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Official Character Shots From The G.I. JOE Movie Overrun The Net!!

Pretty stupid by ragunax	May 8th, 2008 09:17:33 AM
They all look the same, the pictures are a bore, etc. Nothing that makes me go: "Wow, I'm excited for this movie."
Breaker? Ripcord? by chrth	May 8th, 2008 09:17:36 AM
These names don't sound familiar to me
And are Tomax and Xamot in this? by chrth	May 8th, 2008 09:18:19 AM
They better be.
Neato I guess by David Cloverfield	May 8th, 2008 09:19:43 AM
I hope they make it really campy
And release a pic of Destro with the mask? by chrth	May 8th, 2008 09:21:21 AM
Does anyone care what Destro looks like underneath the mask?
That should've said 'And why release a pic...without the mask' by chrth	May 8th, 2008 09:21:59 AM
Don't know what happened there
Marlon Wayans! by Mr.Meanie	May 8th, 2008 09:22:30 AM
sweet!
Body massage? by Falling_Gruber	May 8th, 2008 09:22:39 AM
Too much black going on with these costumes. And I hope Destro gets a shiny face. Scarlett is all kinds of hot but what's with Storm Shadow's skirt? He looks like a snowtrooper.
Dig it. by tile_mcgillus	May 8th, 2008 09:23:05 AM
Looks sweet. Let the cries of rapped childhoods begin.
Stephen Sommers is the American Uwe Boll by The Dude Abides	May 8th, 2008 09:23:18 AM
This looks like a turd sandwich. Why are they all dressed in black?
Mr Ecko left LOST for this horseshit? by BanAllFIRSTPosters	May 8th, 2008 09:23:24 AM
Oaf.
And the colour of the day is... black. How fucking dull. by ODM	May 8th, 2008 09:25:56 AM

Where the fuck is Cobra by testricals	May 8th, 2008 09:28:32 AM
!!
COBRA COMANDER FOOTAGE HERE: by slone13	May 8th, 2008 09:28:33 AM
http://tinyurl.com/2yg7af That guy is one mean motherfucker.
Was AICN the only site not to get by INWOsuxRED	May 8th, 2008 09:28:39 AM
it's own G.I.Joe pic? I'm shocked this post wasn't used to rip on Sommers and talk about how shitty this movie will be. It will be shitty, but if AICN got some exclusives, they wouldn't bash it.
Just plain awful. by Nice Marmot	May 8th, 2008 09:29:49 AM
I know, it's fucking G.I.Joe by Sommers, I should have known and written this off already, but MY GOD do most of these look retarded. They're really all dressing like Snakeyes? Really? REALLY? And Destro wouldn't be done any worse if they made him a 17 year old red-headed chick in a Hotdog on a Stick uniform.
Rubber Perv Fest by Pondscum	May 8th, 2008 09:32:01 AM
Oh yeah baby! GI Blow will be the most parodied Hollywood film by the porn community. In a year's time, expect there to be numerous straight / gay / bdsm porn vids with a GI JOE theme. The internet will be awash with pornstars dressed in latex holding guns with names like - Ass Breaker, Heavy Booty and Rip Jawed - yep, these films will blow too, but in a good way. GI Ho! - A real American Gonzo!
Considering the talkbacks for those leaked pics by blindambition238	May 8th, 2008 09:32:15 AM
Its really no surprise that AICN didnt get any love.
That's it, I'm out! by LHombreSiniestro	May 8th, 2008 09:34:04 AM
They had me from the Snake Eyes pictures....then I got a bad taste in my mouth seeing Dennis Quaid and others...but popped a boner for that chick who's playing Scarlet, although I hate the fact she dont wear yellow. But these pics..... that's it, my excitement level is pretty damn nil on this one. What a shame.
Is 'Breaker' a Universal Soldier? by blindambition238	May 8th, 2008 09:34:29 AM

Ehhhh... by Sailor Rip	May 8th, 2008 09:35:01 AM
...I'm hoping that these are not their "regular uniforms." The whole point of GI JOE is a group of diversly skilled mean and women in fucking rediculuos outfits.
So they decided to go the Xmen way... by Johnno	May 8th, 2008 09:39:00 AM
What next? I swear if i see Shipwreck in a black uniform I'm gonna freak!
Storm Shadow? by Spyhunter	May 8th, 2008 09:39:19 AM
LOL that is horrendous looking. Staying true to the source material or not, unless he's fighting in a snowstorm there's nothing stealthy about that costume. That said, I'll probably still go see it just to laugh with friends and kill some time.
Wonder if the Speed Racers hater will love this movie? by captboulder	May 8th, 2008 09:39:46 AM
They probably will sense the colors are drab and won't scare them! And since the uniforms are black, they won't have to rely on their imaginations!
Sucks by Abominable Snowcone	May 8th, 2008 09:40:31 AM
just too much black leather. None of 'em look much like their comic book dopplegangers except Baroness. And where's Destro's chrome dome? I don't ever remember him looking normal. Plus, Destro's not supposed to be an aging, weak-looking white man.
At least Marlon has a better nickname in this by rem2525	May 8th, 2008 09:41:19 AM
Here again, Marlon Wayans is cast in a giant dung-pile of a movie with now way to dig himself out. Maybe this time will be different. He'll die saving some grown-ass man instead of some goofy little white dude who calls him "snails"
Wow by krish-0	May 8th, 2008 09:42:14 AM
I'm usually the last person you'll see bashing a movie before its released, because I like to give things the benefit of the doubt. You really shouldn't judge a film based only on trailers or stills. But these look fucking terrible. Wow. And I can't wait to see Storm Shadow try and Ninja Dissapear around all that black. What the fuck.
What the fuck are you kids doing on my lawn? by Durendal	May 8th, 2008 09:42:27 AM
Go on, get 'im outta there, ya little wankers!
meh...not great...not horrible....finger crossed by FleshMachine	May 8th, 2008 09:42:27 AM
that this wll be a cool/fun/serious film.
looks like shit by Rat Fink	May 8th, 2008 09:44:25 AM

BUT WILL THE GUNS SHOOT BEAM OR BULLETS?!?! by SkidMarkedUndies	May 8th, 2008 09:47:56 AM
That's all that matters now.
Black plastic armor! by rev_skarekroe	May 8th, 2008 09:48:05 AM
Couldn't they have at least done army green plastic armor? Just to be different from every other action movie from the last 10 years?
*BEAMS by SkidMarkedUndies	May 8th, 2008 09:48:16 AM
Damn enter key.
Looks like someone failed "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" by kdoc13	May 8th, 2008 09:49:04 AM
Because Duke looks seriously gay.
This does not feel like the GI JOE of my youth by wilsonfisk89	May 8th, 2008 09:49:36 AM
Hours spent converting backyards into epic, destructive, battles, and imagining such a film, seeing this deflates that childhood imagination. These are bad.
And Just So You Know.... by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 09:50:53 AM
Before the Attack... Every Character Will Now Be Wearing All Black! http://tinyurl.com/5u3wz8
Wow! Heros in black leather and shit! by Wee Willie	May 8th, 2008 09:53:48 AM
I've NEVER seen that before. When I was a kid, my friends and I made fun of our peers that were into the G.I. Joe cartoon. We called them retards. Oddly, the grew up and became the Bush administration. Coincidence?
I don't mean to be a killjoy to all you haters by krushjudgement	May 8th, 2008 09:57:01 AM
But they look exactly like a fucking GIJOE toy would look! Isn't that what they are?
Hahahahaha! by Frankenbastard	May 8th, 2008 10:01:44 AM
I've seen better Ben Cooper costumes. To bad that the pic of Destro the studio decided to leak. I dad not seen the Storm Shadow one yet...look at those pants. Too fuckin funny. Nice nod with the original Gi Joe scar in one of the pics though.
Fondeled Childhood by santi01	May 8th, 2008 10:01:46 AM
I'm sure this movie will rape my childhood, but these pics are definitely fondeling my childhood until it opens.
this ain't yo grandma's GI JOE by Captain Justice	May 8th, 2008 10:03:57 AM
It's yo morbid, nu metal loving cousins GI JOE. Van Helsing will seem like a pleasant dream after this shitfest.
They're making another GI Joe movie? by DarwinNYC	May 8th, 2008 10:04:02 AM
I hope it's as cool as this one. http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v= cEvmJuSgDiA If Joe and Cobra ain't shooting red and blue lasers, I ain't watching.
