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Massawyrm goes head to head with DEATH RACE!!

1st by BilboRing	Aug 21st, 2008 09:37:34 AM

WOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!! by BilboRing	Aug 21st, 2008 09:38:11 AM
Take that mickey fickeys!!!!!!! I'm first on a review of a brain-dead movie!!!!!!!!
And I'm Second As Well!!! by BilboRing	Aug 21st, 2008 09:38:30 AM
NOOOOCH!!!!!
My Review is up as well. by Rick Flemming	Aug 21st, 2008 09:38:47 AM
I hated it... I am not a spammer by the way, I make no money I just do my own reviews. flemmingonfilms.blogspot.com
And THIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by BilboRing	Aug 21st, 2008 09:38:53 AM
OH HELLS YEAH!!!!!
This the "Twisted Metal" I have been waiting for? by ragunax	Aug 21st, 2008 09:40:06 AM
I am pretty excited about seeing this movie. I'm a big fan of car mayhem, and I think the tone and look of the movie will be perfect for me. Not looking for a fantastic plot, not looking for another Dark Knight....I want pure mayhem, loud cars, hot chicks, and ass-kicking action scenes. Been wanting a "Twisted Metal Black" movie for a while, and this will have to do until that comes out....ever.
i'll believe it when i see it by Achilles1	Aug 21st, 2008 09:43:53 AM
tho to be honest, i did kinda love Mortal Kombat..hope this is more on tha level!!!
How does it compare to Doomsday? by AllNtheReflexes	Aug 21st, 2008 09:47:00 AM
If it's the same sort of ridiculous, fun, genre-mashing, exploitative, crazy, badass popcorn flick, I'll give it a shot. PWSA has a lot of convincing to do, though.
wow by mefrog	Aug 21st, 2008 09:49:41 AM
surprising review that ALMOST raised my interest. Though I'll wait to see who agrees with you first massa.
Yeah, that by LoneGun	Aug 21st, 2008 09:52:54 AM

I had my own Death Race once. by mrfan	Aug 21st, 2008 09:53:17 AM
There were three of us and one beer left in the fridge. I am sure you know the rest of the story.
I will be seeing it.. by Ironmuskrat	Aug 21st, 2008 09:55:56 AM
I am always up for a little mindless fun, but the main reason I will have to watch this is my wife has the hots for Jason Statham(prick). I have to watch everything he is in to make my wife happy. I even had to suffer though In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, or whatever the hell it was. The things you do for love.
Yeah, that's a good review. by LoneGun	Aug 21st, 2008 09:57:44 AM
You make a good case for the film. Personally, I've never quite understood the extreme level of hate towards this director. Sure, I couldn't bring myself to watch AVP but I didn't think EVENT HORIZON, SOLDIER or even RESIDENT EVIL were so bad.
Speaking of Friedberg and Seltzer... by gunga galunga	Aug 21st, 2008 09:57:52 AM
Can we look forward to a Massawyrm 'Disaster Movie' review? Or will your small intestine leap up through your neck to throttle your brain to prevent you from going to see it in the first place?
I'm seeing this with my friends drunk... by spectrebeeyatch	Aug 21st, 2008 10:01:04 AM
At the latest showing possible. We did the same for Doomsday and that was one of the nest times I ever had.
Speaking of remakes, get ready for Children of the Corn by Pennsy	Aug 21st, 2008 10:08:43 AM
http://www.bloody-disgusting.c om/news/13372. David Anders and Kandyse McClure (BSG) will headline this one. WTF?
Im actually looking forward to this... by Marxeffect	Aug 21st, 2008 10:11:09 AM
i'm not sure when its coming to UK shores but i'll definitely get a few mates together, few beers, incessant violence, gratuitous gore etc. etc.
still not convinced by RKO2285	Aug 21st, 2008 10:16:38 AM
If this movie was more like the original than maybe i'd go.. doomsday at least had rhona mitra lol...
AvP by Sailor Rip	Aug 21st, 2008 10:17:32 AM
You know what? For a simple genre sci-fi action flick it's not that bad at all. Same with the first Resident Evil. Massawyrm is dead right. I used to have a problem with PA until Boll showed up and showed us all the direct route to the bottom of the fucking barrell. Besides PA seems like a genuine fan of the genre's he works in. He could use some more talent, no doubt, but his heart's in the right place.
I thought "Event Horizon" was excellent by Pdorwick	Aug 21st, 2008 10:18:00 AM
Derivative sure, but so was... well, everything.
Only way I'll EVER watch this is if... by Kid Z	Aug 21st, 2008 10:22:42 AM
...David Carradine comes in at the end and kills the entire cast.
There we go... by JohnSpartan	Aug 21st, 2008 10:25:01 AM
...put Statham and Diesel in a movie together! Tango and Cash remake anyone?
The Suck.... by MJohnson	Aug 21st, 2008 10:26:23 AM
Seriously...if anyone saw the trailer for this movie and thought it was going to be in any way good, you should never be allowed to spend your own money at a movie theater ever again.
