Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news.

Dwight Schrute vs. Decepticons?

What? by SUPERJIM	May 28th, 2008 03:11:39 AM
Dwight will not fit in this!
quint you jammy git :-) by billyhitchcock	May 28th, 2008 03:14:45 AM
how'd you get the sweetest job in the world?
Rare Sequels... by Whitemouse	May 28th, 2008 03:15:25 AM
Terminator 2, X-Men 2, Spiderman 2, Godfather Part II, Star Trek II : The Wrath Of Khan, Batman Returns, Superman II, Blade 2, The Empire Strikes Back...anyone got anymore?
What the hell with "Transformers" hate? by kuldan	May 28th, 2008 03:16:26 AM
There were some pretty horrible movies to come out last year and this year, so why all the hate towards "Transformers?" Could you have asked for a better adaptation of a CARTOON? It was funny and entertaining. Don't give me the "flames on Optimus" as the source of outrage. That's just jackassed.
Honestly... by i_am_PETER_VENKMAN	May 28th, 2008 03:16:47 AM
Who the hell cares who's in it. Just let the robots battle it out. For two hours straight. And Bay, how about a couple goddamn wide shots this time so we're able to follow the action.
How about these sequels... by Psyclops	May 28th, 2008 03:18:27 AM
Aliens, The Bourne Supremacy, The Road Warrior, Evil Dead II.
"rare sequel that outdoes the original" by krack	May 28th, 2008 03:18:29 AM
It'd be hard to be worse.
Better seconds... by kuldan	May 28th, 2008 03:19:03 AM
"Aliens" improved on the source material, as the second Next Generation film, "First Contact" was much better than "Generations." The new "Incredible Hulk" will be better than "Hulk" for sure, and "Rambo: First Blood, Part II" was a more entertaining film than "First Blood." I might be in the minority in thinking that "Superman II" wasn't very good, especially compared to the first. But, that's just me.
Transformers... by Whitemouse	May 28th, 2008 03:19:41 AM
Probably the best Toy Line - Cartoon - Film franchises in existence, most things go the other way round :p
Sequels... by kuldan	May 28th, 2008 03:20:55 AM
"Passion of the Christ 2: Revenge of the Christ" was pretty good, as well. More action, less mushy "bitch-talk."
I knew some of you... by Whitemouse	May 28th, 2008 03:22:14 AM
Would say Aliens...nah I'm a sucker for Ridley Scott's horror story than James Cameron's War movie...not that Aliens is bad, it's really good...but it's not as good as Alien. First Blood Part II...I'll give you that....Superman II was faster and had decent villains in it compared to the original, and it's much more entertaining.
Evil Dead II by Whitemouse	May 28th, 2008 03:23:13 AM
Shouldn't count as a sequel...ever...it's the same film with better effects and dialogue
Knows action? by hallmitchell	May 28th, 2008 03:23:32 AM
He knows hot to cut it so tight on editing it should have warnings for epilectics. The action in Transformers sucked. Quick edits, no one knew who was winning or what was going on.
'The Beef' MADE that dreadful movie. by MaxTheSilent	May 28th, 2008 03:24:51 AM
As utterly appalling as TRANSFORMERS was LaBeouf grounded it, committed to it and made that garbage work.
Quint.... Bay does NOT know action. by Kirbymanly	May 28th, 2008 03:25:03 AM
He knows STYLE. If he knew action I'd have clear knowledge of what exactly happened, who was fighting against who, who was winning, etc. in the last half hour of his version of Transformers. The man is 100% style and 0% clarity.
And I'll Give You by Whitemouse	May 28th, 2008 03:25:13 AM
The Bourne Supremecy and Road Warrior...though it's been a long time since I watched the Mad Max series...must hunt that out on DVD. Passion of the Christ 2: Revenge of the Christ...no comment...But Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season should get a mention "Apple Sauce, Bitch"
The first flick by Varakor	May 28th, 2008 03:32:25 AM
was better than most expected. I think Bay can really knock it out the park with the second, though I hope he doesn't flood us with bots. Then again robots kickin ass and blowin shit up? I'm there!!
Will you stop saying that Bay "knows action"! by IndustryKiller!	May 28th, 2008 03:35:47 AM
He knows how to spend money that's for god damn sure. But his set pieces are a hogdgepodge of quick cut editing and shaky cam. It's take a lot more skill as a director to actually choreograph it deliberately and shoot it in wides to actually let the audience see what is going on. Not only that but he throws frustrating jingoistic bullshit in inexplicably and arbitrary slow mo's. For instance the slow mo shot of the woman screaming in Transformers is unintentionally hilarious and a terrible shot amidst the action to boost.
"What the hell with "Transformers" hate?" by youhatestarwars	May 28th, 2008 03:37:12 AM
If being satisfied with a lightweight movie adaptation of a franchise because it once encompassed a lightweight cartoon works for you, then great. But Transformers is more than that. I used to read the comics, which was initially written by the writers of the brilliant toy character blurbs, and the comics utilised and expanded on this, going where the show would not, making the Transformers flawed and likeable, and coming up with many classic pieces of drama. Ditto the animated movie, which, while no doubt honouring the tv show feel and characters, was pretty damned inventive and fun. It even has Greek myth and biblical reference for christ sake. That's what Transformers means to me. The show, while fun, was terrible. Bay's movie, being rendered incomprehensibly ugly, stupid and useless by Bay's 'techinque', wasn't even fun. There should never be excuses for a bad movie.
the title T2... by mattforce7	May 28th, 2008 03:37:46 AM
...will have a whole new meaning :D
And the countdown until someone says..... by IndustryKiller!	May 28th, 2008 03:38:36 AM
"Shut up H8ORZ! It's based on a stupid cartoon anyways, it had giant robots blowing stuff up and that's all that matters! BLARGH!!" begins right.....now. Bonus points if they are responding to a reasonable substantive argument in the opposition.
BAY IS A HACK..ITS A FACT!! by Redfive!	May 28th, 2008 03:44:47 AM
He needs to go back to doing Playboy shoots and snorting coke off his Porsche Spider,not pretending to be one of the best film makers out there...becuase the reality is that guys a DIMESTORE JAMES CAMERON.
Superior sequels by youhatestarwars	May 28th, 2008 03:44:59 AM
Toy Story 2, A better tomorrow 2, Star Trek II, The Godfather Part II, Aliens, Terminator 2, Scream 2, The Empire Strikes Back, Superman II, Aliens, Clerks 2,
I also agree that by youhatestarwars	May 28th, 2008 03:46:54 AM
"The Beef" was the best thing in Transformers.
Whatever. by Clarence Bodiker	May 28th, 2008 03:55:48 AM
The movie was not good and the second won't be either. Are fuck cameo roles expected to save this terrible franchise in bloom? Michael Bay blows and always has. His movies are emptiness couched in effects. Bay knows action? Erroneous. Bay has an eye for visual effects, yet often falls short of that special something that would have made an effect perfect. Add to that his amazing ability to make dialogue sound cliched and crap and you have a recipe for disaster every time.
Moby Dick 2 by Napoleon Park	May 28th, 2008 04:06:13 AM

You Bunch of sad gimps by gmc2k2	May 28th, 2008 04:07:23 AM
some of you flame everything just because you jump on the band wagon to be different, transformers was exactly like the cartoon, fun full of action and characters that were saturday morning.....what else were you expecting?sthe beef to become a method actor and during pre prodcution he got to work for 6 months with advanced robotics to know ho they feel and think.....you flamers need a reality check this film aint supposed to be anything more than a fun film with robots kicking ass....the beef held his own in that sh*t stop flaming.
i didnt hate the movie...i hate the whole fucking concept by bacci40	May 28th, 2008 04:07:44 AM
you fucking people are aware, arent you, that the whole transformers, autobots and whatever other shit they fed you as kids, were just half hour commercials....right??? jay ward pisses on all of you
joeelliott - HAHAHAHA by messi	May 28th, 2008 04:10:31 AM
That's fucking hilarious.
Superman II by youhatestarwars	May 28th, 2008 04:11:17 AM
The Lester movie wasn't as well made as Donner's first movie, but it was more dramatic, exciting and poignant.
