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You'll Want to Believe Latauro's Review of X-FILES 2 Is a Hoax...

FIRST! by Jonas Grumpy	Jul 21st, 2008 12:18:00 PM
Bitches.
FUCK! by Jonas Grumpy	Jul 21st, 2008 12:18:14 PM
Not first.
I so dearly want to believe! by thebearovingian	Jul 21st, 2008 12:20:27 PM
But I'm not sure I can.
hmmm....well, that's not good by just pillow talk	Jul 21st, 2008 12:21:04 PM
I was hoping for a nice surprise with this. Perhaps not.
Hater. by hst666	Jul 21st, 2008 12:21:48 PM
Camp? Sure there were some great campy episodes (love the Charles Nelson Reilly episode), but the show was a pretty good thriller and spookshow.
X-files seems gay by g-ride9000	Jul 21st, 2008 12:22:01 PM
like frapachinos, Abba and Dana Scully
Review drips of self-love... and Terry O'Quinn by IAmJack'sUserID	Jul 21st, 2008 12:22:10 PM
And reviewer, mentioning casting Terry O'Quinn...BIG mistake. Terry O'Quinn played a large part at the beginning of THE OTHER X-FILES MOVIE. Deerrrrrr!
Xzibit-files by g-ride9000	Jul 21st, 2008 12:25:25 PM
AKA PIMP MY X-FILES
The script was awfull AW-FULL by ScriptGirl00	Jul 21st, 2008 12:26:19 PM
This film only went into production because David Duchovny wanted to do another X-Files movie, and he was owed a favor. Otherwise this never would have been greenlit. The script looked like it had been raped by a priest. Remember to Subscribe ;)
AICN will next post a review of Star Trek... by Voice O. Reason	Jul 21st, 2008 12:28:58 PM
...by someone who never got or enjoyed Star Trek. Nothing wrong with not liking a show, but it kind of spoils the rest of the review.
WOW! I couldn't disagree more. by Lashlarue	Jul 21st, 2008 12:29:10 PM
I saw this movie, and I thought it was AWESOME! It'll certainly get the Academy Award for best supporting actor. I think it could even snag a nomination for Best Picture. Wait... We are talking about The Dark Knight? Right?
STAR TREK:INSURRECTION by kwisatzhaderach	Jul 21st, 2008 12:29:40 PM
If that was a serious comment we can pretty much disregard this whole review.
STAR TREK INSURRECTION: by One Nation Under Zod	Jul 21st, 2008 12:30:50 PM
I would love to know why this guy thinks it's the most succesful Trek...
Seen it. He's a little harsh... but, sadly, not wrong. by YND	Jul 21st, 2008 12:30:55 PM
As a huge fan of the show who lost a lot of interest (but still watched) after Season 6... this definitely struck me as a post-Season 6 episode. And not a great one at that. I actually thought Connolly was quite good. But that was about the best I could say about it. From a nostalgia point-of-view, it was great to see Scully and Mulder back together... but man oh man did I feel like the writers' strike screwed this one over. I believe they were given a greenlight for the movie only if they could get it shot before the writers' strike. Turns out they needed more time to get it into shape. There was actually a decent amount of potential in this idea (the pseudo X File that they're investigating turns out to be absolutely nutso -- which could've been a good thing, if handled correctly), but the way it's been put together is pretty damn clumsy. It's a shame, as I can't see this as being anything but the last nail in the coffin for the series. I went in excited but nervous... and my concerns turned out to be very much justified. Interesting note: I saw the film with a couple people who weren't fans of the show... and they liked the movie a lot more than I did. Not a good sign, IMHO.
Only if you were gay would it be wrong ;) by ScriptGirl00	Jul 21st, 2008 12:31:13 PM

ScriptGirl00 by kwisatzhaderach	Jul 21st, 2008 12:32:37 PM
Good comeback.
Yeah, that ST:Insurrection blurb also confirms... by IAmJack'sUserID	Jul 21st, 2008 12:33:01 PM
that both the review and reviewer fail epically.
As an ex-X-Phile... by Vic Twenty	Jul 21st, 2008 12:33:30 PM
My expectations will be in the dumper when I see this next week. Oh, I'll see it. As a result of this review perhaps it will be better than I'm expecting, a mild surprise or happy accident. Sucks if not because this seems to have been the last shot to make this a viable franchise. If the script was so bad, why not retool it or start fresh instead of effectively burying a potential franchise? Dirty damn bean counters. BTW, the last two seasons of The X-Files were absolute crap. Presented in smell-o-rama.
A psychic is the lamest excuse for sci-fi to have by CreasyBear	Jul 21st, 2008 12:35:50 PM
a cheap budget. That and the doppelganger, where you just get two characters for the price of one actor. They couldn't scrape up enough money to make a decent vampire / monster villain for this flick? Maybe something fun, like when the X-Files delved into grim comedy? That would have been great. Instead, . . .
When AICN posts all of its reviews for Star Trek.... by Lashlarue	Jul 21st, 2008 12:36:04 PM
Prepare for the suck fest. J.J. Abrhams is the most brilliant director in Hollywood. Didn't you know? Why according to AICN... Mission Impossible 3 was GREAT! Cloverfield was GREAT! AND... every Television show that J.J. Abrham's name is attached to is GREAT! J.J. Abrhams is a man who can do no wrong. He's like Orson Wells or Stanley Kubrick... minus the talent, intelligence, or good taste.
Tuna by Vic Twenty	Jul 21st, 2008 12:37:28 PM
Leftover from Californication.
M Night's twist would be Mulders an alien all along by ingloriousjedi	Jul 21st, 2008 12:38:13 PM

Ouch!!! by Gabba-UK	Jul 21st, 2008 12:38:17 PM
Was kinda looking forward to this but I'll wait for other reviews before I form an opinion...
Huh? by infinite_probability	Jul 21st, 2008 12:38:32 PM
"rejecting it faster than a metaphor does something speedily." Was that intentional?
Hi scriptgirl can i cum on your tits by ingloriousjedi	Jul 21st, 2008 12:39:39 PM

Lashlarue by kwisatzhaderach	Jul 21st, 2008 12:39:55 PM
Yup, MI:3 was one of the worst movies i've ever seen. Remember the amazing climax with Cruise vs. Hoffman? Nope, me neither.
Fight The Future and I Want To Believe are not.. by REDD	Jul 21st, 2008 12:41:47 PM
subtitles, they're taglines. I hope you know what subtitles are, we shouldn't have to tell you - right?
YND by Vic Twenty	Jul 21st, 2008 12:41:58 PM
I didn't know that about the film's limited window re: the greenlight. I guess that explains the shoddy script (I believe ScriptGirl00, after all, she should know her scripts).
I have no patience for sci-fi movies that skimp by CreasyBear	Jul 21st, 2008 12:45:00 PM
on selling the unbelievable world to the audience with good FX. A sci-fi movie with no budget has to be incredibly, insanely, overwhelmingly brilliant if it's going to sidestep the fact that it has no decent eye candy to offer. I also think that the entire budget of everything for the entire Sci Fi Channel should be compiled into one cool movie, and that the channel itself should thereafter be destroyed, with all its original movies with their stupid-ass, embarrassingly lame CGI monsters and no-name actors going away with it.
Hey, Latauro. buys a beer by TrumpyEatsPotatoes	Jul 21st, 2008 12:45:47 PM
INSURRECTION. Now talk.
Fight The Future and I Want To Believe are not... by YND	Jul 21st, 2008 12:46:13 PM
taglines, they're titles. I hope you know what taglines are, we shouldn't have to tell you - right?
yeah... by ciroslive	Jul 21st, 2008 12:50:24 PM
The closer we get to its release the less we know. That's usually not good. I did love the Robert Patrick/Annabeth Gish seasons but thought the series finale was meh. I also HATED the shipper stuff that they seemed to shove into the mythology near the end. So this one flick will probably stink, especially after seeing TDK...
Fight The Future is a tagline, its true by Bouncy X	Jul 21st, 2008 12:51:42 PM
if it was the actual title, it would have been shown during the title sequence IN the actual movie and it isnt, the title is simply "The X-Files". but I Want To Believe is likely the subtitle since even the commercials on tv say " The X-Files : I Want To Believe" but i guess we'll know for sure when people who've seen it mention whether or not its used.
Damn that Chris Carter. by hank henshaw	Jul 21st, 2008 12:51:47 PM
Why, why allow Chris Carter write AND direct this movie after all the harm he did to the tv show? If there is a new X-Files anything (movie or tv series) after this, don't allow C. Carter anywhere near it. Still, I'm hoping this movie is not as bad as the reviewer suggests it is.
I don't know about this....... by Crackles	Jul 21st, 2008 12:53:31 PM
maybe I'll just go see The Dark Knight again! And again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again!!!!
