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Mr. Beaks Perforates WANTED

first by DanielPlainview	Jun 27th, 2008 12:42:07 AM
first
FIRST! by BLEST	Jun 27th, 2008 12:43:50 AM
Don't care what he says, this will be a great flick. On DVD!
DAMN YOU, George Lucas!!! by Motoko Kusanagi	Jun 27th, 2008 12:51:04 AM
Damn you to hell!!!
This reviewer NUKED THE FRIDGE! by Motoko Kusanagi	Jun 27th, 2008 12:52:23 AM
Anti-Plant.
Jolie by Simon Moon	Jun 27th, 2008 12:52:38 AM
I find it more than a bit ironic that Jolie works to bring peace to people in her real life, yet consistently makes violent films.
Fuck You Mr. Beaks by Russman	Jun 27th, 2008 12:53:35 AM
this looks fun. Don't force meaning into something that's there to appeal to our base instincts. It's spectacle entertainment. Turn your brain off. Turn it back on in the Fall when the deeper movies are released.
Yeah, just like the Matrix copycat killings. by ColtCCO	Jun 27th, 2008 12:56:55 AM
Remeber that? The early Oughties were a bloodbath as people tried to dodge bullets, and justified their shooting sprees, saying that the Redpills were just just potential agents. And then Fight Club, causing bitter, disaffected cublicle drones to commit random acts of anarchistic mayhem againts a repressive society. Oh, wait. None of that ever happened, because that's not how the world works. Shup up and enjoy the action movie, Beaks.
I respect this review by Jackie Boy	Jun 27th, 2008 12:58:12 AM

Nice Review by epevensie	Jun 27th, 2008 12:58:36 AM
I'm always entertained when someone from AICN goes schoolmarm. But your sermonizing has only served to whet my appetite. Just can't get enough slick nihilism!
PLANT!! by LargoJr	Jun 27th, 2008 12:58:43 AM
And Angelina J is the sexiest tomboy NON-beanpole on the planet... even if she DID make out with her cousin and fuck that inveterate loser Billy Bob.
Elaborate Train Wreck = metaphor? by Lord Oxley	Jun 27th, 2008 01:00:05 AM
Devin Faraci's review called the film chaste. And a bent or broken weiner might do that.
Did I Say There'd Be a Rash of Copycats? by mrbeaks	Jun 27th, 2008 01:01:00 AM
I just said I wouldn't be surprised if one imbecile tries to curve a bullet around his pal. Trust me, I'm not blaming the filmmakers; I'm ridiculing the impressionable idiots they might inspire.
Oh, and as far as the movie goes... by ColtCCO	Jun 27th, 2008 01:03:44 AM
I saw the advance Screening in Knoville. Pretty good, flashy and somewhat contrived, but fun to watch over popcorn, with cool effects, and nifty action sequences. Reinvented Gunkata, and make it look almost as cool ,and alot grittier. It is not an anti-social subversive message to go kill people for the greater good (Neightborhood Watch Alliance "The greater good"), just standard summer fare with what's supposed to be a "wow, that's kinda deep" feel that will last halfway to the car in the thatre parking lot. You're giving Wanted way to much credit if you think it's got a "message" that's going to inspire murder.
Thanks mrbeaks. by bod33	Jun 27th, 2008 01:06:55 AM
Your review now makes me want to see this.
"In other words, WANTED is a massive step back for cinema and, I by grungies	Jun 27th, 2008 01:11:41 AM
Just as Transformers did not take us one step further toward Ass: The Movie (seriously, Vern, what the hell were you thinking there?), this is not going to harm society in any way shape or form. You sound like Jack Thompson suddenly gained the analytical skills of Jonathan Rosenbaum. By the way, nice analytical skills, but many of your points are laughably paranoid. Hey, screw Wanted! I'm gonna go play Grand Theft Auto IV! Morality has to be the most overrated criteria for cinema ever conceived. To hell with morality. I try to be moral every day of my life, would it kill me to root for James Cagney murdering his opponents every once in a while? (just to be clear, you did back up your opinion well, and I respect you as a reviewer, but if I go and see this and wind up liking it then, woop-de-doo! Jackshit has just been meant, and society is not hindered by a damn movie). Actually, I'm kind of offended by your words about teenage boys. I'm a teenage boy that has seen a few Ozu films, and two Bela Tarr works. Teenagers aren't as uniformly stupid as certain people trick themselves into thinking.
Wasn't sure by Athanatos	Jun 27th, 2008 01:15:00 AM
if I wanted to see this movie or not, your review just made this a DVD viewing for me, and as for someone trying to curve a bullet around his pal, you're right, it wouldn't surprise me either.
A "REPAIRMAN" that actually doesn't repair!?! by The Marquis de Side 3	Jun 27th, 2008 01:18:04 AM
GET CASTRATED, Hollywood! >=0p
Copycats? Step back for cinema? Animal cruelty? by MaxG	Jun 27th, 2008 01:22:27 AM
Apparently Mr. Beaks could have better spent his $10 buying a sense of humor.
Thanks, Mr. Beaks... by monsterforge	Jun 27th, 2008 01:23:47 AM
I'm glad at least one reviewer on here doesn't mind taking a massive dump on a movie that is, by all rights, a massive dump. Thanks again!
Wow by MichaelCorleone	Jun 27th, 2008 01:25:22 AM
I'm sorry, but this review seems like you took the film WAY to seriously from a lot of standpoints. It's based off a damn comic book. Chill the fuck out. No you didn't say there would be a rash of copycats, but damn it if you didn't allude to it in some form. Review a goddamn film. Don't give me laced social commentary on something that is from the fucking land of make believe. You didn't like the film, that's great. But don't give me this "it's a step back in cinema" bullshit. The film may be shit, but that's a big exaggeration and you know it is.
mrbeaks is onto something..."JUNO" could've inspired teen pregna by The Marquis de Side 3	Jun 27th, 2008 01:26:57 AM
there's a LOT of stupid kids out there (not impressionable, they're called STUPID), and CNN actually discussed this if films like "JUNO" and the media love for pregnant actresses on the red carpet could have fanned the popularity for "being pregnant", and inspired those girls in that school to form a pact to get pregnant (where was that? the midwest? Cleveland? how many were they, twelve?). But it basically comes down to HOW you're raised. If your parents have common sense, then you won't go imitate "WANTED", just as you won't go around forming pregnancy pacts. It's not the movies. It's like blaming KISS and METALLICA if you want to comitt a crime. Stupid, right? But if you grow up in a militia, and want to celebrate the Supreme Court's new ruling on gun control, then "WANTED" must seem like a documentary on PBS for you... >=0p
damn, beaks by Ace of Knaves	Jun 27th, 2008 01:27:32 AM
way to write, homie. yeh i could do without this , even if it is decent ill just be thinking where are the capes and masks and shit? did they read the book?