Superman 2 is an atrocious movie by messi	May 28th, 2008 04:12:13 AM
the movie sucked. Awful. cheesy. terrible. the second half of superman 1 which wasn't good, expanded and made worse.
godfather 2, empire strikes back, wrath of khan by bacci40	May 28th, 2008 04:13:26 AM
need i fuckin say more?? this week we said goodbye to a giant of a director...but when bay and ratner kick off, fuck it, im gonna party...i just hope they go before me...i wanna dance on their fucking graves....me and uwe boll
youhatestarwars by jackalcack	May 28th, 2008 04:16:15 AM
I agree with you on all but Clerks 2, Terminator 2 and Scream 2, where I thought the originals were better. I'd also like to add X Men 2 and Spiderman 2 into the mix. Fingers crossed we'll be saying the same thing about The Dark Knight in a few months time.
superman sucked balls by bacci40	May 28th, 2008 04:19:30 AM
look...i was a teen when the movie came out...so i shoulda been the target audience...but when they made luthor a wig wearing wierdo with a real estate fetish, i almost puked...and forget supes 2....but you guys have your fun...i hated those movies
The little decepticon will hide as a stapler by the podosphere	May 28th, 2008 04:38:50 AM
in Professor Schrute's Jell-O mold.
"Bay knows action" by CuervoJones	May 28th, 2008 04:52:54 AM
But he never met it. The guy can´t make a good action sequence.
Hmmm Maybe we'll have a Transformer evacuate by FuryofthefilmFan	May 28th, 2008 04:57:42 AM
as in To excrete or discharge waste like a bowel movement. I mean we had the clever Bay have a transformer PEE defocation would definitely be bigger and badder. also, let's not only have 1 fat man eat lots of donuts lets have 3 and have em all wear spandex but give one of them a thong for a quick laugh.
More Sequels by Daniel_Ackbar	May 28th, 2008 05:13:31 AM
Christmas Vacation, Bad Boys 2, Army of Darkness (maybe?), The Silence of the Lambs (Technically it is a sequel, though I think Manhunter is better), The Bourne Ultimatum, Attack of the Clones (still shit but better than the previous), Once upon a Time in China 2, The Barbarian Invasions,
Rubbish by Elemeno Pee	May 28th, 2008 05:27:44 AM
I don't know how people were able to sit through the first one. It was incredibly boring, especially during the action sequence at the end. I just.... didn't care. The little kid in front of my row wasn't into it either, so he kept saying hi.
"Bay knows action" by ballyhoo	May 28th, 2008 05:39:55 AM
No, he fucking doesn't!
BBC Decepticons or NBC Decepticons? by LaserPants	May 28th, 2008 05:41:52 AM
If the former, hooray, if that latter, yeah, the show is kinda funny in a dumbed down way.
Christmas Vacation! Good call Ackbar by IndustryKiller!	May 28th, 2008 05:48:04 AM
Ahhhh memories
Fuck the jerky camera work too! by Judge Briggs	May 28th, 2008 05:48:56 AM
I wanted to like this movie... but Megan Fox as some former convict and the shitty ass scenes with the FBI agents holding Fox.... remember how that one dude was saying how hot it was that she was a convict? Ugh, so campy... that and the jerky camera work! ZOOM OUT, ZOOM OUT BAY!
The first movie.. by TinSpider	May 28th, 2008 05:53:46 AM
...had it's few moments of greatness, but was mostly dog shit. I've read Transformers comics with more depth. And fuck off with the 'it's based on a cartoon' argument. Anybody coming out with that shit needs to do their research on the things they are knocking so they know what the fuck they are on about. Cunts.
T1 Was Big, Dumb, Loud, With Some Cool Set-Pieces by LaserPants	May 28th, 2008 05:58:51 AM
I liked it for what it was, but its a pretty crap movie. Cool efx, though, and most of the big action set-pieces scenes were decent. Could have done without the half hour long yard gag and sector 7, though.
Unwatchable. by Clarence Bodiker	May 28th, 2008 06:05:10 AM
Don't care about what the source material was, because at the end of the day you have to attract viewers. Are you spending that much money to attract a small troop of geeks? I know it did well, but that is the hype machine. Nobody else really cares. So, this movie was essentially ID4 with robots nobody had ever heard of. Who cares if the geeks like it? Not the studio. What matters is the bottom line and we all know what that is. The nerd audience may have its sway on the interweb, but mostly it is the inconsequential rantings of people like you and me. People with a bit of time to do exactly this and actually care. The rest of the world is indifferent.
Bay Knows Action! by Charles_Corkey_Thatcher	May 28th, 2008 06:23:02 AM
Just like Pearl Harbor! The man has never made a fully enjoyable movie and transformers was no different. It is sad when a cartoon outdoes you in dialog and plot. I believe people went to that movie to see actual transformers not a lame kid and his unfunny parents. That movie was truly terrible. Bay is pathetic and so is everyone that defends him.
TINO2 will be just as bad by photoboy	May 28th, 2008 06:23:16 AM
Until Bay puts the original designs back and stops using the stupid scrap metal look it will always be shit. Couple that with Bay's inability to distinguish between ideas and explosions and this one will be equally brain dead and creatively bankrupt.
Chicks dig giant robots! by DerLanghaarige	May 28th, 2008 06:26:52 AM

Its a fucked up world where... by Keeper Of Chimps	May 28th, 2008 06:30:33 AM
a piece of shit like Transformers is embraced but not Prince Caspian.
This will be as ridiculous as..... by Clarence Bodiker	May 28th, 2008 06:31:39 AM
Well, I actually don't know how ridiculous it will be, but I'm sure it will be a complete terror on your wallet. You pay = You lose. This movie will be terrible. The first was so bad I could barely stand it and I'm sure the second will be worse. As many have already talked about, when are sequels better than the first? Certainly not her, because Bay is the most ridiculous movie maker in the world and I often wonder how he hasn't descended to Boll type levels. No matter what you think, this will be terrible.
Prince Caspian Wasn't Embraced Because... by LaserPants	May 28th, 2008 06:33:30 AM
people, by and large, are done with christian-themed propaganda er enterainment.
TransKaka 2 by FILMFUNK	May 28th, 2008 06:38:11 AM
Shiny MegaPoo!
Damn You Michael Bay by MCMLXXVI	May 28th, 2008 06:41:34 AM
Damn You Michael Bay
what was unclear..... by j2talk	May 28th, 2008 06:44:36 AM
what was unclear about transformers?.....'bots are searching for the cube......cube is hidden on earth....item linking cube is found...autobots protect the bearer of item...Decepticons want item.....They movie seemed fairly straightforward to me....course i didnt go in expecting anything more than i got....2 hours entertainment on a summer day.....wasnt a bad way to spend $5....
j2talk by Clarence Bodiker	May 28th, 2008 06:47:29 AM
exactly that kind of mentality that makes movies shit. 5 dollars??? where did you go see this?? rental? fine. get it. it is an obvious rental. this movie stunk. i hope that the second will be good, but why would you have hope with the same team going to work?
5 dollars? get outta here...... by Clarence Bodiker	May 28th, 2008 06:48:12 AM

Hope Soundwave shows up in the sequel.. by Yeti	May 28th, 2008 06:51:18 AM
He was always one of my favorite Decepticons.
Little moments??? by NYSCO6390	May 28th, 2008 06:53:00 AM
WHAT little moments? You mean the half second where they look at each other when Megs woke up? The only way this movie will work for the real fans and not just for the "OOOH SHINY BOOM STUFF" crowds will be if Bay and his cronies actually research what the 'bots were like in any of the previous incarnations and stick with that instead of more crap with humans killing more decepticons than Ironhide did.
Dwight Schrute vs. Decepticons? by deathstar73	May 28th, 2008 06:54:48 AM
The Decepticons don't stand a chance.
soundwave by Clarence Bodiker	May 28th, 2008 06:56:46 AM
it would always suck, just like the first movie. better to let it alone.
Who cares? by Drunken Rage	May 28th, 2008 06:59:00 AM

drunken rage by Clarence Bodiker	May 28th, 2008 07:01:15 AM
apparently, nobody. so go to bed knowing you are right.
hmmm....juno from the creek? by Bouncy X	May 28th, 2008 07:02:01 AM
all this talk about juno's dialogue being "too hip" or whatever, makes me wonder if the writer used to write for dawson's creek since that show was accused of the same stuff. or maybe this girl is related to kevin williamson or maybe its him with a sex change...who knows.
..the lil Robots that made Ewok sounds by TimMighty	May 28th, 2008 07:07:33 AM
..better not be in this one. Cant believe noone mentioned them. The one sequence where Optimus transforms in front of no nipple girl and young indiana jones was cool..got to give you this one Michael...ohhh and somebody better tell shia what "curse" lies on the actors that play young indie...hmmm .
IQ by tygrus2000	May 28th, 2008 07:12:39 AM
nobody with any amount of respectable intelligence can defend the garbage that was transformers last summer. It was one of the THE WORST movies to ever come out of hollywood. The dialogue was the worst mush mouthed crap I have ever heard. The action was just chaos with jerky camera movements. The 80's cartoon is oscar worthy compared to that abortion.
