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Massawyrm And The Review Of THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL!!

First by Flaggg	May 20th, 2008 10:00:10 AM
Yar.
That pic is scary. by erichaislar	May 20th, 2008 10:02:04 AM
And awesome glad you liked then film.
Second by ZoeFan	May 20th, 2008 10:02:24 AM
WOW..second
Massawyrm is the best reviewer by Mistar Muffin	May 20th, 2008 10:06:42 AM
Organized, articulate, and I usually agree with him! Thanks, Wyrm!
That pic is kind of distasteful by Bobo_Vision	May 20th, 2008 10:06:51 AM
Especially since Harry is about to undergo surgery.
Mass, I venture to say you misread the scene... by slone13	May 20th, 2008 10:09:12 AM
...where Mutt is holding Indy's hat. As soon as Indy grabs it back from Mutt, it's quite obvious Spielberg was like "Ha! You didn't REALLY think we were gonna pass that torch, do you? Suckers!" The smile on Indy's face alone says it. It's a total "Not a chance" smirk.
great review by Kingdaddy	May 20th, 2008 10:09:14 AM
you and Quint nailed your thoughts on the flick without 72 paragraphs of rhetoric. good job!
And this site just... by Sailor Rip	May 20th, 2008 10:09:43 AM
...screams good taste.
Puny man-animals. by Christopher3	May 20th, 2008 10:12:25 AM
Aliens are religious.
its not good taste... by doodah	May 20th, 2008 10:12:29 AM
but its artsy, so its ok. like the miley cyrus pics. ;)
God I want to titty fuck that Busted Tees chick so bad by donwillymo	May 20th, 2008 10:13:42 AM

crucify me all you want, talkbackers... by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet	May 20th, 2008 10:14:08 AM
but i appreciate the Shia non-hate from Massa. he isn't the reason Transformers wasn't your wet dream. give the kid a break. any one of us would kill to have his career, his bank account, and one page of his phone book. i'm sure he's no Indy, but i bet he makes a good Indy's son.
...oh yeah and IJ4 should be cool, damn those BT tits! by donwillymo	May 20th, 2008 10:14:36 AM

donwillymo by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet	May 20th, 2008 10:15:53 AM
she is waaaaaay distracting.
great review Massawyrm by teddy_duchamp	May 20th, 2008 10:16:30 AM
I'm now looking forward to this movie even more... and thats all it is, just a movie..... 2hrs entertainment and escapism..........yeah right! Indianaaaaaaa!
NICE by BurgerTime	May 20th, 2008 10:16:36 AM
Got the essence of what it's like to experience the movie without all the spoilers. I'm going.
and despite the trailers... by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet	May 20th, 2008 10:17:20 AM
all you AICN dorks have me wanting to see Indy 4. that and cable running the other three 24 hours a day for the past month.
Shia=Furlong+Culkin(divided by) River Phoenix by donwillymo	May 20th, 2008 10:19:04 AM

DAMN YOU, George Lucas! by Motoko Kusanagi	May 20th, 2008 10:19:59 AM
Damn you to hell!
'indiana jones and the' Raiders of the lost ark by teddy_duchamp	May 20th, 2008 10:20:55 AM
I totally agree with your comment on Raiders being its own thing, I mean, why the fuck did fat neck have to change the fucking film title....sheeesh.
Chronicles of Riddick: Pitch Black by David Cloverfield	May 20th, 2008 10:24:51 AM
"Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the lost ark" started a trend.
Raiders title change. by erichaislar	May 20th, 2008 10:25:42 AM
It's only on the box art. Its still called raiders in the film.
Good review Massa.. by Jonah Echo	May 20th, 2008 10:26:43 AM
Makes me almost forget the No Country for Old Men review.
Good review Massa.. by Jonah Echo	May 20th, 2008 10:26:44 AM
Makes me almost forget the No Country for Old Men review.
that wasn't a review by kungfuhustler84	May 20th, 2008 10:27:30 AM
yes, you said you liked it, but then you spent most of the time telling us to go easy on Shia, and what we will be arguing about over the summer. I personally am not really borthered that much by Shia. I was when I first found out but I'm just ready for Indy now. And as far as arguing about the story, plausibility doesn't really mean it goes along with the standards of archaeology set by the earlier films. But again, I don't really care. I am ready for Indy.
Will Harry post his Prince Caspian review after surgery? by Sith Witch	May 20th, 2008 10:29:39 AM
Please?
The only change from this movie by Jor-El23	May 20th, 2008 10:31:51 AM
to the others, is the move from religious to alien artifact. Sure it's a big leap but everything they're talking about is fantasy in one way or another. What are the standard tropes of 50s cinema and TV? Commies, aliens, commies as aliens...it makes sense that this is where Indy goes, as a matinee hero.
I wish they had made Indy movies in the '90's by Beezbo	May 20th, 2008 10:36:24 AM
Instead of Lucas obsessing about Darth Vader's childhood and make-believe space politics.
Massi said it's fucking awesome by Abominable Snowcone	May 20th, 2008 10:37:08 AM
Works for me. And you're right--when you're a 21 year old kid and Spielberg asks you to be in a movie, you do it. You'd think Shia would do it simply because it's Indy Jones, but hey--he wasn't born when the first two movies were relased, and he was still pooping his diapees when Crusade came out. From Shia's point of view, it almost doesn't matter. It's Spielberg, you do it.