ColtCCO by Clarence Boddicker	Jun 27th, 2008 01:27:32 AM
You took the words from my mouth...I couldn't agree more. I'm willing to assume that Mr.Beaks also believes "chidlin's" shouldn't play FPS games as it might improve their aim in an actual shooting spree...
...teen pregnancy... by The Marquis de Side 3	Jun 27th, 2008 01:28:15 AM
DAMN! always get the titles cut off! >=0p
Rape: THE MOVIE! by veebeeyes	Jun 27th, 2008 01:28:23 AM
Watch as our fearless hero prowls around the schoolyard. Anyway, I did get sort of a weird vibe from the trailers. Like it was glorifying murder, sort of. Not sure if the actually movie plays out the same way, that's just the vibe I got from watching the trailers. Even if that's the case, I'm sure it's not gonna have any kind of effect on society, other than possibly making me feel dirty for having watched it.
...watching "WANTED" must feel like watching porn 12 hours strai by The Marquis de Side 3	Jun 27th, 2008 01:33:05 AM
...your brain is basically numb, you're drooling, and feel quite sick and emoty inside. Not that--I'VE--ever watched 12 hours straight of porn (AHEM) I mean (COUGH) I'm just saying...um...a friend of mine told me..he did that..uh..yeah, yep (SNIFF)not me, it was my friend...my friend, uh...JOE!... yeah, Joe, that's it...so, uh, that's what that's like... excuse me. (EXIT)
ive seen this sort of posturing before by aestheticity	Jun 27th, 2008 01:40:14 AM
fight club. falling down. the company of men. american psycho. to a lesser extent, clockwork orange, brazil, donnie darko. the term 'white male angst'. every time ive seen it, the reviewer is the only one speaking in those sort of imaginary terms. it says rather more about them than it does the movie. it says 'this is how i felt, and i hate being such a loser so i will project onto everyone else'. the rest of the white males enjoy a film, but the reviewer sees a manifesto.
Okay society will be fine by spectrebeeyatch	Jun 27th, 2008 01:40:45 AM
They said this after the Matrix where they glorified murdering cops and what not. Did people go around murdering everyone they saw? No. Also Wanted will be destroyed by Wall E in the box office so barely anyone will see it anyway.
This review... by therealhenryjonesjrjr	Jun 27th, 2008 01:43:58 AM
is a massive step back for the credibility of this website and its criticism. This movie was more enjoyable, more inventive, and more ENTERTAINING than any we've seen thus far this year, and frankly, if you're going to give the "columbine" argument here, and attempt to condemn the film based on the pretentious and, albeit, predictable grounds you seem to adhere to, Mr. Beaks, consider castrating YOURSELF. It's pricks like you, shilling high and mighty bullshit at the rest of us, that make it satisfying to see Micheal Bay thrive. Somewhere along the line you lost the point about movies, they're supposed to be enjoyable. Oh, and Texas Tower Sniper? Seriously, WTF? This reads like a Dateline story, not legitimate critique.
So, you hated it for the kids. Kudos. by Executor	Jun 27th, 2008 01:44:18 AM
You're such a good person to hate a movie because you're worried about the morality of society. And worried that some people who aren't as smart and brilliant as you might get the wrong idea and think the movie is advocating murdering people if a loom talks to you. Maybe we should take The Incredible Hulk out of theaters so kids don't die from a self-inflicted gamma-ray overdose. "This pseudo-intellectual theater of idiocy needs nipped in the squib." Yeah...your "pseudo-intellectual" review makes absolutely no sense...and neither does your moralizing. The movie IS entertaining.
"I'm ridiculing the impressionable idiots they might inspire." by Executor	Jun 27th, 2008 01:46:37 AM
The only one worthy of ridicule here is you, Beaks.
Beaks, tell us this by Holodigm	Jun 27th, 2008 01:46:57 AM
your thoughts on V for Vendetta?
"woom"? Mr. Beaks? Really? by BadMrWonka	Jun 27th, 2008 01:46:58 AM

Thank You Executor... by therealhenryjonesjrjr	Jun 27th, 2008 01:48:11 AM
just...thank you.
sigh... by BadMrWonka	Jun 27th, 2008 01:48:22 AM
just kidding Beaks, you are Da "Bom"
ps the movie may be shit by aestheticity	Jun 27th, 2008 01:49:07 AM
but if it is itll have nothing to do with latent violence. i wont be seeing it anyway. ive started to find action movies boring and cinema tickets are too expensive now. and i just dont like that james mcavoy. he should be on tv shows about northern british families, looks out of place in a film.
Fight Club did inspire fight clubs by Bass Ackwards	Jun 27th, 2008 01:49:31 AM
Not saying that means anything in regards to this film, but people can be idiots, no use in denying it.
Another thanks for Executor by ColtCCO	Jun 27th, 2008 01:50:29 AM
Maybe it's earlier where you are, but you said it better than I did. The Nanny-knows-best elitism dripping from Beaks' review was sickening.
BadMrWonka by mrbeaks	Jun 27th, 2008 01:51:36 AM
I was straining for alliteration?
Strain to... by ColtCCO	Jun 27th, 2008 01:53:16 AM
review a movie on its artistic merit next time, not vomit your socio-political agenda all over us.
