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I am the only human being on the planet....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 4th, 2008
05:02:26 PM
...excited for Starship Troopers 3.
The first Starship Troopers is one of my guilty pleasures
by Kneprock
Aug 4th, 2008
05:05:55 PM
They showed the ST3 "trailer" during the pre-trailers...
by MCVamp
Aug 4th, 2008
05:07:14 PM
At the movie theater. I was struck by how it almost looked like a parody of the first movie, which is quite a feat. Vern, I probably got more entertainment out of your reviews than either of these movies, so thanks for that, I guess...I'll be skipping ST3 and maybe catch the other one on Cinemax2 or something.
There was a Starship Troopers TWO?
by Squashua
Aug 4th, 2008
05:08:28 PM
I'll admit, I knew of it. I'm just asking what others will inevitably ask.
Starship Troopers 3...
by Holeman
Aug 4th, 2008
05:16:08 PM
is one of the worst fucking pieces of shit I've ever seen in my life. If this movie was a person, your dog's asshole would be bleeding when it left your home. That's how bad it is.
I Still Can't Get Past...
by Rogue Planet
Aug 4th, 2008
05:16:13 PM
...a bit I saw on HowItShouldHaveEnded.com where they parodied the original film briefly in a mention that the best way to fight giant alien bugs is with an army of "soap opera stars." Sums it up nicely, dontchathink. However, that said, I'm with you...I think the original film was eager, earnest, doofy fun - an almost subsersively obvious parody of the old mid-20th-Century propaganda movies and war films. Of course, they had better effects and were overall more believable, but the dialogue certainly hadn't improved any. Still, it worked for what it was. Sequels? Not looking forward to them. I never saw the second film, but the third's trailer was everywhere when I went to see Dark Knight. Casper Van Dien has sort of become like McG - thy very name is a punchline. Deserved or undeserved, the only movie I ever saw him turn in a decent performance in was Sleepy Hollow. Otherwise, he's just pretty, blond, and tall, and he can remember dialogue. That's...about it. Probably a nice guy otherwise, but I'm not going to pay money to see a film just because he's in it. (Though, as I said, the first Troopers movie was okay.) I probably shouldn't bash on Van Dien so much, because he's probably an okay sort, but...like McG...it's so easy to do. Of course, I relented on McG after his Terminator plea, so maybe I should lighten up on Casper. He seems like such a friendly soap opera star, after all.
Uno
by Bricktops hammer
Aug 4th, 2008
05:16:52 PM
Finally!
by kungfuhustler84
Aug 4th, 2008
05:20:13 PM
Thanks Vern. I'll check them out as soon as I can. Great reviews.
I'm looking forward to this
by Hikaru Ichijo
Aug 4th, 2008
05:22:24 PM
and I had no problem with part two. A bad sequel beats the best reimagining any day.
Vern, can't read all that right now, but...
by Shermdawg
Aug 4th, 2008
05:23:29 PM
...is there a shower scene and does Miss Blalock show da goods?
After Starship Troopers sank ant the B.O.-
by Playkins
Aug 4th, 2008
05:24:50 PM
It was fairly obvious it would never get a good sequel. I actually enjoyed the forst one. It was cheesy, guilty fun that made fun of it's audience. The CG show was a lot closer to the Heinlein novel, though.
I dont get why Starship 1 has to be a "GUILTY PLEASURE"
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 4th, 2008
05:30:11 PM
What a way to pussy foot around a bad ass action film. The CG and action destroy nearly any action film of today. Its got a bad ass rousing original score, and smokin' hot chicks blasting giant fucking bugs. Grow some fuckin' balls and hold that classic up high and proud.

Fuck.

So uh...Jolene Blalock is NOT naked?
by BrowncoatJedi
Aug 4th, 2008
05:30:14 PM
Too bad. Pass.
DGDB
by Mattyboy122
Aug 4th, 2008
05:33:45 PM
I don't get why the first flick is a guilty pleasure, either. It's satire, baby! Plus it's got some awesome action, to boot, some T & A (like all Verhoeven) and, you're right, a kick-ass score.
STARSHIP TROOPERS 4: THE RISE OF DIX
by Mullah Omar
Aug 4th, 2008
05:34:05 PM
This is crying out for prequel treatment.
Starship Troopers...
by DocPazuzu
Aug 4th, 2008
05:37:09 PM
...is sheer genius. You get kick-ass carnage, titties, space battles, gore and not least of all, razor-sharp satire. How often can you say you've seen a movie that can combine all those things to the point where you actually are having your cake and eating it too?

No guilt there at all. I fucking LOVE Starship Troopers and for every single one of the reasons I just mentioned.

Mattyboy122 and DocPazuzu = REAL MEN WITH GIANT PACKAGES
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 4th, 2008
05:39:15 PM
Vern i'm surprised you didn't mention the JFK Jr reference
by Holodigm
Aug 4th, 2008
05:39:15 PM
i liked the movie about the same as you did, but i thought the shot at the end mimicking junior was near brilliance. anyway. for people who really liked the satire of the first one, Marauder is worth a look. at the very least, it's nowhere near as bad as part 2.
Wolf Creek was solid, Rogue looks good
by Derek Wildstarr
Aug 4th, 2008
05:40:16 PM
You rock Vern
by theguyfromfresno
Aug 4th, 2008
05:48:28 PM
Know what I'm saying? Love, Dix
The funniest thing...
by DocPazuzu
Aug 4th, 2008
05:48:50 PM
...about ST is that it seems that the actors themselves don't realize that they're being the butt of the joke. If you've watched the extras on the DVD and seen how wooden Van Dien and Richards are, and remember how earnest and serious Van Dien was during the promotion of the film, it's even funnier. These days he pretends that he knew all along what was going on, but I don't believe him for an instant. If there were any actors in on the joke, it was Clancy Brown and Michael Ironside.
I agree with BrowncoatJedi...
by LabattsBleu
Aug 4th, 2008
05:49:48 PM
Only the appearance of Jolene's twins could have made this 'must see'...
Mullah:
by theguyfromfresno
Aug 4th, 2008
05:49:48 PM
"Starship Troopers 4: Dix Rising" would be better.
Vern made the best quote ever...
by Heckles
Aug 4th, 2008
05:51:04 PM
(Regarding Casper Van Dien) "In my opinion he is not Marlon Brando or Laurence Olivier". You f'n sure their, buddy? I mean between acting ability, body of work, popularity, how can you truly tell the difference? Heh. Man, that cracked me up. Starship Trooper 3 could be a 6-panel cartoon on the back of a damn Coca Puffs box. This review was probably longer than the plot outline. Too funny.
Jolene Blalock..too hot to be taken seriously.
by conspiracy
Aug 4th, 2008
05:58:00 PM
It's true..you can't look like that girl and have a career as an A-list actress..even if she had the acting chops. Plus by her own admission she's a bit of a scifi geek...ok..I must go masturbate now.
Neil Patrick Harris
by Anakin Whoopass
Aug 4th, 2008
05:58:12 PM
There's some dialog about Starship Troopers between Rob Corddry's character and Neil Patrick Harris's "Neil Patrick Harris" in the latest Harold & Kumar which is worth a chuckle. Apparently the DTV ST's can only afford one original cast member at a time.
Starship Troopers 3 was pretty cool
by photoboy
Aug 4th, 2008
06:02:23 PM
I think the main failure was the lack of Jolene Blalock nudity (and the blonde religious chick who was with her). A bit like the first Starship Troopers where we should have had some Denise Richards nudity.
Rogue was a great monster flick
by bongo123
Aug 4th, 2008
06:05:36 PM
nuff said
Will Gibson died!?!?
by Joey17
Aug 4th, 2008
06:05:38 PM
Fuck! Im australian and I didnt even know. Just lost a potentially brilliant cine.
All Dix stand at attention!
by sott68
Aug 4th, 2008
06:11:13 PM
nice review
by chipps
Aug 4th, 2008
06:11:51 PM
Christian God wins! Bug god loses! Ha take that bug god.

oh yeah 21 feet

I watched Starship Troopers 2 a while back...
by Alonzo Mosely
Aug 4th, 2008
06:14:05 PM
and the only thing, I mean the only thing, I remember about it is that the chick from Nip/Tuck was naked in it. A lot. The 'A Lot' is both accurate and a postmodern shout out to Vern.
Starship Troopers great action film?
by bottombrick
Aug 4th, 2008
06:18:25 PM
ST is a "guilty pleasure" cause its a joke, Doogie Hauser in SS getup and soap opera actors in war propaganda mode. As far as action is concerned Verhoeven had just came off Total Recall and Robocop, troopers is definitely more Showgirls era Verhoeven. In fact, the switch from pratical effects with digital backing it up to the mostly digital crap on display here is probably the best indication of why great action movies died.
It's Cocoa Puffs
by Heckles
Aug 4th, 2008
06:18:44 PM
I spell funny.
DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD, Mysterious Yobo:
by Playkins
Aug 4th, 2008
06:22:55 PM
Guilty pleasure because by all rights and examination it's a really silly movie that isn't particularly profound or well-done.

