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The Decidedly NSFW Teaser For Kevin Smith's ZACK & MIRI MAKE A PORNO Is Now Online!!

YES! by LordAcoustic	May 30th, 2008 10:34:46 AM
Can't Wait!
FIRST!!!! by cupp555	May 30th, 2008 10:34:51 AM
YEAH!!!
And First! by LordAcoustic	May 30th, 2008 10:35:05 AM
WooHoo!
LordAcoustic by cupp555	May 30th, 2008 10:35:57 AM
You stole my bit!
Uh, is the link broken? by kdoc13	May 30th, 2008 10:36:23 AM
I can't get it to work.
Never mind, got the ones on the site to work. by kdoc13	May 30th, 2008 10:39:59 AM
Sorry.
kdoc13 by LordAcoustic	May 30th, 2008 10:39:59 AM
It's not working on my Safari - but it worked fine on Firefox
Awkwardly unfunny by LockesLOSTkidney	May 30th, 2008 10:47:14 AM
Is this the best they could do for a trailer? It actually manages to be less funny the 'I'm fucking Seth Rogan'. Surely Kevin Smith has more to offer than this?
Not a hater, but that sucked. by beastie	May 30th, 2008 10:47:39 AM
SAME OLD JOKE! I like some Smith films, but I wish he would at least try to grow up. That stuff was funny when I was a teenager into my early 20s, but it's really lost it's edge. I know that he has it in him to grow up and write an intelligent comedy that doesn't rely on anal sex jokes, but he seems content to please the fans that will love him no matter what. He should really try his hand at adapting something (Nick Hornby, perhaps) and maybe it will infuse him with the spark needed to write comedy for those in their 30s and 40s.
Kevin Smith by TheLastCleric	May 30th, 2008 10:54:01 AM
I like Kevin Smith and I own most of his films (I hated Chasing Amy and Jersey Girl isn’t something I’d ever watch) but I’ve reached a point where I think I’ve outgrown his humor and style, not so much because I’ve matured but rather because his work seems so one note. I’d still like to see him branch out and do an action film or a superhero flick because the man has talent but the quirky, smug, clever shit has just about run its course, at least for me personally.
Dumb... by jimmy rabbitte	May 30th, 2008 10:59:36 AM
...looks very dumb.
Remember it's NOT a trailer by Marsellus	May 30th, 2008 11:02:50 AM
only a teaser, this scene won't even be in the final cut, according to Smith who wrote on his blog : "it's not a trailer; it's a teaser. There ain't a frame of footage in this puppy that's in the actual flick, so feel free to watch it without fear of "spoilers". This is just a little something to give you a bit of a feel for the flick." That said, it's not hilarious indeed, but it doesn't really suck either.
I'd rather eat my own shit by Drunken Rage	May 30th, 2008 11:04:08 AM
than see another stupid Kevin Smith movie. Not funny, over-written pieces of tripe.
crappy teaser. by mish87	May 30th, 2008 11:16:10 AM

The spelled cumming wrong... by Zeegloo	May 30th, 2008 11:17:09 AM
Oh... THAT'S gross!! Knocked Up will own this shit
What are you all talking about? That was hilarious! by brokentusk	May 30th, 2008 11:22:40 AM
I laughed out loud at the "how wide can you butt stretch? Just say when..." bit. Very funny stuff and great teaser.
Now Kevin Smith is trying to make Judd Apatow movies by Garbageman33	May 30th, 2008 11:39:13 AM
Cumming soon is a direct ripoff from Knocked Up. And Seth Rogen's read of "just say when" is the same line and the same inflection he used in Superbad when they were trying to figure out how tall the robber was. Making movies like that must seem really easy (vulgar, with an underlying sweetness). But no one else seems to be able to do it. And this doesn't look any different than all the other pretenders. It just seems to be pretending a lot harder.
WOW!! by Raindog789	May 30th, 2008 11:45:39 AM
That was abysmal. Bad....very, very bad.
Kevin Smith Is A Lousy Filmmaker!!! by Media Messiah	May 30th, 2008 11:46:25 AM
Kevin Smith has been allowed to get away with making a series of truly horrible films simply because he claims to be a geek and down with the fan boys. No excuses...and the same with Robert Rodriquez. Either you make good or great films, or you don't...and these guys are in the don't section. So why is the geek and fan boy community constantly giving them a pass, especially Smith???
What are people's complaints about Rodriguez? by beastie	May 30th, 2008 11:51:05 AM
He's not my favorite by a long shot, but I like to see his movies (sans kid films) for the eye candy. I don't think he's great, but he makes a good looking movie that's fun to watch when you can't be bothered to care about art.
To the haters by JaviT	May 30th, 2008 11:54:52 AM
because Kevin Smith is very, very entertaining. I am looking forward to this FLICK very much. No matter how much you say you hate him and his FLICK, he is still gonna make `em (FLICKS) so move on and make your own.
damn by imascooby1985	May 30th, 2008 11:58:04 AM
No wonder Kevin Smith says he cant come on these boards or else he will get depressed. You folks really have it out for him. Personally I am a fan of the guy and dig all of his films. And people bitching that he needs to branch out need to realize thats exactly what he is trying to do. He tried it once with Jersey GIrl and everyone revolted against him. Now he is leaving the Askewniverse again wih this film and people dont appreciate it. Hell his next film, Red State, is going to be a horror film. And people will still be bitching about him doing the same thing. Anyone who can say that Mallrats is the same as Chasing Amy, which is the same as Dogma is an idiot.
flick by imascooby1985	May 30th, 2008 11:58:58 AM
But I will admit that the guy does say flick a lot.