No Node32774 it may replace Van Helsing by nerosday	May 8th, 2008 10:04:50 AM
as the worst movie of all time, that shit made Ed Wood look like a genius.
Actually, I'm going to rant a little more. by rev_skarekroe	May 8th, 2008 10:04:59 AM
The Transformers movie designs were craptacular, it's true, but at least they were IMAGINATIVELY craptacular. These are lazy craptacular. It's like they were designed by marketing people. "They have to be black! Tests show black indicates toughness to the 16-24 year old market. Also, military colors test negative during unpopular wars. The suits also need to be rubber, as the success of The Matrix, X-Men, and Batman Begins show 12% boost in opening weekend grosses for any film with rubber costumes. They should have modular snap-on parts, as "suiting up" scenes rate highly with test audiences in flyover states." Now, I don't feel like my childhood is raped or anything (I just don't care that much about G.I. Joe), but I am offended at the raw stupid hubris of Hollywood.
krushjudgement by rev_skarekroe	May 8th, 2008 10:06:14 AM
Have you ever seen a G.I. Joe toy? They're selling classic Joes at Wal-Mart now. Go take a look and tell me if most of these characters resemble the toys. Go ahead. I'll wait.
I think I'll skip this one. by rbatty024	May 8th, 2008 10:06:42 AM
Enough with the nostalgia retreads. If there's an interesting idea that needs an update, fine. Go for it. Otherwise, just lay off the childhood cartoons. Unless you're bringing Exosquad to the big screen. Hell, that cartoon had more violence than the new PG-13 Terminator will.
The fucking Ninja is the only one not in black by nerosday	May 8th, 2008 10:07:05 AM
Of course Storm Shadow isn't supposed to be, but does anyone find that ironic?
by redkamel	May 8th, 2008 10:07:13 AM
looks like Mortal Kombat.
Sienna Miller is HOT by Mr Slippy Fist	May 8th, 2008 10:08:06 AM
Damn, I will definitely pay to see her run around for 2 hours in black leather. Hopefully she can do the accent, but I keep getting a bad feeling she will open her mouth and sound as bad as Shannon Elizabeth from American Pie.
Nerosday, maybe SS's just that Fucking Good! by blindambition238	May 8th, 2008 10:10:48 AM
Ever thought of that, hmmm? Or maybe he operates in the Artic and assassinates penguins and polar bears.
Looks like unprocessed sewage by Hawaiian Organ Donor	May 8th, 2008 10:11:27 AM
I was never into GI Joe as a kid so I could give five shits about this movie but if you're going to go to the trouble of making it live action, why not put a little thought and creativity into the project. These costumes look like ass. I just don't understand why a studio can't cobble together people who are actually passionate enough for a project as to make it watchable.
Nerosday, Fantastic Point. by Mr Slippy Fist	May 8th, 2008 10:12:34 AM
They changed everybody else. If there is any realism, why not make Storm Shadow wear black. He must be a pretty shitty ninja if he is sneaking around in white. Wouldn't that be the 1st thing they teach at the dojo?
This doesnt look the way i remember by Lloyd Bonafide the Korean War Veteran	May 8th, 2008 10:13:23 AM
from my childhood. Am i missing something? X-men 4?
looks like aicn.com is no longer top of the heap by macgruder	May 8th, 2008 10:13:45 AM
seems they gave these other movie blog sites a character each. No love for Aint It Cool? whats up with that?
A Real American F#@K-UP by sirbroiler	May 8th, 2008 10:13:50 AM
Every time I come across these photos I cringe. They just look so stupid. I'm not saying they had to carbon copy the figures/cartoon/comics - but they could have come up with a close but realistic translation of the familiar look of these characters. Hasbro wouldn't go to all this trouble releasing the anniversary (same look updated feel) figures if they weren't convinced that there was deep fan recognition of these iconic images. The movie should have tried to do the same. Way to go Stephen.
If they have laser guns I swear I'll vomit. by nerosday	May 8th, 2008 10:14:05 AM

siena miller by FrenchDogBlues	May 8th, 2008 10:16:21 AM
my good god ... i am watching this film, if only for miller and a quick five knuckle shuffle i can get .... less awkward than tugging one out over austrian cellar pictures
blindambition238 SS is totally that good, the movie, eehh? by nerosday	May 8th, 2008 10:17:08 AM

so where's Tommy from 3rd Rock? by spidercoz	May 8th, 2008 10:18:01 AM
COBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Well, they're all pretty blah, but the test: can they act? by kevred	May 8th, 2008 10:19:16 AM
Realism or not, I just can't look at all-black and see GI Joe. I need to see green. I think Hollywood is losing its ability to film movies in different color palettes--a trend has seeped in where everything is drained of color. (Or maybe they just used it all in Speed Racer and there's none left over.) So, for the most part these look like random extras from Aliens...no, strike that, those actors were distinctive-looking and varied more in age, build, and weren't all models. And, they could act. That'll be the test for this flick. They're failing in 2-D; can they succeed in the next two dimensions?
This just in.. by Fortunesfool	May 8th, 2008 10:21:07 AM
No one gives a fuck about the new Stephen Sommers movie.
I dig Christopher Eccleston... by wraith777	May 8th, 2008 10:21:22 AM
as Destro. Dig Dennis Quaid as Hawk too. Baroness is hot, but Storm Shadow look worse than I did when I dressed up as him for Halloween in 84 in white long johns and some drunk guy called me underwear man...and why make Heavy Duty Heavy Duty and not Roadblock, I guess cause we'd bitch he didn't rhyme all the time...
We've got all we needed to know now. by Ghostball	May 8th, 2008 10:21:52 AM
Sommers will have had access to the best costume designers in the world, but instead he chose to go to people who thought it would a good idea come up with... well... these.
macgruder by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 10:23:06 AM
It's because they are afraid of us. When something looks like ass like these pics do, we speak on it.
Is Miss Jay & Tyra Banks doing costume design? by Annie The Pod Racer	May 8th, 2008 10:23:08 AM
Is Hollywood trying to make G.I.Joe fans into Bisexuals???Why do they all look so pretty instead of gritty? HOLLYWOOD FUCKS UP AGAIN...P.S. When you make the Voltron movie, could you actually use colors so I can tell the left leg from the right leg?
I'm actually diggin this shit by That 70s Venom	May 8th, 2008 10:24:49 AM
These costumes look tight as fuck. Especially Storm Shadow's.
Why doesn't Destro... by Sithdan	May 8th, 2008 10:25:50 AM
look like Destro? Doesn't he have a metalic head?
Destro w/ No mask = Flames On Prime by zooch	May 8th, 2008 10:26:06 AM
They got Snake Eyes right. It gave me hope for this film. Now consider that hope GONE. These look SHITTY. Black leather looks GAY. Marlon Wayans has chicken legs. We want the cartoon look, not some update to try and make them look "cool". This is going be AWFUL. Worse than Transformers.
I was never the Transformers hater... by nerosday	May 8th, 2008 10:27:31 AM
I used to think the guys that went nuts and raged about the tweaks and changes to the characters were funny as hell in the talkbacks, I mean why would this guy get his nipples in a twist about flames on Optimus. I realize now why I thought that was funny. I was not a Transformers kid, sure I had them, but my favorite toys the things I had to have nearly every one of with zealous desire was GI Joe. Seeing this at an odd level physically makes me angry, at a point beyond reason or logic it just chafes my ass. Sorry Transformers guys, I kind of think I get it now.
This group by Abominable Snowcone	May 8th, 2008 10:30:47 AM
will do to GI Joe what Dolph Lundgren did for He Man in 1986, which is to say, they'll take a hot steamy turd on all that is Joe. He Man I didn't care about in the first place, but this is kinda sad.
Calm the fuck down. by micturatingbenjamin	May 8th, 2008 10:31:07 AM
Look, SWAT guys wear black, the SAS wears black. Black is the color of choice for special ops. So, you'd all PREFER Destro with a fat rope chain and a big ass ruby medallion? You're fucking delusional. Black is used for Batman because...GASP...he's dressed in black in the comics. Black was used in the Matrix...and set a trend. The X-Men looked good in their stupid black outfits because a yellow and blue Wolverine with giant head-wings would have been fucking stupid looking. That said, Storm Shadow has fucking tails. That's hilarious. He's got his top-hat, cane, and a pocket full of throwing stars. Duke looks gay, though, and Destro without a mask is kind of shitty...but how the hell would you put THOSE ears in a mask..damn!