A very good review: pity there isnt more reviewers like him on h by wowsah156	Jun 27th, 2008 01:53:52 AM
A good honest review that hits the nail on the head. Hollyweird has been a propaganda machine for gun culture and military porn for the last good 28 years churned out by movie executives with cocainre habits that take away their critical judgement and being targetted by pornotrash seeking a casting couch momnet. Its in environments like this that morally devoid action movies for gun fetish teens get mad. Anyway, i actually liked Wanted because it kept the nihlism of Millars comic in that it wasnty a happy ending for Wesley. He was corrupted and broken by the Fraternity, which his father sought to avoid. so the badies won in a sense. But anyway a good review.
Hey Mr Beaks, I suggest that you go and castrate yourself... by Sledge Hammer	Jun 27th, 2008 01:55:32 AM
...seeing as how you seem to be the only one here who can't seperate filmic entertainment from actual reality. So yeah, take your holier than thou "I'm not influenced, but all those people dumber than me will be" bullshit and shove it sideways up your effite ass.
Yo, MrBeaks... by DarthCorleone	Jun 27th, 2008 01:58:09 AM
Great review. We've been on the same page for many movies for many years. I wasn't planning on going out of my way for this one, and you cemented that decision. Oh, and the last line was especially good.
Beaks warned you! by Forsakyn	Jun 27th, 2008 01:58:10 AM
Folks, in all seriousness, you may bitch at Mr. Beaks now... But in all fairness, when curving becomes the new driveby standard ("my baby boy was behind the wall when that muthafucka cuhved a bullet that missed me and blew my boy's head off!") you'll eat your words. As a part-time assassin, I am STRONGLY AGAINST curving. There's a 5% inaccuracy even among the best curvers - most are lucky to get by at 17% inaccuracy. Wanted is likely to be a black mark on assassins everywhere! DAMN YOU, WANTED!
Oh, and Mr. Beaks... by Forsakyn	Jun 27th, 2008 02:00:20 AM
In fairness, I do intend to see the movie this weekend. If I think it's crap I'll come back to this thread and say so. And if like it I'll say so and why. And just as a matter of reference - I really enjoyed Crank, but thought Shoot 'em Up was crap. Have a good weekend everybody!
Beaks by BadMrWonka	Jun 27th, 2008 02:02:00 AM
if you're actually aching for alliteration, I always advise alcohol as an alliterative accelerant...
I credit your passion, Sir Beaks by Sans Souci	Jun 27th, 2008 02:04:26 AM
While I don't think Blunted heralds the collapse of society, that doesn't mean it ain't looking like a summer stinker. There is indeed a weird watered-down "Fight Club" vibe in most of the trailers and previews. Impressive action sequences are cool, mais oui, but they don't replace having a cohesive story. Plus, James MacAvoy (a very credible and capable actor) seems to think he's in a National Lampoon production. He looks like one of the Hobbits trying to cop a bad 'tude or what not.
Great write-up, Beaks. by SmarkJobber	Jun 27th, 2008 02:09:13 AM
And did I say "Welcome back" yet? Your voice was sorely missed on AICN.
Brad Pitt knocked up Angie real good, by Groothewarrior	Jun 27th, 2008 02:11:03 AM
or was it her lezzie friends with turkey baster i wonder if shes a beard like Kidman all those years?
The First Credible Review On AICN In The Last 18 Months!!! by Media Messiah	Jun 27th, 2008 02:24:16 AM
This story from the beginning, this story has celebrated rape, murder, racism and Columbine style shooters, and getting away with it like that is something cool to aspire to??? Fight Club was cool because the lead formed a Al Qaeda like terrorist group that outgrew him to the point of entrapping him. His imaginary self, the villain, and everything anti-social that he wanted to be...an artifact of wish fulfillment granted...this, happened to represent a split personality. The lead's rational side, rejected this dark layer of himself, and attempted to escape it, and that was the brilliance of the piece--his attempt to escape the sudden encroachment of mental illness...with the only way out, self sacrifice. That was his redemption. However, Wanted, the graphic novel, written by a clearly mentally unstable writer, only sought to justify the fall into insanity by its protagonist, and his hate for all things he could not possess and control. The problem with said material, is that it can serve to influence others who will act on these sick fantasies and seek to bring them into reality by killing and raping people for real...and that is what the reviewer is warning us about--the potential to inspire evil acts, in a society that is already over the edge and dying thanks to too many of such deeds already. Frankly, we don't need the extra push into madness and anarchy. On the contrary, we need relief from it!!! So much for Ms. Jolie and Common being socially conscious humanitarians...for if they were, they wouldn't be starring in such perversely anti social films.
Owned! by fiester	Jun 27th, 2008 02:25:21 AM
Now that's how you do a fucking review. Well done!
by Philo	Jun 27th, 2008 02:30:11 AM
Kind of liked this; big dumb fun movie... Also enjoyed your review Beaks but dodn't agree with all your opinions. Taken to extremes, political correctness emasculates us all and would leave us no better than Wesley at the start of the movie or even worse, like him at the end. Anyway, at the end of the day it's just a big dumb movie to enjoy with the brain turned off and a smile on your face.
Amended: The First Credible Review On AICN In The Last 18 Months by Media Messiah	Jun 27th, 2008 02:33:31 AM
From the beginning, this story has celebrated rape, murder, racism and Columbine style shooters, and getting away with it like that is something cool to aspire to??? Fight Club was cool because the lead formed an Al Qaeda like terrorist group that outgrew him to the point of entrapping him. His imaginary self, the villain, and everything anti-social that he wanted to be...an artifact of wish fulfillment granted...serviced the story by representing his split personality. The lead's rational side, rejected this dark layer of himself, and attempted to escape it, and that was the brilliance of the piece--his attempt to escape the sudden encroachment of mental illness...with the only way out being, self sacrifice. That was his redemption. However, Wanted, the graphic novel, written by a clearly mentally unstable writer, only sought to justify the fall into insanity by its protagonist, and his hate for all things he could not possess and control. The problem with said material, is that it can serve to influence others who will act on these sick fantasies and seek to bring them into reality by killing and raping people for real...and that is what the reviewer is warning us about--the potential to inspire evil acts, in a society that is already over the edge and dying thanks to too many of such deeds already. Frankly, we don't need the extra push into madness and anarchy. On the contrary, we need relief from it!!! We need to step back from the edge...and acknowledge that our world is heading for a global devolution, if we don't stop this trend, and now!!! So much for Ms Jolie and Common being socially conscious humanitarians...for if they were, they wouldn't be starring in such perversely anti social films.