Seriously though..... by Crackles	Jul 21st, 2008 12:57:14 PM
I really have to see this movie because I love the X-Files with a passion, but I have a really bad feeling about this!
i have never agreed with laturo... by orange cinema	Jul 21st, 2008 12:57:30 PM
why would i start now? he's an arrogant prick who defines: online snobbery. i won't post a competitors site here, but he does online podcasts at another site & is very pleased with himself. sounds very much like the type of guy who has never admitted to being wrong, or allowed his mind to change. i'm sure the movie works just fine, and hope this prick doesn't start to much of a negative buzz.
Just watched 'Insurrection' yesterday. by Kurutteru Yatsu	Jul 21st, 2008 01:02:13 PM
Showtime's been playing the hell out of it lately. (Why no Nemesis though? That's the only one I haven't seen since it was in the theater.) If you accept the fact that it's simply a TNG episode with a bigger budget it's not bad. Most successful Trek film though? Yeah, I gotta hear the argument for that one.
Pondscum is either a struggling actor or writer by ingloriousjedi	Jul 21st, 2008 01:04:15 PM
or both
Bad_Wolf by CreasyBear	Jul 21st, 2008 01:06:39 PM
If you spelled it "pedophile", you're correct in the States. Same thing with "orthopedic", which has to be "orthopaedic" in those other countries that speak English. (I have an encyclopaedic knowledge of such things.)
I Didn't Have An Opinion Until by Unlabled	Jul 21st, 2008 01:11:43 PM
this last weekend when they are showing the 'new' trailer. Barely anything new right before the movie comes out and it just seem uninspired. I feared for this movie since seeing it.
otherwordly doom pre-empts psychic pedophiles by juice willis	Jul 21st, 2008 01:12:27 PM
how do you sidestep an impending alien invasion/government infiltration/cover-up? sorry, but next to that, just about anything else is fairly ho-hum. i realize they did that shit in the series all the time, but this as a big screen production and should have a little bit more coherence with the cinematic world they've already established.
Huh...X-Files???... by Kid Z	Jul 21st, 2008 01:14:07 PM
...People still care about that crap show from the 90's? Wha?... another shitty movie? Is it time for a whole 90's nostalgia trend already?
And Terry O'Quinn by Unlabled	Jul 21st, 2008 01:16:07 PM
was the FBI agent who blew up in the first movie, so you can't have him as the Priest.
Oh well.... by Kid Z	Jul 21st, 2008 01:17:09 PM
...maybe in ten years, JJ Abrams can recast this with a couple of overage Disney teen stars and start up the franchise again. Except Mulder's office will be relocated to Area 51.
What's with the atrocious marketing on this one? by Freakemovie	Jul 21st, 2008 01:18:37 PM
Is Fox just giving up on the movie business this summer? They just started airing TV spots last week, and I don't even remember if a full trailer ever came out. Nobody has any idea what the plot is. It's like they knew they were going to get overshadowed by The Dark Knight, but instead of developing a marketing strategy with that in mind, they just rolled over and died instead.
What a letdown by Focker12384	Jul 21st, 2008 01:19:08 PM
I hope its better than Latauro says, I've been kinda pumped about this hoping that the wait was worth it..... Now its about a pedophile priest??? WHAT THE FUCK
...and mulder's affinity for porn by juice willis	Jul 21st, 2008 01:19:27 PM
will be replaced by the joy of cooking
ScriptGirl00 by JimBobCooter	Jul 21st, 2008 01:20:36 PM
She even has a picture of her breasts in her screen name.
I can't wait until the "Mad About You" movie comes out by chaddyd	Jul 21st, 2008 01:23:54 PM
For god's sake. Why even bother with this drivel? This is a show that has been forgotten about. It was great for the first 7 seasons, but it is now outdated. This movie will flop in a big way.
Juice by Vic Twenty	Jul 21st, 2008 01:25:18 PM
How about the Joy of Painting? They can investigate an "undead" Bob Ross creating "not-so-happy accidents" to the evil producer/landlord/Scooby villain that had him killed.
There is a very brief scene in the trailer by Jor-El23	Jul 21st, 2008 01:26:41 PM
where i would swear it looks like Washington DC is burning down...anyone know what i'm talking about?
BTW by Vic Twenty	Jul 21st, 2008 01:26:55 PM
That is a better idea than anything in the last 2 seasons.
Who the hell is Latauro??? by Lenny8	Jul 21st, 2008 01:27:10 PM
Where do they get these people? Dude doesn't even have a catchy way to introduce himself.
Reverse Psychology Plant! by apolo_sputnik	Jul 21st, 2008 01:28:28 PM
I hate it so much I want to see it just to see why I hate it so much. Just so when I do actually see it I can say my preconceived notion was right! I do have psychic movie bashing abilities!
vic by juice willis	Jul 21st, 2008 01:29:30 PM
that would be the only plotline capable of justifying the departure from the impending alien takeover storyline.
Aww man! Bummer! by TheJake	Jul 21st, 2008 01:29:55 PM
They should've gone with werewolves... or just made a sequel to the first one. I really really liked the first one and I'm not even a big fan of the show.
I am always open to the negative reviews, by Jonah Echo	Jul 21st, 2008 01:34:01 PM
and taking them seriously. But was this really much of a review? And what is so crazy about the pedo priest storyline? What is the supernatural element-because I don't think they mentioned that above. Is there more to it than just psychic connection? If anything this seemed to resemble an ep of Millenium or some of the darker X-Files and that is fine by me. Also, Laturo's reviews have been WAAY off in the past, and Script Girl(is it likely that's even the real deal) gives a brief "review" to say the least.
The show was not campy! by RedHHades	Jul 21st, 2008 01:35:16 PM
They had some campy episodes, made that way on purpose, and some of them were classics, as Jose Chung's From Other Space. Some of the stand alone episodes were brilliant, as Ice, Squeeze, Home, Clyde Bruckman and many others. The last two seasons of the shows were a letdown, that's for sure, but the first five years of the series had plenty of good stories to tell. I have my expectations on the low side, so I think I will like it quite a bit if they managed to keep the Mulder and Scully dynamic.
Give Scriptgirl the Black Box by Wed Vid Guy	Jul 21st, 2008 01:36:11 PM
If she is who she says she is.
I'll tell you why STAR TREK: INSURRECTION is the most successful by Luscious.868	Jul 21st, 2008 01:36:50 PM
"I'll tell you why STAR TREK: INSURRECTION is the most successful Trek movie." There is no reason to read any further after that line. If this guy really believes that and doesn't like the movie that means I'll probably love it.
Nope, sorry.... by REDD	Jul 21st, 2008 01:37:07 PM
The X-Files is the title to both movies, the rest - tagline. A movie tagline is a branding slogan or memorable phrase, produced by overpaid marketing departments, which reflect the tone of the movie.
Godammnit by The Octagoner	Jul 21st, 2008 01:38:07 PM
I wish this review was wrong, but I've got a strong, strong feeling it's right.
not addressing the alien issue by juice willis	Jul 21st, 2008 01:39:52 PM
it's like ROTJ following up darth vader telling luke that he's is father with a story about luke... hell, man i don't even know...doing something that completely ignores that fact. nobody else is feelin this?
LOL..regarding Star Trek Insurrection by Jonah Echo	Jul 21st, 2008 01:40:31 PM
And I like how he says he liked the last few seasons(really, why???) and that the show was primarily camp. It was on occasion, but usually it was more satirical than campy, and the episodes done in a serious vein were also great. This sounds like that style, and honestly returning to the catholic church, the religious supernatural and Mulder and Scully is a perfect route for the X-Files to take. Outside of the reviewer's whining, the actual stuff he says about the movie doesnt sound bad.
Did Any Real Fan EXPECT This To Be Good? by barneyshouldbeputdown	Jul 21st, 2008 01:43:40 PM
The stills they've released have been boring. The trailers have been pretty boring. It's THE X-FILES. They could cut an amazing/suspenseful/intriguing movie trailer for almost any single episode of the show. We haven't gotten any of that. In the stills, they've given us various ANGLES on the same still. Marketing is all about creating heat, but this one's a stinker, and probably the death of the franchise. Fox probably has known that, and trying to mitigate the notoriety of the damage all along. I hope this isn't the case, but there's been no evidence whatsoever to the contrary. Chris Carter is insulated and out of ideas. His wisest move would've been to hand the franchise off to someone with real passion, who wasn't doing it simply because he/she had nothing else going on.
Insurrection and last 2 Seasons? by sott68	Jul 21st, 2008 01:44:04 PM
This totally disqualifies this review. Insurrection was horrid, made me hate TNG more. Gay movie. Last 2 seasons were so bad that I stopped watching - a guy who never missed an ep since day 1. I lost interest when the guy ate Patrick and vomited him back to life.
X FIles Camp? by Thunderbolt Ross	Jul 21st, 2008 01:44:15 PM

by Thunderbolt Ross	Jul 21st, 2008 01:44:38 PM
That wasn't my impression
"A Tagline is a quotation of dialogue" by REDD	Jul 21st, 2008 01:44:42 PM
Yes, remember when Ripley said "This time, it's war" in "Aliens". Oh wait. Yeah, yeah, I read your entire explanation.
i feel.. by chokinonrhodes	Jul 21st, 2008 01:45:42 PM
..my balls turning blue on this one..oh please please don't suck.