Node32774 by FrenchDogBlues	May 8th, 2008 10:31:20 AM
the mummy????
Also... by micturatingbenjamin	May 8th, 2008 10:33:16 AM
You'd better fucking get your special crow-eating plates, because like Transformers, this is gonna do big bank with dumbfuck parents bringing their kids who will think that this is GI JOE. I predict 100 mil easy for this shitburger.
What in the hell? by MC-909	May 8th, 2008 10:33:36 AM
Gay I. Joe. Where in THE FUCK is Destro's shiny head???? How could they screw that up? And did anyone read the synopsis to Breaker's character: "...he enjoys chewing bubblegum even in intense situations" These motherfuckers looked at the original packaging for the toys and came up with that bullshit. I grew up with GI Joe and Transformers and while I actually liked the Transformers updates this GI Joe crap is the lamest fucking thing I've ever seen. I hope Steven Somers gets run over with a Havoc. Fuck you, dude.
Destro's head by rev_skarekroe	May 8th, 2008 10:35:34 AM
Word is, he doesn't get the mask until later in the movie. There are spoiler script reviews floating around the net if you're interested.
haha by FrenchDogBlues	May 8th, 2008 10:35:42 AM
never saw this show as a kid .... english and all ... but by god ... it looks very popcorn friendly, and i am going to watch it, and probably enjoy it a lot ...
LOL!!!! by BRUTICUS	May 8th, 2008 10:36:49 AM
Could Destro atleast be Bald? buff? Every character is WAY TOO CLEAN looking. What is this the Street Fighter movie all over again?
The Best Outfit for Baroness to Wear! by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 10:37:44 AM
http://tinyurl.com/6g8k3b Actually, it should be pretty easy. She's naked.
NIPPLES! FLAMES! ALL I SEE ARE NIPPLES AND FLAMES!!! by INWOsuxRED	May 8th, 2008 10:37:59 AM
and a ninja in tuxedo tails, and "Destro" with no Destro outfit. Poor Doctor Who, he looks fine for a movie villian, but everyone has expectations as to what the character is and should look like, and Sommers is just way too stupid to figure it out.
About the spec ops and black... by nerosday	May 8th, 2008 10:38:03 AM
I always saw Joe as more of a Delta Force style team. The real Delta actually usually wears the standard army uniform, but with tweaks and customizations. They are allowed to go nonstandard, with bike helmets, personalized armor, and kit. That really would've worked great for GI Joe. I don't think the idea of these speed and strength increasing suits fits with the GI joe story, these guys are elite on their own, let them just be bad asses without making them uber men.
GI JOE could have easily translated to the big screen by zooch	May 8th, 2008 10:40:36 AM
No reason to change a whole lot. What the fuck?
6.7/10 imdb.com by FrenchDogBlues	May 8th, 2008 10:40:50 AM
66,289 people don't lie, it was better than average ... but then again xmen 3 got a 7.0, and that is quite possibly the biggest piece of shit i have ever seen in my life
btw by FrenchDogBlues	May 8th, 2008 10:41:18 AM
i have seen starship troopers 2 and club dread
Fuck Stephen Sommers by MC-909	May 8th, 2008 10:42:08 AM
You know who would have been a perfect choice for director for a GI Joe movie: Joel freakin' Schumacher.
WHERE IS SNOW-JOB by la_sith	May 8th, 2008 10:42:36 AM

There's no "Cobra" in the movie because by themikejonas	May 8th, 2008 10:42:56 AM
...it's basically Cobra's origin story.
DESTRO by mikegator	May 8th, 2008 10:43:25 AM
Why no mask? This is absolutely stupid. Why on Earth would a studio think that changing the costumes from the cartoon/toys that EVERYBODY loved, would make us want to see the movie? Are they really that dumb? It's almost as if they don't care if they ruin perfectly good opportunities to tell fun stories and make a lot of money doing it. ....and they complain about movies getting torn apart by internet people like us......
SNOW-JOB by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 10:44:20 AM
-snicker- And will he be wearing all black?
mikegator by FrenchDogBlues	May 8th, 2008 10:44:29 AM
the problem is, no matter how much they change this, it will make shit loads of money, and this will be a long line in g.i. joe movies
When Worlds Collide by Shepard Wong	May 8th, 2008 10:44:35 AM
I can't wait to see how he's going to butcher that. Has this guys worked on a single original intelectual property in his career?
I woud suspect Snake Eyes and Scarlet by Shut the Fuck up Donny	May 8th, 2008 10:44:45 AM
were probably supposed to be saved for last to offset most of these costuming atrocities. This would explain why AICN is penalized: They gave us dessert before dinner. Now I get to look forward to liver and onions.
This is garbage. by Pariah74	May 8th, 2008 10:45:09 AM
So the fans will hate it, and the non-fans will ignore it because of its mediocrity. Way to go Hollywood. You watched Iron Man come and please everyone and learned nothing.
Destro better get his chrome dome by dopepope	May 8th, 2008 10:45:44 AM
later on in the movie, or else don't fucking bother having him in the movie. He never had a normal head with hair in the comics or cartoon, why have it that way for the movie? So fucking stupid. And I don't recall Storm Shadow dressing in Prada. But whatever.
What A Terrible Costume Design by Jim Halpert	May 8th, 2008 10:47:51 AM
These are far worse than the X-Men costumes. At least the X-Men had different powers to differentiate them from the others in the group. Now each of the Joes will look just like Snake Eyes, shooting the same black Uzi laser rifle in the same basic black ensemble.
Yes, Actually by zooch	May 8th, 2008 10:48:31 AM
"So, you'd all PREFER Destro with a fat rope chain and a big ass ruby medallion?" Would have been better than these.
new street fighter pic out by FrenchDogBlues	May 8th, 2008 10:49:05 AM
chun li looks hot http://tinyurl.com/6dhed9
Directed by Stephen Sommers??? by Motoko Kusanagi	May 8th, 2008 10:49:40 AM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I didn't knew that! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Looks terrible. by Mysterious Yobo	May 8th, 2008 10:49:58 AM

Friendly fire warning! by GodMars	May 8th, 2008 10:50:07 AM
Everyone wears black, shoot'em all!
ABANDON FAILBOAT by ohjeez	May 8th, 2008 10:51:27 AM
This is going to suck so hard. look for it straight to DVD.
This looks like the sequel to Street Fighter ... by JKrow21	May 8th, 2008 10:58:15 AM
Bring back Raul's zombie Bison corpse to head Cobra.
And I guess this already steaming pile... by Motoko Kusanagi	May 8th, 2008 10:58:53 AM
...of $hit will be rated PG-13? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
lo and behold by MC-909	May 8th, 2008 11:00:01 AM
The costume designer DID work on Starship Troopers. I guess she had a few extra Johnny Rico getups stashed out in the garage.
kung fu panda trailer online by FrenchDogBlues	May 8th, 2008 11:04:27 AM
http://tinyurl.com/2w4apm
G.I. KOMBAT -FANBASE ANNIHALATION....FOR FUCK'S SAKE DO THESE PE by riddleman1674	May 8th, 2008 11:08:37 AM
Jesus why didn't they just cast Christopher fucking Lambert as Destro while they're busy shitting all over this property!! I mean because he looked sooooo much like Rayden right? Fuck and since we're making all the Joes wear ultra cool "something new and groundbreaking"...gasp BLACK FUCKING RUBBER SUITS (because that's never been done before right?).....throw one on Cobra Commnder too! Why the fuck not?? Then we wont be able to tell who's fighting who! My 3 year old nephew could come up with a more creative costume design! If this schlock actually makes money (which sadly it fucking will, due to the thousands of fucking zombie suburban families out there who could give a fuck about the characters or good story telling for that matter) I'm sure later down the line we'll get to see Serpentor as an actual snake, because a man dressed in a snake suit just "wouldn't translate on camera"....well neither does all this shit, you oblivious "got yer dollar goggles on" corporate fuckheads!!! WAKE THE FUCK UP. whew I need a drink....
riddleman1674 by FrenchDogBlues	May 8th, 2008 11:11:46 AM
virgin by my guessing, and real life sex dolls dont count
I bet cobra commander will be green.. by StupidAndUgly	May 8th, 2008 11:11:56 AM
because snakes are green not blue. This is worse than the Transformers and they were horrible!
I didn't know Seal was in this!!! by Kloipy	May 8th, 2008 11:13:31 AM
Awesome!