Yeah but does Bay know sequels? by Series7	May 28th, 2008 07:13:03 AM
Bad Boys 2? How is this going to be any different? And I guess he is not too conserned with this being any more serious by casting casting one of the one note wonders frome the office.
kuldan by Series7	May 28th, 2008 07:14:01 AM
You want to know what a good cartoon show to movie apatation is? Watch Speed Racer.
Waiting 3 years for by Annie The Pod Racer	May 28th, 2008 07:14:13 AM
a typical fight between Starscream & Megatron is not worth it.These are just human version episodes. Too much humans!!!! Go fight on Cybertron, you already show'd it to us!
Ummm by Series7	May 28th, 2008 07:16:39 AM
Whats with the 25 years of Tom Cruise link on this site? Is that a real thing? What is he retiring? Also after watching that clip of his works.... why hasn't he done a movie with Micheal Bay? They are perfect for each other. I am not saying that in a bad way, their styles match up pretty well.
Why the "hate"? by BizarroJerry	May 28th, 2008 07:18:35 AM
My hate is reserved for Bumblebee pissing on a guy, the masturbation conversation, Jazz breakdancing, virtually no attempt to make any Transformer a character... Despite what anyone says about "it's a cartoon", there's potential for a TF movie with a good story. If we can over analyze every superhero movie and lament that it's not dark or serious enough, I see no reason why TF has to be written off as nothing more than silly and fun. Do I want a humorless film? No. I'd just like an attempt to take what is good out of the source material, instead of making a film without any respect towards the original source. Once the TF's started beating on each other? That was good.
FLAMES ON OPTIMUS = FACE ON HK by Motoko Kusanagi	May 28th, 2008 07:22:31 AM
fact
What makes Transformers by Series7	May 28th, 2008 07:22:55 AM
So terrible, is the fact that the cartoon movie is so good. The cartoon movie is amazing. The music is probably one of my top five soundtraks (WEIRD AL!). Like when they rereleased the G.I. Joe movie and the Transformers on VHS back in the late 90's I bought them both. And the G.I. Joe movie was pretty bad when compared to the Transformers movie. SOOO maybe we'll have a good G.I. Joe live action film!... probably not especially since they'll probably be using real guns not lasars.
BUSTEDTEES by ATARI	May 28th, 2008 07:23:49 AM
Proof that pert titties are alive and well.
all those things bizarrojerry... by Clarence Bodiker	May 28th, 2008 07:25:16 AM
it's not over analyzation, it's watching something handled in a poor way. i agree with you, there is room to make this a good thing and i hope that it ends up that way, but, let's think about whose handling the material. so, now we know it will be crap.
And I hope this will be rated R for... by Motoko Kusanagi	May 28th, 2008 07:28:04 AM
...TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION !!!
"Bay knows action" by rbatty024	May 28th, 2008 07:43:13 AM
No. No he doesn't. That's the problem with Michael Bay. He has no clue how to shoot action. He just sets up a bunch of cameras and then randomly picks them for his one hundred shots a second action sequence. That's why I never understood the, it's just dumb fun argument, because it might be dumb but it sure as hell isn't fun. It's just annoying. Instead of filming something exciting, Bay tries to trick the audience into thinking his films are exciting.
The first was a steaming pile of shit by NightArrows	May 28th, 2008 07:52:45 AM
LAME fucking Autobot dialogue ("What up bitches?"....what the fuck is that shit?) TERRIBLE 'bot designs (nothing but piles of pipes and sharp pointy ends. Nice fucking lips Optimus) and a SHITTY LAME TERRIBLE end that SHOULD have been an awesome toe to toe between Optimus and Megatron, not Prime getting bitch slapped only to be saved by a fucking kid. SO FUCK the sequel, and FUCK Bay. He's a hack and anything he touches turns to shit.
All I know is after Transformers, I forgave Michael Bay for Arma by beefywhore	May 28th, 2008 07:54:34 AM
It'll take a lot for me to let Pearl Harbor go...
Oh... by NightArrows	May 28th, 2008 07:56:37 AM
And the prime demo for Transformers, those who lapped it up, are people who use the term "I seen that movie".
This might excite.... by Clarence Bodiker	May 28th, 2008 07:57:57 AM

Totally agree with Quint by chrth	May 28th, 2008 08:04:06 AM
The Starscream-Megatron relationship was totally fan service and probably the best part of the movie.
Bay Knows Action... by XOMuffintop	May 28th, 2008 08:11:58 AM
like Dan Brown knows flowing artful prose. In fact, there are some comparisons between Bay and Brown to be mnade. Both use style over substance. Both bend the laws of physics and science to their own narraticve wishes (not really a bad thing sometimes, but it si a similarity). And both tend to use tired and cliched plot points and resolutions. I am certain Transformers 2 will be better than the first (and I kinda liked the first one due to having very low expectations of the movie that were surpassed). Because, we all know that Bad Boys 2 was such a cinematice achievement over the original (I realld hope my sarcasm is noiced here. I am new to posting on boards).
Above... by XOMuffintop	May 28th, 2008 08:12:49 AM
Fucking proofreading!!!! Remember it, Muffintop!
"Christian themed propaganda" by Keeper Of Chimps	May 28th, 2008 08:15:11 AM
Simplifying the whole Narnia thing as "Christian themed propaganda" really shows some limited thinking there. I guess we'll see if you're right when "The Hobbit" comes out - or didn't you realize that this was a Christian metaphor as well?
Bay knew action by Series7	May 28th, 2008 08:16:12 AM
And it was called Bad Boys and the Rock. He has since parted ways with action and substituted it with lots of money.
Bay is not capable of making a good movie. by Underoos Hero	May 28th, 2008 08:18:58 AM
Name ONE "good" movie that this man has made. I dare you.
Underoos Hero by Series7	May 28th, 2008 08:22:39 AM
The Rock and Bad Boys. Say what you want but those movies are good. I've gone back and watch Armagedon again now that I am not 12 and yeah its terrible, but the Rock and Bad Boys hold up.
$5 = matinee by j2talk	May 28th, 2008 08:22:56 AM
$5= matinee prices all seats before 4.......during the winter months that is 1 show only-first show is usually 330......I never go to evening shows, to many people,loud kids,adults with cellphones(WORST invention EVER) generally a bad movies experience....
get over it by j2talk	May 28th, 2008 08:24:15 AM
what the hell are you looking for in a movie that you complain about a film like transformers?......the movie delivered what it was supposed to.....2 hrs of summer entertainment, nothing more
fan outrage? by crashbarbarian	May 28th, 2008 08:24:22 AM
i think there were a lot more satisfied fans then outraged fans? statements like that encouage "phantom" hate... you know where people with simple minds are easily swayed to make an opinion on something based on what they hear others saying... like most liberals and the news
Nooo by NightArrows	May 28th, 2008 08:29:02 AM
If I want "summer entertainment", I'll go to a Six Flags and ride some coasters. When I walk into a MOVIE I expect at least a modicum of fucking QUALITY, not excuses by a bunch of limp wrists who eat shit up on a regular basis and exclaim "what do you expect, steak?".
All the cry babies will still see it by Sithdan	May 28th, 2008 08:30:53 AM
No matter how much "fan outrage" these Transformers films garner, fans will still go to see them. So it doesn't matter. The Star Wars prequels were viewed multiple times by "haters" and this is being repeated with the new Indiana Jones. They talk big on the Internet, but in reality they own Transformers on DVD and will be in line for the sequel on opening day.
Only a complete idiot by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 08:34:53 AM
couldn't tell the difference between the Autobots and Decepticons in Bay's film. They were all different shapes, sizes, and colors. I think it was obvious who was who when Optimus was fighting Megatron, or when Jazz was fighting anybody. I also love how you chuckleheads think that Jon Voight turned into an action here because he fired a shotgun a couple of times. What would you do, cower in fear like a little bitch? Probably. Just shut the fuck up. Seriously. Shut your fucking traps, you whiny little fanboy bitches. I hope Bay makes Soundwave into an iPod Nano in the next film, simply to piss off you useless fucks.
Dwight's one line of dialogue as a college Prof is this: by Phil Connors	May 28th, 2008 08:35:14 AM
"Go go go go go go go!!" Vintage Michael Bay exposition.
my point being by j2talk	May 28th, 2008 08:35:43 AM
my point being....going into these films looking for a masterpiece is setting yourself up for disapointment....i am in the camp who liked Daredevil/FF/Transformers- better than NOT getting a film (and I'd like to see sequels)...and pretty much delivered what I expected to see on the screen... They are "Summer" films,I didnt go in expecting to see Oscar worthy filmmaking
that was supposed to be "action hero" by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 08:36:17 AM
Goddamn. Howsabout an edit function? It's not like it would be difficult to add.
