p.s. fuck off Emmerich and stick your patronising, moronic, juvenile steaming piles of shit back up your arse.

Great article, btw! I laughed my ass off!

Look for more of his horseshit in the next Neill Cumpston talkback.

To re-ignite the b-movie conversations, Solar Crisis anyone?

Also, I agree that black presidents are a little old hat. We've seen plenty of female presidents at this point, too. That being the case, I reckon it's about time we saw either a gay president or a little person president (played by Warwick Davis, obviously).

Points of note that I cannot be debated on:

1) Solar Crisis is great

2)Universal Soldier is THE SHIT. Just for Dolph

3)Emmerich is a cunt.

4)I watched Mother of Tears on saturday. It is potentially great, but massively stupid. Even by Argento's standards.

5)Memories is a cunt of Emmerichian proportions.

6)Warwick Davis would be a great president.

And Con Air is also the shit.

Stuff like this: "...then I envisioned Cusack glumly slumming his way through this nonsense next July 10th and wept uncontrollably for hours." = Comedy Gold.

Cheers.

Nic started going to Keanu skool of acting in Con Air. It shows!

I'm not familiar (or don't think I am) with the one you are talking about, but now that you mention it, I have my useless quest for the day. Sea creatures rising up? Do tell?

Also I tried watching Con Air like a year ago, and the dialog and acting was SOOOO bad I had to turn it off, namely Nic Cage. Put the bunny in the box.

http://www.amazon.com/Swarm-No vel-Frank-Schatzing/dp/0060813 261

Um, first, using black as a noun rather than descriptive term is unusual. Its like people who use gay as a noun. And since he's black it means "the planet is fucked beyond belief"?

You've got to be kidding me right.

How about an unstoppable army of Alaskan King Crab rise up from the sea and start taking over the world one pinch at a time? Now, that's a movie I'll watch, Roland. THAT'S...entertainment.

And don't be dissing Dolph. Dolph's a hero.

Fuck it, I'm watching Dark Angel again tonight.

This though, this could be absolutely money.

Why would Emmerich need to lean on Glover to get Harry Belafonte cast, Beaks? Are they really close buddies and I'm just not aware of it...or is it because they're both black? This is really fucking weird.

And Stargate was a good idea that just didn't quite work.

The Day After Tomorrow was just too stupid to bear, however. I can forgive hacking an alien computer with a Mac because the rest of the movie was fun but TDAT just sucked all around.

And 10,000 BC committed the worst crime a film can commit. It was boring.

Admittedly Emmerich has a fascination of destroying the human race in nearly all of his movies but I have yet to see one which is actually good.

I pray for the day when RZA starts making movies about killing Roland Emmerich, now that's the right direction to go in.

In fact, if I get banned again, that's going to be my new ID. NILBOG Jarv

You heard me. Nothing ever made will be as bad as that putrid piece of festering misogynistic propaganda. And I'm usually up for some misogyny in films.

I would seriously consider Brown Bunny for the title.

My vote for worst movie ever would be Da Vinci Code, god what a terrible terrible movie.

Jarv is right though. If you are truly on a hunt for the worst, then you do have to go beyond so good it's bad or even so much potential wasted(which is where Troll 2 and even Armageddon live) and venture into the nocturnal, cold world of "direct to video and pretentious art-house wierdness. That, I believe, is where the true monsters live.

Consider such awful, meandering fare as Sourdough- a movie about an old crochety dude who wants to go live on some fabled mountain, only to find a bunch of slaughtered animals when he gets there, after an hour and half of watching the old coot talk about going there, while he walks about in circles.

Behold, Tale of a Vampire with Julian Sands and home video style production about vampires that ...wait for it..work in the library and do little else.

And then there is To Catch A Yeti, with Meatloaf in it, and a child who keeps screaming to his parents.."Get me that yeti, or I'll make your lives hell."

Fred think Fred's mom have questionable taste in movies.

Fred qualifies bad movies as being made by directors who try to make a good movie, not directors who intentionally set out to make dreck.

The Devil's Gift(loosely based on his short story The Monkey)

A few more bad titles: Rumplestiltskin(the horror movie, with Rumple looking like a large version of that little troll from Cat's Eye)

Grim-a giant troll in a maze

Jack Frost: the killer snowman flick or the Michael Keaton dead snowman dad flick, take your pick.

Skeeter...nuff said.

Anti-gravity beer!

Defcon 4 is pretty much straight crap. As is Squirm.

I agree with The Glove. Given the pedigree, Indy 4 may be at or close to the top. But then I think of Ghost Rider, Silver Surfer, Failure to Launch, The Family Stone, Elizabethtown, The Avengers, Friends With Money, Gosford Park, AvP 1&2, Chronicles of Riddick, Signs, Van Helsing, Battlefield Earth and Mission to Mars and suddenly all of those are at the top of my list.

Emmerich might have given us 10,000 B.C., The Day After Tomorrow and Godzilla, but I'll stand behind The Patriot, ID4 and Universal Soldier anyday. Unfortunately Stargate was only good on the first viewing but I'll give it a pass since I think it helped to jumpstart Hollywood's renewed interest in sci-fi after almost a decade of duds.

Same thing happened again with Crash and Million Dollar Baby.

I mentioned this earlier, but has anyone seen Making Contact? I tihnk it was called Joey elsewhere. It was an early Roland Emmerich film, but it might have been better than his more recent fare. I can't recall much of it, save for a kid with powers, a mannequin, a giant "cheeseburger" and an end scene where they toys in a kid's room were floating.

They had so many stereotypes in that movie I don't know why they stopped short of the Mexican tomato picker, the Italian pizzeria owner with the curly moustache, the cute kid dying of leukemia, the a-hole boss banging his secretary and the tour bus full of Japanese snapping pictures.

Nothing screams suspension of disbelief like watching a snot nosed kid ride his bmx up onto a dumpster and then leap over a speeding station wagon. Booyah!

And how bout bad that tries hard to be so good it's bad, but is just bad? Saturday the 14th and Saturday the 14th Strikes Back.

I spent an entire summer watching that on HBO.

worst dialogue since Star Wars Ep I: check

inane plot that goes nowhere: check

completely lacking in anything resembling depth (yet still manages to convince people its deep): check

completely pointless fight scenes: check

completely ignoring the first movie: double check

man nudity: check

Belucci nudity: no check!

rave scene: check

white Milli Vanilli: check

Trinity kick overused to the point of parody: check

bad acting: check

anything else i forgot? need i go on?

maybe Revolutions was worse, but my expectations were so low by then i couldnt tell.