No metal head for Destro???? by Yeti	May 8th, 2008 11:14:11 AM
I haven't been this disapointed since I found out that Soundwave wasn't going to be in last years Transformers movie.
Stormshadow in a tux? by evil master foo	May 8th, 2008 11:15:30 AM
Why does Stormshadow look like he dresses from Tux and Tails? Is he some kind of Ninja butler? I don't get it?
I'm still too deep in the warm after glow of Iron Man by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 11:15:38 AM
to appreciate this piece of dogshit.
FrenchDogBlues by riddleman1674	May 8th, 2008 11:16:32 AM
Good one there French haha, yeah does sound like I'm a candidate for the sequel to the 40 Year old Virgin. lol Just so tired of these movies being pumped out on the shit assembly line. Just amazes me that these people cant see clearly in fornt of them and use a little more creativity with all the millions of dollars they have to waste. Key word waste, haha
Stormshadow by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 11:17:04 AM
looks really cheap. Make all the lame main characters look cool and modern, and fucking downgrade who is actually one of the few great characters in the mythos. Assholes.
Destro aside by zooch	May 8th, 2008 11:17:25 AM
the outfits from the cartoon were pretty normal looking army guy type clothing.
Just got off the phone with Stephen Sommers... by Motoko Kusanagi	May 8th, 2008 11:18:31 AM
I told him to fuck himself.
black latex is the new solid gold by JRKerr	May 8th, 2008 11:18:37 AM
what monkey watched the ratner x-men movies too many times? motherpusbucket thats the wrong way to go. I pray that someone authorizes CG painting all that black back into tan and green the way it is supposed to be. ffs!
riddleman1674 by FrenchDogBlues	May 8th, 2008 11:18:46 AM
i am english, so we never had g.i. joe over here, so i find it quite funny all these people seem to be putting themselves into an early grave about something they can do nothing about ...
Destro by Spacekicker2001	May 8th, 2008 11:19:41 AM
it's played by Eccleston and even without the mask (which would probably look dumb) he looks awesome.
Herb West those naked Miller pics were great! by captboulder	May 8th, 2008 11:21:09 AM
Since Sienna Miller don't have any issue about nudity, I say let her ass be naked 99.9% in GI JOE! Make it a parody like Not Another Teen Movie and watch the million$ roll in! Hell even have Marlon Wayan play the buffon like he accustomed too! That way they can make a little money off this disaster!
They could've still done this right... by Johnno	May 8th, 2008 11:22:37 AM
They could've used the original costumes and maintained the colours and style while still making them practical and contemporary, heck they weren't that crazy to begin with in the first place.... Hell just look at what Watchmen is doing! See? All this is a result of your complaining about Speed Racer "OHHH NOES TOO COLOURFUL! MINE EYES!!!", well I hope your'e fucking happy because I'm officially declaring it your fault!
This Will Bite! Storm Shadow has Tails? by BilboRing	May 8th, 2008 11:25:46 AM
Is he wearing a white tuxedo jacket? LOL!!!!! Dude, this is going to suck balls. I have no interest in this crap at all. My 2 favorite childhood toy memories are transformers and GI Joe. Transformers was a piece of shit movie. Will this suck too? Oh yes it will.
Destro remindes of Dennis Hopper by Sithdan	May 8th, 2008 11:26:35 AM
when he played Bowser in the Super Mario Bros. abomination. Wasn't Bowser supposed to be some kind of mutant snapping turtle? In that movie he was a damn humanoid man. Although Destro isn't a mutant, he doesn't look anything like the actor portraying him. How disappointing. I hope at least Cobra Commander has a helmet. I prefer the helmet over the hood.
How Clark W. Griswold might react. by nerosday	May 8th, 2008 11:29:33 AM
Sommers. Yeah. I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?. God, I love that. (sigh) the last time Chevy Chase was funny.
Holy crap, Kloipy was here! by Abominable Snowcone	May 8th, 2008 11:30:36 AM
Howz it going?
Um, you can't plunder something that was fucking terrible in the by Pdorwick	May 8th, 2008 11:30:58 AM
Seriously, have you seen these cartoons recently? It's fascism for beginners.
...in the first place by Pdorwick	May 8th, 2008 11:31:46 AM
...is what I meant to say
FrenchDogBlues by riddleman1674	May 8th, 2008 11:32:35 AM
Haha well I'm all American and don't you also find it funny what kind of a moron we have running our country. Embarassing really. So all we deprived Americans have to take our mind off of shit we can do nothing about is a little entertainment, but what happens when you have morons running the white house AND morons running Hollywood. Alot of frustration haha. Just a little insight from the West bud. BTW how's the weather on the other side of the world?
In the movie do they by Abominable Snowcone	May 8th, 2008 11:32:40 AM
fight over tubeworms while gathering the DNA needed to create Serpentor? Do they shoot red and blue lasers that go, "Bee-yew! Bee-yew!"
Pork Chop Sandwiches! by GrandMuffTarkin	May 8th, 2008 11:34:29 AM
Throwing some digicam or multicam on someone, please.
If you think those pictures are funny by Samus Aran	May 8th, 2008 11:36:54 AM
Read the article surrounding the picture of Duke which aggresively praises the actor and design. The writer descibes "his" childhood love of GI Joe, and is amazed by how these picture bring to life everything "he" imagined. I'm sure "he" immediately recognized Duke when "he" first saw the picture without anyone telling "him". "He" then proceeds to describe the actor as a heart-throb. My heart is not throbbing. Exactly who is this writer speaking to? The millions of female GI Joe fans? Is Hollywood seriously run by such powerful incompetence? Anyway read that article around Duke for a good laugh, or whatever you call it. Actually I feel like Butters when Mrs. Garrison was looking for her penis, my brains are hurting.
nerosday....that fucking NAILS it!! LOL by riddleman1674	May 8th, 2008 11:37:46 AM
We need to stand behind the Griswold speech! Laughing my ass off over here. Fucking Sommers! Where's our Christmas bonus??!! I want to put in a pool so we can sink this film shit stock in buried chest along with Sommers and the rest of this production ala Jumanji style LOL let it tenderize for decade like Batman and someone with half a brain will come along, whipe off the nipples and flames and make the right movie! Dare to dream huh? haha
Which one has Kung Fu Grip? by Kid Z	May 8th, 2008 11:38:04 AM
... And of course all the masked characters will find some reason to take off their masks and/or lose their masks during the final big battle scenes at the end of the movie, just like Spider-Man in 1, 2 and 3 (where he wore the damn mask for about 5 minutes) and Iron Man and Iron-Monger (which, for armored characters was REALLY stupid!)
Porkchop Sandwiches by Flint_Ironstag	May 8th, 2008 11:39:10 AM
Awful. Just awful. This movie needs a reset button. How can you fuck up the Baroness? I mean you put a hot, dark haired, sultry looking girl in black leather with glasses and you got it. Slap a red Cobra logo on her tits and you are set. I've seen a better Baroness at the cons. Good way to tank a career.
God does this look stupid by Harry Bolzonnia	May 8th, 2008 11:41:23 AM
It seems like their purposely fucking up GI Joe, And another thing, GI Joe is an American Product, much like Superman. I know they make these movies for an international market but their ignoring the roots of the creations. By removing the american flag and anyother references to american their stripping these franchises of their identity. Im no gung ho patriot but what is fucking wrong with a little pride for our country now and then.
and knowing what to avoid by palewook	May 8th, 2008 11:41:33 AM
is half the battle..
This looks Street Fighter bad. Is JCVD in this? by anchorite	May 8th, 2008 11:43:18 AM
If not, he should fire his agent. If he still has one, that is. My prediction: this movie will be so bad that it will die at the box office after the first weekend, and will make Steven Sommers finally disappear. So in that way, it's a good thing.
Oh. My. Stars! This. Looks. Like. Hell. by ZeroCorpse	May 8th, 2008 11:43:44 AM
GIJINO. Destro with no mask is the worst choice of all, but they all suck. Baroness just looks like some white chick wearing glasses -- She doesn't have that "Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS" look about her at all. Marlon Wayons is laughable. Poor Quaid--- Probably going to be chewing the scenery. This looks like Street Fighter The Movie, or He-Man and the Masters of the Universe movie. It's got the reek of being nothing but a marketing tie-in. This is fodder for the side of Slurpy cups.
palewook by Abominable Snowcone	May 8th, 2008 11:45:35 AM
No shit, brother, you said it. As Sgt. Slaughter might say.
by huggerorange	May 8th, 2008 11:46:13 AM
destro should have the metallic head all the time..i dont remember in the cartoon him having a metallic mask to take off.. all the character's looks are wrong except baroness and snake eyes if you ask me. whats with all the radical changes and doesnt color exist in this universe?..Its more realistic if theyre all black...riiiight.