That was a fantastic read I have to say... by TheBoyFromUlster	May 20th, 2008 10:38:41 AM
Ok, so not a review per se, but a balanced argument about the film. You nailed it on the head as well Massawyrm about making sequels to classic films and forcing elements that you associate with the original into the story. Also Shia leBeouf, what’s he going to say??.."Sorry Steve, but I'm not holding Indys hat, I might get slated by some nerds on t'internet, so no can do beardy!'...Wish you would write more reviews Massawyrm.
Only two days left... by DocPazuzu	May 20th, 2008 10:46:50 AM
...must not... read... any reviews... on AICN.... Must not.... read.... talkbacks... ooooooouuuurrrggghh.... brain hurts....
You still write for this site? by YackBacker	May 20th, 2008 10:53:17 AM
Kudos on dragging out that avatar today, you silly bastard.
I just wish by tomdolan04	May 20th, 2008 11:01:16 AM
they hadn't used so much CG. I LOVE location work and it's death with blue/green screen is a real sad time for cinema. George Lucas' enthusiasm for CG work is well known, and Joel Silver in an interview for Speed Racer on darkhorizons remarked something along the lines of 'the intense heat and problems on filming the new Bond flick - ha if only they'd used bluescreen those muppets'. Its ridiculous. Sure its trickier but the results so much more worthwhile - you can 'feel' the actor reacting against the environment.
I have never had a problem with Shia by Razorback	May 20th, 2008 11:03:58 AM
I think he is a great actor and I have yet to see him do anything I did not like, at least performance wise. I don't think people hate him as much as the AICN writers seem to think they do.
what about the terrible CGI? by Jugdish	May 20th, 2008 11:07:19 AM
no word on that?
Is it a requirement? by Rei-Ginsei	May 20th, 2008 11:12:33 AM
I think every single review I've read for Indy 4 included the phrase "Raiders was lightning in a bottle" in some form.
How is anything in Raiders better than in Last Crusade? by Sith Witch	May 20th, 2008 11:21:39 AM
Sure there's a few more gags, but overall I think the story and the themes of father and son far outweigh anything in Raiders. And let's face it; Elsa was the hottest Indy girl by far.
whew by Olsen Twins_Fan	May 20th, 2008 11:25:39 AM
Harry's review was so ridiculous, I was worried that this movie would be terrible. Plus, you can't trust a reviewer who is 24 hrs. away from major surgery. Way too emotionally vulnerable. Massa, for the most part, is trustworthy.
title change by Bouncy X	May 20th, 2008 11:25:43 AM
its interesting how they added "indiana jones and.." on the Raiders dvd covers but in the movie itself, it still has the original title. i mean George went through the trouble of adding 'episode 4" to star wars so i wonder why he didnt this time if he's really trying to change it.
Jugdish by slone13	May 20th, 2008 11:31:32 AM
There isn't any terrible CGI. Probably why no one has been mentioning it. In ANY of the reviews.
Sith Witch by Mako	May 20th, 2008 11:33:56 AM
The first 10 minutes in RAIDERS was better than the whole 120 minutes of CRUSADE. "Throw me the idol... I throw you the whip!" "Once again Dr. Jones... there is nothing you can possess that I can not take away. You chose the wrong friends. This time it will cost you"
80% fresh at the Tomatometer by drompter	May 20th, 2008 11:36:36 AM
With a total of 61 reviews. I'll be there.
Why do people hate Shia? by danowen	May 20th, 2008 11:37:56 AM
Is it only AICNers that hate him? I don't see why? He was good on that old TV show, he was good in Holes, he was really good in Transformers (considering the gig), good in Disturbia. A likeable, ordinary, charismatic kidult. I truly think hatred here stems from silly things like his weird name and a bit of jealously. Most Indy4 reviews I read sing his praises as the best thing after Ford himself in this. I really don't get the hatred, so maybe this will help redress the balance a bit.
Nosferatu... by ThomasServo	May 20th, 2008 11:37:58 AM
Yeah, I agree the Shia hate all boils down to the DiCaprio effect. Girls dig him so the nerds in the audience automatically hate him. Dude seems cool to me, and he was cracking me up on SNL.
Sith Witch, by I Dunno	May 20th, 2008 11:45:02 AM
Raiders was serious...within its own context of course. Indy was a bad ass. He didn't make goofy faces as he fell down a flight of stairs. He didn't trip over shit and play a Scottish artist. The tank battle in Last Crusade was admittedly immpressive. I've only recently noticed that. But Last Crusade had some goofy, slapstick shit in it. You call out the monkey in Raiders and some other things but nothing as silly as some of the shit in Crusade. And Villains? Someone, maybe Ebert said that a James Bond movie is only as good as its vilains. I'd compare Indy to Bond in many ways. So lets see...Belloq vs Elsa. Donovan vs Toht and the lead Nazi (Dietrich?). The climaxes between the two movies? Do you really want to compare them? Raiders makes Crusade look like a joke.
Aliens + Spielberg = Goodness by Azby	May 20th, 2008 11:45:07 AM
I never understood the alien hate. Spielberg has made some of the best alien related movies ever. And the Nazca Lines are pure Indy material. Great review.
Massa is a MUCH better writer than Moriarty by Alan_Moore	May 20th, 2008 11:45:40 AM
Moriarty wasted 1,040 words (yes, I ran a count) before getting around to his impression of the film. I'm so sick of that bullshit on this site. Harry is certainly guilty, but I think Moriarty has grown even worse. Moriarty, no one cares about the backstory and your personal history with the filmmakers! All that isn't necessary in order to provide context. And we certainly don't need to hear about what impressions the films you review are leaving on your son. Just tell us whether you liked the damn thing or not! Is that really so hard?