I actually hate AVP:R so much and by extension everybody involved in it and wish them all painful deaths, maybe something like getting eaten alive by a pack of wild dogs.

Freds _Balls I did meant to put nee in my post but see above where I was in a rush.

JPT, the D Backs are rancid. I was listening to the game over the internet last night and it drove me fucking nuts. The Mets will end up bettter then the DBacks, there I said it.

Gosford Park was just like the English Patient in that it featured a group of reprehensible scumbags I could care nothing about. I wanted a German V2 rocket that had been circle around for years running off the fuel of good intentions to drop down on that estate.

"Yeah...yeah, I know. I know I'm only supposed to act in this thing. Look, don't you tell me this Emmerich guy knows what he's doing. I directed BRAVEHEART for Christ's sake!!!"

The Patriot is entertaining, no matter how silly it is. The final scene of them building his house...priceless...gets me every time...I'm starting to get choked up now...

And I've never seen AVP:R, but Cloverfield is better than that. I've got the first one to go by.

I doubt it will even happen but...could it be?

The only thing good about Ben Affleck fights WW2 and wins it by himself, aka Pearl Harbor, was the five minute sequence of the Zeros, Bettys and Kates making their attack run on Pearl Harbor. Other then that the PH movie was offensive on every level.

The sad thing is that there are fantastic Pearl Harbor movies out there like Tora, Tora, Tora and somebody thinks a classic like that can't hold a candle to shit stain like Pearl Harbor.

You complain about movies that treat people like idiots, yet you have no compunctions about treating all of us like idiots with your raping of the English language.

Furthermore, you wouldn't know how to enjoy a bad film if your life depended on it.

Now, I've had the opportunity to spend my adult life around firearms as part of my job. I have even taught basic riflery to Marine Corps boots and I can't for the life of me figure out what the hell that sentence means.

Maybe one of you big brains with your fancy educations could do me a soild and clue me in about that one.

Highlander 2 was so much fun even as it destroyed the original. The other sequels were dull and lifeless. And it has been said already, but Critters was a good movie. In it's way, it was as good a commentary on 50s monster flicks as it's obvious inspiration Gremlins. Now Critters 2, 3 and definitely 4 which made brad dourif boring, were worthless. But not the original. If you must pick on a little critter movie and already mentioned Ghoulies, then Munchies is your target. Munchies.

I'm only kidding, my stalwart Marine buddy! I keeed!

CoC members need to silly creed to go by when conducting pencil jihad...just faith baby, just faith.

Anyone here see Hell Comes to Frogtown with Roddy Piper as Sam Hell vs. giant humanoid frogs?

Or Immortal Combat, which squandered a potentially awesome pairing of Roddy Piper and Sonny Chiba?

The thing is, you don't aim for the head. Its the only part of your body that moves independently from the rest of the body in all three axis.

That's why since the advent of rifles as the primary weapon of the Infantry, the Infantrymen has been taught taught to shoot center mass. You can usually hit that on a regular basis.

Did you ever get your hands on Invaders from Mars, Danny?

Also, I threw out the aim small thing as a joke and I didn't think anyone would pick it up and run with it. It did somewhat ruin the scene, for me, of Mel fucking up some Red Coats shit with a tomahawk.

Danial Day Lewis was better with a Tommy in Last of the Mohicans then Mel was in The Patriot. Fact

And Bay's Pearl Harbor is an insult and an abortion but I challenger one person here to watch the attack scene of the director's cut and not admit it's amazing in it's grandeur.

In the negative you did have Mummy Returns, A Knight's Tale, Evolution, Osmosis Jones, Pluto Nash, Fast and the Furious, Tomb Raider, Cats and Dogs, Bubble Boy, Planet of the Apes, Final Fantasy, Jeepers Creepers.

And yes, I realize that it was also the summer of butchered history as Gladiator, Patriot and U-571 took huge liberties.

Iron Man-fantastic.

Speed Racer- quite fun, and actually had a decent story. A return for the Wachowskis.

Prince Caspian-loved it. A huge improvement over the original, and felt like more in keeping with the better Disney live-actions of the past.

Indy 4- It had flaws, but Ford was back and I actually enjoyed the story and it's approach. It was behind Crusade and Raiders but I never felt cheated, though occasionally baffled, and all in all I walked out satisfied. I understand that isn't the experience of anyone here, but there it is.

Son of Rambow- a classic.

Children of Huang Shi-didnt work for me. It was watchable, but too melodramatic and actors like Chow and Michelle were relegated to background mostly. Ended up being Hallmark arthouse.Not very good.

Hulk- It was a fun, good superhero flick but it was best for a Hulk fan who felt personally catered to by the film. Still, I wish we had the longer version. Good stuff though.

The Happening- not a so good it's bad, but a terrible terrible piece of crap that is far worse than almost any major release we have mentioned on here. Vapid, inept, useless and kind of hateful and stupid, stupid, stupid.

Mongol- a good epic film, though a bit cliche that gets tons of mileage off Asano's performance.

The Fall- masterpiece. Just stop reading this and go see it.

Wall-E- also a masterpiece. See this before the Fall. One of my new fave movies I think. Just pure awesome.

The PERFECT STORM was just a handfisted attempt at bringing the book (of the same name) to life on the big screen. While the story of the Andrea Gail is sad and tragic, I dare anyone to not laugh when Clooney declares, "I always find the fish. Always!". It can't be done.

Now, that being said, I would like to nominate Captains Phil, Sig, and the Brothers Hillstrand for enrollment in the CoC.

...was god awful and no, the end fight was one of the worst fights put to screen. It was so overboard and stupid that I don't know how anyone could compare it to the great fights of the first movie or even Reloaded.

Reloaded may have seemed real bad compared to the first movie, but it was ok on its own. Revolutions has absolutely no redeeming value, in any scene, what-so-ever. It was worse than anything I've ever seen from Emmerich.

Also, if you could drop off the _2 part from my handle that would be like I got it back. Thanks

The Last of the Mohicans is a classic. Nothing more to say. And the soundtrack is one of the greatest movie score ever.

Crapping on Private Ryan and The Patriot because they don't measure up to miniseries that had infinitely more time to tell a story is like complaining that the blow job you got from Jessica Alba while she was preggers wasn't as good as the one she gave you a couple years ago. It's simply a ridiculous statement.

If you can't recall a good movie from *ahem* Japland since Kurosawa died, then you haven't watched The Machine Girl.

