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AICN COMICS REVIEWS JLA! X-MEN! GNOME! THE TOURNEY CONTINUES WITH ROUND 2! & MORE!

FIRST by O_Goncho	Apr 30th, 2008 07:57:43 AM

Newman! by Tad Ghostal	Apr 30th, 2008 07:58:15 AM
second?
Well... by O_Goncho	Apr 30th, 2008 07:59:56 AM
I was really expecting to feel much more filled with joy and buttercream after that. Nevermind.
I call bullshit! by RedBeard1701	Apr 30th, 2008 08:16:59 AM
If Batman wanted to take Cap down and time to prepare, Cap wouldn't have a chance. In an unprepared cage match, Bats would probably lose but in the scenario presented here he'd find a way to take him out like he did with the entire JLA.
Agreed, RedBeard. by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet	Apr 30th, 2008 08:23:02 AM
even without the prep, Bats would mop up Cap no worries. but i guess we should have submitted a better fight. one where Bats doesn't get his foot broken by the oldest trick in the book.
also superdorky... by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet	Apr 30th, 2008 08:23:43 AM
i'm glad Nightwing is back in the competition.
Bravo Gatsby by optimous_douche	Apr 30th, 2008 08:25:13 AM
It's refreshing to see personal accoutability. Like the folks that bitch about politicians, but don't vote. If you don't like these stories, get out there and submit.
i got burned, Optimous_D, by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet	Apr 30th, 2008 08:34:07 AM
when my Nightwing vs Blade fight didn't get picked. you know how it is. just like how i'll never vote again because Dub got "elected" twice .
that might not read as sarcasm, by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet	Apr 30th, 2008 08:35:16 AM
but it is.
ORLY??? by The_Librarian	Apr 30th, 2008 08:40:12 AM
If it's a no powers allowed fight can someone please explain me how can one of the greatest hand-to-hand combat experts and master tactitians of the DC universe lose a fight against a small frail man? Because without powers means no muscle and agility for Captain America...
Read yer Gruenwald Cap comics... by Ambush Bug	Apr 30th, 2008 08:46:58 AM
It's been established that the Super Soldier serum has since worn from Cap's system and he now ages and functions as a normal man in peak condition. Gru did a really great story where a kid approaches Cap about the drugs in his system and because Cap was a true hero, he decided to purge himself in some way that was probably all super-hero-y in some kind of super-hero-y situation that I don't recall. But I do remember that the end result was that the serum was out of his system by the end of the story.
"Brush...UP..your Gruenwald..." by rock-me Amodeo	Apr 30th, 2008 08:56:25 AM
"Start...quoting him now..." Sorry. Seen "Kiss Me, Kate" too many times. "Brush up your Gruenwald, and the @##holes you will wow!"
The problem with the Batman vs Cap story by DevilCat	Apr 30th, 2008 09:04:34 AM
Batman doesn't get taken by the "oldest move in the book". If that were the case, he'd have lost to half of Gotham by now. I'm more than willing to entertain that Cap could take Batman (or vice versa) but it has to be a hell of longer fight than THAT.
some explain how the skrulls... by lex romero	Apr 30th, 2008 09:07:09 AM
..have been able to plan and execute a secret invasion over hte past several years when the skrulls have been completely fucked in the past few years. We've had the fall of the skrull empire, their throne world destroyed, leaving them controlled by hundreds of seperate warlords who fight among themselves and then the annihilation wave which destroyed a shit load of their planets. So how with all this have they been able to orchestrate such a masssive scale invasion?
This "SECRET TOURNAMENT" Sucks by cgd	Apr 30th, 2008 09:17:36 AM
What is the hate against DC? None of their characters would beat anyone else? The way it is going, Peter Porker or Willie the Mailman would beat Superman.
This is honestly my favorite column on AICN. by Err	Apr 30th, 2008 09:22:45 AM

It occurs to me that Secret Invasion by Laserhead	Apr 30th, 2008 09:22:52 AM
could kind of be like a 'clone saga' for the entire Marvel Universe. Finding out that characters you've been reading and invested in for years weren't really who you thought they were. Just a thought. Cap vs. Batman is a new low. A choke-hold and a foot stomp. Jesus.
An open question to anyone (all opinions welcomed) by Err	Apr 30th, 2008 09:25:49 AM
Do you think that DC Comics will ever give us the death or absence of Bruce Wayne with Nightwing or Jason Todd or Tim Drake taking up the mantle of the Batman?
Nightwing became Batman by Laserhead	Apr 30th, 2008 09:30:08 AM
in that 'Prodigal' storyline that came after Knightfall in the 90s. I have no real idea what Morrison's planning for Batman R.I.P., but with the movie so anticipated, I don't think they're going to put anyone else behind the mask any time soon.