Vern's Review by OJR	Aug 21st, 2008 10:28:58 AM
Vern, You lost me as to why Scorpion King is better than the original Mummy. I like B movies but Scorpion King was utter garbage. The Mummy 2 was a better B movie than SK. Your comment leaves me confused.
Thanks Massawyrm by War_Tourist	Aug 21st, 2008 10:29:10 AM
That's what it looks like and that's what I hope it will be. That other review where the writer got all weepy about The Running Man...I mean give me a break. Escapist fare isn't meant to be analyized unless you're in the business of making it. Otherwise, you either enjoy the ride or you don't. Looks like I've got some smile time ahead of me.
logic and stupidity by Merrick	Aug 21st, 2008 10:31:56 AM
(Since my name was mentioned in the article) There are many fine points made in your review, Massa. And, there's nothing wrong with exploitation or just plain, giddy dopiness. BUT, that's not what Anderson's DEATH RACE is doing. My problems with this movie don't come from it being quite different than the original film. HOWEVER, I'll use the original film as an example. DEATH RACE 2000 wasn't exactly a thinking man's film, either. BUT, it was grounded in a reality that made it compelling...that automatically helped us correlate the fantastical events in the film with our modern world. The notion that anyone on the streets...old, young , male, female, any of us...has no meaning beyond a prescribed point value in a game can be mirrored into our desensitization of random violence we see on the streets today, for example. Or, how the original film deals with America;'s perspective of the race: The idea that violence and bloodshed we regularly see on TVs has become more of a past time than a shock. I'm NOT saying the first film was a message film, but these subtexts gave it a certain substance that's completely missing from Anderson's version. And it6's all replaced with a setting even you admit is dicey (heavily armed war cars in an easily escapable prisi\on) that strains credibility to the breaking point...there's NOTHING to associate with here. Nothing to hold on to so ANderson can take us on the ride, so to speak. And he's not even consistent about it (see below) --- SPOILER WARNING ---- ** At the end of the film, our "heroes" kill dozens of cops in a fiery explosion/highway pile-up. We're supposed to root for this guy? The first half of the film is spent showing us he's not a murderer, but then he's got no qualms about serving his own needs by annihilating scores of law enforcement officials? To me, at least, that seems like a misguided, uncertain vision. This is just Anderson trying to be edgy and cool, but in the awkward way a desperate nerd would dress up like a jock to make friends with the sports crowd at his school. Just my two cents, for whatever they're worth.
Event Horizon was cool! by FleshMachine	Aug 21st, 2008 10:33:01 AM
2001 meets Hellraiser. heh..sorta. Soldier was also pretty cool.
This review needs more Car Wars references by ArcadianDS	Aug 21st, 2008 10:37:59 AM
step it up, Massa. oh and can you call the guy who keeps making you custom avatars for every single update you ever post, and see if maybe he has time to get something for Kellerman? Hers is tragic.
Not sold by SpencerTrilby	Aug 21st, 2008 10:38:00 AM
the action looks boring and headache-inducing. If I want to turn my brain completely off while watching cars chasing each others, I'll watch TV. Not only Anderson is a Hack Pack member, but his latest interview on CHUD made him sound like a completely clueless one. "The movie to beat" when it comes to car chases? At least Dr Boll's megalomania is of a funny kind. Anderson has not such a decency.
? by OJR	Aug 21st, 2008 10:40:28 AM
This forum is strange. No one seems to stay on the topic at hand.
It looks like a fucking moron-fest by PervOmatic	Aug 21st, 2008 10:41:48 AM
For inbred retards.
Did they kill the Sons of Anarchy? by Vic Twenty	Aug 21st, 2008 10:41:57 AM
Cuz I'd pay to see that.
General Crom: Agree 100% by Stuntcock Mike	Aug 21st, 2008 10:42:41 AM
I could see Statham about to fuck whats-her-name, then saying"just a moment", putting on the black glove and leather mask, then getting down to buisness.
Wait till it shows up on cable or dvd. by mrfan	Aug 21st, 2008 10:44:17 AM
Great review though.
Really by Lost4Words	Aug 21st, 2008 10:46:48 AM
What can you expect from a move with "Welcome to the Jungle" playing in the trailer...Looks like stupid fun.
The synopsis on my local theatre's website.... by Premiere Warlord Bush	Aug 21st, 2008 10:46:52 AM
... Says that the prison is on an island. So unless this is DEATH (BOAT) RACE the prison setting makes slightly more sense at least in the context of the movie.
Bingo....i reviewer who gets it by j2talk	Aug 21st, 2008 10:47:31 AM
there you go, finally a reviewer who gets what the movie was doing, this wasn't trying to be art....it is just what it set out to be a straight forward blood and guts action film...
Should have a DEATH RACE: SHRINERS UNITE. by mrfan	Aug 21st, 2008 10:50:14 AM
Love to see a race with those small cars and crazy guys.