This isn't branching out. by beastie	May 30th, 2008 12:09:38 PM
This is the same shit, but without Jay and Bob. I would actually prefer it if he had made this with them. I at least respect his attempt with Jersey Girl. He tried something without his safety net of shock humor. I don't hate him. I actually root for his movies to be good, but he hasn't made a good one in a while. I will admit that I am rooting for this one to flop so that maybe he will try something radically different. Kevin Smith is like the way my 8th grade geography teacher would describe me: "There's so much potential, but he's content to do the bare minimum to get by". He could make great comedy, but he would rather make comedy that only appeases his nerd (I say nerd in a bad way here) fans. He could grow-up and go down in film history with a great library of hit and miss comedies like Woody Allen (but on a lesser scale), but he is becoming what he has spoken out against: the writing/directing version of Pauly Shore.
Lame by TooWhippy	May 30th, 2008 12:20:10 PM

Easily the least funny thing I've seen this week... by Sledge Hammer	May 30th, 2008 12:24:56 PM
...and I just came back for a funeral. By this point Kevin Smith has completely proven that he was nothing but a flash in the pan, and his same old tired sctick has more than run it's course, yet he seemingly insists on continually running it even further into the ground with each new half assed effort. His writing hasn't grown, hasn't changed or matured in any way. His direction makes the likes of Ratner and Boll look like James Fucking Cameron in comparison, and worst of all Smith seems completely content with just trotting out the same tired shit over and over to diminishing returns. He seems to have absolutely no interest in actually bettering himself in any way as a film maker. All he does is make films for his already devoted flock now, and if he was ever capable of expanding his horizons and going onto bigger and better things, a complete sense of filmmaking apathy seems to have prevented him from doing so. It's hard to know if he truly is a one trick pony or not, because he's never bothered to try to show us anything other than his one damn trick over and over again. If you still enjoy that one stale trick then more power to you, me, I'm not giving smith another fucking cent of my hard earned until he makes something different and interesting, but I'm not holding my breath expecting that to happen any time soon. Just my view anyway.
I'd like to make a porno with Elizabeth Banks by beetlegeuse	May 30th, 2008 12:26:56 PM
Seth Rogen not so much
Could have been better by WMD	May 30th, 2008 12:30:06 PM
If it was half as long and grouped with the other steps in making a porno. Beating those jokes into the ground does not make them funnier. But hope lives.
And to top it all off... by JimBobCooter	May 30th, 2008 12:32:14 PM
No nudity from Elizabeth Banks. And I think the scene would be funnier if we actually saw some of the people who would audition for a local porno. Like Waiting for Guffman but scarier. And it had me until the poo. Is defecation a staple of porn now?
Jason Mewes must die!!!!! by BetaRayBill07	May 30th, 2008 12:32:21 PM
Seriously. If I ran into him on the street, he's getting punched in the face. This is not a joke- I'd pound him senseless. Osama Bin Laden deserves it more, but he's a close second.
Really revolting, like most Kevin Smith crap by Behemoth	May 30th, 2008 12:42:07 PM
Amazingly, this clip makes Elizabeth Banks far less attractive to me, and I didn't think that was possible. Thanks, Kevin Smith, you perverted Yetti hack. Good lord, your films suck ass.
boo by tsfogg	May 30th, 2008 12:50:51 PM

still boo, but . . . by tsfogg	May 30th, 2008 12:52:51 PM
Sledge Hammer, I could not have put it any better.
Is it just me... by BrooseTheScharuk	May 30th, 2008 12:53:06 PM
...or do the name actors in Kevin Smith movies always seem like they just didn't know how to say no to the poor guy? Fuck, his stuff is abysmal. Remember when you knew a couple of really funny people who would just effortlessly crack everyone up, but then there was that poor loser who always tried to get in on the laugh-making and mistook his own enthusiasm for a sense of humor? Well, those effortlessly funny guys are the likes of the Apatow crew, and Kevin Smith is the poor, unfunny loser. I have never seen a Kevin Smith movie where I didn't feel like the actors were slumming; doing the poor loser a favor. Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks both belong in better movies. Who knew that this would go DOWNhill from "I'm fucking Seth Rogen." Fucking talent-deficient wannabe. He would do better turning his spoken word tours into a standup career. Tee-hee...they talked about bums and dinkies...and poo poo... That's "shock humor", right?
Kevin Smith and Judd Apatow Graduate From by Dingbatty	May 30th, 2008 12:54:31 PM
Mental Eighth Grade Never gonna happen.
This Movie Should Be Titled... by Sean38	May 30th, 2008 12:59:46 PM
...Kevin Smith Tries To Make A Judd Apatow Movie.
Movie Trailer by fatnomore11	May 30th, 2008 01:06:14 PM
Here is the trailer for a feature film adaptation of popular television series Operacion Repo youtube.com/ECHOSWORLDDOTCOM
Crappy teaser is crappy by polyh3dron	May 30th, 2008 01:09:02 PM
Srsly.
Red State can't come soon enough by Magma Suit	May 30th, 2008 01:31:39 PM
I'm looking forward to this, but KS really needs to make this something other than an Apatow knock-off (and even HE's beginning to get tired with his endless army of Drillbit Taylors and Zohans).
