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A gaggle of SPEED RACER reader reviews rush in!

FUCK!!! by Annie The Pod Racer	May 7th, 2008 12:33:33 AM
NO WAY!!!
From the sounds of it... by PirateEmery	May 7th, 2008 12:39:54 AM
Iron Man, break, break, Indy. You know it, I know it.
no pirate by rsdigi	May 7th, 2008 12:43:18 AM
postal will break indy. uwe "bowl of shit" said so himself on youtube
go speed racer go-ooooo by Flustered	May 7th, 2008 12:44:11 AM

Digital Shit by Queefer Bukkake	May 7th, 2008 12:51:36 AM
This thing looks like two hours of headache and stupid dialogue. Why didn't they remake Tron instead?
SHIT!!! by LaserPants	May 7th, 2008 12:53:33 AM
Jeezus christ. Why not just make a big dumb loud short kids movie (with secret jokes for adults) without the speechifying? WTF?!?! Still, waiting to see for myself...
Family oriented? I seriously doubt it by AntoniusBloc	May 7th, 2008 12:59:15 AM
A Wachowski brother film for the family? I don't buy it. And exposition, yes, the Matrix films were full of it. Those looking for a good family film that will satify all ages, and tell the story visually, should save their ten bucks and wait for Prince Capian. A lot of footage being released and the action in this film look really impressive.
Prince Caspian by AntoniusBloc	May 7th, 2008 01:01:44 AM

Unless I missed it by Series7	May 7th, 2008 01:02:34 AM
I didn't see any mention of the long running time being an issue. The more I read about this site the more I want to see it.
PLANT RACER...ALL OF "EM PLANTS by leobloom	May 7th, 2008 01:27:33 AM
And no I didn't read a single review
When you've got so many other things to pick on... by poeticwarriorII	May 7th, 2008 01:44:06 AM
why waste time with run-time?
Stephen Colbert by KurtLockwood	May 7th, 2008 01:47:02 AM
Reviewed it on his show last night and said watching it was like climbing into a box and lighting fireworks and then having epileptic seizures. Ouch.
Yeah but did Colbert see Speed Racer by Mace Tofu	May 7th, 2008 02:12:10 AM
on WEED? John Stewart said it was wack.
oh shit by kungfuhustler84	May 7th, 2008 02:29:58 AM
this is gonna bomb big time. I still wanna see it though.
Chimp - The Movie by Motoko Kusanagi	May 7th, 2008 02:38:29 AM
I couldn't care less about this infantile kiddie flick.
You Really Mean... by Redfive!	May 7th, 2008 02:45:39 AM
the visuals aren't dark and moody like Blade Runner and the story isnt like Requiem for a Dream.Damn this movie really shouldnt have been made should it.
You Really Mean... by Redfive!	May 7th, 2008 02:45:39 AM
the visuals aren't dark and moody like Blade Runner and the story isnt like Requiem for a Dream.Damn this movie really shouldnt have been made should it.
No, Quint, "the word" AIN'T "pretty split": by newc0253	May 7th, 2008 03:50:17 AM
it's you published 4 reviews and, despite their differences, there seems to be a fairly broad consensus that Speed Racer isn't as great as everyone hoped: the first one was 'disappointed', didn't hate it outright but certainly didn't love it. the second review described it as an 'exhilarating, visual thrill ride' with a 'mediocre story'. the third, a big fan of the original, found it 'frustrating' and 'disappointing'. and the fourth, the most positive of the bunch, admitted that it was 'not flawless' and described it as being aimed at geared for 'kids too young to make it for the more teenage ... adventures of the summer'. seems pretty clear to me that Speed Racer ain't exactly the unqualified triumph of, say, the Matrix. now, maybe it's unfair to expect a remake of a beloved kid's cartoon to be a classic, but i think we've seen enough examples over the years of adaptations of kid's fare that have succeeded in doing exactly that. Maybe Speed Racer doesn't suck (I haven't seen it yet) but I'd appreciate AICN regulars being a little more frank about the film's strengths and weaknesses. We don't certainly need Mori coming on here and describing us all as 'douchebags' simply because we express doubts about the movie based on what we've read...
