A: Probably not this.

Seriously, this trailer looks like it might be a reasonably entertaining action flick. I guess we could all be suprised and it turns out it's like the next PITCH BLACK or something. But somehow i doubt it.

When is this getting released here? Honestly, why not drop it off in late August or September. If they market it right, they can make their money back. It couldnt have cost that much right?

One thing we haven't gotten this whole summer long was a decent monster/horror movie.

So, do we get a chance to go out and support it, or one day Ill be scanning Netflix, and due to my disturbingly high ratings of The Relic and Dragonheart, it will kick this out, and I'll realize it's been on video for months.

1: Gaint croc eats bear.

2: Betty White tells Gleason if she had a dick she would tell him to suck it. Words cannot express how I felt when I first saw that scene.

Sci-fi often tries for that vibe but misses. See Mammoth for instance, that should have been greatly entertaining with Tom Skerrit and a resurrected alien mammoth, but sadly...no.

And since Im trying to keep track of the all the potential schlocky pleasers, is Trick R' Treat coming this October?

Actually if you want to see a mutated livestock flick that is actually creepy and delivers a B-movie good time, rent Isolation. Seriously. Danny, did you see it?

Quote: "I wish the Anaconda had turned its attention to the director and producers."

"We all know anacondas eat a big meal once and that's enough for a month. This one had the furvor of a vaccumm cleaner salesman working on commission."

Great stuff.

Personally I like to watch the movie drunk and root for the snake.

He also pissed on a preist who was screaming 'Yes!Yes! Thank you!'

Wow.

Oddest part of Rawhead is when he yokes that woman out of the trailer and her dress comes off, and he's waving a naked screaming women around with that "why is the food acting up" look on his face.

Can't leave Charles Band out of the conv. Subspecies? Good lord!

And since we are talking Barker, how bout Nightbreed. Now that was a fine horror movie.

And it's based on a stephen king short story no less.

And here is finally one I NEED help on.

Don't know the title, but recall seeing the cover many times. It had a cat with a little creature bursting forth from it's head. And no, I don't mean the cover art looked like that(some will be tempted to say Cat's Eye, but I know and own that one). This one had the creature emerging from the cat's mouth I think.

Was it called Bubba? Just remember how they all look the same except for the cover art.

I've seen Night of the Demons. Don't recall that cover art. Should check though.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt00 93990/

I'll be all over this when it releases on DVD.

But the funniest thing was the other title of the movie: Bacon Bits!

Holy shit I spit water on my keyboard...

frankentein Unbound-talk about a B movie. Corman's last directed flick.

Obviously Professor Broom.

Alien.

1984.

The Storyteller.

All the Little Animals. Ever see this? Christian Bale as a messed up young guy trying to evade his scary stepfather, whom he refers to as "The Fat" and Hurt as a crazy hermit with a dark past who buries the animals that get hit on the highway.

Jebus I'm tired today. Coffee ran out hours ago.

What happened with the mock 2012 script?

I'm such an easy movie whore to please. I should be a studio plant. Seriously.

Limbs hacked off alone does not make the movie watchable for me.

Fred going to see Batman tonight Fred give details tomorrow.

Danny, I'll check out Pathfinder per your comment. What the heck. I sat through Failure to Launch, how can anything be any worse?

Don't bother with payment, just mail me Megan Fox. Plus custard. Yeeeeaaaaah.

And I hope John Hurt gets a scene where someone says, "Wise elder! you're bleeding!". And Hurt, badass that he is, turns and mutters, "I aint got time to bleed." :D

That Irish priest and his potty mouth. One of the funniest (and most amateur) 80s schlock horror movies I ever saw - fucking LOVED it! Reminds me of the classic CELLAR DWELLER too.

Now we need a proper remake of GHOULIES. Charles Band and the Chiodo Brothers (bring back Officer Mooney! KILLER KLOWNS 2: CARNIVAL BOOGALOO!) need to come back and get to make big budget movies. THAT would be the shee-it.