What i've etrapolated from the above by dogstar69	May 30th, 2008 01:51:51 PM
"Fuck Kevin Smith, Fuck his Writing, One-trick pony, fuck Seth Rogen"... thats only a sampling of the people who have actually went over to the website of a guy they dispise, watch a teaser of a movie they ALREADY KNOW they're not gonna watch, Log into AICN and type in they're two bits worth of bile... Why? have you lonely people not got much to do, what is the bad mouthing going to achieve?... Fuck all, thats what... this film'll hit - not knocked Up sized numbers - but it will find an audience. Kevin Smith is a prime example of a filmmaker who wanted to make a movie and went forth and did it himself. He should be an insiration to people on this site as every hater seems to think they can do better, follow Kevins lead and lets see what you've got, put what money you can get into your own movie and give everyone a chance to see how easy it is. I know i'm inviting negative press. I know there will be people who say "i used to like him but his films are all the same" these will be the same people who cleaned out when he made a film completely different than what he'd done. When are we doing to get proper critisism on a feedback?. i lost it there in the end, but fuck it.
GARBAGE...... by DURANGO66	May 30th, 2008 01:56:09 PM
FUCK YOU FAT SMITH!
RE: GARBAGE...... by dogstar69	May 30th, 2008 02:15:51 PM
well done, Kevin Smith will now retire due to your perceptive critisisms
RE RE: GARBAGE...... by DURANGO66	May 30th, 2008 02:25:18 PM
DOGSTAR AS IN UR GAY CUZ YOU LIKE KEANU REEVES'S "ROCK" BAND, LMAO! STICK YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE 90's WILL YA OH KEVIN SMITH IS FAT AND TALENTLESS AND BITTER AS HELL, HE MARRIED THE FIRST PIECE OF ASS THAT SHOWED INTEREST IN HIM,OH BUT WAIT SHE HAD TO CUZ SHE WAS DOING A STORY ON HIM? WOW CLASSIC...
YES! I love the Smith Hate talkbacks! by slugbat	May 30th, 2008 02:29:27 PM
God I love it. Can't really stand the guy or his movies but I love his TBs. Especially since I know the insecure little fuck is reading the shit and getting all mad about it. The TB from back in the day when he mixed it up here and got pwned by a bunch of dudes firing off shit from their cubicles has to be one of the funniest TBs of all time. That said, the guy is great when riffing on Star Wars. The Empire conversation wtih him and Simon Pegg before RotS was simply gold.
Comparing KS to Apatow?!?!? by gregniz	May 30th, 2008 02:33:12 PM
If you idiots don't realize people should be comparing Apatow to Smith. Not the other way Around. Every time Apatow puts out a movie it shold be "Theres another Smith knock off." Who did it first assholes
uhggg to chatty... by JeanLuc Dickhard	May 30th, 2008 02:55:29 PM
people dont talk like that .... same problem, juno and dawson's creek had
Kevin Smith went WAY downhill by pleasebanme	May 30th, 2008 02:56:49 PM
He's made ONE really good film (Clerks), written a fantastic script that was turned into a shitty film (Chasing Amy), and made half a good film and half a piece of shit (Dogma). Since then every single film he's made has been downright atrocious. This one looks just as bad.
Dogstar by JimBobCooter	May 30th, 2008 03:22:28 PM
Uwe Boll finds his own funding, too. We're not hating on KS because he's indie and blue-collar and "one of us" who has a vision and finds a way to make his films. We're hating on the end result. Which, in this case, wasn't funny and could've been. I think the premise is amazing, if 5 years too late (considering amateur porn is its own subgenre now). I do respect him that he goes out and makes the movies he wants to make. But does that make this teaser more funny or original? HE's the one who released an unpolished teaser for our judgement. Why don't you blame him??
Gregniz... by Garbageman33	May 30th, 2008 03:22:52 PM
Perhaps you could point me to even an ounce of heart in one of Kevin Smith's movies. Just one moment that'd make my wife cry like Judd Apatow movies always manage to do.
Kevin Smith by Gwai Lo	May 30th, 2008 03:45:02 PM
continues his unfunny spiral into irrelevance. I like Seth Rogen but if that trailer is indicative of what the movie is like I'm not interested.
That trailer was a clear miss by exie	May 30th, 2008 03:46:49 PM
If that was supposed to get anyone excited to go see this movie, it failed miserably.
69th!!! by The Dum Guy	May 30th, 2008 03:49:35 PM
Just cause it won't load..
He didn't go downhill, so much as nowhere. by beastie	May 30th, 2008 03:55:18 PM
His films were good until we realized that that was all he had to offer. If Zack and Miri had come after Chasing Amy or Mallrats, we'd all think that it was brilliant.
Robert Rodriguez Is A Great Tech...But A Director No!!! by Media Messiah	May 30th, 2008 04:05:55 PM
Robert Rodriguez is someone I envy for his technical knowledge and bravery therein...but as a director and writer he sucks. The man is a great musician, camera man, and special effects wiz...I give him that, but as a story teller or director, he has yet to deliver a good film.
Wow by tiredpm	May 30th, 2008 04:16:26 PM
That was really dull. I didn't crack a single smile at that teaser and it just made me hate the characters in advance. Nice job. I now have no interest in this movie.
