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Moriarty's RUMBLINGS FROM THE LAB #2

Kubrick. by Jonte	Jun 29th, 1999 01:28:50 AM
Does anybody know the Swedish releasedate for Eyes Wide Shut?
Jesus Moriarty... by matrix69	Jun 29th, 1999 01:54:41 AM
Take Kubrick's lead and cut about 65 lines from that rambling-ass piece! Good Lord, this is the Internet, not WAR AND PEACE.
I Know, I Know... I Screwed Up by Moriarty	Jun 29th, 1999 02:49:09 AM
Hey, all... Before I get hammered with e-mail about it, I know that only issues #1-6 of the DAREDEVIL run are out. I meant to type that, and say that the full run will be an additional two issues, the first of which is due next week. I just got goofy and left that part out. I apologize. Now don't bother correcting me, 'kay? "Moriarty" out.
Moriarty! Can I read the latest 2 DAREDEVILS! SCAN THEM IN!!! by Harry Knowles	Jun 29th, 1999 03:03:08 AM
Hahahaha, couldn't resist old man. I figured that headline would cause you to... FREAK! Oh it's funny to make no sense at 5am on a Tuesday morning!!!! Hee hee hoo hoo haa haa!!!! Damn verbose Moriarty. You folks have no idea how difficult it was to fit that report within the 'standardized' size limits of the code. Well... at least I was able to cut out all that nonsenes about Koepp's latest draft of SPIDER-MAN that Moriarty read!
Did anybody catch that TNT movie Pirates of Silicon Valley? by paragonian	Jun 29th, 1999 03:24:09 AM
It was the best made for TV movie since George Wallace. I would LOVE to see a TV movie in that style about all the early filmmakers like Spielberg, Lucas, Scorcese, De Palma and others. The computer world and the film world were so similar it's scary. That guy on Meet Joe Black would be a perfect De Palma clone too.
A (small) complaint... by Severen	Jun 29th, 1999 04:20:36 AM
Moriarty, first up you are without a doubt, along with Glenn over at coaxial, one of the best things on this site. You manage to write informed, intelligent pieces without the usual b/s assocciated with a lot that happens on this site (And I know this is probably being overly anal and nit picky but Harry, as much as I admire what you've done here can you at least try spell people's names right, it's not that hard). Your reports have always been good reading, however there's one point I'd like to pick you up on in this latest report. As much as I agree with you about trailers that give away too much (surely the bane of any true creative artist working in films today, not to mention all true film fans) the example that you gave about Arlington Road's trailer spoiling things or giving the game away, surely by describing what they did wrong you have commited the very same mistake, and done so on a world wide scale, this being the net and all. Not that I'm pointing fingers, but to complain about giving away too much while doing likewise only weakens the strength of your arguement. Other than that (small) quibble great work as always, and keep up the evil work. (Oh and kudos especially on the Kevis Smith piece, very well done)
A small(er) complait by Toby O. Notobe	Jun 29th, 1999 04:56:48 AM
To Severen who bitched at Harry for not being able to spell names right and then in the very same post said he liked the bit about 'Kevis Smith'.
Five Stars (out of five) by Oberon	Jun 29th, 1999 06:30:59 AM
Another well crafted, well-connected and intelligent submission from the good professor. He's turning into the star of AICN. Keep him on board, even if it means you have to increase his daily feedings.
Simpsons Correction by Proffessor Frink	Jun 29th, 1999 06:34:50 AM
Actually a disgusted Nelson utters the line "I can think of at least two things wrong with that title." Knoxville Knoxville!
