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Moriarty Reviews INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL!

Moriarty and the Last Skull Raider of Doom! by Stereotypical Evil Archer	May 19th, 2008 12:09:49 AM

First? by acorvey25	May 19th, 2008 12:10:12 AM
Could it be true? Fortune and glory?
Moriarty by wadi77	May 19th, 2008 12:15:22 AM
My most trusted person at AICN! I haven't read the review though. :P
Eat shit haters - Indy's back! by Nutta	May 19th, 2008 12:18:14 AM
And thanks to Moriarty for the review. All the press and reviews popping up over the net pretty much confirms what the sensible suspected. Its a good film. Nowhere near the brilliance of raiders, but lets be honest who seriously expected it to be? But clearly this is a movie that belongs in the Indy franchise. Thank you Ford, Spielberg and yeah even Lucas for letting is enjoy a new Indy adventure. I'll be looking forward to seeing this opening day.
I trust Drew by Dark Knight Lite	May 19th, 2008 12:18:29 AM
Can't wait. Naysayers begone.
I am optimistic! by Flaggg	May 19th, 2008 12:18:50 AM
Because I am taking a HOT DATE!
not first! by greenstyle92	May 19th, 2008 12:21:44 AM
I read the review!
A lot better than Crusade? by greenstyle92	May 19th, 2008 12:22:36 AM
But what if I really, really like Crusade?
So drew... by greenstyle92	May 19th, 2008 12:26:16 AM
What I'm gathering from a lot of these reviews is that, whatever else, This film "Meets the minimum requirements." That's the feeling I keep getting over and over. I keep seeing stuff like, "Yeah, this sucked, and this wasn't so good, but it still feels like an indy movie and is as good as whatever you consider your least favorite sequel to be." Is this accurate? Should I be excited that it just manages a passing grade? This tepidly good stuff is messing with my head! good to hear Harrison Ford showed up though. I too was afraid they were just going to use his wax museum replica but if this truly has the real indiana jones in it, it cant be that bad, I suppose...
Hey Moriarity you know what's ironic? by greentealite	May 19th, 2008 12:26:51 AM
That most people will now allow a forgiving attitude with this, but shunned doing so for Speed Racer. In some ways this is the same situation, you overlook certain flaws to have a great experience. But so many people seemed to just make up their mind in advance. I guess if it had a lucas franchise from the 80's then people would've slobbered all over it..
green tea lite- by greenstyle92	May 19th, 2008 12:28:58 AM
or a marvel comic book.
ok, now i believe by darwinmayflower	May 19th, 2008 12:29:19 AM
thanks Mori.
Also, having read the review... by greentealite	May 19th, 2008 12:30:25 AM
I guess it sounds like a cross between Jurassic Park 2 level of awful and Jurassic Park level of awe and entertainment? That's a weird mix, but if it's a good adventure *STORY*, if the story itself is fun to follow, I will like the movie. That's what always snares me for this type of movie. Is the story engaging? "Too much exposition" is something I kind of like in adventure movies, to be honest. That can be part of a movie's charm for me. But then again I like the wachowskis' filmmaking so I guess I have a lobotomy.
Sorry but after the Speed Racer love-in here by Slipofthewrist	May 19th, 2008 12:31:47 AM
...I won't be able to trust many other reviews for a long while. Including this one, which has the same desperate tinge of wanting as the Speed reviews did. Speed was a pile of dogshit that got deservedly pounded - and hard - at the box office and while I doubt Indy 4 will share that same fate the fact that even it's biggest fans, like you, have to write multiple paragraphs justifying how, no, you REALLY DO like it, in spite of itself.....the flick is a letdown, just like all the advanced word has been hinting.
This review doesn't excite me at all by the_scream	May 19th, 2008 12:31:51 AM
Like the majority of the positive reviews it's like "yeah, thank goodness it wasn't bad!! I can rest easy now and just enjoy a film that's not really great but good enough" Sounds like a pretty crappy endorsement to me.
Spielberg and Ford shouldn't worry about the mixed reviews. by MaxTheSilent	May 19th, 2008 12:31:54 AM
Because if this movie DOES disappoint everyone will just blame Lucas and LaBeouf. Although by all accounts 'The Beef' is the best thing in the film.
Damn you, George Lucas! by Motoko Kusanagi	May 19th, 2008 12:32:48 AM
Damn you to hell!
other green by greentealite	May 19th, 2008 12:33:06 AM
Yep. And what's even more ironic is how (I'm guessing) back in the old days when those comics were coming out, a lot of the people who enjoyed them had really active imaginations. And then you fast-forward to today, and it seems like the 'idea' of a comic is so important rather than its fun and creativity. So now, these same aged people react vehemently against something new like Speed Racer. Sad, really.
Ahhh... by TheRealMoriarty	May 19th, 2008 12:34:58 AM
... yes, because nothing in life can be a mixed reaction. In the Kingdom Of The Cynical Fanboys, all is either "suck" or "rule." I said what I meant. It's a lot of fun. There are some issues, but so what? The things that are great about it outweigh those issues, and so ultimately, yes, it's a positive review. Shades of grey, people. Learn it. Live it. Love it.
wow by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 12:35:46 AM
I didn't know I could have been first on this thing. I read that entire review and looked at the talkback, and woops, it was empty, but too late. Oh well, it's overrated anyway I guess. I am so damn excited to see this now. Great review. I don't need another Raiders, (although that WOULD be the bees knees Spielberg! You can just fucking take a nap Lucas, you clown.) as long as it's still Indy and some of that magic is still there, which it sounds like it is.
Thank you, Mori by bravogolfhotel	May 19th, 2008 12:37:25 AM
"I wish the second half was as strong as the first half, and I wish the film wasn’t drowning in awkward exposition in almost every scene..." "One of the things that shocked me was how mild-mannered this film is..." "I can’t think of a single time in the history of a franchise where introducing a kid has worked to creatively revitalize the proceedings, and IJATKOTCS has not broken that streak." "[...]there’s no soul to [Koepp's] writing. There’s no awe here." "The last act of the film is the weakest stuff in the movie..." This review proves why you're still the best reason to come to this site. This was a big assignment, and without hyperbole or bitterness or amusement at your own cleverness, you have carefully described the film to such a degree that I can feel good about not going to see it. I couldn't have asked to be let down any more gently. Again, thank you.
How's the pacing? by greentealite	May 19th, 2008 12:37:46 AM
If Spielberg was saying he wanted to go for an older style, does that mean I won't have to worry about nausea from shaky cam?
Nice Mori. by Mezzanine	May 19th, 2008 12:38:03 AM
Im hoping I can get to read Darabont's script someday.
and Speed Racer was incredible by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 12:39:02 AM
no drugs, no cynicism, just an immersion into a cartoon world with tons of excitement and laughs. a pure, joyous cinematic experiment. Arguably better than Iron Man. IMO opinion easily superior.
by no drugs of course... by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 12:39:43 AM
I mean leave the cannabis at home fellas. It ain't necessary.
Best review I've read so far... by Jobacca	May 19th, 2008 12:40:45 AM
Sadly,it sounds about what I expect. Not great,not bad...just a movie. I just this evening read the Jeb Stuart script and was amazed at how much better it sounded than the movie that actually got made...keep in mind,that was the script that Ford and Speilberg hated. The hardest thing for me to accept is going to be the introduction of the new kid character...Mori hit that nail right on the fucking head. It reeks of desperation and is a bad combination of a terrible actor and a terrible character. If I can get past that,I might actually enjoy the ride....
Nothing wrong with a mixed reaction by the_scream	May 19th, 2008 12:42:49 AM
I didn't say there was, nor that "mixed" means bad. Just that it is hard to be excited when even most of the positive reviews are saying it's good enough. Kind of makes me think if this had been the new Mummy film, would people have given this as much praise?
kungfu by greentealite	May 19th, 2008 12:43:12 AM
I'd say both movies have their merits. Iron Man is a fun conventional movie. But Speed Racer's energy and innovation, in my opinion, makes it better on the whole. I mean, look at the distinction between reviews when you compare the two movies. I guess what mainstream audiences and critics value and want is that conventionality in a movie. Which is fine, but disappointing, too, since it means anything different that isn't under the label 'indie' gets shunned.
Oh and..... by Jobacca	May 19th, 2008 12:43:20 AM
Last Crusade fucking rules. Temple of Doom is STILL the worst Indy movie ever made(although that may change come Wed.)
