I mean, I defended Soldier, I even defended the trailer for this because some hypocritical folks who bitch to no end about CGI refused to admit that at least the trailer looked like good ol' practical FX... but that clip pulled me down to earth for good. Not that I intended to see a mongoloid retread of Paul Bartel's classic.

death race has a point system for people getting mowed down.

death race has ridiculous amounts of glorious murder.

this has joan allen.

Keep supporting the slop, you bottom feeding prick.

They shot that with 20mph and then added Mr. Shaky Cam and quick cuts to make it look like a "race" at 90mph. Hilarious!

Hmm...let me guess, they then destroy the big truck and win the race, offing that smug blonde tart in the process.

There, I've saved you all the need to see it - aren't I a star?

We're all on the same page there - we could forge world peace on that pretext.

But - I got a theory. No, no, just hear me out. I've noticed that Anderson is, from appearances, about 12 years old, a fine reason for him being not only an insult to even hacks like Boll, but for him being completely incapable of holding a cogent conversation, from what I've seen in his interviews...

So while his movies suck the shit out of a dead slug's asshole, lick the residue off their lips ecstatically and ask for more, we at least must pay respect to the likelihood that Anderson is clearly part of some charitable after school programme. He's living in some sort of cocooned, cossetted hyper reality where where his movies are 'enjoyable popcorn fun' and not, in actual reality, festering troughs of eel smegma.

And let's face it, what of you or I, or any other Joe Shlub who masturubates compulsively over whether or not a sonar phone is technically feasible? What if WE tried getting behind a movie camera, could we really come up with better? (We'll never know, because we don't have the won ton to get out there and face freighter-loads of rejection before, when we're 58, some gullible asshat at Sci-Channel or The Asylum takes a punt on our pathetic slushpile-dwelling spec script about some time travelling cyborg driving instructor or something.

So while it's true Anderson's movies make 'The Hottie and the Nottie' look like a smoothie blended from Aliens, The Empire Strikes Back and Citizen Kane, he's still out there, doing his thing, and getting paid for it, while we, the talkbacking masses, are all... still, frankly... here. *PoS Anderson, on his 3/4 of a second coffee break, reads this post and a tear rolls down his cheek - he prays for our souls, then forgets all about us and gets on with doing what he loves -ie making shit movies, perhaps a spot squash and cross-training, and spending quaility time with friends and family, etc*

All the way back to SHOPPING, this has been the case - without exception.

btw well-constructed car chase scenes DO make a good movie - and that movie was called The Cannonball Run

All the way back to SHOPPING, this has been the case - without exception.

btw well-constructed car chase scenes DO make a good movie - and that movie was called The Cannonball Run

Galva - I'm TOTALLY with you - not only should films that are NOT classics be the ones getting the remake treatment, I would LOVE for Krull to be at the top of that list!

And Ghostball, I don't want to make movies. I want to watch good movies. Something that will only get easier once the careers of the hacks that made this film shrivel up and blow away.

And why would he pray for our souls just because we don't like his movie? Actually, don't answer that. I don't really care what you were thinking.

As far as FINDING FORRESTER is concerned, I never said I liked that film. You, however, are on record defending that hack Paul W.S. Anderson for releasing garbage like "Death Race." I find it odd that someone so concerned with cinematic credibility would align himself with the personification of all that is wrong with Hollywood. But what do I know, I'm just an "insipid pillow-biter" (really?).

Keep slinging the shit, El Mono. After all, you insist on rooting in it...