Err by messi	Apr 30th, 2008 09:30:31 AM
That was the rumour for a year or so at the moment, and possibly will happen with Batman RIP with Dick taking up the mantle whilst the iconic Bruce Wayne as Batman will be the Earth 1 version as part of their megaverse idea. Which Marvel has been doing for years, but they have a cool name to lure in readers that they can stamp on their books, which instead they should focus on how to make their characters cooler which is what Geoff Johns did with Green Lantern.
BARRY ALLEN IS BACK! by messi	Apr 30th, 2008 09:34:08 AM
The Big ending of DC Universe #0.
Cool News.... by cookylamoo	Apr 30th, 2008 09:35:18 AM
Barry Allen is back!
My frustration by Err	Apr 30th, 2008 09:35:42 AM
I guess my frustration has been that we see the Bat Family (not Batman himself) age in the comics but Batman remains ageless and I've been hoping to see someone take the role over ever since the idea was put into my head with 52. I'll check out the Prodigal storyline. I'm a recent DC convert having gotten fed up with Marvel and I've been trying to back fill as much as I can and read any DC comic I can. I've hit the "best" comics like Hush, Dark Knight Returns, Man Who Laughs, Killing Joke, 52, Infinite Crisis, Identity Crisis, 52, Kingdom Come, etc. etc.
Err, DC by Laserhead	Apr 30th, 2008 09:42:48 AM
I wouldn't put 'Hush' as a 'best' anything. The DC stuff to really check out is Geoff John's Green Lantern, which is the best the book or the character has ever been, and his early run on JSA. Morrison's 'Seven Soldiers' was pretty great, though I still can't make sense of it really. I think 'Final Crisis' is supposed to tie into that series as well as other stuff.
Has anyone really missed Barry Allen's presence? by Laserhead	Apr 30th, 2008 09:43:38 AM

DC keeps undoing everything post 1986 Crisis... by hank henshaw	Apr 30th, 2008 09:54:34 AM
and they'll keep losing fans. They (the silver age fanboys that write and Dan DiDio) keep catering to the old readers that remember fondly the very silly Silver Age. Wally West>Barry Allen. I don't keep track of stuff like that but, are sales any better now for DC?
DC's problems have nothing to do with their editors. by cookylamoo	Apr 30th, 2008 10:12:06 AM
The editors are just struggling to sell books as the population slowly sinks into poverty and illiteracy.
Oh for Christ's sake! by Thalya	Apr 30th, 2008 10:36:02 AM
Way to add SPOILER TAGS for those readers who don't get their books til the weekend. I don't ever use this word, but this is an actual worthy case: DOUCHEBAGS. FUCKING DOUCHEBAGS. Now for those gentle souls out there who were just damaged by the spoilers, have a brain enema: T: "So whose story are we writing up today, Miss Muse?" M: "Oh, no one's today, Trickster. I'm just surfing.." T: "We get wireless in this hideout? Cold! Since when did we get wireless?" CC: "You're a little behind the times, Mr. Jesse. You should see this thing they call a telev-- THAT WAS A FOUL!! HIGH STICKING!!" M: "It's mystic wireless, Tricks. I'm reading up on this universe from the next one over. Character research 'n all." T: "And what kind of research might this be, exactly? Do I feature?" M: "Actually.. Ever hear of yaoi?" T: "Yowee? What, is that like a search engine?" P: "That's quite enough, young lady!" M: "Piper! Give me back the use of my eyes now!" P: "This is not stuff you should be looking at. Especially not here and..ohmygod.. That's me.." T: "And me..with you..Piper.." P: "And we're..." T: "..It's a darn good likeness.." P: "..Great coloring.." M: "This is what's known as girl porn." T: "Porn? Hey...does your beau know you're looking.." WW: "Does he know you're looking at what?" P: "Mardon!" T: "Nothing to see here, move along." WW: "Oh, that? You two make a cute couple. Really." T: "And you're not concerned about your lady looking..at my.." WW: "I learned long ago that she only gets weirder by the day and it's futile to stop her." T: "Ahh..." P: "Wait.. That?" T: ".. ...i-is there more of this?" M: "Whole communities, in fact. It's a wonder how quickly fantasies grow and take hold in the internet age.." T: "..." P: "You idiot! We should've let the Suicide Squad ship us off-planet with the rest!" T: "I'm the idiot? You're the one who's.." M: "You know what it really means if you give in to insecure gay-bashing.." T: "Argh! I. Am. Not.." M: "Don't tell me you're not a little light in the loafers, Mr. Air-Walker Shoes!" T: "Oh, ha ha.. We got that one out of the way the first year after we all teamed up." M: "If the shoe fits.." T: "Gah!" M: "Well it's not like you're the only two.." T: "There's others? Who?" M: "Well..." P: "Hey, why're you looking in my direction?" M: "Not that I don't think it brave a thing that you did, coming out, hon, but it does kinda put you in the default position..." T: "No talking about positions!" P: "Who, Muse?" M: "Everyone up to Murmur.." P: "... ...I'm a slut.." T: "Well look at it this way, man. It's probably a good thing you're never getting head from him.." P: "You on the other hand.." T: "Arrr.." P: "Your bubblegum gun? You better be careful where you shoot your wad there, champ.." T: "grrr.." M: "It's more mix'n'match than anything, guys.. There are just..certain pairings, around here, which generate more friction than others..." WW: "From which I'm safely exempt, right babe?" M: "Oh don't even with start with me with your chest cleavage. You're just a pornstache away from crossing wands with Kadabra!" WW: "That was Gambi, and that was the 70s!" M: "And when exactly did you decide to finally change your duds?" WW: "…I could grow a pornstache.." M: "Ew! ...though come to think of it, a thought crossed my mind while we were robbing that destroyer that was in dock a few months ago. All of you should've just started singing 'In The Navy' and gotten it on already.." T: "I thought we only let sane people into this sacred brotherhood.." M: "You wear brightly-colored costumes and you don't have a flair for the theatrical? Not that there's anything wrong with that.." * half an hour later * P: "Hey miss? I was wondering, do you think you could, if I brought you a jump drive..." M: "Sure, Piper.." * five hours later * T: "Ok, I just have to ask.." M: "You want to see what I'm ogling?" T: "I'm a concerned citizen. Wanna know if justice is being done.." M: "You want me to make you a..." T: "Just so long as we keep this between our lonesomes.." M: "Even including the.." T: "The full monty.. er..."