Don't act like an elitist because you think you "get it" more than someone else.

Yes, I get it. The joke is on the audience. We're cheering for Nazis. I "got it" when it was made obvious ten minutes into the film. I got it more when I read the book. 10 years before the movie came out.

Doesn't change the fact that I wouldn't bring this movie up during a thoughtful film discussion. It's kitsch. It's low-level satire. It's also fun.

Some good shit on the Dimension Extreme label
by Cannabis Holocaust
Aug 4th, 2008
06:24:10 PM
Diary of the Dead, Teeth, Inside, Black Sheep, etc. Hey I said "good", not "great".
Playkins
by DocPazuzu
Aug 4th, 2008
06:26:37 PM
You sound oddly resentful.
bottombrick=
by DocPazuzu
Aug 4th, 2008
06:27:36 PM
fail.
ST2 was honestly really quite
by Teddy Artery
Aug 4th, 2008
06:28:06 PM
...bad.
oh go fuck yourself Playkins
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 4th, 2008
06:29:26 PM
If anyone is sounding like an elitist twat, it is you. By all rights and examinations it is an extremely well made action film. There is a deeper meaning there, sure-- but I am stating my love for this film for what it is on the surface-- FUN.

I'm sorry you wouldn't dare bring this up during a thoughtful film discussion. And I am very sorry you sound like Memories of Murder's gay brother.

Now fuck off and die sir. Goodnight.

Casper Van Dien
by fiester
Aug 4th, 2008
06:33:07 PM
I'm always baffled how certain people go the D-list, Sci-Fi MOW route while other actors go on to get regular work of big budget flicks despite being terrible. In no way is Shia LeBouf any better or more talented an actor than Casper Van Dien--and Casper Van Dien sucks ass! I don't get it.
theguyfromfresno
by Mullah Omar
Aug 4th, 2008
06:37:36 PM
I concede - that is an even better title.
casper van dien > chuck norris
by chipps
Aug 4th, 2008
06:40:54 PM
still haven't seen rogue. wanna. I think there should be a movie about dingos. Yeah. A seventh day adventists church group goes for a holiday on frasier island then suddenly the babies start to go missing. Well, that's it. Hell for me.
Rogue
by macheesmo3
Aug 4th, 2008
06:55:40 PM
was thwarted by that Orlando Jones Crocodile movie .( title escapes me ) Primeval? It seems like Dimension lost it's balls when the first one came out and did shite bidness so they put it out to pasture until dvd time .. Shame really , but what do you expect from those two clowns .
Was wondering about Rogue, had heard good things
by Stormwatcher
Aug 4th, 2008
07:09:11 PM
This cements a rental. Do wish they'd do a proper StarShip Troopers using stuff left out from the book. True on the bounce battle suits and Skinnies.
The thing about Wolf Creek
by SirFlibble
Aug 4th, 2008
07:15:26 PM
it was based on a real life event. For us Australians who were hammered by the media with this story for months, it was a lot more scary as it wasn't as fictional to us. Many of us have been in the outback and know how empty it is so for something like that to happen if one of the scariest things.
Wasn't the joke on Heinlein?
by SpencerTrilby
Aug 4th, 2008
07:21:27 PM
I remember reading the book and thought it was surprisingly un-ironic. It read like a right-wing sci-fi epic (not that there's anything inherently wrong with that) but I always thought the movie was more a (good) parody of the book than an adaptation per se. Maybe I was too young to get the more subtle satire on written form, IDK... But even the "dedicated to" at the beginning smelled gung ho if memory serves.
joanne lees did it!
by chipps
Aug 4th, 2008
07:22:14 PM
not really, i can't back that up at all

yeah, the thing about wolf creek (which i'm huge on but it was ok) is that in oz there really are these little communities, many of them dieing and they are like traveling into a different world. Most of them are really great salt of the earth types but it is a bit like texas chainsaw massacre or whatever, you get off the main road and you could be anywhere. The difference is that the desolate parts of oz are seriously big. Oz is the size of the us, but has like 5 cities, all around the edge of it. Imagine driving from the east coast to the west coast and hardly seeing a single person the whole time. australia is like that

Casper Van Dein
by liljuniorbrown
Aug 4th, 2008
07:26:54 PM
You have to admit,the dude will just go there won't he? Got a movie that needs a lead and Dolph Lundgren is avoiding it like herpes? Then call the Van Dein. Come to think of it,he needs to play Dolphs son in a movie, he looks like the guy alot. We need a kick ass sci fi version of Inglorius Bastards starring Micheal Pare,Casper Van Dein,Brad Johnson, Sean Micheal Flaherty....who am i leaving out?
needs more oleg!
by ironic_name
Aug 4th, 2008
07:40:57 PM
DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD, DocPazuzu:
by Playkins
Aug 4th, 2008
07:47:55 PM
DICKBLOOD:

Lick me. Lick me raw. Doc:

I am "oddly resentful" because Verhoven butchered my favorite book of all time. What could have been an amazing sci-fi drama turned into an epic-budget B-movie.

I'm still holding out hope that we'll see a miniseries of the book done right. Which will never happen, unfortunately.

Yeah, Verhoven: "Kill 'Em All". "We'll Keep Fighting"... and all that bullshit. Blahblahblah.

Oh, and DICKBLOOD:
by Playkins
Aug 4th, 2008
07:50:13 PM
You're just wrong. It's not even my opinion. Just so wrong, about everything.
CHECK THIS OUT
by landster
Aug 4th, 2008
08:01:47 PM
Hey guys not hearing to much on this.. http://tinyurl.com/55zl54
i dont understand guilty pleasures
by Bouncy X
Aug 4th, 2008
08:05:03 PM
if you liked it, why do you have to feel guilty about it? who cares if you're one of a few or possibly literally the only person who likes the movie or show or music or artist or whatever...if you like it then you do. there's nothing to feel guilty about.
"The only good bug is a dead bug"
by Liquid Meddle
Aug 4th, 2008
08:05:41 PM
So um.. Can we let this series rest in piece now? I loved the first movie and I wish I could erase my memories of the second one.
Judge Dredd is one of my guilty pleasures.
by Liquid Meddle
Aug 4th, 2008
08:07:14 PM
I'm ready to die.
Rogue is terrific
by BauerJackBauer
Aug 4th, 2008
08:22:42 PM
It figures that this movie barely got released. It's too good for most ignorant cocksuckers.
vern resorts to 'dix' jokes
by BurgerKing
Aug 4th, 2008
08:29:48 PM
ST and rogue
by Dodgy
Aug 4th, 2008
09:24:18 PM
I went with my mates to see ST at the flicks and I laughed my head off while they sat silent. They really didn't get it. Bizarre. The thing that made me laugh was the gung ho idiots got their butts kicked twice during the movie, and right at the end they say they're going to kick butt. And then the movie stops. And I couldn't help thinking they got their butts handed to them again. Anyway, caught Rogue too, and it was a very well done movie. It took you by surprise, and the Character flip Vern mentions worked for me, as the guy was a jerk when there was no danger, but sobered up when there was, making him a lot more human than you're normal horror jerk .
eggsalad
by chipps
Aug 4th, 2008
09:42:29 PM
very strange person
I fucking love Starship Troopers...
by Billyeveryteen
Aug 4th, 2008
09:54:17 PM
Wish I could unwatch ST2 tho'.

Thank god I will never be in a "thoughtful film discussion" with Playkins. What a joy-draining twat.