Looks like a cosplay at a convention by ricarleite	May 8th, 2008 11:52:02 AM

Storm Shadow in Sommers' GI Joe Movie is like... by Dr.Sonus	May 8th, 2008 11:52:21 AM
...Matthew Perry at the Apollo. C'mon folks, you knew it was coming. HI-YOOOOOOOOO!!
Riddleman by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 11:55:27 AM
Wow. You act embarrased to be American, to an Englishman who uses the world "French" in his talkback name, who earlier accused you of being a virgin. The complete pussyfacation of the American male continues. Turn of GI Joe cartoons and switch on the Teletubbies.
I can honestly say by Abominable Snowcone	May 8th, 2008 11:55:50 AM
I won't be seeing this. Not at the cinema, anyway. Yep, based on those photos alone.
Destro's gotten hold of the TARDIS?!?! by Kurutteru Yatsu	May 8th, 2008 11:56:03 AM
The Joes are _fucked_ now.
Marlon Wayans by Abominable Snowcone	May 8th, 2008 11:56:42 AM
The Little Miss Jamie Fox Stealth of 2008
G.I. Jew - Real American Hebrew!!!! by Annie The Pod Racer	May 8th, 2008 11:57:42 AM
Jonah Hill as Gung Ho.
Destro = Lame. by fiester	May 8th, 2008 11:59:20 AM
I'm diggin on Baroness though. Grrrrr.
Wait, wait - I Got more - Storm Shadow in Sommers' GI Joe Movie by Dr.Sonus	May 8th, 2008 11:59:23 AM
John Coffy eating a bowl of rice with Matthew Perry's chopsticks. I'll be here on Thursday,folks, but not Wednesday.
Storm Shadow in Sommers' GI Joe Movie is like... by Dr.Sonus	May 8th, 2008 12:02:08 PM
Wesley Snipes with a Q-tip.
Brunomac - "pussyfacation"? by ZeroCorpse	May 8th, 2008 12:02:41 PM
I'd rather be "pussified" and socially conscious than to be a knuckle-dragging misogynist that doesn't know how to spell "pussification."
Storm Shadow in Sommers' GI Joe Movie is like... by Dr.Sonus	May 8th, 2008 12:03:41 PM
The first Snowflake on Oakland.
GI Joe official soundtrack song list by Abominable Snowcone	May 8th, 2008 12:04:33 PM
1 Meet the Joes 2 Scarlett Blows Breaker 3 Rise of Cobra Commander 4 Scarlett's Theme (Shower Scene) 5 Heavy Duty's Noble End 6 Scraping Ripcord from the Tarmac 7 Enter Duke--Into the Ladies Locker Room 8 Cover Girl Converts Scarlett 9 Snake-Eyes Theme (3:39 of silence) 10 Storm Shadow's Electric Boogaloo 11 Family Secret Revealed: Brother Ninjas 12 And She's My Sister 13 Hawk's Noble End 14 Cobra Commander Falls in the Acid Bath 15 Lesbian Kisses 16 Seeing Venom In Destro's Eyes 17 Emergency Call to Zartan 18 Breaker's Ultimate Sacrifice 19 Bee-yew Bee-yew Bee-yew! 20 GI Joe Battle Rap 21 Duke Bites It / Funeral for a Joe 22 Flint Arrives and Gets Pissed
I can see this coming off... by Archive	May 8th, 2008 12:04:45 PM
...a lot like Deep Rising. I'd be down for that kind of breezy comedy in a G.I. Joe film, actually.
Brunomac by riddleman1674	May 8th, 2008 12:05:19 PM
Chew ur tobacco and eat yer gumbo Bruno and when ur done, learn what a sense of humor is there guy haha. Never said I was embarrased to be an American, I'm embarrased of who represents us. If you can't read between the lines, I needn't bother wasting time explaining ;)
The Joes look like they are wearing by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 12:05:33 PM
hundred thousand dollar battle suits. Storm Shadow looks like fucking Cosplay at a cheap-ass L.A. Sci Fi con. You thought he was an angry ninja before...
Of course I've seen G.I.Joe toys by krushjudgement	May 8th, 2008 12:07:23 PM
I grew up in the 80's man. I'm telling you, these costumes look like toys. They look like toys. They look like G.I.Joe toys!
Zero by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 12:08:10 PM
I'd rather be "pussified" - 'nuff said.
Ha- "Storm Shadow Cosplay" "as bad as Street Fighter" by wilsonfisk89	May 8th, 2008 12:11:51 PM
Highlights of this thread
been reading this board for 10 years... by My best friend	May 8th, 2008 12:11:55 PM
and this is my first time writing. I can not believe that they are going to ruin this movie. This looks worse than if Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter had a celluloid kid. If I see Shipwreck in a black plastic hat i'm definitely not going to see it. I will personally drive from Nevada to Iowa to go dig up all of my buried GI Joes in the backyard of the house I was raised in and incinerate the little plastic heroes and go to therapy to forget that any of it was a real memory! What in the heck are they thinking? I can understand not having Wolverine in the yellow spandex, but this is really a bad idea. Might as well cast Dr. Phil as Dr. Mindbender and give him one of those black plastic suits. Might as well rename the movie M.A.S.H and let the old fogies get pissed off too.
And starring Raymond Calitri as.... Destro! by thebearovingian	May 8th, 2008 12:12:04 PM
The British woodworking baddie from Gone in 60 Seconds? Put a mask on that guy, would ya?!
This looks like total camp by Dogballs99	May 8th, 2008 12:12:10 PM

Riddleman by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 12:12:16 PM
Now where's your sense of humor? I find great humor on he geek chats. Only here can you find dudes like Zerocorpse, a mega-level geek who corrects people on words like "Pussification." Probably walks around correcting people on the correct pronunciation of "nuclear."
Storm Shadow in Sommers' GI Joe Movie is like... by Dr.Sonus	May 8th, 2008 12:12:16 PM
Mr. Stay Puft in a Blackhole.
rifdweather by FrenchDogBlues	May 8th, 2008 12:12:49 PM
it is sweltering .... i cant
riddleman - weather by FrenchDogBlues	May 8th, 2008 12:13:37 PM
it is sweltering .... i cant believe how hot it is about 24oC by my reckoning, and i am in the north .... so london will be about 28
Storm Shadow by Olsen Twins_Fan	May 8th, 2008 12:14:29 PM
My wife dressed up as a ninja for Halloween back in college just using stuff around the house, and she looked a little more realistic than that. Why the incessant coverage of this obvious turd-bomb? It looks like this will be right at home in the same category as the Street Fighter, Masters of the Universe, and TMNT movies.
This is the queer Joe from the 80"s. by dogphart3000	May 8th, 2008 12:14:41 PM
The nip killing GI Joe from the 60's was much better
Isn't the guys playng Destro "Mr. Papsmear" from Naked Gun by finky089	May 8th, 2008 12:15:43 PM
joking....sorta
My best friend by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 12:17:22 PM
After 10 years, them fucking up GI Joe get's you to chime in? What about the Star Wars prequel atrocities? The ass raping of Doctor Doom in the FF movie? All the horrible Video game movie adaptations? Seriously though, you are right. Although just toy marketing, I really loved some of the cartoons. Cheesy, yeah, but sometimes pretty smart. And you gotta love Sarge Slaughter holding his own against Serpentor. They really need a young Sarge look alike kicking ass in this movie.
Storm Shadow in Sommers' GI Joe Movie is like... by Dr.Sonus	May 8th, 2008 12:18:56 PM
Stuart Little at an Akon Concert
Dogpart by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 12:19:30 PM
Ha ha. Those larger, "nip killing" Joes were my first toys growing up. I think I even had a Japanese one with uniform and all.
Storm Shadow in Sommers' GI Joe Movie is like... by Dr.Sonus	May 8th, 2008 12:22:15 PM
Flava Flav and Stuart Little went to the Akon Concert. See what I did there? Good Night, everybody!