See Valiant's still using that crappy... by Kid Z	Apr 30th, 2008 10:38:25 AM
...airbrush-look coloring style. Everything they do looks like bad van paintings from the 1970s. Ugh.
IF AICN Was Doing It's Job by cookylamoo	Apr 30th, 2008 10:53:35 AM
You wouldn't have to read these spoilers in talkbacks.
Beautiful cop-out, cooky.. by Thalya	Apr 30th, 2008 11:01:31 AM

What job is that? by rock-me Amodeo	Apr 30th, 2008 11:06:35 AM
Censoring content? So when people post spoilers, we can't pass responsibility to them, it must be AICN's fault? Okay, no one bears any personal responsibility for anything. Fine. Now run to the mailbox and pick up your welfare check as you curse "the man" for keeping you down. And when "its" is used to show possession, it's "its." The contraction of "it's" is always short for "it is." Just sayin'.
Heh...I didn't even realize, cooky... by rock-me Amodeo	Apr 30th, 2008 11:11:03 AM
you were holding AICN responsible for not pulling YOUR OWN spoiler! Oh my stars and garters...words fail me...
Actually.. by Thalya	Apr 30th, 2008 11:17:20 AM
I think he was complaining about AICN not having a separate story since it's already been reported in the NY Daily News. Therefore, instead of spoilering the hell out of the fine readers here, cooky, you would've just pointed everyone to that TB instead of typing the very words you typed. Instead of directing everyone to one of the myriad other places around the web that are covering it, natch. Oi the chutzpah on this one!
messi posted the spoiler first, amodeo. by rev_skarekroe	Apr 30th, 2008 11:19:26 AM
The spoiler's fine by me, since I had zero intention of purchasing the book and think the character in question is a typically personality-free Silver Age alter ego that we're really better off without.
No shout out for Choi's and "x's" art in X-Men? by blindambition238	Apr 30th, 2008 11:22:44 AM
Him and his collaborator, whose name escapes me are easily crafting the best looking top tier series right now. I hope Brubaker and them stay on for a long time cause they're giving Whedon and Cassaday a run for their money I reckon.
Thanks, Rev by rock-me Amodeo	Apr 30th, 2008 11:23:24 AM
It was a no big for me, too. I just felt like generally bitchin' for a moment. Don't mind me, please.
speaking of lame airbrushed van art by Laserhead	Apr 30th, 2008 11:38:27 AM
that's EXACTLY what Joe Mad's art on Ultimates 3 looks like. Every panel of that shit looks like it should be on the side of a big 70s econoline van.
spoilers... by Laserhead	Apr 30th, 2008 11:39:50 AM
Boo-fucking-hoo. Here's a thought; if you want your reading experience to remain completely untainted, maybe, just maybe, you should avoid internet forums where the latest comics news is discussed. Maybe?
Speaking of Ultimates 3... by blindambition238	Apr 30th, 2008 11:53:23 AM
Is Jeph Loeb the most uneven popular writer or what? I knew the guy used to write for Liefeld, but he still managed to pull off Batman: Long Halloween, Spider-Man-Blue, and Superman For All Seasons, all of which I love. But recently he penned those god awful Michael Bay-esque Superman/Batman arcs, and now Ultimates 3 which borders the so-bad-it-must-be-parody area that Frank's ASBAR is occupying.
Ambush Bug... by AnakinsDiapers	Apr 30th, 2008 11:55:45 AM
Maybe you don't remember, or maybe you didn't finish the storyline to its conclusion, but that story where Cap flushes the super soldier serum led to the story where Cap was dying because of it. This culminated to the ridiculous Cap Armor story. The end result was that the Super Soldier Serum is self replicating in Steves bloodstream. He will always be a super soldier. And not to mince words or anything, but Cap is more than peak human, he's the ultimate level of physical and mental perfection a human could ever be, which was stated in the first issue.