why that wasnt funny or shocking by bacci40	May 30th, 2008 04:31:37 PM
cuz this was already done, and done as cutting edge by robert downey and was called "rented lips"...and that movie is 20 years old, when the thought of making or being in porn was scandalous...today, 15 year old girls and boys are posting nasty pics of themselves on their myspace pages, and kids of all ages are watching shiste movies like 2 girls, 1 cup and finding it hilarious....smith, for all his bravado, is a fucking prude, who thinks that porn is still dirty...could be cuz his wife is such a skank and still wont give him access to the back door
Yeah by Gwai Lo	May 30th, 2008 04:31:56 PM
I think the whole thing with Kevin Smith is that after Clerks, everyone thought "if this guy can do this with nothing, imagine what he can do with more money!" while he interpreted the success of Clerks as "I am a genius, I have unlocked the formula to comedy gold." I was 10 when Clerks came out, probably 11 when I saw it on video. I thought it was hilarious. I also saw Mallrats at 11 and again thought it was hilarious. I was 13 when I saw Chasing Amy and thought it was hilarious, AND had really deep things to say about relationships. It was at this point in Kevin Smith's career that I think I outgrew his schtick. Once I got a bit older than 13 (I'm 24 now), got some life experience, had a few relationships, Chasing Amy just rang false. Mallrats and Clerks, the last times I watched them, felt dated and overwritten. They no longer appealed to my puerile pre-teen sense of humor. There is truly atrocious acting all over the place in all three films. The jokes felt like they were reaching too much for wit without ever really getting there (someone above compared Smith to Woody Allen but Allen has a hundred times the wit of Smith's best material), and using vulgarity as a crutch. I can appreciate vulgar humor, I love 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Superbad. Hell, I own H.O.T.S. on DVD. And I would respect Smith's first three films if his creative output had not soured so much afterwards. Now, Dogma is the wild card right before Kevin Smith went to total shit. I respect what he was trying to do, but I think his execution was way the fuck off. I think Dogma best illustrates the fact that Smith is NOT a competent director, and only really halfway there as a writer. Dogma feels like a first draft of something, and if anything got in the way of rewrites it was probably ego. But in the hands of a good director it could have been much more than it was. And the primary factor there is the performances. Sure, people like Matt Damon come away unscathed, but when your direction produces some of the worst performances in the careers of actors like Linda Fiorentino, Alan Rickman, Chris Rock... You're doing something wrong. No one, not even Kevin smith, claims him to be a good technical director. I personally don't think he is a good actor's director. So what is he then? Which brings us to Jay and Silent Bob, which again illustrates just how creatively bankrupt he had gotten. These two characters were beginning to feel like another crutch, rather than a staple. I mean, how many times can we hear that one note? And Smith's feelings were clearly hurt at this point, because he lashed out at internet critics. Probably people writing reasoned critiques of his work like I am doing right now. I didn't even bother to see Jersey Girl (I wouldn't have seen it regardless of whether it was a Kevin Smith movie or not) and Clerks II was almost embarassing to watch in how deeply it revealed a complete man child at work with no new ideas, no unmined talent, and no sense of how to make the same old crude jokes work like they used to. This Zack and Miri thing looks like a desperate attempt to jump on the bandwagon of what is funny right now, rather than coming up with anything fresh. I wouldn't pick on the guy if he wasn't such a shameless self promoter, but he seems to think he is still the wunderkind the general public thought he was after he made Clerks. I've long since realized that the emperor is not wearing any clothes.
This is less funny than shia's monkey helpers by g-ride9000	May 30th, 2008 04:35:39 PM
he said ass huhuhuhuhuhu
Just doesn't do anything for me. by mrfan	May 30th, 2008 04:48:51 PM
Not a Smith hater. I just don't feel excited about this movie. Will probably wait till it shows up on HBO or something. Really wish that Smith would take a chance on something else besides the same formula. How about a sci-fi movie or even a drama. How about making a movie that he doesn't write. He seems to be really talented. I think he could pull it off.
Rogen's schtick is old, too. by Behemoth	May 30th, 2008 04:59:06 PM

looks atrocious by awepittance	May 30th, 2008 05:04:01 PM
possibly worse than clerks 2
Zack and Wiki the Movie? Great! by Roderich	May 30th, 2008 05:24:27 PM
I loved the Wii-game! But i did not see the flying golden monkey-bell or any of the pirates in this teaser. So much about being faithful to the original!!!
"Please don't improvise" by fastcars	May 30th, 2008 06:07:20 PM
Couldn't have said it better myself.
I may be the only one by Series7	May 30th, 2008 06:17:54 PM
Here who likes Smiths films. I don't think you can hate on Smith while crap like Baby Mama/Bringing Down the House/Cheaper/Pink.... Pretty much anything with Steve Martin still gets made. And usually make bank and probably cost four times as much to make as a Smith film. BUT I do dis like Seth Rogen, i used to really like him until Knocked Up. Lets face it, he can't pull off the Adam Sandler, piece of shit lazy guy who gets the hot girl in the end... well because he Sandler it seems like he is somewhat of a nice guy a girl would like. Seth Rogen is too much of a nerd/a-hole. Plus I thought Seth Rogen was smarter then that to think he can pull off the Schmo who gets the lady in the end. That and I just don't buy Rogen's turn in Knocked Up, it was just WAAAYYY too forced and felt just like a guy giving up and being pussy whiped. Kind of sad when your out acted by Sandler, but Seth should stick to buddy comedies, or the a-hole friend. All in all I guess I would just rather see a comedy about some fat funny nerd who gets a lot of money and then learns to deal with gold diggers.
Awesome by photoboy	May 30th, 2008 06:18:48 PM
I'm really looking forward to this one, looks like it could be pretty funny. And Elizabeth Banks is always great.
I swear to Christ by Quin the Eskimo	May 30th, 2008 06:53:03 PM
you peeps would go Pontius Pilot on your own mom's. Mostly I'm just jealous of the dude.
Can't critisize the writing by Quin the Eskimo	May 30th, 2008 07:01:11 PM
as this obviously ad-libbed.
Damn You Michael Bay by MCMLXXVI	May 30th, 2008 07:23:48 PM
Damn You Michael Bay
SO BAD IT MADE ME WANT TO DIE!!!! by THT3000	May 30th, 2008 07:45:04 PM
Nah, not really. I just wanted to see what it felt like to be aintitcool-caliber bitter.