I'll give Emmerich and Peterson a pass any day of the week. 10,000 B.C. sucked. Guess what? That's what the stop button on your remote is for. Press it and go frolic with your wife instead. If you paid to see it in the theater, congratulations, you're a chump.

I didn't hate Troy as much as some people here and *gasp* I even found Poseidon entertaining. Peterson took a steaming turd and compressed it into 90 minutes of mindless fun. Besides, any movie with Kurt Russell gets a free pass.

The Donor has spoken and will now commence dinner and beer.

and gloriously, I will go into the theater, and hear Danny Glover say "come as an end"...and I will stand up and cheer, and no one will know why but me and my English degree.

please god, I don't ask for much. make this happen.

Bad Mr. Wonka, I suggest that as the release date grows closer for this you make posters that show an overhead view of the city and ala ID4, the shaodw of a giant ass looms over it with the words "The entire world will soon come as an end."

starting with summer 2003-Im sure Im missing a few..

2003- X2(good), Matrix Reloaded(o.k., didnt become a true failure til revolutions), Bruce Almighty(eh), Finding Nemo(great), Wrong Turn(uggh), A Mighty Wind (hilarious-best since Spinal Tap), The Hulk(I liked it), Terminator 3(better than I expected, but still..), Legally Blonde 2(never saw it), Pirates of the Caribbean(the non-animated high point of the summer says I), League of Extraordinary Gentlemen(NOOOOOOO!!), Seabiscuit(good, but overrated), Tom Raider 2(eh), North Fork(haunting and poetic, and in a good way),Whale Rider (liked it), Spy Kids 3(never saw it), The Order (ouch, ouch, ouch,) Open Range(very good movie), Freddy vs. Jason(wha??finally? who cares?)

ID4 trailer was about the grandest trailer we'd seen up to that point. Regardless if you hated the movie, the trailer made you think you were witnessing the second coming of Star Wars.

I actually bought the director's cut of Troy (Best Buy had it for $5.00) and thought it was pretty good. If people haven't figured it out by now, I'm terribly forgiving when it comes to movies. They have to be Fantastic Four 2 bad before I turn them off.

Mohicans isn't as good as the first time I saw it in the theater but I think it still holds up well. And it was shot about an hour from where I live.

AICN TBers are the strangest creatures on the planet. When Private Ryan came out I remember universal acclaim. Now it seems that half the guys here think it's shit. I'm looking at the movie poster hanging up on my wall right now and I'm tempted to watch it. I think Tom Sizemore is a god in that movie. All hail Sarge.

BSB, good to have you back. Not sure if we watched the same movie though. I kept turning 10,000 B.C. off. The last bit I had on as mostly background noise while I looked out the window and counted blades of grass on my lawn.

Malkovich chews the scenery in Line of Fire so fiercely I swore I saw him shaking salt and pepper every time he spoke.

Spiderman(aside from Blade II a month earlier, it had been a while since superheroes had been good, and this one was good), Attack of the Clones(didnt like Phantom Menace but didnt hate it, old star wars was never raped for me, liked this, felt like a big budget flash gordon or buck rodgers, great score, good visuals, perfect matinee fodder even with the bad dialogue), sum of all fears(barely remember it), spirit-stallion of the cimmaron(saw it in college with a girl who was moving away, colorful, bryan adams songs, it's a pass for me), Undercover Brother(I laughed and was ashamed), Insomnia(Mr. Nolan's second try, and I thought it was great), Bourne Identity(honestly, when this came out it was predicted here and elsewhere to be a bomb-a very nice surprise), Windtalkers(a bomb), Unfaithful(no thanks), About a Boy(good movie), Lilo and Stitch(awesome),Minority Report(loved it, think it's one of Spielberg's better movies) Men In Black II(eh) Reign of Fire (B goodness) Eight Legged Freaks(B mediocrity) Spy Kids 2 (eh) Signs(love it, great movie) K19(Wake up, Harrison, waaaake uup!) Stuart Little 2(cute), Big Fat Greek Wedding(I liked it), XXX(three strikes), One Hour Photo(pretty decent)

by the way, I love your reviews, and it just occurred to be that the only time I've shown up in your talkback has been as a petulant grammar/typo nazi.

and really, that's only like 65% of my character.

keep up the good work. this pile of shit deserves to be called out for the shit it is, but also appreciated for the shit it is.

I'm 100 times more pissed at Shyamalan (for The Village, not Lady like everyone else. I jumped ship earlier) than I am at Emmerich.

Aim small, miss small make absolutely no sense, none at all. In fact it's a random words strung together to try and sound insightful. Just how exactly do you aim small with a .56 caliber musket that has an open iron sight?

You aim center mass and hope that the powder ignites because before the advent of modern smokeless black powder, these firearms had a tendency to not work due to the powder "flashing" out and not igniting, wet powder or undecharging.

If you're basing your argument on modern black powder rifles and powder then you my man are simply wrong. Modern powder and caps will ignite almost everytime. Powder in the mid 1700's not so much.

Also, that long ass quote about hunting you put up? I've never heard it or anything even remotely like and that counts numerous deer camps, competion shooting, the Army and the Marine Corps. Plus countless books and articals on shooting and hunting. Who said something like that?

I've heard things like trigger and breathing control, target visualization, shot placement and having enough gun. I've been told and told others where to shoot inorder to quarter the heart of a deer, elk, bear, Javilina and wild pig everytime, but the gooblygook you posted? nope never heard it, no sir. But I'm willing to entertain the notion that could be just semantics of how it was presented.

So same old, same old.

And in case you hadn't heard, our economy is rockin! Oil is down a couple dollars a barrel and Starbucks is only closing 600 stores instead of going completely tits up.

As for this economy ... the latest daily crisis to hit - inevitably - is the mall crisis. Put your money into Costco, Walmart and Target. They are the future ...

Last point, I've hunted quite a bit and participated in black powder competions and I have to say, I prefer a high powered center fire cartrides for superior accuracy but to each there own.

STARGATE

Actually, from what you've described, seems only America is fucked in this movie - and the rest of the world... is maybe a little better off?

You are a nasty, whiny, hypocritical, pretentious prick that holds his own bullshit standard of "talent" up as sacrosanct and is utterly incapable of demonstrating that you "get" the so bad experience.

And stop lying about AvP- You were stoked to see that. The evidence is there from countless talkbacks, and who can forget your amazingly hypocritical "This christmas I'm booking myself a ticket to see Mr. Alien, Mr. Predator and lots and lots of Mr. and Mrs. Dead people."

Give it up fuckface.