Shia does just fine by Disgustipitated	May 20th, 2008 11:46:01 AM
I don't get the baseless Shia bashing that goes on. I've only seen the guy in a couple of things, but I've yet to see anything where he didn't do a great job.
Snake Eyes pics... by clone-o-mat	May 20th, 2008 11:51:12 AM
here...! http://tinyurl.com/5khlvq LOL! You guys are ska-rewed!!
Title change by Zath_ras	May 20th, 2008 11:52:10 AM
was strictly so the first film could appear alongside the others in your local Blockbuster store without some clerk moving it onto the "R" shelf. Strictly for marketing and filmographic purposes, hence the title remains the same on film.
Religious artifacts by I Dunno	May 20th, 2008 11:52:30 AM
I think the problem there is that all the Indy rip offs have already done stories about all the significant religious artifacts. The Spear of Destiny for instance, would have been cool but that show with that fag from ER already did it. So I have no problem with Indy going after anything that will give him either "fortune and glory" or anything that "belongs in a museum". As for changing the title to Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, INDIANA JONES WAS ONE OF THE RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK! Yes, he was the "good guy" but he was still after it and how much more pure were his (or rather the US government) intentions towards it?
But what does Merrick's son think? by MattmanReturns	May 20th, 2008 11:54:53 AM

I'm glad Massa has Shia's back. by AdrianVeidt	May 20th, 2008 11:55:43 AM
Shia has done absolutely NOTHING wrong in his career, and he's a great actor. It's not his fault that b/c of his talent, the media loads all this pressure on him by saying he'll be the next Tom Hanks or the next Dustin Hoffman. Sure, he might be, but for Christ's sake, let him do it on his own. Moreover, everyone needs to give him a break because he is a good actor and he has entertained us in every film he's been in. Haters like to hate on people that are popular, especially when it's fast and rapid popularity. If he were a talentless hack, I'd join the haters, but the fact is that he is quickly becoming someone who I REALLY look forward to seeing in a movie.
Indiana Jones and the Magic 8 Ball by Bobo_Vision	May 20th, 2008 11:56:13 AM
"All signs point to yes."
Wow Mass, your sig image redefines gastric bypass... by Kampbell-Kid	May 20th, 2008 12:12:44 PM
Going to the midnight showing tomorrow night with some friends who are in their 30's and grew up with these films also. It's going to be great. Indy. Beer. and Joygasms.
It aint no Raiders? Thats the problem by romanocc	May 20th, 2008 12:18:55 PM
I agree that sequels rarely live up to the original, but are the state of movies to the point where nobody is even trying to put out the best movie possible anymore? Sequels are sequels, all of them we love, hate, or think they are OK, but the characters draw us in everytime, but now people accept OK sequels! You have to give James Cameron credit, he atleast tried to equal the originals of Terminator and Alien, and succeeded with Aliens, and came pretty well close with T2. Nowadays fans like me are chastised for wanting something great, and only cause we are older we are too hard on films now. The Matrix was original, and fresh, and was a great movie, and I wasn't a kid when that came out, I was 27 years old! I don't begrudge anyone if they enjoy this movie, but I go to the movies to see something great, and when the first sentence in a review is, "Well, it aint no Raiders, well, aint no Empire, well, it aint no...." Well, I will wait for The Dark Knight in July, as Nolan is TRYING to make a better movie then Begins, and hopefully those reviews will start, "It aint no Begins, its better!"
by WaitingforAvengers	May 20th, 2008 12:20:22 PM
0% chance of this being bad, I'm pretty jazzed :)
Not much of a review... by buffywrestling	May 20th, 2008 12:27:41 PM
But my favorite write up yet. Way to be, Massa.
romanocc by TheLastCleric	May 20th, 2008 12:33:23 PM
I don't think your standards are higher than ours and I really don't think the Matrix is the best film to call out as an example of freshness considering it aped almost everything from other, superior sources. Indy 4 is the fourth movie in a pretty great film franchise so either you can hang with that or you can't. Not everybody considers Raiders the best film (and some people just love them all and don't worry about rankings) but I'm willing to bet Indy 4 will be a pretty great flick.
the Shia hate is all down to jealousy.... by Gabba-UK	May 20th, 2008 12:33:28 PM
pure and simple. Don't pretend its otherwise, you only look like an idiot!!!
Massawyrm, if your Shia comment about... by Ohiofile	May 20th, 2008 12:38:37 PM
holding the hat and staring into the sunset is the last image in the film and you gave it away without a spoiler warning around your article, I'm going to punch you square in the face with a Mutt Williams and the Secret of the Last Frame knuckle sandwich.
The Last Cleric by romanocc	May 20th, 2008 12:44:14 PM
I don't want anyone to think I am thumbing my nose that my opinion is right and I know movie quality, etc. I just feel that Hollywood is out of ideas, and of course this will be entertaining, but is there any originality anymore, or are we going to rely on Diehard 4, Rocky VI, Rambo 4, and now Indy 4? I grew up with all these franchises, love the originals, and the sequels to all these were good, but there is reason these movie series got tired and didn't produce films for 15-20 years each. I want these guys to TRY to put out something that knocks our socks out, rather then something entertaining and safe. I love that Spock dies in Wrath of Khan, I love in Empire the good guys get their asses kicked and Darth Vader turns out to be Lukes father, I love that Rocky loses at the end of the original. Those movies didn't paint by numbers, they tried to do something different, and that is why they sorta stand out 20 years later.