Anyway - OUTLANDER. I am so there, with Skittles on.

I'm lost in orgasmic nostalgic glee right now. I ain't leaving the house til I finish my double creature feature of TROLL and TERROR VISION. The 80s fucking ROCKED!!!

Other movies I saw because of the cover, and they were so shit they were actually legendarily GREAT:

Jack Frost (NOT the Keaton one - the ice-based serial killer one). Cellar Dweller. THE WRAITH (which was so, so great - Charlie Sheen ROCKS). Robot Jox. Eliminators (Mandroid and Ninja. MANDROID, for fuck's sake!!!). Starchaser - The Legend of Orin. The Lamp. Society (still the greatest Yuzna movie EVER, and the best work Screaming Mad George EVER did). Troll. Terror Vision. The Creeps. Puppet Master. The Monster Squad. Ghoulies. Critters.

Shame there's barely anything these days keeping up that grand tradition. James Gunn's SLITHER hit it square on, and epics that take-it-seriously-even-though- you-KNOW-the-makers-and-cast-k now-how-stupid-it-all-is such as DARKNESS FALLS, JEEPERS CREEPERS and THEY deserve warm mentions as the little movies that tried. But we really need the Chiodo Brothers, Charles Band, Sean S Cunningham, Entertainment in Video, Dino De Laurentiis, Cannon AND Golan-Globus to even BEGIN to resurrect the cheesy majesty of the small-town video store epics of the great and mighty 1980s. Hell, I wish movies these days had that sense of balanced self-awareness and good humour. Too much post-modern "irony" (that barely qualifies under the name), seriousness around inherently silly subjects (I'm talking about YOU, Nolan and Bale) and a complete lack of originality are killing these kinds of movies. I mean, Michael Bay and Platinum Dunes are killing our beloved schlock-horror genre stone cold dead! Have you seen that abortion, THE FOG? FUUUUUUCCKKKK!!!!

Two things will console me tonight: I have, but haven't yet watched, Q: THE WINGED SERPENT - on aged 1980s ex-rental VHS, no less - and will devote the weekend to that movie plus Corona. Secondly, that this treasured sub-genre will never die. Not while quailty dreck like OUTLANDER is released for us to lap up like the rabid fanboys (and girls. GIRLS!) that we are. I cannot wait.

The second one? Eeeehhh, not so much...

And yes- had that concept car been produced, I'd STILL be driving it. Wearing a Wraith suit.

Once where the girl tells him that the dog doesn't like him and he says it's cool he doesn't like him either. All of the sudden he turns around very quick and has mutated to scare it. I jumped then and when he looks down the long staircase and the female bat flies up.

Also had the driver eating bugs after he said their scientific name. When he got killed he spilled out the bugs. Good times!

And yes - remakes are the spawn of the devil. I watched every single Freddy Krueger movie from 4 onwards at the cinema - and the thought of an Elm St movie sans Englund, Craven or Langenkamp is completely fucking incomprehensible to me. Without them, there is no Elm St. Despite what Michael Bay's insatiable wallet might think.

It looks pretty cool. I like the concept.

Just pray Hollywood doesn't start pumping out a whole genre of (Future Other World meets Old Earth Past) movies.

You know it's going to happen.

This little group we have going is the best thing to ever happen to AICN. We can take any TB and make it number one with worthwhile chat.

Harry and Mori need to throw any and all shit subjects at us and we'll rule that bitch.

Oh, and Jane Badler is teh hotness. Easily the best reason to keep rewatching V, over and over again...

Was ROLLERBALL really that bad? I did finally get to see it, after reading years of absolutely evil reviews of it (not ONE good one), so I was really expecting a Godawful movie when I saw it. But, with the exception of Chris Klein (who was fine in the movie, but looks too clean-cut and nicey-nicey to be the badass James Caan was) the cast were good (Rebecca Romijn in leather!!!) and the action was okay. Hey, I did have a fever when I saw it, but it was watchable - I wouldn't buy it on DVD or anything, but certainly not the shitfest I expected.