Mori, did you review Darabont's script? by Bass Ackwards	May 19th, 2008 12:43:58 AM
Just curious, always wondered about that script, having read the stories around it and Darabont's own angry words on it in interviews, I'd love to hear some insight into the actual script.
Mutt has the hat in his hand at the end of the movie... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 12:46:30 AM
and some of you cunts will still say George isn't crazier than a shit house rat with that idiotic Mutt movie he was dropping on us a few days ago. Say what you want but TheQueef was a deal breaking dumb ass idea.
LOL by ShogunMaster	May 19th, 2008 12:46:38 AM
This sounds like all of the complaints I had in my Review! I'm just glad you liked it/forgave it...
Thanks Moriarty. by Mr. Nice Gaius	May 19th, 2008 12:47:06 AM
Good review. Honest and forthright. (I appreciate the lack of spoilers.) I guess of all the things I'm hearing, the lack of Marion's true presence is the one that disappoints me the most. I just don't see how Lucas & Spielberg could allow that aspect to fall by the writing wayside. But I'm still really looking forward to seeing it. After all the INDIANA JONES nostalgia that's been playing on TV these past weeks, I've come to realize just how much I really love the character of Indy. I think he may be Lucas's best and most realized creation.
Well, sorry Drew, but... by greenstyle92	May 19th, 2008 12:47:45 AM
It's just kind of a hard come down. Harry got me excited about how cool the movie is, and you and quint have me convinced to only expect a "good enough" Indy moive. Something like Crusade, but without the nostalgia. (not that that will always be a problem. I'm sure in 10 years I'll look back fondly on Kingdom.) I know the value of tempered expectations, but after Harry's review your's is kind of a defeat. Don't get me wrong. I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR THAT. Because that would be incredibly petty on my part and totally untrue. I just, want to believe, and it's hard knowing it's not all that it's cracked up to be. I don't know.
greentea, I agree completely!!! by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 12:48:00 AM
I think some audiences are just having trouble swallowing the break from reality some films have taken. The most popular aesthetic now seems to be sticking to total reality without delving to much into the pulp or the surreal. And Speed Racer seemed to capture that cartoony, nonsensical atmosphere in a way that was still extremely entertaining. Still, I definitely was not dissing on Iron Man at all. Definitely an excellent comic book movie with perfect casting. It was pretty conventional, especially compared to something like Speed Racer, but that certainly didn't stop me from having a great time watching it.
Yeah kungfu, which is why... by greentealite	May 19th, 2008 12:49:49 AM
we have to accept that mainstream is mainstream, and that this movie (I guess) is pretty much labeled 'cult' now. Honestly I think the Criterion company should just be the first to print it when it goes to DVD.
With all the air time the movies have been getting by greenstyle92	May 19th, 2008 12:50:17 AM
I'm thinking I shouldn't have ponied up for that new DVD set that just came out! Damn!
BTW - those CHUD reviews... by Mr. Nice Gaius	May 19th, 2008 12:50:24 AM
...are harsh. And even though I've not yet seen it, I'd say they were intentionally so.
Well I just watched Raiders and Last Crusade by Vindibudd	May 19th, 2008 12:52:06 AM
and quite frankly, if it is better than Last Crusade, then I am going to love it. Of course LC was the only one I saw in the theater...
Jurassic Park had NO SOUL. by Fa Fa Fooey	May 19th, 2008 12:53:34 AM
Effects were cool, but you must be it was indeed void of a soul. Was also miscast from top to bottom. I'm very sorry to hear you say this Moriarity, because you are my favorite reviewer. Hopefully this will be a good viewing experience.
yeah, vindibudd by greenstyle92	May 19th, 2008 12:54:05 AM
I think there's a generation of people born in the early to mid 80s that have a nostalgia just particularly for Crusade, where as those older who appreciated Raiders back in the day are the ones more prone to dismissing it.
At some point, CHUD... by greentealite	May 19th, 2008 12:54:28 AM
fell into that sewer they always so delicately teetered over, ala the image of their site.
Arnold, Bruce, Stallone, now Ford by geraldbeans	May 19th, 2008 12:54:55 AM
Are we finished with this desparate nostalgia for the 80s yet. Jeeeeez!
Last Crusade is my second fav so far. by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 12:56:12 AM
It's goofy, yes, but that tank fight is one of the best action sequences in the series. Temple of Doom is great, but Last Crusade always excited me the most as a kid. And the scene where everybody thinks Indy dies and he climbs back up behind them is hilarious. I re-watched Raiders a couple months ago and it is ridiculous how magical that film is. A clear ten out of ten.
Remember when we used to let movies just do their thing? by hopewell1	May 19th, 2008 12:58:05 AM
I agree with Moriarty that the sucks/roles thing gets old. I will never convince my aunt that Last Crusade sucks and she will never convince me that Temple of Doom sucks but we both enjoy Indiana Jones the character. And so we will be there opening day. So why do we argue? For fun I guess but I think Lucas is right that movies ARE generally binary. They either work for us or don't. Last Crusade didn't work for me. There was no real resolution with the Father/Son relationship and it slowed the film down that Connery turned it into a vanity project so to speak. So I'm going in just meeting the film halfway and hoping it works for me. Sometimes we don't let movies just plain work for us and I hope it's easier for Moriarty to do on his second viewing with the burden of a review off his shoulders.
Shades of Gray by comedian_x	May 19th, 2008 12:59:21 AM
are fine Moriarty, but if you're going to make a sequel to Indiana Jones nearly 20 years later and a sequel that has no reason to be made at that -- it better be great. Not good, not okay, not, "I didn't hate it."
So, Mori... the Darabont script...? by Laserbrain	May 19th, 2008 01:00:20 AM
Any chance of a pocket review of that, say, after Skull gets a release? I'm really curious to know what it's like.
Darabont script!!!!!!!! by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 01:02:54 AM
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!
IJ and the Fortress of Rap by RTDInternational	May 19th, 2008 01:03:03 AM
This is kinda funny....Indiana Jones and the Fortress of Rap. http://tinyurl.com/6fjykb Actually kinda catchy.
Coming soon... 90s Nostalgia films! by greenstyle92	May 19th, 2008 01:03:11 AM
Expect Jurassic Park 4 to be green lit for summer 2012 featuring Sam Neil, Laura Dern and Jeff Goldblum making one last go at Dinosaur Island. Do you think they'll be too old for that shit? Or how about Ace Ventura 3 for 2014 featuring Jim Carey and courtney cox-arquette re-uniting to discover the identity of killer of snow flake the dolphin's son. But will there still be the same magic when Jim talks out his ass this time?
This is an actual review; journalism in true form. by Stereotypical Evil Archer	May 19th, 2008 01:08:35 AM
So few writers know how to write a review anymore. It's great and refreshing to read a well written review of a film I plan to see. Reviews aren't about making a film a sucess or a failure financially or artistically, they are for a curious audience. This is how you write for a curious audience. Well done Moriarty, well done. So many of the other reviews I've read tonight were written by Donnies out of their element.
I'm glad Moriaty got his mittens off by hallmitchell	May 19th, 2008 01:14:24 AM
I was busting for this review.
How can anyone say any of these movies suck? by Vindibudd	May 19th, 2008 01:16:38 AM
Seriously, you people. These movies are meant to recreate serials from the 30s. Go back and rent some from netflix and get some culture. These Indy movies are fantastic at capturing that feel and updating it with modern trappings like a great film score and killer dialogue. So Raiders does not suck, Doom does not suck, Last Crusade does not suck, and apparently neither does Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls. It's all just varying degrees of awesome.
Oh man by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 01:20:42 AM
Criterion releasing Speed would be incredible. But I doubt it. And I'm not sure it's accurate to just generalize the "mainstream." I'm pretty sure most kids on the planet would get a kick out of it, just like they will for Indy.
Now I'm almost convinced this won't totally suck. by Pops Freshemeyer	May 19th, 2008 01:26:40 AM
I've actually avoided all the trailers for this and haven't read very much about it. And I'll be going in with low expectations, thanks to Last Crusade. Oh yeah, if anybody is interested, Target has all the flicks on sale for $10...
Mori by hamo455	May 19th, 2008 01:30:42 AM
How cool is it that you get to take your kid to an Indy movie at the cinema? Flaws or no, I'm sure that'll be a high for you.