Lightning in a bottle by MetiphisLabs	May 20th, 2008 12:45:27 PM
EVERY review in the past month has used this term. Lets break out a thesaurus people.
stone 13 - check out Garth's review at Darkhorizons by Jugdish	May 20th, 2008 12:49:26 PM
his pretty legit about his reviews
clone-o-mat - JAYSUS FUCK! by Mosquito March	May 20th, 2008 12:50:30 PM
I was holding out hope for GI JOE, but those Snake Eyes photos are abominable and I can't defend it anymore. The first shot looks like gay TMNT jack-off porn. And I love the shot of Scarlett mowing down on that falafel, or whatever the fuck she's eating.
I don't look at them as religious artifacts by kwisatzhaderach	May 20th, 2008 12:52:01 PM
but as mythological artifacts, religion is just another form of mythology. So the alien angle makes perfect sense really. Besides, it would have been pretty boring if Jones had been after another religious artifact, the alien angle juices things up a bit, not to mention ties into the sci-fi B-movie craze of the 50s. Oh and Sith Witch, WTF are you talking about?!
Let's get a TIME-PILOT MOVIE based on the game. by joeelliott	May 20th, 2008 12:56:25 PM
Where you blast your way from century to century an even kill those who fly the same ships as you
Aliens by Abominable Snowcone	May 20th, 2008 01:06:04 PM
it's okay to say it, Wyrm, everyone hear knows that this movie deals more with the extraterrestrial than the theo-spiritual / supernatural. Good review though, I was able to read it and know what you felt about it without worrying much about, "Oh shit, he's gonna drop a spoiler." See, that's how you write up an event movie like this. You discuss and analyze the elements, not give a plot synopsis. Kudos
I Dunno... by Sith Witch	May 20th, 2008 01:09:20 PM
All I can say is, my eyes tear up every time I see the climax of Crusade, and while I enjoy the one in Raiders, it certainly doesn't make me feel emotion as strongly as that. It's the combination of music, the father-son dynamic ("Let it go Indiana..."), and the mystery of the Grail that chokes me up every time. And I know different people have different reactions, but I still think Elsa is one of the best villains ever because she's just SO drop-dead beautiful yet SUCH a bitch!
romanocc by TheLastCleric	May 20th, 2008 01:09:49 PM
I think you have to look at these films case by case. Rocky Balboa was a great movie and technically, he lost at the end of that film too. I also think Rambo was an excellent coda to the franchise, especially the ending that had Rambo on the road headed towards home, which I assume was his destination in the first film. Die Hard 4 is a different story however, as it could have been so much more but they sold out to make money. The unrated version is certainly a better film but I agree it's the weakest of the franchise. As for Indy 4, I think bringing back Indy at age 65 is a pretty bold move despite the great shape Ford's in. That said, there are certain things we expect in an Indy film so I don't think this is the right movie to look for radical innovation. You could get ballsy and kill Indy or Marion but I can't honestly say that's a film I'd want to see. I understand what you're saying and in theory agree, I just don't think it applies to the Indy franchise.
Mosquito March by clone-o-mat	May 20th, 2008 01:11:08 PM
I can't belive a professional costume designer LITERALLY carved a mouth into a ruber helmet based on a painting that was only meant to show Snake Eyes was wearing a tight mask. http://tinyurl.com/645opo Real JV move there.
Garth's Review by Mako	May 20th, 2008 01:11:40 PM
He normally is spot on... but the one thing I do 100% disagree with him (and that I think he didn't get) was that the quicksand scene has a lot more resonance than he gives it credit for. Considering it has some of the best comedic moments in the movie and also contains one of the bigger revelations in the film. Which is why it's great. Why not reveal a big twist in the middle of a "we're going to die" moment.
romanocc by erichaislar	May 20th, 2008 01:15:42 PM
I think T2 is not only better then the original but i use to compare all other action films too. T2 set the bar for me and there really has not been too much that has ever topped it. I am in no way dissing you i was just wondering What where your problems with it?
UNLESS FORD PULLS A DR. WHO REGENERATION... by The Marquis de Side 3	May 20th, 2008 01:22:59 PM
...actualy, no. Harrison Ford shows us you can still kick ass at 60-something! =0p
teddy_duchamp by codymr	May 20th, 2008 01:44:58 PM
I read somewhere that the only reason ROTLA was changed to "Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark" was due to Lucasfilm/Paramount wanting all of the Indy films to appear in section "I" of your local video store. That way impulse movie renters/purchasers could pick them up in one fell swoop. For that matter, people new to the series would never be "confused" as to whether IJATROTLA was an Indy film or not... Kind of like A Shot in the Dark being part of the "Pink Panter" series. Altough to me it will always be just Raiders... period.
Taun Taun Harry! by thebearovingian	May 20th, 2008 01:48:37 PM
Love it. Massa, you know what's as cliche as "It's no Raiders..."? : "Raiders was lightning in a bottle." How many reviews does that statement pop up in? BOOOOOOOOOOO
Finally this site has an Indiana Jones review by chrth	May 20th, 2008 01:51:57 PM
I didn't think they'd ever post one
Is Wyrm doing the surgery? by PirateEmery	May 20th, 2008 01:58:20 PM
That is a sickening picture to bring back, today of all days... I love it.
