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Here's what Moriarty knows about DICK

Not getting any heat from me. by mr whitefolks	Jul 8th, 1999 02:23:14 AM
Oh hell man, I've been saying Kirsten Dunst was my future wife for YEARS. Right along with Natalie Portman, the chick from The Secret World Of Alex Mack, and Alyssa Milano. Personally I've been saying this film would be good since I saw the first trailer, and Moriarty's review only made me more determined. Hollywood got my letters. They made Dan Hayada play a US President. They reunited Bruce McCulloch and Dave Foley. They put Kirsten Dunst in a lead role! This is truely a movie made for me!
WHO WANTS DICK by misterWINKIE	Jul 8th, 1999 02:47:35 AM
so..the other day i was at my girlfriends house and she asked me if i wanted to see DICK. well i told her no. i dont like "DICK". so..then she started pressuring me and telling me that she heard that it was good. i told her i doubt it. it is something i aint interested in. she also told me it was humorous...and i told her...how can u find anything humorous in this??? so she told me if i wouldnt go with her to see DICK that she was going to go with her friend to see DICK... DICK...TOGETHER...i said .hell no...you better not...i dont think it would be safe....then she told me that her and her friend were going to go see DICK cuz it is cheaper before 5---and it only cost $5...WTF !!!!!.....so thats when i broke up with her....later i found out what she was talking about...a movie...sigh....so now i have tried to get her back..but she wont come...so i guess i will just suffer .....well........i guess i'll be single until hollywood comes out with "PUSSY".........sigh....
Dick by W. Leach	Jul 8th, 1999 05:40:36 AM
I didn't know dick about this movie (except for a little blurb in Entertainment Weekly's summer movie preview) before I read this review. Thanks, Moriarty. This will certainly be one for me to catch this summer.
Getting Hell by Stefka	Jul 8th, 1999 06:45:58 AM
Look, this is like the third time that I have said this. I don't care if you want to say how hot teenage girls (that would be illegal to have sex with) that's dandy with me. Yay freedom of speech! But make it both ways. I, for instance would like a review of Tom Cruise in Eyes Wide Shut like Harry's Heather Grahm rant in his Austin Powers review. (Although I know that I will never get it) Just, if you can, make your reviews both ways. Hell, get one of your female minions to do it. If you need female volunteers, I will be more than happy to help out! Really! But honestly, compared to some of the things that Harry has written - that was pretty delicately put.
Girls love Dick by Sarcastro	Jul 8th, 1999 07:25:38 AM
Hey Stefka, of course we all want to sleep with teenage girls. That's why there is a law against it. Can't wait to see this picture. I am a huge Nixon fan and combining him with hot chicks is the best thing since well hot chicks. If you want to slobber over little Tommy Cruise then write your own damn review.
Eating Dick by StuEdwards	Jul 8th, 1999 07:47:01 AM
Can't wait for the inevitable fast-food tie-ins...who wouldn't want to sink their teeth into a Dick Sandwich, or a Big Dick? How's about a Taco Bellend? Maybe they will launch a Dick Teaser Trailer?
Kirsten by Threnody	Jul 8th, 1999 08:56:14 AM
There is no doubt Kirsten is a kickass actor...altho she has yet to match the strength of her 'Interview...' role, I'm sure she will be fantastic in Dick. And boy is she pretty. She (along with Drew Barrymore) defies the rule that a cute kid will turn into an awkard looking young adult (that Culkin kid, and Cindy from the Brady Bunch being two prime examples). Oh, and to that guy that mentioned that girl from Alex Mack...her name is Larisa Oleynik, and did you catch her all grown up in that teen comedy '10 things...'?
How much more fair can Harry get? by L0raX	Jul 8th, 1999 09:03:25 AM
Apparently the nag above never read the review of Phantom Menace and 10 gay films Harry published a month or so ago. He not only covers "both" sides - he covers ALL sides! Shut up and start writing your own reviews if you want to see comments on Tom Cruise's ass in print.
Disco Dolls in Hot Skin by dogbowl99	Jul 8th, 1999 10:11:10 AM
Excellent 3D porno! Non-stop laughter throughout the whole film. They even have the nerve to give John "the wad" Holmes top billing even though he is only in it for a few seconds!
Am I funny yet? by Tom Lee	Jul 8th, 1999 12:23:30 PM
Well, it certainly seems like everyone loves Dick. Indeed, I think a little Dick will do everyone good. Anyone who dislikes this movie? They obviously don't know Dick. In fact, you might say that Dick is going to shoot white hot jets of semen all over the place its opening weekend at the box office. Or you could think of an original joke that hasn't been made a million times in the press already. Either way.
Chicks with Dick by BadAshe	Jul 8th, 1999 01:04:52 PM
Of course, it's not suprising to find a movie where 2 chicks want to spend alot of time with DICK. From all of the reviews, it seems that they are obsessed with DICK. The only problem I have is with the emotional content of this movie. How does it handle Nixon himself? I mean I'm sure that if my girlfriend goes with me to spend some time in a dark, and hopefully empty, theater the least she deserves is some seriously Deep DICK.
Anyone else want to throw in another "dick" pun? by dennis	Jul 8th, 1999 01:21:13 PM
Well, this trailer looks pretty funny. The comedic talent of the supporting cast involved is basically off the scale in my book. It's a Groundling fest. Dan Heyeda is one of the most gifted performers...everthing he does just brings a smile to my face. I hope this movie wipes WWW off the face of the earth.
WHAT< DICK YOURSELF MANANANANANANANANAN! I SAY CAUGHT WITH ME PA by Daverave	Jul 8th, 1999 01:57:54 PM
What is he on about. GHET A TURKEY UP YOUR KNOWS. hey whats wrong with YOU!!!!!!! ILL TELL YOU WHAT ITS NOT LIKE THE OLD DAYS!!!!!!! Tune into the BIG BREAKIE 7 until 9. FFFFFFFF
Dunst vs. Graham by MrNiceGuy	Jul 8th, 1999 03:11:32 PM
Kirsten Dunst? That's a BIG step down, Moriarty. Dunst can't even live up to Graham's meager intelligence, and seems to lack personality. And that is completely ignoring the looks department. Graham wins, all across the board, even if she was exceedingly wooden in "The Spy Who Shagged Me".
I'm waiting for the sequel!!!! DICK: BIGGER, LONGER AND UNCUT!!! by Nihilon	Jul 8th, 1999 09:29:17 PM
My apologies to whomever i stole that joke from.
He loves the Dick. by Wolfpack	Aug 10th, 2006 09:10:40 AM

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