On a related note, did anyone ever see that film Nekromantik? That was by a German guy, I think. Horrible film. Not bad necessarily, but just horrible to watch. Horrible like Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer is horrible.

Pearl Harbor is an insulting piece of nonsense. If I was a veteran I would feel like Bay slapped me repeatedly. But, there are several frames during the attack set piece where you see that they are using mostly practical effects with actual actors and there are dozens of things going on at once. Compare that to a scene in Attack of the Clones where you also have dozens of things going on in a single frame but it's 100% CGI. So all I was saying was that I have to give Bay credit where credit is due, no matter how much that pains me.

Any good words from the Ain't It Cool types?

If you can, seek out the Japanese laserdisc rip as it is completely uncut *cough*cinemageddon*cough*

HOD- de nada, any time that cock spouts off I'll slap him.

Anyway, I feel as though I have to see this new film about a small killer just for the sake of completism. I saw it sitting there quietly at Blockbuster the other day (the day of the Rambo/Juno double bill), but I was scared to rent it. Can it possibly live up to my expectations? Can Mark Jones do it for a third time? Will it have anything quite as demented as Warwick Davis getting pulled over by the police while driving a child's toy car and being clearly, you know, a very small monster with bad intentions?

Someone here at the AICN must know.

But to build your enthusiasm in carnival barker style:

See the dreaded fish-people who come to grope you and give the gift of fish babies.

See the annual Salmon Queen(a real girl, like a beauty queen sort of, cept with salmon) face off against the Uber-Humanoid in a battle to the...well, you get the point. Good choice. But don't show it to the yunguns.

Never saw Dummy or Triliquist or whatever. Perhaps because my video store employee days are some 10 years behind me now, and I'm married and have to be more choosy with my schlock and my time.

or Trilogy of Terror?

So here we go, how does one explain the plot of this movie without sounding crazy. Basically the film starts off with a women in a hotel room shooting up while here daughter and son sleep. Next to her is a wooden puppet that simply goes by the name "Dummy". The mother overdoes and dies and the kids are left homeless and orphans. Yeas later the kids along with the dummy with a mind of its own are off on the streets. Angelica ( Paydin LoPachin) is pretty much trying to follow in her mother footsteps, she drinks a lot and is really sexually active. Her brother Norbert (Rocky Marquette) on the other hand is quiet and does not speak, however many believe he speaks though the puppet, but throughout the film it's really not revealed if he is or not as it looks like the puppet has a mind of it's own. Anyway someone gets killed and Angelica blames her brother Norbert for the killing. But she plans of breaking him out of the insane asylum he's in because she and the dummy are the ones planning the killings. They soon break Norbert out of the asylum and continue there terror across state lines on their way to Las Vegas. Mean while on there way Angelica gets the idea to kidnap a girl for Norbert. She wants to keep the bloodline going, and want Norbert to have sex with a girl so they can have a baby. But things don't always go as planned and as the story moves on Dummy starts killing more people and the story spins out of control into a wild rollercoaster ride of a movie.

Overall, TRILOQUIST is a movie that you really cannot take seriously as a masterful film. It's poorly made, but it's also a blast to watch. It's a fun movie to watch if you can look beyond the many problems the movie has with it's production value. The acting is pretty good and the dummy in the film has some great one liners that are sure to make you laugh. It's one of those films that's so bad it's good. It is however a blast to watch and have a good time with.

Franklin, those are not my words, but the words of someone named Horror Bob. I would imagine anyone whose parents had the insight to give him that name would have a finger on the pulse of schlock. But be advised, it's not my reccomendation.

Gingerdead Man, by the way, is shit. I had such high expectations for that one, but all the potential is wasted. That was a very, very boring film, even with nutbag supreme Gary Busey in it. I do recommend Evil Bong, though, which has a Gingerdead Man cameo in it. That was funny one.

Gingerdead Man, by the way, is shit. I had such high expectations for that one, but all the potential is wasted. That was a very, very boring film, even with nutbag supreme Gary Busey in it. I do recommend Evil Bong, though, which has a Gingerdead Man cameo in it. That was a funny one.

And Dollie Dearest, chronicling the terror that ensues when you decide to build a children's doll factory on an Aztec burial ground.

And the early treasures of the genre:

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark

That episode of the Twilight Zone called The Invaders with Agnes Moorhead.

And Im gonna pimp it once more in ths talkback, Nightmares and Dreamscapes: Battleground, the latest and greatest in tiny creature stuff. Will Hurt as a hitman fighting a footlocker of little green army men and their tanks, helis and missles.

By the way, the bird that played the Sorceress was also in Deathstalker 2.

I'll get both original humanoids and remake.

Is the god amongst men known as McClure the king of low rent horror or am I imagining things.

Chucky films have been on a bit of a high recently, what with seed of chucky.

But nothing will ever beat the sheer glory of MITTENSCHPIDER. You haven't lived until you've seen Warwick Davis explode from a space marine's cock dressed in full Lep regalia.

Deep. Fried. Gold.

part 1 was like the evocation of every parent's fears for their 80s rock loving, d and d playing child-that they would worship Satan and bring alot of really disgusting, not desirable little miscreants home.

And Kevin Costner was in Troma's Sizzle Beach USA.

Surprisingly, it ranks as one of his best films.

But it did get back on track for Critters 4, which followed the rule that if you want a good late installment to a previously earth bound series then set it in space. Fuck you all that don't think Jason X is funny. It's hysterical, and has Cronenburg in it.

It's utterly against changian credos.

But check it out. A small cameo by Bruce Spence. Written by Rich Matheson's son and directed by Jim Henson's son. Will Hurt in a completely wordless performance and lots of good, tense fx work as the little soldiers attempt to really kill Hurt.

That Dreamscapes episode was horrid as well. I seem to remember it having the worst Cockernee accents since Dick van Dyke, chim-er-knee sweep to the stars hung up his long brush.

The good Mrs Jarv has spread Lifeforce around her workplace. She did good work with the Lep films- the cunts kept trying to borrow me pot of gore, and Deathstalker, but this was unexpected. It's a bit of a waste actually, because their recommendations are always unmitigated shit. And I always have to watch them. So far we've had Brown Bunny, Edge of Reason, Sliding Doors, The English Patient and soom bollocks called Black Oleanders (I think). Oh, and Tie me up, Tie me down- which I watched twice and still didn't understand. Almovadar is overrated, frankly.

But I'm still glad he's out there. He along with Uwe Boll, Michael Bay, and Brett Ratner. They all provide material to compare good stuff to.

It made children cry in the local Blockbusters.