Hollywood out of ideas? by tuddlefo	May 20th, 2008 02:12:40 PM
1989 I was ten. The movies I went and saw were Last Crusade and Batman. 19 years later I'm going to see Batman and Indiana Jones again. Has anyone mentioned this?
The Shia hate by MovieWhore	May 20th, 2008 02:13:25 PM
I'm glad we're finally starting to end the Shia Hate on here. Its been goin on too long and I never understood it. He's been great in everything I've seen him in and is a very talented and FUNNY actor. He ad libs like no other and seems to be a genuinely honest and good guy.
chrth by Abominable Snowcone	May 20th, 2008 02:19:04 PM
your subject line mentions Indiana Jones...is there a new movie or something?
Slant magazine review by Azby	May 20th, 2008 02:22:14 PM
From the review "Alas, there's more zip found in Temple of Doom's Shanghai nightclub opening than in this film's entirety..." With all the positive press on this film this is the first line which put me on a downer. I really enjoy that sequence and was hoping this film would give me more of that, just with clunkier dialogue and the odd Lucas slip up. Massawym...thats not true is it?
erichaislar by romanocc	May 20th, 2008 02:22:26 PM
Don't get me wrong, I really like T2, and I think it is a perfect compliment to T1, as the 3rd movie was pretty bad. I really like gritty sci-fi movies, and I think T1 is as gritty as a movie gets, and I think T2 got alittle cheese in the movie, which happens to many sequels. The part where Arnold comes out with the shades and Bad to the Bone plays takes away the grit from the movie, and is more a wink-wink joke to the audience because Arnold was a star at that time. I also think the middle plods along, and I am not a big fan Ed Furlong, as he was a bit annoying. I still love the movie, and I think it is a great sequel, but T2 was much better paced coming in at 1 hour, 45 minutes, I thought Michael Biehn was great as Reese, and Arnold as a pure bad guy is as cool as Darth Vader. Just my take.
Mutt Williams and the Handkerchief of Christ by Abominable Snowcone	May 20th, 2008 02:25:52 PM
It's 1965. Mutt Williams is in college and attending Beatles concerts at Shea Stadium. But now only he can find the legendary shroud of Turin and the remains of Noahs ark before the russians do. Because if he fails, well...then the russians will have it, and Mutt's american museum won't. So there.
erichaislar, part 2 by romanocc	May 20th, 2008 02:29:44 PM
Sorry, I meant T1 is much better paced coming in at 1 hour 45 minutes.
I would trade in... by Prague23	May 20th, 2008 02:31:03 PM
Hook Amistad A.I. Catch Me If You Can The Terminal & War Of The Worlds For a new Indiana Jones film to have been made during the 90s. Could have completed an entire new trilogy by now. Look what we have instead. Bunch-o-crap (see above)
gotham_night by billis3811	May 20th, 2008 02:34:02 PM
Pull your tiny head outta yer fat ass! AICN has great reviews on their site! Why don't you go back to CHUD and read summa their bullshit.
Prague23 by just pillow talk	May 20th, 2008 02:34:38 PM
While I don't think all of those are crap, I would completely agree with you that having Indy films instead of those would have been so much better.
Prague23... by billis3811	May 20th, 2008 02:35:51 PM
Fully agree! how about adding "The Lost World" to that shit list!
No Hate For Shia Here by BilboRing	May 20th, 2008 02:36:26 PM
Weird name but I like him as an actor. He was very good in Transformers, which, as a movie, sucked balls. Terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible movie. But I like Shia. I am seriously looking forward to seeing Harrison Ford back in an iconic role. I honestly forgot just how much ass he kicked. Han Solo, Indiana Jones, Jack Ryan, etc.
TOD>>>>TLC by Prossor	May 20th, 2008 02:38:00 PM
search your feelings. you KNOW it to be true.
gotham_night... by billis3811	May 20th, 2008 02:39:52 PM
You're on a meth binge right now, and it's clouding your already simple thought processs. Go to CHUD. They welcome movie haters over there
It won’t take a break mid movie to step in the back and make you by Brunomac	May 20th, 2008 02:44:07 PM
WTF!!!!
Massawyrm by Brunomac	May 20th, 2008 02:45:05 PM
Roger Ebert you ain't.
Instead of Shia they really needed to have by Brunomac	May 20th, 2008 02:46:39 PM
a grown up, kick-ass martial artist Short Round in his 30's. He should have inherited the mantle, not this annoying flavor of the month Shia.
"no time for the old in-out-in-out doctor Jones... by Brunomac	May 20th, 2008 02:48:15 PM
we gotta get the Crystal Skul.."
I just can't believe the reviewer by Brunomac	May 20th, 2008 02:59:11 PM
used the phrase ..."this movie doesn't take a break and make you a grilled cheese sandwich..." I mean, wha...tha...fa?
unionJACKass.webs.com by erichaislar	May 20th, 2008 03:05:17 PM
Haha i hear you man.
Superman would destroy hulk by THENIPPLESOFGOD	May 20th, 2008 03:30:26 PM
Raiders= Gili TOD= freddy got fingered last crusade= dirty little whores 7. cum on me Take that fan boys
Abom: Apparently ... but you wouldn't know it by chrth	May 20th, 2008 03:38:46 PM
from reading this site
Where is the guy that will not see this movie? by JLo	May 20th, 2008 03:51:15 PM
He was posting here a few months back and claimed he would never see this movie cause he was positive it would suck. I can't remember his name but he vowed to return when the reviews started coming in.