Brunomac by riddleman1674	May 8th, 2008 12:23:51 PM
Haha yeah I agree. Definately understandable. Animosity should be towards the assholes we're bitching about it talk balks but it is amusing to see who get worked up over what. Can't say I always keep my cool over shit like this GI Joe garbage, but after a good venting, it always helps to laugh it off because that's what Hollywood has become, laughable. Hell even the parody films are being raped nowadays. ala Date Movie, Epic Movie, Superhero Movie. Fuck when are we gonna see Movie Movie LOL
WHO is the guy playing Destro? by 4815162342	May 8th, 2008 12:24:09 PM
I've seen him somewhere before....
chrth by Abominable Snowcone	May 8th, 2008 12:25:47 PM
You have to go WAY back, to like issue 1 of the comic (which I had) to find Breaker and Ripcord. As the series when on, those guys faded into the background and became more homogenized as "cooler" Joes were introduced.
FrenchDogBlues bust out with the suntan lotion haha by riddleman1674	May 8th, 2008 12:27:01 PM
Sounds like yer in a virtual heatwave meltdown over there! My sympathies haha
Riddle by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 12:31:43 PM
I was just mad at ya for not striking back at at a dude who insulted you for bitching about this movie. I never understand that - as fans it's our god given right to bitch about the mishandling of stuff we like. It's like you can't rant anymore without someone calling you a virgin or a dork living in mom's basement or something. You are of course right, instead of creating new great memories, they really fuck up our beloved memories don't they? Yeah, when all is said and done we can only laugh it off. It's the only weapon we have against fandom-raping Hollywood.
Wait, Wait - I'm getting word...Yes, we have time for one more: by Dr.Sonus	May 8th, 2008 12:33:21 PM
Charlie Murphy took Mary Kate Olsen to a Black Panther Party on the Dark Side of the Moon. Darkness everyone, Darkness is Spreading!!
Bruno, I concur dude by riddleman1674	May 8th, 2008 12:37:27 PM
All good man. Good lookin out but actually what I was getting at was that even if someone wants to try an insult you (which in my opinion was a joke from French really) have fun with it ya know? Haha I did let loose in my first post, but I usually always do then go along with the laughs. As Nicholson once said in some movie far afar away. If ya gotta go, go with a smile, heheh.....
Did anyone else have some of those old school by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 12:37:43 PM
1960's/70's Joes? Before Kung fu grip, the dolls (and they weren't called action figures yet) had hands in two poses...one hand had two fingers out like holding a joint, and one hand was halfway open like it was holding a beer. These were made to hold the toy rifles, but that never worked. So we just make tiny cigarettes and beer cans for them to enjoy. I guess they were more like Vietnam Joes than WW2 Joes a that point, but we didn't have little asian dolls for them to rape.
Breaker=BatManuel by Phenom	May 8th, 2008 12:38:09 PM
From The Tick.
Dr. Sonus by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 12:40:31 PM
I'm getting a real Dennis Miller vibe from you bro. I with you had asterix's and footnotes so I could figure it out. I don't get it, but it funny anyway...
Its too by Series7	May 8th, 2008 12:40:48 PM
Bad the only decent 80's cartoon to movie we may ever get is TMNT. Next you'll be telling me that they fire bullets instead of lasers.
Brunomac by My best friend	May 8th, 2008 12:45:25 PM
I remember in 3rd grade we saved up enough UPC's or whatever to get the Sgt. Slaughter figure. My brother and i were so excited to get it, that we made up some dumb song that we sang while we ran home from school everyday to watch the cartoon and check the mail. I swear it took 6 months for the Sarge to get to my mailbox. By that time all we wanted to do was blow him up. I think Sgt Slaughter died as soon as he got out of the box. Anyway, yeah theres been some horrific movies made over the years and some good ones too. But this one just looks like it has little to do with the origins ! I hope Hasbro reads these and either stops the movie or make it better. I would just prefer to see a new episode of the cartoon if anything.
Marlon Wayans looked fuckining Badass... by ganymede3010	May 8th, 2008 12:45:28 PM
NOT!!!!! This movie is going to be horrible at best.
Brunomac by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 12:46:48 PM
Holy fuck. Just how old are you?
Bruno by Dr.Sonus	May 8th, 2008 12:46:56 PM
Sorry man, Punchline without the Opening: "Storm Shadow in Sommers' GiJoe Movie is like... Ashton Kutcher at Bernie Mac's House" - Ad Infinitum! - wait, I think that was already a movie
Well, I was going to see this, but... by GingerBallz	May 8th, 2008 12:48:48 PM
These costumes have steered me away. I mean seriously, WTF? The thing I loved about G.I.Joe was the diverse cast of characters that brought a different quality/skill to the table. With these STUPID fucking costumes, you can't even tell them apart...
Sonus... by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 12:48:51 PM
Oh shit...I gotta read the previous posting on these talkbacks!
Herb by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 12:51:01 PM
Not too ancient. I had two older brothers, and mom did charity work at the Salvation Army, so my Joes were 10-15 years old when I got them. I of course proceeded to do battles where I set them on fire and threw them off of rooftops and shit. Wish I had kept them nice, but that isn't any fun, is it?
It's like a train wreck... by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 12:52:29 PM
I'm actually morbidly curious to see how else they're going to fuck up this movie. BTW aren't BREAKER, RIPCORD, and HEAVY DUTY basically the same character anyway?
Brunomac by Abominable Snowcone	May 8th, 2008 12:55:26 PM
I had a couple of the original Joes as a kid. One of them got taken "prisoner" one day during my playtime and I tied him to a lamp. After about an hour, the bulb had burned a bald spout in the dude's head. Which was funny because they had "real" hair.
Brunomac by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 12:56:08 PM
Thanks for clearing that up. For a minute I thought you may have been the world's oldest talkbacker. :)
Can't we just get 90 minutes by Abominable Snowcone	May 8th, 2008 12:56:30 PM
of Scarlett undressing and taking a shower?
Hmmm Okay... by codymr	May 8th, 2008 12:57:21 PM
So I get that you can't make a movie version of a character exactly the same as the cartoon/comic/action figure... Batman, XMen, Tranformers etc all took their liberties for the celluliod version... But other than the Snake Eyes pics that showed up a month or so ago, these look TERRIBLE. Yes GI JOE is supposed to be high tech, but this looks NOTHING like the little plastic characters I played with as a kid - Not even is spirit. Why not do a serious version of the campy 80's toon? And, assuming they are going to eventually put Destro in his metal helmet, why have they revealed his face publicly so soon? And for that matter General Hawk looks too much like Flint. THIS LOOKS BAD... like sloppy shit in your shorts bad.
Abominable by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 01:01:20 PM
You know, I think I remember a light bulb thing with at least one of my joes. That plastic flesh colored "skin" sure burnt up reaaaaaaal good...
codymr by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 01:02:36 PM
No shit. That was the whole idea of GI Joe. They were all totally different. Christ.
I can't express in words how... by Cap'n Jack	May 8th, 2008 01:03:23 PM
...underwhelming these are.
Flint_Ironstag by SlyAndTheFamilyStallone	May 8th, 2008 01:03:48 PM
"How can you fuck up the Baroness?...Slap a red Cobra logo on her tits and you are set." Said actress would have to have tits for that.
Sailor and the melting grey people by suckinsomeGiacchinodick	May 8th, 2008 01:04:25 PM
Does anyone remember the one where Sailor hallucinates for an entire episode and all the other Joes melt into disgusting grey shit? It's the most disturbing thing I've ever seen.
I thought Gay Joe was about army men. by Napoleon Park	May 8th, 2008 01:06:27 PM
Why are these people wearing leather fetish-wear as if that Mystery Men parody X-Men was the be all end all of wearing costumes movies? At least the characters in Small Soldiers looked like toy soldiers.
Destro is the worst.... by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 01:08:04 PM
Destro used to be a big muscle bound guy with a silver mask that never came off. Now we have a skinny twerp in a faggy little suit. Really, WTF are they thinking? It's beyond fucking comical.
suckinsome by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 01:08:11 PM
I think the most disturbing for me was when Sailor and Snake Eyes did a chorus girl dance number, then Snake Eyes went into a spinning break dance to some especially shitty 80's pop music.
Can't help myself - I'm outta here after this one...I hope by Dr.Sonus	May 8th, 2008 01:08:22 PM
Storm Shadow in Sommers' GiJoe movie is like the last mothball in a Dementor's closet.
My best friend//I remember I ordered the GIJOE... by Sailor Rip	May 8th, 2008 01:10:00 PM
...magazine when I was a kid and 6-8 months later when it finnaly arrived I wasn't even into toys let alone GIJOE anymore. I think I also had a girl over at the time which was embarassing.