Sithdan is correct by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 08:38:10 AM
Whiny little bitches.
The film was better than the cartoon. by TheLastCleric	May 28th, 2008 08:40:05 AM
I grew up watching the cartoon and for the life of me I don't get why people think it has depth and nuance because it doesn't and it never did. The film was goofy fun with some great FX work. People take this franchise way too seriously.
"...wasn't without it's faults..."?? by Pdorwick	May 28th, 2008 08:45:30 AM
If by that you mean it was a huge pile of shit then I most hardily agree. The art of movie making doesn't need another fucking Transfomers movie... come on.
Better than no film at all... by NightArrows	May 28th, 2008 08:46:56 AM
Is like settling on the first chick you have sex with. How about making a stand for quality? Instead of lapping up the shit you get shoveled and moaning like Droopy Dog "I'm happy they gave me anything at alll". I'd rather they never make the film than be handed a piece of middle of the road, and lower, shit. It doesn't have to be Oscar-worthy, but then again why CAN'T it be? Simply because it has robots doesn't mean it has to be disposable shit. And fuck you seagrass you silly twat, Darwin is coming for you.
by huggerorange	May 28th, 2008 08:47:52 AM
the sector 7 shit was retarded, couldnt even be taken seriously since they were trying to throw in the lame one liner jokes..i really hope the get rid of that ..Why does every fucking character have to try to be funny?
by huggerorange	May 28th, 2008 08:50:28 AM
They clearly admitted they couldnt show the transformers enough cause they didnt have enough money for the fx.this time, there shouldnt be an excuse since it obviously made $.
Yep, LastCleric by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 08:52:25 AM
it was pretty much a glorified toy commercial. The episodes that took place after the animated movie were really the only ones that hold up nowadays. The funny thing is, the comic book series for both Transformers and GI Joe took the franchises very seriously. Hell, issue two of GI Joe had a dead guy blow up himself and another guy with a grenade! People hardly ever mention the influence of the comics. I saw more of the comic in Bay's film than I did of the cartoon. People actually died in Bay's film! I looked forward to my monthly issues of both series much more than I looked forward to any episode of their respective TV series. The only thing that was really memorable about the TF cartoon was the voice acting, which was note-perfect.
TheLastCleric by Series7	May 28th, 2008 08:52:41 AM
Have you not seen the Transformers cartoon movie? I don't think that its fan boys that make this movie huge, its dumb idiot frat boy types. Or just dumb guys. Go talk to your buddy that you consider to be the biggest sports fan you know. You know the guy that has no idea other channels outside of ESPN exsits, and you'll find out that he is a huge fan of Transformers.
NightArrows by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 09:01:29 AM
Touched a nerve, did I? I guess you are one of the "whiny little bitches", since you obviously took offense to what I said. Good. I hope the next Transformers movie makes your head explode like a Scanner victim.
The Transformers Cartoon Movie by TheLastCleric	May 28th, 2008 09:03:56 AM
That film has aged incredibly poorly. The only cool aspects of the film are Prime's death and Star Sceam being blown away by Galvatron. It's grade A cheese all the way.
Dwight Shrute will Win. by EriamJH	May 28th, 2008 09:05:13 AM
He already beat the Dunder Mifflen online ordering system, and THAT was a sentient machine. It even stated that Dwight was the superior being. And in a pinch, who knows what a can of mace can do to a Decepticon? At the end of the day, it doesn't matter. Their just big toys. (Beets. Bears. Battlestar Galactica.)
"It'd be hard to be worse." by Aethyrr	May 28th, 2008 09:06:59 AM
Exactly.
Seagrass by TheLastCleric	May 28th, 2008 09:07:43 AM
The G.I. Joe comics were hardcore and pretty damn violent. Most people don't realize how nasty those original comics could actually get. The cartoon seems like an even bigger joke when comparing it to the comic because nobody even took a bullet...er..I mean a laser blast.
Schrute vs. Decepticons?!? by SkidMarkedUndies	May 28th, 2008 09:07:54 AM
I'm with the beet farmer. He has pepper spray and throwing stars. Question: Will he be driving his 85' Trans-Am in this one, considering the GM license? That car is so awesome.
Bay is all that is wrong in cinema by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 09:08:10 AM
The closest he has come to a average movie is The Rock. Everything bad in that film comes from the direction.
You know Schrutes . . . by SkidMarkedUndies	May 28th, 2008 09:08:27 AM
produce very thirsty babies.
Series7 by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 09:08:43 AM
You mean the same movie that had the Wreck-Gar and his boys dancing to "Dare To Be Stupid"? Yeah, I thought that was lame even when I was a kid. Also, Judd Nelson made a crappy voice for Hot Rod. Also, I hate sports (except for soccer), was never in a frat, and I enjoyed Transformers, so your theory goes right out the window.
No seagrass... by NightArrows	May 28th, 2008 09:08:46 AM
your post simply illustrates that you are a garbage-gobbling sheep. Enjoy Britney's next album, next season's American Idol and Survivor and what ever else you get shoveled and eat up without questioning the ingredients.
NightArrows by j2talk	May 28th, 2008 09:10:21 AM
why sould they be oscar worthy? I DONT go into these films looking for great filmaking- I go looking to be entertained....i liked most of last yrs summer films...yeah a few things where a bit much (die hard 4s airplane bit) but for the most part i got what i was expecting and for me they where worth the $$ i paid to see them...
Transformers suck but... by CuervoJones	May 28th, 2008 09:13:25 AM
conformists suck harder.
Damn right, LastCleric by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 09:13:47 AM
I mean, Doc got shot in the FACE by SAW Viper's machine gun. Doc! The damn pacifist doctor! That actually upset me when I was a kid. No one ever really died in the Joe comics until that point except for Cobra minions.
j2talk.. by NightArrows	May 28th, 2008 09:14:24 AM
Jesus H. Christ, if you're entertained by shitty film making then my point is lost of you. Being "entertained" and "great film making" don't have to be mutually exclusive. If you are "entertained" by a shitty film, just think how much more you'd enjoy it if it were taken seriously and made with care? My POINT is that we don't have to, nor should we settle, on mediocrity just because of a film's release date.
j2talk by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 09:17:19 AM
Bay is indefensible. Die Hard 4 was limp, but at least you could see what was happening. Bay tries to be Tony Scott and fails utterly. Bay is the worst action director of all time. The Three Amigo's has better filmed set-pieces than all of that fuck's filmography.
Hahahah NightArrows, eat a dick by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 09:18:12 AM
Actually, I listen to groups like Boards of Canada, Kraftwerk, and Jazzanova, and I mainly watch Discovery Channel, History Channel and TCM. I earn a living in music and TV, and not mainstream music or TV, either. You have no idea what you are talking about.
I see the problem here by CuervoJones	May 28th, 2008 09:20:21 AM
Music and TV ar not Cinema.
Yes, entertaining and great films are not mutually by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 09:20:40 AM
exclusive. For god's sake man, look at the eighties.
seagrass... by NightArrows	May 28th, 2008 09:22:05 AM
Wow, you've really proven me wrong with your authoritative list of music taste and that you "make a living in music and TV". So does Uwe Boll...
NightArrows by j2talk	May 28th, 2008 09:22:49 AM
My point was simple......go into the flim looking to be enetertained and odds are you will be...go in looking to find fault and you will
Bad Boys 2 by SeanMiller	May 28th, 2008 09:23:55 AM
I have to disagree with almost everyone in this talkback. While I am not the biggest fan of Bay, I do think Bad Boys 2 does a very good job of staging the action and allowing the viewer to follow what is happening on screen. The first example is the rotating camera scene where the camera keeps spinning around both rooms showing the viewer exactly what was going on. Bay used this technique again for a brief sec in Transformers at the end with Jon Voight and Anthony Anderson. All of Bay's car chase scenes in Bad Boys 2 also uses plenty of wide angle shots. There is also the scene where there is a shoot out in the middle of an intersection where Bay shows all angles of the fight and who is where. So, I do think Bay "knows" action, but it only comes through when he really is having fun with no budget constraints. Don't forget about Starscreams fighter jet sequence at the end of Transformers. That was pretty awesome and well shot.
Transformers got a lot more right by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 09:25:00 AM
than it got wrong. The only real missteps were: Bumblebee's piss break and Turturro's character, who was the only person not taking things seriously. Frenzy I could live with because he was a murdering bastard. Now, just for a moment, imagine if Spielberg had directed Transformers. After seeing the last Indiana Jones film, I really don't think he could have done better than Bay. I didn't hate KOTCS, by the way, just thought it was pretty average. I enjoyed Transformers more.
j2talk by NightArrows	May 28th, 2008 09:25:03 AM
Whatever man, enjoy what you enjoy. It seems the circle of life continues.