Fuck Remakes by KillDozer	Aug 21st, 2008 10:50:23 AM

MICHAEL IRONSIDE IN T4 by chuffsterUK	Aug 21st, 2008 10:50:58 AM
TO PLAY GENERAL ASHDOWN-REMEMBER YOU READ IT HERE FIRST!(well,actually,you didn't,because AICN ingnored my e mail...)
Please tell me whether by Abominable Snowcone	Aug 21st, 2008 10:51:24 AM
at any time during the film, a convict-racer seeks shelter from an explosion by hiding in a refrigerator
no Abom, that would be plain ridiculous... by just pillow talk	Aug 21st, 2008 10:53:09 AM
However, said convict-racer manages to grab hold of a vine with monkeys on it and swing to safety.
Also, thanks for yet again... by KillDozer	Aug 21st, 2008 10:54:10 AM
telling Hollywood with your money that this is the kind of crap they should keep making. So now they're learning they don't even have to have a connection between the remake and the original film. They just need the same title and some slow motion breast bouncing. I can't wait to see what this means for the Poltergeist remake that's in the works.
I say we put Obama and McCain by just pillow talk	Aug 21st, 2008 10:54:51 AM
in a deathrace matchup. You can throw in some Congressmen as well to spice things up. Pay-per-view event, with proceeds going to shore up social security.
No nuke the fridge scene... by Kid Z	Aug 21st, 2008 10:55:53 AM
... but apparently, there's a guy who stands smirking in the middle of a race track claiming he's unkillable... before being immediately run over by a car he should've seen coming a mile away.
"Paul W.S. Anderson’s best film to date" by TVguy4566	Aug 21st, 2008 11:01:01 AM
The question is where that is a compliment or not. I ain't as bad "Uwe Boll's best film to date", but not much better. Boy, are you really sure? It would be hard to top a masterpiece like Alien Vs. Predator. Sorry, not to bust balls. But if you didn't want to tear out your eyeballs after watching this movie, this being Anderson's best movie to date is pretty much implied.
Can someone explain to me why... by HoboCode	Aug 21st, 2008 11:02:23 AM
the black box TB post subjects are invisible until scrolled over? Annoying.
Crouching Policeman, Flying Bodies by Harry Weinstein	Aug 21st, 2008 11:02:39 AM
"At the end of the film, our "heroes" kill dozens of cops in a fiery explosion/highway pile-up. We're supposed to root for this guy?" Sounds like the only good reason we're given to root for the guy. Cops are legally sanctioned thugs - until the so-called "good cops" that police apologists always like to trot out as an example do something about all those isolated "bad apples" that there seem to be so damn many of, I view them all the same - thugs. Watching them massacred in a film by the dozens offends me as much as watching gangsters get the same treatment.
Soundtrack Available on Intrada by Admiral Nelson	Aug 21st, 2008 11:14:55 AM
You can hear sound clips and buy the score CD from "Death Race" (music composed by Paul Haslinger, formerly of Tangerine Dream), exclusively at www.intrada.com.
I had absolutely no desire to see this movie by Darth Busey	Aug 21st, 2008 11:16:35 AM
until reading this review. This sounds pretty cool, now. Al fucking Swearengen playing Red from Shawshank? Fuck it, I'm in, cocksuckers.
Merrick by Darth Busey	Aug 21st, 2008 11:17:40 AM
Quit being a pussy, sir. You're not Ebert for chrissakes.
Jason Statham in Equilibrium 2 by Joker Gordon Levitt	Aug 21st, 2008 11:23:13 AM
"Oy con't feil nuffin'. No imotion, no feilin's, no nuffin. Oy'm a cold, hahd killin' machine and Iy got special moves wit' me gun kata. Betta watch out you Resistance muthafakas, Statham's comin'.
Rental by Forsakyn	Aug 21st, 2008 11:24:52 AM
Like all of Paul's flicks, this will fall under "rental." He's made one movie I really liked (Mortal Kombat), a number of braindead but passable action films, and one movie I absolutely hate (Event Horizon - I know some of you really like this, but I can't fathom why - just different opinions, I guess).
"Exploitation" doesn't exist anymore. by Knuckleduster	Aug 21st, 2008 11:26:46 AM
All this mainstream, post-modern shit simply doesn't count. It's too knowing; too tongue-in-cheek. It tries too fuckin hard. That said, I do like a good beer-and-buddies movie. Maybe I'll watch this. Maybe I'll just rent Commando.
Christ by Redundant23	Aug 21st, 2008 11:31:32 AM
Wake me when this remake shit is over.
Jason Statham in Mortal Kombat by Joker Gordon Levitt	Aug 21st, 2008 11:33:14 AM
"The graytest tournament in the world, eh? Oy'm in. Allz I need to win this thing is black pants and a can of Red-Boo cuz it gives you wings. Once oy get me wings it's ova. Oy'm demolishin' Louey Kang, Oy'm evisceratin' Sko'peon, and Sub-Zero? Ey's gonna look like Sub-Nuffin boy the toyme Oy'm done wif'im. Moy Animality is a bigga vehzhun of meself, coz Oy'm a bleedin' ANIMOO! Betta run away fast, Samsung, Statham's comin'.
PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNTT!!!! by Subtlety	Aug 21st, 2008 11:38:30 AM
Oh, wait... wha?
Jason Statham in Blade Runner by Joker Gordon Levitt	Aug 21st, 2008 11:42:48 AM
"No, Foah! Too, too, foah... And Noodles."
BTW, agree with Knuckleduster... by Subtlety	Aug 21st, 2008 11:47:46 AM
just because a film's stupid and bloody doesn't mean it gets the same pass as the old, great/terrible exploitation flicks. Those things were shot in a month, with a couple thousand bucks. So, when they came out with any redeeming qualities, even just enough of a storyline to keep one interested, they were a success. When they had a little subtext and a few pretty decent performances (as the original "Death Race" did) they could reach cult classic status. but come on, for many millions of dollars and plenty of time to write, shoot, and edit, these guys have got no excuse for turning in something lame and derivative. They had the resources, they were just lazy. Moreover, the one thing the truly great exploitation flicks share is they are NOT simply rip-offs... they pack all sorts of crazy ideas and ridiculous mumbo-jumbo into their narratives, the kind of thing they could NEVER get away with in mainstream films. Thats part of the reason they were so fun and yes, even necessary. Remakes of those films, however, are most certainly NOT necessary, especially ones which, by Massa's own admission, can't muster a single new idea. Sorry bud, but I aint sold.
Ian McShane deserves better. by fiester	Aug 21st, 2008 11:48:17 AM
I hope he got a fat payday out of this at least.
Event Horizon by Mr Gorilla	Aug 21st, 2008 11:50:15 AM
was scary in the cinema. but, sadly, rubbish on video.
Jason Statham in Planet of the Apes by Blue_Demon	Aug 21st, 2008 11:53:54 AM
"Tike yoh stinkin' pohs of me you fookin' c**t!"
Blue_Demon by chuffsterUK	Aug 21st, 2008 11:55:15 AM
Since when did Jason Statham talk like that.iIn fact,since when did any Englishman talk like that??
Jason Statham on Remakes by Joker Gordon Levitt	Aug 21st, 2008 11:55:20 AM
"The really coo fing abaot remekes izzat peepoo 'oo know nuffin' abaot the originoo could wotch the new one an' learn sumfin and get curious abaot the originoo. And the peepoo that know abaot the originoo wioo 'opefully go see the new one and put sum money in me pockets. Win win babay!! Better take a shawa hunny, Statham's comin'"
Twisted metal??!?! Try CARMAGEDDON! by Darth Macchio	Aug 21st, 2008 11:57:40 AM
Anyone ever play that old PC game? Ahh yes, so very dear to my heart! Only 3 ways to win: Pass each and every check point in order first. Destroy each and every opponent. Or kill every pedestrian on the map. How is that not the best "shoot em up" video game ever? Gonna dual boot my system so I can run W98 for playing Carmageddon 2 alone (no port for xp, etc)...
Jason Statham on Blue-Demon by Joker Gordon Levitt	Aug 21st, 2008 11:58:51 AM
"S'all royt mate, I loyke the word cunt. If oy was in that movie, I'd bang a buncha apes and staht an Ah-mee of Ape-Stathams. Oy'd probably want abaot elevenov'em so Oy can play rugby with 'em and 'ave poo parties. Ape-Stathams would roo! Get your 'ands on moy banana, bitch."
Joker Gordon Levitt by chuffsterUK	Aug 21st, 2008 12:01:23 PM
Same question I asked Blue_Demon-is your experience of cockney limited to Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins because I assure you,Statham does NOT talk like that...nor does ANY Englishman!
Jason Statham on chuffster by Joker Gordon Levitt	Aug 21st, 2008 12:06:37 PM
"Moy accent isn't really like a regulah englishman, because of owe the muscles Oym using to flex while Oy tolk. If you lissen very closely, you can hear me butt cheecks sweat. Hayta."
CAR WARS the movie by Cajunsblues	Aug 21st, 2008 12:06:55 PM
This should be great mindless fun. If you want a serious movie then go see I.O.U.S.A.
Sigh... by chuffsterUK	Aug 21st, 2008 12:08:03 PM
...
Jason Statham on Jason Statham by Joker Gordon Levitt	Aug 21st, 2008 12:08:21 PM
"Plus, Oy'm 80% moah raspy and gravely that the average Englishman. Who in tuhn is 20% less raspy than the average American. Oy loyke Shahks!