It might be bad, but lets wait until by Jonah Echo	Jul 21st, 2008 01:48:14 PM
some real reviews come along. This one simply doesnt count. If the next five reviews all proclaim it crap, this review still won't matter because it will have taken five reviews to prove it. If this had been Mori out of the gate, with examples, then at least we would have a starting point to take seriously(though even M isn't always right, Love Guru?) This is nothing.
so, I'll take it's not as good as TDK? by RaveX	Jul 21st, 2008 01:51:53 PM
is it?
Latauro's another one of these d-bags... by IAmJack'sUserID	Jul 21st, 2008 01:54:46 PM
...that's so retarded he thinks throwing out crazy batshit notions like "X-Files is camp" and "ST - Insurrection is the most successful Trek movie" are genius just because HE said it. I really don't like this guy, and that's saying a lot considering the site he "writes" for.
So...uh...where the fuck does the WEREWOLF come into play? by Mike_D	Jul 21st, 2008 01:54:48 PM
i'm confused.
Well...I'll be... by REDD	Jul 21st, 2008 01:56:34 PM
According to Wikipedia, a subtitle is "an explanatory or alternate title of a book, play, film, musical work, etc., in addition to its main title." So it's "The X-Files: Believe Again" with the tagline "I Want To Believe"? Okay, great, we're all on the same page now!
'And then I started to get it. It was camp.' by DrAstroZoom	Jul 21st, 2008 01:58:16 PM
No, it wasn't. And no, you didn't. And thus was the "back" arrow pressed.
Paint me crazy but... by Frankenbastard	Jul 21st, 2008 01:59:40 PM
It sounds like he really didn't care for the show all that much to begin with. Thats like saying "oh i know plan 9 is a shitty film, but i get that it's shitty". BTW as crappy as Plan 9 was at least it's paced better than most films nowadays.
This was dead before the first frame was shot. by HoboCode	Jul 21st, 2008 02:01:31 PM
Xibit? Non arc storyline? Carter directing? No one caring anymore? Aged, dwindling stars? Zero marketing? Zzzzzzzz....
So, do the Lone Gunmen... by REDD	Jul 21st, 2008 02:02:55 PM
make an appearance? Frank Black? Skinner? Superintendent Chalmers?
Anybody seen Richie? by Motoko Kusanagi	Jul 21st, 2008 02:04:13 PM
I'm gonna keep coming back until someone REMEMBERS seeing Richie!
Never got the fanboy/fangirl drool over TV show by crankyoldguy	Jul 21st, 2008 02:05:13 PM
Never got the fanboy/fangirl drool over TV show. I watched it on and off, but never became invested in the characters. Of course, I was pissed off at Fox early on, because X-Files debuted the same year, same night, back to back with Brisco County Jr. and Fox decided they could only keep one of the shows going and of course, choose X-Files. Brisco is so watchable again and again as a DVD set. I can't imagine the same holds true for the X-Files Seasons. Sure, there were some episodes where I though, "oh, that was interesting." But then came that feature film, which to me, was a big nothing, Kinda boring in spots, with no real payoff, just a load of red herring plots pasted together. Now if you're a giant fan, more power to you, go see the new one and I truly hope it meets your needs. But for me, X-Files wasn't even in my Top Ten for the '90s. Of course all our lists and personal viewing mileage will vary. This new movie's a Netflix rental for me down the road. That's it.
Motoko Kusanagi by Sailor Rip	Jul 21st, 2008 02:06:32 PM
Alright look, I saw Ritchie, he had a fucking corkscrew stuck in his head.
Nosferatu and that revewer by LT	Jul 21st, 2008 02:07:31 PM
are complete idiots and douchebags. Nothing compares to the chemistry between Anderson and Duchovny. This film will be loved by X-Philes. Fanboys at AICN should STFU already - the show was always too complex for your tiny brains.
Oh shit, it was Ri"t"chie I saw... by Sailor Rip	Jul 21st, 2008 02:07:34 PM
...it might not be the same Richie you're looking for. Nevermind.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO by Subtlety	Jul 21st, 2008 02:11:12 PM
I had real hope for the series based on the trailers, and just the fact that they're doing it. Why do it at all if they don't care? Still... the fact that Chris Carter wrote and directed it is enough to make me believe this review is potentially spot-on. As much as I love the man for creating the show, he's George Lucas all over again. Great vision, horrible with the details (many of the stupidest episodes with the worst writing can be attributed to him). Still... I want to believe!
Not Surprised by BRUTICUS	Jul 21st, 2008 02:11:19 PM
that was a garbage trailer, very boring and infact made me not want to see the movie.
Another review,a positive one.. by Jonah Echo	Jul 21st, 2008 02:17:31 PM
This one over from Movie Hole. I don't know what cred this person has, but they write better than Lautaro, and someone might say "Movie Hole" how do we trust them? I saw this is AICN and this is the australian reviewer, so this review(while also likely not entirely accurate) is just as legitimate as the one posted.. http://www.moviehole.net/2008/ 07/21/x-files-is-back-says-tos ia/
ALIENS vs. X-Files... by Sailor Rip	Jul 21st, 2008 02:19:39 PM
... "Hey Skully what is that little thing crawling around in the corner." Shines flashlite on FACEHUGGER. Thwap! "Oh shit Mulder, there's something on your fa- Thwap! Roll credits. Yes, I've been around real facehuggers, not those pussy one's in zoos, when they attach to you it makes a Thwap! sound.
this looks bad. by BMacSmith	Jul 21st, 2008 02:20:58 PM
so no aliens this time out, eh?
No aliens, thank God. by LT	Jul 21st, 2008 02:25:30 PM
The producers said that for the past nine months. Were you under the rock?
I've seen the film too... by Messiahman	Jul 21st, 2008 02:25:42 PM
And Latauro's right. The worst part is the fact that it's little more than a freaky medical mystery -- the only vaguely supernatural bits are Connoly's psychic antics. This is not only the biggest misfire of the summer -- it's also the final nail in XF's coffin. I was at a critic's screening, and the reaction was almost uniformly similar -- expect quite a few more terrible reviews.
STRAIGHT TO DVD? by Mullah Omar	Jul 21st, 2008 02:26:41 PM
If not, why?
M:I:3 had a decent opener by SpencerTrilby	Jul 21st, 2008 02:26:53 PM
the next 100 minutes were an abomination. TV guys are the shit now because of the boom of the syndicated and cabled TV shows since the late 90's, but I don't remember any of them carving a mark in the genre movies. Their so-called "revolution" is just a marketing joke. JJ Abrams may be a sly writer, but his ugly, cheap TV tricks stuck out like a sore thumb on the big screen. And he can't direct actors for shit.
Hey, pretty good review. by MorbidObesity	Jul 21st, 2008 02:28:39 PM
That "faster than a metaphor" line was kind of a clunker, but otherwise, very fun to read. And, sadly, believable. Everything about the casting suggests this thing should've debuted as a special event on FX.
Camp doesn't take itself seriously by Samuel Fulmer	Jul 21st, 2008 02:30:43 PM
The X-Files always felt like it took itself very seriously. Now whether people took it seriously is another story.
And REDD deserves... by MorbidObesity	Jul 21st, 2008 02:32:09 PM
...some kind of award for the most blatantly wrong posting in the history of AICN. That's some accomplishment.
Likes insurrection; likes season 9.... by The Eskimo	Jul 21st, 2008 02:33:19 PM
...OK this guy's credibility is lacking, and how about a spoiler alert on a couple of items. That being said, I am not 100% convinced this guy (or anyone here who claims to have seen this movie is on the up-and-up). How bout some details like how and where you got to see it? Was it released early on limited screens or in another country....or was this one of those "test screening" you to get invited to on your way out of another movie. I want to believe (not intended) but a lot of your review includes details and leaks that can be found on the web.
MI:3..Not good, but boy was it praised in '06 by Samuel Fulmer	Jul 21st, 2008 02:33:57 PM
Sure it was a step up from MI:2, but that didn't take much. The only decent one was #1, and that's got more to do with Brian De Palma's direction than anything.
I Don't Know What's Worse... by Tipsy McStagger	Jul 21st, 2008 02:34:24 PM
That this movie apparently sucks or that Latauro paid money to see Billy Connelly live.
Latauro thinks if he thinks it's corny, it's "camp". by IAmJack'sUserID	Jul 21st, 2008 02:35:20 PM
What a self-absorbed douchebucket. He needs to do some research before trying to review anything.
Inserrection was a tonal catastrophe by TroutMaskReplicant	Jul 21st, 2008 02:35:31 PM
The only thing that could have made it worse would be Data urinating on Picard's head or Commander Ryker swinging on vines with alien monkeys. Like the bit where Data inflates himself, it's Star Trek not Futurama!