Also wondering about the damn Darabont script... by Anti-fanboy	May 19th, 2008 01:45:24 AM
The fucking internets are letting me down, man! Can't find it anywhere. Just Monkey Kings and Saucer Men. But you knew that. If someone were to possibly leak it, Drew... that someone would make a lot of film geeks happy. Hint. Hint. Oh well. You lucky, insider bastards. Enjoyed the review, BTW. Also enjoying the fanboys inability to grapple with a little ambiguity.
TOD>TLC by Prossor	May 19th, 2008 01:47:05 AM
just so we understand the proper scheme of things
Moriarty you sound relieved? by Orionsangels	May 19th, 2008 01:53:12 AM
You're like a first time skydiver. It's like 12 months ago they told you you're going skydiving next year. You've dreaded it all year long. Now that you did it. You're glad it's over and hey, it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be.
EBERT gives Indy 4...3 1/2 Stars! by Orionsangels	May 19th, 2008 01:55:03 AM
http://tinyurl.com/3qx74w
First real piece of writing in a Indy IV review tonight... by Short Round	May 19th, 2008 02:10:46 AM
"So many of the other reviews I've read tonight were written by Donnies out of their element." I couldn't agree more with that. Thanks Mori for a real piece of journalism, not just a thinly veiled preconceived hate of anything even remotely associated with Lucas. Like most, my expectations are relatively low after the train wreck of Episodes 1 and 2. A positive review with some mild constructive criticism is a good sign for KOTCS I think. No time for love Dr. Jones!
But Mori, for this film "shades of grey" is "sucks" by IndustryKiller!	May 19th, 2008 02:13:27 AM
And you know what, I might be saying that because when Last Crusade came out I was just too damn young to dislike it, but, unlike the Prequels, this film didn't have to get made. And if it did get made it better be god damn excellent. Not Raiders excellent necessarily, but clearly second best excellent. Otherwise it's a more nostalgic Oceans 12. That might be a tad hyperbolic but you catch my drift. No this film should have stayed right where you thought it would stay, in all our imaginations.
Excellent review though, and it's good to see you... by IndustryKiller!	May 19th, 2008 02:14:52 AM
acknowledge how awful the Prequels are. Welcome to the light side.
I don't care if it's pants... by BiggusDickus	May 19th, 2008 02:30:39 AM
Even a duff Indy film is going to be better than whatever fucking McG turns out next. And, as it hasn't got that annoying little bastard from 'Temple Of Doom' in it, it's not going to be the worst Indy film ever made, is it? Count me in!
Easy there BiggusDickus... by Short Round	May 19th, 2008 02:35:06 AM
...that little bastard from TOD? ;)
Sorry, Short Round! by BiggusDickus	May 19th, 2008 02:37:35 AM
But you escaped from The Goonies and into an Indiana Jones film and ruined it for me! Too shouty, dude!
While AICN may never do it, I'm fairly certain everyone by NoPIX	May 19th, 2008 02:37:44 AM
Wants to know some details about the Darabont script. I'd sure love to know some of the main similarities and differences AFTER I've seen the film.
BTW - I'm English... by BiggusDickus	May 19th, 2008 02:38:33 AM
Sorry, but what's a 'Donnie'?
At Dickus by i_am_PETER_VENKMAN	May 19th, 2008 02:39:07 AM
Quan was in Temple of Doom before The Goonies, don't blame that one on him.
So, What Have We Learned Today? by Mission Code Z	May 19th, 2008 02:41:36 AM
ShogunMaster is probably going to get on a school bus here in a few hours to start his week of classes at the local middle school in his hometown. He is still hoping his mother can pick up some tickets for the new Indy film this Thursday. AICN had all positive reviews from its staff members. I was not expecting that. Roger Ebert gets it. He just does. CHUD is what happens when snot meets a keyboard.
Expectations Too High by MrMidnight1201AM	May 19th, 2008 02:43:08 AM
First off, I think Harry, Moriarty, and Quint are being honest and are typing on this website what their hearts are telling them. It's all about expectations. Harry, like he said, went into the movie, prepared to be hugely letdown. His expectations, extremely low to the point of suck. He came out of the theatre loving it so much, which is a good thing, but if his expectations were that of Moriarty and Quint, he would be saying the exact same things as those two are saying. Moriarty and Quints expectations weren't exactly high per say, but they were in the range of "okay, I expect a halfway decent film, for it to film like an Indiana Jones film and not a trying to feel like a film from the franchise but failing miserably "Die Hard 4", to be entertained, and to at least be better than the shitty Star Ware prequels." They didn't go in expected Raiders scale. Let's face it, no Indiana Jones film from here on out will ever exceed Raiders. It is impossible. And that is what I am going to realize going into this film. I actually don't like Temple of Doom all that much and I feel it is most out of place of the three Indy films. Basically, Temple of Doom is three great action sequences with Indy, and a bare bones "Indian-child-stealing-yawn-ya wn" plot. The mine cart chase is the only thing truly great from that film. Indy didn't really do any archeologing in that film, he was the only likable character, and the whole film was more of a "Frankenstein monster" film than anything, being that most of the sequences were things left on the screenplay cutting room floor of Raiders. Temple of Doom is kinda boring. My expectations for this 4th adventure is something that is at least better than Doom. Last Crusade probably has the most rewatch value of the Indy trilogy (although Raiders does too), just as Die Hard 3 has the most rewatch value of that trilogy. Die Hard 2 is the equivalent to Temple of Doom, rehashed plot and ideas. So, for all of you seeing this movie, expect a film at least better than Doom, or for those of you that didn't really like Crusade and liked Doom, better than Crusade, but don't expect the best of all the films, you'll walk out disappointed. I also have a feeling since none of the reviewers on this website want to get into detail about the so-called "alien" aspect of this film that they want to say they had a problem with it, they just can't because they are afraid of releasing too many spoilers. Once all is said and done and everybody has seen this film, expect a lot of cracks at the alien aspect of this film. But remember, all the Indy films have had some supernatural element, and aliens are one of the most supernatural elements we have in today's culture. So for those of you bashign Moriarty, leave him alone, he had his expectations, and what the movie gave him was probably close, but not just quite what he was expecting.
better than LAST CRUSADE? more successful than SITH? by newc0253	May 19th, 2008 02:44:34 AM
dude, i'm there. CRUSADE is my least favourite of the series so far. and i thought SITH was better than JEDI. of course, having read a bunch of reviews, i'm getting the clear signal to lower my expectations. but this kind of review helps a lot. Thanks, dude.
Give me pulp by CuervoJones	May 19th, 2008 02:45:14 AM
I love pulp.
Roger "Crash and Juno were the best films of the year" Ebert by IndustryKiller!	May 19th, 2008 02:48:22 AM
Yeah there's a guy with his finger on the pulse of cinema.
"still-smoking ruins of the STAR WARS franchise" by Prossor	May 19th, 2008 02:52:21 AM
i love that. epicly put
What is a "Donny?" by Short Round	May 19th, 2008 02:55:39 AM
Donnie = Big Lebowski-ism.
I love how this is construed as a positive review by IndustryKiller!	May 19th, 2008 02:56:05 AM
Middling and passively nostalgic. Mmmmm boy THAT'S the Indy film I wanna see!!!!
The past few hours have been illuminating... by acorvey25	May 19th, 2008 03:00:17 AM
...and a whirlwind of nostalgia. This is an important weekend for fandom and I'm loving every minute of it. Honestly, I never thought I'd see another Indiana Jones movie in the theater. As Elsa said in LAST CRUSADE, "I never thought I'd see you again." To which Indy replied, "I'm like a bad penny, I always turn up." Indeed.
DAAAAAARAAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOONT!!! !! by DerLanghaarige	May 19th, 2008 03:01:52 AM
I start to think that he NEVER wrote an Indy script and this is just some kind of cruel in-joke. Of course I hope that it exists and find its way online (or even into book stores) anyway.
It is a banner week for fanboys... by Short Round	May 19th, 2008 03:04:59 AM
...and especially Lucas haters. All that residual bad-taste-in-mouth from Episodes I & II is really showing itself over on CHUD, and the trolls and cynics here as well. I retain a sense of amusement in all of this, and fully realize that regardless of any slight shortcomings, I will enjoy KOTCS much like I enjoy the first three.
Yeah, damn CHUD and their well supported reviews by IndustryKiller!	May 19th, 2008 03:07:19 AM
Fuck all that evidence they site. Cynics and trolls all of 'em! rabble rabble rabble rabble rabble
dont forget Episode III by Prossor	May 19th, 2008 03:07:48 AM
lotta bad taste from that one too.