Barry Allen Returns to Life: Associated Press by DevilCat	Apr 30th, 2008 12:02:49 PM
Oh, yeah, SPOILER!
BREAKING NEWS: by SleazyG.	Apr 30th, 2008 12:04:15 PM
Our column goe scooped by the NY Daily News! How could such a thing happen? Next you'll tell me we missed an exclusive interview with Tom Cruise and he went to Oprah instead! What's that? It happened earlier this week? SUNUVABITCH! Seriously, guys: I got the press release from DC about this situation THIS MORNING in the context of "hey, guess what the NYDN just reported!" They obviously released the story to them first, just like when Marvel chose a news outlet to drop the "Cap is dead" bomb. It's not because we're not doing our "jobs" (a wholly asinine allegation to begin with): it's that we can't tell you something we don't know, and DC chose who to tell and in what manner. This column was finished and ready to be posted as of last night, and we didn't have word until after the column was up. If you haven't figured it out by now, here's the deal: we buy our own comics, we read 'em that week, we review 'em the next. News stories drop in "Shoot The Messenger" on Mondays, and since we didn't find out about the resurrection until today, it couldn't possibly be covered until then. And for those of you who've read this far, if you want a real news scoop (that I'm stealing from elsewhere) regarding FINAL CRISIS #1, then fine-- here it is: J'onn J'onzz? Looks like he's a frikkin' dead man. As in, that's the guy the big memorial issue after FN #1 will be about, as if you couldn't tell from the leaked cover that's nothing but flames. I mean, sure, it could be Firestorm's head, but honestly, MM seems a lot more likely. You heard it here third or fourth or worse: Martian Manhunter's done for.
I don't read AICN for spoilers by DevilCat	Apr 30th, 2008 12:26:00 PM
...especially since Harry gets scooped by every one these days. My only comment on spoilers would be that people who don't like them ought to avoid a web site that built its rep on having them. That, and lay off the assholes, guys. Not all of us go the comic book store each and every Wednesday. I appreciate their reviews even if they're not as timely as the sites that have to kiss Quesada's and DiDio's respective asses.
On Ass Kissing - Thanks Devil by optimous_douche	Apr 30th, 2008 12:32:35 PM
Yes, we would all love to get the books early so the reviews are up the day the books hit the shelves, but there's a price. That price is integrity. As soon as you pan one of these books, the early distribution dries up. That's why I'm proud to be an @$$hole, there is no pandering for the sake of perks.
People actually have to kiss Didio and Quesada's asses? by Psynapse	Apr 30th, 2008 12:44:22 PM
No wonder the comics industry has such a high suicide rate.
Oh, a question for the @$$holes... by rev_skarekroe	Apr 30th, 2008 12:53:18 PM
Is anyone planning on reviewing Dave Sim's "Glamourpuss"? Dave Sim doing a comic about a super-model should be interesting at the very least...
gotta second the vote by Laserhead	Apr 30th, 2008 12:54:30 PM
for a moratorium on Thalya's fan fiction. It's unpleasant even to scroll past.
Yo Rev! by Psynapse	Apr 30th, 2008 12:57:52 PM
Have you SEEN Glamourpuss? My LCS had the advanced copy months ago. I don't think the @$$holes really want to get involved in discussing Dave Sim's latest misogynistic rant. Oh wait, I'm sorry, I meant the now former pedophilic Dave Sim's latest misogynistic rant (couched in discussions of the stylings of a particular 20th century artist, no doubt to give it 'merit').
Not way Cap beats Bats. by fiester	Apr 30th, 2008 01:06:55 PM
Never happen.
Gargoyles: Bad Guys #2 out today! by ballyhoo	Apr 30th, 2008 01:15:55 PM
Another great read.
Power Pack by Toonol	Apr 30th, 2008 01:17:56 PM
I've almost completely cut my Marvel reading to the kid/young adult lines... Power Pack, Marvel Adventures, First Class... they are refreshing, fun, and somehow at the same time seem less juvenile than the main marvel books. I mean, I just read Millar's FF, and it seemed like a fifteen-year-old trying desperately to be cool and adult wrote it.
Explain the suicide rate. by Pops Freshemeyer	Apr 30th, 2008 01:22:47 PM
Is it really suicide or are peeps accidentally strangling themselves while jerking off to Kitty Pryde or whoever? And who the hell is Brandon Choi? Not the same Brandon Choi who used to write for Wildstorm, is it?
AnakinsDiapers by Shigeru	Apr 30th, 2008 01:29:38 PM
thanks for cleaing that up, you just owned.