But yeah - Brosnan's the man. He can even star in chick-shite like MAMMA MIA! and come out smeeling of roses. He definitely the man.

Even then OUTLANDER II: THE QUICKENING won't be a fraction as bad as HIGHLANDER II. NOTHING could be that bad...

Seriously, call yourselves movie fans? learn to understand basic cinema first. Then open your mouths. It's supposed to happen over several months of overland travel from fucking Arabia to the Netherlands. Morons.

And you mentioned Mutant. Nice.

Have you seen Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things? Highway to Hell? Endless Descent? The Guardian? The Pit? The Willies? The Cellar? Basket Case? DefCon 4? Spacehunter in Forbidden Zone? Wizards of the Lost Kingdom?

Well, as expected Michael Sragow panned Batman here in Baltimore. It's all good though. He gave Fantastic Four a good review when it came out.

a variation on the backseat killer legend.

Emilio Estevez as a kid who plays too many arcade games.

Lance Henrickson as a faithless preacher who battles a big black car cross country.

one where the dad from Mr. Boogedy has to save his family from an ENORMOUS rat.

ANYONE see this?

HAPPY PEOPLE LIVE FOREVER, HAPPY PEOPLE NEVER DIE!"

What the fuck is wrong with some of you lot?

Monica Belluci= Undercover vatican hooker. What's not to like?

Martial arts, incomprehensible plot, cheesy fucking acting (stupid hairy fish story leaps to mind), bizarre incest subplot, bonesword cum chain thingy. It's great.

I love these.

Alligator is fucking great.

BBC2 used to run this great cult movie programme called Moviedrome. Alex Cox (dude that directed Repo Man) would pitch up and introduce a double bill of some of his favourite cult movies. I saw so many fucking classics (Death Race 2000, Alligator, The Warriors, Videodrome- to name a few) when I was young because of this epic programme. There was no thematic sense to his picks- he just put on 2 films that he liked. But his intros were legendary

I wish they would bring it back. It was fucking great.

My B-movie knowledge is lacking outside of stuff from the 50s and 60s so I can't contribute much here if that's our course. I saw my share of schlock in the 80s but only saw the majority those films once so I don't remember much.

Terrible and not in a good way. The cover had a picture of Ms. Janus getting a seeing to from the Alien on it, but sadly the film never lived up to this.

Mctiernan needs to be beaten to within an inch of his life for that.

The best thing about Jack Frost was the holographic cover that morphed from good to evil snowman and made kids cry.

Brilliant.

I recently tried to watch Children of The Corn 4. It was not good. Not good at all.

On a more intellectual note- have you seen Baise Moi? it's fairly notorious here, but should be avoided.

Because it's crap.

Medicine Man disappointed the hell out of me. I remember walking out of a movie and seeing the large standup with Connery and Brasco and as seeing this was way pre-internet I hadn't heard anything about it but I saw the names McTiernan and Connery and blew my load in my empty popcorn bucket. One of my all time great disappointments.

My b-movie knowledge is mostly narrowed down to stuff like Deadly Mantis, The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms, When Worlds Collide, Forbidden Planet, It Came From Beneath the Sea, Earth vs. the Flying Saucers, you know, the usual suspects.

Trucks.

The Wraith.

Christine.

Killdozer

Maximum Overdrive

Duel

Joyride

Lance Henrickson portion of Nightmares.

A dark and foggy night...two hitchhikers amble along the side of the road at least 10 miles away from the nearest spot of civilization.

Cut to the shot of a tire motionless. All of the sudden it starts moving slowly along. No sound but the crush of gravel beneath rubber engineered for peak mileage and bone-crushing ability.

Cut to the hitchhikers who all of the sudden fill with an overwhelming sense of dread. A quick glance over their shoulders reveals nothing but a strange glow coming over the hill.

Pow! The roar of four tiny pistons springs to life, as evil has decided to ditch economy mode and summons both gas and electricity for a fatal leap onto the backs of the hapless kids.

Scene flashed between faces in headlights and economy dash display.