Soy by Joker Gordon Levitt	Aug 21st, 2008 12:08:48 PM

ACTORS WHO MUST BE SAVED FROM THEMSELVES by Subtlety	Aug 21st, 2008 12:10:22 PM
since Jason Statham, Ian McShane, and Joan Allen are all in this thing, I think this a good place to consider the list of Actors and Actresses who need to be saved from their own horrible career choices before they go direct-to-DVD for good (sorry, Vern...) I'd like to start the bidding with: 1: Michael Madsen. If there's an oscar for most roles phoned in (admittedly, typically in awful, awful crap) by a really great, charismatic actor, it should go to him. 2: Robert DiNero. Virtually every role since Wag the Dog has been a weak parody of a former classic role he played or, even worse, "Godsend." 3: Dwayne Johnson: After actually convincing us that he's a real, likable actor over a series of increasingly watchable films, what does he do with his newfound credability? "Walking Tall"... "Doom"..."Southland Tales"..."The Game Plan". Looks like its back to "The Rock" for awhile. That should get you started... now, its your turn.
Get it? You said Sigh... by Joker Gordon Levitt	Aug 21st, 2008 12:10:31 PM
...and Oy said "Soy", cuzzat's 'ow Jason Statham tolks. Loyke that.
Oh, and don't bother posting "Harrison Ford" by Subtlety	Aug 21st, 2008 12:11:09 PM
we know, OK? We know. And he knows too.
chuffsterUK, sorry bud...just kidding. by Blue_Demon	Aug 21st, 2008 12:15:29 PM
I'm on Guy Ritchie overdrive. I know the English accents are as varied (probably more) than American accents. I prefer Jeremy Irons' accent to most.
Joker Gordon Levitt, you owe me a new keyboard... by Blue_Demon	Aug 21st, 2008 12:17:07 PM
That "Soy" made me spit out my coke.
I've NEVER disliked Paul WS Anderson by Playkins	Aug 21st, 2008 12:17:32 PM
Mortal Kombat was fun enough, "Event Horizon" was GREAT. So, AVP was a bit of a letdown, but it wasn't as big of a clusterfuck as AVP:R.
ACTORS WHO MUST BE SAVED FROM THEMSELVES by fiester	Aug 21st, 2008 12:22:49 PM
Nick Cage - anyone remember when he was consider an actor? This guy has an Oscar remember. Billy Bob Thornton - another Oscar winning on a bad streak (though he did do "Bad Santa" and banged Angelina Jolie when she was at her hottest, so he will always be okay in my book). Brendan Fraser - soon to be competing with Dean Kane for direct-to-DVD and Sci-Fi channel movie-of-the-week roles. Kevin Costner - ouch.
Pantene Pro-V commercials on this site by Mr.Meanie	Aug 21st, 2008 12:28:31 PM
Seems like the advertisers aren't exactly hitting their target audience - considering most of the idiot posters here probably don't see shampoo in weeks, and then it's probably some sort of dandruff repellent. Nice one, guys...
Jason Statham on Pantene Pro V by Joker Gordon Levitt	Aug 21st, 2008 12:34:13 PM
"Its wonovme fayvritte shampoos. It conditions azzit cleans, so 'alf the work is done foahya. It leevs moy heah shoyny and smooth. Oll the laydees luvit, and Oy luv oll the laydees. Statham's coming."
oh yeah, forgot about Kevin Coster, fiester... by Subtlety	Aug 21st, 2008 12:34:22 PM
ouch is right.
Oy Demon... by Joker Gordon Levitt	Aug 21st, 2008 12:35:52 PM
Moy bad. I broke my own keyboahd once. I mistook it foah a neenja. Oy'll send you a Bist Boy Gift Cahd.
Costner was good in Mr Brooks by Joker Gordon Levitt	Aug 21st, 2008 12:37:22 PM
actually gave me chills. Cool creepy chills, not the "Omigod did you see his butt in Robin Hood" chills.
I agree re: The Rock by Joker Gordon Levitt	Aug 21st, 2008 12:41:09 PM
I really thought he was going to start some pedigree-level work. But NOOO, instead I saw him on Reno 911: Miami. Don't get me wrong, I love Reno 911, but the Rock has never, AND THE ROCK MEANS NEVER, really impressed me with his work. The Rock should be Bane. I know he's not S. American, but he's half Samoan, which is pretty close to Philippino, which is almost mexican, which is almost S. American.
The Rock by fiester	Aug 21st, 2008 12:57:40 PM
He was very compelling in The Rundown. I still think he has what it takes to be a top tier action star, but he has to commit to it and stop doing stupid kid comedies and artsy crap he is not suited for like Southland Tales. He needs to find the right action hero franchise and be the R-rated, physical badass with a sense of humor he has the potential to be. It's all about the script and the right director and just let him do his thing.
Rock v Predator by Joker Gordon Levitt	Aug 21st, 2008 12:59:13 PM
Please!!! Put it in the city with the Rock leading a team to hunt the Predator. Have it end on Predator homeworld with the Rock being hunted.
However bad this may end up being by Series7	Aug 21st, 2008 01:02:07 PM
Theres no way its going to be 1/4 as bad as The Rocker. Also add the dude from the Office as someone who's career choices need better direction, thats if you even give a shit about seeing him succeed. That goes for Dane Cook and Matthew MccAnahey as well.