Thanks Thalya, you're right:, and as for Sleezy G by cookylamoo	Apr 30th, 2008 01:31:17 PM
I know you guys are reviewers, not reporters, but I've got to wonder, aren't there any C.H.U.D.s in the comic business? I always assumed that's how AICN made it's rep, by having a network of tattletale fans. Or maybe I'm just thinking of the good old days. After all, comics are written and drawn MONTHS in advance. Surely there must have been somebody who could have spilled the beans. Even your Martian Manhunter info is just a guess based on a flaming cover. I think AICN should live up to it's name and provide NEWS, even if they have to invest in an AP feed.
wolverine wouldnt fight black cat by bacci40	Apr 30th, 2008 01:31:32 PM
he would tit fuck those huge boobies
Toonol by Shigeru	Apr 30th, 2008 01:35:29 PM
That's the exact reason I miss Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane so much. Heard it's coming back in Sept I think?
optimous_douche by The Heathen	Apr 30th, 2008 01:46:26 PM
SPOT ON review of Uncanny X-Men. The opening action sequence was one of the best I've seen in any medium in a long time. Awesome stuff.
"I don't think the @$$holes really want to get involved in discu by rev_skarekroe	Apr 30th, 2008 01:47:32 PM
Why not? I think it'd be a welcome change from the usual, ultimately silly, controversies about men in tights.
Thanks Heathen by optimous_douche	Apr 30th, 2008 02:08:36 PM
Comments like that make reviewing well worth the effort.
I concur, rev by Laserhead	Apr 30th, 2008 02:15:51 PM
I'd like to see a discussion of glamourpuss. Who says that a great work of art can't exhibit any prejudices, can't be, for instance, misogynistic? I haven't read the book, but the illustrations I've seen are gorgeous. Love him or hate him, Sim is an important artist in the medium we congregate to chat about, and it seems like his work should be examined here (at least once).
I agree--discussing GLAMOURPUSS is a good idea. by SleazyG.	Apr 30th, 2008 02:31:45 PM
But first I'd have to read it, and I'll be fucked if any of my money goes to support that douchebag. The only thing by him I own is his single issue of SPAWN from back in the day, and obviously I bought that long before I knew who and what Sim was. Now? Not with my money. Hell, not with your money.
BATMAN Is Cooler Than CAPTAIN AMERICA by LaserPants	Apr 30th, 2008 03:22:34 PM
I'm sorry, but Batman would kick Cap's ass.
Sadly, Martian Manhunter never really worked by CarmillaVonDoom	Apr 30th, 2008 03:37:36 PM
as a character. Can't he: become invisible, read minds, project his thoughts, shapeshift, fly???? Am I missing anything? A completely overpowered character. But wait! He IS allergic to fire...
I've got no problem giving money to Dave Sim. by rev_skarekroe	Apr 30th, 2008 03:40:46 PM
I did it every month for nearly 20 years. I'll review the damn book here in the Talkback if I manage to make it to the funnybook shop this weekend.
rev-- please do by Laserhead	Apr 30th, 2008 04:11:34 PM
I think Sim's kind of fascinating. Craziness and all.
Don't Get Me Wrong, I Like Captain America by LaserPants	Apr 30th, 2008 04:21:33 PM
But Batman would kick his ass.
So then Laserhead..... by Psynapse	Apr 30th, 2008 04:31:38 PM
You find older men mentally manipulating and molesting (but he SWEARS he didn't! Really!) underage girls fascinating? Nice to know...
As nerdy as I feel to get into this discussion by drewlicious	Apr 30th, 2008 04:37:42 PM
Batman would eventually beat Captain America. It's his relentless nature. Besides he's beaten guys faster and stronger than Cap. The cape would be a disadvantage, though. No wonder most of the Marvel Superheroes don't wear them.
Psynapse-- WTF? by Laserhead	Apr 30th, 2008 05:35:00 PM
I find Dave Sim's comic work kind of fascinating. Yes. Absolutely. I don't know the story with Sim 'mentally mainpulating and molesting underage girls', and if it's true, gee, I'd think he'd be in jail or something, but you're confusing the art with the artist. Do you like 'Chinatown'? Assuming you said yes, then you must also like older men fucking thirteen year old girls. Calm the fuck down.
Correct, Laserhead. by rev_skarekroe	Apr 30th, 2008 05:40:29 PM
I'd hate to see Psynapse's opinion of Alan Moore after reading "Lost Girls". That's the sickest comic I've read that didn't come wrapped in black plastic.
Whattaya Mean Batman Wouldn't Cross The Line? by LaserPants	Apr 30th, 2008 05:40:41 PM
He's a habitual linestepper!
by Laserhead	Apr 30th, 2008 05:42:54 PM

If it's true about Sim-- by Laserhead	Apr 30th, 2008 05:46:23 PM
--then I hope society judges him harshly and a punishment is meted out that fits the crime. But the idea that an otherwise reprehensible person can't produce something of beauty is just plain wrong. You think your favorite writers and artists haven't done some fucked up things in their lives? If I found out, say, that Van Gogh did something horrible, I wouldn't lose any admiration for his paintings.