Words come onto the screen:

The Car Hybrid: Green is the new color of Death! Never has their been a more efficient killer...50 souls to the gallon.

It best movie of summer. Ledger is fantastic. From the very first time he appears on screen, you can tell he did something wonderful with the role. He inhabits the role. The movie is very entertaining and even the bigger is better did not fail in this one. There are plot holes, and some are larger than Fred expected in such a movie. They do not deter from enjoyment though. But on other hand they do emphasize that as great a summer movie as it is, it is still a superhero action movie that at time plays fast with the plot. Eckhart does great job, but Fred found the turn into two-face not quite as believeable as the movie tried to make it. Maggie, well, she not bad, she not make you forget Katie either. Problem with Maggie is that IMAX does her no favors. She is an average to plain woman, with a very good body. And while Fred try not to be superficial, her face tends to distract at times - at least in IMAX. That nitpicky though, and Fred almost ashamed to write that, because Maggie is a gifted actress. Bale is good, but his Batman voice at times is very irritating. This is not his movie though - which is strange for a Batman movie. But thems the facts. Freeman and Caine get some funny stuff, with Freeman getting the second biggest laugh of movie. The Nolans once again hammer home a theme. And while admirable that they are going for a coherent them in a comic book movie, they get a bit heavy handed, and just expect that it will be accepted because the say so - and not because the script was wriotten well enough to make it so. Don't get Fred wrong, there are great moments throughout the film when it all works, but occassionally... All that being said, it is a great flick. Very funny at times. Dark and suspenseful. Fred not love ending - it plot driven and has flaws Fred mentioned above, but still all in all it worthy to be mentioned as finest superhero movie ever. Fred not yet put it there - Fred needs to think some more on it. But it damn close.

How about Hideaway with Jeff Goldblum and Jeremy Sisto, where the killer comes back from hell and is linked to a man who died and picked up some entity on his way through the afterlife? That was a nutsy movie.

Fun fact is that Astin lives and teaches here in Baltimore at Johns Hopkins. And adorable nut if there has ever been one, and a great addition to schlock.

The Frighteners. The Killer Tomatoes epics. Addam's Family. Brisco County Jr. Mr. Boogedy. and a stint where he was Riddler twice on the 60s Batman, I guess when Frank Gorshin wasnt playing him.

Yes, that Mantegna scene had me rolling, partly because I don't know if the director was tryuing to be serious or where they drunk when they filmed it. Either way comedy gold.

I really hated Thinner.But Mantegna was nuts in it.

Maximum Overdrive is unintentionally funny.

The Dark Half is rather bland.

Needful Things WASTED Sydow as the Devil. That is a true CRIME.

Sleepwalkers had so much potential but was hardly better than "meh", despite my rooting for it seriously hard when it came out.

Pet Semetary 2: ugh.

Langoliers-gag.

Rose Red-yawn.

Desperation- hahahahaha!

Tommyknockers-eh.

Lawnmower Man-WTF?

The Mangler-never speak it's name again.

Secret Window-what do you get when you have crap but then add a BIG star? Crap with a star!

Return to Salems Lot-why?

Sometimes They Comeback-but sometimes they shouldnt.

The Devil's Gift-NOOOOOO!!!

Anyone recall Vamp?

And worse than that you forgot the fucking masterpiece that is MISERY.

Holy fucking shit- THE BATES in full fat psycho mode- james caan in varying degrees of pain.

Fucking awesome.

Anyhoo, off home to watch humanoids of the deep. See you tomorrow.

Brimley barrels through the wall, ignoring the door..

Brimley (wiping the sheetrock dust from his broad shoulders):"Yessir Mr. Hughes. What can I do for you?"

Hughes: "I want you to listen very carefully...Go down and pick up every hooker you can find that weighs exactly 111 pounds, stands five feet even and has true blonde hair. Then go up and get the Spruce Goose gassed and ready. We are heading back over Hepburn's house."

Brimley:"Do you want me to bring the soap, scrub brushes and condoms again?"