yeah whatever happened to MiraJeff anyway? by Holodigm	Jun 27th, 2008 02:38:32 AM
he disappeared...!!!
lol by slkboxrman	Jun 27th, 2008 02:39:20 AM
sorry but i always laugh at the idiot that claims that movies and videogames have an impact on "impressionable children", but laugh even harder when it comes from someone high on themselves cuz they review movies on AICN...the only people that copycat what they see on TV and the movies and video games are the ones with mental defects...its a movie, its entertainment, plain and simple..to break it down into the bain of civilization is an over reaction in the highest degree of over reaction....and i forget who posted earlier that thanks to this review it makes it a DVD rental instead of a go see....are u retarded, based on a review ? if i beleived every self deluded reviewers review of movies, i wouldnt have seen many movies.....if i think it looks good i go, if not , then not...what if he told u those tighty whities u bought one size too small cuz u think itll make ur dick look bigger are silly, would u stop wearing them ? lol......if anything is the bane , the killer, and the ultimate end of society, its the sheep that believe everything they see on the news or are told by someone that supposedly knows....everyone should question, the minute we stop questioning is when we all become dumb, brainless sheep, unfortunately i think more than %50 of americans are already too dumb to realize theyre dumb....sad
I am going to see "Get Smart" again this weekend!!! by Polk Fly Lice	Jun 27th, 2008 02:43:45 AM
If you want action, romance and comedy without the nihilism, "Get Smart"(2008) is ALL heart ;^) Things that i found endearing about "Get Smart" (2008): 1. The film has a very sweet story. 2. The cast is very good. 3. The action scenes are VERY well handled, especially for a comedy. 4. The story holds together under close scrutiny. 5. The pace of the film is tight. (I was surprised that the running time is 1:50 minutes) 6. The climax of the film happens in broad daylight (you know... so you can SEE what is happening) 7. Glorious Ludwig Van Beethoven music. 8. Anne Hathaway is very easy on the eyes, and she is also very good at setting up dramatic scenes. 9. This movie is not a parody, there are a couple of times were I got misty-eyed. 10. There seems to be a good amount of quality stunt-work in the movie. 11. The music is very energetic. 12. Mr. Carrell and Miss Hathaway are attractively dressed. 13. Budget looks like it was spent wisely, you can see all of it up on the screen. 14. The little puppy IS cute. 15. The cgi is minimal and well integrated. 16. There is also minimal shaky-cam.
AICN loves the act of taking a dump on a movie by Scapulawings	Jun 27th, 2008 02:52:13 AM
I'm 100% sure that this "review" was ready to be written this way long before this guy even saw the movie. So, what's the point exactly? Plus I like how he rails on how it's disgusting to identify with the protagonist when that's THE WHOLE POINT! It's supposed to creep you out that he's basically a normal dude that goes on a killing spree. It's supposed to be disturbing in that respect but the "reviewer" is so concerned about 14 year old kids' reaction to the film instead of actual adults who are able to ya know... think. It's supposed to be so cool that the killing goes down easy... that's the commentary. Duh!
Beaks didn't actually find anything wrong with the movie... by ZeroC	Jun 27th, 2008 02:54:14 AM
Except its message. He disagrees with the message of the film and thus he hates it. It's not that the film is badly acted, directed, written, or even that the story is bad, he just hates the message. And he so doesn't want to admit that the rest is good, that he has to do it under the veil of "oh well 14-year-old boys will find everything else good..." Yeah Beaks, so will most other demographics. This review is like bashing a romantic comedy, not because it's bad, but just because the reviewer doesn't like the genre.
This review makes me interested by polyh3dron	Jun 27th, 2008 02:58:42 AM
This is probably the first time I've read a review that was supposed to be panning a movie where it makes me want to see it even more. Boo fucking hoo, people get killed. It's a FUCKING MOVIE ABOUT ASSASSINS ASSASSINATING PEOPLE FOR CHRISSAKE.
Oh also, re: Get Smart by polyh3dron	Jun 27th, 2008 03:01:03 AM
Fuck the haters, that movie is awesome too.
David Poland said the same exact thing earlier this week by AlwaysThere	Jun 27th, 2008 03:03:29 AM
Great minds think alike.
That Beaks Guy... by Dreamseller	Jun 27th, 2008 03:07:00 AM
Man. This guy puts Harry to shame with his reviews. Keep up the good work Beaks.
I didn't know David Poland wrote for this site. by Holeman	Jun 27th, 2008 03:10:01 AM
Weird. I usually have to read one of his reviews to get insulted by this kind of pompous bullshit.
I Don't Think The Reviewer Is Attempting To Protect Kids!!! by Media Messiah	Jun 27th, 2008 03:14:01 AM
Most of the dangers are coming from those who know better, or should...that being adults. Sure evil, and or sick people, sometimes one in the same, are out there already...and they have, and will, act on their whims without influence, but the point is, why give them ideas to do worse than they already would, if left o thei own devices?
Amended: I Don't Think The Reviewer Is Attempting To Protect Kid by Media Messiah	Jun 27th, 2008 03:17:52 AM
Most of the dangers are coming from those who know better, or should...that being adults. Sure evil, and or, sick people, sometimes one in the same, are out there already...and they have, and will, act on their own whims without influence, but the point is, why give them ideas to do worse than they already would, if left to their own devices?
Not surprised... by SunTzu77	Jun 27th, 2008 03:23:54 AM
...about this one. It's a rental at best...for me.
beaks is right. by frankenfickle	Jun 27th, 2008 03:24:30 AM
don't let the bastards grind you down, brother.
Saw it. SPOILERS by Mr. Profit	Jun 27th, 2008 03:33:45 AM
To sum it up. Its not terrible. Its not good. Its average. It is a combination of different action movies. The first half is pretty good. The set up of Wesley's character is good. Angelina is good. The car chase is great. But after the training montage and the train accident, the movie falls off horribly. It is pretty bad. The ending ruins all before it. SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER: Did not like Angelina's decision at the end. It was a big mistake for any sequel potential. END SPOILER. Its like the movie gets you going and ends too soon in an unsatisfying fashion. Thing is, I can't trash the film, but its not worth full admission. This is DVD all the way. It would have been the shit in 97 in Nic Cage's heyday. But in a post Matrix world, the movie is just ok. And its a shame because I was really rooting for it. But lucky thing I saw it for free.