Why do farts smell worse in the shower?
by TheBloop
Aug 4th, 2008
09:58:23 PM
At least they do to me. Why is that?
Big Titty Bangers 3 is my guilty pleasure.
by Felix_Happer
Aug 4th, 2008
10:01:46 PM
Granted, the CG isn't as good as the first two. Just sayin.
I DON'T REMEMBER TITTIES IN ST 1
by BringingSexyBack
Aug 4th, 2008
10:13:03 PM
Were they Denise's?
I NEVER GOT HOW THOSE BUGS COULD SPIT PLASMA
by BringingSexyBack
Aug 4th, 2008
10:15:36 PM
all the way to Earth. Was that scientifically explained in the book?
You know what sucks about the first Starship Troopers?
by Jackie Boy
Aug 4th, 2008
10:17:42 PM
Nothing.
the only thing that ST 1 lacked
by Xiphos_2
Aug 4th, 2008
10:24:15 PM
Was the Battle armour and the individual drop craft. Other then that ST 1 was a fun movie.
"and Dolph Lundgren is avoiding it like herpes"
by the milf lover
Aug 4th, 2008
10:25:37 PM
hahaha funniest quote of the day!!
XIPHOS!
by BringingSexyBack
Aug 4th, 2008
10:25:49 PM
Hey there!
BSB
by Xiphos_2
Aug 4th, 2008
10:30:59 PM
Hello
I loved the first starship troopers loved it
by skiff
Aug 4th, 2008
11:12:52 PM
I saw it in the theatre and I bought every version on dvd. I even bought the second one on dvd though I could only bring myself to watch it twice. I have seen the 3 one online even though it was not as good as the first one I will still buy it on bluray.
Vern wtf?
by Prossor
Aug 4th, 2008
11:29:10 PM
didnt you know kill switch came out? or did you review that sometime ago? anyway ruslan is our last hope for the ponytailed one's theatrical revival.
I'd like to see...
by codymr
Aug 4th, 2008
11:34:01 PM
A more faithful version put on film. Reboot the series and do a Batman Begins/Dark Knight on the material. Loved Heinlein's original story... It was WAY ahead of it's time.
first Starship Troopers had titties
by Rupee88
Aug 4th, 2008
11:36:25 PM
that coed shower scene was hot and the only thing I really remember about that movie.
Billyeveryteen:
by Playkins
Aug 4th, 2008
11:41:32 PM
I'm quite glad I won't confab with you, either.

I'm not a wrestling fan and I don't eat fried food, so we'd probably have nothing in common.

BSB
by Gilkuliehe
Aug 4th, 2008
11:48:50 PM
No, they weren't. They were Dina Meyer's, I believe. Oh and some ass in the co ed shower. The fact that they weren't Denisse's suck big Dix.

Oh and Australian guy, I thought the "based on real events" thing in Wolf Creek was kind of cheating, wasn't it? I mean, the killer wasn't caught or anything, it was just "People have gone missing in Australia" = "Based on a true story". Yes? No? Anyway, I remember Vern bitching about this.

"Midnight Meat Trained" is now officially part of the film indus
by Bob of the Shire
Aug 4th, 2008
11:51:34 PM
And I'll rent Rogue on your reccomendation.
I JUST FIGURED IT OUT:
by Playkins
Aug 4th, 2008
11:54:13 PM
Probably half the people praising Starship Troopers as a masterpiece were too young to see it the first time around. I READ Starship Troopers when I was 12- probably about the age most of you were when the movie came out. Jeezus, it was 11 years ago, wasn't it. Damn, I'm an old fucker. No wonder people are accusing me of being pompous.
"my favorite book of all time"
by Billyeveryteen
Aug 4th, 2008
11:55:08 PM
Good lord, READ MORE.

You pretentious douche.

Starship Troopers and Point Break!!
by Redfive!
Aug 4th, 2008
11:57:04 PM
No better guilty pleasures on this plant then those 2 flicks.
BSB
by _SnakePlissken_
Aug 4th, 2008
11:58:51 PM
The movie stole different things from several events.. there has been many killers from the outback, something about the isolation sends alot of people nuts, and there was The Hitchhiker killer Ivan Milat ( Who use to do head on a stick btw)
ST was Shit. Period.
by victor82
Aug 5th, 2008
12:20:11 AM
Verhoeven decided to satirize Heinlein. Needed an actor who was tired of waiting tables on Robinson Street: Van Dien. Satirizing Troopers as Nazi fare was too easy, so Verhoeven went ahead and did it.
Victor82 has poor taste. Period.
by Gilkuliehe
Aug 5th, 2008
12:29:15 AM
Give 3 a shot, man. Maybe you'll enjoy Dix.
Did Ice Cube come back for the Anaconda Sequel?
by The Eskimo
Aug 5th, 2008
12:34:00 AM
I'm pretty sure Voight and J-Lo did not?
Oh, and enough with the giant Croc movies...
by The Eskimo
Aug 5th, 2008
12:35:31 AM
...for Christ's sake! I can think of four off the top of my head, all bombs! (PS- Props to whoever can think of a fifth w/out Googling it!)
Gonna argue some more about Starship Troopers
by bottombrick
Aug 5th, 2008
12:47:25 AM
So the term "guilty pleasure" should never be used in this context; its faggoty. The distinction is this is a fun movie that is campy and delivers the goods in a few places and is being called a Great Action Movie, and that is bullshit. If you can honestly say to me with a straight face that Starship Troopers is in league with Total Recall or Robocop, then you are Satan/a moron. Fuck its not even in the same galaxy as Point Break, which I just heard it lumped in with. Aside from a couple of pieces of awesome delivered by Richter and career sergeant Zim, the soap opera action sets are Showgirls in space. I'll concede the nuclear slam dunk and the brain bug as being pretty cool, but still a film geek with taste wouldn't have this in his top 50 / 100, or even in the top 5 Verhoeven movies.
Jolene Blalock has become DVD Angelina Jolie
by thevision
Aug 5th, 2008
12:51:22 AM
Jolene has always reminded me of Angelina- same facial structure, same lips; check IMDB and they were born in 1975. I agree with the poster who wrote how some actors are stuck doing DVD and those Saturday afternoon Sci-Fi channel flicks while others-with similar or less appeal-go on to the A-List...different paths chosen and Jolene would be on the cover of People Magazine with Brad & babies and Angelina reuniting with Elias Koteas in CYBORG 3! I've always thought Jolene was underrated and was the best thing in that piece of shit SLOW BURN. If Nolan makes Batman 3 with Catwoman and can't get Angelina to do it-like LA Times suggested- I think Jolene would be great- check out the mask scene in SLOW BURN.
o.k
by chipps
Aug 5th, 2008
12:52:07 AM
i didn't google so the names i'm not great with, there is that old aussie one in the doco 'not quite hollywood' lake placid, rogue, blackwater, there is james bond movie where he runs across the crocs, and tobe hoopers follow up to massacre with the gators (of course in comedy there is three croc dundee movies and steve irwin's movie.
Billyeveryteen:
by Playkins
Aug 5th, 2008
12:53:14 AM
And exactly what's pretentious about having a favorite book? Did you somehow interpret that as the only book I've read? You "fucking love" Starship Troopers. Does that mean you haven't seen any other movies?

I guess the fact that my favorite book isn't "Harry Potter" or "Da Vinci Code" offended your high-brow taste.

You want to compare reading lists you little twat? Go right ahead

Hey Vern, take a rest.
by otm shank
Aug 5th, 2008
12:57:00 AM
You must be tired from running that Dix joke around the track eight times. Great review as always.
If you say that Total Recall is in the same category as Robocop
by The Eskimo
Aug 5th, 2008
01:00:11 AM
...Satan/A moron or whatever. TR was a clever, face paced action movie with good plot twists and an overall great story. Unfortunately, like many great 80s/90s movies, it is dated and doesn't hold up. Robocop on the other hand, (if all of you poeple so obsessed with this shit movie)would go back and watch it again, is nothing more than an R rated flick marketed to the 80's tweener crowd who got off on grotiouitesque (sp?) violence and hearing the F-bomp dropped a few hundred times. It was a shit movie with shit acting and even shittier direction. This is why the RC sequel will bomb and the TR sequel will never be made (cause they can't!) Oh, and just take the title for example: "ROBO" Cop...I mean, it's lame. Do they even really make robots anymore. I thought Brent Spiner raised the bar on the whole robot-hero idea with STNG.
all this is cracking me up
by Playkins
Aug 5th, 2008
01:11:05 AM
Everyone is commanding respect for a film that they're calling a "fun action movie that delivers the goods". This sucker was almost universally slammed when it came out, ESPECIALLY on AICN. You guys are glorifying an overbudget, underperforming chocolate-covered turd. Don't pretend "Starship Troopers" is some kind of masterpiece.
Danny Glover and his Dick Blood...
by Harold-Sherbort
Aug 5th, 2008
01:11:49 AM
My god is Judd Apatow in love with you. He brought you up on CONAN tonight!!! Between that and the comic con thing, fuck, I think he might have some man love for ya!!!
"Doesn't hold up"
by bottombrick
Aug 5th, 2008
01:27:02 AM
Doesn't hold up to what? the crappy cg action shitfests they make now? are you smoking crack? Total Recall will always be one of the greatest action movies of all time. If I can't convince you of that than the human race has failed you.
He probably IS Apatow.
by palimpsest
Aug 5th, 2008
01:34:26 AM
Fess up Judd...
bottombrick...
by The Eskimo
Aug 5th, 2008
01:42:39 AM
...let me clarify: TR is one of my fav sci-fi flicks. When I say it doesn't "hold up", I only mean that it isn't as polished as say "I, Robot" or even the god-awful "Star Wars" prequels. Not to say that makes it less of a movie...just that it is obviously dated (In fact, it is the "grittines" a la Blade Runner and original Terminator that makes it a classic). But you have to admit there are some cringe-worth Ah-nold one-liners in TR.
Robo-cop on the other hand...
by The Eskimo
Aug 5th, 2008
01:45:05 AM
...is shit.
Magic hat!
by Silent Mark
Aug 5th, 2008
01:46:51 AM
If you've seen it, did any of you notice Lola's magic hat during the cafe scene, before and during the farmer confrontation? It's hard to miss, it seems to have a mind of it's own, and the ability to teleport at will.
THAT was Jolene Blalock???
by TheGhostWhoLurks
Aug 5th, 2008
02:03:20 AM
Man! I didn't even recognize her! I could've sworn her character was Black in this new SST film...