Yes because we all know Bay has a better track record... by NightArrows	May 28th, 2008 09:29:48 AM
...than Spielberg. Give me a fucking break. Spielberg AND Lucas fuck up KOTCS and that automatically makes Bay a better choice for TF? Spielberg has more talent in his wife's tits than Bay does in his entire coke-ridden body.
I'll admit Bad Boys 2 was bugnuts by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 09:30:50 AM
but you guys bag on Raimi, Shymalan for miss-steps after masterpieces but Bay gets a free ride. He makes truly soulless cinema.
by j2talk	May 28th, 2008 09:30:57 AM
i just never expected more out of the film, to me it delivered.....its the Transformers not The Usual Suspects..... and i got what i expected to given the source material, the director and the actors...
NightArrows by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 09:33:35 AM
You really are an idiot. 3 items hardly makes an authoritative list, I agree, but what do you want? A dissertation on the fucking hurdy-gurdy and it's use in modern classical music? I picked 3 groups you probably have heard of, big deal. Ever heard of Gel-Sol? John Adams? Ken Andrews? Hum? The em:t label? Sonar Kollektiv? Do you know what the minimalist movement was about? Have you ever heard a prepared piano played live? Do you know anything at all?
Seagrass by TinSpider	May 28th, 2008 09:36:27 AM
Boards of Canada are fucking ace. As are Plaid. However, I don't agree with your opinion on the film. I saw nothing of the comics in Bay's Transformers. The robots in the comics had depth and characterisation. Bay's take on the franchise had nether.
I never said that Bay was a better director by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 09:36:41 AM
than Spielberg. He's not even on the same level. Oh, and I could have sworn that Spielberg wanted Bay to direct Transformers. By your logic, that means that Spielberg doesn't know what he is doing, either. You give me a fucking break.
Spielberg and Lucas fuck up KOTCS? by CuervoJones	May 28th, 2008 09:37:54 AM
I have problems with that movie, but critics and common people are loving it.
Nah, Spielberg just saw $$$$$$ by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 09:38:08 AM
he's a jew ya know.
What I do know... by NightArrows	May 28th, 2008 09:38:15 AM
Is that you are defending a bloated piece of cinematic shit like you gave birth to it, while at the same time trying to seem like a person of taste, the two don't work well together. I simply called for people to stop accepting the shit they are given by fucking hacks and ask for something better.
NightArrows by TinSpider	May 28th, 2008 09:40:11 AM
..I hear ya. I can't see why we can't have quality and enjoyment. It worked in the 80's.
Hell yeah, that's what I said by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 09:44:32 AM
The Fuckin Eighties. My personal Golden Era of Hollywood. Rambo's, Marty Mcfly, Indy, Star Wars, Swarzenegger, John Hughes(When he was good), Eddie Murphy(When he was good), and many more!!!!!!!
Tinspider by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 09:44:35 AM
Indeed they are. Check out Caural or Secret Frequency Crew if you like those groups. Kinda like Prefuse, but not. You and I will just have to agree to disagree about Transformers. I recently re-read the entire Marvel run, and I really thought that Bay's film took the best elements of the comics and the animated series, but more so from the comics.
Spielberg choosing Bay by youhatestarwars	May 28th, 2008 09:48:16 AM
His criteria for a director was that he wanted someone who can make a big, brash, expensive, technical, effects-heavy movie. And sadly, not much else. Bay can do that.
More 80's gold by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 09:49:54 AM
Goonies, Ghoulies, Critters, Freddy movies, Die Hard, Mel Gibson(Mad Max 2 & 3, Lethal Weapon 1 & 2), and many many more......
ok... by j2talk	May 28th, 2008 09:52:19 AM
so what is "quality"? to you.....what was "wrong" with transformers and how do you fix it...
As for music.. by NightArrows	May 28th, 2008 09:53:20 AM
I prefer the work of Miles Davis, Les McCann & Eddie Harris, Coltrane, Charlie Parker, Bill Withers, Beck, but then I'm not a music aficionado...
NightArrows by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 09:54:10 AM
Your logic is mind-blowing. Really, it is. I never said that Transformers was the end-all, be-all of cinema. I enjoyed the film. That's it. I just hate whiny little fanboy bitches who think they know everything.
NightArrows by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 09:56:12 AM
are you my dead grandad?
Yes by NightArrows	May 28th, 2008 09:58:39 AM
I AM your dead grandad, and I can see everything you do. Stop touching yourself in the bathroom and no that dark spot on your back won't heal, you better see a doctor about it!
Wow. by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 09:59:32 AM
Mainstream jazz. Wonderful musicians, but still pretty mainstream. All those guys put out some crap in their time, you know. If you had mentioned The Art Ensemble of Chicago or Can I would have been impressed. Beck's output has been uneven since Midnite Vultures, although bringing Matt Mahaffey from Self with him on tour was a nice move. I just remixed a Bill Withers track, actually.
Some of the best jazz in the world today by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 10:01:59 AM
is coming from Japan. The Soil and Pimp Sessions, for example. Sleep Walker. Hajime Yoshizawa.
What was wrong with Transformers by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 10:02:31 AM
The D.O.P. was on ritalin, urinating bumblebee(who talked through the radio), terrible exposition, Centrefold Hacker, That fat black asshole, subplots that go nowhwhere(the chicks criminal record and Shias subsequent snub) and the Autobot's in the backyard sequence. I'm too bored to type any more, but I got plenty.
I wasn't trying to impress... by NightArrows	May 28th, 2008 10:03:04 AM
As I said, I'm not a huge "music guy", I enjoy much of what they've done. I'd like to see ONE artist that hasn't put out something that doesn't measure up to what they've done before.
NightArrows by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 10:03:28 AM
where'd you put your watch?
Damn You Michael Bay by Crow3711	May 28th, 2008 10:04:00 AM
You Suck. Transformers is the worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life. I know lots of people get all dramatic and say that stuff, but I really mean it.
This one I think has something to do with aliens by Itto Ogami loses Daigoro	May 28th, 2008 10:04:28 AM
But not the chest bursting kind
"where'd you put your watch?" by NightArrows	May 28th, 2008 10:06:38 AM
You KNOW! :)
Anyone Say Back To The Future 2? by Frodo T. Baggins	May 28th, 2008 10:06:52 AM
Thats one of the best ever. 28 Weeks Later (arguable). American Pie 2. Wow Im really digging here
Um, Dirtyjokes by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 10:07:13 AM
The criminal record subplot was resolved. Shia snubbed her, then heard her side of the story, and made sure her record was expunged. Did you actually watch the film?
Don Knotts Vs. Jason by Cletus Van Damme	May 28th, 2008 10:07:50 AM
Sorry...I was inspired by the talkback title.
Yeah I did watch it by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 10:09:55 AM
at least it made me laugh, especially how that was 'resolved' hahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaa
seagrass, your right, I'm wrong by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 10:12:24 AM
obviously the characters and their interactions to the plot are second to none. MICHEAL BAY FOR PRESIDENT.
Nightarrows by TheLastCleric	May 28th, 2008 10:14:50 AM
I don't need you or anybody else to define quality for me, thank you very much. I enjoyed Transformers for what it was and I will remind you that not everything needs to possess the artistic merit of There Will Be Blood or No Country for Old Men. There are different kinds of films and my expectations for those different genres are varied. I didn't walk into Indy 4 expecting the same experience I received from watching The Assassination of Jesse James.(Although in retrospect Indy is a hell of a lot more fun) Transformers is based on a cartoon that was in turn nothing more than a daily, 30 minute toy commercial. All I wanted to see was realistic-looking robots thrashing the crap out of each other, which is precisely what I got.
Mickey Rooney Vs. Leatherface by Cletus Van Damme	May 28th, 2008 10:16:12 AM
Halloween 2009
Nevertheless by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 10:16:49 AM
It was resolved. So, your argument is incorrect. Admit when you are wrong, it makes you a better man. There were a lot of things about Transformers that I didn't like, but that wasn't one of them. It also was barely a subplot, just background information about her character's family and her reason for acting the way she did.
I guess you didn't get my use of 'resolved' by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 10:19:37 AM
thats not resolution fucktard, it's the easiest way out of something that shouldn't have been there in the first place. It did nothing for her character, it was just thrown in like so much robot piss.
Goddammit by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 10:19:41 AM
It's "you're". You are. Not "your". That kind of shit is worth picking nits over, not barely-there subplots in action movies. Do you add an extra 's' to disappointed as well?
