Sigh.

Transformers 2 is going to be one large toilet

You should go have a nice big cup of shut the fuck up. It's a special blend that I'm sure you'll enjoy.

Where's Queefer when you need him....

There were so many awesome moments, it's hard to keep track. The 5-ton, 4-story robots stomping around a neighborhood that no one notices was really "awesome" and then there's the government agent was remains threatening and indignant when he's surrounded by a group of 5-ton, 4-story robots who could turn him into a skidmark. Yeah, that was so totally "awesome."

Will there be digitally rendered flames on Jonah Hill's man-boobs?

It was old last year. You guys should just let it go. You'd have so much more energy for other things, like dating girls. Good day.

'7 Minutes of Transformers 2'.

That's it. Roll credits

"unless you're a sad, juvenile, closet homophobic with a love for male robots indulging in phallic WWF/WWE style pantomime fights!"

I'm glad you've discovered women too. Whew!

Let's face it people... you outgrew Transformers. It's not the fault of Bay or Shia or whomever. YOU outgrew Transformers.

You're in your thirties... late twenties maybe. You've grown up. You are more cynical. You enjoy more "adult oriented" material. You may have fun in your life, but the wonder aspect of your youth may be slipping away. You can no longer take the good and leave the bad from a movie. Therefore you believe that Transformers should age the way you have. You expect it to live up to your memories, which by the way, have been altered drastically over the years of aging and the contamination of nostalgia.

I watched seasons of the cartoon before the Transformers movie came out. While I cherish them, I just don't see how anyone can say that the source material is the holy grail. It's actually quite redundant if you think about it. But because it was part of our childhood when we saw the world around us differently, we're willing to overlook the "cheese" factor evident in each and every episode (see any Dinobot episode). But you're an adult now. Cynical. You live in an age where the internet gives you the opportunity to pick apart and thrash little snippets of images and story bytes. You build a hatred for the movie before you see more than two minutes of footage.

Transformers, in my eyes and about $500 million worth of others, was a fun action packed flick with something we haven't seen on the big screen in live action before. Flawed at times, yes (John Tuturro was terrible, the 5 minute sequence with the Autobots hiding from Sam's parents was out of place, etc.), but hey, it was a far step ahead of the quality of the source material. Comics were better yes, but it's difficult to pull off a non human story for the mass audience.

I understand why you may not have liked it. It went against much of what you remember that you loved. But again, if you were to watch that movie during the period where you loved the toys and cartoons the most, you would have flipped out in the best of ways.

That's why you'll never be happy with nostalgia nuggets turning into movies. You'll hate G.I. Joe too... because Shipwreck won't be having conversations with his parrot, Snake Eyes won't be break dancing, Quick Kick won't be running around barefoot with nothing but cargo pants and a red sash on, Cobra won't be having a "Cobrathon" with Zartan and the Dreadnocks as a heavy metal band, etc. etc. etc. Transformers succeeded because they took the core concept that we all grew up loving (Transforming robots waging war on earth... Autobots vs. Decepticons... robots in disguise as Earthly vehicles) and placed it into the real world. The transformers came to life.

Not everything can be a dark, mysterious, violent, cynical, hard edged, rated R, Matrix-like flick. The source material wasn't that... so thankfully the movie wasn't either. It was a fun ride and the sequel will be even better now that the origin story is done.

Getting old is a bitch. Challenge yourself and don't look at ANY Transformers 2 scoops, leaks, etc. READ NOTHING. No images. Nothing. And go in without a year or two worth of pent up preconceived anger and resentment. Trust me, it's a whole different experience. That's the way we USED TO go into a movie back in the eighties. And that is why those movies stand the test of time.

Transformers is not going to be looked back fondly by anyone, especially when it's knocked out of the public consciousness by the next Special Effectstravaganza. Back to the Future, Ghostbusters, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Gremlins, Cloak and Dagger, The Goonies are just a few examples of the amazing family films that came out When I was a kid. Movies for all ages, with great characters, stories, and effects that still stand up beautifully today (well, maybe not Cloak & Dagger, but, damnit, I love that movie).

The idea that Transfomers is somehow the equal of these films and only unappreciated because we've either lost our inner-child or read too much about the film ahead of time is just laughably wrong.

Transformers isa bad movie. Not because it doesn't have an Oscar worthy script, but because it has a shitty script. It's cool that you liked it. But it's still a shitty movie and I really have a hard time believing that 20 years down the road anyone posting here today is going to want to sit down and give it another viewing. There'll have been many movies since then with better action and special effects and it's certainly not the script that's going to keep people coming back for more.

I was just making the point that many people didn't connect with Transformers the movie because they had expectations that mirrored their current more cynical lifestyle compared to when they were actually into Transformers the cartoon and toys... a time when wonder and excitement was a bit different.

I was also making the point that the source material that so many TBers hold close to their heart isn't what they really remember it to be or claim it to be. And hey, I'm a die hard fucking Transformers fan. That was my childhood. But claiming that the series was some type of mythical masterpiece and Bay's Transformers paled in comparison to it is laughably wrong. If anything, Bay's Transformers took it to a more mature level (despite the fart and piss jokes mind you). He made it accessible to people of all ages.

Movies exist to entertain. Plain and simple. People go see a drama to be touched and inspired. They see a comedy to laugh. They see an action adventure to cheer. Transformers delivered on its promise to entertain. For fans, it delivered the core concept of Transformers.