Now I'm gonna have to watch it over again and appreciate her sexiness on a whole 'nother level. I didn't even know what she looked like without her Vulcan makeup on.

Croc Gotta Eat
by cineninja
Aug 5th, 2008
02:05:12 AM
Rogue rocked...great pic and youre right...its a much better film then what you would think....Troopers 3 is pretty much what I expected.
...I guess they don’t have much to live up to so maybe this’ll b
by The Eskimo
Aug 5th, 2008
02:15:08 AM
Croc Crocodile Crocodile 2Lake Placid Lake Placid 2 Primeval The Big Alligator River Blood Surf Eaten Alive Alligator Alligator 2 Killer Crocodile 1 Killer Crocodile 2 And now Rogue…
copy and pasting sux...
by The Eskimo
Aug 5th, 2008
02:16:26 AM
...sorry all, but I had to get to the bottom of this
Starship Troopers
by kwisatzhaderach
Aug 5th, 2008
02:44:55 AM
All hail Paul Verhoeven and the late, great Basil Poledouris!
Playkins
by DocPazuzu
Aug 5th, 2008
03:15:44 AM
I was 30 when ST came out and had by then read Heinlein's book maybe three times.

In my experience, the people most often offended by Verhoeven's treatment of the book are the ones who didn't get Heinlein's much more sly critique of society and had taken the book to be an endorsement of their own far-right political thoughts. The second group understood Heinlein's critique and felt that Verhoeven's take was much more ham-fisted. The third and largest group are the asshats who didn't even understand Verhoeven's satire. My favorite group, however, is the bunch who started out as members of group 3 and, like Van Dien, are pretending that the joke wasn't on them after the fact.

Jolene & Casper in San Diego Comic-Con
by thevision
Aug 5th, 2008
03:17:42 AM
The SST 3 presentation was in Ballroom 20 I think, but I missed it, was in Hall H at the Underworld presentation. SST 3 had a booth and I thought Jolene would be there signing autographs, nope only Casper- he reminds me of Tom Brady. Too bad I missed Jolene, guys who were there said she looks fantastic.
Danny Glovers DickBlood!
by spectrebeeyatch
Aug 5th, 2008
03:17:48 AM
You were mentioned by Judd Apatow on Conan tonight! Just wanted to let you know!
DocPazuzu: We'll, if you're implying...
by Playkins
Aug 5th, 2008
04:02:16 AM
...that I fit into any of your "groups", you're dead wrong. Believe it or not, there are other people than you that understood it. As a matter of fact, when I read it at 12, I knew humans were the bad guys. See, I was smart enough to realize the Skinnies and the Arachnids WEREN'T THE AGGRESSORS. I get the satire. I GOT IT THEN. I GET IT NOW. Let me set the record STRAIGHT. I LIKED THE MOVIE. I thought it was dumb fun that barely resembled my favorite novel. They changed SO MUCH from the book that the story was barely recognizable. The CG series was closer to the book, except it lacked the fascist undertones. Here's a FOURTH group for you: People that act like they're the only ones that got the joke, and are snide to everyone else. Oh, WAIT!! I got another!! In "Stranger In a Strange Land", Mike is... wait for it... A CHRIST-FIGURE!!!! :::GASP!!::: But, WAIT!!! There's MORE!!! It's also a story about the POWER OF INSTITUTIONS AND THE CORRUPTION INHERENT IN THE SYSTEM!!!! No WAY!!! Did I just ANALIZE SOMETHING?!? Do I REALLY, TRULY GET IT?!?

No, must just be you, huh?

Playkins
by DocPazuzu
Aug 5th, 2008
04:08:14 AM
If anyone is categorizing people here, it's you. "Snide" is when you imply that the most people who like the film were children when it came out -- in other words, there's you and then there's everyone else.
Doc: You're absolutley right.
by Playkins
Aug 5th, 2008
04:16:17 AM
And I'm turning it around because of the assholes that seem to think they're the only ones who seem to get it. Read the thread. I don't get nasty until someone insults me.

My first post (that spawned the "you don't get it" crap):

"It was fairly obvious it would never get a good sequel. I actually enjoyed the forst[sic] one. It was cheesy, guilty fun that made fun of it's audience. The CG show was a lot closer to the Heinlein novel, though."

So fuck of if you don't like it, me, or what I have to say. Why don't you look back at your 03:15:44 post and think about whether or not it comes off a little backhanded.

Playkins
by DocPazuzu
Aug 5th, 2008
04:27:18 AM
I clearly stated "in my experience" and said the people "most often" offended, etc.

If you're not one of those people then you shouldn't feel offended. If you are one of those people and you are offended, then you can just kiss my ass.

DocPazuzu:
by Playkins
Aug 5th, 2008
04:35:04 AM
Point taken.

But, surely you can understand how I'd assume you meant me if I was the one being addressed.

aaaargh. CUNTS
by Lost Jarv
Aug 5th, 2008
04:53:03 AM
Humourless fucking cunts. What the fuck is wrong with you?
Weird...
by Ghostball
Aug 5th, 2008
04:53:31 AM
Up 'til now I thought Troopers 1, Recall and Robo 1 were completely and universally considered mandatory viewing... Classics to a man, equal to Tolstoy books n' shit (though too entertaining to enter them into the education system, obviously). But, now, I'm hearing people here give them all the 'Emperors' New Clothes' brush off... What next, people, Terminator 1? Aliens? Little Nicky? Where does it all end??

Some of you people really make my brain hurt... this is what being a zealot must feel like.

*starts pounding own forehead and making mewling noises like Rain Man*

Total Recall is subversive genius
by Lost Jarv
Aug 5th, 2008
04:59:57 AM
Just thought I'd throw that out there.
Bravo Ghostball Bravo
by Xiphos_2
Aug 5th, 2008
05:08:48 AM
For that concise yet eviscerating post. Kudos sir.
What Vern didn't mention re: ST3
by Lemming
Aug 5th, 2008
06:16:51 AM
Is that Rico does pretty much fuck all for most of this movie. The robot suit for which the movie gets it's title is literally the last five minutes of screen time. This film is really following Jolene around. And that's no bad thing. But yes, it is a crap movie.
Clancy Brown, Michael Ironside: two badasses
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Aug 5th, 2008
06:50:40 AM
What's not to love about the first. Never saw the second. Saw the trailer for the third. I'll catch it on a slow night of tv.
Fuck off memories
by Lost Jarv
Aug 5th, 2008
07:16:20 AM
Don't even fucking start.
It derails at the end
by Gezoes
Aug 5th, 2008
07:42:30 AM
It's actually better than the second one, wich was a stinkin' pile. The middle bit of part 3 is actually pretty good. But wait until the end for the religion part. ST3 derails, and frankly it becomes downright embarassing. I was going to give it a 7, until the end. That's when it went to a 4. Jolene performed ok, but was horrible at the end.
What happend to your post?
by Lost Jarv
Aug 5th, 2008
07:48:07 AM
It was the site trying to spare us the usual pretentious, rambling, incoherent load of horseshit that spills off your semen encrusted keyboard.

Once again, way to miss the point in what DocPazuzu and Playkins were arguing about.

And stop lying. You don;t have mates. You either have people that barely tolerate you, or orderlies paid to look after you on day release from the "Special" home.

what's a "sandwish"
by Lost Jarv
Aug 5th, 2008
08:01:29 AM
asshole?

If you're going to insult me, then at least try to do it in a recognisable language.

Now fuck off and fetch my dry cleaning. Bitch.