SHIA by tuddlefo	May 20th, 2008 03:52:01 PM
They can bring back Shia for another Indy, but do it in another 10-20 years when hollywood is searching for ideas, and when Harrison absolutely can't don the fedora anymore.
Indy 5 & The Case Of Insane Lucas by Violator90	May 20th, 2008 03:55:09 PM
Seriously. Lucas is thinking of different ways to bring back Jar Jar Binks
Yes this looks like nostalgic fun by skimn	May 20th, 2008 04:02:24 PM
and I'll be there this weekend with (hopefully) a constant big ole grin on my face. It'll be good to see Harrison in a recent film role he doesn't sleepwalk through and nobody frames and edits action better than Spielberg. But from what I've seen of the most recent trailer, the action movie to beat this summer looks to be The Dark Knight. Ledger looks to be scary good, and as the old saying goes the better the villian the better the movie.
Message to Paramount (I know you're out there): by kolchak	May 20th, 2008 04:08:45 PM
Indy film in which Indy takes a back seat to Shia = certain failure. DON'T DO IT.
I'm sold by Nuck81	May 20th, 2008 04:09:43 PM
Especially If Massawyrm liked it, he hates EVERYTHING
Shia was one of the better things about Transformers by stuatfunnyordie	May 20th, 2008 04:23:54 PM
He was funny, especially the interaction between him and his dad...he added a,dare I say, human element to the movie...I for one am looking forward to his performance in Indiana Jones.
Is harry really that fat? by THENIPPLESOFGOD	May 20th, 2008 04:34:57 PM
If so stop watching movies and run in the park for a while you fat slob!
...and the Fortress of Rap by RTDInternational	May 20th, 2008 05:51:02 PM
The Chorus is unforgettable. If you're a geek you gotta represent on this. It speaks to us. From the mouth of THE LORD! Shekitout! http://preview.tinyurl.com/6fj ykb
The three things Spielberg has always done right... by GreatWhiteNoise	May 20th, 2008 05:58:43 PM
1) Archaeologists. 2) Aliens. 3) Nazis. (We'll see how he does with the Commies, but I'm betting pretty well.) And if Massa's on board, I'm on board. One more sleep!! ONE MORE SLEEP!!! Woooooooo hoo hoo hoo hooooooo ----
That probably the sanest review of the new Indy... by FlickaPoo	May 20th, 2008 06:17:27 PM
...I have seen yet...way to cut through the bullshit...
I thought they smelled bad on the outside... by Heretic3k	May 20th, 2008 06:23:48 PM
Great sig, Massa!
messy slop of feces>Last Crusade by Prossor	May 20th, 2008 06:30:37 PM

Always get Lawrence Kasdan... by Gnasche	May 20th, 2008 06:39:21 PM
when doing an action/adventure story. He has a great knack for character development in quick moments. It seems like every one of his characters get a "cool" moment at some point, generating empathy and investment from the audience. Empire, Jedi, Silverado, Raiders. He should be hired for every one of Lucas' projects.
what the hell? by Bouncy X	May 20th, 2008 07:06:36 PM
so all day long this article was "spoiler free" and now i check tonight and it has the spoiler tag? i read the thing, where the hell are there spoilers? i mean he barely talks about the movie itself. and on the same note, why is Harry's post about his surgery spoiler tagged?
Sanke Eyes by bswise	May 20th, 2008 07:52:56 PM
Love those rubber love-handles.
Alienism by Mockingbuddha	May 20th, 2008 08:19:21 PM
Tens of thousands of people (look it up) believing in something for which there is NO evidence outside their own subjective experiences? Alienism IS a religion, so Massa's summer argument is moot. Re: The other argument, the Shia one: I don't like him. Short, skinny, goofy, schticky. He'll end up as a Rom-com lead, or, at best, Will Smith, (tall, skinny, goofy, schticky).
Don't knock Shia by ddschneider1972	May 20th, 2008 10:24:44 PM
Shia did a damn fine job, one of the best parts of the movie (the best being the way too few and too short scenes of Indy and Marion verbally sparring)...but next time Lucas says he has a great idea, punch him. OK, it's not a horrible McGuffin...but the execution of the climax was a "huh?" moment...not a "what the Fuck were they thinking" moment, that involved the monkeys and Shia LaTarzan. Not awe inspiring like the Wrath of God, not tense like the battle on the rope bridge, not touching like Indy saving his dad..but literally a whiz-bang "look at what my SFX company can do!" finale...other than that it rocked.
Indiana Jones and the Three Musketeers by CuervoJones	May 21st, 2008 03:13:53 AM

Is that the picture.. by hamo455	May 21st, 2008 03:16:09 AM
..of Harry's lap band op?