Jonah Echo... by Subtlety	Jul 21st, 2008 02:37:04 PM
thanks for the link. Glad to hear that someone enjoyed it... for the sake of balance if nothing else. Considering that Laureto or whatever says such really bizzare things (X-files camp??? Love season 9??? Star Trek: Insurrection?!!?) I'm willing to discount this review as self-important dribble from someone who has a VERY different idea of what constitutes "good" than I do. Still.... it makes me worry.
Boston Legal is Camp by Samuel Fulmer	Jul 21st, 2008 02:37:10 PM
So's Ugly Betty. Batman from the '60's. I don't see how X-Files fits.
So it's another reason to see TDK again this weekend. by disfigurehead	Jul 21st, 2008 02:37:37 PM

O'Quinn actually played THREE characters in the X-Files universe by Nasty In The Pasty	Jul 21st, 2008 02:37:58 PM
He played a police detective in the season 2 episode "Aubrey" (good one), the FBI agent who deliberately allows himself to be blown up in the first movie, and a Supah Soljah in the season 9 ep "Trust No. 1".
Billy Connely Vs. Howard Hessman by Samuel Fulmer	Jul 21st, 2008 02:38:30 PM
Maybe we'll get Head of the Class re-boot where they have a death match to see who gets to teach the gifted kids.
X Files 3: The Search For Curly's Gold by Tipsy McStagger	Jul 21st, 2008 02:40:33 PM

In fairness, did anyone think this would be good? by TroutMaskReplicant	Jul 21st, 2008 02:41:26 PM
The first X-Files film was plot hole city. They decided to blow up the infected corpses? Eh, ever heard of an incinerator?
TDK FTW! by DarfurFTW	Jul 21st, 2008 02:44:54 PM

I agree about Star Trek: Insurrection by Nico Toscani	Jul 21st, 2008 02:47:28 PM
As far as TNG movies, it most closely resembled an average episode of the show. If by success, you mean acurately translating the show into a feature, Insurrection did it better than the others. That's not to say it's actually good, just a successful translation.
XXX Files 3: State of the Union by Samuel Fulmer	Jul 21st, 2008 02:47:58 PM
With Ice Cube as Scully.
Connolly used to be a comedian... by jimbubble	Jul 21st, 2008 02:50:01 PM
...in the 70`s and 80`s then people got bored of him telling the same jokes again and again and again and again.... Apart from Mrs Brown he has done hee haw of any note in any film since! His part as a dirty beast will go down well with the Irish/scottish soccer team he claims to support! Big Billy Knew ;-)
four characters in the xfiles uni for OQUINN by Jonah Echo	Jul 21st, 2008 02:51:29 PM
you forgot the Millenium character. Frank Black mets Scully and Mulder in season 7
MorbidObesity by REDD	Jul 21st, 2008 02:55:08 PM
Which posting? I had more than one.
Best Movies that Continued a TV series by Samuel Fulmer	Jul 21st, 2008 02:56:12 PM
Star Trek II and even though it's a prequel (or is it??) Twin Peaks Fire Walk With Me.
My Two Dads the Movie by Samuel Fulmer	Jul 21st, 2008 02:58:52 PM
Now there's one we're all waiting for.
o'quinn was dead by the time frank met mulder and scully by Bouncy X	Jul 21st, 2008 02:59:22 PM

Family Matters the Movie by Samuel Fulmer	Jul 21st, 2008 02:59:45 PM
Because we need to see how Urkel's character arc plays out.
Just the Ten of Us the Movie by Samuel Fulmer	Jul 21st, 2008 03:00:19 PM
Dad is now balder and fatter.
Full House the Movie by Samuel Fulmer	Jul 21st, 2008 03:01:18 PM
As long as none of the cast members are in rehab.
Latauro's first paragraph... by thekylegassproject	Jul 21st, 2008 03:01:27 PM
...makes this review null and void to me. "quasi-ed wood campy"..."not a serious show"... what the fuck?
Perfect Strangers the Movie by Samuel Fulmer	Jul 21st, 2008 03:01:42 PM
Balki and Larry finally get married.
Growing Pains the Movie by Samuel Fulmer	Jul 21st, 2008 03:06:04 PM
See which Seavers get Left Behind.
We don't pay ticket prices to see a ST-TNG episode... by IAmJack'sUserID	Jul 21st, 2008 03:06:16 PM
on the big screen! It's a movie for goddamn sake! It should feel like a movie, not a cheap ass, scopeless episode that will be watched and forgotten in no time. Idiots.
Auto Man vs. Manimal by Jonah Echo	Jul 21st, 2008 03:06:18 PM
With a scene where Kolchak shows up and attempts to kill them both.
Nip/Tuck: The Movie by REDD	Jul 21st, 2008 03:06:44 PM
Free Rhinoplasty to the first 10 ticket holders!
My Favorite Camp show by Samuel Fulmer	Jul 21st, 2008 03:07:14 PM
The NBC Nightly News
I would watch a "Mad About You" movie by Second Try	Jul 21st, 2008 03:07:37 PM
X-Files just suuuuuuuuuuuucked in the 90's.
Chris Carter the new George Lucas by Samuel Fulmer	Jul 21st, 2008 03:10:34 PM
Instead of Jake Lloyd and Ahmed Best he gives the audience Billy Conolly and XZibt.
IAmJack'sUserID... by REDD	Jul 21st, 2008 03:11:29 PM
Has a point. Why didn't they just do this as a movie special on Fox? With all of the competition out there (plus, people watching their money more closely because of the economy) it probably wont do that well. Oh well, movies these days are like commercials for the eventual DVD release.
Seaquest DSV The Movie by Samuel Fulmer	Jul 21st, 2008 03:12:02 PM
With more Talking dolphin backstory.
Family Matters movie would be good by Bouncy X	Jul 21st, 2008 03:13:49 PM
they could explain the mystery of the disappearing younger child. the little sister went upstairs one episde early on and never returned, we must find the truth.
The O.C. the Movie by Samuel Fulmer	Jul 21st, 2008 03:14:56 PM
That way the kid who was going to play the Flash in the dead (let's hope) mo-cap George Miller Justice League movie needs more stuff on his resume.
Another negative review..with SPOILERS by Jonah Echo	Jul 21st, 2008 03:17:07 PM
but I won't post it, just the link. It's from another source who has a bad rep for hating good stuff and praising crap(4 star transformers review in this case) and the reason for the hate seems to be this is barely supernatural in nature. I admit, that if they did this at all, they should have gone all out, but who knows. The plot sounds really out there, but it's going to come down to how it is handled. Follow this link if you want some more details to go along with your disappointment. Me, I want to believe. Ill be wanting to believe all the way until I see this thing and find out how misplaced or rewarded my faith was. http://www.scifimoviepage.com/ xfiles2.html
Family Matters Missing Kid by Samuel Fulmer	Jul 21st, 2008 03:17:20 PM
Maybe Billy Connolly got 'em.
Meh by Ray_Marden	Jul 21st, 2008 03:32:45 PM
I consider myself a fan ox The X-Files, but I could care less about this movie. What does the trailer show? Ice... FBI agents... Connolly bleeding from the eyes... Xzibit pimping somebodys ride... somebody under ice... It could easily be an episode of CSI, Law and Order, or any number of other shows. As a fan, I'm not even remotely interested. For all the lost fans or non-fans? This won't do a thing. This really annoys me, too, because Carter is essentially killing off The X-Files. Yeah, I realize this won't be a huge change, but there definitely won't be any other movies. And this is what he waited all these years to make? This is his big story to bring to the public? This is what he felt a great passion for? Uhhh...
"faster than a metaphor does something speedily" by Rebeck2	Jul 21st, 2008 03:41:24 PM
LOL. Well played, sir. Well played.
Samuel Fulmer, AMEN! by TheLastCleric	Jul 21st, 2008 03:41:26 PM
The original MI is the only worthy film. MI2 was crap and MI3 was just empty.
Latauro Could Be BOTH by barneyshouldbeputdown	Jul 21st, 2008 03:43:33 PM
He could be both a clueless hack when it comes to all things X-Files, AND he could also be RIGHT in his estimation of the movie's utter suckiness. And in context, if you read carefully, it seems like he was trying for irony in his comment about INSURRECTION. I don't think he means that it's actually the best Star Trek movie ever. If he did... well then, he IS an idiot, regardless of whether he's right or wrong on this movie.
i want to believe ..this is a hoax...but by earlfist	Jul 21st, 2008 03:46:33 PM
i've got a feeling this may be true. Chris carter was the fourth best writer after darin morgan, vince gilligan and the wongs. The later shows he wrote sucked the devils pecker so badly you could smell shit wafting from the screen as the episode played out. The whole vibe of this movie has been wrong since the rushed schedule, the dull trailers and that fucking awful photofit 2nd poster. the x files shone in episodes like beyond the sea bad blood jose chung or drive and it was great classic tv. When it sucked it was awful.the clip i saw on leno last week was really awful. Although duchovny did say there is a big surprise in store so maybe this is a hoax. There's not much in this review you could not of gleamed from other sources. But i am guessing that this is gonna bomb.