Guilty Pleasures deserve their own category by veritasses	Aug 21st, 2008 01:08:48 PM
There are bad movies - such as any movie with the words "Traveling" and "Pants" in the title - and guilty pleasures. And yeah, I'd defend Krull and Battle Beyond the Stars too... plus Mortal Kombat which for whatever reason I find compelled to watch whenever it's on. Hey, as dumb as it is, at least MK has better fight scenes then TDK.
Blue_Demon by chuffsterUK	Aug 21st, 2008 01:31:51 PM
That's ok mate,just don't do it again you faaaaaaaking caaaaaaaant(now THAT'S cockney-lol,I am one!)
Ian McShane by skimn	Aug 21st, 2008 01:43:17 PM
At least this has to be better on his resume than Hot Rod. I know that flick has its defenders, sorry I'm not one. Maybe I'll have to rewatch it on 'shrooms or something to find it funny. Nothing beats The Road Warrior for vehicular destruction, even after all these years. So my question is...with all the "advances" in stunt devices, does Anderson cut and stage the stunts to make sense, or is a bunch of sound and fury signifying nothing?
Capt by skimn	Aug 21st, 2008 01:55:08 PM
Jolie is supposed to be Oscar bait in the new Eastwood flick...so, who knows? She does two for the money, one for the cred, and so on.
Holy shit, that was one of the longest reviews by Cash907	Aug 21st, 2008 01:59:48 PM
that actually managed to say the least about a the film it was reviewing, that I believe I have ever read. A high-brow review for a low-brow movie? What the hell Mas?
Speaking of Predator... by Garbageman33	Aug 21st, 2008 02:05:19 PM
Check out this Ratatat video done entirely with Predator clips (remove spaces). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =Fk8qcGOtBFw
At least Angelina Jolie has Changeling by NoodlesHahn	Aug 21st, 2008 02:11:15 PM
going for her. By all accounts that's a real movie. How about Forest Whitaker for the list? Vantage Point, Street Kings and The Air I Breathe aren't exactly actor's roles you follow an Oscar with.
Perfect Statham Accents by bottombrick	Aug 21st, 2008 02:12:11 PM
and hilarious too. Pass on this crap though, I'm not falling for it.
Transporter Versus Wheelman: A Fast and Furious Death Race by Spandau Belly	Aug 21st, 2008 02:13:20 PM
Bring that on! Vin and Statham can play two character each in a five way deathmatch!
Ian McShane-The Poor Man's Oliver Reed! by cookylamoo	Aug 21st, 2008 02:14:37 PM
Maybe. But it's Reed's fault for pissing away his own career.
Best line all summer... by Bob Parr	Aug 21st, 2008 02:17:15 PM
Then Uwe Boll showed up and showed us what it was really like to not give a shit about film.
I agree with the sentiment... by Dr Eric Vornoff	Aug 21st, 2008 02:22:36 PM
...of this review. I love a bit of mindless exploitation now and again. The problem is Anderson is a piss poor action director. Whatever fun there is will no doubt be undermined by his appalling camerawork and seemingly random ADD inflicted editing style. Ebert's review of this is hilarious, the opening paragraph maybe me spit out my tea (yes, I'm English).
Why do I think this review is better than the movie? by www.valiens.com	Aug 21st, 2008 02:25:29 PM
When you're on, you're on. Dude, this was hysterical. Thanks.
Do a GIS on Natalie Martinez by Riley Martin	Aug 21st, 2008 02:43:43 PM
And jerk off. I did!
Paul Anderson, king of the cinematic turds and guilty pleasures by fartedinthefaceofhollywood	Aug 21st, 2008 02:53:19 PM
Personally, i am NOT a big fan of Paul Anderson.....his movies are either unwatchable, insulting to the material (Resident Evil could have been SO much more), or guilty pleasures you watch alone while you get drunk. Mortal Kombat is a 13 year olds wet-dream of a movie full of (now) stupid techno music and (now) unimpressive fight scenes....but its a guilty pleasure, Event Horizon reminds of the last 20 mintues of Hellraiser Bloodline but extended by an hour and a half....and Hellraiser Bloodline sucked a whale dick buuut its guilty pleasure-y enough to warrant a watch every now and then. Soldier.....ahem, moving on....Resident Evil, hmmm nope not that one either....AVP, honestly it was watchable up until the Predator / Human team-up at the end (with them running side by side in a silohouette of WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT STUPID SHIT). Anyway, Deathrace looks like fun though....im a big fan of vehicular mahem in the spirit of Mad Max, Deathproof, and even the Twisted Metal videogames....so this movie should fall into the "guilty pleasure" category of his growing pile of shit movies he has under his tightly fastened belt (hes filling up fast).
Sho' Nuff' Shogun of Halem RIP by Amadeo Zeller	Aug 21st, 2008 02:54:59 PM
Julius Crary died from pancreatic cancer yesterday. Damn!
Anderson's films are shit... by rbatty024	Aug 21st, 2008 03:11:44 PM
but at least they're watchable shit. I agree that Mortal Kombat completely blew me away when I was twelve and that it's still fun to watch if you're drunk.