I HOPE MARK MILLAR READ THIS REVIEW by Steve Rogers	Jun 27th, 2008 03:47:38 AM
the smug, self-fellating berk.
Steve Rogers is right. by The-Duke-of-New-York	Jun 27th, 2008 03:58:13 AM
I loathed the comic book. I liked his Ultimate Marvel work, but everything else I've read by or about the guy leads me to think of him as a grade-A douche. As for the movie, it looks kind of like Ultraviolet's younger brother who just read Maximum Carnage and thought it was AWESOME.
Mr Beaks...Yawn by masteryoda007	Jun 27th, 2008 04:14:53 AM
Boring
Oh God!!!!!! by ChiefRoberts	Jun 27th, 2008 04:34:14 AM
If someone's not nuked the fridge, they're a Plant or Anti-Plant! Fuck the lot of you!!!! ; )
Wrong side of bed? by Andy247	Jun 27th, 2008 04:49:26 AM
At first I wondered what made you so eminently qualified to offer such insightful comment and then the answer came to me in a rare moment of clarity...... sod all. Worst..... review.... ever.
Dipshit design by kafka07	Jun 27th, 2008 05:20:22 AM
Ok it sounds like it sucks, but whose fault is it? How much should we blame Timur Bekmambetov for this idiocy? is the movie faithful to the graphic novel?
fucking amazing review. by Smoke Monster Loves Kate	Jun 27th, 2008 05:29:43 AM
and NO, it's NOT the comic book. the comic book is about VILLAINS. half this shit would make sense in that context. somewhat.
Agreed by 2LeggedFreak	Jun 27th, 2008 05:36:29 AM
Looks a simple-minded concept at best. Curving bullets, what a completely naff idea.
Whatever by auraboy	Jun 27th, 2008 05:46:28 AM
Okay the film may be naff but I'm pretty tired of people telling me that all characters in a film/book whatever must be sympathetic. Complete nihilistic anti-hero fucktards are just as artisitically relevant to human society and appreciation. Most of us are cunts anyway - why must every character be morally correct or deviant. Can't you be both? This isn't Sunday school. Face it, Fight Club worked because it celebrated and humiliated the character's motives at the same time. Maybe WANTED doesn't come close to that but I'm not going to blame it for people being too fucking dumb to revel in anti-social angst without worshipping it as a positive message.
Holy shit! This review... by depalma25	Jun 27th, 2008 06:05:38 AM
...is a total fucking buzz killer. Actually, I was mildly impressed with Night Watch and Day Watch, but was willing to concede the fact, that given good material...fuck it...I don't know what I thought. I can only imagine how great a movie like Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, would have been, without the interference from the studio. People are going bananas because Marvel is now its own movie studio. They're fucking up, like the rest of them. Just ask Edward Norton, who has seen his movie's box office tally fall sixty percent in its second week. Wanted will gross forty million in its first week as well. WALL-EE wil grosx sixty-five million. Business as usual.
Beaks... by hallowhitch31	Jun 27th, 2008 06:09:16 AM
Good review. Thank Christ you're here to save the mediocrity of the AICN writing staff. Also, great to see someone who will lambast a film everyone else is pooping themselves over.
basically the same B.O. numbers, give or... by depalma25	Jun 27th, 2008 06:09:31 AM
take a few million as Ang Lee's Hulk. "The override, sir, has been overriden." Um, not so fast.
this new Hulk movie by Smoke Monster Loves Kate	Jun 27th, 2008 06:23:17 AM
will do better on DVD than the original (though i liked ang lee's a lot), it has the sort of action scenes and ending that would make people remember and pick it up just to rewatch. abomination vs. hulk was damn fun.
Wow, Last Man Standing! by O_Goncho	Jun 27th, 2008 06:43:44 AM
I love that film... well, okay, maybe love is too strong a word, but I thoroughly enjoy it. (Yes, I know and love Yojimbo)
I think Beaks has a point but I still enjoyed the film by Tom Whitaker	Jun 27th, 2008 06:47:59 AM
There's really only one scene that his critique applies to, towards the end of the film, and I had the same problem that I did with the lobby scene in The Matrix. Part of an action film's duty, in my eyes, is to convince me that the people who get it deserve it and that the 'action' is the best course of action to solve whatever problem or plot issue there is. Neither The Matrix or Wanted convinced me of this in those scenes - it seems to me that it's innocent people getting slaughtered in style and while I don't think it's quite as problematic as Beaks does, it makes the scene a lot less enjoyable for me.
To clarify by Tom Whitaker	Jun 27th, 2008 06:52:51 AM
I don't think it's guilty of promoting violence against the innocent or anything like that, I think it just fails to establish what it needs to before that scene. Weak storytelling, not moral collapse.
This review was fascinating by O_Goncho	Jun 27th, 2008 06:55:13 AM
But I agree with the nihilism lovers. Nothing wrong with some escapist ultraviolence, so long as the emphasis remains on escapism and not putting a jihad on someone.
"unexplicated" - ???? by redtom	Jun 27th, 2008 07:26:50 AM
"unexplicated"???? jeeezus, what happened plain old "unexplained"?
The characters not being sympathetic by Mr. Profit	Jun 27th, 2008 07:27:33 AM
Is the least of the problems with the movie. The ending fucks the movie up. Big time. I can't believe that ending passed a test screening. What a way to fuck up any sequel potential by doing what they did. The movie was fun right until the train accident. Then it has a weak last act. If the ending sequence was more satisfying. The movie would have been great. But now it's just an average action movie that should be on the same shelf as The Transporter 2.
Does every movie have to be a metaphor? by WickedChicken37	Jun 27th, 2008 07:30:28 AM
Why can't a movie about killing simply be a movie about killing? And killing in cool ways? Just saying.