The film itself: rubbish. As the Doc says, they even fucked up a snowman-in-shower rape scene.

How do you fuck up comedy gold like that?

Hmmmm, just looking into Jack Frost and I noticed that the director wrote the script for Identity which was a pretty good flick and this upcoming movie Shelter, which is getting press attention? This movie Shelter though is directed by the guys who directed this Sweedish movie called Storm. It was all over the banner ads here like a month ago. And I saw it and it was probably one of the worst movies I've seen recently. It didn't make ANY sense. It started out kind of like Wanted where this guy is brought into like a comic book come to life, then turns into this overcoming his pass mistakes in life and its just stupid. Don't be fooled like I did, even though I say I'm above banner ads, that mother fucker got me.

Don't see too much out of Cohen these days, though I know he did a Masters of Horror a little while ago. Pick Me-Up I believe, which also featured Fairuza Balk.

But hail the 80s when Cohen was working with his muse, Michael Moriarty on almost everything.

Sommers went over the top and beyond. It might not always be pretty, but I think he knew where he was going unlike say, LXG, which just ended up that way. Maybe I owe that flick another watch.

For instance, Moontrap clearly seems like Virus(but much better) and the other moon movie, Dark Side of the Moon was very much like Event Horizon. Dark Side was ridiculous though, postulating that the Bermuda Triangle opened out on the dark side of the moon, and was the home of the devil, who decided to catch himself a space craft ride, and would occasionally leap out of someones chest(offscreen) through a triangle shaped hole(Im not kidding) that he ripped in their stomach.

Where to begin, aside from Draculs...

Well, Frankenstein's monster was horrible, the whole idea of the only way to kill Crapula with a werewolf bite was also horrible. Wolverine was as wooden as a table, but seemed to think he was being funny. The Q character made me want to kick the TV out of the window. And worst sin of all: I actually fell asleep in the fucking thing.

You should have stabbed that shitheel with a pencil. As 2true has spoken, so shalt we do.

It could have been a great summer movie too. Oh well, we will always have Monster Squad and that IS a fine piece of monster work.

She was unwise enough to publish Kosplay pictures of herself (here!!!! for fuck's sake) dressed as, I can only presume, Van Helsing. I would find them for you but they are so retina scarring that you would want to maim me.

Since Van Helsing 2 was announced as DTV, she started a campaign with a group of like-minded cretins to get it promoted to theatrical release. Thankfully this failed, and I've got a feeling that it was never made.

Funnily enough, the only SOmmers movie she doesn't like is the magnificently stupid Deep Rising. Which hits a lot of the so bad it's good buttons.

Lets throw some obscure ones out first:

Into the Badlands

Deadtime Stories

The Willies

The Offspring

Grim Prairie Tales

Wow.

That's it. Now imagine that it's staring at the camera with it's best "come hither" look.

Still with me?

Now if you can, imagine that the badly made stuff is actually showing some cleavage.

There you have it. Truly, truly horrible.

I like the crazy old Hammer anthologies meself.

Talking about British films of that period- The Beast Must Die: when they stop the clock at the end, we play a drinking game where everyone gets an option and whoever draws the beast must drink as fast as they can from the time the beast is drawn to the reveal. It's deadly.

Beast Must Die. I remember seeing that as a kid. I used to peruse the tv guide looking for monster movies. I saw this title, and convinced me family to sit down and watch it with me. And it wasn't at all what I expected. Nary a sign of anything til the end. Loved it though, and even after that one viewing way back in the early years I can still recall the ending and many of the sequences.

I need to watch that one again. I didn't realize Sommers had directed it.

You guys watch way more B-movies than I do. My B-movie knowledge is mostly 1950s stuff like Them! and Tarantula.

I've got Amadeus and The Crow this week, because of her sabotage, which isn't too bad. Although it is a bit of a strange combo.

FMB: I did, but it didn't help me too much. Good site though. Since I saw some Explorers fans on the Wall-E board, AICN is probably a good place to bring this back up.

Help people. How does one go about getting an inexpensive copy of Dante's Matinee on dvd. And barring that, how do we get it re-released?

For those who don't recall, Matinee is the flick with John Goodman as a William Castle type who brings his new movie Mant to town at the same time as the Cuban Missle Crisis. It's a classic.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA

It also had very unconvinving killer plants. It's very hard to make convincing killer plants, but these ones were especially bad.

There was a reasonably funny British spoof programme called Dr Terrible's House of Horrible (not unlike Garth Merenghi's Darkplace) that spoofed them all.

http://tinyurl.com/62wk33

I know it's wikipedia, but it was reasonably funny.

And they were dead all the fucking time. Which takes the sting out of it a bit.

But really, unless they're triffids, Killer plants are a bad idea.

A few months ago, there was Witchfinder General on British TV- they were doing a history of British horror and somehow failed to mention the Descent- and they made a big deal of it. For some reason I hadn't seen it.

It's suprisingly intense, Vincent Price is awesome, and the ending is beyond disturbing.

A top film. Pity the director offed himself.

I'm working late, so will be on here for a bit,

He'll call me something indecipherable and I'll lose it again.

And yes Dungeonmaster was just bad. Not good bad.

It feels that way round here at the moment.

I couldn't have made that shit up if I wanted to.

It was a half baked retaliation to the Satanic Verses, as I remember, and is well worth a look.

Antenna doesn't get blown off, mind you, just gets sort of bent and floppy.

Regarding Dr. Who: it's part of our cultural psyche. Much of it is complete tosh, and the special effects have always been bad (although this time it's light years away from how it was).

It does, and always has, however, had some of the most frightening stuff you can see in a family programme. Obviously the likes of Daleks blow, but if you have a kid- show it Blink. There's no effects and it is genuinly creepy.

Nowadays I'm not such a fan as I was when I was a kid (and my Dr was Sylvester McCoy FFS), as I think that frankly it may as well stick a feather up it's ass, grab a rainbow flag, move to San Francisco, and join a gay pride parade. And there is no reason, ever, to think Wales is important. These are 2 things bought in by Russel T Davis, who is (and this may astound you), gay and Welsh.

It is, when on form, fucking good television. And it is about 1 million times better than the bastard spin-off Torchwood. Which is like deliberately slamming your head in a car door.

Basically, for us- Dr. Who= culturally important, can be great, mostly shit.

Roger Daltry really picks some terrible roles.

http://my.spill.com/profile s/blog/show?id=947994%3ABlogPo st%3A355506

http://tinyurl.com/56dgxq

There is a collector's set, Ill have to look it up, that you can get for a decent price that has several oldies but goodies in it. Monolith Monsters was among them. A horror film about rocks that grow.Harry featured it in a dvd collumn a month or so back.