I especially like the... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 03:15:54 AM
idiots that talk about enjoying the KOTCS just because it has IJ in it despite the fact it has jumped the shark and wreaks of desperation. Tell you what, I'll sell you a box of shit with IJ written on the side of it, will you enjoy that as well? Or perhaps you would enjoy TheQueef's Muff character on it? We could even photoshop him giving a hand job to Spielberg while we're at it. We'll give it a nice money shot right on the front for you!
CHUD? Well supported? by Short Round	May 19th, 2008 03:17:23 AM
That was the laugh of my weekend, and not a moment too soon, as I'm about to go to bed. Those fucks hated this movie before they ever saw a frame. Some people just dont like having fun, and that shows over there ALL the time. I'll take some real writing (ie Mori) over Lucas damnation anyday, thanks...
Slipofthewrist... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 03:21:05 AM
You are fucking right on with that shit. I remember the felatious apologistic bullshit with the Phantom Menace when it first came out. Jesus, what a letdown that was. A lot of people were running around trying to convince themselves it wasn't a steaming pile of dog shit just like they're doing now. That Mutt Williams character spelled doom the moment that fucker was announced and now we have to listen to 10000 word essays on why despite the fact it sucked they still liked it.
The Internet is killing movies... by Seven Seas	May 19th, 2008 03:22:57 AM
I know I should ignore it, but its hard. I'll finally learn my lesson and this summer I think, and it will be the last time I get talked out of having a good time.
CHUD is a fucking joke... by Jobacca	May 19th, 2008 03:23:20 AM
Heres the way that "website" works. Hey remember that thing you liked as a kid? You only like it because of nostalgia,it really sucks. And if you dont take our word for it,you're uncool and immature. And you know that stuff that bombs or everyone hates? You're just not mature or cool enough to understand it like we do. CHUD is what happens when hipsters band together and suck each others cocks for too long. But hey,did you hear Devins going to be on TV? Not that he cares cause he's too cool for that,but please watch him or he might cry.
People who hate on Lucas and Shia... by Short Round	May 19th, 2008 03:23:37 AM
...need someone to focus their rage upon over the fact that life has past them by and thier lives peaked in 1980/1981 with Empire and Raiders...Don't be mad because we all ended up kissing girls and starting careers. Jealousy knows no bounds when it comes to Shia around here.
Yeah fun, go ahead and use that as your excuse... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 03:23:52 AM
to walk around with your head in your ass and talk about how great this shitty desperate grasp at a dwindling career is, and since it's so fun it has to be good, you see, because it was fun.
IndustryKiller... by TheRealMoriarty	May 19th, 2008 03:26:49 AM
... how can you have "evidence" in a review? And as I said above... this is not a "rave" or a "positive review." It's a mixed review. Pardon me for not sharpening my knives and indulging in lazy, easy Lucas-bashing for the sake of it. I wrote about my complete and genuine reaction to the film. If that's not enough for you, or if you demand that everyone has to echo your POV, I guess this one will just have to bother you.
People who jackoff to TheQueef and Lucas the Hutt... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 03:27:12 AM
need someone to focus their pent up sexual rage upon over the fact that no one will touch their peepee and their lives peaked at the age of 12 when their mothers still washed and wiped their ass. Don't be mad because you ended up whacking it to a transformers poster and the fact you're driving a taxi. Envy knows no bounds when it comes to Spielberg humping TheQueef.
That last post was terrible grammatically... by Short Round	May 19th, 2008 03:29:18 AM
...not to mention wreaking of lack of originality. Desperate grasp at a dwindling career? Say what you will, but I don't find Harrison Ford to be somone who needs/wants much more than he already has, not to mention he has never given a shit about Hollywood stardom. I think his lack of decent roles as of late has been a consious choice on his part.
No, IndustryKiller... by acorvey25	May 19th, 2008 03:29:55 AM
The reviews from Devin and Jeremy, while (arguably) supported, are TOTALLY biased. They decided to hate this film a long time ago and should be ashamed. Seriously, CHUD are the lowest of the low.
poeticwarriorII... by Short Round	May 19th, 2008 03:32:12 AM
...you are the type-A Troll that I mentioned earlier in this TB. You're welcome to an opinion, but your approach is juvenile at best. I'm sorry George let you down so much in 1999...
CHUD... by acorvey25	May 19th, 2008 03:36:42 AM
...is to movies what Pitchfork is to music: elitist bullshit. If you put stock in their opinion you're as worthless as they are.
OKAY EVERYONE JUST RELAX!!! by Orionsangels	May 19th, 2008 03:42:01 AM

Should have had a spoiler warning... by Dimpy	May 19th, 2008 03:45:01 AM
All the Indy films have iconic closing scenes - the warehouse, the children, riding off into the sunset - and I was looking forward to discovering this film's last scene myself. Never mind - it was a great review.
Where are all the "told you so" fuckers now by Lost Jarv	May 19th, 2008 03:45:39 AM
Merriman, Diggity- I see PW2 has shown, but where are the rest of them>? Still cautiously optimistic, I don't trust Harry, this one is mixed and Quint's was a bit weird.
Short Round, you cunt... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 03:50:36 AM
It's juvenile to you because you're too much of a retarded twat to think of anything else. By the way... did you know you're a cunt?
acorvey25, if you mean by... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 03:52:29 AM
elitist bullshit, my self-esteem dropped into the shitter when I read that review because I dangle from the nuts of Lucas the Hutt and my sole reason for living is KOTCS not sucking big floppy donkey balls, then yeah, it's elitist bullshit!
Is that all you got? by Short Round	May 19th, 2008 03:54:00 AM
Carry on trolling; I'll be here if you ever have any real discussion to offer.
remember when Short Round by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 03:54:31 AM
and Indy were arguing during their card game in the jungle and all of a sudden they both start arguing in mandarin (or is it cantonese?)? Yeah, that was fucking hilarious. I'm curious. what is everybody's favorite Indy moment. It could be anything in the movies at all, an action scene, a clever line, or an especially gruesome death. My personal favorite is definitely the truck fight in Raiders. Pure action bliss. And the opening of Last Crusade was always interesting to me as a kid. I was a boy scout too and seeing River Phoenix do all that crazy shit is what really pulled me in and made me feel like I could be an action hero. Come on, let's celebrate the legacy of Indy! Others?
That fucking CHUD review... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 03:56:20 AM
was just about what I thought this shitastic movie would be like. From everything that's been said and justified in reviews and shown in the trailers that fucker was spot on. This is the most Lucas fondled of the lot and that incompetent fuck has molested enough already. These two fat ass old men have gotten lazy and rich because people give their mediocrity a fucking pass so they sleep walk their way through everything they do anymore.
Too Many Spoilers Mori!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 by talkbackgeek	May 19th, 2008 03:56:51 AM
Where's the spoiler warning Mori? Your review doesn't have the red spoiler tags, but it gave away a lot more than Quint or Harry's. Mainly the Opening Scene, What's in the trunk, shia and the hat.
Short Round, bwahahahahaahaha... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 03:57:55 AM
I rest my case. Now sit in the corner with your thumb in your ass you imbecilic dip shit.
Moriarty hated it because he is stupid by Razorback	May 19th, 2008 03:59:04 AM
I am having too much fun with these hyperbolic subject titles.
Favorite moment... by Short Round	May 19th, 2008 03:59:29 AM
...has to be Marion and the drinking duel. Followed closely by NO TIME FOR LOVE DR. JONES! ;)
Insulting people over the internet... by Short Round	May 19th, 2008 04:01:47 AM
...never ceases to amuse and baffle me at the same time. All I can ever think of is Jay and Bob at Mooby's.
Short Round, shrieking cunts that whine... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 04:04:42 AM
like a whore being ass raped about grammar in a talkback are like the dripping diseased twats at the free clinics you frequent trying to rid yourself of the ass clap you caught while your sneaky uncle visited for Easter. By the way... did you know you're an uber cunt?
Troll much? by Short Round	May 19th, 2008 04:07:17 AM
I like Indiana Jones.
Short Round, you stupid cunt... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 04:08:22 AM
you're just as guilty of insulting people over the internet yourself you shit eating testicle wart. I guess since your a sniveling cunt though you excused yourself from your post above, right you incredibly shit sniffing bastard? Fuck you very much for playing how goddamn stupid can I be, you won first prize dumb ass! A free trip to sniff the three day old jizz your bf left in your ass fucktard.
poeticwarrior by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 04:08:42 AM
maybe less crazy name-calling, more movie talk. favorite Indy moment dude?