Harry Weinstein...fuck you by pdennett316	Aug 21st, 2008 03:20:53 PM
Next time you're walking down the street and some coked-up little fucker is trying to use your arse as a dartboard, I'm sure you won't call the police. Next time you're robbed...."Ah fuck it, take my stuff, the police are thugs". What a shit head. The only ones who whine about the police infringing their civil liberties are the fuckers doing illegal shit they don't want busted for. Are their assholes in the police force? Fuck yeah, but your very existence confirms the fact there are assholes in every line of work.
this will FUCKING SUCK by SpawnofAchilles	Aug 21st, 2008 03:49:02 PM
and if you are trying to convince yourself otherwise, well you're just not intelligent. And I watched Doomsday and enjoyed it because it was a decent premise with a good director PTAnderson gets worse with each movie, I think Event Horizon is awesome, other then that his stuff is shit, and I will never forgive him for fucking up resident evil on film...
One thing about Event Horizon! by cookylamoo	Aug 21st, 2008 03:49:31 PM
The black guys in the future still act like black guys. No Travis Mayweather bullshit.
Paul Anderson worse than Uwe Boll??? by fartedinthefaceofhollywood	Aug 21st, 2008 03:51:22 PM
maaaybe in some ways, but like i said....i can get drunk and watch Paul Andersons movies and enjoy them (for the most part)....if i get drunk and watch a Uwe Boll movie i might throw the bottle of Jack Daniels at the fucking TV in a drunken rage of "what the fuck is this shit".....actually, i DO kinda wanna see Postal though.
This is one of those... by Reckoner	Aug 21st, 2008 04:15:04 PM
where I will be watching at midnight after a huge cookout and 12 beers are ingested. Kick back in the recliner let my mind be numbed. Sounds good to me
Anderson - Bad Rap by Toonol	Aug 21st, 2008 04:55:27 PM
I agree. He gets a bad rap, when in reality he's no worse than a majority of working directors. Hell, Spielberg's done worse movies than Mortal Kombat. Anderson is just a fairly competent director, who tends to get sloppy.
Sounds like what GRINDHOUSE wanted to be by Mullah Omar	Aug 21st, 2008 05:53:39 PM
Trashy, sleazy, dumb fun. I want to see this.
Hey Wyrm... by clone-o-mat	Aug 21st, 2008 05:54:15 PM
How's it rate up against, say Triple X (another dumb, testosterone-driven spectacle)?
Clone-o-mat by Massawyrm 1	Aug 21st, 2008 06:00:17 PM
It's playing in that same league, except that it has a more 80's cool vibe.
I might see this by deanbarry	Aug 21st, 2008 06:57:28 PM
But if I have to clean my teeth that day, then I'm afraid I'll have to pass.
Popcorn-y goodness you say? by Rakafraker	Aug 21st, 2008 08:13:58 PM
I can watch Lawrence of Arabia if I want a classic, but sometimes I love to shut'er down and watch something that entertains my tribal instincts. This might be it. I thought Event Horizon could have been a lot better, but I liked Soldier quite a bit more. The AVPs were heart-breaking (Oh, how I loved the first graphic novel). I have only watched the first Resident Evil, so I can't comment on the rest, but, I thought it was alright to fall asleep to. Maybe one day I'll watch it again and have a better opinion, or maybe even give the following installments a chance. Wyrm, I love the cheese too. Don't be ashamed by dickwads that can't handle watching a train-wreck. I, myself, can't keep my eyes off of them (unless I pass out). I can always grab an Oscar-winner at the local vid-store to appease the handful of cells left in the old block.
Speaking of Solider... by successor	Aug 21st, 2008 09:07:53 PM
...anybody have the early draft by David Webb Peoples? Harry said it's supposed to be a lot better than the finished film. I'd like to read it myself and see. Email me at stapleton35@gmail.com for a trade.
BTW, here's my script list... by successor	Aug 21st, 2008 09:11:50 PM
http://tinyurl.com/69ch64
Half of Grindhouse was trashy, sleazy fun by JackRabbitSlim	Aug 21st, 2008 09:19:21 PM
Sadly that half was not Quentin Tarantino's. Say it ain't so, Q, say it ain't so! - Most self-delusional thing i heard last year - Mr Tarantino arguing the car chase scene in Death Proof was the greatest ever.
"easily Paul W.S. Anderson’s best film to date" by Aeghast	Aug 21st, 2008 09:35:17 PM
So.. you didn't like "Event Horizon", Massawyrm ?
Diesel by skani	Aug 21st, 2008 10:33:28 PM
Since someone's mentioned Vin Diesel, he should definitely be added to the list of actors teetering at the edge of the abyss. And I agree that Statham is just doing too much. Hasn't he had like 43 movies come out over the last two years, and everyone but Bank Job (which was okay but I thought kind of slow at parts) was forgettable.
Boll has a PHD? by thebearovingian	Aug 21st, 2008 11:21:33 PM
Player-Hater Degree. Win.