Lost Jarv
by chipps
Aug 5th, 2008
08:02:27 AM
kevin pietersen = captain of england
I know chipps,
by Lost Jarv
Aug 5th, 2008
08:12:33 AM
and I'm not happy about it. Watch his form take a fucking nosedive.
Just met Greg McLean at a screening tonight...
by The Grug
Aug 5th, 2008
08:30:32 AM
Seems like a really nice bloke (not necessarily what you'd expect from the guy behind Wolf Creek). Forgot to ask him if he had anything in the pipeline though.
Rogue
by GabbaFiendScott
Aug 5th, 2008
08:32:35 AM
Loved Wolf Crek so had this pre-ordered. the way the $-£ exchange rate is its not much more expensive to buy rather than rent anyway. plus god knows when we will get it here.
Black Water is better
by Sithdan
Aug 5th, 2008
08:56:39 AM
The best "killer croc" film to date is Black Water. Rogue is no way even close to its greatness.
M-O-M
by DocPazuzu
Aug 5th, 2008
09:17:08 AM
It's nice to see that you can change your name but not your nature. When you were known as BladeRunnerUnit you had a bug up your ass about Heinlein and I remember your long, boring and inaccurate posts where you called him a "fascist".

You know, even BSB finally admitted to being brokebackcowboy so why this insistance and claiming you're not BRU? Come clean, you'll feel much better about yourelf if you do. There is no shame in having been banned.

FUCK JUDD APATOW!! GET YOUR OWN PUNCH-LINES FUCKER!!
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 5th, 2008
09:23:27 AM
Thje
by Shoegeezer
Aug 5th, 2008
09:53:37 AM
The effects
by Shoegeezer
Aug 5th, 2008
10:01:05 AM
Don't know why folk are so down on the effects in this. Considering the budget and production time they're pretty good. There are loads of them, the Skotaks mixed in miniatures with CGI which looks much better than the wall to wall cheap CGI most DTV fare gets. Some of it is quite ingenious - the nightvision camera shots of the bugs outside the compound, the in-camera-effect of the shadows of bugs at the beginning of the trench battle. All the effects shots are well composed, such as the scorpion bug sequence or the stuff with the powersuits. Sure it has some of the worst acting ever (the French soldier girls is completely incomprehensible) and the film is way too long but it attempts to appeal to fans of both book and film, isn't short of action and does have some good ideas stuck in there.
Why don't DTV movies have cooler effects?
by FluffyUnbound
Aug 5th, 2008
11:12:24 AM
I mean, look at a movie like SCREAMERS. That movie was relatively cheaply made at the time, and would probably be even cheaper to make now. Why can't DTV movies have effects that are that good? Hell, there were really good horror/scifi/adventure films made decades before most of the expensive effects technologies even existed. It had to be dirt cheap to make the first ON THE BEACH. So why can't DTV scifi be that good? // Also, did someone seriously just claim that the first ROBOCOP was badly written and directed? You're kidding, right? The drawn-out reveal sequence of Murphy post-transformation ALONE puts the direction in that film high above most other action movies. The writing is pretty much the best satire of the 80's ever done that wasn't directed by Oliver Stone. And you're bitching about the acting? Weller does a great job, as anyone who saw ROBOCOP 3 without him can attest. And there are six or seven villain characters / minor characters who are better written and acted than 99% of action movie characters of any decade.
FACT CHECK: Freeman still alive.
by mbeemer
Aug 5th, 2008
11:13:56 AM
At least, there's no announcement of a death on a Google news search.
There are no Starship Trooper movies...
by Ninja Nerd
Aug 5th, 2008
11:25:30 AM
...just lame shit that borrows the names and places, gets most of the points of the book wrong, and yes...LEFT OUT THE FUCKING MI SUITS AND DROP CAPSULES.
Ghostball
by Vern
Aug 5th, 2008
12:41:59 PM
Well, back in the late '90s STARSHIP TROOPERS was not as popular as it is now, especially on the internet. Alot of nerds and/or readers hated that it didn't have the robot suits that are apparently in the book, and couldn't get over that. But more than that people were offended by the anti-militarism themes of the movie. Jeez, I gotta read that book, because this is the first time I've ever heard anybody claim that it in fact was a satire like the movie is. I remember years ago watching endless online blathering about how the movie insults the book's powerful message of duty to one's country and what not.

In fact, there were endless arguments about whether the movie even was a satire... I think it is fair to say someone had to be pretty thick to not understand that aspect of the movie, but believe it or not you could find many people online who were convinced Verhoeven and fans of the movie had made it up after the fact that it was in fact funny and in line with Verhoeven's previous movies and not some kind of weird futuristic recruiting film. AND there was at least one major critic who declared the movie "fascist" and pointed out the Riefenstahl references as if nobody else would pick up on them and as if the movie was meant to be taken at face value. And very racist against bugs.

In short, STARSHIP TROOPERS was a widely misunderstood film for years, but I think most people have caught up with it by now. The "ROBOCOP sucks" thing is new though and I think specific to the one blatantly wrong talkbacker trying to pass that line along.

Also if I had banning power that asshole trying to make us think Freeman is dead would be banned so hard he wouldn't even remember what computers were.

by the way, a bit of trivia
by Vern
Aug 5th, 2008
12:44:19 PM
Alejandro Jodorowsky loves STARSHIP TROOPERS
STARSHIP TROOPERS is vastly superior to TDK
by Drunken Rage
Aug 5th, 2008
12:59:49 PM
There, I said it. Let the flaming begin; now, fuck off.
Lost Jarv: TOTAL RECALL
by Playkins
Aug 5th, 2008
01:51:13 PM
I'll absolutely agree that Total Recall was a better movie than Starship Troopers. It really pulls a similar joke on the audience: the idea of, "Wait, what are we cheering for?" Total Recall can be endlessly dated. Did we watch a dream sequence or not? IMHO, it was done 1000% better, and much less explicitly.
Vern:
by Playkins
Aug 5th, 2008
01:52:32 PM
Yeah, you gotta read the book. It's more relevant today than ever.
Oops: BTW: (earlier post)
by Playkins
Aug 5th, 2008
01:53:37 PM
I meant "Total Recall can be endlessly DEBATED." Sorry.
As to the book being saterical
by Subtlety
Aug 5th, 2008
02:16:58 PM
I don't think so. Heinlein was a devoted Military man (he was in the Navy, and rose to the rank of lieutenant). Now, the book is not quite the fascist doctrine that its made out to be (and the movie satirizes) but there's nothing in the book or in his life which would lead one to believe his intent was to disparage militarism. Verhoven, on the other hand, loves to take concepts and push them to ridiculous extremes just to find out where it takes us... and so his take on Heinlein's fairly pro-military material is... Neil Patrick Harris as the head of the Gestapo getting his guys to rape a Vagina-headed-bug's face. Which is arguably at least as good. Heinlein was a huge figure in shaping Science fiction though (as Vern is no doubt aware, being an author himself) and well worth a look, though for my money "Starship Troopers" has suffered from so many cheap knockoffs over the years.
PS Vern...
by Subtlety
Aug 5th, 2008
02:19:08 PM
You rule.
The first SST
by TheHumanBeingAndFish
Aug 5th, 2008
02:49:38 PM
The first SST is, in fact, one of my favorite scifi movies - I loved it ever since I first saw it in the theater. Someone commented that it's mostly CGI; it's not, if you watch the second disk of the 3-disk DVD you'll see that there's a lot of pracical effects (lots of the bug stuff, the Rodger Young breaking up, etc.) As for the suits and drop capsules, Verhoeven and Davison explain they really tried to get them into the movie but they didn't have the budget for it. I'm really, really looking forward to SST3. BTW, I thought Neimeier and Van Dien commented that the religion stuff that's supposed to be in there is satirical as well?
CG Cartoon was good! 2nd movie sucked!
by turketron
Aug 5th, 2008
03:34:25 PM
Used to watch saturday mornings as a youngun. It had a cool ongoing story. The second movie was a horrible shitstain though. I was pissed that i wasted time watching it.
Subtlety: Correct.
by Playkins
Aug 5th, 2008
03:34:45 PM
It was a comment of Militarism and the individual sacrifice for society. In Heinlein's world, you are not allowed a voice in government without personally doing service. It's the antithesis of Marxism and Communism, which is why it draws comparisons to Nazism.

Good point about Verhoven pushing the theme to absurdity, which you eloquently explained and was exactly the point I was trying to make when I said he butchered the novel.

This site needs more Vern and
by VegasRon
Aug 5th, 2008
04:23:12 PM
less of everything else.

Looks like someone has been...
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Aug 5th, 2008
04:23:53 PM
...reading Wikipedia articles on STARSHIP TROOPERS et al.
Again, M-O-M...
by DocPazuzu
Aug 5th, 2008
04:36:31 PM
...underestimates Americans' capacity for not only intelligent but for critical thought. Heinlein did indeed endorse the idea of service to one's country, but Starship Troopers is his warning of what could happen if this idea is taken too far. If anything, Heinlein was a Libertarian, an idea which for many Europeans, such as the Portuguese M-O-M, is virtually indistinguishable from traditional American Conservatism. M-O-M calling Heinlein a right-wing extremist is, if anything, a demonstration of how shallow M-O-M's perception of American politics is.