Call the kettle black much cunt? by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 04:09:34 AM
Fuck off.
Highly amusing... by Short Round	May 19th, 2008 04:10:19 AM
...I feel like I'm on the bus to middle school again. Only its a lot more one-sided than those days. ;)
okay by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 04:11:42 AM
we all have our bad days. I know I have, shit. The stuff you're writing is hilarious anyway. I don't think anybody is taking you seriously anymore.
Damn You Michael Bay by MCMLXXVI	May 19th, 2008 04:14:30 AM
Damn You Michael Bay
but seriously man by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 04:15:03 AM
don't you have a favorite Indy moment?
kungfuhustler84... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 04:16:18 AM
My favorite scene was when Indy punched this dude Short Round in his vagina. Does that count?
If it is at least as good as Crusade, it's good enough for me by hamster factor	May 19th, 2008 04:17:37 AM
Nice review. Being one that really enjoys Crusade, while still ranking it third behind Raiders and Doom - I'll be totally satisfied if Crystal Skull is in that same ballpark.
Short Round, keep telling yourself that... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 04:17:54 AM
cunt!
No time for love Dr. Jones! by Short Round	May 19th, 2008 04:18:30 AM
Indy! I love you!
but a lot of "fans" do want to "hate and ruin" by pipergates	May 19th, 2008 04:20:24 AM
I totally understand moviefolks like Lucas and Spielberg trying to be protective. Lots of people seems to just want to tear apart and reveal all the secrets and trample in the mud.
was that a deleted scene? by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 04:20:35 AM
graphic
kungfuhustler84... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 04:20:57 AM
I'm pretty sure the only ones taking me seriously are the dudes that just can't stop writing to me. But then again, those usually turn out to be the most entertaining anyway so really we're in a win win situation.
You call him Dr. Jones, doll! by Short Round	May 19th, 2008 04:22:32 AM
No parachutes!
Very happy to hear this news.... by Seph_J	May 19th, 2008 04:22:39 AM
Carefully reading what Mori and Quint says, and scanning briefly through Harrys review is usually the best way to approach a new film here on AICN. Happy to see that each of them have addressed the things you can usually expect them to. And I'm my opinion, its 3 thumbs up out of 3. Not sure I'm liking 'The shot of Mutt at the end with Indy’s hat in his hands' bit though.... Fucking excited about seeing this....
favorite Indy moment: by hamster factor	May 19th, 2008 04:23:56 AM
Rope Bridge in Temple of Doom. Prepare to meet Kali, in Hell!
kungfuhustler84, as a matter of fact it was... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 04:26:12 AM
Indy's hand kept getting stuck so they finally went CGI! It was kinda funny seeing Short Round in giant green panties with a huge cork stuck in his twat, but in the end, the hard R was, unfortunately for all, off putting.
Usually I like to chime in here and complain about Last Crusade. by hopewell1	May 19th, 2008 04:26:23 AM
But I'll mix it up. Best part of Last Crusade: "You lost today kid, but that doesn't mean you have to like it." Totally defines the character's life motivation. Worst part of Raiders: There isn't any. I just don't like Indy's high pitched "dates! You eat it!"
hopewell1, you know... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 04:36:16 AM
I always kinda like the dates line for some odd reason. It always seemed like something a guy would do when talking to some chick he liked just to get a laugh. After all her monkey just ran away, have a heart.
I love how people keep blaming Lucas... by Jobacca	May 19th, 2008 04:38:44 AM
When the worst parts of this movie most likely come from Ford and Speilberg. They both passed on scripts that were much better than the one that got produced,and the only reason Shia Ladouche is in this is because he is to Speilberg what Leonardo Dicraprio is to Scorsese. Lucas may have given us the prequels,but Ford and Speilberg have also given us a lot of crap in the last few years.
by the way kungfuhustler84... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 04:40:45 AM
I wasn't calling you a c*** earlier for the tone it down bit. I just realized it looked like you thought I was addressing you with that. Just FYI.
Speed Racer was amazing, every scene of it by pipergates	May 19th, 2008 04:40:49 AM
Agree with Moriarty on that one. The Wachowski's needs to get to do some real superheroees, the way they truly master the kinetics and the comic book/ animated feeling translated into live action. Those bedroom fight scenes were some of the best fight scenes ever. Give them Avengers, or JLA, anything. If they can make Keanu exiting imagine what they can do with Green Lantern or Captain America.
What exactly is so bad about Last Crusade's characterzation of M by Stroker T Montana	May 19th, 2008 04:44:13 AM
People act like his character was somehow butchered. He was in all of two scenes in Raiders, and he didn't even appear in Doom. There wasn't really a character there until Last Crusade.
Dear God, give those Wachowski twats... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 04:45:27 AM
a DC property but not the Avengers. DC doesn't really give a shit if their movies suck.
Doom changed the formula, succesfully by hamster factor	May 19th, 2008 04:45:35 AM
Yeah yeah, it's not a sequel to Raiders like Crusade or (apparently) Crystal Skull is, but the reason I love Doom is that it shows "the other miscellaneous adventures of Dr. Jones". I love that the whole story just happens by accident. Indy just happens to get caught on this doomed airplane with this annoying woman and they just happen to crash land in India and fall into this adventure. For me Temple of Doom has always sparked my imagination about all the untold stories of this character. Willie Scott, while irritating, doesn't manage to ruin it for me - there are too many perfect moments, and perhaps the best musical score of the series.
you mean with the black kettle thing? by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 04:46:39 AM

Yes indeed... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 04:48:09 AM
not directed at you at all.
oh alright by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 04:49:56 AM
I wasn't upset or anything. honestly, the things you have been writing really are hilarious.
I agree, Marcus had no charater in Raiders by hamster factor	May 19th, 2008 04:52:39 AM
I can never understand peoples complaints that Marcus was butchered in Crusade - we no nothing about him from Raiders - we seem him only in the comfortable confines of his University. In Crusade Marcus, unlike Indy is shown to be a white tower scholar type, unaccustomed to the grit of field work, let alone epic adventures against the Nazis. I thought it was a great contrast. I still found his character likable, and funny.
Bad dates. by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 04:53:14 AM
Can we talk for a second about how fucking awesome Sallah was? "I am the monarch of the sea! I am the ruler of the Queen's navy!" Stupid bastard monkey
Marcus... by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 04:54:45 AM
was the MAN in the tank fight in Last Crusade.
Yeah you took that like a champ actually... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 04:56:36 AM
most people would still be writing me about middle school and such. Impressive... most impressive.
No time for trolls Dr. Jones! by Short Round	May 19th, 2008 04:59:12 AM
Seems as if that manic episode subsided.
Marcus was played pretty straight... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 05:01:42 AM
in Raiders. You've got to admit that much at least. He surely wasn't a buffoon. That said, I really didn't find him unlikable or annoying in LC. I can understand their point of view but he was still a good character.
apparently Sallah shits himself by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 05:01:44 AM
in one of the shots in Raiders, probably a deleted one. wiki that shit. does this footage still exist? that sounds fucking hilarious.
Thanks Mori - Another excellent review by Yeti	May 19th, 2008 05:01:46 AM
Too bad most fanboys don't use your shades of grey outlook or go into theatres with open minds. Then again, perhaps it's hard to when people obsess over certain productions for so long - the eventual product simply cannot klive up to the pre-concieved expectations.
"Shia Ladouche is to Speilberg what Leonardo Dicraprio is to Sco by hamster factor	May 19th, 2008 05:03:32 AM
That's interesting, considering this is the first Spielberg flick he's been in. Seriously, I've got no problem with LeBeef. Is he the next Harrison Ford? HELL NO. But if he does his own thing, whatever that may be, it could be fine
by Stroker T Montana	May 19th, 2008 05:04:50 AM
He has about four lines in Raiders, you can't really tell a guy's personality from that many lines. Besides, Marcus was confused and naive because he had never been in that kind of situation.
Thanks Moriarty! by Boromir	May 19th, 2008 05:06:12 AM
I sometimes read other reviews, but whenever I want a solid discussion of a film I haven't seen, I wait for you to post your thoughts. Half the time I go back to your review after seeing a film, and when I do that I always find myself nodding along. And while it's good that you and I seem to have similar reactions to film (it means that I can trust your opinion to help me judge whether movies I'm debating whether to see are worth my time and money) it's even better that I can trust your solid perception skills and ability to articulate fine shades of meaning and value. Looks like this one is going to be worth the money.