I'm not expecting a SFX-driven movie. by hank henshaw	Jul 21st, 2008 03:48:17 PM
Ever since they said what was the budget of this movie (30-35 million), all I thought was: "well, the story better be good, if they are going to release such a small movie in the middle of the summer." Again, even if the movie is good, I hope Chris Carter stays away from The X-Files next time (if there is a next time).
camp as Kenneth Williams??? by Celtican	Jul 21st, 2008 03:52:09 PM
Surely that's something a Brit reviewer would say surely! I call bollocks cause if you're ever ready Connolly's biography you'd know it would be HIGHLY doubtful he would play a paedophile.
SpencerTrilby by kwisatzhaderach	Jul 21st, 2008 03:54:22 PM
Totally agree. MI:3 was piss-poor, a low-rent remake of True Lies. Compare Abrams shot-up bridge scene with Cameron's. Game over man.
srsly mr. sinister by thekylegassproject	Jul 21st, 2008 03:58:01 PM
i agree. WHAT THE FUCK. what's with the x-files haters?
"And then I started to get it." by www.valiens.com	Jul 21st, 2008 03:58:21 PM
Ed Wood camp? No you didn't get it at all. So this review is meaningless. Tues. 29th 8pm I'll have an interview with Chris Knowles, author of "Our Gods War Spandex" and the new Official X-Files book coming in October. If anyone's interested, check it out at my namesake. We get into the X-Files a bit.
Ugh by EyeofPolyphemus	Jul 21st, 2008 03:58:38 PM
The Trojan condom ad under a review that mentions pedophilia so often is darkly funny.
Also have seen this.... by Imperium74	Jul 21st, 2008 03:58:40 PM
Not as bad as the reviewer made it out to be. The problem with the movie is that after too many years without it, X-Files doesn't come back like it should. Using the same formula as the TV series (That didn't have to do with the Black oil conspiracy) it attempts to sell us the same time of story line. They should have stuck with the alien, black oil storyline for this movie. Xhibit or whatever his name is, shouldn't have been in the movie, he's terrible, miscast and out of place. Seeing Moulder and Scully back together again was worth the price of the ticket. The story is ho-hum though.
Oops.... by Imperium74	Jul 21st, 2008 03:59:38 PM
Same type of storyline, not time.
I want to believe that by optimus122	Jul 21st, 2008 04:01:17 PM
Scriptgirls boobs are real , damn is she hot...yummy. Also even if this guy who did the review is an asshat I have no doubt that the movie will stink or be thoroughly average. Theres a reason Chris Carter has done nothing for a long time.
This supposed insider better be a jackass and he better be lying by MattHooper	Jul 21st, 2008 04:02:50 PM
I've been waiting for Carter to take the reins of this franchise and bring it back for a long time - I'm BIG BIG FAN of the Files, man. I really hope this is hogwashbullshitlies
DARIN MORGAN ROCKS MY WORLD by TroutMaskReplicant	Jul 21st, 2008 04:06:02 PM
In my dream fantasy universe I manage to persuade Darin Morgan to write a script for me to shoot. Did anyone read his unproduced script for The Nightstalker show, The "M" Word? It was silly but very funny.
this review makes me happy by theredtoad	Jul 21st, 2008 04:09:31 PM
Justification, baby. Stings, don't it?
I HAVE SEEN THE MOVIE TOO! by salamimansam	Jul 21st, 2008 04:09:36 PM
What I can't figure out is why they didn't flesh out the whole 'turd-burglar' elements. That was truly the most meaningful thing in the film. And the fact that Scully has sex with Mulder even though she is DEEP in a lesbian relationship is pretty hot, but also disconcerting. Point is, next time, for the next film: MORE TURD-BURGLARS! And less laser guns. C'mon, Carter, LASER GUNS? Are you kidding?
RE: SCRIPT GIRL by salamimansam	Jul 21st, 2008 04:11:39 PM
Any of you guys out there notice she has breasts? Two of them? Man. I wonder if she is aware of that fact. Pretty distracting....when I just want to check out the news of the hottest scripts in town, I get a semi-attractive chick with TWO breasts!
Latauro leaned back in his leather armchair by smackfu	Jul 21st, 2008 04:16:41 PM
and gazed into the fireplace, taking a deep inhale of his hickory pipe while brushing the ashes from his red silk smoking jacket, and gently mouthed the word "paedophile", blissfully self-satisfied that his obviously antiquated spelling of the word would differentiate him from the common reviewer. "Pae-do-phile..."
Latauro liked the last seasons of X-Files AND Insurrection by smackfu	Jul 21st, 2008 04:20:40 PM
I'm beginning to suspect he's really Herc.
"Latauro leaned back in his leather armchair" by www.valiens.com	Jul 21st, 2008 04:26:02 PM
That's the funniest thing I've read all day. Thanks!
Smackfu by Rebeck2	Jul 21st, 2008 04:27:46 PM
LOL to you too. I laughed out loud twice today on AICN, of all places - whoda' thunk?
Talkback Reactions with Vague SPOILERS by YND	Jul 21st, 2008 04:34:53 PM
1. As stated above, I found the film damned disappointing (and I'm a total X-phile, just re-watched the whole series from 1st to last ep a few years ago and thought X FILES: FIGHT THE FUTURE was pretty great). 2. Redd guy, it actually says "THE X FILES - I WANT TO BELIEVE" on the screen at the beginning of the film. I stand firm that this makes it a title. 3.) As far as recurring characters go, someone asked about the presence/absence of The Lone Gunman, Frank Black or Walter Skinner. I'll throw in Krycek, Doggett, Reyes and the Cigarette Smoking Man and say that only ONE of those characters appears in the film, and not until Act III. 4.)Yes, the film is barely supernatural. Connolly's psychic abilities are the only supernatural element of it, though the crime itself gets pretty nuts near the end (but deals more with the medical world than the supernatural world). 5. I hope these html paragraph tags work, or there's going to be a lot of junk in this post.
TOO EARLY!! ...Seriously, no one "misses" the X-Files yet. by Flim Springfield	Jul 21st, 2008 04:38:06 PM

List of people that could make a better X-Files story than Carte by hank henshaw	Jul 21st, 2008 04:38:44 PM
Anyone who knows how to hold a pencil.
oof, a bad review by newc0253	Jul 21st, 2008 04:57:02 PM
but i'll wait till i read a few more negative reviews from reliable sources before avoiding this at the cinema...
I'm afraid the reviewer is spot on... by SoupSpitter	Jul 21st, 2008 04:58:54 PM
... the motion lacks any passion or drama, it actually downsizes the TV to the level of a mildly entertaining two parter, and Carter can't direct worth two shits. But I also found some of the minor details disturbing: the bad guys are Russians, the perverts are gay, the only incompetent FBI agent also happens to be the only BLACK FBI agent, and the Catholic priest is a pedophile. I am sorry, that's just too much - and plain wrong...
As completely expected. by wcme	Jul 21st, 2008 04:59:04 PM
Seriously - in a summer with IRON MAN, DARK KNIGHT and so much else....a 2nd X-files film? 10 years later? With Scully looking like she is gaining on Sarah Jessica Parker? WHO really needs this film? Who expected it to do well? This is in the ball park of the Rush Hour 3 / Beverly Hills Cop 4 arena. Utterly no interest in seeing this film at all. Got 3 free tickets to see this via Best Buy for buying all 3 Outer Limits seasons last week. Don't have any idea what to do with them. On another note, while THE MUMMY films 1,2 and SK didn't interest me at all, the new MUMMY looks oddly interesting. You guys will have to get your pedophile black goo spewing fix elsewhere.
Fuckit by SoupSpitter	Jul 21st, 2008 05:00:02 PM
"movie", not "motion", and "TV series" instead of "TV". I gotta stop writing so fast...
Well, 2 Outer Limits seasons - 3 sets. by wcme	Jul 21st, 2008 05:00:53 PM
:) Wish I could have picked up HARSH REALM or THE LONE GUNMEN which were also at $12 each.
yeah but gillian by El Borak	Jul 21st, 2008 05:01:47 PM
with long hair is SOOO GOOD!!!
The 5 or 6 People Who Still Care Will Love It Anyways by LaserPants	Jul 21st, 2008 05:04:01 PM
So I reckon this movie will make at least $50 or $60 before it disappears into the cut-out bin of history.
Wait, I'm Being Unfair by LaserPants	Jul 21st, 2008 05:05:17 PM
Okay, okay, the 10 people who still care will love it anyway. I bet this movie is going to make at least $100! Just $300 more and Carter will be able to afford an XBox 360!
I cared. by YND	Jul 21st, 2008 05:06:51 PM
I did not love it.
Conversely, the people I saw it with did not care. by YND	Jul 21st, 2008 05:07:40 PM
And they liked it.
"Carter can't direct worth two shits"? by newc0253	Jul 21st, 2008 05:11:27 PM
i dunno but the first X-Files movie was directed by Carter, no? If this one is as good as the first, i'll be satisfied.