Arlington Road by The Graduate	Jun 29th, 1999 07:21:19 AM
I've gotta agree with you that the ad campaign for ARLINGTON ROAD is total shite, and that includes the first trailer I saw last winter. Now, I have no idea about the quality of the actual movie, though the reviews on this site have been mildly favorable. However, if the whole point of the movie is "is he or isn't he" (a terrorist), the last thing you want to do is cut a trailer making it abundently clear that "he is." It's hard enough to sustain suspense in a film like that without spoiling it eight months before the release! Now I probably won't see the film, because I already know the answer to the film's central question and I can pretty much guess the "Hollywood ending" that will sum it up. Get a clue, marketing! Tease the audience with the film's atmosphere and premise, don't spoil the plot! Watch those Kubrick spots for inspiration! Then watch 'em over again, and repeat till you get it right!
re: pargonian, and my thoughts on the EWS tv spots by spike lee	Jun 29th, 1999 07:34:31 AM
I caught Pirates of Silicon Valley, and you are right, for a tv movie it is well done. I can belive a great story like this slipped through Hollywood's fingers. The Eyes Wide Shut tv spots are outstanding. Nothing is given away, and I am dying to know what is up with those masked characters. Tom Cruise said that he got an ulcer from working with Kubrick, probably because Kubrick actually made Tommy work, andthat has not happened since Born on the Forth of July.
Font hurts eyes by -Z-	Jun 29th, 1999 08:10:51 AM
Please Moriarty, or Harry, never again use that horrible red font. In small doses, it's ok, but to read that much text in that font is downright painful.
Daredevil #'s 7 & 8 ??!! by MrFunnyShoes	Jun 29th, 1999 08:13:50 AM
Mmmm... I thought issues 7 and 8 of Daredevil weren't out yet! Issue #7 has only been put on the Diamond release list for next week, hasn't it? Anybody know?
awww crap.. by Fiebska	Jun 29th, 1999 08:31:16 AM
firstly, excellent submission Moriarty, 'twas a pleasure to read. secondly, LUGO, read the REST OF THE FRIKKIN' TALKBACKS! moriarty addressed your concern. unless of course you're attempting humor by being annoying. in which case, your attempt brought nary a chuckle to this poster...
Shame on you, Moriarty! by Prankster	Jun 29th, 1999 09:13:17 AM
This is my first EVER complaint about Moriarty, but he said something I just gotta object to: "As long as Disney drives the market, though -- and TARZAN
Three Cheers by thyestes	Jun 29th, 1999 09:32:19 AM
Moriarty is proving himself to be the Larry King of filmland geeks. Three cheers!
You should have your own TV show by All Thumbs	Jun 29th, 1999 09:55:59 AM
Moriarty, your column is so intelligent and insightful with a hint of aristocratic...ahh, hell...it just kicks some major ass. Kevin Smith, bitching about movie trailers and a short review of American Pie all in one article! I love you! Can I have Kevin Smith's phone number? JUST KIDDING! Kevin Smith seems to be a very down to earth kind of guy who just happens to write, star in and direct some of the best films of this generation as well as make some comics that not only look good but delve deep into the realm of real-life issues. I wouldn't want to bother him in the midst of the creative process or feeding time for his new daughter. About movie trailers, though, I try to avoid the things like the plague. I really enjoy ones that are vague like the South Park one with Cartman doing the German dance or the new Toy Story II trailer (laughed my ass off before the movie I went to see started!). I wish more trailers were like those, but I have to say a friend of mine doesn't agree. While we were watching these trailers, she goes, "They're not telling me anything about the movie! How am I supposed to know if I want to see these things?!" Dammit, I wanted to say, it's Toy Story II and South Park...what more reason do you need???? Ok, I'm ranted out for the moment. This girl is signing off by saying, "Moriarty, you're an evil genius!"
smith by lalapoo	Jun 29th, 1999 10:09:12 AM
What makes you think Kevin would make a good Daredevil film -a film like that requires intense visual composition -his weakness as a filmmaker is just that, he can't compose an interesing shot to save his life. He's a writer, he should not be behind the camera.
