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All Aboarrrrd!! Ah Ha Ha Ha Ha!!
Fox Orders Six Episodes of The
Ozzy Osbourne Variety Show!!

That's alright. No thank you. by pmlinstrot	Jul 7th, 2008 12:23:09 AM
I politely decline.
what? by Orionsangels	Jul 7th, 2008 12:23:35 AM
what is this the brady bunch variety house? this has to be a joke!
I can hardly contain my apathy by fastcars	Jul 7th, 2008 12:33:50 AM
God, network TV sucks.
Never by lord_zedd	Jul 7th, 2008 12:33:55 AM
Ever.
etta e oing ta staa e upata da wa m aboot...SHARON!!!!!!! by Monkeybrains	Jul 7th, 2008 12:37:08 AM
the comedy styling of Mister Osborne
And I thought that cover album was as low as Ozzy could go... by MaxTheSilent	Jul 7th, 2008 12:39:40 AM
The only way this could justify its existence would be if at the end of the last show Iron Maiden could come out and egg the Osbournes where they sit.
Who will watch this? by hank henshaw	Jul 7th, 2008 12:54:30 AM
But then again, their reality show was a big success.
This will probably replace one of the new dramas... by Prof. Pop-Cult	Jul 7th, 2008 01:13:19 AM
As soon as ratings falter on either Fringe or Dollhouse, FOX will plug this in for a "try out" and then cancel the other show.
wow, could they be any MORE of a sellout? by TheSeeker7	Jul 7th, 2008 01:26:26 AM
Seriously, this family is approaching Aerosmith territory. I really know nothing about older sister Aimme, accept at this point she's the only Osbourne for whom I've any respect at all, for continuously choosing to not be a part of this ridiculousness. Good for her.
by Larry of Arabia	Jul 7th, 2008 01:31:25 AM

The Simpsons Did It by Larry of Arabia	Jul 7th, 2008 01:34:30 AM
If I'm not mistaken the eldest daughter had enough integrity not to be on The Simpsons Family Smile-Time Variety Hour as well. (sorry about that blank post, don't know what happened there) I think Ozzy would make a great Love-Matic Grandpa, though.
The Osbournes are returning? by LordEnigma	Jul 7th, 2008 01:47:13 AM
Wow. I am shocked. Seriously, one of them has HIV, but this will not keep them from doing a variety show! Yay. Woo. I am at a loss for fucking words.
couldn't Fox just order 6 more eps of Drive? by Amy Chasing	Jul 7th, 2008 02:04:02 AM
just 6 more really tight episodes could finish the race and make for a kick-arse DVD pack.
just think, maybe 30 years from now by smackfu	Jul 7th, 2008 02:09:28 AM
our children will be watching 'The Nicklebacks' reality show where that douchebag singer gets booed and bottles thrown at him by his kids.
Maybe they could subtitle it: When Osbournes Are Crap by Sledge Hammer	Jul 7th, 2008 02:36:28 AM
You know, to better fit in with Fox's other triumphs of television, such as When Animals Attack and all it's bullshit derivatives. Although to be fair, Osbournes have been crap for so long now who could really tell anymore anyway? Remember when Ozzy was cool? You know, before he was "kewl"? I miss those days...
Kelly has to sing somewhere other than in by dihay	Jul 7th, 2008 02:51:49 AM
her own shower I suppose. At least there is proof that Ozzy does have a few offspring with some kinda damn sense.
osbournes make like the osmonds??? by bacci40	Jul 7th, 2008 02:52:41 AM
i fuckin hate getting old...cant we go back to the days when my parents forbid me from listening to that devil music??
this will be a mega hit... by ls420	Jul 7th, 2008 03:01:48 AM
because most of our tv viewers are fuckin morons. These reality type shows will continue to kill good television.
With special guest by The McPoyle Clan	Jul 7th, 2008 03:42:52 AM
Gene Simmons. Maybe he'll give Ozzy a few pointers about how to better whore himself.
better than more Fastlane by ChrisTuckersOnlyFan	Jul 7th, 2008 06:09:34 AM

Why is Firefly so cheap? Does it suck? by tonagan	Jul 7th, 2008 07:07:05 AM
Ditto Buffy. (Before anyone goes ballistic, I'm just kidding.)
"I'm a little bit Slurry..." by Lance Rocke	Jul 7th, 2008 07:20:28 AM
"...And I'm a little bit OCD!"
What Would Dolemite Do? by darquelyte	Jul 7th, 2008 07:40:02 AM
Ozzy should channel his inner Dolemite and say: I'm gonna let 'em know that Ozzy is back on the scene! I'm gonna let 'em know that Ozzy is my name, and fuckin' up mutha fuckas is my game!
This will be a hit by Richard Cranium	Jul 7th, 2008 08:12:18 AM
Simply because people can't resist a train wreck. The best thing the producers could do with this is just take a hands off approach and let the insanity run free.
One day, pigphart5000 will stop posting... by Meglos	Jul 7th, 2008 08:13:57 AM
...and that will be a glorious day.
Sid and Marty Kroft should produce this! by Uncle Stan	Jul 7th, 2008 08:14:34 AM