Jjust like this cunt kungfuhustler84... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 05:08:06 AM
you see this Short Round douche is the type of epic tool that you can really enjoy calling a cunty becuase the title has been won through many long sessions of being a whining twat. He's like the stupid gf you can't get rid of no matter how many times you beat her. Way down deep inside he knows he's a pig and he deserves to look like a fool. So you get what we have right here! An uber cunt.
Scorsese by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 05:09:20 AM
has adopted several actors over his career. Robert DeNiro and Joe Pesci are in several of his films too. Too bad he doesn't get Daniel Day Lewis in more of his films. I really don't mind Dicaprio at all any more. He bothered me in Titanic and that fucking sitcom he was in but I have to say, the dude has really come into his own. Just watch Blood Diamond. Who knows, maybe Shia can become a great actor as well. I will admit, it bothers me that Lucas and Spielberg are putting him in an Indy movie, but both of them are just as legendary as Scorsese, and I am interested in seeing where Shia decides to take his career. Hopefully, he is smart enough to turn down the Indy 5 thing to pursue his own career. I really do think he's got the chops.
Stroker T Montana, I completely... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 05:10:31 AM
disagree with you but hey, opinions are like assholes, everybody has one.
I like movies! by Short Round	May 19th, 2008 05:13:43 AM
I don't like lame, empty threats from anonymous intrawebbers. Too lame.
Short Round are you fucking stupid... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 05:15:44 AM
or are you genuinely illiterate? Quit being such an annoying little cunt, you cunt.
I personally have no idea by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 05:16:15 AM
concerning Short Round's history on the site, nor am I interested. Did everybody see my earlier post? There is a shot ON FILM where Sallah...SHITS HIMSELF. He poops his pants. He doodoos in his trousers. Sallah drops one in his slacks. and it's on film. preserved forever for some lucky geek to someday uncover and reveal to the world. Indiana Jones had his crysal skull. we have historical footage of Sallah (and need I remind you, fucking GIMLI) taking a massive dump on screen.
I don't know about TheQueef... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 05:17:19 AM
and the length and breadth of his chops, I haven't seen him do anything but act confused and stammer through lines a lot. What do you think he was good in?
"CGI. And I'm not that guy." by Knuckleduster	May 19th, 2008 05:18:14 AM
I actually admire that. Unfortunately, I think maybe I am that guy. I can enjoy stuff like 300 and Spider-man. It's fun. It's requires CGI. And you can't really make Iron Man or LOTR without it. But I hate it when CGI spoils a good film, especially when it doesn't belong there (Computer Generated blood in The Departed. Lazy fuckers). The truth is, nothing dates a movie like bad effects. Nothing. Not the hair, the wardrobe, the dialogue, nothing. And sadly, computer generated effects date faster than any other form of special effects in cinema history. Most of it looks shit from the start. Some last a year or two and then they start looking like crap, but it always ends up taking you out of the movie. It completely fucks with that suspension of disbelief. Wanna know why Bridge On The River Kwai will never get old? Because Lean had them build a real fuckin' bridge and blow it the fuck up! I still like the way Starship Troopers looks, though.
While I have no interest in seeing Sallah poop by Boromir	May 19th, 2008 05:19:46 AM
Your excitement over this scatological celluloid time capsule is making me laugh, kungfuhustler. God, why am I not in bed?
Well since you're not interested... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 05:21:17 AM
maybe you can stop being a snippy little twat. That said, where is this footage of gimli shitting himself and how does one continue getting work after that?
The Greatest Game Ever Played by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 05:22:31 AM
for one. To this day, he has done nothing especially eye catching, but neither did Dicaprio until Scorsese took him under his wing. My point is, the guy has obviously exhibited some charm and potential on screen. I personally feel he has some work before he can escape his flavor of the month status. Right now, people only seem to like him because others do, without being able to identify a single reason why, and others hate him for that same reason. If a cinematic master like Spielberg (who's recent works such as Munich really left me breathless) has noticed him, maybe there is something there just waiting for some real direction. Still, it will take something truly splendid to get me to really like the guy.
Jurassic Park 1 still isn't dated IMO.. by hamster factor	May 19th, 2008 05:23:13 AM
At least not the best scenes. i am also "that guy" when it comes to CGI - biggest reason I don't even watch most of the blockbusters these days. But Spielberg seems to know where to draw the line.
Well, yeah Boromir by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 05:25:28 AM
it was supposed to make you laugh. Talkbacks can be funny too. Some of them really are. It doesn't always have to be snippy comments and insults.
and poeticwarrior by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 05:28:45 AM
I just read about the shot on wikipedia. It's probably gone now, but oh the times we could have if it was posted on here. I imagine it would be the biggest talkback ever.
Neither did Dicaprio until Scorsese? by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 05:28:53 AM
What the flying fuck are you talking about? The man got a well deserved academy award nomination for playing a retard in What's Eating Gilbert Grape.
Really? by Boromir	May 19th, 2008 05:28:54 AM

kungfuhustler84, oh that is truly dissapointing... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 05:30:41 AM
an entire talkback over Gimli shitting himself would be golden!
I mean, I had the wrong impression. by Boromir	May 19th, 2008 05:31:37 AM
I thought that talkbacks were created expressly for the purpose of keeping occupied the people we'd rather not have prowling about on the streets. You know, the people who were apparently raised without a parent who was willing to pop them hard in the mouth when they needed it.
Boromir, really what? by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 05:31:51 AM
that Leo got a nomination or that Gimli shit himself on camera?
Oh, you're vagina was aching.... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 05:33:30 AM
that's why you were saying really.
Really, meaning... by Boromir	May 19th, 2008 05:34:06 AM
I thought that talkbacks were actually all about insults. So much for relying on appearances.
woah woah woah! by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 05:35:39 AM
poeticwarrior you are right dude! I totally forgot about that. Maybe that example wasn't the strongest, but I still feel like Shia has potential for better roles than the utter shite he's been in so far. It's always cool to see a young actor mature into really good movies. It's rare, but I doubt it's something most movie fans would not want to happen.
Bad CGI is kinda paradox by DerLanghaarige	May 19th, 2008 05:35:40 AM
You can't tell me that cartoonish CGI FX look really that worse than some stop motion effects from 40 years ago. I mean, I love Ray Harryhausen's work, but it just doesn't look real. The funny thing is that it isn't nearly as distracting as the saturday morning cartoon FX from "Van Helsing" or the academy award winning PS 3 demo "The Golden Compass". Why? I got no ideam but it's like that.
Interesting self-accusation there. by Boromir	May 19th, 2008 05:37:49 AM
I didn't even need to mention a name.
Boromir by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 05:42:55 AM
does that include you? cut that elitist bullshit, man. ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE GO ON TALKBACKS. The stereotype of the nerd alone in his parent's basement or whatever is totally dated. Some of us are ridiculous, some of us are pompous, some of us are in college, some of us have regular families with a spouse and kids, some of us are drunk, some of us are bored, some of us just can't wait to talk about movies, but it all mixes up and you get these crazy things called talkbacks. And hopefully, if we all are what we claim to be, movie fanatics, then we all get to read some really ridiculous shit about things most of us feel extremely passionate about, whether it is in a positive or negative way.
Once again... the prequels were GOOD! by Keeper Of Chimps	May 19th, 2008 05:44:11 AM
How is it impossible to talk about Indiana Jones without ripping the Star Wars prequels (which are looked at favorably in non-fanboy land)
Favorite scene = the Map Room by acorvey25	May 19th, 2008 05:47:17 AM
That sequence pretty much defines Indiana Jones for me. Also, the music in that scene is probably the best Williams has ever composed. Sheer brilliance...
YAY!! by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 05:48:43 AM
we're back to favorite Indy scenes again!!! everybody please give your piece!
Wait, I take that back... by acorvey25	May 19th, 2008 05:51:08 AM
"Marion's Theme" is the best music he's ever composed.