So glad I don't give a flying fuck about this... by Rickey Henderson	May 8th, 2008 01:10:07 PM
(Because if I did, I'd be blind with rage).
Brunomac by Sailor Rip	May 8th, 2008 01:11:22 PM
Holy shit, I remember that. Remember when that Cobra blob/virus got loose and they used apples to kill it?
It's also funny and sad... by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 01:12:13 PM
that every major movie website got a photo except for AICN. I'm embarrassed for them right now.
This movie could be so easy... by Knuckleface	May 8th, 2008 01:13:50 PM
...but I think they are going to blow it. I hope this ain't going to be some depressing Daredevil crap. Here's how you do it: Come up with a crazy fantasy McGuffin like The Ark of the Covenent. Cobra is trying to get it. The Joe guys try to stop it. There should also be a lot of exotic locations, even when it's not important to the plot. I expect to see more locations than the BBC's Planet Earth series. And there should be an absolute minimum of CGI.
Yes, it seems everyone, everywhere... by poeticwarriorII	May 8th, 2008 01:13:53 PM
finds this to be a shitty mess. A stinkier bowl of watery fecal matter has yet to be made. What piece of shit gave this movie to this piece of shit?
Have to agree... by Darth Macchio	May 8th, 2008 01:14:44 PM
If you just put a different title and concept under these pics they wouldn't even be "copying" the GIJOE characters (does that even make sense?!). Imagine if it was a movie called "IRON NATION: Special Ops" and not GIJOE. Then we'd be saying "What the fuck is IRON NATION: Special Ops???" as opposed to "too much black". And no one would be saying "Awe shit...these pics are a GIJOE rip off!".
Yeah... by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 01:16:50 PM
I honestly thought that they would change the all black costumes after the first backlash. The fact that they didn't just proves how laughable this whole production is.
Ahh What the hell,...Storm Shadow in Sommers' GiJoe Movie is lik by Dr.Sonus	May 8th, 2008 01:18:31 PM
Ike Turner and the Cloverfield Monster fighting over a Tic-Tac, during a Lunar Eclipse, if the Cloverfield Monster was as black as Idi Amin. I know, now I'm just phoning it in.
And Just So You Know.... by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 01:19:57 PM
Before the Attack... Every Character Will Now Be Wearing All Black! http://tinyurl.com/5u3wz8 It's a fucking punchline.
Sonus by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 01:22:08 PM
Shit no, that was the best one yet. Ike Turner and the Colverfield monster over tic tac...gotta remember that one...
Matthew McConauhey may be Cap? by Shermdawg	May 8th, 2008 01:23:20 PM
I'm ok with that.
Brunomac by Abominable Snowcone	May 8th, 2008 01:24:04 PM
What's scary is I remember Snake Eyes' break dance. It was so bad, like it was right out of Spiderman 3 or something.
Storm Shadow in Sommers' GiJoe Movie by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 01:26:07 PM
Is like a job application printed on a white sheet of paper at the million man march at midnight. Am I getting it?
this will fully suck by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 01:26:27 PM
In some ways it’s not as bad as things that get it right in ways but blow it in others. HBO has been showing FF Silver Surfer this week, and most of the movie is a passable FF adaptation. But then they have Doc Doom, who is nothing like his comic book incarnation. A character so important to the mythos, who would be so cool as is, and they change him completely. So he ruins the entire thing. It’s like looking at a beautiful face, then it smiles and the teeth are yellow and crooked. I think we know that Joe will be all terrible. It just has the vibe of David Hasslehoff’s Nick Fury TV movie.
Abominable by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 01:28:21 PM
man, I can hear the faux funky music in my head right now. God, make it stop! And I remember thinking "is Snake Eyes a kid from the hood? Naw...a kid from the hood would actually be good at it...
WOW THIS IS A TOTAL LET DOWN. DAMNNN by THE_ONE_MAN_GANG	May 8th, 2008 01:29:18 PM
storm shadow looks like fantomex from new x men. all in all it looks generic
Sailor by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 01:30:49 PM
Oh yeah, that apple thing! Fucking awesome. Man, it was one hell of a weird show, wasn't it. I think a lot of Marvel comic writers worked on it. Probably during their cocaine binges.
Matthew McConauhey may be Cap? by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 01:31:09 PM
I'm eerily fine with it myself. Maybe I'm just getting numb.
the memorable thing about GI was their costumes.... by THE_ONE_MAN_GANG	May 8th, 2008 01:32:04 PM
and destros fucking metal face! sommers blows he fucking blows. just like van helsing- he turns something easy into a pile of shit
McConauhey....I'm NOT okay with that... by Brians Life	May 8th, 2008 01:34:43 PM
...will Captain American be stoned all the time, own a shitty bar and never wear a shirt!?!?! Mathew McConauhey is not an actor...he plays himself...EVERY movie he's ever done has been the same take. "Uhh, hey there uh Hawkeye, that's a hell ah arrah ya got there. CHARLIE WADE!!!"
Sailor/Brunomac by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 01:35:42 PM
What is this episode you guys are talking about?
Brians Life by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 01:37:35 PM
On the other hand, he is like the all American guy. Man, you just described the American dream.
is it 2002? by prajadhipok	May 8th, 2008 01:39:28 PM
was this made right after the whole matrix phenomenon? why the black suits?
the lack of pics are pretty obvious by ArcadianDS	May 8th, 2008 01:39:50 PM
here's a list of reasons why AICN didn't get pics: "chocolate covered pussy juice" "bugnuts" "I just got off the phone with Jesus..." The complete oral fixation over Hostel / Hostel 2 Oh and the BIGGEST REASON: Everyone knows AICN is a for-sale marketing tool. Why would they PAY this site to post publicity photos when half a dozen other sites will do it for free?
Herb - I'm getting numb about Cap too by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 01:40:58 PM
I was starting to feel the same way about Iron Man last week. Thank God it turned out to be good.
Herb West by Sailor Rip	May 8th, 2008 01:41:15 PM
A Codra Virus escaped from a lab and start absorbing everything it touched. The Joe's send Airtight(I think) in there and he actually finds some other Cobra dudes hanging inside this bit blob. Anyway, Apple seeds have a minute amount of poisen in them(something I learned from this episode)so the Joe's adapt theire weapons and vehicles to fire an orchard full of apples at the thing which is about to destroy a whole city. I just remember Shipwreck(my favorite) throwing apples at the thing while it bears down on him saying "This one will be the one.....no this one!"
Herb by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 01:44:40 PM
I think that episode had Sailor on the run by himself (I forget when Snake Eyes shows up....maybe as one of the chorus girls). I forget a lot of it, but toward the end Sailor ended up in a city totally under Cobras control (that was pretty cool). At some bar/night club, in order to avoid Cobra agents who where everywhere, Sailor and Snake went up on stage and joined the chorus line. At one point Snake just starts doing a break dance. It wasn't so much horrible as just plain weird.
Herb West - Not Bad! Or ... by Dr.Sonus	May 8th, 2008 01:45:23 PM
Storm Shadow in Sommers' GiJoe Movie is like Whoopi Goldberg went looking for a tampon in an oil well. Yikes!
McConauhey for Cap, no... by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet	May 8th, 2008 01:46:02 PM
McConauhey for Hawkeye, sure. Or even AntMan, if you have to have him. and yeah, these costumes look like Starship Troopers outfits.
Baroness... by xsi kal	May 8th, 2008 01:46:08 PM
It's pretty sad that they fucked this outfit up. If you've ever seen pictures from a con, you'll know that the outfit translates JUST FINE to real life. (It's probably one of the few that does) There was no reason to change it, particularly when their new version is so very inferior.
I do vaguely remember by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 01:47:30 PM
Snake Eyes breakdancing sometime. I don't know if it was from that episode or not.
Now that I think about it by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 01:47:32 PM
there was alot of weird stuff in the Joe cartoon, but also some smart stuff. I think my favorite (next to Sarge Slaughter vs. Serpentor) was the one where Cobra buys a TV network, and starts doing some positive spin on the organization. That was kind of ahead of it's time.
Herb and Doc Sonus... by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet	May 8th, 2008 01:48:12 PM
that shit is funny.
You know, Shipwreck got a lot of screen time. by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 01:48:54 PM
Is he in this movie?