Does anyone remember the old anime film "Gran Prix"? by The Grug	May 7th, 2008 05:07:05 AM
"Speed Racer" never did anything for me, but "Gran Prix" was the shiznitz. They should've made that.
The reviewers who didn't like it didn't mention Spy Kids... by beastie	May 7th, 2008 06:33:55 AM
... which is what I was worried about. So, it looks like my son and I will be at the theater this weekend.
Benno Führmann always seems to be like that. by DerLanghaarige	May 7th, 2008 07:02:27 AM
And I guess they had to hire him because of any contract reasons. (He is a German actor, they shot the movie in Berlin, go figure.)
I'm there, mother fucks. I'm There. by PotSmokinAlien	May 7th, 2008 07:21:11 AM
Now release the god damn thing already.
Boy, did they release this at the wrong time by Mr Incredible	May 7th, 2008 07:35:58 AM
They should have put it in March or April when there would have been nothing around it. Now, it's going to get it's ass kicked by Iron Man, Caspian, and Indy 4.
Seeing this in HD on bluray will fix the flatness. by knowthyself	May 7th, 2008 08:01:35 AM
Oh yeah. Thats when we truly get to see this baby in true form.
Instead of seeing this... by Rickey Henderson	May 7th, 2008 08:09:19 AM
I'm just gonna tape my eyelids open, hang neon lights 1 inch from my eyes, drive around at 95mph and bang myself over the head with a frying pan. What's the fucking point of making movies that are visually unwatchable?
I'm still in by calnorso	May 7th, 2008 08:11:05 AM
I'm still excited to see it. However the "cool beans" line (that they always seem to put) in the trailer makes me cringe, and I'm not expecting the rest of the dialog to be much better. I just really appreciate the fact that they didn't try to make it reality based like every other movie is going for, I like the artistic expression of pushing the envelope with film.
Awesome! by max314	May 7th, 2008 08:41:04 AM
It's interesting that the visuals seem to be the most crucial factor regarding whether or not people like the film. I suspect people have already made their minds up about that. Personally, I think it sounds very, very encouraging, so I'm there! By the way. don't be disheartened by the "mediocre story" comments. I mean, the 'Indiana Jones' movies aren't exactly "story heavy". Like 'Speed Racer', they're what's described as "set piece driven", not "plot driven" films. I'm sure the film does exactly what it set out to do :-D
It's Tomatometer is rising... by rbatty024	May 7th, 2008 09:02:30 AM
to %45. Not terribly encouraging. The biggest draws for me are the Chimpanzee and Christina Ricci. If every film could have that combination then I would be happy.
Will be seeing Iron Man for the 4th time by waites	May 7th, 2008 09:16:38 AM
Speed Racer just does not sound like my kind of movie. I saw previews for it with Iron Man and very single moment of it looked the same. Like one big shiney red blur. I know I loved Iron Man so I will be back there with Tony Stark!
Heirloom Tomatoes in 15 y.o. Balsamic & Buffalo Mozzerella by Deandome	May 7th, 2008 10:28:08 AM
mmmm....sounds yummy, actually. But the point is, the RT reviews (all so far are heavily skewed to stick-up-their ass, childless, probably gay, self-annointed "cinephiles" from places like the New Yorker, New York Magazine, Variety & The Hollywood Reporter...and/or are absolute nobodies nobody's ever heard of. Take a look at the reviews from the naysayers; Kirk Honeycutt loved 10,000 BC & Street Kings...80% of his reviews seem to be art flicks.
Heirloom Tomatoes in 15 y.o. Balsamic & Buffalo Mozzerella by Deandome	May 7th, 2008 10:28:08 AM
mmmm....sounds yummy, actually. But the point is, the RT reviews (all so far are heavily skewed to stick-up-their ass, childless, probably gay, self-annointed "cinephiles" from places like the New Yorker, New York Magazine, Variety & The Hollywood Reporter...and/or are absolute nobodies nobody's ever heard of. Take a look at the reviews from the naysayers; Kirk Honeycutt loved 10,000 BC & Street Kings...80% of his reviews seem to be art flicks.