Batman can't even beat... by AnakinsDiapers	Apr 30th, 2008 05:46:59 PM
...Deathstroke the terminater without throwiing his ultility belt at him and praying. He aint beating Cap without three weeks of vaunted "prep time".
I like Nightwing much more than Batman.. by AnakinsDiapers	Apr 30th, 2008 05:55:13 PM
..because he's Batman's equal or near equal in all the ways that count, yet he isn't crippled by being "The Batman" in the DC universe, so it's ok to see him use his acrobatics to run from people like Deathstroke and focus on fufilling whatever task he needs to fulfill. Hell, there is two Batmen in the DCU anyway: the one in his own comic and the one that appears in the JLA and every other comic he appears in. The one appearing in his own comic can be taken by surprise by mook #3 with a folding chair while the Batman in other characters titles owns a white martian spaceship and gives darkseid the willies...sheesh.
Dude, Batman Beat Superman, Like, Several Times! by LaserPants	Apr 30th, 2008 06:05:29 PM
If he can beat Superman, he can beat Cap.
No, AnakinsDiapers is right (what an embarrasing collection of w by rev_skarekroe	Apr 30th, 2008 06:15:52 PM
But yeah, are we talking about the Batman who has a hard time stopping a midget with gimmick umbrellas or the Batman who creates super satellites that spy on everyone in the world with powers?
Laserpants is right. by Err	Apr 30th, 2008 06:20:15 PM
I know I'm referencing Hush but Batman beat Joker into a bloody pulp and had to be stopped by Catwoman and Gordon before he almost killed him.
Seperation of Artist from the Art by optimous_douche	Apr 30th, 2008 06:23:02 PM
When I was working on my Bachelor's, one of the required classes for my concentration was theater criticism. The very first "rule" laid forth by my prof, was that you want to separate the piece from the production. Meaning, you can hate the words the actors are saying, but are they at least saying them convincingly? When watching Fiddler, you can find backwards ass 100 year ago Russia more boring than Granny Porn, but did the set designer make a convincing boring landscape? Look at the Sim issue the same way. You can hate the man, but you don't have to hate what the man produces. Some use their craft to bleed their personalities all over the page, while others use the page as a shield to avoid who they truly are. Maybe Sim is the latter?
Dam I Was Repetitive - Sorry Laser by optimous_douche	Apr 30th, 2008 06:25:40 PM
You had the sage separate art from artist thing already -- my bad!
Batman/Cap by Jinxo	Apr 30th, 2008 06:47:16 PM
I wish I was at my home computer. Okay, reviewer so sort of disqualified from the Tournament to some extent. But I had the idea for a wildly wrong and strange Batman/Cap battle. For a laugh I wrote it up. Now I'm jonesing to post it in TB for the hell of it but... I'm not at home where I have it stored! I forwarded to the @$$holes though so I'm hoping... if any of you guys can find that, could you throw it up in the TB. It's utterly wrong and not anything that should ever be thought of as a valid fight. But it was so wrong it made me laugh as I wrote it.
The real difference is that Sim is not just an artist. by SleazyG.	Apr 30th, 2008 06:52:26 PM
He's also producing a commodity. If I find him objectionable, I vote with my dollars by not buying his product. In exactly the same way, I don't go see movies from the kiddie-fucker who made "Jeepers Creepers" and I don't pay money to watch Roman "I'm a piece of shit on legs" Polanski. I've made the decision that since these three guys make their living off of their art, and I want them dead, I'm not going to help them make their livings. And speaking of Polanski: do I like "Chinatown"? You bet. But the first time I saw it was before I knew he got a 13 year old girl drunk, drugged her, raped her, and then fled the country to escape prosecution. It was also before he said the only reason guys like me hated him was because we were jealous and wished we could do the same. No, asshole, it's because you're a fucking animal and deserve to be put down like one. So no, I don't go see Polanski movies. Hell, I don't even watch 'em on cable for free. Why? Cuz fuck that guy. How does this relate to Dave Sim? Cuz I don't like batshit insane misogynistic pedophiles, so I won't buy his projects. That's how.
I completely understand-- by Laserhead	Apr 30th, 2008 06:59:52 PM
--not wanting to give the dude your money. Fair enough. What I took issue with was the assertion that if I appreciate the art of someone who's done a terrible thing, I must condone the terrible thing, which is not the case.
You may not be condoning it... by SleazyG.	Apr 30th, 2008 07:12:42 PM
...but you're paying for the legal fees. Or, at the very least, solidifying the idea in their minds that there are people out there who agree with them. This is especially true of Sim, whose whacked-out belief system is impossible to divorce from his work because he writes about it in every issue, both in the story and in the letters pages. If he were creating art distinct from his personal failings, that'd be one thing--we've all enjoyed music by people who drink excessively, use drugs, womanize, etc.--but when the art is a direct expression of those failings, it's a little harder to ignore.
Well, Sim's totally allowed by Laserhead	Apr 30th, 2008 07:35:36 PM
to have beliefs I don't share, and to express them in his art. His art can be compelling AND I can disagree with the beliefs he expresses in it. In fact, that his art is built around such crazy failings somehow makes it more interesting to me in ways. And there's a world of difference between someone thinking women suck and expressing that philosophy in a comic, and someone being a pedophile. I never heard the pedophile story. Did he do time?
hmm... by blackthought	Apr 30th, 2008 08:43:22 PM
batman v. cap...well um, batman...i mean, batman can't even beat batman. how do you expect some else too? damn...i'm hungry...
SleazyG. by messi	Apr 30th, 2008 10:48:24 PM
I called Jonn Jonz' death when Morrison did the interview, couple the cover of Requiem with the human flame who is a manhunter villain and wants libra to prove he can offer him things. etc. and yeah I spoiled the Barry Allen return.
Batman beat Cap with sewage in DC vs Marvel by blindambition238	Apr 30th, 2008 10:49:22 PM

Batman Vs Captain America: The Way It Should Not Happen by Jinxo	May 1st, 2008 01:35:30 AM
Okay, home now. So here is my way wrong take on the Batman/Captain America fight. DC, Marvel and comic books fans everywhere, you should all rightly be apalled. Captain America heads to the ring, Batman already sits menacingly in his corner, his cape hanging down in front of his body. As the Captain hops over the ring, waving to his cheering fans, Batman stares across at him, all that is visible of him is his scowling mouth and his eyes damning Captain America to hell. Captain America happily swaggers to the center of the ring. Batman moves with frightening purpose to the center. Is he trying to gain a psychological edge on the patriotic hero? They acknowledge each other and the bell rings. Almost faster than the eye can follow Batman turns and begins to run away from Captain America. Around and round he goes crying plaintively for Captain not to hurt him. Batman’s womanly high pitched cries shock and confuse the crowd. Captain America is bewildered. Some near the ring later claim they could see him mouth the words, “What the f***???” As Batman finally curls into a ball in the corner of the ring, Captain America cautiously approaches, asking, “Hey, are you okay? Calm down? What’s wrong with you?” Batman continues to cower and whimper. He keeps saying he wants his dolly. Cap says, “It’s okay, we’ll find your dolly.” Then, as he is right on top of Batman, suddenly insane rage flares in the Batman’s eyes. It’s too late. Before Cap can react Batman punches Cap right in the troat, crushing Caps windpipe. Cap falls to the mat gasping for air. Batman leaps to his feat. His shouts of, “Yeah! Yeah! That’s right! Take that you whore mongerer!” as he flexes and poses WWE style draw shocked gasps from the crowd. Medics try to get to Cap but Batman is just insane with rage. Eventually, just to reach Cap they have to taser Batman repeatedly. He is taken out on a stretcher, still mumbling threats to eat the medics’ hearts. In a luxury box above the ring, a beautiful young playmate looks on in shock. “I can’t believe that just happened. That was the strangest thing I have ever seen. That seemed very unlike Batman.” “It did, didn’t it? I’m sorry you had to see that,” answered her date, playboy millionaire Bruce Wayne. Bruce reflected on the awkward spot he had been placed in and wondered if he had done the right thing. Bruce Wayne had been invited to this very high profile event. His not attending would have been noticed. His disappearing during Gotham’s greatest hero’s match would also not have gone unnoticed. He had felt there was only one choice: the old dress-Alfred-up-as-Batman ruse. It shouldn’t work but it always did. Of course, stepping into the ring would require more of Alfred than just “looking” like the Batman. He would have to be able to put up a solid fight. Powers, gadgets and such had been banned from use but Batman felt the situation required a slight bending of the rules, otherwise Alfred would have had no chance. Thus, before entering the ring, Alfred had been given a cocktail mix of various energy and muscle enhancing substances as well as some experimental psychotropic drugs from his company’s pharmaceutical division. He had hoped Alfred would have reacted a little less extremely, that he wouldn’t have appeared quite so coked up. Still bottom line, it actually had worked. Alfred had won! Wow. The end of the match would also provide adequate cover for Bruce’s departure to check on what had happened to Batman. With a little finesse he could get in and switch places with Alfred before anyone was the wiser. He would enter the next round with an edge, coming in fresh while his opponent would be worn from his first round. As he headed down to the ring, guilt weighed on Bruce. He didn’t expect things to go this extreme. Alfred had insisted on helping. Still, even knowing that after the fight he had the tech and contacts to undo any physical/psychological damage done to Alfred, Bruce still should have said no. Too late now. Nothing to do but head down, secret Alfred off to expert medical help and suit up from the next round.
That was way better Jinxo by blindambition238	May 1st, 2008 02:03:12 AM

Cap never killed anyone in WWII by rev_skarekroe	May 1st, 2008 09:00:11 AM
According to current continuity, he somehow managed to make it through that entire conflict without taking one life. Yep. And that's one reason I prefer Ultimate Captain America.
