http://tinyurl.com/4nv64x

It's just disappointing and lacklustre.

Munich was 2/3rd's brilliant with a turd-tastic last segment. It should have finished after the woman got shot.

I'll say it again - I was more entertained by Michael Bay's TRANSFORMERS than I was INDY 4. And to think that I would actually prefer to watch any of the STAR WARS prequels over INDY 4 makes me shudder to my very pseudo-geek bones.

How could this happen?!?!?

Which is Lucas's fucking nadir. Although TPM and Sith aren't that far from it.

Can you imagine the meeting they must have had when someone said, "You know, instead of having the Paramount logo turn into a MOUNTAIN, we could have it turn into a MOLEHILL! You know the old saying, right? Well, we could do a reversal of THAT and make a molehill out of a mountain!!"

Who were the dillweeds sitting around that table who popped boners and said, yeah! yeah! Probably the same group that green-lighted the Tarzan stuff.

Remember the review of JJ Abrahms Superman, that ultimately killed that version? Well how about the reverse, a review for a script that never existed that actually gives some praise or hope for what could have been. I have a feeling Mori might actually be a little frightened of the Beard and The Neck (Lucas, my God dude, they have procedures that would remove that disgusting Jabba bulge!). So if Mori is frightened of their retaliation, and what it might mean for his future in the industry, well I can't blame him. But if that really is the case, can't you just "give it" to Vern, and have, uhh, "him" write up a kick ass review that dishes on the real deal! Come on dude, give up the info!

We need to start pestering Moriarty, we know he read it, and liked it, so why not give us the scoop on what was there, what wasn't. I am going to start trolling around and posting this on other talkbacks to drum up support, now...WHO IS WITH ME?!?!?!

And don't try to claim that this wasn't a foregone conclusion. Please, don't make me laugh. The process that led to the creation of this abomination has been well-documented both on this site and elsewhere. And even if it wasn't, you all have the example of the Star Wars prequels - which you guys ALSO paid for. And then there were several reviews ON THIS SITE that told you in no uncertain terms that Indy 4 was the movie YOU'D BEEN DREADING. So don't try to claim you DIDN'T KNOW Crystal Skull was going to suck. You guys helped make this turkey happen.

You see, although Lucas keeps tossing off his lazy, amateurish CGI demos, YOU keep paying to see them, no matter how bad they get. And then you come here to bitch and moan about how terrible these movies are - thinking that your hate and anger is going to make a difference. Well sorry to inform you: it doesn't make the slightest difference to Lucas. Okay, maybe AT BEST it gives him ten seconds' worth of annoyance or disappointment to hear that fanboys hate his movies. But then he sees the fifty million dollars you've just handed him over the weekend - and a smile creeps across his face. Because it confirms that he did EVERYTHING right. So he goes and makes another lazy, amateurish piece of horseshit, secure in the knowledge that no matter how much you guys bitch and moan, you'll still keep handing over your money. So why should he stop?

He'll stop only when you sheep stop going to his movies. Money's the only language he understands. So remember that when you're walking out of MUTT WILLIAMS AND THE DUCK-MEN FROM VENUS, furious at having had your childhoods raped - AGAIN. Because you paid for the MUTT WILLIAMS movies too.

I take back a few of the negative things I've said about you Merriman, excellent suggestion!

You fucking smug cunt.

Although I would buy Duck-men for a dollar. You can never go wrong with duck men.

Therefore I feel it is absolutely my duty to tell you that the polemic you've just typed does not make you look like some sort of filmic nostradamus, rather it is evidence of your many obvious personality flaws.

WAAAAAAAAAAAH, I WAS RIGHT, WAAAAAAAAH, VALIDATE MEEEEEEEEE!

I can't stand the insufferable little fucker, and all the shit that comes from him.

There are some mattes that look kinda fake though. Most notably, the cliff-waterspray in ToD and the reddish stalagtite scene in ToD where they're about to discover the thugee sacrifice ritual.

Look, I disagree with people who are trying to paint Crystal Skull as an abomination. All any of the Indiana Jones movies were ever meant to be is a ridiculous, escapist romp through foreign locations with crazy stunts and evil villains and plucky female sidekicks. It just happened that the first one somehow hit the mark in just the right way and created cinematic perfection in a way none of the others could ever expect to live up to. Even as a weaker entry, there are plenty of places in Crystal Skull where Spielberg's cinematic eye and ability to frame shots and create moments where a lesser director would just push through are in evidence.

But--not to beat a dead horse--the complaints against CGI are 100% right, and Spielberg knows in his heart of hearts that this is true. The obvious examples (swinging on vines with monkeys) are obvious, but how about the scene with the siafu (actually, aren't those the ones in Africa?) ants? This is a good idea for a scene, and perfectly in keeping with the Indiana Jones MO: since it's an exotic location, pop in something that we're kind of vaguely aware of as being out there somewhere, which would be neat to see as part of a set piece.

But while a giant army of killer ants that can strip the flesh off a goat in a minute--and REALLY DO exist in the real world--is a cool idea, doing the whole thing in CGI just trains us from the first minute to think of it as artificial. Compare it to the snake pit in Raiders. Of course we know that Indy's gonna get out of it, and we can kind of see the reflection on the piece of glass separating Harrison Ford from the cobra, but dammit if we can't tell that we're looking at a giant pit of real live slithering breathing existing-in-the-real-world snakes. And it's scary and claustrophobic and tense. The snakes aren't making a cute snake ladder out of themselves to try and climb up that statue to get Indy; they don't need to--just their presence (and a single shot of one slithering through Marion's shoe) is heavy enough to be threatening.

Imagine if Spielberg and co. had actually tramped out to the jungle somewhere to find some real killer army ants, had had to spend a week setting up the logistics of how to get their shots without getting killed, if all the stagehands had gotten bitten a time or two, if Cate Blanchett had gone on Letterman with an anecdote about how frightening it was to sleep in a tent for ten nights somewhere on location with the ants somewhere out there, if Spielberg had discovered that the ants just wouldn't move according to his original vision, but he found a new shot ten times better in trying to set the original one up. Then the scene would have a real presence and fullness that this one, well-choreographed and well-lit as it is, just doesn't; it's technically perfect, but it's not scary and we never for a minute think it's real. That's the problem with CGI, and it doesn't seem to be going away as CGI gets better and more real-looking; it's just training us to be unimpressed by things that by all rights should be impressive.

And Lucas didn't get a penny from me. Your money, on the other hand, made him richer.

I'll be back here to tell you this again when the Mutt Willams franchise gets going.