And since we are talking schlock, its time for the token mention of "The Giant Claw". And "Night of the Lepus".

Which probably explains why I liked the other Greico early 90s movies, Mobsters, which I only saw once as well.

I'm usually good at obscure references, but this one is going right over my head.

Also, for old b-movie fans, there is a 20 dollar box set of 3 Honda flicks totally worth it. There is Varan the Unbelievable, which is just so-so(clearly the filler) but Mysterians is cheesy GOLD and Matango: Attack of the Mushroom People is actually a good movie-haunting and thoughtful. In fact, even if you dont get the box set-put Matango on your netflix queue if you are any kind of sci-fi or horror fan. Seriously.

A candidate for worst film ever.

Righto, fuck this, I'm off home. Keep fighting the good fight people.

When on form, it can be magnificent.

I'm so happy now.

"Close the door!"

http://tinyurl.com/65vmld

Love how he used the Christmas star.

And it was messed up of Santa to kill Saul Bellows with the menora.

Love him getting impatient with old lady driver while steering his battle bison on to destruction.

"I'm no messenger, but I'll give you a message -- A MESSAGE OF DEATH!"

That's right up there with Steven Seagal's "I'm going to take him to the bank -- the blood bank!"

The initial punting of the dog, followed by Caan's look of "that's fine by me" was great.

I can't believe I have to defend my position on Pearl Harbor again. I admire the scene for it's technical merits. They built hulls of the ships, they had hundreds of actual actors running around, the scenes of Zeroes straffing the airfield with perfectly timed explosions........it's all very impressive. So, last time I'll say it. The movie was TERRIBLE. But from a technical perspective, Bay & Co. get kudos from me for what they pulled off with practical elements, something Lucas and Spielberg failed to do on Indy 4. When I watched that scene a couple years ago I wasn't thinking how thrilling it was but paused it multiple times and wondered, "How did they pull this off?"

Has anyone seen The Gingerdead Man? Or that Stan Winston movie A Gnome Named Gnorm?

http://www.youtu be.com/watch?v=l8Ra6TsdEts&fea ture=related

If I was half the man I claim to be I'd go home and watch Seagal toss Screwface down the elevator shaft.

It makes me smile.

I think Star Trek also did this with a Bird of Prey exploding.

...just ...fucked ...up

And I have no interest in looking at the pictures. I want to be surprised when I see the movie. In the fall.

It's fucking fried gold on a shit sandwhich bad. Three dolts run around in spandex and weak little cloth capes fighting crime using things like Bolas and I guess what's supposed to be Spanish Kung Fu?

Am I the only person that has seen this craptastic piece of fried cheese Batman ripoff?

Now maybe it didn't make it to the states because I watched it in Mexico as a kid, but if you can find this shit burger, its fucking amazingly bad/fun.

I just love the look of the third fantastic supermen.

And no one here can come up with a worse movie than the Bollywood remakes of Fight Club and Oldboy, complete with dance numbers.

It was truly, horrifingly bad but oh so good. I was like six or seven and watching it in a crap movie house, in I think, Guadalajara or Mazatlan Mexico. Everybody in the theater was laughing at it and having a good with how bad it was. Ah, the memories!

Freds_Balls: to save you some time, drop the _2 off of my name or just write Xi.

Just wanted to throw that out there.

On wierd kid's flicks, Peanut Butter Solution anyone?

And Three Fantastic Supermen deserves it's own talkback. Saw it shown in pieces at a friends house once, who felt like he had stumbled on the holy grail of trash.

And let's talk Super Inframan? A superhero who unbeknownst to him, had a hole in the crotch of his costume all movie long.

That was a movie I had pushed out of my mind. You know..I think Big Rog reviewed it...I'll be right back.

Ratboy" is a perplexing movie about a perplexing hero - a little creature that is half human and half rat and combines all of the least interesting characteristics of both species.

The rat boy lives in a garbage dump somewhere in the hills above Los Angeles, in a hovel furnished like a cross between a tree house and a rec room. Then he's flushed out by a couple of yahoos who think they can make millions by exhibiting him, and the movie turns into sort of a mini "King Kong" - complete with the scene where the creature breaks loose at the ceremony where it is being exhibited to the public.

I guess the rat boy himself is supposed to stir the same sorts of emotions, as E.T. or Pinocchio - miniature quasi-humans with high spirts and loneliness in their eyes. But the key ingredient in any fable like this is the story of how the creature originated. Unless we can complete the sentence "He is like this because . . ." we are looking at a freak instead of a protagonist. And the rat boy remains unexplained throughout the entire movie.

Instead, the film turns into an attack on the crass commercialism of modern American society, with special emphasis on the media. Sondra Locke, who directed the film, stars as a slick operator who hopes to benefit from her friendship with Ratboy. She meets him by posing as a reporter, but before long she's a full-fledged promoter, renting a Los Angeles theater so Ratboy can have his own press conference.

The implications of a true rat boy are fascinating; remember what Francois Truffaut made of his "wild child," and how intriguing the resurrected Neanderthal was in "Ice Man"? The idea of being able to communicate with another species has been the subject of lots of movies, including "Day of the Dolphin" and countless science-fiction films. But "Ratboy" doesn't seem curious about that aspect of its story.

It turns, instead, into a formula thriller - in which Ratboy and his protector, Locke, are arrayed against a mixed bag of bad guys, and the movie cops out by ending in a big chase scene.

I don't know about you, but I'm very, very tired of chases - all except for the good ones, from Steven Spielberg or William Friedkin. If a movie has introduced me to interesting characters, I want the story to explore and resolve their problems, and I don't feel fulfilled just because everybody chases each other, and the right guys win. Chase scenes provide movies with terminations instead of endings.

I began by saying "Ratboy" was perplexing. One of the things that puzzled me was why Locke wanted to make this story in this way. She plugs a fantastical creature into a screenplay made up of standard-issue Hollywood characters and situations, and ends everything with a chase rather than an emotional resolution. What was the point? "Ratboy" is very odd, but not in an interesting way.

House 2 had to be his biggest role. And PugWorm. How can you argue with PugWorm? If I could have any movie character created into a collectable toy, it would be House II's pug worm, but he would need to be soft, rubbery and probably a puppet for maximum value.

And tying to previous convs,Richard Moll was the villain of the original House.