First X Files Movie directed by Rob Bowman by YND	Jul 21st, 2008 05:18:01 PM
But Carter did some good work with series eps.
Shit, I'm a huge X-Files fan and now I don't even want to see th by BillEmic	Jul 21st, 2008 05:19:07 PM
Who got the Catholic pedo-priest in my X-Files movie? This doesn't even sound like it's worth $8. I guess they kept the plot under wraps because they knew it a.) was offense and b.) sucks. What a waste. I used to be a huge fan of the show. Duchovny looks weathered as shit in this, though. Either that or just a really bad hair do that makes his forehead look massive.
If ScriptGirl says it was bad, then it is bad. by SkeletonParty	Jul 21st, 2008 05:19:32 PM

When I gave up on the X-files by wcme	Jul 21st, 2008 05:22:19 PM
While I liked Dogget and Rahyes in seasons 8 and 9, The final episode clearly illustrates that even when boxed into a corner, Chris Carter still could not clearly articulate in any way what the fuck any of the "Mythology" actually meant. 9 years of intertwined unintelligible hooha about oil and bees and packages and small pox and Indians and ice caves and future invasions could not come together into anything close to coherence. All the alien clones of Mulders sister, the babies in glass jars or all the auto erotic asphyxiations in 9 years could paint anything resembling a overall plot. One would hope LOST has been to the rodeo before and is keeping close watch, yet I have at least 50 bullet points that have been brought up and never seen again from 4 seasons, so I am not sure they have learned from the past at all. Good luck to all the lovers of mythology. If you tape an X on your window with duct tape maybe someone can come explain it for us in an underground parking garage. The times it worked were the NIGHT STALKER stand alone episodes. Yet, it seems that this also doesn't work after all these years. Oh well. At least we will always have the inbread hillbilies!
~~~~~ALIEN VS. PREDATOR VS. PEDOPHILE PRIEST -- whoever wins, we by The Marquis de Side 3	Jul 21st, 2008 05:37:06 PM
already this review tells me NOT to see the movie. not that X-FILES wasn't hot or anything, but why do I feel like this property is simply outdated? is it that the actors have aged? or that government conspiracies aren't simply new for us? guess it's like trying to ride an old tired horse...
whoever wins, we lose by The Marquis de Side 3	Jul 21st, 2008 05:37:34 PM
DANG! got cut off again! =0(
thats not scriptgirl. I demand to see the black box by Mr_X	Jul 21st, 2008 05:49:26 PM
it would make a change from the boobs, i' im kinda pervy like that if you know what i mean
really carter has been milking this series for years by Mr_X	Jul 21st, 2008 05:52:53 PM
the milk's gone bad!
WHERE DID YOU GET AN EARLY PRINT? by kolacek	Jul 21st, 2008 05:53:44 PM
I repeat: "WHERE DID YOU GET AN EARLY PRINT?" Put up or shut up.
W.HERE DID YOU GET AN EARLY PRINT? by kolacek	Jul 21st, 2008 05:54:47 PM
TELL US OR RETRACT.
WH.ERE DID YOU GET AN EARLY PRINT? by kolacek	Jul 21st, 2008 05:55:40 PM
TELL US OR RETRACT.
WHE.RE DID YOU GET AN EARLY PRINT? by kolacek	Jul 21st, 2008 05:56:26 PM
TELL US OR RETRACT.
I liked Insurrection by photoboy	Jul 21st, 2008 05:59:09 PM
Generations was crap, First Contact suffered from having all the exciting stuff at the beginning (although it was quite good) and Nemesis was the largest steaming pile of shit ever to have the Star Trek name attached to it. It even made Star Trek V look like Citizen Kane. Insurrection managed to capture the spirit of the show much better than any of the other films I thought, and did a decent job of giving all of the characters something to do. It wasn't the best Trek film ever, but it was still enjoyable. For the record, I've not seen the last seasons of the X-Files, but I thought it had gone to shit by about season 6 so I would have probably hated the last few seasons. They really should have planned their alien invasion arc better.
WHER.E DID YOU GET AN EARLY PRINT? by kolacek	Jul 21st, 2008 05:59:26 PM
TELL US OR RETRACT.
Whoa, Kolacek is having a breakdown. by PumpyMcAss	Jul 21st, 2008 06:18:52 PM
Movie's out in just a few days. You're obviously going to see regardless.
Dear Kolacek by SoupSpitter	Jul 21st, 2008 06:22:07 PM
Angry much? Nobody here HAS TO "tell or retract". If you don't believe the review is legit, don't believe it. However, there have been numerous press screenings in numerous countries (including one I attended), so there is no reason to believe that the reviewer has made it all up. Neither have I. One more thing I want to mention: "X-Files 2" is not only lacklustre as a feature film - even as a two parter of the original show it would look outdated and bland. Let's face it: storytelling techniques have changed over the last 15 years (24, CSI, BSG), and at best, this movie looks like an overlong episode of "Cold Case". And Mulder's beard looks fake as hell.
No Aliens, No Watchy by CrazyGnome	Jul 21st, 2008 06:30:34 PM
I watched x-files for the story arc. F the monster of the week. So boring. Bring back the alien invasion. Of course after this failure we won't see another X-files movie. Shame
Bad_Wolf by Jonas Grumpy	Jul 21st, 2008 06:44:27 PM
I'll shout "FIRST!" any goddamned time I want. Especially when I click on a brand-new article that has no talkback posts yet. Five seconds faster, and I would have actually been first. Bite ass.
Daemn, this sounds Raelly Raelly Baed by 18to88	Jul 21st, 2008 06:51:58 PM
Downright horraendous.
Anybody else miss Doggett? by Subtlety	Jul 21st, 2008 07:05:21 PM
I stopped watching on TV during season 7, which featured some really unforgivably stupid crap. The "resolution" to "the Sixth Extinction" was anything but... it was as if they'd forgot how they started the arc! What the fuck happened to the spaceship in Africa? Does anyone care? Also, the excretable "Rush" ... the profoundly stupid "First Person Shooter"... the incredibly lame "Fight Club" (both those two Chris Carter either wrote or directed), plus gimmicky "X-Cops," unnecessary sequel "Orison" and inexplicable (why now? why like this!?) "All Things". Add to those crushing failures a few servicable but staggeringly vanilla moster-of-the-week things ("Signs and Wonders", "Theef", "Chimera") and arguably the lamest imaginable ending to Mulder's missing sister (spoiler -- she was "taken by magic beings that live in starlight" are you FUCKING kidding me?!) and you've got a season that made me give up on the X-files. However, just this summer I went back and watched season 8 and 9 in time for the movie... and, strange to say... while Season 9 was pretty weak, season 8 is actually one of my favorites. Monica Reyes was a dumb character poorly acted, but Robert Patrick really works to sell John Doggett, and you know what? I think he's a terrific fit for the X-files universe, and an interesting character in and of himself. His relationship with a very strained Scully feels very legit to me (although, as usual, the Chris Carter episodes manage to get it all wrong... see his inexplicable asshole turn in "This is Not Happening" and "DeadAlive"). Anyway, I know Mulder and Scully are the classic team, but I'm sorry Doggett doesn't get some love now that its semi-hip to be an X-files fan again.
Sorry, You Lost Me at X-Files is Camp by DKT	Jul 21st, 2008 07:07:12 PM
I still want to believe.
Goodbye X-Files. by Epsilon	Jul 21st, 2008 07:11:26 PM
Guess we never get a resolution to the alien invasion. That's what they should have used this movie for. Just give all the fans who watched forever a suitable ending. But no, we get this crap.
P.S. Chris Carter, I'm glad Harsh Realm bombed. by Epsilon	Jul 21st, 2008 07:11:54 PM
Bastard.
If It's About An Ongoing UFO Conspiracy? by LaserPants	Jul 21st, 2008 07:26:15 PM
Yeah, its camp.
I look forward to reading Harry and Moriarty's analysis of XF2 by BDuncan	Jul 21st, 2008 10:38:24 PM
I look forward to reading both Harry and Moriarty's analysis of XF2, in terms of what they think it did wrong (if in case they also come out of it disappointed by it) and what they reckon it should've done a lot better.
Is it "The Happening" bad ? by G100	Jul 21st, 2008 10:39:47 PM
it certainly sounds like it will struggle on DVD never mind the big screen but just how awful could it be ?
TELL ME WHO YOU WORK FOR!!! by IAmJack'sUserID	Jul 21st, 2008 10:45:32 PM
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM CAPABLE OF!!!
WHERE DID YOU GET AN EARLY PRINT???? by IAmJack'sUserID	Jul 21st, 2008 10:47:22 PM
The only reason that you're conscious right now is because I don't want to read your crap. You are gonna tell me what I wanna know, it's just a matter of how much you want it to hurt.
Where does a priest take a child for a good time? by The Grug	Jul 21st, 2008 10:48:35 PM
To the edge of a cliff - they push back better.
I think I'm going to watch the WATCHMEN trailer again by Mace Tofu	Jul 21st, 2008 10:48:44 PM
The plot to this new X-files bums me out man...