Dr.Sonus by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 01:49:06 PM
Please dude, I just ate! ;)
Sgt. Slaughter by 40ozToFreedom	May 8th, 2008 01:49:43 PM
you guys missed one important character photo. http://www.onlineworldofwrestl ing.com/pictures/s/sgtslaughte r/26.jpg
How about THE VIPER by Sailor Rip	May 8th, 2008 01:51:20 PM
"I am the 'viper, I am hear to vipe your windows." Ha
Dr.Sonus, can I try? by SlyAndTheFamilyStallone	May 8th, 2008 01:52:10 PM
Storm Shadow in Sommers' GiJoe movie is like a supervisor at a Wal-Mart. Yeah, I went there.
Herb, me and Sailor are talking about two different eps by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 01:52:16 PM
I really only remember the break dance one as much because it was on some channel in the last few years. My best memory is of Sarge Slaughter using his thumbnail to unscrew the hinge of a security door...you could actually see the close up of his thumb nail cracking as he did it. Sarge was done right - he was way better as a Joe than his real wrestling character ever was. Now, as for "The Fridge"...
How about that two-parter... by Sailor Rip	May 8th, 2008 01:52:39 PM
...Where Shipwreck would go through that car wash and have his memory erased and was put in a fake town with imitations of his real family. Fuck. That show was ahead of its time.
Storm Shadow in Sommers' GiJoe... by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet	May 8th, 2008 01:53:17 PM
is like when i worked at a Chile's in the hood and was nicknamed Sunshine my first day on the job.
SlyAndTheFamilyStallone by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 01:53:25 PM
You must be from the South.
Storm Shadow in Sommers' GiJoe Movie is like by Dr.Sonus	May 8th, 2008 01:54:16 PM
Gary Coleman whipped out a kleenex while watching the "What's Happening" Reunion in Gary, Indiana. And then the power went out. Ahh, I see the torch has been passed. Run with it - There's Gold to be mined!
AICN got Snake Eyes by Itto Ogami loses Daigoro	May 8th, 2008 01:56:28 PM
It started off so well but after these other pics...we have Transformers all over again. It will appeal to the masses and make mad box office numbers but they've butchered the "canon" to pieces!
Black costumes = the suck by sapno_krei	May 8th, 2008 01:58:37 PM
I really hope these shots are from the characters pre-GI Joe, because the uniforms were what made them cool. In these shots, everyone looks like Snake Eyes!
Storm Shadow in Sommers' GiJoe Movie is like by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 01:59:33 PM
A white headed zit in the crack of Oprah's ass.
Where are the Street Fighter & WWE characters? by Ozman X	May 8th, 2008 02:01:43 PM
I'm pretty sure I have a Sgt. Slaughter and Guile "G.I. Joe" action figure so I demand to see them included in this film. These ARMY veterans should not be forgotten.
READ THE ARTICLE ABOUT DESTRO!!!!!!!!!!! by Playkins	May 8th, 2008 02:02:03 PM
It says he dons the mask for combat. So don't start bitching!
Costumes are clean and neatly pressed. by Reelheed	May 8th, 2008 02:04:35 PM
Good to see those Joes take their fucking ironing seriously. It's no good going into battle with creases and dirt spoiling your tacky camo and gold plated plastic belt buckles. What would their mothers say? This looks shockingly bad. Street-Fighter bad. Never-work-in-this-town-again bad.
Brunomac by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 02:05:44 PM
Did you hear the rumor about the Rock playing Shipwreck?
Storm Shadow in Sommers' GiJoe Movie is like by Dr.Sonus	May 8th, 2008 02:08:04 PM
Hillary Duff was wrapped in Electrical Tape, Dipped in Chocolate, and fed to a Tribe of Ravenous Pygmies at the South Pole during the Six Months of Darkness.
Storm Shadow in Sommers' GiJoe Movie is like by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 02:11:54 PM
a crack rock at Whitney Houston's family reunion.
Okay, Last One before I get a bite to eat by Dr.Sonus	May 8th, 2008 02:11:58 PM
Storm Shadow in Sommers' GiJoe Movie is like Mini-Me in the Gimp Costume, kicked unconscious, and stuffed into Marilyn Manson's sock drawer. Peace!
Masters of the Universe by sapno_krei	May 8th, 2008 02:12:27 PM
I only saw the movie once, but the one thing that MOTU got right was that it dirtied things up. From the costumes to the world of Eternia, there was just enough grime and dirt to make the world seem "lived in." Too bad they farled up everything else, from the characters to the storyline. So far, all the shots of the Joes look like they're suited up for a friendly game of Laser Tag at the mall.
Abominable Snowcone by codymr	May 8th, 2008 02:17:22 PM
yet again, you have made my day.
Herb by Brunomac	May 8th, 2008 02:18:49 PM
I don't know about the rock, but I think I smelled what Shipwreck was cooking. His fucking annoying parrot after he actually got shipwrecked.
Sailor Rip by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet	May 8th, 2008 02:22:49 PM
i do remember that episode. good stuff.
You guys should have been out... by IAmLegolas	May 8th, 2008 02:30:47 PM
... as soon as the news of Marlon Wayans being in it was announced. Well, at least he'll have something higher up on his resume than DUNGEONS & DRAGONS. Even the shot of Storm Shadow with his ninja headdress on looks horrible.
I mean seriously... by IAmLegolas	May 8th, 2008 02:35:20 PM
all these designs have been taking away or muting what differentiated each character from the next as well as losing their trademarks (i.e. Destro sans mask, Baroness with some kind of XXXtreme sports shades, etc.) Next thing you are going to tell me is that Snake Eyes can talk, Cobra Commander's going to show his face throughout the entire movie and Ripcord's in charge of the team.
my my god god by awesomeo3000	May 8th, 2008 02:39:00 PM
seriously why does hollywood have to ruin our childhoods their not even the real american hero anymore and they look like the xmen wtf
regarding the "cleanliness" by Bouncy X	May 8th, 2008 02:41:23 PM
these are promotional photos so of course they will look all spiffy and pretty or whatever. so if this is a huge hit, no doubt sequels will come but you think they'd ever attempt a crossover with transformers? because i may be wrong here but i remember reading that josh duhamel's character was from one of the crossover comics.
I remember reading somewhere that... by Dr.Sonus	May 8th, 2008 02:46:24 PM
Storm Shadow in Sommers'GiJoe Movie is like Al Roker and Star Jones sharing a cigarette in Gotham City. Boo YAH!
Bouncy X by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet	May 8th, 2008 02:46:55 PM
we'll see a ThunderCats movie before a Transformers VS G.I. Joe.
It's not craptacular its comcastic! by JimboTHC	May 8th, 2008 02:51:14 PM
Comcastic is my word for double craptacular.
If you are a fan of GI Joe, then you MUST hate those pics by IndustryKiller!	May 8th, 2008 02:52:37 PM
Because you absolutely cannot reconcile the look of this film to the property itself. The Joe team looks absolutely horrendous with every one of them wearing that stupid Batmanesque body armor. What was cool about the show is how this team had such a sense of individuality. They all brought their own look and feel to the proceedings. And Destro not having a mask until the end of the film or only sporadically is something so nonsensical and less cool than the original that only Hollywood would try it. The Baroness looks good unfortunately shes Cobra COmmanders sister int his being controlled with nanobytes and used to be romantically linked with Duke, all of which is total horseshit not to mention cliched and tired even if it wasn't betraying the source material. And General Hawk in a black motorcycle leather jacket? ugh. Fuck this movie. Steven Summers will butcher this Michael bay style.
WHERE ARE THE BEARDS? by Hikaru Ichijo	May 8th, 2008 02:56:51 PM
and the uniforms aren't conveying much personality. Doesn't feel like JOE to me.
Hikaru Ichijo by Herb West	May 8th, 2008 03:01:45 PM
WHERE ARE THE BEARDS? Haven't you heard? They've been working on a new movie called Indiana Jones 4.
That ain't no stinkin' Destro by Toby___Wong	May 8th, 2008 03:02:57 PM
Íf Destro doesn't get his chrome dome I won't watch this shit. Butterface Sienna however, looks pretty awesome as the Baroness, although I still think Bellucci should have gotten that role. And where the hell is Chuckles ????
They are So real looking by Blitz	May 8th, 2008 03:10:12 PM
That you wonder why even do CG just get actors. G.I. Joe is the last thing you would think would need to be fully CG. What ever though.
Conservative Film Review site by Skywise	May 8th, 2008 03:20:26 PM
There is just such a site... http://www.libertyfilmfestival .com/libertas/
Minnie Me

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