Watched this last night... by Ecto-1	May 21st, 2008 06:20:50 AM
Y'know, considering it's been 19 years since The Last Crusade, I think they would have been better relaunching this franchise with a new actor in the role of Indy. From seeing the trailers to watching this one last night, it was painfully obvious that Ford is just too old for this shit. Plus, I didn't want to see an old Indy. I wanted to see Indy in his prime, kickin' ass and not staggering around like an old fool. So yea, going into this I wasn't really too excited. I love Raiders and I even like Temple of Doom a lot. Except for the stupid Willie Scott character which was a major come down from Marrion, and Short Round was annoying as hell. Plus they ramped up the humour in Doom which was pretty stupid. I think that with each sequel Lucas and Speilberg have wanted to make this franchise more and more for kids, dumbing it down with each new film. The edge and darkness that there was in Raiders, and to a degree in Doom was gone from Crusade and is likewise non existent in Crystal Skull. It's a shame that these two film makers have gotten so soft in their old age. I'm really hoping that we don't get any more Indy movies from Lucas and Speilberg as Crystal Skull was just so silly and goofy it was almost farsical at times. They'd probably have Indy singing and dancing in the next one.
Do you think we can have some spoiler tags on this site for a ch by the_scream	May 21st, 2008 07:58:54 AM
I'm sick of reading reviews here and getting spoiled. If you want to have an opinion on something spoilerish, WAIT UNTIL EVERYONE HAS HAD A CHANCE TO SEE IT FIRST or use spoiler tags, no matter how small the spoiler you think it is.
I'm referring to the comments about Shia by the_scream	May 21st, 2008 08:01:10 AM
BTW. Now everyone who has read this review will be looking for this moment. It's inconsiderate to drop in details like this without warning.
Ecto-1 by slone13	May 21st, 2008 09:44:06 AM
You're an idiot. "...with each sequel Lucas and Speilberg have wanted to make this franchise more and more for kids." Temple of Doom is way darker than Raiders ever was. It's the reason the MPAA launched the PG-13 rating. And the fact that you suggested they relaunch the series with someone else playing Indy renders your opinions on anything entirely moot. Good day.
Lucas replaced the "Truck off the Cliff" Scene in RAIDERS. by NoDiggity	May 21st, 2008 10:54:58 AM
This really kinda bums me out. The original had a more immediate sense of the depth of the plunge from the first frame, and the cliff itself looked more majestic. Why can't Lucas just leave well enough alone? http://tinyurl.com/4ec8t5 OR (remove the spaces inserted by AICN) http://www.lucasforums.com/sho wthread.php?s=&threadid=18 8856
Lucas replaced the Truck Off the Cliff scene in RAIDERS by NoDiggity	May 21st, 2008 10:56:40 AM
This really kinda bums me out. The original had a more immediate sense of the depth of the plunge from the first frame, and the cliff itself looked more majestic. Why can't Lucas just leave well enough alone? http://tinyurl.com/4ec8t5
NoDiggity by slone13	May 21st, 2008 11:02:00 AM
I think the new shot looks better. This is hardly like Spielberg changing the guns in the FBI agents hands into walkie talkies in E.T.
I don't think it looks better, slone. by NoDiggity	May 21st, 2008 11:10:04 AM
Dramatically, the first frame of the old one immediately gave you a sense of the depth of the plunge. And the cliffs are more elegant in the old one. The new cliffs are all jagged and bulgy, like they were created by a sculptor lathering on globs of clay, rather than referring to natural formations. Plus, the background mountains are too bright, it distracts from the focus on the foreground.
Saw this last night by apaulyo	May 21st, 2008 11:13:12 AM
And it was great... they throw alot of stuff out there for fans of old... btw when it gets to the ants... all i can say is fun.
1 thing to have made it better by apaulyo	May 21st, 2008 11:25:17 AM
They could have used alot more whip action in the new movie.
Hype by cryptmagic	May 21st, 2008 11:28:53 AM
When you hype Shia, so much as to be the replacement for harrison ford, it bothers people. I mean boy meets world was a joke, and in transformers i walked out of the movie. Oh yeah he had some side roll in IRobot, but otherwise Shia is nothing. He is being hyped by spielberg, as being perfect and a great actor. He is getting gigs, because of spielbergs clout, not because he is actually a good actor. I wouldn't mind to have someone who is very highly respected hoisting me above the crowd and singing my priase. Some people say nerds dont like, but its more widespread. I have regular friends and when i mention his name and how he is replacing ford, they get angry. He has doen nothing in his life to stack up to harrison ford.
There is no Shia hate...there is only Jonah hate... by Darth Macchio	May 21st, 2008 11:58:26 AM
Seriously...I've seen LaBeef...you've seen LaBeef...he's not the same as a shattered glass dildo. But Jonah Hill? Fucking subversive mutant-hybrid intent on stealing all Earth women for their home planet of Jewfropia?
Nobody ever told me but since we're here.. by Darth Macchio	May 21st, 2008 12:06:03 PM
...I presume the whip is actually real and not a CGI-abomination? Remember long ago prior to the Shia shit-hate-fests beginning that Lucas (who may or may not be the first fully CGI created human) was insisting on shitting all over Indy by using a fucking CGI whip? I look forward to anything Indy even with Lucas at the helm but I can't say I'm thrilled (much less surprised) with the apparent obsessive use of CGI. Lucas should just TRON himself and then we won't have to see another poor talented actor miming shit in front of a non-existent environment in a blue screen to non-existing film elements because fatmanbearpig won't work where there's no fucking air-conditioning (jesus dude...get a fucking astronaut suit already! built-in a/c AND a toilet! think of the fun, Lucas! THINK!!!)
The whip is real but... by apaulyo	May 21st, 2008 12:09:54 PM
the big climax towards the end is heavy heavy CGI just as a warning.
Holy shit by kwisatzhaderach	May 21st, 2008 12:23:45 PM
There's a new Indiana Jones film opening tomorrow.