I'm with Playkins all the way on this one.

M-O-M
by DocPazuzu
Aug 5th, 2008
04:46:27 PM
You, Sir, are a complete and utter moron.
M-O-M
by DocPazuzu
Aug 5th, 2008
04:55:59 PM
Both Harrison's and Haldeman's novels are great and I've read them all several times, but to dismiss Starship Troopers as some sort of fascist sidenote to which they're responding is to demonstrate a shockingly ignorant understanding of the debate going on within the American SF community at the time and of the American intelligentsia in general.

If you had any sense you'd be ashamed of yourself for being so condescending.

Sequel?
by ChrisinLA
Aug 5th, 2008
05:12:41 PM
There was a Starship Troopers 2?
M-O-M "STARSHIP TROOPERS silly simplistic irresponsible juvenile
by Playkins
Aug 5th, 2008
05:21:27 PM
Errr, you DO mean the film, NOT the novel, right? Because the novel didn't really outwardly satire the military machine. You kind of had to examine that one and ask yourself exactly what kind of world Heinlein was describing, and whether he was praising it or coyly criticizing it.
Playkins
by DocPazuzu
Aug 5th, 2008
05:25:07 PM
This is M-O-M's problem -- he feels that he, and he alone, can decide whether an American is capable of socio-cultural critique or not. What's painfully obvious is that Heinlein is too subtle for him, although his haughtiness will prevent him from admitting as much.
Doc- That's the thing about Heinlein in general
by Playkins
Aug 5th, 2008
05:29:39 PM
He's one of the kinds of authors of which you really don't have to agree with the message to enjoy the subject. He kind of infers his opinion here and there without asking that his reader accepts his views.
Playkins
by DocPazuzu
Aug 5th, 2008
05:50:36 PM
As an ex-pat American in Europe I have had to defend Heinlein so many times that it becomes tiresome.
M-O-M, you idiot.
by DocPazuzu
Aug 5th, 2008
07:05:14 PM
It's okay if you didn't understand the satire in the book, but please -- please don't bunch everyone else together with yourself. A lot of people (yes even Americans) understood the satire in Heinlein's book, even if you, a Portuguese dilettante, do not.

The fact that Verhoeven's film is a more simplistic version of the story is irrelevant.

harry or quint
by mefrog
Aug 5th, 2008
07:18:28 PM
please ban the fucker above me
or mori. Or anyone.
by mefrog
Aug 5th, 2008
07:19:36 PM
DocPazuzu: Defending Heinlein.
by Playkins
Aug 5th, 2008
07:20:06 PM
Do you mean defending him because of militaristic ideals, or defending him because his work is often misinterpreted?

Wow, either way I'm shocked that his books would be used in Europe to propagate stereotypical American ideals.

M-O-M
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Aug 5th, 2008
07:21:13 PM
Now, why would you think my comment was about you, hmmm?
Playkins
by DocPazuzu
Aug 5th, 2008
07:24:47 PM
I mean that espousing the idea of service to one's community, whether military or otherwise, is NOT inherently fascist, which, hideously, is not an obvious virtue for many Europeans, as exemplified by M-O-M.
Doc- I'd assume Europeans are typically on edge..
by Playkins
Aug 5th, 2008
07:59:32 PM
After all, they've dealt with about every kind of fascism/socialism/communism/mo narchy, and the like within the last 200 years.

Something that comes off as fascist or can be construed as pro-Nazi is going to ruffle feathers.

both
by chipps
Aug 5th, 2008
09:31:59 PM
the movie and the book were good. I was 16 when the movie came out and really loved it. I was unaware that it was so divisive, most people i knew liked it. I went off and read the book and was pleasantly surprised at it's depth. Much had been left out for the movie and i thought there was the possibility of good sequels from what was left of the source material. unfortunately instead we got bad sequels. such is life.
Just came across this pretty cool Casper Van Dien interview
by TheHumanBeingAndFish
Aug 6th, 2008
01:36:34 AM
http://www.ifmagazine.com/feat ure.asp?article=2922. Note the following: iF: "Do you find it ironic that STARSHIP TROOPERS is embraced by the left wing and right wing for two totally different reasons?" VAN DIEN: "This movie gets it from all sides. They get pro-War fans and anti-War fans. To the left and right. We get extremists who like it. I was on a plane and Karl Rove came up to me and told me how much he loved it. So I get that. And then, we also get the other side. The Green pacifist party had a screening of STARSHIP TROOPERS in Santa Monica and said “we really missed this the first time around, look at how great this movie is, it’s an anti-War movie.” So Ed and I were asked to speak after this rally. It was unreal. So it’s across the board. The military guys always come to me. It’s something to me, that has such a wide base. It gets missed by many from one side, but it gets embraced by the same people whole-heartedly. I don’t know how to explain it. Every director I met across the board loved it. Quentin Tarantino argued with us, even though we weren’t arguing, for three and half hours of why it’s one of the greatest movies ever made." Add Carl Rove and Quentin Tarantino to Darren Aronofsky, ladies and gentlemen.
Hmm, I'm going to check this,
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
05:00:36 AM
but I think I'm about to massively pwn that jumped up little iberian turd.
Yup
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
05:02:36 AM
"One of my favorite novels is voltaire's CANDICE, a book whihc is, in fact, a philosophical treatise in the form of a narrative. And STARSHIP TROOPERS is Heinlein's own Candice"

That would be Voltaire's CANDIDE. Just as well you know the name of one of your "favourites". I suspect you actually read the York notes on it when you were studying French.

Could you be any more of a pretentious, yet crushingly stupid, dick?

Having never read a word of Heinlen
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
05:25:33 AM
I don't really have an opinion on whether or not the man was a fascist. However, I can think of plenty of other lauded writers (in Sci-fi and otherwise) that were deplorable human beings- Even Aldous Huxley had some pretty fucking dubious beliefs.
and....
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
05:29:12 AM
don't give me this bollocks about Europeans having lived through the worst of all regimes in the last 200 years as an excuse for you being a hyper sensitive dick.

What you, an Iberian cocksmoker living in the early 21st, have in Common with a Kulak being purged and sent to the fucking gulag can be put on the back of a stamp.

I know I'm British, so do not consider myself to be European (we don't), but there is nothing in your makeup that suggests that you are in the least bit "savvy"- and we (much more than you) have produced almost every great dystopian novel so can not only see it coming a fucking mile away but comment on it.

I also don't think you know what satire is.
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
05:31:44 AM
You cannot satirise a book. You can parody one, but by any classical definition of satire you cannot satirise one:

"a mode of writing that exposes the failings of individuals, institutions, or societies to ridicule and scorn." Oxford English Dictionary.

Is it true that one of the ships is called
by Abominable Snowcone
Aug 6th, 2008
07:26:04 AM
THE NUDE AKIMBO?
And another thing.....
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
08:14:23 AM
indeed asshole.

1)Find one instance of me saying Lennon is a hack. One.

2)Don't fucking tell me what we consider ourselves to be. The vast majority of us do not consider ourselves European. In fact we make the distinction as to "continental" or "mainland" should give this away. Geographically we are European, but not culturally. So give that up.

damn it, truncated post
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
08:16:55 AM
and furthermore, Irony= Being a presumptious little Portuguese cock-end and having the fucking gall to lecture others for his failings.
and riddle me this, fuckspoon
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
08:20:05 AM
when precisely have you lived under an oppressive regime?

My guess unless you are 50 is NEVER. Therefore, you know as much and have actually less understanding of fascism than I do. (I only say less, because of the ludicrously fascist policies that have been enacted in Britain.)

You can still smoke in the pub in Portugal. We can't- and before you tell me that isn't fascist, the first country to try to Ban smoking was Nazi Germany.

WHEN DID I EVER CALL LENNON PRETENTIOUS
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
08:40:47 AM
one example, just one. AICN is full of my quotes, so it shouldn't take you long,
and I understand EU Directives far better than you
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
08:42:40 AM
asshole. The point I am making, that you are missing, is that in the UK it is banned outright REGARDLESS OF AIRCON.

This is an important distinction as it helps illustrate my point that the current government puts more extreme policies in place than anywhere else in Europe.

But good try.

oh I see what you've done
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
08:44:35 AM
you've misinterpreted my post calling the film The Assasination of John Lennon boring pretentious dreck. I was referring to the film not the man.

Idiot. If you had any class you would admit you were wrong, but you don't so you won't.