Heirloom Tomatoes Contd. by Deandome	May 7th, 2008 10:39:41 AM
Damn inadvertent "sends"!! Here's the whole shebang: mmmm....sounds yummy, actually. But the point is, the RT reviews (all ELEVEN OF THEM...how does THAT merit people saying it isn't "tracking well"?) so far are heavily skewed to stick-up-their ass, childless, probably gay, self-annointed "cinephiles" from places like the New Yorker, New York Magazine, Variety & The Hollywood Reporter...and/or are absolute nobodies nobody's ever heard of. Take a look at the reviews from the naysayers; Kirk Honeycutt loved 10,000 BC & Street Kings...80% of his reviews seem to be art flicks. Alonso Durante seems to hate everything, save for turds like Hot Rod & three excruciating family films; Spiderwick Chronicles, Mr. Magorium's Emporium & Golden Compass (OK, I kinda liked that one, but most people/critics didn't). You know Ebert...who's opinion counts for more than all these no-names put together...is gonna love it (Dark City was his #1 movie of the year when it came out...he loves him 'dem viz-yul flicks!). Roeper's hinted he does, too. I know the positive RT reviewers probby love things I hate/hate things I love too, but c'mon people, we're talking ELEVEN FUCKING REVIEWS here, and not a critical heavyweight in the bunch. Don't jump on the hate train until a) you see it & hate it, or b) there are like 50+ reviews on file @ RT.
Can't wait... by Sappers Forward	May 7th, 2008 10:56:05 AM
I'll be seing this on IMAX!
I must say I trust the Wachowskis.... by Darth Macchio	May 7th, 2008 12:30:30 PM
Ok..I know not many like the matrix sequels nor V for Vendetta (and yes I read the GN) but I trust these guys to make a quality product. While I had trouble with a lot of Revolutions, I still think the chase sequence in Reloaded was brilliant (the motorcycle work alone is breathtaking). I doubt I'll see this in the theater as I was never a fan of the old shittier anime (yes, anime was actually crappy animation back in the day) and the whole concept of Speed Racer just seemed so cornball (of course I never missed Ultraman so go figure). Besides, how can any movie go totally wrong with Christina Ricci in it?
I have no entusiasm for this movie by Hive Mind	May 7th, 2008 12:39:29 PM
I just can't seem to bring myself to care about it with everything else going on this summer, this is left to suck hind tit. Plus, just watching the TV spots makes me a little queasy, I can't imagine the headache I'd have after 90 minutes of it.
!!!!!!!! by the way	May 7th, 2008 01:10:00 PM
"Will be seeing Iron Man for the 4th time" by waites -- IS THE LINE OF THE WEEK. GIVE THAT MAN A PRIZE, HARRY!
My 6 year old is excited..... by Quake II	May 7th, 2008 01:29:10 PM
He's eating up everything Speed Racer. Took him to see Iron Man and he liked it but isn't playing with Iron Man figures every day. Kids love cars. Speed Racer will make more money than Prince Caspian. I have no doubt about it. Indy will be the film to stop Speed Racer and Iron Man box office.
can't wait by Spazatronic 2000	May 7th, 2008 04:08:51 PM
to get blazed and watch this shit high.
Read read read... words... read by Emperor_was_a_jerk	May 7th, 2008 04:31:32 PM
Those reviews are not long enough.
Finally put my finger on what's wrong with it... by BurnHollywood	May 7th, 2008 07:25:20 PM
...The whole fucking movie looks like a bonus round on Sonic The Hedgehog, and I was more of a Super Mario fan.
Oh, come on now.... by Teddy Artery	May 8th, 2008 12:41:05 AM
"There are some breathing taking effects in that sequence." This sentence is so poorly constructed it HAS to be the work of a 'plant'. No one could be that dense.
LSD and Speed Racer by RickyShoreSingsTheBlues	May 8th, 2008 01:40:39 AM
check out RICKY SHORE SINGS THE BLUES
SUPER MARIOS 4 LYFE by Spazatronic 2000	May 8th, 2008 01:54:44 AM

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