But it's just interesting to think how our minds change as we grow older. How memories aren't really representative of how things really were. We hold the cartoons and toys on this pedestal, and when they are being revived 20 years later, our older more cynical and more "mature" minds, likes, and dislikes alter what we really loved about the source material in the first place.

Either way, now that the movie came out and the origin story is done, I'm thinking Transformers 2 will be fucking huge. It will be closer to what TBers wanted in the first place (more robots, less human storylines). But let's face it, changes are necessary. And because of TBers nostalgia factor, they will hate anything that isn't close to what they remember.

Stupidly, Apatow brought his daughter to the recording session. He & the kid on one coast, Jonah on the other coast with the rest of the guys, and for some inexplicable reason thought they should all try to NOT swear because of his daughter. On the commentary for an r rated movie. Actually, no, UNRATED - it was the DVD. Apatow tried to hide behind the proposition to Jonah to "try to be funny without the crutch of swearing" (actually I'm just paraphrasing there). Which was a big pussy way of deflecting attention from what a monumentally dumb decision he'd made in bringing his kid.

Anyway Hill can't help slipping every once in a while (remember they can't see the kid, and she doesn't talk unless spoken to), and Apatow storms out.

So. Either it's one of the most amazing things I've ever heard on a commentary, or Apatow is a fucking deadpan genius (with a spot-on impersonation of his own daughter) who pulled a brilliant bit of on-the-fly stuff worthy of his days on Larry Sanders. And even if it was all a joke, it backfired because he just comes off like a regular arsehole who put someone in a completely unfair situation.

Good on ya Jonah for calling him out.

Jesus I hope I remembered it right, seeing as I can't even recall the kid's name!

Dumbass.

Also, sorry about the weird post without any text. I was in a bit of a hurry this morning and mistakes were made...

Actually, even better than the Clooney/Russell thing is when Jon Lovitz (of all people) punched out Andy Dick for being, well, a...

Back to Superbad, all those straightfaced shenanigans are a good reason why I'm confused. Sure it could easily have been a setup, but the payoff doesn't seem clever enough- Apatow just comes off like a jerk, rather than, uh, a clever writer pulling an involved stunt where he comes off like a jerk but with the same dynamic as your reaction to a talented but self-effacing person. You still think they're that talented, but appreciate the absence of hubris. Maybe he's just too damn good for me.

And now that I've bleached the life out of it...

But what captured my awe and excitement were the moments when the autobots arrived, crashing down to earth and finding their vehicle males.

The Scorpokon (sp?) scenes. The military sequences were excellent.

Shia held the human side of the movie together. I don't care what any TBer says, the dude can act and has impeccible comedic timing... he's a young John Cusack. Check out Disturbia, Holes, and The Greatest Game Ever Played. TBers focus on his terribly written minor parts in Charlie's Angels, Constantine, etc. Plenty of TBers' favorite actors have been in shit roles. It happens.

The Autobots vs. the Decepticons in the 3rd act... despite shaky photography, which was shot that way to induce the reality of the situation, the chaos factor. But hell, that freeway sequence was everything that I wanted to see in a Transformers live action movie.

And the end, which most TBers should be thrilled about. A promise that okay, the origin story has been told, now we're going to get to business.

I don't mind the changes made in the designs. Frankly, a near direct transfer from the source material would have looked fairly cheesy on film.

It's not about excusing the movie because the "source material sucked". You're not reading it right. It's about some TBers putting the source material on this pedestal and frankly, not properly recalling the quality of the source material itself. Everyone needs to go back and watch those episodes. The core concept of transforming robots battling on Earth is there... but the delivery is redundant at times and fairly dated/cheesy. I love it because that was a big part of my childhood, but the whole fanatic argument that Bay's Transformers wasn't as good as the source material is just plain wrong. They're just not happy simply because the movie wasn't made the way they wanted it to be.

It wasn't a great script. There were missed opportunities. But I got to see a live action Transformers movie with fucking brilliant effects that made it almost photorealistic. For me, those moments I mentioned above sold me on the movie. It ENTERTAINED me. There are PLENTY of movies we all like that are really just terrible as far as writing and filmmaking goes. That's my whole point. Who cares? If we enjoy it, why does it matter?

POINT BREAK, CLOAK AND DAGGER (Awesome bringing that up Killdozer), THE LAST STARFIGHTER, CONAN THE BARBARIAN, RAMBO MOVIES, COMMANDO, EXPLORERS, FRIDAY THE 13TH SEQUELS, NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET SEQUELS, LABRYNTH, MEATBALLS, ROCKY SEQUELS, ROADHOUSE, THEY LIVE, etc. etc. etc. The list goes on.

They entertained us. Plain and simple. In the end, that is what movies are made for. I will defend The Last Starfighter to my death, but I'm sure most people think it sucks. I HATED the Kill Bill movies, thought they were two of the most self aware movies out there... but many swear by them.

You can call a movie bad filmmaking ... but regardless, it's your own opinion. Based on your likes and dislikes. What you love and what you hate. Film is subjective. If it wasn't, we'd all think that Titanic and Forrest Gump were deserving of their Oscars but we know that this is not the case. There is a divide on that.

Anyway, you hate Transformers... not a problem. You enjoyed the hell out of it... good for you.

Maybe it's just because I thought the commentary thing didn't work like the others that I started to think it might be real as an internal excuse? Even I don't know what's going on in my head!