Yesss fucktard I doooooo by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 10:23:58 AM
bayloverrrrrrrrr.
Actually by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 10:25:49 AM
I hate to say this, but it gave her character a little bit of depth. Few of the characters in Transformers had a lot of depth, but at least you know why she did what she did. It was background information about her character. Again, you are incorrect. Why shouldn't it have been there in the first place?
Where Hollywood is missing easy "better sequel" opportunities... by Cletus Van Damme	May 28th, 2008 10:26:48 AM
Ishtar 2 Gigli 2 Breakin' 4: Whatchoo Still Breakin' Fo'? Monster Squad 2: Mummy's Got Nards, But They're Different Somehow The English Patient II: Total Recovery Apollo 14 Forrest Gump 2: Retard Strength
I like exactly two Michael Bay films by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 10:31:36 AM
The Rock and Transformers. Everything else is crap (although the violence in Bad Boys 2 was pretty entertaining). You call me a Baylover, I call you a sheepfucker.
TheLastCleric by NightArrows	May 28th, 2008 10:33:14 AM
That's fine. There are some of us who want more out of the films we see. You can have your shitty Indy 4, and I will be content that a film like Raiders was made. I enjoy asking for more and getting it every once in a while. The difference is that with a little more care and some actual talent, we get films like Star Wars and Empire Strikes Back instead of shit like Ice Pirates and Battle Beyond the Stars.
"Fucktard" by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 10:33:23 AM
is possibly the worst curse word ever invented. Ironically, it is mainly used by people who meet its definition.
I'm through with arguing about this. You have been eloquent by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 10:33:29 AM
and concise but I guess we shall never agree. What about all of my other points? It's obvious I do not agree about that particular subplot. What about the cinematography? What about the contempt shown in the backyard hide and seek. It was drock, pure and simple.
What about Cuntwipe, or Spermgurgler? by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 10:35:40 AM
dude, you need to get out more. But Sheepfuckers not bad.
Hey Cuntwipe, did you like Indy 4? by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 10:37:21 AM
just curious.
TheLastCleric by Series7	May 28th, 2008 10:37:38 AM
Thats the problem, you didn't get "realistic-looking robots thrashing the crap out of each other". You got a human movie. Micheal Bay said before that he wanted to make it a human movie, not a bashing robots movie. Case in point, the scene were bumble bee is fighting a bad guy and instead to seeing that take place you see a glimpse or two in the background and hear it while Shia and girl run around doing something else.
But Series7 by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 10:44:58 AM
Both the comics and cartoon had plenty of human interaction. Otherwise, why the point of the term "Robots in Disguise"? Who would they be disguising themselves from? Each other? Why would they need to do that? They had been warring for centuries already! That was never the reason for their alternate modes on earth. The alternate modes were so they could fit in, unnoticed. The humans were needed for scale and impact. The Witwicky family were an extremely important part of both the comics and cartoon. There was just as much human interaction those, if not more. The last hour or so of Transformers was indeed "realistic-looking robots thrashing the crap out of each other". How can you say otherwise?
The human movie by NightArrows	May 28th, 2008 10:48:18 AM
I agree that too much time was spent on the meatbags. That's not to say I think it should have been all 'bots all the time. But there is no way in hell a fucking grenade launcher should have been the "Independence Day Virus™". The humans should have been helpless passengers on this ride with the resolution to the whole mess being Transformer-centric, not Sam shoving a fucking cube up Megatron's ass.
Nomoredirtyjokes is obviously by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 10:48:40 AM
about 12 years old. Go back to masturbating over those half-naked Megan Fox pics. That, or grow the fuck up. I thought Indy 4 was an average film, BTW. Last Crusade was much better.
Which leads me to the overall point... by NightArrows	May 28th, 2008 10:49:51 AM
in that Bay really doesn't give a shit what the wrapping of the film is, he just wants to make his slow-motion turns and over-the-shoulder sun shots, concept be damned.
RE:what was wrong by j2talk	May 28th, 2008 10:50:10 AM
urinating bumblebee- ok that is a given- but it brought a laff in the theatre so somebody liked it. who talked through the radio- actually nice character point Centrefold Hacker- so all hackers got to be geeks? That fat black asshole- true did nothing , until the end that is, not particularly likeable but served a point the chicks criminal record and Shias subsequent snub- explained how she could hot wire a car....)
seagrass by Series7	May 28th, 2008 10:53:12 AM
Ok, so you know more of the story of Transformers then me. I mainly just played with the toys. But I don't agree with you that the last hour was just robots beating the shit out of each other. It was yes, but still in the background of humans running around doing shit.
your hungry you haven't eaten by ghunz	May 28th, 2008 10:55:49 AM
in a week and a half, do you take a burgar out the garbage or do you starve, i'll take the burgar (TRANSFORMERS), anyday......
The humans were never helpless by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 10:57:33 AM
in the comics or the cartoon. Also, the Decepticons were brought down in Bay's film by a combination of Autobot and human technology. If Bumblebee hadn't been brought back into the battle, they probably wouldn't have won. Ironhide and Ratchet were outnumbered and outmatched after Jazz was killed. It was 4 against 2 at that point, at least until Optimus got there. The humans were having a pretty tough time of it. Josh Duhamel's character states this several times. The sabot rounds were not some sort of "magic virus", just a minor weakness. They nailed Scorponok with them earlier, and he still got away nearly unscathed.
Get over yourself, Nightarrows by TheLastCleric	May 28th, 2008 10:57:47 AM
Just because you didn't like something doesn't make it shit. I know your mamma told you the sun rises and sets in your ass crack but that simply isn't true. I love Raiders but I can also enjoy Indy 4 and I make no apologies for that. I watch plenty of art house cinema and features that exist off the beaten path; usually in the presence of poser elitists like you who actually delude yourselves into thinking you have any real working knowledge of art. You don't, and no amount of slandering me and others who don't subscribe to your narrow, pedantic theories regarding quality cinema is going to imbue you with any actual insight or make your weak sauce points any stronger. You don't demand more from films, you just think you do. And Kudos to being a bandwagon clown; your mention of Raiders and Empire, etc, is so fucking stale and tired. Why even see new films if all you can muster is the enthusiasm to dry hump the past?
LastCleric by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 11:04:11 AM
thank you for the proper use of the word "pedantic".
Ghunz just made my head explode by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 11:05:31 AM
Wow.
TheLastCleric by NightArrows	May 28th, 2008 11:08:32 AM
I never mentioned enjoying "art house film", I don't and never have. I used Raiders and Empire as an example BECAUSE INDY 4 WAS FUCKING DISCUSSED IN THIS THREAD. It's CONTEXTUAL you fucking fink. I told you you could enjoy what you want, and I would do the same. If I demand perfection in the type of films I go to it's always contextual to the genre which again, is why I held up Raiders and Empire as my examples, if you prefer a more modern example the first Matrix film works too, as does Equilibrium and hell Batman Begins, all movies that could have sucked that took the proper care to not sink them into the abyss of their genre's bretheren. So go stuff your assumptions up your art house attending ass, because I truly think that's probably code for "porno theater" and the poser elitist you sat next to couldn't have been me because I prefer to masturbate in the comfort of my own home.
I just realized Rain Wilson is in Galaxy Quest. by Cotton McKnight	May 28th, 2008 11:09:22 AM
Transformers was pretty good. Nice addition to the cast, I think.
Yeah seagrass, I'm 12 by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 11:12:16 AM
wanna make out?
j2talk...shit forgot about the hotwiring by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 11:16:19 AM
See seagrass, that's how you prove me wrong spermgurgler.
There are no good Michael Bay movies... by Bones	May 28th, 2008 11:17:15 AM
The Rock is the only somewhat entertaining film he ever did, and that is due to Connery being the man. Here's a thought for the writers of the new movie--MAKE THE ROBOTS CHARACTERS. The Comics and the TV show (yes it was a glorified commercial) made the Robots the main characters of the piece, not the humans--and with appropriate writing and directing, they could do that in the films as well. But they wont. What we will get is a razor thin plot, Big explosions, action sequences that are hard to watch do to overly designed robots handheld camera passes and no internal sense of logic, and a lot of flag-waiving. In short, a Michael Bay film. Baw Weep Granna Weep Ninny Bom, Motherfrakkers.
Also seagrass by Series7	May 28th, 2008 11:19:44 AM
Since they decided to show how transformers take their shape, what stops them from ever dying? Can't they always just morph into a newer model? I don't think they ever explained that in the show or comics. I mean since Indiana is invincible shouldn't a robot from space be as well?