And Brion James, god bless him, was in a non-related flick called Horror Show with Lance Henrickson that later got labeled House 3, allowing the House franchise to skip a legitimate House movie and make House 4 with William Katt back but a different character with the same name in a totally different house. But House 4 did have the Phlegm-O-Matic(it was called that in the movie) and the singing pizza-"I'm your Pizza Man!"

2. Yesterday I was doing some admin crap and I had the computer to myself all day, so I posted.

3. I have insomia so I post a lot late at night where I'm at.

4. I post like 1/5 the amount I used to because from 29 Oct 06 through March of this year I was either in the Hospital, rehab joints or working part time as a floating NCOIC of recruiting stations, so I had lots of free time. Since I went back on full time active duty in April I slowed down with the posting. Until yesterday I have posted maybe once every couple of days and starting Thrusday it will be like two weeks untill I post again.

Danny, do you cheer for the aliens and earthquakes in disaster movies?

Thanks for the kind words but its not anything amazing what I do, it just happens to be where my skill sets are, nothing more.

Grunts are a term usually associated with Army Infantry but since the precision of the English language has degraded so much the word the word grunt has become synonomous with any Infantrymen regardless of branch of service.

Yes sir we have the best uniforms its the one of the best recruiting tool we have.

The Propaganda arm aka the folks who make the commercials pimp it hard.

And I might be too late, but I think it's time to spread the wealth in another talkback. If you look at the mainpage you will KNOW which one I mean.

And Caeser Romero. How can you go wrong?

Cut-rate Buddy EbseN=Royal Dano. Right on the money.

Though it's rather well known, War of the Gargantuas was always a favorite schlocker. Especially the dubbed tv. version with the song "The Words get stuck in my throat" or something like that.

In the early 2000s, Stan Winston hosted a show highlighting early fx work and they always played the really cheesy stuff: Invasion of the Eye Creatures, FCTW, Equinox, etc.

Which were shit.

Mrs Jarv hates all of them. Desribing them as "funny as a trip to a gyno". I pointed out to her that there is plenty of comic mileage to be had out of a stupid bloke going to a gynocologist, but that just got me a frosty look and ban on bedroom priveleges. Sometimes women don't have a sense of humour.

On other crappy movies there's an absolute fucking stinker called Vampirefellas or something like that- it looks like it was shot on home video in a warehouse. And unsuprisingly features Vampire mobsters. They've all got really bad "fuhgeddaboutit" accents. It's great.

And, on this score, where's the love for TROMA. Fuck me, Tromeo and Juliet, Chopper Chicks Take Zombietown, Class of Nuke Em High 3: The Good the Bad and The subhumanoid, Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell (hysterical- semi-naked chick has problems when "sometimes my juices flow" and has to escape the chewitt monster) and my personal favourite- Surf Nazi's must die.

There's also some horrid sub-troma dreck out there- Femme Fontaine: Killer Babe for the CIA leaping to mind. Which is poo. The film is actually a 45 minute trailer for the film that repeats itself 3 times. Avoid. And she's minging. It should be called Femme Fontaine, killer pig for the cia.

Finally:

FUCK OFF MEMORIES. YOUR TEDIOUS RANT ON BAY HAS NO BUSINESS BEAN IN A TALKBACK ABOUT AWESOMELY BAD MOVIES.

You have never shown the slightest sign of understanding the premise, and your presence here sullies the glory of such masterpieces such as House 2. FUCK OFF.

This is good.

WOLVERINES!

Pah.

Once again, thanks for having my back.

"If you guys take the attack on Pearl Harbor, the real attack, as basis for an exciting action scene, then you just completly lost all sense of perspective. That should not be fun, it should be horrible!!"

This is so far off the mark, while still being completely correct, that it is amazing. What we are talking about is the visceral thrill of cinema. What memories is referring to is some deeper meaning/ message that Cinema should have.

And this is one of the (many) reasons why he will never understand this.

Have fun camping. Well as much fun as you can actually have camping. And that's without war.

Of course I was like 7 seven then and thought it was the greatest thing ever.

anyway, I was gonna mention Charlie Sheen is Patrick Swayze's kid brother...

That's all I got

Fuck me, I believe I need some coffee now.

But never fear, they'll back into the playoffs anyways cause their division is oh-so-bad.

The playoffs will be another story.

I thought bits of it were absolutely gripping, and the tension at the end when the NF leader turned on milky was palpable.

Still, it would be dull if we all had the same opinions.

Netflix. Blockbuster. Something.

You can then shout WOLVERIIIIINE! as you attack your roommates and take away the remote from them.

And B-movie jumpstart:

Return of Swamp Thing.

Killdozer

Syngenor

Chopping Mall a.k.a. Killbots

Trog

Dinosaurus

Of Unknown Origin

Fucking lovefilm removed humanoids from the deep and swapped it for V for Vendetta, which wasn't even on the FUCKING LIST, honestly what's the point of the fucking list? they just keep sending us things they think we'll like and usually getting it wrong. Case in point: Ordinary People. How could they think the same people that watched the entire Lep series, Twin Peaks, Suspira, Rocky, and many other goodies would want to watch that?

Anyway, where was I...

Oh yes, so no humanoid goodness for poor old Jarv this weekend. Especially seeing as I had a nostalgia attack the other day and elevated The Crow into the other slot.

It's pissing me off no end. Especially because they're pretending Beastmaster doesn't exist.

Complete crap that wanted to be torture porn but didn't have the balls.

What is distressing about Vacancy is that in the DVD extras there are all the murder tapes that you can watch. If you're a degenerate fuck, that is.

And the NF meeting scared the bejesus out of me. Those fuckers are like cockroaches, they never go away.

I don't understand the geek love for it, frankly.

Best scene of Return of Swamp Thing, was Heather Locklear asking Swampie "Are you a plant?"

Speaking of Swamp Thing, a D.C. property, what about most obscure or silliest adaptations of comics?

At the fore you have Howard the Duck, but what about..

Dr. Strange

Captain America

The Corman Fantastic Four

The "torture porn" genre holds no interest to me. I guess that's why I liked much of Vacancy, it concentrated on the situation and not the torture. I'd have zero interest in watching those tapes. I didnt think it was a great movie, but it did have a strong sense of atmosphere and more than a little tension, but by the end most of that was ebbed away. It's like a 2 and a half star flick in my book.

Series7, about Red Dawn, just remember this, its not a good movie but its supurbly entertaining because of things like the following exchange:

MartyMcFlyMoM: Who's on our side?

Powers Boothe: "Five Hundred million screaming Chinese."