Hughes:"Oh these aren't for me my boy. I told Hepburn that it would rain live hookers tonight and I am a man of my word."

Brimley (who no longer finds any of this strange): "What color did you say for the hair?"

Hughes:"Blonde, yes blonde. Yes, very blonde. Blonde..."

Brimley (shakes Hughes back to his senses): "Sir I got it, we'll be ready by midnight."

Hughes:"Well done, Brimley. Well done."

The Dark Knight is a handsome, accomplished piece of work, but it drove me from absorption to excruciation within 20 minutes, and then it went on for two hours more. It's the standard-bearer for the school of comic-book movies that confuses pompousness with seriousness and popular mechanics for drama. It's scaled to be an urban epic about the deterioration of hope and possibility in Batman's hometown, Gotham City (standing in for all Western cities), but there isn't a single stirring or inspired moment in it.

Nolan's use of incessant tension music and gun-to-the-head jeopardy cheapens even the classiest bits. True believers may buy into the gloom and doom of The Dark Knight, but many of us will ask, with the Joker, "Why so serious?"

And this is the same guy who gave 3 star reviews to Semi Pro, Fantastic Four and a 2 star review to There Will Be Blood.

My old roomate didnt like the "realistic" approach and wanted more Burton stuff.

Me I was glad to get beyond Burton(while liking the work he did on it) for this particular franchise.

I guess we will have to see.

For example, I think that plenty of dark serious films don't deserve the accolades. In fact it was only this year that I felt No Country and TWBB actually were worth their salt. But neither of them holds an emotional candle to Babe: Pig in the City and I truly mean that.

"I like to sit naked in a tub of chili and drink...ahhh...7-Up."

And I laughed and laughed.

We're only behind by 10 or so posts. I can bring this thing back by myself with just the adventures of Hughes and Brimley.

Hepburn: "Yes, Oh hi darling! Marvelous, marvelous! Yes, midnight? I'll wave your favorite pink scarf hi from atop my balconey to signal my approval you knight in shining armor!"

Hughes:"Pilot to bombardier, pilot to bombardier!"

Brimley:"Roger!"

Hughes:"We're coming on target. Open the bay and get ready to release cargo!"

Brimley:"Aye cap'n."

With that exchange, excactly 111 hookers standing five-feet even and weighing exactly 111 pounds began to tremble as their naturally blonde hair starts whipping voilently in the now open cargo bay. Their legs are covered by involuntary bursts of fear-inducing diarrhea and unrine. Brimley gives a slight grin and rubs two fingers through his mustache. Then the screaming starts...

Brimley opens his mighty meathooks disguised as arms and begans herding the 111 hookers that weigh 111 pounds and stand five feet even.

Hepburn is taking her first sip of her White Russian made with pure goat's milk and exactly two ounces of vodka poured half an ounce over the period of two minutes (Hughes taught her that), when she hears the first thud.

Hepburn:"Hahaahaaaa! Come to Hepburn! Coooome to Hepburn!"

She fails to hear the screaming as she throws her head back and stands on her tiptoes as she trembles with a wet, orgasmic rush.

"I dont know if this means anything to you, but.."Get your sister's head out of the toilet before I crack your a** the other way."

I liked Vibes, though it's ending was lame. Also, Into the Night needs to have a back to back viewing with After Hours for maximum fun.

Also had a guy that could hit a button in his car and a neon finger would shoot up and flip people off behind him. Classic.

Plot: Peter Weller lives in a brownstone apartment with his wife Shannon Tweed(nudity there) and she and his son go out of town and leave him working on an important business deal. Then a big rat(not unnaturally large, but big) comes in and starts actually antagonizing him. Eventually it's a battle of wits between Weller and the rat, with Weller eventually going primal to stop this thing from tearing apart his life. BRILLIANT. Not just a b movie, but a plain great movie. Best rat pic ever.

Willard: "Tear him up!"

Good Stuff.

"Amiee hungry, get ass in gear to get food!"

"Amiee horny, get me banana!"