YEAH EVERYBODY! by Series7	Aug 21st, 2008 11:27:45 PM
Lets go down to the Alamo draft house!!! Ummmm the draft house I live near would be more appropriate would it not?
You Are Not A Salmon by Brody77	Aug 22nd, 2008 03:20:44 AM
Have a break, but no kit-kit Mr Statham, you haven't earned it.
kit kat even by Brody77	Aug 22nd, 2008 03:21:05 AM
Dammit.
Difference between Massa an Harry reviews by GenreBoy	Aug 22nd, 2008 03:59:27 AM
Firstly...It didnt start off with Massa waxing nostalgic about stallone, cars, or how the original was making a statemet for it's day and how inferior this is to the original. What Massa does do is tell you whats up. Good or Bad. This is a movie that doesnt need a context, subtext, subtle-meanings or pretentious bullshit social statements.This is a movie with explosions, mini-guns on the hoods of cars,and big-titty women. And you know what. Thats all i needed to hear and i'll see this with friends and be drunk while watching it. While alot of sad film-hating assholes up here curl up to their bobba fett and Yoda throw pillows and continue to cry over the death of their childhood all the while being in their 20's-30's. Thanks for always keeping it honest Massa.
Is it bad... by staticneuron	Aug 22nd, 2008 06:37:45 AM
that I actually liked the film Soldier?
Soldier by bigj1124	Aug 22nd, 2008 07:58:20 AM
Why is Anderson so hated in these talkbacks?? I LOVE SOLDIER, I like Event Horizon infact I like the majority of his work, its just escapist fun!!!
Memories-Of-Murder by Mr. Nice Gaius	Aug 22nd, 2008 09:22:12 AM
Dude, I love how you just hate on movies you haven't seen yet. You detest certain filmmakers and fill TBs with endless hate-filled rants about said filmmakers and then you chastise Talkbackers who may be entertained by their films. You seem perfectly willing to turn your brain off for flicks like COMMANDO and yet you bitch at everyone and call them "apologists" for doing the same thing to something else. Who gives a shit! BTW - We all love THE DARK KNIGHT. You're not winning any brownie points with that token statement. And as much as we all admire his work, please quit sucking on Nolan's cock.
bigj1124 by Mr. Nice Gaius	Aug 22nd, 2008 09:25:16 AM
People like M-0-M don't understand escapist fun; they think it equals apologism. Meanwhile, they're much more interested in appearing as some sort of credited cinema elitist. Can you say, "poseur"?
bigj1124 by just pillow talk	Aug 22nd, 2008 09:28:39 AM
The CoC is built upon manliness and campy movies. Kurt is viewed very highly by the CoC. The doors are always open to those that find particular joy in shitty movies. M-O-M, why so serious?
Memories-Of-Murder by Mr. Nice Gaius	Aug 22nd, 2008 11:20:48 AM
Ah, but what you don't understand is how a piece of shit can also be escapist fun. And even if you do, you certainly won't cop to it.
Re:M-o-M by skimn	Aug 22nd, 2008 12:25:20 PM
The dude likes Lifeforce and has defended Peter Hyams to me on this site..so despite his high falutin' attitude, I get his point.
WTF??? Peter Hyams by fartedinthefaceofhollywood	Aug 22nd, 2008 04:41:08 PM
the director of Time Cop, The Relic, and End of Days???....oh my god....ALL three of those fall into the "guilty pleasure" category.....except for End of Days, that was (one of) the most over-rated pieces of Hollywood "WTF!!!" shit to drop in theaters....all this hype surrounding it, only to fail fail fail.
Re:Hyams by skimn	Aug 22nd, 2008 05:03:27 PM
And yet he has also directed Running Scared, a white cop/black cop/buddy action comedy, a year before Lethal Weapon, that showed some nice chemistry between the leads. And so-close-to-being-real good 2010. He had the actors, the effects (Lithgow's spacewalk was very well done), but none of the magic or vision or poetry of the original. Of course, then again, we are talking Hyams..
And yes... by skimn	Aug 22nd, 2008 05:06:34 PM
M-o-M defended the work of Peter Hyams..so, go figure.
Hi, Everyone. My name's Skani, and... by skani	Aug 22nd, 2008 06:33:24 PM
I found AVP moderately entertaining.
Skani, Welcome to by skimn	Aug 22nd, 2008 06:55:43 PM
Anderson Anonymous...get your newcomer chip at the door.
hey, skimm, by skani	Aug 22nd, 2008 06:59:31 PM
thanks. thanks. (awkwardly nodding, voice cracking)
you know what's funny? by the milf lover	Aug 23rd, 2008 06:28:38 PM
all these people mentioning Vin Diesel/Fast and the Furious... before Death Race they showed a trailer for the new Fast And Furious movie coming out in '09 that reunites Vin, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez and Jordana Brewster... And I enjoyed the hell out of Death Race, Massa got it right, its total trash and its proud of it! Next week coincidentally is Vin Diesel in Babylon AD...

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