Gawd, so much for aching vaginas by Boromir	May 19th, 2008 05:53:56 AM
I wasn't being elitist, I was being satirical. As I have nothing else to say about Indiana Jones, I guess it's time for me to get off the board and leave it to the vivacious, ever-interesting and oh-so-entertaining mix of interesting movie discussion punctuated by posts from jackasses who failed Anger Management 101. But thanks so much for the heads-up--who knows what my incredible ignorance might have led me to believe without you to set me straight. But just for the record, I didn't use the nerd-in-basement stereotype. I'm mortified to be accused of such incredibly gauche behavior.
mariachi madness... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 05:55:33 AM
I'm not sure how wet your back is exactly, but if you're like the rest of your lazy shovel leaning breed, perhaps you should get out of the fucking trailer you're living in with 50 of your stinking coke mule cousins and swim your ass back across the rio you retarded no English speaking bastard. By the way mariachi, I've got a little joke for you. Why do Mexicans eat tamales on x-mas? .......................... So they'll have something to unwrap. Have a terrific Monday dumb ass.
Gauche, was that on your Word of the Day... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 05:57:11 AM
calendar this morning or do you just use those kinds of things to sound like an ass ramming dandy?
Boromir by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 05:58:49 AM
is actually Bruce Wayne's butler Alfred. I'm sure of it. And he used the word, "gauche" on a talkback. I think I'm in love.
acorvey25, I have to agree... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 05:58:57 AM
the map room scene was pretty damn awesome from top to bottom.
Garth Franklin's review from Dark Horizons... by acorvey25	May 19th, 2008 06:00:04 AM
http://tinyurl.com/6l2v39 Not a glowing review by any standard but it still gives me hope. Check it out.
poeticwarrior by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 06:00:24 AM
that was really lame, dude. You need to chill with that racist nonsense. It really has no place here and is completely over the line.
acorvey by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 06:02:35 AM
cool review man. I remember feeling really negative about this but things just keep looking up!
Mori I'm interested... by Bono Luthor	May 19th, 2008 06:04:36 AM
what do you think the problems with Crusade were? Very happy to hear that you like this more than Crusade, because I love that movie, maybe only a little bit less than Raiders.
Yeah... by acorvey25	May 19th, 2008 06:07:58 AM
This paragraph in particular cheered me up quite a bit: "Unlike the "Star Wars" prequels however, this is far from an abject failure and sits quite comfortably alongside the quality of the last two sequels. Performances are solid all round, character dynamics are interesting, the pacing almost never falters, the action is frequently gripping, the comedy mostly works, the FX are well done, and no-one can both edit and co-ordinate good old-fashioned set pieces like Steven Spielberg." Really, that's all I expect from a non-RAIDERS Indy flick.
by misnomer	May 19th, 2008 06:11:12 AM
damn- so they SHOULD have kept darabonts draft.
the thing about Spielberg by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 06:12:33 AM
is his ability to stage, choreograph, and film action is incredible. As long as his unreal talent for mapping out exciting action has not left, I seriously doubt I will be disappointed.
kungfuhustler by raw_bean	May 19th, 2008 06:21:34 AM
He's just trying to get a rise out of people: he doesn't mean a word he says, he's just enjoying being an asshole for the fun of it. If it bothers you, just ignore him.
You're probably right by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 06:25:25 AM
still, saying something like that is pretty inappropriate.
kungfuhustler84... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 06:26:01 AM
Take your tampon out of your ass and quit whining. Did you happen to read what that fuckstick wrote to me or did your tree hugger conditioning automatically kick in and decide for you that you should somehow be offended? If mariachi wants to cross the line then fine fuck it, but don't come on here yammering at me for responding in fucking kind.
Who cares about Moriarty's review.... by rbatty024	May 19th, 2008 06:26:17 AM
I want to know what Merrick's 14 year old son thinks. But seriously, that was what I was expecting. A good, not great, addition to the franchise. Although, I really enjoyed Crusade so maybe I will enjoy this even more than Moriarty. Here's a suggestion to anyone who didn't like Crusade. Go watch Road to Morocco and then watch Last Crusade. It will give you further insight into what Spielberg was trying to accomplish.
raw_bean what exactly is being an... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 06:30:40 AM
asshole about responding to what that fucking shit hole wrote? Quit being a pussy and feigning offense. I didn't see your sorry ass running to my defense when he was calling me a molester. I didn't see you two filled with any righteous outrage when he was saying lazy whites. Where were you two then? I guess it's ok to insult someone with a white joke but just let someone say a joke about some fucking minority and you goddamn bleeding hearts crawl out of the woodwork.
mariachi was being a moron by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 06:33:59 AM
no doubt about it, but his comments were so ridiculous and absurd (read: stupid) that you should not have felt you had to retort to racism. I myself was thinking of saying something to him for making such stupid, unfunny comments, but some on dude, lay off the racism.
*resort by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 06:36:31 AM

And by the way if you two can't bother... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 06:36:51 AM
reading what someone writes to me before you start pissing and moaning and going into your fucking Oprah Winfrey mode then save your fucking time and shut the fuck up. And if you did read it and still pissed and moaned then you can both fuck right the hell off.
Oh you were thikning eh? by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 06:38:37 AM
Funny how that thought never made it to the page. If he'd said something other than a white joke you'd been all over it.
holy shit dude by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 06:41:50 AM
he accused you of raping babies. I think you would know if you were raping babies and you're probably not, so relax. Him making such a ridiculous comment that nobody else reacted to does not justify anything you have said.
Hola, YackBacker... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 06:42:18 AM
Trouble follows me wherever I go. Funny how talking about molesting babies and a racist white joke gets no rise at all but a lazy Mexican joke fills the world at large with righteous indignation.
poeticwarriorII by C Legion	May 19th, 2008 06:42:45 AM
You're a bitter, lonely little person, aren't you? Keep on screaming into the void sadcase.
Blah, blah, blah... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 06:46:06 AM
Thank god for folks like you keeping the internets free from white tyranny.
And by the same token... by poeticwarriorII	May 19th, 2008 06:47:59 AM
why are his fucking insults taken as being so silly and outrageous but yet mine are like the second coming of Hitler? Jesus Christ get past your PC cunt conditioning.
Hey, PoeticWarrior... by TheRealMoriarty	May 19th, 2008 06:49:55 AM
... stop. Seriously. Enough. It's grotesque and unfunny and just... stop.
Mariachi by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 06:50:02 AM
said nothing with any real ground at all, and should not have affected you so strongly. Try not lashing out at anyone who even remotely challenges your insane rantings. I was THINKING about saying something and stopped, because the guy was an idiot with nothing important or, even worse, funny to say. You, on the other hand, while pretty much resorting to insane rants the entire talkback, have actually made me laugh a couple times, and I expected better from you than resorting to such low jokes.
however, YOU poeticwarrior by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 06:51:55 AM
have devolved into total and utter filth without any redeeming qualities whatsoever. I don't know if you are drunk, or mentally unstable, or just stupid, but I'm sick of you.
Moriarty by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 06:52:25 AM
now that you're finally here, favorite Indy scene?
Mariachi, shut up by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 06:57:05 AM
you're just as bad. All your accusations are utterly ridiculous, and you have yet to donate a single worthy note except to incite the wrath of one of this site's biggest nutcases.
Thanks Mori by chrth	May 19th, 2008 07:09:22 AM
Still the best reviewer on this site.
Chud's 3/10 and 4.5/10 reviews by BrowncoatJedi	May 19th, 2008 07:09:48 AM
Those reviews are just ridiculous. Good Luck Chuck deserves a 3. There's no way Crystal Skull is a 3. Even Van Helsing doesn't deserve a 3 and that was a horrible movie. The Chud reviewers just have an axe to grind. Fuck em.
Wow I thought this was the Indy talk back by Mace Tofu	May 19th, 2008 07:10:10 AM
but all I see is a whole page of WTF? postings. It's only a movie people. Viva THE RACE! The Human race : )
Mace Tofu by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 07:16:46 AM
earlier i was talking about Sallah shitting his pants and then I asked everybody what their favorite Indy scene was. then mariachi acted a fool so Poeticwarrior went sickhouse on all our asses until Mori chimed in and told him to stop. And Boromir used the word "gauche." It was awesome. So what's your favorite Indy scene?
Favorite Indy Scene by chrth	May 19th, 2008 07:19:01 AM
I still love the Map Room scene. It's just awesome, I can't explain why (plus I haven't seen it in years, so I don't why to say something like 'the way the score crescendos' when it's really a decrescendo or something nitpicky like that)
You seem harsher now on the Star Wars prequels than before, Mori by Oberon	May 19th, 2008 07:19:12 AM
...or that's just my sense. With PHANTOM MENACE you felt a "disturbance in the force" but left a largely positive (if mixed) review, and you seemed more positive about SITH. Have you reexamined your assessment of the SW prequels? Or did I just misread you?