Billy Connolly... by The Grug	Jul 21st, 2008 10:49:18 PM
you're great, but you make some strange choices in films.
Oh Grug, LOL by Mace Tofu	Jul 21st, 2008 10:50:23 PM
Old joke but that cheered me up.
Sounds like a snoozefest by kafka07	Jul 21st, 2008 10:57:32 PM
Chris Carter sucks. What do you expect?
NOT a HOAX by MileHigh	Jul 21st, 2008 10:58:25 PM
Saw the film Friday at the Fox Lot -- this review is dead on - very dissapointed - wanted to love it -- but didn't
at least they made a sequel while Scully is still hot by hamster factor	Jul 21st, 2008 11:18:02 PM
other than that this is a pointless movie. But at least Gillian Anderson can still remind me of why I kept rewinding the scene of her in her underwear in the pilot back in 93. She is like the anti Hillary - she made pant suits look sexy as hell
at least they made a sequel while Scully is still hot by hamster factor	Jul 21st, 2008 11:18:15 PM
other than that this is a pointless movie. But at least Gillian Anderson can still remind me of why I kept rewinding the scene of her in her underwear in the pilot back in 93. She is like the anti Hillary - she made pant suits look sexy as hell
at least they made a sequel while Scully is still hot by hamster factor	Jul 21st, 2008 11:19:28 PM
other than that this is a pointless movie. But at least Gillian Anderson can still remind me of why I kept rewinding the scene of her in her underwear in the pilot back in 93. She is like the anti Hillary - she made pant suits look sexy as hell
at least they made a sequel while Scully is still hot by hamster factor	Jul 21st, 2008 11:22:19 PM
other than that this is a pointless movie. But at least Gillian Anderson can still remind me of why I kept rewinding the scene of her in her underwear in the pilot back in 93. She is like the anti Hillary - she made pant suits look sexy as hell
FYI I submiited that comment ONCE... by hamster factor	Jul 21st, 2008 11:23:54 PM
....pretty messed up
Scriptgirl's catchphrase... by Gilkuliehe	Jul 21st, 2008 11:26:23 PM
Is awesome. It's the best one out there, seriously. So go to hell, Pondscum. And this has nothing to do with the fact that she has breasts. I swear. Oh and Latauro, I agree with this review, except with that "X-files is camp" crap. The episode with Peter Boyle is fucking amazing. (That metaphor bit made me laugh though, so peace)
You guys realise ScriptGirl is basically just a hired actor by Greenflame0	Jul 21st, 2008 11:56:20 PM
No offence against AICN readers who are big ScriptGirl fans, but do you realise she's very likely a hired actor (not a script analysis expert) whose paid to read those weekly podcasts that are probably written by a guy, as the site's domain is owned by a guy.
Am I the only one... by sidburnd1	Jul 22nd, 2008 12:17:25 AM
who thinks the priest looks like a poor man's john cleese?!
Greenflame0 by Gilkuliehe	Jul 22nd, 2008 12:20:54 AM
I want to believe.
Insurrection was a disaster by RosebudsStarfish	Jul 22nd, 2008 12:52:47 AM
I'll buy you a case of beer to hear this laughable explanation. Out of 10 Trek movies, the worldwide gross of Insurrection ranks as #5...so, epic fail on it being sucessful on the money making side. Maybe it's the most sucessful based on gross receipts vs budget...hmm....nope. It ranks 9th out of the 10 movies there. Matter of fact, Insurrection and Nemesis are the only two movies that didnt earn back at least twice their budgets. If you look at successful in terms of Trek movies that have the most actors who starred in both Amadeus and Scarface, then Insurrection is the clear winner.
Dogget was a good character... by JKrow21	Jul 22nd, 2008 01:20:43 AM
Still wasn't no Mulder.
60% on RT by LT	Jul 22nd, 2008 02:44:18 AM
and some great reviews from people who actually have brains. I'm so laughing at you, fanboys.
Vanderlay by half vader	Jul 22nd, 2008 02:58:48 AM
You obviously have no idea that Connoly was sexually abused by his Dad. I guess this role is some sort of catharsis for him. And fuck all you idiot BC haters. He was awesome in Fido, and Trinity was hot.
smackfu by bender7	Jul 22nd, 2008 03:53:29 AM
Latauro is Australian. Meaning he uses 'English' english - not 'US' English (AKA made up english). Paedophile is the right'English' spelling. It's correct spelling, not arrogance
Scriptgirl00 change your handle. It's getting droopy. by half vader	Jul 22nd, 2008 04:04:58 AM
"ScriptgirlOO". See? There you go!
X FILES 3: WE'RE SORRY by LaserPants	Jul 22nd, 2008 06:16:54 AM
Working title for part 3.
X FILES 4: WHO ELSE IS GOING TO HIRE DUCHOVNY? by LaserPants	Jul 22nd, 2008 06:19:19 AM
Who?! Thats the real mystery.
XFILES 5: THERE ARE STILL 2 OR 3 FANS LEFT by LaserPants	Jul 22nd, 2008 06:20:21 AM
Single women in their 50s?
XFILES 6: WE JUMPED THE NUKED SHARK FRIDGE YEARS AGO by LaserPants	Jul 22nd, 2008 06:22:11 AM
We made this on hand held camera for under $5.
Oh dear. :( by raw_bean	Jul 22nd, 2008 06:24:10 AM
I was looking forward to this, but only because it's X-Files, nothing in the trailers or anything grabbed my interest. And Latauro's opinions usually agree with mine, so colour me disappointed.
More reviews by Jonah Echo	Jul 22nd, 2008 06:57:55 AM
It's right down the middle now, but I actually am liking what I'm hearing on this, even the negatives. It sounds like a melding of Millenium and X-Files and honestly that suits me fine. We won't get slimy monsters this time, but I never expected that. It sounds compelling to me. http://www.rottentomatoes.com/ m/x_files_2/
smackfu by Lost Jarv	Jul 22nd, 2008 07:25:11 AM
it isn't that PAedophile is antiquated. It's that the us spelling is moronic. Also it's pronounced in many other English speaking countries as Pee-Doh-file. Not ped-oh-file. Especially when you think that it is from the...... trails off in boredom
Pondscum by Mavra Chang	Jul 22nd, 2008 07:28:31 AM
Hold on for a minute. I need to tell you something!
Been trying to catch you here this morning... by Mavra Chang	Jul 22nd, 2008 07:31:56 AM
Go to SG's Myspace. Look under the Myspace of Script Gal and read the posts of Nov-Dec. It's SG's and DiMuccio's own words. Then go to SG's post to Christian (was the newest one a bit ago) and read what she said to him about our AICN postings. It should interest you very much.
what did she say Mavra Chang by ingloriousjedi	Jul 22nd, 2008 07:35:14 AM
Is it her posting here? If it was she would have a black box I'm guessing..
This is funny by Mavra Chang	Jul 22nd, 2008 07:36:15 AM
Give me a moment to write it down.
ok by ingloriousjedi	Jul 22nd, 2008 07:39:13 AM

I'm pretty sure the one here is a fake, but anyway by Mavra Chang	Jul 22nd, 2008 07:40:29 AM
SG posted a response to a fan named Christian claiming that she has been romatically linked to her cousin (by us, I presume). However, if one reads the messages she and DiMuccio wrote to ScriptGal late last year, they both say that they are involved with each other in a non-relative way.
I wanted to get it out before it vanished by Mavra Chang	Jul 22nd, 2008 07:41:48 AM
Those Myspace postings have a way of disappearing or becoming private when too much interest is shown in them.
Looks shite.. by DiamondJoe	Jul 22nd, 2008 07:46:05 AM
..and can't see it being anything other than shite considering the first film was complete crap and the series totally jumped in its last few years. Having said that the comment regarding Insurrection renders the opinion of the reviewer null and void - it is a truth universally acknowledged that Insurrection is a supreme piece of shit.
I wanted to let you know... by Mavra Chang	Jul 22nd, 2008 07:46:41 AM
The cousin thing may be a comeback to downplay our discussions. Now you can see their own words while they are still up for public viewing. I won't be here next Saturday, so I was giving you the heads up today.
Script Gal is just a bystander, I believe by Mavra Chang	Jul 22nd, 2008 07:48:55 AM
She's another scriptwiter and I don't think she is further involved than that.
Thanks, Pondscum. by Mavra Chang	Jul 22nd, 2008 07:50:15 AM
Good thing you can read between the lines of my lousy typing this morning!
Don't know if it was mentioned above.. by Jonah Echo	Jul 22nd, 2008 07:51:54 AM
but the choice of role for Billy Connolly isn't necessarily that strange. It seems the story will deal with a priest attempting to repent of the pedophillia(I assume). Billy was sexually abused by his father for many years, something like five or six, if I recall. Taking a role of this nature might be tied to that. Or not. But it might well be more personal than not, and if so, than it's likely Billy isn't involved in some asinine stereotypical portrayal and it most certainly won't be a camp monster chase, but then X-Files was rarely ever that.