68 posts in the last 24 hours........
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 6th, 2008
09:55:29 AM
....some work to do to get this up to the top spot.
awwwwww I forget how nice fast TB loading can be.
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 6th, 2008
09:55:48 AM
Jarv.....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 6th, 2008
09:57:18 AM
Explain the difference between culturally European or not....
Our new home
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 6th, 2008
09:58:03 AM
Gotta get settled in and make my ass groove in the cushion.
CoC is in the House!
by toadkillerdog
Aug 6th, 2008
09:58:55 AM
hah
For CASPER VAN DIEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!!!
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 6th, 2008
09:59:44 AM
and DINA MEEEEEYYYYYYEEEEEERRR!!!
by just pillow talk
Aug 6th, 2008
10:01:33 AM
Lets try and get our old thread to 4500
by toadkillerdog
Aug 6th, 2008
10:01:59 AM
Just post away and not read! We should give it a good send off and 4500 is a nice round number
I'll toss a few posts here and there in the old thead
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 6th, 2008
10:03:31 AM
Probably from home when I have completely random thoughts.
Oh, and like DocP mentioned up above..
by just pillow talk
Aug 6th, 2008
10:03:52 AM
The first Starship Troopers did kick ass. I loved seeing that movie int he theater. The spot that always kills me is when they sort of have the censor on the cow getting chopped up by the bug.
and the kids doing "their part"
by just pillow talk
Aug 6th, 2008
10:04:22 AM
by stomping on bugs.
Were are those guys
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 6th, 2008
10:04:37 AM
That show up to a party and things just blow up.

I mean blow up in a good way though.

I sort of feel bad leaving the other talkback though.

There's lots of differences Danny,
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
10:04:56 AM
We're extremely Anti-EU, they're not. And that's just scratching the surface. We also tend to be monolingual and uninterested in anything in a "foriegn" language. We've got a very, very strong nationalist fervour and (to be honest) a fuck sight more history as one nation than them. Don't forget, America is older than Italy, Germany and France and Spain in their current forms. We're the only nation that has basically been unchanged since the early 17th century. We've got different democracies, a different head of state and a different legal system.

We really do not have a lot in common with Europe.

and we spent most of the last millenia at war with them
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
10:06:06 AM
He really should fuck off, as he doesn't have a clue what he's talking about.
Loved when drill instructor took demotion
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 6th, 2008
10:07:43 AM
Just so he could go fight the bugs.

Yes the propaganda pieces in the film are also what makes it a little different than the normal sci-fi film.

Without that angle I don't think it would be as well remembered as it is today.

I don't think Playkins will be sending you
by just pillow talk
Aug 6th, 2008
10:08:03 AM
a Christmas card this year Danny.

Think you'll manage?

I'm here..but I'm sad.
by Jonah Echo
Aug 6th, 2008
10:08:09 AM
Goodbye Outlander. I hope Mori's got some new news on you soon.

And before we get settled here, let me make an alternate suggestion.

I think this should be our new home. It's a week old, but it's for a great old movie that needs to be on dvd, and for the remake of it. Take a look. But I think we should go HERE. I at least want opinions from everyone.

http://www.aintitcool.com/node /37718

Jarv
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 6th, 2008
10:08:17 AM
Interesting......that is very interesting. You guys do kinda seem all alone over there on your island. It seems like a place like Hungary or some other random country is basically the same to British or American....very foreign ya know?
Poor old Dina Meyer
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
10:08:49 AM
went from the Greatness of ST to the dreck of Saw.

Mind you, Poor old Cary Elwes.

Jonah Echo
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 6th, 2008
10:09:50 AM
Hhhhmmmmm.....the only thing is thats Merrick's thread. I fucking hate that cunt and I dont really want to contribute to his numbers. What you dont realize is Harry gauges the success of a writer on the traffic of their TB.
Cary Elwes
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 6th, 2008
10:10:33 AM
He was on one of the Law and Orders the other night (syndication).

He has blown up like you wouldn't believe.

I'm talking Val Kilmer syndrome and more chins than a Chinese phonebook.

Crappity crap...You are totally right..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 6th, 2008
10:10:49 AM
Now that you mention it, that's why I didnt spend much time in it last week.
and if we're gonna get this TB to the top....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 6th, 2008
10:10:54 AM
I think we should let Outlander die. It will take away too many posts if some of you are switching back and forth.....focus on one plan of attack. Casper Van Dien SHALL RISE AGAIN!!
at least Denise made it big...
by just pillow talk
Aug 6th, 2008
10:11:33 AM
Showing how much of a loon she is on her stupid reality show.

No one cares hon, just get nekkid please.

Continental Europeans
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
10:11:37 AM
really don't understand us, and to be honest we don't do ourselves any favours, as all we export to them is: Football violence, Drunk Chavs ruining the Beleariacs, Ex-pat cunts that refuse to learn the language and bad attitude.

If you took a vote in the UK tomorrow on whether we should stay in the EU, then I honestly think that it would be at best close but more likely a resounding NO.

Here it is then..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 6th, 2008
10:12:05 AM
*throws hat onto rack* until we get a Bermuda Depths remake TB.

And Danny, you still need to watch Bermuda Depths when you get a chance.Carl Weathers vs. giant sea turtle. You know you want it.

Carl Weathers needs more work
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
10:13:25 AM
That's obvious.
Action Jackson vs. giant sea turtle?
by just pillow talk
Aug 6th, 2008
10:13:27 AM
Was this a DTV movie or a sci-fi movie?
Danny..calm a little..I don't want to support Casper
by Jonah Echo
Aug 6th, 2008
10:13:55 AM
He isn't a good actor, and it's sort of his own fault he is where he is. I think we can still support Outlander from right here, since it is a B-movie, possibly DTV, and in the mean time set up some viewings of ST3 and Rogue for all of us.
JPT..its a tv movie that is on Youtube
by Jonah Echo
Aug 6th, 2008
10:15:19 AM
in all it's parts. It involves sea devils, giant turtles, mysterious beauties, mad scientists, and Burl Ives. And of course Carl Weathers. Check it out. It's from the 70s and one of those "did I dream this?" films from my childhood.
hey guys.....you know what I was thinking?
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 6th, 2008
10:15:40 AM
Maybe I'm thinking of myself as a bit too important here........but some twat on another TB just said AICN was shamed with the mention of my moniker on national tv because anyone googling the name would find aint it cool, and they would gauge the website with my opinions. Anyway.......I wonder if that has to do with why my post history was deleted that very day the comic con footage came out with the first mention. What do you think? Was AICN concerned about people judging them based off me? What the fuck? I cant imagine why...............what do you think?
which is why he OWNS this series...
by just pillow talk
Aug 6th, 2008
10:15:52 AM
Casper really should have existed in the 1950's sci-fi era. Can you imagine him against giant ants? Shoot the antenna Casper!
Can't we just all get along?
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 6th, 2008
10:17:06 AM
Me? I loves me some Europe.

Seriously though, I see exactly what Jarv is saying. There are a lot of similarities between England and Canada, what with the commonwealth and all. And Nova Scotia is perhaps the most "fascist" of all the provinces as they have initiated the same anti-smoking bans that exist in England. Not only are all bars and pubs smoke-free, but merchants can no longer display smokes in the open. So if you go in to buy a pack of cigs, the cashier has to go to the backroom to get it. And that meant that merchants had to retrofit their establishments to hold the smokes that previously were kept up front.

Imagine walking into a humidor and finding the shelves empty.

Also Jonah
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 6th, 2008
10:17:21 AM
When you watched Bemuda Depths, did you notice how well the transitions were when you jumped from one part to the other?

Very well done on the youtube edit.

pillow....thats true....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 6th, 2008
10:17:41 AM
Or he would have been good as the main Captain guy in Plan 9 From outer Space. He has the strong jaw-line for that shit.
No Danny,
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
10:17:52 AM
That's like a sin-binning. You must have pissed someone off.

And frankly, AICN has more to be ashamed of than your moniker.

now that's an interesting hypothesis Danny...
by just pillow talk
Aug 6th, 2008
10:18:05 AM
Could very well be.

Shit, this was our opportunity to spread the word of 2for2true to the world.

The broadcast would have sent a shiver down the spine of shitheels everywhere.

Jonah Echo you are so hard on Casper.....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 6th, 2008
10:18:34 AM
...and I'm kidding dude. I don't really love him. I just love that he is washed up. I stand behind any washed up has beens....
Also Danny needs to watch Rawhead Rex!
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 6th, 2008
10:18:36 AM
It is on youtube.

Bow down to the Rex!