That laser gun at the end was badass.

DGDB - Gotta have love for HUDSON HAWK though - I'd watch ten sequels to that. Willis is cool as fuck, and Danny Aiello has never been that cool since either. They pre-empted love for swing music way before Robbie Fucking Williams and Boyzone rehashed and flooged that dead horse, for sure. And everyone in it was batshit insane. Most under-rated Willis movie EVER...

But yeah, the hitch-hiker... and did anyone elsev kind of fancvy that heartless bitch? No?

Ah. Just me then...

Every single part of the first CREEPSHOW gave me nightmares for fucking weeks after I first saw it, aged 12. That was back in the day, when showing your 12 year old kid didn't get half of Social Services and every other busybody fucker in the UK Government on your back for some perceived slight. Fuck political correctness and fuck this country.

Sorry. Ignore my bitter rantings, I'm sure it'll be great. But now I've seen the new trailer, 2009 belongs...

TO ZACK SNYDER! WATCH THE WATCHMEN!!!

"Aye, the Jackals after 'im aye? Tell 'im to geet hees a-fars in urder."

Nice.

None of the current hacks could do something as epic as misery.

Creep fucks me off so much for 2 reasons- the stupid tooling around in the sewer shit at the very beginning that effectively robs the tension from the rest of the film, and the fact that it just degenerates into a complete fucking mess when she steps off the tube. The fact that they show extended scenes of torture and nastiness do not excuse the massive deflate of tension. Which, to be fair, was handled excellently.

And I reckon I could take the creep and I can't fight sleep.

Famke's best film is, and always will be, the awesome Lola Rennat.

Or THe First Power.

Dreadful stuff.

That makes me happy in the pants.

I shall regale the company later with tales of your deprivation, and O how we shall laugh!

Gordon get's more screentime and Oldman continues to give a good understated performance that doesn't draw attention to itself. I thought the action scenes were far better, though there is still that sense of chaos.

It is a great movie, but the hyperbole is ill suited for a movie like this. It takes it time to develop itself, and not everything is greeted with giant fanfare. This will be looked upon as a classic. Also, it is very much like a crime movie,but for those who say it isn't like a comic book superhero movie, that's not right either. It still feels like a comic book, in a good way.

And the ending to me proved that they do understand the ethos of Batman better than anyone who has handled the character except for those Animated Series guys.

I'm seeing this again on Sunday and I'm quite looking forward to it. It is in no way a disappointment. For those bothered by Bale's voice as Bats, it's even worse here, so be warned.

Monica Bellucci.

Let's all say that again fellas...sweet, sweet, sweet Monica Bellucci.

http://tinyurl.com/68uyfm

Obviously there would be violence and nekkidness aplenty!

BTW Ebonic referenced our 2true master in one of the DK threads.

Truly, the CoC is a pervasive influence.

BTW, watched Millions last night. That's a nice little film, and the boys did a good job in it. I really loved it when the older brother had his "pickup" and his own secret service boys trailed him.

Anyway, hello all. I finally got up the nerve to watch Definitely, Maybe the other day, and I have to confess it was actually pretty good. A little sappy for my taste, and I did get some sick on my shirt when Reynolds said "The happy ending was you!", but otherwise a decent little film. Good on you, JPT, you have not steered me wrong yet.

Already booked holiday.

I'm hoping to catch TDK in a mere 2.5 hours from now.

And Jonah is right, HB II is a good film too in a not-so-serious way, so it's probably the perfect companion to TDK.

I'll follow that up with Sunshine and No Country for Old Men.

A bit of a weird mix to be honest, and I'm kind of hoping the insanely high-brow Oscar winning, Schaffer scripted Amadeus balances out with some nice shlock. Sadly it's the remake though.

Good weekends to all.

Mind you, I'm out of here in about 5 mins.

Truly, I shall consume of the waters of the Liffey before seeking sustenance in some of the unclean parts of an animal.

And Kebabs are allegedly made of all the minging bits of the animal. They aren't.

I fail badly when trying to be poetic.