Understood. by Mavra Chang	Jul 22nd, 2008 08:02:53 AM
Thanks!
yes, but by Dijjot	Jul 22nd, 2008 08:12:02 AM
did they end it with Mulder dying from auto erotic asphyxiation?
X FILES 2: we want aliens, not alaskan werewolves or connolly by ironic_name	Jul 22nd, 2008 08:14:37 AM

Jack Colby by REDD	Jul 22nd, 2008 09:20:00 AM
Yeah, thanks, we (or I) figured that out (see my post about Wikipedia).
No News is usually... by Lauryn2000	Jul 22nd, 2008 09:30:38 AM
Bad news..even the commercial spots look sorry.It's funny because it doesn't seem like there's alot of buzz for this movie.Unlike the first movie,where they having a X-Files con(vention) type,in the major cities.I went to the DC one,the hype was out of this world.Unlike this one...
why no spoiler tags? by ArcadianDS	Jul 22nd, 2008 09:58:22 AM
Seems to me the death of Jesus Mulder would be a pretty big reveal. This is why reviews from idiots on the internet shouldn't be cut and pasted. An actual EDITOR should consider EDITING them. Y'know - like they have on other movie websites?
Pedophile priest, eh? by rev_skarekroe	Jul 22nd, 2008 10:03:55 AM
So you're saying it's a romance?
So much hate for Carter. But he created MILLENIUM! by DerLanghaarige	Jul 22nd, 2008 10:35:35 AM
One of the greatest shows EVER!
This rpassive-aggressive eview by LT	Jul 22nd, 2008 10:49:28 AM
and the idiotic responses to it - that's the real hoax.
Yes, he created MillenniuM by hank henshaw	Jul 22nd, 2008 12:27:40 PM
but he also managed to screw it up too.
MovieNet review says it's 4.5 out of 5 by batfunk	Jul 22nd, 2008 01:15:16 PM
Hopefully, Latauro's review of 'X-Files – I Want To Believe' is a hoax. I found this alternative review (see below) on Australia's MovieHole.net (http://www.moviehole.net/2008 /07/21/the-x-files-i-want-to-b elieve/). I so want them to be right! (BTW – it's a shame Harry's site is so quick to print a damning review without seeing the film. I found this review on the net the same day.) All the best, Tombombadil (UK) The X-Files: I Want to Believe The curtains close. The screen goes black. Cue the Mark Snow track. Six years after they merged with the pixels in the box, the feisty sceptic and the dry-humoured believer return to the forefront of our screens – and by golly if fervent “X-Files” fans aren’t drowning in a pool of their sweat by the time they sink into their cushy cinema seats, anticipating the reintroduction of agents Mulder and Scully . “If you build it, they will come”. Series creator Chris Carter, along with actors David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, dive back into a pile of manila folders for the highly-anticipated and long-awaited (the first draft was written in 2003) sequel to television’s greatest spook-serial. And like the first “X-Files” film – “X-Files: Fight the Future” – “I want to Believe” is an epic and imposing big-screen adventure, one that extends the theme’s of the series, whilst offering something for those that don’t know their Jeffrey Spender’s from their well-manicured men. It’s been a long time between drinks for Mulder and Scully, and so admittedly their big-screen reprisal doesn’t come without risk. Not that they don’t still have an audience out there – they certainly do, you only have to do a Google to see how many “X-Files” websites and forums exist – but like an overseas tourist in the front row of a pantomime, it has to stand-up. So many TV shows-cum-films simply disintegrate due to poor structure - even the “Sex and the City” movie loses points, because it didn’t think of anyone else but those that watched the show; in this day and age, you have to! - “I Want to Believe” has been more thought out than a triple-homicide. it’s a meticulously plotted and imaginatively crafted piece of filmmaking that’s considered everyone from the get-go. First a disclaimer: I love The X-Files. Always have… probably always will. They call us ‘X-Phile’s, and we collect anything and everything bearing the ‘X’ symbol – be it a DVD collection, CD soundtrack, pencil case or T-Shirt. So yes, it’s inevitable that whatever Chris Carter and company put together I was going to enjoy … but the question is: How much would I enjoy it? And could the film work for the non-fan? For the sake of the review, I’ve locked my bias in the basement. For the film to succeed I realize it has to do more than simply have Mulder and Scully admitting to their unspoken relationship (but that would be a good start). I don’t want to touch on the plot too much – it’s best to walk in fresh, without knowing every jump, jolt and bit of dialogue back-to-front before you see the film. What I will say is that it involves a disgraced priest (Billy Connolly), “Dr” Scully (Anderson) and her reclusive beau Mulder (Duchovny) and a series of kidnappings – which, as to be expected, isn’t the doing of your usual ‘snatch and grab’ villain. Filmed in beautiful Vancouver (the sequences shot in the snow look terrific) – where the series was shot for many years before relocating to L.A – “I Want to Believe” is a much smaller film than its predecessor, but no less thrilling. In fact, the intimacy of the storyline, and the central emphasis shifting from the ‘monster-of-the-week’ to the lead characters, might be an even more affecting stratagem than the conspiracy-centric ‘Fight the Future’. Carter knows Mulder and Scully back to front – he really does. This is where the two characters would probably be six years from the series – there’s no doubting that. He’s also aware that their relationship, not just careers, would’ve changed since we last saw them – and welcomingly announces the duo as a couple from the get-go. And how could he not? The undeniable chemistry, not just between Mulder and Scully, but the actors that play them, is harder to hide than a slab of beer at an underage disco. Fans will be pleased with the number of sweeter scenes - scenes that wont leave you doubting the status of their relationship (and don’t leave before the end of the credits, as you will miss a fun little surprise that will make you smile). Anderson shines as the long suffering Scully, still equipped with the huge heart we saw in the series, but also some newly-added gusto (she has balls!). Scully feels a little more grown and developed as a character while Duchovny’s Mulder has pretty much remained stagnant – but probably by design (once a believer, always a believer). Though it’s clearly the ‘Mulder and Scully’ show – and rightfully so – Carter has assembled a terrific support cast. Amanda Peet (“Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip”, “The Martian Child”) and rapper Alvin ‘Xzibit’ Joiner are the most noticeable of the new additions – she as Agent Dakota Whitney, he as Agent Mosley Drummy. Billy Connolly, as the disgraced priest Father Crissman, once again proves his versatility as an actor by taking on a role that’s about as fun as Cancer (Man). It’s also quite an accomplishment for an actor to play such a dislikeable character and yet not be seen ostensibly evil in the audience’s eyes. Fans of the show will love it – there’s lot of in-jokes, cameos, and, of course, some surprises in store story-wise! – And I don’t see those off the street having a problem with the flick either. They’ll be sure to be drawn into the thrilling plotline and won’t feel too much of an alien in this unfamiliar terrain - anything they need to know can be explained in an easy sentence (Previous knowledge is not required as much here as it was in the previous film “Fight the Future” – it really is a great stand-alone piece) Yes, the overall ‘X-File’ of the plot is a little wacky – they probably could’ve toned it back a bit, and it still would’ve worked just as well – and Duchovny is constantly overshadowed by Anderson (and no again fault of his, it’s merely the fact that the writers have chosen to evolve the character of Scully – more so Mulder; and that’s probably been the intention since day one) and devoid of a lot new to do, but they’re merely tiny holes in a grand ship – steered in style by the masterful Chris Carter and long-time cohort Frank Spotnitz. “The X-Files: I Want to Believe” isn’t just a love letter to X-Philes, it’s a tremendous film in it’s own right – in fact, it might be just be the best film of the year! Believe it! Our Score: 4.5 out of 5
Pondscum is right on target by thegreatwhatzit	Jul 22nd, 2008 01:31:37 PM
Scriptgirl and her cellar-dweller ally have been exposed for their fraudulence. Sure, some repressed fanboys--all appendages of the Norman Bates litany--will rhapsodize about her boobs (heaven forbid they should address a woman in real life; guys, ALL women are heirs to tits). But the facade is over, thanks to vigilance of Pondscum and other talkbackers who were just tired of the bullshit. "Jackvance" has been exposed as a hack whose pathetic track record would exorcise the presence of any respectable woman (trademark line: "You want fries with that?"). Anyway, I'm sorry that the latest X-FILES is a disappointment; it'll be on DVD in a few weeks with the "provocative alternate ending" (worst abuser of this cliche was SHUTTER--the "shocking alternate ending" was a few seconds of a woman, departing from a mental ward, which was added to the original ending. By the way, the film sucked).
The Truth Stopped being out there for me a long time ago by Elorna	Jul 22nd, 2008 02:16:25 PM
When I heard about this film, I expected it would be crap and from the reviews leaking out, apparently I was right. It sounds like they pulled out an unused script and rewrote it for the big screen and decided to appeal to the Grey's Anatomy fan base by romanticizing the show.
You think X-Files is camp? Latauro, you're a fucking

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You'll Want to Believe Latauro's Review of X-FILES 2 Is a Hoax...