Saucer men by apaulyo	May 21st, 2008 12:26:48 PM
They do make a reference to saucer men from mars though I think I was the only person who laughed at that in the theater.
Anytime M-O-M by Massawyrm 1	May 21st, 2008 03:03:56 PM
I never tire of your endless, unwarranted screed. It's guys like you who remind me daily why I do this.
The least you can do Massa by the_scream	May 21st, 2008 05:12:23 PM
IS PUT SPOILER TAGS IN YOUR REVIEW. Otherwise, it is a good review.
My eyes are bleeding already at the thought of Shia LaJones by ShiaLaDouche	May 21st, 2008 05:25:04 PM
I will toil the rest of my life away in hopes of creating a time machine so that I can find the laboratory of hell Shia was created in and I'll do this world a huge favor.
crypmagic, Shia was never in Boy Meets World by DreamKeeper	May 21st, 2008 05:49:33 PM
that was Ben Savage. Shia is a much better actor that Fred Savage's little brother.
M-O-M continued by blazeoflglory	May 21st, 2008 07:02:29 PM
You are a fucking idiot
M-O-M again by blazeoflglory	May 21st, 2008 07:06:27 PM
Clearly you have a grudge against somebody. Did someone moleste you as a child? It's okay, their are psychiatrist's for that sort of thing.
the reviews on this site aregetting worse... by themagus	May 21st, 2008 09:56:33 PM

Lucas, leave RAIDERS alone, you CUNT! by Laserbrain	May 21st, 2008 11:07:31 PM
Oh, it starts with one "improvement" to a matte shot (which was an effective and ingenious piece of artistry in its day and ought to be retained out of respect to it's creators) then, before you know it, we'll be subjected to a 3-D converted version jazzed up with ostentatious CGI flyovers of the truck scene to replace the "antiquated" and "static" 2-D locked imagery of the original. I want my hi-def Raiders un-molested, you prick. I LIKE matte paintings, I LIKE the brushstrokes, I LIKE CHARACTER in my movies; as antithetical to your specious creative mantra as that preference may seem. Fuck you, you fish-necked waste of space.
he is more neck now, than man... by david-reynolds	May 22nd, 2008 05:10:24 AM
Im pretty sure the idea of a 'hero adventure' like this is that at some stage the hero is, well, heroic. Raiders - he is the ultimate badass that goes in and saves the girl. Doom - he battles the eeevil cultists to rescue an entire town whilst protecting woman and child. Crusade - by his faith, brains and courage he saves his ol' pa and preserves the grail etc etc. And now in KOTCS - uuum, he is along for the ride? Aah but we have mutt and marion who... oh yeah, they do nothing either, except play at tarzan. Well at least we are on the edge of our seats the whole time right? Well we would be if this movie a) didn't have the worst case of 'stormtrooper syndrome' this decade and b) didn't have the most implausible stunts EVER. It all starts with the goddam fridge - no human could EVER survive that, so now we are set to thinking, CAN this guy get hurt? and all our fears for his wellbeing melt away. This is only compounded with the waterfall rubbish and the jumping of a vehicle off a cliff into a bendy tree. What about a truck full of crack rusky troops with automatic rifles, in an elevated position, aiming at a chick in an open topped vehicle around 20 feet away. Don't be ridiculous - you can't hit her! she 'ducked'. I mean seriously! How are we supposed to give a damn about the characters if we are led to believe they can survive ANYTHING! We were told this wasn't going to go the way of the Star Wars prequels. Very little CGI they said. Traditional stuntwork they said. I say bollocks - the CG in this movie was little short of gratuitous - the stunts totally OTT and CG'd - and Third act heroism stank. If you are going to call a movie 'Indiana Jones and the whatever .....' you had better make damn sure it is about INDY. If this lonely man has just discovered he has an ONLY SON - you would have thought that was a pretty big event in his life over the span of the movie. Surely that is what the film is about? Finding a relationship with a young man after years of... No? Really? It's not about Indy and his son? Oh, there is something better - a more poignant message this movie has to tell? More important than Indy's own son with the love of his life... Hold on, you mean ALIENS??!?! There is one thing that could have saved this movie for me. Indy enters the temple at the end, opens the door to the chamber of the aliens, the stone rolls back, the smoke clears... a small glowing light appears in the darkness... "ouuuuch..."
saw id4 last nite midnite and 'meh' not great... by donwillymo	May 22nd, 2008 07:34:36 AM

the aliens thing was over the top and unecessary by donwillymo	May 22nd, 2008 07:35:09 AM

TOO MUCH CG...CG DOESN'T BELONG IN INDIE MOVIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by donwillymo	May 22nd, 2008 07:36:04 AM

LOL Massy.... by just pillow talk	May 22nd, 2008 07:38:15 AM
Be sure to hear how M-O-M tells you what is and is not a good movie, why your opinion is wrong, and how is is never, ever condescending.
he is = is is by just pillow talk	May 22nd, 2008 07:39:14 AM

What's to hate about Shia? by u.k. star	May 22nd, 2008 01:05:15 PM
seriously, I don't get it? He's not a bad actor, in fact he's a very good one. Love or hate Transformers he was good in it, and he was good in Indy. As for the the Crystal skulls, The Jewish Ark, The Hindu Stones and Christian holy grail, Tchnically 3 different relegions ALL being "true" and powerful, but this people have a problem with? life is strange.

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