I wonder by bobjustbob	May 30th, 2008 07:56:19 PM
If there will be a Quiaja board?
Obvious Smith is obvious by BrowncoatJedi	May 30th, 2008 08:06:30 PM
I guess Smith thinks practice makes perfect when it comes to repeating the same tired dick and poop jokes for every film.
SNL skit stretched to a Feature by Rubiks Doob	May 30th, 2008 08:09:45 PM
Seriously that looks like a 3 minute short film stretched out. I predict pain and not from the belly laughs....
It seems pretty clear to me... by epitone	May 30th, 2008 08:59:20 PM
...that Seth Rogen is the best gift Kevin Smith could ever ask for, since the shit he makes up offhand is likely to be funnier than anything Smith can write on purpose. That may not have been the case in 1995, but it's sure as hell the case in 2008.
BrowncoatJedi by EvilGeek1	May 30th, 2008 09:03:35 PM
It's no worse than any other generic crap that comes from America these days.
I love Kevin Smith's movies, but.. by EARTH	May 30th, 2008 09:03:50 PM
....is it me or has he just become a bit too cutesy and smug (this teaser included) for his own dam good on the last couple of flicks? His movies used to feel anarchic..now they just feel like an attempt from a rich 40 something guy to be something they're not.
weed and fart jokes? by imascooby1985	May 30th, 2008 09:21:20 PM
I will admit my memory is awful and I may get my ass handed to me for this question, but can anyone name one weed or fart joke in clerks 2 or Jersey Girl? Yes Clerks 2 had jay and silent bob dealing outside the restaurant for one scene, but not a single joke was made about weed. The humor came from the two being clean and turning to religion. Not weed. But anyone who has a problem with watching a film with weed jokes probably shouldnt be watching a film where two of the main characters are drug dealers. You dont like it, dont watch his films.
i still love clerks, chasing amy, mallrats, clerks 2 and dogma by bacci40	May 30th, 2008 10:36:48 PM
but this really looks like shit...im serious....smith should just stay on the lecture circuit and keep telling his story about how he almost totally fucked the superman franchise
Wow that sucked. by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz	May 30th, 2008 10:39:53 PM
I usually like Kevin Smith. But that trailer was terrible. Or whatever they want to call it. Just wasn't funny at all.
I thought..... by RainXTN	May 30th, 2008 11:22:08 PM
that it looked kind of funny
bizzare by BurgerKing	May 31st, 2008 12:45:49 AM
Was like an outtake reel or something. It wasn't funny, but I could see it being funny on paper.
This is a big movie for Kevin by justanothermoviefan	May 31st, 2008 02:07:55 AM
If I'm not mistaken, the budget for this film is around $40 million. Kevin's films have never done well in the theaters, but they always seem to clean up on DVD. But this film needs to do well in the theaters. Good luck Kevin. I'll see it in the theater for sure.
It's cool to hate Kevin Smith now? by MattmanReturns	May 31st, 2008 03:36:23 AM
Wow, I must have missed the memo on that one.
I fucking hate you people. by MattmanReturns	May 31st, 2008 03:36:45 AM
I really do. Fuck you all.
Especially Gotham Knight. by MattmanReturns	May 31st, 2008 03:37:44 AM

that.....wasnt.....very.....good ...... by themagus	May 31st, 2008 05:41:47 AM

I'm actually looking forward to another Kevin Smith film. by rbatty024	May 31st, 2008 07:06:29 AM
Is he a great director? No, not by a long shot. But when he's on his game he can write some clever dialogue. I enjoyed the live action cartoon vibe of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. I think Chasing Amy has a unique perspective and it was the kind of film no one was really making in the mainstream at that time. I think Clerk and Dogma are his best, though. The man makes comedies, and will probably only make comedies for most of his career. They're better than most of the shitty comedies out there so I'm a fan. He's no Igmar Bergman but that's all right with me.
Kevin Smith... by maxjohnson1971	May 31st, 2008 09:14:56 AM
is living on past glory. He should team up with M. Night and figure something out, and quick.
I am Dr. Remulak by maxjohnson1971	May 31st, 2008 09:15:19 AM
I am Dr. Remulak
Do the people that make Meet the Spartans by INWOsuxRED	May 31st, 2008 10:26:55 AM
put out lecture videos about how great they are?
If you're wondering about the music by SinfulAngel	May 31st, 2008 11:01:05 AM
The music is from Behind the Green Door (1972). It's played during the "climatic" scene. But the music in the trailer is not the full version.
I don't hate Kevin Smith by krushjudgement	May 31st, 2008 11:15:00 AM
But I will never see this movie.
living on past glory... by imascooby1985	May 31st, 2008 12:18:24 PM
If it was true that Kevin Smith was living on past glory, then how do you explain the fact that his last film Clerks 2 was the highest reviewed film of his career. Doesnt that indicate that he is getting better with time and not just using fanboy love for his old stuff propel his work now? And dont bitch about the fact that he just went back to the well because it was a sequel. The fact is he risked pissing off his entire fanbase with making a sequel to Clerks and only did it because he had a good story to tell and the box office, critical acclaim, and fan reaction proves he was right to do so. But honestly, how can you guys have so much hate for the guy when most comedies coming out today are shit like meet the spartans, drillbit taylor, Harold and kumar 2, or what happened in vegas? If you would honestly rather watch one of those films than Zach and Miri, then good for you. Go watch those films and post on those talkbacks.