Killing in cool ways... by Mr. Profit	Jun 27th, 2008 07:43:06 AM
Final Destination films fit that bill. People go to see those movie with the sole purpose to watch teens die in elaborate ways. Why would people would be mad about the characters in Wanted? Wanted shouldn't work anyone up about the characters having no morals or souls. They are fucking assassins. I don't see how anyone can walk away from the movie feeling anything other than, "OK, when does Batman come out again?". This movie is not going to become iconic and imitated or remembered. It will be on the DVD shelf in October.
Beaks, you are a dick. by FluffyUnbound	Jun 27th, 2008 07:54:14 AM
First you say that the film jettisoned the notion of telling a story from the perspective of the supervillains, and then you complain that the philosophy behind the violence isn't sound or coherent. YOU MORON - if you told a story from the perspective of the villains, it would feature a set of unsound, but seductive, motivations. So you're mad at the film because it tried to do what you're complaining it didn't try to do.
Yawn... by maddox	Jun 27th, 2008 07:58:49 AM
Your review was fascinating pompous and trite.
Damn You Michael Bay by MCMLXXVI	Jun 27th, 2008 07:59:18 AM
Damn You Michael Bay
Thank God, Beaks is back at AICN by Smilin'Jack Ruby	Jun 27th, 2008 08:02:27 AM
I must've laughed ten times in this review. Sadly, as "Wanted" is inspiring just the craziest negative reviews (particularly that Lane-thing Poland linked to), obviously, it must be something to be seen to be believed. So, it's going to get my money anyway no matter how many warning signs are thrown up. Looking forward to the Beaks review of "Mamma Mia!"
Auraboy has it right. by FluffyUnbound	Jun 27th, 2008 08:03:15 AM
"Complete nihilistic anti-hero fucktards are just as artistically relevant to human society." Especially when there are 1,000,000 movies featuring good heroes [with an obstacle or problem] "rolled up" using Story as a DM guide. If every once in a while there's a movie built around some evil people doing evil shit, it breaks the monotony. Slasher films have "secretly" been about the villain for decades - I just saw this movie as an attempt to do that in the action genre instead of the horror genre.
Anyone who saw the trailer KNOWS this one sucks already by BenBraddock	Jun 27th, 2008 08:06:59 AM
But thanks for confirming it so wittily Mr.Beaks! From the director of "Nightwatch" - 'nuff said. Honestly.. curving bullets? Please.. And Angelina, the last possible piece of potential interest for me looks half emaciated. I'll pass thanks.
I love reading Beaks haters in Talkbacks. by Nordling	Jun 27th, 2008 08:34:40 AM
There's no better way to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak.
"WANTED is a massive step back for cinema" by godzillasushi	Jun 27th, 2008 08:47:10 AM
I may have misunderstood what you meant there Beaks...but assuming I got the right idea, I think those are strong words for a movie that looks destined to fall between the cracks. I think all of you are giving this movie too much credit for it's impact, or lack thereof. Hmmm....this review will get re-visited Monday!!!
call the wahmbulence by dr sauch	Jun 27th, 2008 09:10:26 AM
i'm seeing it. i thought mr. beaks was cool. oh well.
Damn, Beaks, you give good review by The Octagoner	Jun 27th, 2008 09:15:10 AM
Also, Fight Club is a shitty movie. Imbecilic bullshit from the syphilitic brain of a fifth-rate queer novelist. Just thought I'd add that. I gotta go teach a workshop this morning, but I'll be back to argue later, ladies.
No Thanks by TheLastCleric	Jun 27th, 2008 09:22:48 AM
I’m not trying to dampen anybody else’s enthusiasm but this film looks stale and ridiculous. After enjoy a heaping of well-made, realistic bloodshed with a thoughtful dénouement in Rambo, I really don’t have any desire to watch a 98 pound stick figure “curve” bullets or use “car-fu.” I love a good action flick but everything about this movie looks ridiculous and tedious, especially Jolie’s annoying fucking smirk, which seems to be the limit of her acting range. With Hellboy II and The Dark Knight only weeks away, I expect this one to come and go quickly. I’ll go watch the Hulk again this weekend.
Scalia looks a bit like Nixon by Sgt.Steiner	Jun 27th, 2008 09:26:38 AM
Beaks, the film is clearly not a "Minority Report"-style dissection. On the other hand, is it really wrong to be unnerved by "Dirty Harry", say, for mocking the essential rights that are designed for all citizens, including criminals, because we are a democracy? But, conversely, using the same moral telescope, one could also castigate "Leon" for its unblinking view of assassination. But the moral complexity of "Leon" would defy such a simple reading. So many questions. But it must be noted that what Beaks is not Michael Medved, and, hence, not a whiny reactionary bitch seeking an arcane return to the scrubbed caricatures of masculinity presented in MGM musicals("I'm looking at you, 'Anchors Aweigh'). Medved also feels a film's worth can be weighed in curse words or lack thereof, and in terms of value in propagating a racist, homophobic, right wing depiction of an America that never was, to castigate others for their lack of jingoism. Beaks seems a little more clear-headed than a tool. But still, this review raises more questions than it answers....
WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN!?!? FUCK THE CHILDREN!!! by BMacSmith	Jun 27th, 2008 09:49:16 AM
WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN!?!? FUCK THE CHILDREN!!! its rated R. give me a rated R movie and stop bitching about it turning our children to the dark side. this site of all sites cant say shit about this.
Moral baggage by earl of sandwich	Jun 27th, 2008 10:01:15 AM
I agree that the movie has some serious nastiness to it (saw last week), but seriously, who really thought this was going to be a film that you didn't check your brain at the door. Visually the film achieves something I haven't seen this summer, somthing to actually go "Holy Crap, did you just see that?" because it's so insane you can't help but appreciate it for it's inventiveness. Yes it's not truley "new", but I'd rather be telling my freinds about the crazy 5 minute gun orgy than an old man in a fridge......Bottom line, you want action this weekend? Go see Wanted (but save your pennies for Hellboy, cause it's gonna kick your ass)
impressionable by CAPTAIN_ROCKIT	Jun 27th, 2008 10:26:35 AM
when i was in fifth grade i was one of those kids that pretended to be the power rangers... so i kicked my brother in the forehead and then screwed the neighbor girl... she wasnt as hot as the pink ranger... but then again i couldnt play the recorder like the green ranger either...