Pink Lady should guest star. by Uncle Stan	Jul 7th, 2008 08:15:28 AM

They should a CGI Paul Lynde and Rip Taylor. by Uncle Stan	Jul 7th, 2008 08:16:20 AM

And a CGI Flip Wilson, Sammy Davis, and Phyllis Diller. by Uncle Stan	Jul 7th, 2008 08:17:29 AM
Wait...Phyllis Diller is still alive. Sort of.
I keep hearing about this ... by GiveMeAnFinBreak	Jul 7th, 2008 08:29:09 AM
and still don't want to believe it's true.
Or 6 more episodes of JOURNEYMAN by theycallmemrglass	Jul 7th, 2008 09:10:55 AM
oh wrong network, equally fucked up.
Will Sharon fuck the rotting corpse of Randy Rhodes? by Kentucky Colonel	Jul 7th, 2008 09:14:49 AM
cause she's sure fucking the "OZZY" brand into the dirt. Prince of darkness or Clown Prince of darkness? Sigh...I remember when the cover to "Speak of the Devil" made my father all mad. Those were the days!
FOX should've read the contract by rockgolf	Jul 7th, 2008 09:56:16 AM
They thought they were getting the OSMOND family.
ROCK N ROLL HAS BETRAYED US!!!!!!!! by alice 13	Jul 7th, 2008 10:03:18 AM
BETRAYED US ALL TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is the unfunniest talkback ever by damagedinc	Jul 7th, 2008 10:24:06 AM
UGH!
Ozzy's variety act by Dwide Shrewd	Jul 7th, 2008 10:28:46 AM
will consist of him pouring buckets of water over his head to hide the fact that he just pissed his pants. Have we no fucking sense or shame left?
WHY IS IT... by One Nation Under Zod	Jul 7th, 2008 10:32:48 AM
That all these people who have contributed positively to our culture are dropping like flies to cancer, drugs, and the like; but this incoherent limey fuck is still walking around out there?
sad... by 40ozToFreedom	Jul 7th, 2008 10:44:56 AM
Ozzy's become such a joke, and its sad that this generation will only remember him as being a bumbling, cracked-out sellout from reality shows. His legacy is shit now, but I try to just focus on his music. Go listen to the Ultimate Sin album, totally underrated classic album.
Oh Goody... by TroutMaskReplicant	Jul 7th, 2008 10:50:59 AM
I mean oh fuck!
They're about five years too late. by BrandonGK	Jul 7th, 2008 10:51:23 AM
The Osbournes used up their cultural relevance around '03.
THE OZBORES by ArcadianDS	Jul 7th, 2008 11:09:58 AM
Satan just called. Ozzie can have his soul back and still keep the money if he just stays off TV for a little while.
I'd rather watch by Bricktops hammer	Jul 7th, 2008 11:18:03 AM
Flavor of Love...wait, no I wouldn't
I'll gladly watch this. by Shermdawg	Jul 7th, 2008 11:42:03 AM

OH GOD I HOPE THIS IS AS GOOD AS THE BRADY BUNCH VARIETY HOUR by hst666	Jul 7th, 2008 12:15:01 PM
Or at least Sonny and Cher The Brady Bunch Special was so funny when TVland or whoever reaired it fifteen years ago. It was so laughably awful. I remembered watching it as a kid, but I did not appreciate how stupid it was at the time.
I've been in the mood for a variety show by CherryValance	Jul 7th, 2008 12:24:41 PM
but these are probably the last people I would have ever expected to do one. I'll check it out.
I hope this show.... by Moviekiller	Jul 7th, 2008 12:52:40 PM
...turns into an Aristocrats joke.
"Look at me, I'm a drug addict! Ho, ho, ho!!" by TallBoy66	Jul 7th, 2008 12:54:43 PM
"Some of us still enjoy scripted comedy, sir." "That's a good girl!"
Shhh SHHHARON! by Rufferto	Jul 7th, 2008 01:10:03 PM