Video Game Movies suck! by Johnno	May 31st, 2008 01:20:16 PM
Yeah I'm going to watch the hollow story of Zack and Wiki on the big screen instead of waggling my Wiimote and playing it myself... And so the geniuses decide to make it abotu them doing a porno? Smart move there! I'm surprised Capcom allowed for this shit. Fuck this film and spend your time watching the new Resident Evil V trailer instead!
I'll make up my mind when I see the film by Roninmerc	May 31st, 2008 01:39:42 PM
Some jokes in the teaser worked, some didn't. Kevin Smith movies usually make me laugh and this one will probably be no exception.
was that supposed to be funny? by WhoDis	May 31st, 2008 02:11:14 PM
maybe I'm just jaded because I hear stuff like that from friends or on The Howard Stern Show.
Clerks 2 had a good story to tell??? by CarmillaVonDoom	May 31st, 2008 02:19:38 PM
Whaaaaat? It was the most unnecessary sequel of ALL TIME.
The clerks CARTOON is the best Smith has ever done by CarmillaVonDoom	May 31st, 2008 02:20:12 PM
I'm surprised no one has mentioned that yet.
cartoon by imascooby1985	May 31st, 2008 02:25:24 PM
The cartoon was great. But not his best work. Smiths stuff just doesnt do well under censorship.
Agreed on the CLERKS cartoon. by SnapT	May 31st, 2008 03:24:34 PM
Much funnier/better than all the movies he's made.
really, what the hell is going on by troutpencil	May 31st, 2008 03:42:58 PM
Why are people excited about this movie? Two things bother me beyond the unfunniness in this clip: A) Porn stars shave their genitals to make them appear larger on camera and to make it less irritating for women when they perform fellatio B) You can tell when someone bleaches their asshole, because it is not brown. If you're looking at them nude you can see this. You don't shave your balls or bleach your butthole just for fun. It's not "giggle giggle" what they do in porn so you should do it hehehe and it's so dirty instant laughs if we mention it in a movie, both are practical, and treating them in this manner is fucking stupid. But anyway, beyond the porn ignorance this looks like shit. How is that "I'm Fucking Seth Rogen" video any different than what they do in Meet the Spartans and Epic Movie? Take something popular and do it with different people. Amazing.
Simply Crude! by FILMFUNK	May 31st, 2008 04:14:37 PM
That's not funny just 2 grown folks saying Poo, Dick, Pussy, Balls, Flacid, ass etc Hope that wasn't indicative of Smiths current writing abilities!?
Smith made a trailer like this given he knew you'd all love it by Avon	May 31st, 2008 05:23:29 PM
I'm pretty sure...
Stick with Jay and Silent Bob movies by I Dunno	May 31st, 2008 09:16:56 PM
Really.
WHHAAAAAAAA by BrightEyes	May 31st, 2008 10:22:29 PM
KEVIN SMITH IS A FAT FUCKING HACK WHO RIPS OFF JUDD APATOW, HE ONLY HAS ONE GOOD MOVIE WHICH IS CLERKS THE REST ARE SHIT. FUCK HIM , I'M A WAY BETTER FILMMAKER THAN THAT HACK. WWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA AAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!
bob and jah arent in it. by imascooby1985	May 31st, 2008 10:39:12 PM
man, gotham is in for one hell of a disappointment.
there goes the box office... by imascooby1985	May 31st, 2008 11:41:47 PM
Yeah its possible. Jersey Girl sucked it up at the box office and had a lack of jay and silent bob. This film could end up doing just as poorly in theaters. But does that really matter? As long as it is entertaining, I think it got the job done. And it isnt like this film failing financially will end Smiths career. So far only one of his films (Jersey Girl) has failed to recoup its entire budget. His films are never blockbusters, but they always make the execs money.
I didn't laugh by angrykirby.tk	Jun 1st, 2008 12:27:32 AM
that's all I judge a comedy by, is if it makes me laugh, this didn't
Smith dropped the ball a long time ago by Toby___Wong	Jun 1st, 2008 10:02:14 AM
Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy and Dogma were his best movies. The rest is utter dogshit. I think Smith has some talent, but he should stop with those dick and fart jokes and do something without dick and fart jokes. I am convinced he can do it. At this moment Smith deserves all the crap he gets.
Two things by Neosamurai85	Jun 1st, 2008 10:14:59 AM
To the haters saying grow up... well, he did TRY to. Maybe if everyone did go on and on and on about how much Jersey Girl sucked like Gigli giving gutter blow jobs for crack, maybe he would of considered continuing to try. I mean hell, I didn't think the film was THAT bad. Actually pretty good in many parts, namely Carlin's role. But yeah, he did try, and instead of fans going, "meh, needs work, but your on the right track" raped him like the clown in Vulgar. So boys and girls, it's Tijuana donkey fucking from here on out. As for the few people in his ring... Clerks 2 was crap. Almost good, but like many of his films it was one draft (or two) shy of great. And no, you cannot hide its mediocreness behind the fact most comedies these days suck. The teen sex comedy wave is over. Nobody seriously watches those pathetic T&A soft spank American Pie/National Lampoons spin offs. No, that Seth is in this is a glaring sign of the real problem of Zack and Miri... Comedy is pretty fucking good right now. It's up against Knocked Up, Superbad, and... least we forget, JUNO. So yeah, comedy has always had more misses than hits. For every decent to great 80s comedy, there were about 20 terrible ones! 90s didn't fare much better. So yeah, pulling out shit like Harold and Kumar 2 (which in fairness I never saw) is like looking for shit to step in. There are movies out right now that took Kevin's early style of humor and have let it mature... grow up, and the problem is that he hasn't grown with them... other than Jersy Girl which everyone seemed to hate so much. So yeah... who's got money on there being a Two Girls, One Cup reference? Peace.