Why Religious Folk don't Like Smith by republicandude	Jun 29th, 1999 10:30:09 AM
Moriarty, I love you. You write great reviews and do it in a manner which makes me laugh my butt off. I'm currently still in search of said buttocks. Perhaps you don't understand why Christians like myself don't like Kevin Smith much. Mainly it's becuase he doesn't seem to like US very much. I remember reading an article when Smith was picked to re-write the Superman script. In the article Smith was quoted as saying he was trying to insert comic and twisted religious symbolism, in his words (near as I can remember them), to "make those pricks mad." Said pricks I take to mean persons of a Christian persuasion. I'll be the first to say there are quite a few Christian's who ain't. First, nobody's perfect. Second, some folk are more imperfect than others (I count myself in this latter section). Through the ages men and women have done hideous things in the name of Christ or God. The horrors of Inquisitions, Salem Trials, and various bloody Crusades have left their indelible mark upon the world, much for the worse. The point is that many people call themselves Christian who don't know the meaning of the word, and many who DO know its meaning abuse its use. When they err, people always seem to blame their (supposed) faith rather than their humanity. Still, there are masses of charitable, hard-working, loving people who hold the meaning of God and Christ near to their hearts. These people, whether you believe them to be mad or no, cherish the idea that they have found a great gift... which they'd love to share. When people such as Mr. Smith mock these people and their gift, they are mortally hurt. This hurt sometimes becomes anger, for they are all to human. It is, to them, as if they've brought someone a precious jewel for which they have sacrificed, and they offer this jewel up only to be mocked. Their jewel is called paste, their devotion foolishness, their desire to share rebuked as "trying to shove your beliefs down my throat." I'll not argue about the veracity of the Christian creed. This is certainly not the place for such philosophical debates. But as it pertains to Dogma and Kevin Smith, at least try to see things from the point of view of the better, more faithful part of the Christian mass. It is not easy to be mocked so openly, so deliberately. Mr. Smith TRIES to offend Christians, and has great fun doing it. Why be suprised, or why be angry, when the offended rebuke the offender? Dave Brown republicandude@geocities.com
Christ, get off of Smith's dick already! by Fred4sure	Jun 29th, 1999 10:39:17 AM
Moriarty, You need to get the EPA in for a scan of your labs. You must be getting doused with Radon if can call Kevin Smith a comic book writing god without bursting out laughing. His movies are mild diversions as best, but his 'writing' on Daredevil resembles something scraped out of Stan Lee's sewer pipes. Quit bobbin' on his crotch and rethink your comparison of Smith's work to thas of Moore, Miller and Busiac. A statement like that only makes sense if you're joking. --Fred4Sure
Well, Allow Me To Retort by Anton_Sirius	Jun 29th, 1999 10:49:42 AM
Blah Blah- Moriarty (and people like me who desperately pray to whatever deities there are that Mononoke and Iron Giant hit for $100 million each) isn't saying that Disney needs to be destroyed to pave the way for more adult themes in American feature animation. He's saying that as long as Disney keeps racking up big bucks with their kiddie flicks, the kiddie flick formula is what audiences will be accustomed to, and what timid studios will copy. Antz is one of my favorite animated pictures simply because of the balls DreamWorks showed making it in the first place. As for YOU, grunter: 1) Jeez, guy, they're only comics; take a pill. 2) Jeez, guy, it's only copulation; take a pill. (And I'd like to point out that without two 'hets' forgetting to pull out, you wouldn't be here to enlighten us in the first place.)
not saying i likes it or hates it by -Z-	Jun 29th, 1999 10:54:37 AM
republicandude, but I will tell you this, I attended Catholic school for 7 years (am a non Christian)and was told at age 10, that unless I converted to Catholicism and accepted Jesus that I was going to hell. This was not a vague, "you really should give Christianity a try because it's all about loving brotherhood" type of speech, this was a very specific "your gonna burn in hell you little infidel" type of speech. I witnessed this type of "in your face" preaching for 7 years, even after I left one school to go to a more "liberal" Catholic school. When I went to university, I had to constantly listen to street corner maniacs (hanging around on campus, a bastion of sin and liberal thought) deride me and say what a bad person I was for not accepting Jesus, etc... Growing up in this country, which claims to be secular, is to become acutely aware of the white, protestant point of view reguarding religion. Christmas specials, Easter specials, most places of business are closed on Sunday. Can't buy a bottle of liquor (in Texas at least) on Sundays. I have had Christianity crammed down my throat. My mother is a Christian, and a devout one. She went to Church and encouraged us to do so. When I said no, she respected my decision. Most people, do not. So, you'll excuse those of us who don't feel sorry for you when the church takes a little flak.
-=Phriendly neighborhood Phreak=- by Phr33k0uT	Jun 29th, 1999 11:08:12 AM
Fred4Sure has obviously NOT read the run of _DareDevil_, and Grunter, you should just stop coming here, because everytime you post, you prove your stupidity even more. There ARE historical DD referrances in Kevin Smith's _DareDevil_ run, but you don't need to know the whole damn story of it to understand what's going on. Go read it, you pinhead. Do you always post without getting the facts ... oh, wait, I almost forgot who I was talking to.
THE GREEN MILE! And Catholics and Christians! by Doctor Zaz	Jun 29th, 1999 11:08:17 AM
To tell you the truth The Green Mile to me is what Star Wars was to y'all(Yes I love Star Wars alot too and had high hopes and WAS NOT disappointed). I have really high hopes for this movie. I read the first draft of the script awhile back and fell in love with John Coffey and Paul Edgecomb. I hadn't even read the serial novel and didn't have a chance to until a few weeks ago. And God I loved the book. Now I know that the script has no doubt went through a few changes but the one thing I know is that Frank Darabont would never wander away from the beauty in The Green Mile. I think that this movie will be everything I wanted it to be and I can't wait until December when I can finally see the finished work. Now to other pressing matters. I know there are probably a few more Christians and Catholics out there that read this site too and probably some have complained about Dogma. I can see why too. It seems from the rumours that it takes all that is sacred and turns it into an evil thing. Well I think that is further from the truth but I'll have to wait for the movie to be sure. My view on it is trust no rumours and just see for myself. AS Christians we should not be complaining about shit. We should be telling people about the shit and what it really means. There's alot of fucked up shit out there. We partake in it regularly too. I think it is dumb that we complain about sex in movies when God says that it is the purest way to express love. And then there is a tiny matter known as Kosovo. There seems little movement by any League, Catholic or any other religion to help those refugees. Maybe I'm just out of touch but I don't think so. Stop being concerned with trivial matters like how much sex is in Eyes Wide Shut or how much God is made fun of in Dogma and take a look at reality cause it is alot scarier than Hollywood. Maybe I am rambling a bit but I really don't give a fuck. I love movies and I love Kevin Smith cause he,like The Onion and Monty Python, can take religion and anything sacred and can turn it into outrageous satire and show us as Christians how dumb we can be about things. Let's all get lives and start worrying about souls and not trivia. That's all for now folks. Sorry if it sounds all convoluted. PS I love swearing at other Christians...heh heh...BE OFFENDED EVERYWHERE!!!!
I've read Smith's Daredevil's, Phr33k0uT and I have the scars to by Fred4sure	Jun 29th, 1999 11:25:38 AM
Reading Smith's comics is sort of like watching an accident victim learning to walk again. It's painful, obvious and rudimentary. In the old days you had to know how to write comics before you were given a comic to write. I guess faux celebrities get special consideration. I hear Fabio is writing and penciling a Fantastic Four mini-series, and John Tesh is working on a Hulk story arc. --Fred4Sure
Harley Quinn Smith . . .? by soylentphil	Jun 29th, 1999 04:33:31 PM
Jesus Christ. "Thanks, dad." Fred4Sure - Great fucking blurb! " . . like watching an accident victim learn to walk again." Maybe they can put it on the back of the TPB. Kudos!
More on adult animation. by Kerisu	Jun 29th, 1999 06:37:20 PM
Out of all of the Talkbacks on this site that deal with animation, I can hardly find any at all that deal with some of the recent features produced by the good folks over in Japan. I know what you're thinking -- "Japanimation? All that big-eyed cutesypie shit? Give me a break. It's nothing but Pokemon or tentacle rape." Well, apparently not, because there are several movies that will be seeing the light of day in theaters here in the US in the near future. The big one, obviously, would be Mononoke Hime, aka "Princess Mononoke". I dug this movie a lot, but I still wouldn't say it really broke any huge boundaries for so-called "adult animation". The director himself, Hayao Miyazaki, even called it a movie for children. What sets it apart from the pack of Disney musicals is the willingness to go the extra mile and tackle the heavy duty issues. I doubt you'll see any films from the domestic camp that actually make you lose your faith in humanity the way that Mononoke does. It's very dark, but yet still has an uplifting message. The second movie is one called "Perfect Blue", and it's supposedly set to be released early in August by Manga Entertainment (you may remember them from a few years back, releasing the "Ghost In The Shell" movie). This one is definitely, absolutely not for kids. Adult animation defined. How to describe it... think of a psychological thriller suspense film with the amplitude turned up to 11. The basic plot is that a pop music star (ala Geri Halliwell of the Spice Girls) decides to leave the group that she's in and concentrate on her "acting" career. However, some of her fans just can't handle her changing her lifestyle so suddenly and drastically. So many events unfold quickly and furiously, to the point where the actress begins to start having a mental breakdown. Then the really weird shit starts happening. If it's playing near you, _go_see_it_. Unfortunately, it'll most likely be relegated to arthouses on a very limited run, so I don't expect it to really challenge the throne of domestic animated pictures. The final one, which might have a shot at it, would be the new Vampire Hunter D. If you saw the original back in the 80's, you may want to take another look. This one is a complete overhaul of the original, supposedly with a different story, and all-new animation that blends cel and CG seamlessly. Just from the short preview, it looks amazing. Considering the cult status of the original, and with a bit of aggressive marketing, this film could easily break Japanese animation again like "Akira" did so many years ago. If you'd like to see that trailer for VHD, it's available on the Urban Vision website (http://www.urban-vision.com) in Quicktime format, and it looks absolutely breathtaking. In any case, all of these pretty much outshine any sort of feature length animation that's coming from the major studios these days, with the possible exception of the South Park movie (and, really, what's that but a 90 minute long TV episode? ^_^). Take care, everyone.
The Catholic League isn't big on comic books. by Alexandra DuPont	Jun 29th, 1999 06:59:48 PM
I hate to say this, Moriarty, but the reason the Catholic League makes no stink or protest over Kevin Smith's wonderful and provocative "Daredevil" writing is because nobody but hard-core fans read comic books anymore -- even the good ones. They see comic-book MOVIES instead. (I am, incidentally, an occasional cartoonist myself. I'm NOT belittling comics.) Just a commentary on the sad state of readership. Back to you!
Gweilo, fair comment... by Severen	Jun 29th, 1999 08:59:32 PM
I can't type for shit (being minorly dyslexic doesn't help either), still before before complaining about others wrong spellings I should at least try not to do the same myself. Still in my own defense my mistake was a rather obvious typo as opposed to just getting someone's name wrong. That doesn't make it any less stupid of course, just pointing out there is a (minor) difference.
Hey Hey Ma by SegueZagnut	Jun 30th, 1999 01:05:49 AM
Moriarty doesn't have a automatic phone dialer. Moriarty probably doesn't even have a phone. Moriarty is a 70 year old midget with only 3 fingers on his right hand. Moriarty doesn't actually exist and sadly neither do his chemically neutered henchmen. When you can figure out what any of that means then you'll get the joke. Consider This...
Arlington Road by Mediatwin	Jun 30th, 1999 01:11:52 AM
Yes, the trailer does suck and give far too much away but don't let that put you off seeing it. It's a good thriller, plus it keeps its nerve right through to the end.
Hey Ma! Look, no hands!...... by The_Cleaner	Jun 30th, 1999 10:55:16 PM
I have to wonder if you (Hey Ma) are in fact joking. It seems absolutely impossible to think that someone could be so spectacularly obtuse as to not get the jest about the automatic phone dialer. He's an EVIL GENIUS stupid; that means he has access to cool EVIL gadgets. Things like "lazers" and shoe phones. It goes with the territory. Seriously though, the automatic phone dialer is actually very common. Its called the "predictive dialer" and is used by nefarious telemarketers to get you when you least expect it. They are actually really neat machines (mostly software). I doubt Moriarty has one of these either though HEY MA, because his EVIL GENIUS riff is a running joke... But you knew that right? Nobody is that dumb....
Call Pres. Bush! He's conducting stem cell research! by Wolfpack	Aug 8th, 2006 08:09:41 AM
That'll teach him to try to find a cure for Alzheimer's.

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Moriarty's RUMBLINGS FROM THE LAB #2

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