Needless to say, Anderson was shocked. When he asked Seagal just what the hell he was doing, he said he was only there to help out the people of New Orleans and declined to appear on camera.

Basically, Anderson went on to say that running into Officer Steven Seagal was the most surreal experience he had while covering Katrina. Pretty funny stuff.

But of course, Vern's already been here. So I'm done.

A freaking Steven Segal reality show! Move over Tyra, The Soup just found its go to clip of the week, every...single...week. This will be AWESOMEEEEEE

'Get SOME!

David Spade: "[Seagal] didn’t want to go along with what the plan was that week, and as a result, I think that was the first week that I heard talk about replacing the host and just doing a cast show."

Julia Sweeney: "When we pitched our ideas for Seagal at our Monday meeting, he gave us some of his own sketch ideas. And some of his sketch ideas were so heinous, but so hilariously awful, it was like we were on Candid Camera.

He had this idea that he’s a therapist and he wanted Victoria Jackson to be his patient who’s just been raped. And the therapist says, “You’re going to have to come to me twice a week for like three years,” because, he said, “that’s how therapists fucking are. They’re just trying to get your money.” And then he says that the psychiatrist tries to have sex with her."

Awesome, no?

www.aintitcool.com/talkback_di splay/30704

Are we sure this is "real"? (Damn, TV's bad.)

And SS was great in "Executive Decision" with that short scene: "You will."

He was wearing one of those funky stereotype asian robes that tourist sometimes feel compelled to wear when they visit the country and kept looking around like he was looking for someone or waiting for something to happen. He also had a bad tan and looked pretty heavy.

Now that I think about it I wonder if he was waiting to see if anyone recognized him (nobody appeared to). That was three or two years ago but the first time I thought about it since that actual day.

Gawd, I miss the old days when the beating pigtail aikido master made great movies and not DTV bullshit (which I mostly blame on the horrible directors).

That said, I really loved your book, Vern! I literally had to laugh out loud a couple of times. Only very few books manage to do so.

The 'unwritten rules' of successful reality TV are becoming more transparent:

- The person/group must be talentless or close to it.
- If they ever had a career it must be bottoming out (or close to it).

- At least one of characters MUST be unbearable.
- Have a premise that is mind numbingly simply and/or stupid OR something inherently repugnant and offensive.

- The potential for train-wreck TV is absolutely essential.

SS as a cop fits these catagories. They won't even be able to teach this obnoxious prick how to run like a straight man (remember, he claims to be straight).

Though on the plus side, I would like to see if a crook starts running away from him, will he just shoot him as it seems less than likely that fatso can actually even run anymore. No one wants to see a fat girl run. It would be like the Cloverfield monster, it's moving you're just not sure how and it doesn't look right.

Thank fuck that trash is canceled.

If this isn't a stunt show and he's actually a deputy, then good for him for actually DOING something to help out instead of sitting around and saying, "gee I sure hope things are going well for those folks."

This smells like a Dog The Bounty Hunter rip-off, except the difference is that the persona we all know in Seagal is movie acting. Dog Chapman is himself on camera - he has a natural charisma about him that makes you really root for him and his brood - but lets be honest: the only reason the show survives is because people are hoping to see a train wreck.

Steven Seagal vs. Paula Dean. First a cook-off, and then *shudder* the battle to end all battles.

CANS OF SPRAYPAINT!

KURISAN?

yes?

Iron Chef is spraying his chicken with a honey yellow rustoleum. How daring!

And challenger Seagal appears to be putting them in a microwave set to 'reheat' this should be very inter*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OM!!!

Fucking hilarious. That mechanical owl? I fucking loved that R2D2 beeping rip off. Who the fuck thought that was a good idea? Oh well....who fucking cares. That little guy was the best thing about that movie. And he sho' could sucka' deeek!!

But then, Dog was in jail for a while, maybe he enjoys being the bottom to his wife's dick...

Now she's taking side work guiding barges into Key West.