Much faster over here
by toadkillerdog
Aug 6th, 2008
10:19:10 AM
But Fred and i are pushing our old TB. we are up to 4400 - Come on guys just 100 mor posts!
Personally I like parts of Europe
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
10:19:21 AM
I love Spain for example, and I'm making an effort to learn another language.

I just don't like that little bastard.

I've just never heard of that happening....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 6th, 2008
10:19:37 AM
...have you Jarv? Just the history being deleted....but the name still works fine.
I'll have to check it out sometime Jonah
by just pillow talk
Aug 6th, 2008
10:19:40 AM
It sounds...PRICELESS...
TKD
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
10:20:03 AM
I would, but it takes me over 2 minutes to reload between posts now and it's driving me mad.
Yes, I have
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
10:20:45 AM
It happened to that intergalactic arsehole Memories once. That's why I think it's a warning.
I think it's happened before Danny...
by just pillow talk
Aug 6th, 2008
10:21:07 AM
Very unusual, but I think it's happened to BSB. I can't remember the thread, if it was the Die Flaccid one or not.

Or I could be completely wrong.

ah yes, and to M-O-M
by just pillow talk
Aug 6th, 2008
10:21:49 AM
Who claimed it was a "break" from AICN.
I love Europe too...
by just pillow talk
Aug 6th, 2008
10:22:54 AM
Funnily enough, I haven't been to England yet.

Fucking pussy-ass-muthafucker dollar. Rub some dirt on it!

how the hell did this TB jump from 68 to over 100 already?
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 6th, 2008
10:23:25 AM
because we're very fucking good
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
10:24:12 AM
I like giving Vern numbers. That makes me happy.
Casper was born 40 years too late
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 6th, 2008
10:25:23 AM
He would indeed have made a great 50's B-movie actor.

Danny, your tin foil hypothesis is intriguing. Especially if it's true Kevin Smith mentioned you also on a separate occasion.

No one is interested in sending a box of #2 pencils to the office of Judd Apatow? Christ, I'm on a mailing spree right now, why stop?

Fred could use your help on old thread
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 6th, 2008
10:26:08 AM
Toadkillerdog and Fred are doing our part! We can get to 4500! Go team!
ok then, I'm done talking about it
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 6th, 2008
10:26:25 AM
I dont wanna sound like that one poor bastard that cried about getting kicked off of CHUD for a week......anyone read that when he questioned that Devin cunt-lip, and he banned his IP!!
That was creepy.
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
10:28:00 AM
I just wanted to sit him down and say "Dude, you got banned. Life goes on."

Even though he was right and Devin is a dick.

I think it also happened to AnimalStructure
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
10:28:56 AM
his banning should be a fucking IP ban.

Yech.

I had a nightmare last night....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 6th, 2008
10:29:10 AM
Its raining and stormy outside and there is a knock at my door at 2am....I open it and its Danny Glover with his face busted up and covered in blood. He looks like he is about to fall over. Broken glass on the floor around his feet. He leans forward and growls, "I GOT 'CHOO....."
Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 6th, 2008
10:30:04 AM
Yes Fred, but once you hit your goal......this is your new home friend.
really? you dream about Danny, er Danny?
by just pillow talk
Aug 6th, 2008
10:31:41 AM
Yes, AnimalBrane should be IP banned.
Dammit, Jarv
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 6th, 2008
10:32:00 AM
All this talk of smoking has me craving a Cohiba. Of course I would a scorned like a wretched piece of filth if I came back to my cube selling like Castro.
Fred remember the CHUD dude
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 6th, 2008
10:34:38 AM
He was pretty sad about losing his CHUD identity. Fred think some people get too wrapped up in their online personas. It get personal to them
It's most unfair
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
10:34:46 AM
Fucking health fascists.

Living in london is the equivalent of smoking 3 fags every time you get the tube, so why do I have to stand in the fecking rain when I'm having a beer if I want a smoke?

Ok, back to the new home
by toadkillerdog
Aug 6th, 2008
10:36:52 AM
We have a ways to go to get to 400, but we should be able to put a hurt on them soon
There's something I missed in that little turds
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
10:37:04 AM
fatuos waffle. It wasn't a fucking historical accident that we don't get extreme governements. It goes completely against our nature.

I'll move on from this now.

The goal for this thread has to be consistency
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
10:38:54 AM
Obviously, the old thread will die a death now, as will the political one and the religious one. That Lucas Shia one will hang about, but if we put a steady couple of hundred here it will climb back to the top.

Are there any new releases coming that may distract?

HOD - Cohiba's
by toadkillerdog
Aug 6th, 2008
10:39:38 AM
I smoke them when I am in the British Virgin Islands, or in Canada. But I prefer the Dominican brands. The Romeo y Julietta, or Dominican Cohiba are better and smoother in my opinion. The Arturos are great with port.
maybe the Pineapple Express TB.......fuck that
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 6th, 2008
10:45:26 AM
you guys smoke those Coppolas?
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 6th, 2008
10:47:16 AM
I forget what they are actually called, but he says they are the cigars his father used to smoke. He distributes them through his company......those things are fucking amazing. A friend of mine buys them. I believe he said a box of 25 was around 70.
Jiminy Christmas
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 6th, 2008
10:49:18 AM
Don't even get me started on the Cuban embargo.

Frankly, I could care less if it's a Cuban cigar or not, as a tasty cigar from Honduras is as good as a tasty cigar from Cuba, but maintaining a 40 some year old embargo that was nothing but a grudge gone wrong in the first place is one of the worst foreign polices the US has ever had the shame to be associated with.

And yes, the Dominican Cohibas are better IMO and a Macanudo or Feunte go great with a glass of Sandeman.

Never had a Coppola
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 6th, 2008
10:54:21 AM
9 times of out 10 I'll grab an Arturo Fuente. The 10th time is usually a Macanudo or a Punch.

There's one thing I don't miss about Canada. The so-called Sin Tax on booze and tobacco. A 5 dollar cigar here will cost you 15 up north. And you're hard pressed to find a six-pack of ANY beer under $10.

Got the same inflated taxes of those items in England, Jarv?

Everyone....one last topic on Outlander to send it off
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 6th, 2008
10:55:48 AM
And calling Eli Roth a mastermind
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 6th, 2008
10:58:42 AM
Is an insult to even people with the stupidest movie ideas.

Does anyone else think Roth is a talentless hack whose only association with Hollywood should be cleaning Paul Rueben's and Andy Dick's splooge off a porn theater floor?

Everyone go home?
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 6th, 2008
11:00:42 AM
Or back to the Outlander TB to top it off?
Nope not gone home.
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
11:06:57 AM
Had some work to do.

Done now.

M-O-M
by just pillow talk
Aug 6th, 2008
11:10:48 AM
There appeared to be some older threads where your postings got deleted, hence we thought you have gotten the ban hammer at one point.
M-o-M
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
11:11:30 AM
I've tried reasoning with you, and I've tried being pleasant. I've also tried asking you flat out if you don't understand why you come across as a dick.

This time, however, you fail massively on every level- You don't know the name of your favourite book. (Priceless, and it wasn't a typo as you did it twice), You purposefully misinterpreted a post of mine to lie- and when presented with a challange are now taking your ball home- as I said, if you had any class you would apologise, you have been called out for gross stupidity and blazing hypocrisy, which you are continuing with by having the fucking brass neck to call someone else uneducated when you fell flat on your ass over Voltaire and obviously understand neither irony nor satire.

Fuck off, grow some fucking humility and then come back when you have something to contribute to this topic. Because at the moment all you are doing is polluting a B-movie thread with ill-informed, offensive, presumptious rants.

and don't even try US politics/ Economics
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
11:12:44 AM
I know a fuck of a lot more than you on this subject and I would not even begin to have the arrogance to lecture a native on the subject.

Oh wait, who am I talking to? Never mind.

and I didn't vote for Bush either time
by just pillow talk
Aug 6th, 2008
11:14:09 AM
If he was running for a third term, I'm sure he'd get elected again.
HOD
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 6th, 2008
11:16:44 AM
Trying to top off Outlander. 50 to go!! And Eli Roth can suck my fucking cock and gag on it....talentless arrogant twat!!

And politics in here?!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I'll tell you one depressing thing we do share with Europe
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
11:17:19 AM
we fucking sneer at Americans. Especially over Bush. The amount of times Mrs Jarv has had to defend herself in pubs over this is ridiculous.
Nope, I've just smashed him for politics
by Lost Jarv
Aug 6th, 2008
11:18:47 AM
Again. If the little bawbag (not a typo) had any balls he'd return with a quote and reference where I'd called Lennon pretentious, or at least attempt to counter any one of the points I raised. But he can't>

He'll go soon.

I have never tried the Coppolas
by toadkillerdog
Aug 6th, 2008
11:19:04 AM
The Dominicans are better. But the