NightArrows...you had me until you said Equilibrium... by Bones	May 28th, 2008 11:22:20 AM
Equilibrium was one of the shittiest science fiction action films I have ever seen...mostly because Taye Diggs and Angus MacFayden must never have gotten the memo about the characters NOT HAVING LARGE EMOTIONS. Taye Diggs: "Isn't it so great not to have emotions?" CRACKS A GIANT GRIN Angus MacFayden: "Why Yes, it is. Our lack of emotions is WHY I SCREAM MOST OF MY DIALOGUE!!!!!" They both cackle maniacally. Taye Diggs: "Did your check for this horrible movie clear?" Horrible f*cking movie.
Another point about Transformers... by Bones	May 28th, 2008 11:28:01 AM
They should look like Giant Transforming Japanese Robots...because the toys they were based on were GIANT TRANSFORMING JAPANESE ROBOTS. I swear, they would look cool. There is no shame in having them look like the vehicles they turn into. In the original concept, they send the probe out which rebuilt them ON THE SURFACE to look like human vehicles that closely matched their Cybertron form--this means that they only look like cars and planes on the outside, NOT atom by atom recreations of cars and planes. It would make more sense.
Yeah, Bones by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 11:30:56 AM
I watched Equilibrium with a room full of friends. I could appreciate the low budget action but Taye Diggs showed emotion from the start and it ruined the film. Ditto with that MacFayden guy.
Equilibrium by NightArrows	May 28th, 2008 11:32:40 AM
Lol, it may not be the best example, but it was a nice little film that surprised me compared to much of the low-budget fare out there.
Series7 by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 11:47:20 AM
Each robot has its own "Spark" which is basically its soul. Basically, a 'bot could survive as long as it had its spark. This idea wasn't really mentioned much in the early days of the series, but was really expanded upon in Beast Wars and the newer animated shows. The Allspark from Bay's film is meant to emulate the Creation Matrix, which the Primes carried in their chest, and which gave the Transformers life. I'm guessing that the Allspark in Bay's movie didn't really kill Megatron...it will probably end up turning him into something more powerful in the next film (Galvatron). That's really the only way they can handle it without severly fucking up established Transformers canon.
The universal greeting by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 11:52:04 AM
was the absolute worst thing about the animated movie. I thought that shit was lame even when I was a kid. Just like I thought "Dare To Be Stupid" was lame. It's like putting a fart joke into a Star Wars film...oh, wait.
We should consider ourselves lucky by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 11:57:02 AM
that we even got a live-action Transformers film in our lifetime, regardless of whether or not it met expectations. Hearing Peter Cullen on the big screen was a childhood thrill I got to experience twice, and the arrival of the Autobots was note-perfect (especially the score).
Assistant to the.. by Vansmack30	May 28th, 2008 11:57:37 AM
I hear Rainn will play the "Assistant to the leader of the Autobots"
Seagrass... by Bones	May 28th, 2008 12:02:59 PM
We should only consider ourselves lucky when they actually get it right. Otherwise, we are just being happy that our lowered expectations were met...which is not a happy thing--it is kind of sad.
I think they did get it right by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 12:13:49 PM
and that's enough for me. No one will ever convince me that Transformers is a bad film. I've watched it several times, and the only things that annoy me are Turturro and of course Bumblebee's bathroom break. However, those are not enough to make me hate the film, not one bit.
Rainn Wilson SUCKS! by Proman1984	May 28th, 2008 12:15:12 PM
He is the most annoying guy!
Bay Doesn't Know Action... by moseaphus	May 28th, 2008 12:18:50 PM
Bay knows his demographic. TF was written for Johnny f'in Six Pack who likes big s'plosions and could care less about dialog and character development. TF was a Cleveland steamer and Bay wipes his arse with the millions. TF2 will be the same.
Also by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 12:20:57 PM
my expectations were never lowered, but they were realistic. It's a movie based on a toy. It had robots beating on each other. It had robots transforming into vehicles. It rising action, a climx, and falling action. It was well-acted (except for Turturro), had high production values, and the narrative made sense. And I was entertained. I almost feel sorry for people who can't be entertained by movies like Transformers or Speed Racer. I really do.
seagrass, there's a difference between the two by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 12:23:24 PM
Transformers was drock, Speed Racer was great. Can you honestly not see the difference between the two?
Moseaphus, I'm not Johnny f'in Six Pack by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 12:26:16 PM
but you sure act like you are. Cleveland Steamer? That's a pretty low-brow way of describing a film. Sounds like something Johnny f'in Six Pack would do. By the way, why the hell would you write "s'plosions" when "explosions" contains the exact same number of characters?
Speed Racer was not great by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 12:28:40 PM
It was just like Transformers: an entertaining movie based on a cartoon/toy. It was nowhere close to "great". Jaws is "great". Citizen Kane is "great". 2001 is "great". Speed Racer and Transformers are good, entertaining films. That's it.
Seagrass by Series7	May 28th, 2008 12:40:32 PM
Yeah I agree with you there that we should be happy with seeing a live action Transformers movie being played in the background of another movie, and what we saw was bad ass. Thanks for explaining the life spark thing. See my biggest harp of the film isn't so much the human part, which everything with Shia I thought was handled fine. It was the Jon Voight/John Turturro/Anthony Anderson sub plots that were all just terrible and crapily acted. It was almost like those three actors didn't believe this would be anything bigger then a B-movie, I mean they are all pretty much B-actors right now. And they didn't take is serious, at least Shia took it serious and the girl may as well been a stick that said insert typical high school female here but I could handle all that. I can even handle Tyrese and the guy that who wants to be Timothy Olyphant dumb military crap. Because like all of that was overblown and ridiculous and entertaining at least. But if you are going to make a movie with a computer nerd where everything else in the movie is overblown, don't fucking try to tell me that this super smart spaz computer nerd does all his hacking on what looked like the family computer in the living room he shared. Give me retarded Die Hard 4 computer nerds. You can't go from everything being over the top to silly computer nerd using a IBM from the mid 90's. Also don’t tell me Agent Simmons is part of some super secret organization, then have him act like the Dictator of Tomania. Give me Agent K, give me President Thomas J. Whitmore (yes I realize that Voigt was just a Defense Secretary, but I could have sworn in the movie they said he was the president). I can deal with the stupid piss jokes. When the (3) most respected/experienced actors in the movie fucking act like its a big joke and don't even try to act like they believe what’s going on while Shia and gang are like COME ON GUYS ITS REAL! And its not that these three actors were miscast (well Turturro was) they just didn't care, which makes me not care. I mean Jon Voight gave a better performance in Anaconda then he did in Transformers, and lets face it they are the same type of movie. Plus now after seeing Speed Racer I guess I will expect more from my cartoon to movies. Otherwise keep it like TMNT which was a great transition from the source material.
I hate it because... by Harry Weinstein	May 28th, 2008 12:42:31 PM
...it was sloppily made, the robots were over-designed, it managed somehow to out-stupid the original version (and the original version was stupid, make no mistake), the humor wasn't funny, some of the effects work was embarrassingly shoddy, and after suffering through The Twenty and then still more commercials after that, I'd appreciate it if the film itself would at least pretend to be something other than a commercial for the military, GM, and whoever else paid them to parade their products around on the big screen. It was an irritating, noisy, distasteful pile of crap, and that it didn't flop like THE ISLAND says shameful things about all of humanity, but geek subculture in particular. Are we that tasteless, that easy to placate, that we'll swallow any retarded trash with a familiar title and a bunch of shit exploding? At least the cartoon pretended to care about telling a story, even if it was a toy commercial at heart. The movie did nothing of the sort. FANTASTIC FOUR, my former whipping boy as far as horrendously botched films of this sort go, was merely over-commercialized and generally poor filmmaking. TRANSFORMERS was loathsome, soulless trash with a few pointless and visually incoherent displays of technical proficiency that added up to nothing resembling entertainment. Cinema and humanity itself are both poorer for its existence.
Rainn Wilson. Overrated! by Penetron	May 28th, 2008 12:42:34 PM
He was the worst part of Juno. Thinks that he's much funnier than he is. Listen, ass. Just because your show has great writers that make you sound funny, doesn't make you funny.
Bay woudn't know action if it came... by Gilkuliehe	May 28th, 2008 12:47:08 PM
...break into his home, took a shit in his cocaine table, wait for him in his closet and bit him in his ass. His police statement would still be... "It was an entity of some form, officer... The one who took a shit on my cocai-- er, I mean, coffee table. It had a sense of geography and some stuff I know of, like explosions and awesome shit... But still... I never saw it in my life before. Do I need to see a doctor about my ass?"
Passion of the Christ 2 by schnorbis	May 28th, 2008 12:47:45 PM
Family Guy has a funny trailer for "Passion of the Christ 2: Crucify This" in an episode. Saw the trailer on YouTube a few months ago.