So yeah... by Neosamurai85	Jun 1st, 2008 10:20:09 AM
sorry for saying So yeah so much. Sick in bed and not bothering to proof read.
I didn't think my opinion of Kevin Smith could get any lower, un by hatespeech	Jun 1st, 2008 10:23:35 AM
What utter garbage, juvenile to say the least. Intelligent humor my ass. What a waste of skin.
neosamurai by imascooby1985	Jun 1st, 2008 11:31:13 AM
You have a point, but you also need to realize that the good comedies you just alisted ALL came out last year. And those were also the only 4 good comedies of that entire year. I merely was listing the most recent comedies that came to mind, and they all happened to be awful. The fact is, it is impossible to name a good comedy that has come out this year, so yeah, my point still stands that most of the comedy today is shit. And it is pretty pointless to say that Clerks 2 sucked when the majority of critics loved it, it was a box office success, and it got an 8 minute standing ovation at the Cannes Film Festival. Quality of movies is just a matter of opinion, but dont come here waving your opinion around as fact when it goes against the majorities.
Neosamurai wins on this talkback by WhoDis	Jun 1st, 2008 12:05:28 PM
locking thread....
imascooby1985 by WhoDis	Jun 1st, 2008 12:06:44 PM
the new Indy film also got a standing ovation at CANNES. Methinks both movies being applauded had more to do with revisiting beloved characters than it did with the quality of the films.
Smith: I know him when I see him. by Sithtastic	Jun 1st, 2008 12:11:32 PM
It's been yet another round of "dogpile on Kevin Smith" around here, but I'm sorry, I just can't hate the guy. Whereas he's been inconsistent to say the least, I enjoy his brand of humor and if he wants to sign Seth Rogen on to that, guess what? Fine! Rogen's association with Aptow is bound to have some inevitable comparisons to both the writing and pace of Smith's work and true those comparisons are valid enough, but not enough to diminish my appreciation of his work. Kevin Smith I tend to think earns arguably some of the most undeserved passive aggressive ire I have ever seen on these boards and it ironically comes from what should be his core demographic.
What? by imascooby1985	Jun 1st, 2008 12:59:18 PM
"Remember when Kevin Smith made a half way decent film? Remember his fantastic cameo in Die Hard 4? Remember when he was the darling of the geek set?" Remember when none of us apologists said any of those things? Die Hard 4 was awful, and Smith didnt even come close to saving it. I dont remember when he was the darling of the geek set because frankly, I was too young to enjoy his movies back then and only got into his work after Dogma came out. And as far as referencing the last time he made a halfway decent film, yeah I will admit to doing that. I did it when i referenced Clerks 2, his highest reviewed film of his career, and also his most recent.
and also by imascooby1985	Jun 1st, 2008 01:02:49 PM
I am far from a Smith apologist. Mallrats is one of my least favorite films of all time. I honestly didnt laugh once when I saw it. So yeah, I can admit the guy aint perfect. Frankly his direction is mediocre at best. He works great with actors but his films look like crap. But the fact is that most of his films are still entertaining and funny and thats all that should matter. And people who bitch about them only being dick and fart jokes need to watch them again.
Kevin Smith Comin a Knockin by BourneToRun	Jun 1st, 2008 01:06:34 PM
Smith should stick to writing and ditch Directing, Plus the sooner he gets out of his comfort zone the better he needs to challenge himself, Red State could be a good start.
so... by imascooby1985	Jun 1st, 2008 01:51:11 PM
so the fact that Smith has changed the face of modern cinema makes him worthy of all of this ire? How many directors working today have changed the movie landscape?
Re: imascooby1985 by Neosamurai85	Jun 1st, 2008 02:45:00 PM
"And it is pretty pointless to say that Clerks 2 sucked when the majority of critics loved it, it was a box office success, and it got an 8 minute standing ovation at the Cannes Film Festival." Crash won best picture; Cannes gave Wild at Heart the PALME D'OR (yes, I'm a HUGE Lynch fan and yes I like Wild at Heart... but come on); Roger Ebert LIKED TOMB RAIDER. There is a point where you can't just hide behind reviews. Sure, people seemed to like it. I like TOUGH GUNS, but that doesn't mean its a good movie. My point is, Clerk had smart writing that happened to be dirty. The whole Have You Tried to Suck Your Own Dick bit is solid comedy writing. The Giant Clit bit just didn't work well. Most of the jokes didn't even make me smirk. They were dirty, but not clever. (The Silence of the Lambs bit was pretty good though.) And Kevin is still terribly awkward with drama. Dawson deserves a lot of the credit for what did work I think. Over all the film was crappy. I didn't say it sucked, I said it was crap. "Quality of movies is just a matter of opinion, but dont come here waving your opinion around as fact when it goes against the majorities." Says the man who states - as you say - "as fact" that "it is impossible to name a good comedy that has come out this year." Really? Seen them all have you? And while you may have a point there about majority opinion = good (boy that bubble gum pop wave was a hoot!) it would seem that HERE, the majority IS less then in love with Clerks 2. I don't like to speak for others, but that's just what I'm feeling from the board so far. Anyway, wasn't intending to come off as some dealer of "facts", I was more interested in the recent movies suck so Bad movies from Smith = GOOD claim. Returning to that, one years strikes me as not very long ago to still hold those movies (and others) to standard, if other comedies are or look like they are going to be crap, then to hell with them too! Maybe I've been guilty of the same, but this whole "it looks like it sucks less than the others" argument has got to go. In the words of the great Jay Sherman, "IF THE MOVIE STINKS, JUST DON'T GO."