Shutup, I like it... by NivekJ	Jun 27th, 2008 10:31:00 AM
...as the wyrm would say.
RE: Sgt.Steiner by godzillasushi	Jun 27th, 2008 10:36:52 AM
Seriously, do you talk like that in reality? I don't know what you said but it sounds like you've memorized a thesaurus and mastered the art of BS....hehe. Ahem, so WTF were you trying to say? Type it in 10 words or less.
Its one thing... by roboknob	Jun 27th, 2008 10:50:15 AM
Its one thing to enjoy mindless action, its another to glorify it. The comics glorify rape, violence and quick death. They are comics, not real life, but they DO inspire and influence. I guess these people who enjoy violence and short sighted viewpoints need a comic but life is a bit more... Just more, that's my problem with this, by shortening these strong elements it makes it cheap and scary. If they elaborated to enlighten people about possible pros and cons to these actions, THAT might be a movie (or book) worth watching. Hollywood can do better, dumbing things down helps keep people dumb.
Excellent review, Mr. Beaks! by Ninja Nerd	Jun 27th, 2008 10:56:10 AM
I've always felt a reviewer should "call 'em as he/she sees 'em" and most fail that obligation. This movie just doesn't appeal to me, from the trailers alone. If you're into gun porn and torture porn, good for you. I appreciate a well-crafted film , even if it's over-the-top violent, so long as there's some intelligence as to WHY as opposed to "this is a cool way to brutalize and degrade people...let's put it in!" Wanted just looks like trash in a slick wrapper. Note to flaming fanboys: I'm a military veteran and while I can't curve a bullet or shoot the wings off a fly, I did qualify Marksman and I did shoot at other human beings with the intent of killing them. And did, about a dozen times. 35 years later, I don't currently own a gun. Not for or against, just don't feel the need. I do have the ninja skills going for me and my carry weapon is an ASP police baton. Fits in my coat or back pocket and if I need to shift from hand-to-hand to defending against a knife, club, and/or multiple opponents, it's SNAP! WAP! WAP!...would you like those teeth back? It's fairly hard to kill someone with a stick, which is the driver here; I don't think a drunk or average asshole needs to die. They're stupid and only a little dangerous. I have a concealed carry permit and I did carry for several years, always because of job requirements. Now that I am a office-bound nerd, I don't need a hand cannon. Outside of the war, I've never had to shoot anyone, but I did draw on 2 occasions. I broke my own rule of "if you draw, you're shooting" because ending another human being's life is never trivial or fun or....entertaining. I don't know that movies like this cause idiots to emulate it. My experience is that fools are fools on their own with no outside help required. Lastly...off topic...Get Smart is a very good movie. I loved it a lot. The only part that fell flat was the Bill Murray/Agent 13 bit. The audience I was with just went "huh?" Other than that, it was well done. If you didn't like it, it's your loss.
Rambo by whitenoise27	Jun 27th, 2008 11:02:47 AM
I wonder how beaks felt about Rambo.
Wow... by Sledge Hammer	Jun 27th, 2008 11:13:13 AM
...just how many userids do you have to help sway the balance and pat yourself on the back Beaks? Ip's say quite a few...
Idiots have always been with us... by Zeke25:17	Jun 27th, 2008 11:23:40 AM
...and always will be. But you don't make an R-rated film based on how impressionable a portion of its audience will be. Remember when they actually started censoring Bugs Bunny cartoons, fer chrissakes? Couldn't show Elmer blasting Daffy's beak off, 'cause it might make the kids want to shoot every duck they see! Now just because I wasn't one of those kids--and certainly don't consider myself unable to distinguish fantasy from reality--I won't for one minute deny that several times throughout my life, I've fantasized about killing somebody. Not beating them up...fucking KILLING THEM. The imagined targets are the usual ones: any assholes at work, including your boss. The brain-dead football jock in high school who took your girl. Some shitbird who thinks it's perfectly okay to play rap music in his car at 100 decibels at 6 in the morning. Most folks, whether they own a gun or not, have thought at least once in such instances: BLOW EM AWAY. Yet most of us do not act on this, because we haven't gone completely nihilistic...not yet, anyway. The movies are our outlet (either that or, for the mildly retarded, paintball. Honestly: who came up with that?!?). No, friends, WANTED will not turn you into an assassin, no more so than Gross Pointe Blank or Kill Bill. But if nihilistic violence in a fantasy setting isn't your cup of tea, hey: there's always WALL-E, which looks like the second Pixar movie I'll be avoiding. And yes, GET SMART was damn good...a fun action movie with no anger behind it at all. But as most of us will admit--sometimes anger CAN be fun. Just ask the Hulk.
R by whitenoise27	Jun 27th, 2008 11:43:56 AM
It may be trash, but I am happy that studios are comitting to R rated films. Lest we forget the 90's and there lack of the wet stuff. Options are never a bad thing. This movie would have probably doubled its revenue had it been a PG-13. I am also guessing the Beaks would have called it a fun romp and give it a thumbs up like he did for The Core.
Curving the bullet is just about as lame as... by StovetopStuffin'	Jun 27th, 2008 11:46:28 AM
writing words and crossing them out in your review. Oh so clever. The moment you said you didn't like Nightwatch and Daywatch, you lost my respect.
Dear Mr. Beaks by drbenway59	Jun 27th, 2008 11:58:48 AM
Thank for giving this movie a bad review. I needed it. Society needed. Cinema needed it.
And another thing... by drbenway59	Jun 27th, 2008 12:02:06 PM
The movie doesn't offend me as a human being, but as a lover of film. It's asinine, pandering, juvenile, derivative. It's for ten-year-olds who have never seen an R-rated movie (or The Matrix) before.
Nice review, Beaks by Drunken Rage	Jun 27th, 2008 12:13:47 PM
I probably won't see it due to all the hype; I imagine it's a lot like "Jumper" in that respect: a good trailer, interesting premise but ultimately not worth the trip to the theater.