I was at the pitch meeting and it sounds great.... by smackfu	Jul 7th, 2008 01:20:50 PM
So there's this father, who's an aging british rockstar, who walks like he just shit himself, and his wife and two kids. So the father gets up and he starts to juggle. Except this guy's had more silent strokes than a 13 year old on a camping trip with his parents, so of course he can't catch anything, he's just firing shit up in the air and huddling while they fall around him with this shocked befuddled look in his eyes. then he says something to the wife, but he's completely fucking incomprehensible and so is she. So he grabs the wife and he starts fucking her. He fucks her in the cunt, fucks her in the ass, between her tits, fucks her in the ear, at one point she flexes her arm and holds it there, and he starts fucking the old-lady-arm-skin pussy. While he's doing that the son joins in, whips it out and starts fucking Ozzy in the ass, only he's a teenager so he pretty much cums right away, right up Ozzy's ass. Ozzy says something in what sounds like Esparanto, then the daughter gets up on stage and sucks the cum out of his ass with a straw and spits it into a petrie dish. Right the mother starts to have her period, she she squats over the dish and shits an ovary into it. The daughter mixes up the dish, fertilizing the egg, then the father starts fucking the petrie dish fetus. Then the mother and the son get behind him, son lays down and the mother squats on his face and starts giving the father a rusty trombone...
The four horsemen have saddled up... by Engelhast	Jul 7th, 2008 01:22:38 PM
...and the end is neigh.
Featuring.. by skimn	Jul 7th, 2008 01:46:21 PM
The Ozzy Osbourne Dancers...The Ozzettes. I'm your host Todd Newton, and now, heeeeeeere's OZZY!!
So Smackfu by The_Red_Knight	Jul 7th, 2008 02:45:16 PM
What you're saying is that they're going to call the show the Aristocrates?
Ozzy = Jumped The Nuke Fridge With A Shark In It by LaserPants	Jul 7th, 2008 03:31:49 PM
At first it was kinda funny when Ozzy started to pimp out his drug addled self to be exploited on tv. Then it quickly got sad. Now its beyond sad, its almost an atrocity. Someone, please slip a mickey into his next drug cocktail that no doubt keeps him alive at this point? I think its time that Ozzy left this mortal coil; preferably by Viking funeral while snorting up crazy lines on his crazy train (and by crazy train he mean cocaine. Lots of it).
saw iron maiden live at twickenham couple of days ago... by Y282	Jul 7th, 2008 03:34:21 PM
now THAT's how to fucking do it. 2 hours, flat out, all the band going for it. stop fucking about ozzy and get back to doing something on stage. and leave that cunt of a wife at home.
Sharon is worse than Courtney Love. by fiester	Jul 7th, 2008 04:54:03 PM
At least she waited until her husband was dead to cash in. Poor Ozzy. Whatcha wanna be Sharon has his power-of-attorney?
Replacement Jan Brady Should Play Aimee Osbourne!! by DrunkenBusboy	Jul 7th, 2008 05:04:18 PM
This would make Ozzy's transformation from Lord of The Metal Underworld to Tacky Entertainer on the Jo Anne Worley level! What's next Ozzy & Soupy Sales together on the $200,000 Pyramid?
I want to plow Sharon in the ASS. by Kurzinski Valentine	Jul 7th, 2008 06:26:03 PM
SLAPPIN' ALL UP IN THEM REGIONS.
circa 1982 by Orionsangels	Jul 7th, 2008 10:40:36 PM
3am North Bergen NJ. Listening to Ozzy Osbourne's Blizzard of Oz with my older brother. Hey in the future Ozzy is gonna have a variety show TV show with his family...pause Are you high? Yes! Bahahahaha!!! That was a good one.
C'mon by smackfu	Jul 8th, 2008 12:30:30 AM
that was a sweet fucking Aristocrats setup and only one person noticed it and no one finished the joke? Where's Sagat when you need him. Oh, that's right, he's doing heroin with a black hooker named Mahogany who has halloween masks of Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen taped to her face and ass, respectively.
God NO! by mistergreen	Jul 8th, 2008 01:07:53 AM
Who wants to see a Banshee and a Zombie do a variety show?
What no trailer? by Dazzler69	Jul 8th, 2008 06:55:48 AM
Every new thread seems to have trailers except this one? Ozzy weirdness is always needed.
I can't see there being any dance numbers by smackfu	Jul 8th, 2008 12:00:11 PM
You can only take a marionette rigging so far...
AIMEE LOOKS JUST LIKE HER BROTHER JACK by dr.bulber	Jul 8th, 2008 06:29:48 PM
if you think jack is hot then go for it.

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All Aboarrrrd!! Ah Ha Ha Ha Ha!!
Fox Orders Six Episodes of The
Ozzy Osbourne Variety Show!!

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All Aboarrrrd!! Ah Ha Ha Ha Ha!! Fox Orders Six Episodes of The Ozzy Osbourne Variety Show!!

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All Aboarrrrd!! Ah Ha Ha Ha Ha!!
Fox Orders Six Episodes of The
Ozzy Osbourne Variety Show!!