MartyMcFlysMoM:'I thought there was a Billion Chinese?"

PB: "There...was"

Brilliant

What about faux comic book movies. Anyone here see Full Moon's "Dr. Modred"

Was the Doctor Strange a TV movie along with Nick Fury?

The Dr. Strange Im familiar with was a 1970's movie. He fought Morgan La Fey. Im not sure if it was tv or theatrical. It was super-cheesy.

Didn't the original artist/ writer of Tank girl go on to do Gorillaz?

As for Red Dawn I've been meaning to watch it for a long time, I think my roomate has it.

I nominate Judge Dredd for silliest comic adaptation. Because for the most part it has a lot going for it. Also its by far the best Rob Schnider role ever (did you know he's got a movie HE directed coming out?), and I think the first part of the movie is great. It was obvious that Danny was aiming for Russell Mulcahy like over the topness, but didn't go all the way with it for the end. Sly even admits to being let down with the final product, and blames the director. I think its funny that the Judge Dredd photo is Sly's photo for IMDB. I really got into the 2000AD comics while I lived in England, getting them from my local newsagents and all and I thought a lot of the movie fit in well with the kind of anything goes universe. And Sly nailed the character. Had Verhoven directed it, it probably would've been a classic.

What they should have done is a 3 part Judge Cal story.

Dredd was framed and exiled in that one, before Cal went completely batshit crazy (making a fish high Judge) and ordered the execution of the entire city, Dredd saved day.

Or they should have just done either Rico or Angel Gang by themselves.

Fuck, I'm a nerd. I hope the wife doesn't find out about this.

And (I can't believe I'm about to say this) Sly had too much emotion for Dredd. Dredd is great satire (as is much of 2000AD), but the point is that he, and the rest of the judges, are totally unfeeling.

Or they could have done Dredd's trip across Scorched Earth to deliver the vaccine to Mega City 2, or Judge Death, which is crying out for the B movie treatment- have you ever seen the origin of Judge Death? It's hysterical- when he gets appointed to court for 1 day and sentences everyone to death:

Overseeing Judge: "You sentenced everyone to death! Why?"

"They would have re-offended"

"But that couple only came in for a divorce"

I'm stealing "jumped the troll" By the way.

I hope so.

Freudian slip of the keyboard then.

It isn't weekly anymore though and some American dick (no offence) wants to do a Judge Death spin off. The tool thinks it could be like The Killing Joke- thereby totally missing the point.

I get what's good about Judge Dredd, Danny, it just represents one fuck of a missed chance. And that's what bugs me.

Mind you, the same is true for V for Vendetta, LXG, From Hell and pretty much anything that's had the words "Based on ....... by Alan Moore" attached.

ABC warrior: Status?

Rico: Bodyguard.

ABC warrior: Commander?

Rico: Rico.

ABC warrior: Mission?

Rico: We're going to war.

ABC warrior: [eagerly] Warrr...

The mind boggles.

Judge Dredd got some things right, but if I remember (haven't seen it in 10 years) it got more wrong.

Assante and Von Sydow were great and Diane Lane looked hot as usual. It really needed to be a hard R-rated movie though.

Cheers H-O-D, that's what I was getting at.

The 80's were great for some things, but music is NOT one of them.

And don't pretend designer misery wank The Smiths are good.

and don't forget the 80's is the decade that bought us the utter misery of Stock, Aitkin, Waterman and teh (s)hit factory. Rick Astley? please.

Kylie, Jive Bunny, Shakespeare's Sister, Men at Work, Jason FUCKING Donovan (who?you may well ask), Bros, etc

I could go on with this, but the 80's was not a happy time for British music.

It did, however, how the sexy Diane Lane in it. She could arrest me anytime.

cos after aaa-llllll,

You're my WONDERWAA-LLLLL

"Liam, What the fuck is a "Wonderwall" exactly?"

I've seen some of the greats on the field or stage, but never met them. I've never even walked by "greatness."

We'll come together in disgusting, smokey, gag inducing bliss.

Speaking of British music, one of the best performances I ever saw was a band called Moke. Too bad the Brits and Yanks had no use for them and forced them to disband.

I still recall the lyrics of the opening song: "Sometimes I feel like Sherlock Holmes...sometimes I feel like Billy the Kid..I need a face...because mine's been erased." Don't know what the hell it meant, but then Cooper's stuff was like that.

If Starbuck was babysitting me as a kid (with Galactica in it's prime) I would've gone bat spit crazy.

Come to think of it, the closest I ever came to celebrity was freakin' Walter Mondale. Asked for his autograph in the National Museum in Mexico City when he was running for prez. And I brushed past Charles Barkley in a mall in Boston, but since the 76ers were in town to play my beloved Celtics, I didn't even want to look at the guy.

Oh yeah Bill Murray checked out in the counter next to me at Whole Foods like 2 months ago...pussied out again, he was the worst dressed person in the store.

Try the Arctic Monkeys, they fit right on that list.

Coldplay are probably the most despised act at the moment. Who the fuck buys Coldplay CD's? and can they stop it. Cynical aimed at American college kids GARBAGE. Totally music without identity.

Being a Camden boy I see an awful lot of music. Most of which is frankly dreadful. BUt occasionally you get some gems like when a metal band cover Prodigy.

There's so much Britpop that just didn't cross the atlantic, and if you're looking for that mid-90's vibe then you can easily draw up a great playlist of 1 hit wonders from the likes of Lush, Elastica, Sleeper, Menswear etc. And this is before I get into the absolute untouchable Trip-hop.

Goldfrapp, Massive Attack, Tricky, Morcheeba, Portishead,

Sigh, and now we get wank Pop Idol gibberish, lame R 'n B rip off crap and Amy Feckin' Crackhouse.

Here is the first part link, and you can follow the other links from there.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=BQB aVM2e4fw&feature=related

I recently got abused by Robert Plant. I was trying to help a lost American get a picture of himself with said legend. It didn't go well.

Series, Charles S Dutton is awesome. He and the doctor were the only good things about Alien 3.

But, yes, it seems that's the case. The money they made from selling it to sci-fi or whatever, and going dtv far outweighed the paltry cost of it.

*sigh* I gotta get out of hicktown.

Mrs. Jarv keeps sneeringly pointing out that it is "dinner party music" so I keep having to remind her that she likes Ben Folds.

He was good in Starship Troopers.

His mutant twin Kurtwood Smith was in Robocop being awesome.

Ironside had a nice bit part in The Machinist.

And the b-movie crapsterpiece Watchers. Anyone catch that?