Bravo , Beaks! by Raymar	Jun 27th, 2008 12:16:46 PM
At least the comic committed to being about evil people. Trying to have them all be "good bad guys" is such a pathetic cop out.
when the title said you 'perforated the film' by smackfu	Jun 27th, 2008 12:19:51 PM
it kind of implied that you broke it's hymen, ie you just fucked it in the back seat of your car on prom night. You should change the title, because if one doesn't actually read the review past the title and first few paragraphs, they may come away thinking you like the film, and are in fact, a twat.
Equilibrium by whitenoise27	Jun 27th, 2008 12:22:12 PM
Was terrible, just a friendly reminder. Also I am excited to see Wall-E this weekend...which is aimed at 7 year olds. Ageist.
that review was entertaining by CherryValance	Jun 27th, 2008 12:39:59 PM
Seriously. I had no intention of seeing this movie. I like James McAvoy but it looks stupid. My brain wants to question why an actress like Angelina takes movies like this. And then I hear about her making more gigantic donations and I realize she'll go bankrupt if she doesn't. So she's forgiven. I have no explanation for Morgan Freeman though.
Step backwards for cinema? by Pompoulus	Jun 27th, 2008 12:54:10 PM
Why exactly? Because it advocates killing? Really, that's a step backwards for cinema? You know what I call that? Fantasy. You never had a violent fantasy Beaker? Should I really have to explain this to someone who supposedly enjoys movies, the concept of fantasy? This is yet another tired bullshit "videogames/movies/musics/etc are evil because they motivate THE TEENS to kill" tirade. Fucking yawn. You and your buddy Jack Thompson must have a lot to talk about.
Right on, Pomp! by Zeke25:17	Jun 27th, 2008 12:58:30 PM
And please read my post above; it appears either no one else has, or they just didn't give enough of a damn to respond to its provocation.
Beaks leaves CHUD and THEN becomes a cynical ass? by BitterMan23	Jun 27th, 2008 01:04:16 PM
Come on man, this movie is fucking great. Not everything can be as flawless as Down With Love.
that was really written well by ArcadianDS	Jun 27th, 2008 02:36:23 PM
excellent use of prose in that review.
whitenoise27 by just pillow talk	Jun 27th, 2008 02:38:05 PM
Wrong!
You know that myth... by drbenway59	Jun 27th, 2008 03:20:18 PM
... that nerds are smart? Wanted and the reaction it's getting from sites like this just pissed on it.
just pillow talk by whitenoise27	Jun 27th, 2008 04:19:41 PM
You have point. I think I was just muckraking. I liked Equilibrium.
Hey, a geek film... by MyManD316	Jun 27th, 2008 04:37:58 PM
...That the critics love and geeks hate? What has the world come to? I liked it, by the way. Fuck social responsibilities. I don't go to an escapist summer flick to think about "real" things.
Damn You MCMLXXVI by TheyCallMeMisterBay	Jun 27th, 2008 05:20:33 PM
Damn You MCMLXXVI
Beaks is right! by Wed Vid Guy	Jun 27th, 2008 05:35:35 PM
Holy shit was this a shit sandwich. Worst movie of the year.
If only the man actually critiqued the quality of the film. by Pompoulus	Jun 27th, 2008 08:25:54 PM
No, he seemed content to rail on how immoral anybody who enjoyed it was because the protagonist was a killer for hire. Stop the fucking presses and call the FCC. A hero with low character, what a step backward for cinema-- which up till now has been packed wall to wall with righteousness and wholesome family values.
Beaks switches sides more than by AlwaysThere	Jun 27th, 2008 09:59:48 PM
Ahhhh, I don't even know how to end that joke, so all I'll say is that he could have eviscerated this movie more than he did and wouldn't be enough.
Beaks is so damned serious ... by DennisMM	Jun 28th, 2008 12:19:30 AM
and lots of you are so damned offended by it. Pretty serious, ennit? What's worse, taking a film too seriously or taking a review of a film too seriously? I won't see this in theaters and probably not on DVD for years and years, precisely because it sounds from all reviews I've read like another two hours of cheap humor and cheaper death. If I want an interesting film about assassins and an innocent I'll watch "Leon" again.
Sounds good.... by travis-dane	Jun 28th, 2008 01:27:36 AM
I`ll see it!The Russian trailer was great!
I dunno Dennis. by Pompoulus	Jun 28th, 2008 03:52:27 AM
What about taking a review of a review too seriously? I think you're taking the comments of the review of the movie too seriously. Or maybe I'm just being too serious.
That's fine Yackbacker. by Pompoulus	Jun 28th, 2008 04:00:59 AM
Of course it's 'valid'. A review is somebody's subjective opinion, you'd have a hard time finding an 'invalid' one. So by that standard, yes, gold star.
five words hollywood... by deecalhoun	Jun 28th, 2008 04:35:53 AM
STICK TO THE SOURCE MATERIAL.. this movie could have been something unique in movies this summer if it wasn't for the "reworking the story to make it work on film " Jezz,As they say in the film business, stick to the" f" script!!
Well. by Pompoulus	Jun 28th, 2008 12:32:04 PM
Far be it for me to start looking like I'm waving the banner to defend Wanted, I'm not saying the movie is good. I'm just wondering what the enlightened place was that all of cinema was walking to, that a vapid popcorn flick is a step backward. I think that's a bit much, I think it's okay to turn your brain off now and then without feeling like you're ruining both society and cinema. And since I reject basically the only point the guy made, I can't help but reject the review.
Fight Club was TERRIBLE by crankyoldguy	Jun 28th, 2008 07:55:46 PM
Unwatchable. STOOPID. And this is coming from someone who really has punched out people in public.
This was a terrible movie. \| MoM by Mostholy	Jul 1st, 2008 03:27:47 PM
And Beaks is basically on target. I didn't dislike it because it might corrupt children. I didn't like it because it was aggressively dumb and derivative. Also, Memories of Murder, it's Samuel BECKETT. You got it wrong twice, and thus pretty much confirmed you're a dumbass who doesn't know what he's talking about.
wow, beaks by eloy	Jul 3rd, 2008 11:03:40 AM
Pretty loathed review,I gotta say, and that really surprises me; outside of Vern's constantly knocked out of the park contributions, I think this is the best AICN review I've ever come across.
Henry Winkler by Mike Fornes	Jul 8th, 2008 09:07:56 PM
did it better in Night Shift

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