"If I can!"? Yeah mariachi by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 07:22:53 AM
they're giving me a badge and everything. Maybe we can be friends if you talk about something besides poeticwarrior's pedophilia. He's not worth it anyway.
kungfucuntface.... by poeticwarriorIII	May 19th, 2008 07:23:14 AM
I'm pretty sure like most your fucking confused ilk you're dumber than a box of lice ridden pubic hair. I also see TheRealDoucheBag has seen fit to leave mariachi's dumb ass on here because I'm the so called bad guy. Seriously fuck all three of you fuck wad anal warts.
It'd be cool if Frank Darabont could post in his IJATKOTCS revie by Wayne6000	May 19th, 2008 07:24:38 AM
Most AICN readers who are admirers of scripts know Koepp is an extremely mediocre screenwriter and since writer - director Frank Darabont is a regular AICN reader, it'd be cool if he could post in his review of the finished film, but after getting fucked over with his Indy 4 script, I don't expect he will.
woah poeticwarrior by kungfuhustler84	May 19th, 2008 07:28:31 AM
so poetic. this is goodbye man. I have no more words for you. And the word "cunt" may not be as funny as you think it is. Try getting some therapy man, or some sleep..
Ummm Mori i state clearly above I think this review is excellent by IndustryKiller!	May 19th, 2008 07:29:12 AM
I don't know where you got that it bothered me from. My praise of CHUDS reviews is not a condemnation of yours. I know that this is a mixed and even handed account of what you saw, but given I think this film should be held to a higher standard it really echoes pretty negatively. Like I said maybe thats because I wasn't old enough when Crusade came out to not realize how weak an entry it was but I still think this is a completely unnecessary movie and the only reason to make it would be because it's genuinely the best sequel. And Maybe evidence wasn't the correct word, but Devins review over at CHUD is the most complete I have read thus far, citing clear examples from the film and I don't think it's bullshit simply because it's negative.
Fav Indy moment..... by KnightEternal	May 19th, 2008 07:34:52 AM
.....map room sequence in ROTLA followed closely by CMB.....Chilled Monkey Brains!
I wanna monkey head with disposable skull cap :( by KnightEternal	May 19th, 2008 07:36:17 AM

Fav indy moment by kwisatzhaderach	May 19th, 2008 07:38:03 AM
Opening of the Ark, followed by map room, shooting the swordsman, rope bridge and mine chase.
today's moviegoing audience doesnt get pulp by bacci40	May 19th, 2008 07:42:41 AM
so fuck today's moviegoing audience and lack of both film and literary history...raiders was pulp...raiders was a 40's serial on steroids....i wasnt born in the 40s, but i knew pulp and serials...so now both are ancient history, so why bother? why do people have the internet? you can watch many of the old serials on line and free...you dont have to get into obscure pulps, but are you telling me that people have never read doc savage or the shadow pulp collections? and i still dont get how mori ranks temple of doom over the last crusade...but whatever
Devin's "review" is not bullshit because it's negative... by acorvey25	May 19th, 2008 07:47:32 AM
...it's bullshit because of its spiteful bias. Mori's review is much more "complete" because it's fair, balanced, and has no ulterior motives.
So Mori is the FoxNews of Internet reviewers? by chrth	May 19th, 2008 07:55:12 AM
that's a joke people
Ew... by acorvey25	May 19th, 2008 07:58:20 AM
You're right. I shouldn't use that phrase.
David Koepp has written one good script by Samuel Fulmer	May 19th, 2008 08:00:35 AM
Carlito's Way. Everything else suffers from terrible third acts, even the films he directs (Secret Window).
Before Ford retires by Samuel Fulmer	May 19th, 2008 08:02:59 AM
I'd like to see him do a non-Indiana Jones film with Speilberg, and another film with Peter Weir.
Papa's got a brand new mixed bag by Hawaiian Organ Donor	May 19th, 2008 08:03:55 AM
So it's not the movie we wanted, but after the prequels, it's also not the movie we expected. I can live with that. I'm going on Saturday morning with the same group of guys I saw Last Crusade in the theater with and I feel fairly confident we'll all have a good time and spend the afternoon discussing the movie on my deck with a tub of Coronas. As far as bringing back 80s icons, I still have to say that Stallone deserves more love than he's received and Lucas could learn a thing or two from Sly. Rocky Balboa was much better than I expected and every frame showcased his passion for the characters and gave them a truly dignified send off. I just watched Rambo last night and he pulled it off again. I don't think there's ever been an action movie quite like it. To say I was breathless the entire time is an understatement. I would have watched it again but it took me so long to get through it the first time as I re-watched several scenes a dozen times. And Spielberg is the master of the "hushed audience" scene. The T-Rex attack and the D-Day landing are the last two I was a part of and both of those were last decade. Filmmakers today just don't know how to pull it off.
sigh by jae683	May 19th, 2008 08:25:14 AM
I long for the days when 'it was an ok' movie wasn't the norm. I still think the late 70s, early 80s was the high point for sci-fi and fantasy films. The special effects were good enough to get the job done but not so much that they took over the film. I'm convinced today's directors have gotten lazy because of them.
For anyone who's been disappointed with genre films... by rbatty024	May 19th, 2008 08:48:06 AM
of the past two decades, what do you think have been the best. I think the first Pirates movie was phenomenal. It had a wonderfully clever script that kept a long running time from falling in on itself and a fine performance from Johnny Depp. The second two films were major disappointments but that doesn't affect my love for the first. I also think Spider-Man 2 was a masterfully directed film. It was Sam Raimi telling the audience, "fuck you, I can do anything." It was kind of like a history of cinema in two hours. Over the years those two have really held up for me.
I agree jae by The Mothman	May 19th, 2008 08:53:30 AM
"It was OK" to me means "maybe, just maybe worth seeing on DVD". Hell, people thought Cloverfield was "OK", and I thought that was an abomination. It's not too much to ask that an Indy film should be a hell of a lot more than OK. I'll see it in the next few days, but I found those CHUD reviews fairly worded, and expect to have a similar reaction. They seem jaded, and I don't blame them. Bruce Willis in 12 Monkeys says 'the movie doesn't change, you change'. That may be so, but I can still watch and enjoy the older Indys without loading up on nostaliga first. The nostaliga occurs when you're halfway through watching one and you realise how fucking good they still are. Alas, it seems that the Berg and Lucas have, well, changed.
"hushed audience" scene by Samuel Fulmer	May 19th, 2008 08:54:21 AM
I'd include the trailer hanging over the cliff scene from Lost World.
Looking forward to the day when... by Mr. Nice Gaius	May 19th, 2008 08:54:51 AM
...po'warriorII is forced to come back as po'warriorIII. He's a completely useless Talkbacker.
And yes, I can spell 'nostalgia' when I feel up to it. by The Mothman	May 19th, 2008 08:55:26 AM
Dang it.
Fuck yeah, That's more like it! by Proman1984	May 19th, 2008 08:59:15 AM

I love how you guys are both griping about Indy being inconseque by somewhere.in.finland	May 19th, 2008 08:59:33 AM
When in Raiders, Indy is pretty much inconsequential to the whole plot. If you watch, nothing he does to protect the ark works in the end, and the nazis are just done in by their own stupidity. He spends the climax of that film tied to a post for heaven's sake! I still love the film though, probably even more for it.
another "hushed audience" scene in Lost World by chrth	May 19th, 2008 09:07:29 AM
I thought the scene where they were crossing the high grass and the raptors were taking people out sight-unseen was extremely well done. Sadly, they followed it up with gymnastics.
If Devins review is biased by IndustryKiller!	May 19th, 2008 09:11:47 AM
he certainly manages to back it up with excellent examples. When you see the film I would love to see you take him on point for point. I'd bet large sums of money you couldn't.
Crusade by jsm1978	May 19th, 2008 09:13:21 AM
I liked Crusade. My biggest problem with it was always it's horrific case of "omniscient bad guy syndrome". I'd have to say Doom was always my least favorite.
somewhere.in.finland: you're forgetting that by chrth	May 19th, 2008 09:13:35 AM
he actually finds the Ark.

Talkbacks

Moriarty Reviews INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL!