Also Harry heres a tip, when you review films, besides wasting 300 words on saying it's shit, loose some word on why it's shit. Give an example of it's shittyness.

Especially if you're asking for the death of someones career in the 1st paragraph.

Enjoy!

Did last years Spidey 3 teach the fansites nothing?

People seriously expect too much from TDK, no way it's gonna meet everyones expectations.

If it does its gonna be like a war-stopping, world-hunger-solving, bringing-back-elvis-from-the-d ead miracle of a movie.

Jokingly - the only problem I can imagine with this film - is to not watch your fellow audience members - and ponder their faces as they witness this magnifico. OR - like in my theater - there were 4 ladies sitting to my left that actually didn't laugh throughout the film. They were literally alone. They were middle-aged and seemingly wasted. I can account for their reactions. ATTENTION - SEE AT ALL COSTS!!!

It can't be worse than Freddy Got Fingered...can it? CAN IT???

It's kind of like a guy a the National Turd Convention who passes on the buffalo turd on a stick booth but is first in line at the hippo turd fondue vendor.

It doesn't matter if it's directed by a bum named Marco Schnabel (I had to look up the Love Guru guy too) or one of the greatest directors of our time, Steven Spielberg. Bad dialogue, bad characters and jokes that fall flat shouldn't be given a resounding pass on one project and them brutally punched in the face on other.

This review should have been what Harry wrote for Semi-Pro as well because that movie didn't make me laugh once and was more generic than a redneck drinking Bud Light at a Toby Keith concert. But, he gave it a pass. I thank Harry everyday for this site and in a weird sort of way I love the guy in a way that you can love someone you've never met but his reviews........I don't get them.

Bottomline is no major reviewer seems to be calling for Indy's head or is really upset over it. Thats pretty much just the geek sites. And if geeks can get passionately angry, and art is subjective, than why is it so odd that the movie made Harry passionately happy.

I feel like this whole movie was concieved one day when Mike Myers was sitting around his office doing stupid voices/impressions and did this one and his agents were like "OH YEAH THATS FUNNY! You should make that into a movie!" Then he did a different voice and his agents where like "OH YEAH THATS FUNNY TOO! YOU SHOULD MAKE THAT A MOVIE AS WELL!" Then he did a combination of the two voices and his agents where like "OH MAN THATS HE BEST YET, YOU SHOULD MAKE THAT ANOTHER MOVIE! AND MAKE SEQUELS TO THEM!" Well all except his new agent who couldn't speak because Mike's balls where still in his mouth.

Still, the masses have spoken. They want their joyless Dark Knight, skanky women in NYC, and the latest Dreamworks Happy Meal. And I'm sure the reduced/reused/recycled comedy of The Love Guru will pack 'em in the multiplexes this weekend. But Mike Meyers needs to do another "54" to recharge his mojo.

A professional review would have reviewed this movie on its own merits and not panned on it because it wasn't Austin Powers. "Get me a crocodile soup and make it snappy....because crocodiles bite and also I want it quickly *coy smirk*"

The joke isn't explained because it needs explaining or because Myers felt he had to explain them - its because the character himself is just that kind of guy. Its endearing and cute, which is the whole point.

oh and well done on the shit and abortion references. Those look great next to the big giant obit to that dead puppet maker with cancer. Class Act all the way at AICN.

And no, I will not be seeing THE LOVE GURU. Sorry Mr. Myers.

Keep in mind, this is the guy who gave a thumbs down to Die Hard, Man On Fire, Exiled, The Usual Suspects, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Full Metal Jacket, Gladiator, The Mist, Army of Darkness, Reservoir Dogs, Underworld, You Kill Me, The Untouchables, My Cousin Vinny, Empire of the Sun, Spider Man, O Brother Where Art Thou, Fletch, The Scout, Grindhouse, Brazil, Snatch, X-Men, Uncle Buck, Robocop 2, The Professional, The Jerk and The Thing just to name a few.

I can see people saying, "But the Coens suck, Len Wiseman sucks, Raimi sucks, Singer sucks and Ridley Scott hasn't made a good movie since Blade Runner." I can actually see people saying those things although I strongly disagree. And as a movie goer who doesn't get paid for their opinion, someone is entitled to hate Die Hard and The Untouchables. But as a paid movie critic? Ummmm, no. Especially when you give glowing reviews to Crystal Skull, The Happening, Cellular, Flightplan, Gosford Park, Sky Captain, The Brave One, Jersey Girl, Spawn, To Die For, Copycat, Signs, The Alamo, The English Patient, The Polar Express, The Weather Man and The Golden Compass.

Call me an arrogant fucknut, but on no plane of existence should Flightplan be a 3 and a half star (out of four) movie while The Untouchables is a lowly 2 and a half stars. And OK, that's your opinion, I'll deal with it. But your have ZERO credibility as a movie critic.

I still like Ebert, I don't wish him death, but I consult my sperm rag for it's opinions on movies before I see what Ebert has to say.

And like I said, Ebert is an excellent writer. His books (yup, I've read them) are great and no one can formulate a positive opinion about drek like The Happening like he can. I honestly hope he recovers 100% and lives a long life.

I won't condone the stinkers Mike Myers has made, but as a fellow Canadian and Maple Leafs fan, I can't bring myself to slander him, but I'll enjoy reading you do it. So flame on!

It was a bad film. I hate to say that because it is stirring in some places and it has beautiful cinematography, but it really is a mess. One of it's main problems is that it really doesn't know what it is. Is it a thriller? Is it a horror movie? Is it funny? I have no idea. It starts out with such great promise, but then, you just see the same thing over, and over, and over.

Roger Ebert arrogantly said that most people are not thoughtful enough to like it, but that's not true. I GET what he is saying- that it's a movie that kind of allows you to think about the "bigger picture". But even if you go with that, it STILL doesn't work because all of that quiet reflection is interrupted by some of the most ridiculous deaths you have ever seen in a big budget movie. At the end, its basically nothing more than a horror movie, and a very bad one at that. It even ends in a cliche way- you THINK the thing is gone but oh no, it's happening in Paris! What it reminded me most of was Final Destination- all it needed was a kid blowing up at the end, like in the second movie.

And don't get me started on the ham-fisted way it pushes politics down our throats. It's an offensive movie on a lot of different levels.

However, Harry, I would remove any comparison about the Shoah from your review. It is extremely distasteful to compare an evil act of genocide with a ridiculously stupid film.

It's been 10+ years since I watched them so I remember nothing but were Ransom and Backdraft any good?

And Shymalan eats hot dogs with his cheese and crackers. And he follows it up with a refreshing lemon drink.

And that's just fine with me.

he wants to know when his other 8 years of funny will arrive.

They are not to be taken seriously though. Just pure entertainment to see how much sexual innuendo he can cram into every sentence.

I can't even read HuffPo anymore because all the news on there is depressing.

What you mean he just lost your vote? You were already saying after he beat out Hillary as the Dem nominee that you would vote for Mccain.

Second, you are obsessed with black men and their penises, and this causes you a lot of grief and anger because of all your penis envy. So much so, that you need to imagine some type of trauma or damage happening to a famous black man's penis, Danny Glover, in order to cause blood to come out of it to feel better. And this is what you've chosen as your identity. A small-dicked white dude who needs to imagine blood coming out of Danny Glover's penis to feel good about himself.

Come November, you should probably change your name to BARACKOBAMA'S_DICKBLOOD to ease your rampant insecurities.

How can someone say they had a blast watching Rise of the Silver Surfer and then call X3 a bad movie? Think about that long enough and you're guaranteed an aneurysm.

I love Will Farrel but Semi-Pro was garbage. Not a single laugh delivered. Harry's take? It was awesome! And I can't imagine The Love Guru being much worse and yet he rakes it over the coals.

I haven't seen this much inconsistency since I witnessed the Log Cabin Republicans protesting a gay pride parade.

Just take his reviews for what they are: an obscenity-filled ride that deliver the comedy goods.

Anyone who has ever held their two-year old son on their lap while watching a football game, while saod toddler is wearing his new pair of baby jordans, or worse, corrective shoes, can testify to the fact that the left nut is far more sensitive than the right nut to a swinging foot.

Love Guru must be horrendous.

Beeslo - actually this review tells us more than Harry's worst review ever - go look at the Incredible Hulk "review" and tell me if you found a shred there. I sure couldn't!

Yeah I know I posted this on another thread. So what you wanna fight about it?

- He signs on for Shrek 4 AND 5 because, well, it's a payday and he doesn't have to do anything original

- He decides to approach Universal about making Cat In The Hat Comes Back

- Austen Powers:Goldmember

- He shaves his head in a Tarzana beauty salon just to make the cover of People magazine

- He lobbies for an American run of the play Equus just so he can expose his cock n' balls without having to create a new euphemism.

- He petitons Michael Bay to let him cameo as the Ice Cream Truck in Transformers 2....so long has his robot has talk in a Scottish accent.

And the last way you can tell Mike Meyer's has lost it: When he finally writes a new original movie again it's called "So the Axe Murderer Found My Career"

But to your point, I give Cohen credit for milking his characters, then "retiring" them, unlike Myers.

And yes, Alba is still hot. A MILF now, I guess...

BUT, still not as bad as Strange Wilderness. I saw that recently and wondered how the images stuck to film, it was so bad. Haven't, and will never watch Meet The Spartans or Superhero Movie, so I can't say 100% what is the years worst attempt at comedy.

But seriously, Myers has sucked for a looonnngg time. Trudat on that statement about making a man laugh...a friend lent me the Austin Powers DvDs and I couldn't even finish the second one much less start the 3rd. Is there really a big market for "Guy drinks concoction of piss/vommit/jizz/diahrea still? You guys were freaking out over how funny American Pie was and outside of Stiffler I still don't get it...this is the same humor only no Stiffler. The first one had some cleverness to it and mostly cause of Dr. Evil. But nothing Myers can or will do could possible top the potential of Sprokets. It was in DevHell not too long ago and since has gone ballyhoo and yes...it would still suck....at least it's better than Shrek 4 right? I can do a pitch perfect Scottish accent and people just want to throw shit at me now. Thanks to fucking Mike Myers. Dick.