If the producers of this series of god-awful series of films were the mentally retarded kid it'd make we want shed all my humanity, steal his lunch money, ass-rape him with a copy of Airplane!, chainsaw his arms and legs off, chuck him over a ledge and then run him down with steam roller proceeding a marching band.

Still, I wish they'd do some spoof movies from the Brook/Zucker-Abrams-Zucker/Pyt hon school, where there's more to it than referencing whatever was popular in the last 6 months. Walk Hard was in that mold, but it didn't, imo, deliver the laughs.

"I can't wait to see that"

"That looks really funny!"

Oy

FUCK YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKERS YOUR FUCKING KIDS TELL YOUR SHITTING KIDS TO STOP PLAYING WITH THE ELECTRIC CARTS YOU FUCKS!

Please people, if you feel you need to see this for whatever reason (friends forcing you to, masochistic need to see just how bad it can be, want to take a dump in the theatre, etc.), at least buy a ticket for another movie and sneak into this. Don't pay for garbage.

And I firmly believe Spartans beat Rambo because underage kids were buying tickets to Spartans and sneaking into Rambo.

I don't feel bad for these guys, pathetic and talentless as they are. I once thought that any one of us here could do what they do but I no longer believe that. I think that most of us could never do anything that bad; I think it takes tremendous lack of talent to be that awful. Most of us, with what little talent we may have, would put enough effort into it that it would never reach the abysmal depths of crap that these two manage, time and again, to achieve. Simply put - they suck!

Not that it will, bomb, of course - it will open within the top 5, probably as #2 or even 1.

Note, however, that this trend started not with them, but with Leslie Nielsen. After his Naked Gun popularity, in the 90s, he went on to, ahem, "star" in a pile of horrors - "Spy Hard", "Wrongfully Accused", "Space Travesty" - remember those? Then those things spawned some even worse clones (anyone recalling "The Silence of the Hams"?) and opened the huge gates for Aaron and his buddy. And the gates will stay open.

Also, the average FG episode at least has a plot and talented people working on it. These dipshits just seem to think that talking black is cool..."Awww hellllNAW!!!!" Hahahahahhaahahah. Even better when the person is white. Oh the hilarity!

I doubt these assholes could tell a knock-knock joke, but, they're tapping into that market who just needs something colourful moving on a screen to be entertained. I physically hate those people, I don't care how young they are, theres no excuse for being a moron.

.

.

The natural progression of this movie.

I do have to say though, the rabid and demon-possessed Alvin and the Chipmunks made me laugh a little the first time I saw it pop up in a trailer.

Hooray!

Lizard shit!!

FUCK!!!

So rry, felt like this TB needed a good Carlin cheer.

Destroyed... as if this was some biting satire that was just going to rip them to shreds.

Admittedly, though, those who get their excitement (and probably news) from MTV actually will believe that. On the other hand, they don't read anything, and if they do, they get bored and distracted after three sentences... so I have to wonder, what exactly was the point of that, uhhh, "article"...?

Zucker employs out of work SNL cast members, Friedman/Seltzer employs out of work MadTV cast members. Oh, and Zucker tries to be funny...

She should go back to what she does best..giving homeless people rim-jobs behind the dumpster.

"That was a spoof of the Rocky Movies. geddit ? GEDDDIT!!!!"

They laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.

Even after you have done it 20 times.

In 5 minutes.

Honestly, leaving the house to go see Disaster Movie is a lose-lose situation (you lose by wasting your money and we lose by getting stuck behind you at the multiplexe doors because you can't tell the difference between "push" and "pull").

Probably the audience cheered him on "Dude! Did you SEE THAT! That fucker just laid one in the theater! AWESOME!"

I mean what else is there to say about it ? His is the perfect review and reaction.

BTW Did anyone REALLY think Masssa was being serious ? I think overblown prose and rude or risky mataphor is hardly just the exclusive domain of Massa on this site. Sometimes it's very funny, sometimes less so, sometimes not really but I'm not about to claw my eyes out everytime I see it.

Star Wars, for example. One of the centerpiece conversations in that film, what I hear quoted a lot from that film (besides "57 dicks," or whatever the fuck ... okay, "poop," "pee" and "dick" will always be jokes onto themselves to some people, but that's another story) is the whole "Death Star contractors" bit. It's clever. I'm not saying it's not clever. But it's a "clever reference." There's nothing clever about it in a vacuum, or to people who live in this time and era but never saw Star Wars.

I may be inflating that example a bit, but from all I've seen of Smith's work (which is most of his films), plus live talks he's given, I don't know what much there else to the guy besides "references", except maybe an endless array of "gay jokes" and man-children who don't get how lucky they are to be listless do-nothings with gorgeous women fawning over them for no godly reason.

What really cemented the idea in my head, though, is when he cracked this joke once before an audience (paraphrasing): "So I heard Tim Burton was going to do Superman, which I guess would mean Superman has scissors for hands or something."

And people laughed.

Okay, Burton doesn't do filmSSSSS with characters randomly having scissors for hands. He did ONE film with a guy CALLED "Edward Scissorhands." See, this is the next step in cultural devolution following in the wake of 'Clerks.'

Mention Star Wars + dick jokes, get a laugh. Want it to be "PG-13"? Just mention Star Wars (and maybe pee-pee). Want to lower the bar even further? Forget Star Wars, which came out, like, YEARS ago. Instead, just turn on the TV, figure out what's playing, and record yourself saying, "LOOK, SOMETHING IS ON TV, AND I'M REFERENCING IT!"

Stop calling these PARODIES or SPOOFS ... or even COMEDIES ...

... they are REFERENTIALS, a term I just made up to describe movies ("Disaster Movie") and television shows ("Family Guy" ... heck, even "Seinfeld") where the central crux of the quote-unquote "humor" comes from referencing shit people know.

The only step left to take is the inevitable release of "MOVIE MOVIE." Yep, it'll be a brilliant meta-movie black-hole-implosion of an event in which all those supposed "spoof" movies get spoofed. It will be two hours of characters saying things like, "Look, I'm referencing the movie that referenced Amy Winehouse! Remember Disaster Movie? I'M THAT GUY!!! THE REFERENCER!!!"

You would need a herd of diarrhoetic buffalo to overwhelm the shit they were watching.

We hate him, not necessarily because he has what we want, but because he's no better than the rest of us. He's not good looking, he's not overly intelligent, he's not athletic, he's not funny. He's popular because his parents have money and becuase of his association with a couple of kids who went on to play varsity football (the Wayans brothers). But he doesn't appreciate what he has. Instead of thinking "wow, did I ever luck out, I'm going to make the most out of the opportunity I have and be the best person I can be", he acts like an entitled asshole. He hides behind the football team (no screenings for critics) and hopes no one has the balls to stand up to him.

We didn't come to watch Massa, our own personal Judd Nelson type, take this kid down a peg. We came to join the fray. We came to let this little shit know exactly what we think of him. Sure, we expect Massa to take the hits (by seeing the film) but we'll be there supporting him all the way.

This isn't a massacre of a kid who can't defend himself against the school bully. This is a self-entitled prick who continually asks to get his ass kicked. Massawyrm simply answered the call.

This movie deserves all the negativity being generated towards it. I'm glad Massawyrm reviewed a film I knew he would hate (based on how much he hated Meet the Spartans) and that most of us would not have seen anyway. Is it wrong to bad-mouth an obviously bad film? Yes, if it's some small-time indy film from a first-time writer/director that was made for next to nothing. But that's not this movie. This movie has a major studio behind it and had a budget of $20 million, created by 2 guys who have done this 3 times before. This movie was advertised all over the mainstream media for weeks. The same mainstream media that, due to the film not being screened for critics, would be silent on the merits (or lack thereof) come opening day. If only one person read Massawyrm's review and decided "no, I'm not going to see that afterall" then this review was well worth it.

Do the writers/directors of this movie, and the studio that released it, give a shit what a bunch of nobodies think? Based on the movie they made I would have to say "no". But they should care. Us "nobodies" are the ones who go to the movies. The same nobodies, for the most part, that stayed away from this movie. If you have no respect for your audience, if you don't listen to your critics and continually keep making the same mistakes, it will eventually come back to bite you on the ass ($6 million opening weekend). In this case it took 3 movies before the majority of film-goers wised up. Sad to think there were still about 3/4 of a million people out there who saw the trailers and commercials for this movie and thought "that is something I am willing to pay money to see" and did.

I do think Massawyrm's review wasn't as scathing as the one he did for Meet the Spartans. I think the best review I read for Disaster Movie was (to paraphrase) "Why should I put more effort into writing a review since they obviously put no effort into making the movie". I think that sums it up nicely.