HORRIBLE - BAD, BAD, BAD. by noncents	Jun 1st, 2008 02:45:56 PM
I couldn't even watch that, it was so boring.
neosamurai by imascooby1985	Jun 1st, 2008 03:12:35 PM
You prove a good point and actually have a valid argument. The only point I was trying to make is that people are coming on here saying he is living on past glories when the majority of critics and the majority of audiences think his last film was his best. But I still dont regret saying that it is impossible to name a good comedy that has come out this year, and the fact that no one has tried to prove me wrong o that point yet kinda shows that I am right. And no I have not seen every comedy that came out this year. I am absing a lot of that on other peoples opinions, reviews, trailers, etc. I dont need to see Meet The Spartans to know it was crap.
seth green by imascooby1985	Jun 1st, 2008 05:31:15 PM
isnt he a little old to be playing a high school geek? Didnt he graduate from Sunnydale High like 8 years ago?
could be good by imascooby1985	Jun 1st, 2008 06:15:11 PM
Think it might work great if it was part of a triple feature for grindhouse 3. We all know that Smith, Rodriguez, and Tarantino are all friends anyways. Why not throw him in the group?
Kevin Smith is still making movies?!? by Stalkeye	Jun 1st, 2008 07:37:49 PM
This just goes to show that there is no God. Ok so I exagerrated, but after dogma and the shitfest that was jersey girl and clerks 2,Biscuit boy should go back to film school or just stick to running his comic shop.Fucking Rob Zombie laughs at Smith who only got recognition due to the Star Wars vs Empire Strikes Back debate. Should he ever win an oscar, which will never happen, he should think that arrogant midget spike lee for getting the idea of financing his film projects via maxed out credit cards. sorry to offend any Smith fans but, hey if you can trash Lee,Bay,Tarantino,WS Anderson then Kev should not be spared the wraith of the talkbackers as well.
ummm.... by imascooby1985	Jun 1st, 2008 08:14:47 PM
who was trashing Spike lee? And nobody is safe from TBer bashing. All of those directors listed (including Smith) have made films worthy of bashing.
I'm really surprised at the reactions to this by Gozu	Jun 1st, 2008 08:54:03 PM
I mean, it wasn't groundbreaking, but it was funny.
Kevin Hasn't Lost It! by malpaso	Jun 1st, 2008 10:11:37 PM
"It' being the ability to get terrible performances out of good actors and make funny people amazingly unfunny. Even raiding the Apatow stable cannot help him. So sophomoric, it is to hurl.
Wow, that was gayer than gay by hatespeech	Jun 2nd, 2008 11:21:28 AM
supergay even. It needed more zombie titties and perhaps a dickfart brazillian fart porn joke.
Smith by kinksy	Jun 2nd, 2008 04:05:33 PM
Is overrated. Not terrible, but his writing is really not that magnificent when you take away all of the dirty shit. Chasing Amy was my favorite film of his. All of his movies have funny parts but they're just not great classic films. And I'm not a hater--I'll watch his work. On cable, anyway.
Be A Hybreeder by Brock	Jun 2nd, 2008 04:17:21 PM
Come breed with hot women from around the world and your favorite hot celebrities and LURAO @ www.TheHumanHybrid.com
Speaking as a pornstar myself... by KurtLockwood	Jun 2nd, 2008 05:42:16 PM
I hate comedies based on porn (Orgasmo) with Boogie Nights as the noteable exception because they NEVER get it right. It's all just b.s. versions of what the general public THINKS happens on a porn set. The reality is often far funnier. I do love Kevin Smith's work tho, so I'll keep my fingers crossed...
I like the Geeks vs Zombies angle by slugbat	Jun 2nd, 2008 09:39:57 PM
Kind of like a whole movie in the same vein as the Frog Boys. But no girls -- chicks ruin everything. Just have 4 nerds figuring out how to kick zombie ass. "How much should we charge them for this?"
I'm a Sad Panda... by spix14	Jun 3rd, 2008 10:46:03 AM
I really love Kevin Smith. Truly. But the older I get, the more I realize that, sad as it may be, I'm outgrowing his shit. Sadder yet is the fact that the guy is a genuinely intelligent and witty guy. And yet he sticks to the same tired formula. Personally, I want to see Red State. I pray that for once Kev will actually pour some of his intellect into a movie, and impress the hell out of everyone. I'm sure I'll go see Zack and Mirri out of loyalty, if nothing else, but I'm not expecting to be blown away. I haven't really been that impressed with a Kevin Smith movie since Dogma. JASBSB was just a 90 minute in joke-funny the first time, but not much good for repeat viewings. Jersey Girl was a nice try, but the horrible acting of the kid in it kinda threw it off for me. Clerks 2...some funny moments, but also nothing new, and good GOD, Kevin, your wife cannot act for shit, quit putting her in your damn movies. Her acting literally makes me WINCE. Please. Anyway, yea, I'm done. I've got my fingers crossed for Red State or I think I may be departing the KS bandwagon.
Oh yea... by spix14	Jun 3rd, 2008 10:52:01 AM
And quit saying that Kevin Smith is ripping off this Apatow fucker. Any Kevin Smith fan worth their salt that watched Superbad could tell that shit was HEAVILY influenced by Kevin's work. The banter had the same feel to it, same kind of jokes, everything. Even my husband caught onto it and he is far from a film critic. We actually exchanged a look right in the middle of that movie and said at precisely the same time, "Doesn't this remind you of Kevin Smith?" So shut it, fuckers. He's the ripee, not the ripper.

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