I wish all of Transformers had been cast by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 12:48:02 PM
with relative unknowns. Turturro was not good. I didn't have any problem with Voight. He gave a pretty straightforward performance. People claim he was turned into an action hero, but that's idiocy. He did what any sane human being would do in that situation: he defended himself. Hell, all he did was fire a shotgun a few times. That hardly makes an action hero.
Transformers will go down like Batman and Robin by spectrebeeyatch	May 28th, 2008 12:55:31 PM
It's so corny, "what up bitches" a couple years down the road people will watch this and just roll their eyes. You know how you watch Superman 2 and the campy scenes make you cringe. Go watch Transformers again it's the same thing. Also the people who defend this movie sound like the same people who liked Batman and Robin when it first came out. Once it's not "cool" to defend it anymore the movie will be forgotten and laughed at if remembered.
Harry Weinstein, if you truly think by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 12:56:00 PM
that Fantastic Four is a better movie than Transformers, you are sadly mistaken. I'm just glad I don't surround myself with those as pretentious as yourself.
I love how people like Harry Weinstein by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 01:03:21 PM
and Spectre can predict the future, and also how they presume to know the thoughts and feelings of millions of people...just like that fuck Jeremy over at Chud. The (il)logic that is on display here is staggering. By the way, I hated Batman and Robin, and I still do. The fact that you even brought that movie up in the same sentence as Transformers shows that you know zero about film. Oh, and the "what up bitches" line was no worse than any of Scatman C's delivery in the cartoon. Jazz has always been the stereotype of a "black" Transformer (even though in the cartoon he was ironically painted white). It's unfortunate, but true. I'd say that Jar-Jar Binks was a hell of a lot more of a racist portrayal than Jazz was.
Bullshit, it'll suck shit, like green shit from Bay's asshole by pomophobe	May 28th, 2008 01:13:46 PM
BOOOOOOO!!!
nah dude, a pissin bumblebee is the same as by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 01:15:26 PM
bat nipples. Fool.
Schumacher, though guilty of Batman and Robin by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 01:22:46 PM
trumps Bay due to Falling Down. An actual good movie. Whooda thunk it?
That's one moment in the film, Dirtyjokes by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 01:24:16 PM
The entire running length of Batman and Robin was a travesty. You can't compare the two. Transformers was fucking Citizen Kane compared to Batman and Robin.
I concur with Falling Down by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 01:25:10 PM
One of my favorite movies, actually. D-Fens!
Thankyou George Washington, Goodnight! by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 01:26:19 PM
Chim chiminy chim chim charooo!
D-Fens. Good to see some common ground by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	May 28th, 2008 01:27:55 PM
I just despise Bay.
short circuit 2 by seabiscuits	May 28th, 2008 01:39:48 PM

The late Sydney Pollack had a better sense of action by Orbots Commander	May 28th, 2008 01:49:13 PM
sequences over Bay. He wasn't known for making action movies, but in scenes from Three Days Of the Condor with Robert Redford and in The Firm with Cruise, he staged a couple of thrilling, at the time, fight and chase sequences which were coherent, exciting, and also important, had a sense of geography. The master at this of course is Spielberg, the crappiness of the new Indiana Jones movie aside. Spielberg back at his peak had no equal in staging and shooting fantastic action sequences.
Michael Bay makes movies for slow children by Keeper Of Chimps	May 28th, 2008 01:51:04 PM
I love how some of you self-ass-fuckers cry about Lucas and Spielberg but thnk Michael Bay "kicks ass".It makes me think that you collected He-Man instead of Star Wars figures and had your parents take you to Ernest Goes To Camp twice.
Do you think they'll play the Beach Boys at the start? by Keeper Of Chimps	May 28th, 2008 01:52:39 PM
Oh wait, that was Herbie: Fully Loaded. Which one was Bernie Mack in. God, they're like the same fucking movie!
LastCleric wins the fucking idiot award!!!!! by IndustryKiller!	May 28th, 2008 02:08:01 PM
Let's revisit his momentous remarks shall we folks?? "I enjoyed Transformers for what it was and I will remind you that not everything needs to possess the artistic merit of There Will Be Blood or No Country for Old Men. There are different kinds of films and my expectations for those different genres are varied. I didn't walk into Indy 4 expecting the same experience I received from watching The Assassination of Jesse James.(Although in retrospect Indy is a hell of a lot more fun) Transformers is based on a cartoon that was in turn nothing more than a daily, 30 minute toy commercial. All I wanted to see was realistic-looking robots thrashing the crap out of each other, which is precisely what I got." Wow that was really something else. Three bullshit remarks in one post let's give him a hand. For our audience at home let's point them out. Bullshit argument #1 is that "it doesn't need to be "There Will be Blood" to be good". Watch his technique in misrepresenting the points of views of others, amazing! Bullshit argument #2 is "It's based on a cartoon!" and bullshit argument #3 is "It had giant robots exploding and that's all it needed!" Oh and bonus points for totally missing the point of the entire Indiana Jones franchise. Alright LastCleric congratulations and for your ventures into stupidity you get free tickets to opening night of Don't Mess With the Zohan, I'm sure you'll have a great time. Well that's it for tonight folks we'll see you next time! Goodnight!
Transformers doesn't deserve the hate by BigTuna	May 28th, 2008 02:31:20 PM
It was a great popcorn movie with the best special effects i've ever seen. Bay also stays away from some of his annoying "Bayisms" like having women portrayed as raving, crying loons.
You guys are totally boring the by Flying Spaghetti Monster	May 28th, 2008 02:49:14 PM
shit outta me
We'll follow you Sam! by bobjustbob	May 28th, 2008 03:00:40 PM
"Oh, wait. Your stride is 3 feet. My stride is TWO FUCKING CITY BLOCKS!" I hate it when stupid two-story robots seem to run as slow as a 6-foot meatbag. And when teeny bikes can catch up to sexy muscle cars.
Maybe his heart will explode while he's on the toilet by Gozu	May 28th, 2008 03:00:53 PM
Like his old pal Don Simpson. WAH WAH!
What's the deal with Soundwave? by uppercanuck	May 28th, 2008 03:18:48 PM
Has anyone heard what they're planning for his design? The only thing I've read is that he's (perhaps) going to be in this one.
Proman1984 and Penetron by the podosphere	May 28th, 2008 03:30:46 PM
Such bile, such oozing jealousy. I guess Mr. Wilson is now a success.
IndustryKiller wins the pretentious douchebag award by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 03:35:20 PM
for his entire bullshit rant. What, exactly did you expect from Transformers that you claim it didn't deliver?
bobjustbob by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 03:38:46 PM
Hmm, so technologically advanced giant alien robots can't slow down and stay behind a slower human order to cover him? Also, the robots weren't that big. They were about the same size as King Kong, who didn't have a stride of "TWO FUCKING CITY BLOCKS". Think before you post, people!
Shake-N-Bay(ke): Michael Bay Filmmaking 101 by EriamJH	May 28th, 2008 03:39:16 PM
(1) Take a high-def camera, but push for high-contrast grain. (2) Break the zoom control to indiscriminately vary its wide-to-zoom function. (3) Strap camera to an over-caffeinated, epileptic, bouncing kangaroo. (Note: Camera does NOT have to be tightly mounted.) (4) Film whatever in PATENTED "Shake-N-Bay(ke)" (TM, ®, ©) shaky cam style. (5) Edit video so that there are no establishing location shots, no re-occurring framework for scene identity, and cannot last longer than 2.5 seconds per edited cut. (6) Set to "edgy" music. Any Aerosmith will do. (7) Release to massive hordes of A.D.D. kids with sugar I.V.s inserted in veins. (8) Cash checks. IT'S THAT EASY, KIDS!!!
If Transformers had been directed by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 03:41:08 PM
by anyone except for Michael Bay, and turned out exactly the same, I guarantee that there wouldn't have been as many haters.
If it's that easy, EriamJH by seagrass	May 28th, 2008 03:42:00 PM
then you fucking do it.
DAMN YOU BUSTED TEE'S GIRL!!! by screamster101	May 28th, 2008 03:44:35 PM
How am I supposed to leave the office with a raging hardone?!?!?! I am suing Busted T's.
Ok, so I exaggerated to make a point. by bobjustbob	May 28th, 2008 03:45:02 PM
Not 2 city blocks. But a stride much larger that a 6-foot meatbag. "Ok. I'll slow down. You run 50 steps and then I'll take 1. But it will look like I'm running full-out." Think before you post, people!

Talkbacks

Dwight Schrute vs. Decepticons?