Charles Manson has produced several works of music by rock-me Amodeo	May 1st, 2008 09:26:14 AM
I didn't buy any of them. Neither did Sharon Tate, for that matter. everyone draws their own lines where they must. It's okay that they are not necessarily in the same spot in the sand.
Ahhhh Sharon Tate by optimous_douche	May 1st, 2008 09:55:37 AM
YouTube her. A tragic loss there for hetero guys everywhere. Look for the movie she did with Dean Martin and you'll get why. You have to decide whether you want to contribute to the artist's debauchery. Polanski got money from every movie he made, and whoever went to see those films fed his coffers. If you hate an artists morality, but love their work, it's a damn tough decision.
Not comparinging per se... by rock-me Amodeo	May 1st, 2008 11:02:14 AM
but seeing as how we were talking Polanski, the comparison DID come to mind. However, comparing murder to pedophilia is really an insult to murderers everywhere, so you're correct in that respect. And yes, we should stop before some idiot screams in all-caps "This is just like nazi germany!" the last refuge of poor debaters.
So is Dave Sim a certifiable pedophile? by rev_skarekroe	May 1st, 2008 11:21:29 AM
Or does he just have a comic that involves pedophiles? Because if that's all it takes, you people had better not pick up another Alan Moore book for as long as you live.
CBR reviews "GlamourPuss" by Psynapse	May 1st, 2008 11:26:08 AM
In the interest of fairness: http://tinyurl.com/4lc8bo Th ere's your review have at it.
Oh and I may be mistaken.... by Psynapse	May 1st, 2008 11:31:54 AM
A few years back I had read about dave Sim dating a 15 year old (but swearing it was non-physical in nature), later marrying and then divorcing her. I can't find bio information on Deni Loubert (his 1st wife) so i can't confirm if it was her I had read about. if anyone can find the articles, please post the Tinyurl and thanks.
Oh and... by Psynapse	May 1st, 2008 11:35:19 AM
Douchebaggery? Sure depending on my mood that day (takes one to know one of course). Unaware? Not nearly as much as juvenile name callers with too little sense to know when an argument is dropped in favor of civility (That and after spendin 4 days in the hospital and nearly dying with Pneumonia and a torn lung, verbal "I pwned you suckah" matches on the internet aren't quite as interesting as they once were).
Ah. by rev_skarekroe	May 1st, 2008 11:57:13 AM
So the pedophilia accusation is based on a rumor that you recollect hazily and have no way of verifying. I'll just be moving on, then.
Actually, boinking a 15 year old isn't pedophilia by DevilCat	May 1st, 2008 01:25:38 PM
"Pedophilia" is a psychological term and refers to adults who are sexually aroused by PREPUBESCENT children. A fifteen year old may be underage, but she is an adolescent, not a prepubescent. That doesn't make Sim dating a fifteen year old morally or legally justified. However, just because he's immoral doesn't make him a pedophile.
So there-- by Laserhead	May 1st, 2008 02:14:31 PM
We've gone from "you find Sim's work fascinating, you must find pedophilia fascinating" to "I think I maybe heard once somewhere that he dated a 15 year old, but it wasn't physical." Then Devilcat provides the timely reminder that sex with an adolescent isn't pedophilia (and, according to the supposed, half-recalled rumor, Sim didn't have sex with the girl). Terrific. Glad to know the righteous indignation isn't taken up lightly. Ahem.
Oh really? Riiiiight.... by Psynapse	May 1st, 2008 03:34:10 PM
Point 1:Pedophilia N. a sexual attraction to children OR...The act or fantasy on the part of an adult of engaging in sexual activity with a child or children.**Notice the lack of the term 'prepubescent' in EITHER definition (which are taken right from Dictionary.com and verified with Merriam-Webster). NEVER try to school me in the english language, you'll lose every time as unlike you, I actually know it. (and hey, ask anyone if 15 ISN't a child okay?) Point 2: I just openly admitted that I had read online what I understood to be Sim's underage activities that I now cannot find a record of. Nice to know that admitting you may be mistaken only gets you further insulted. Way to exemplify humanity jackass. Point 3: Considering that A) I'm the one who initially made the comparison and that B) you take any and every opportunity you can to crassly belittle me what assumption would have been the correct one may I ask? Oh wait, I'm yet again attempting a civil discourse with you, something you clearly lack a capacity for. Lastly, regardless of WHAT Dave Sim's 'activities" have been, I KNOW that am one of the 'Homosexualists' that Sim claims is part and parcel of the ruination of the modern world so you and anyone like you who choose to support such a hate-mongering asshole (not @$%$hole so take note) can go fuck yourself with a chainsaw. Because if you support a hate-monger in any way then YOU are one as well.
Mongerer by Jinxo	May 1st, 2008 04:47:20 PM
And what do I come away from this heated debate? A fascination with the word "Mongerer". We need to using that word more. Mostly it just get the bad rap. Whore monger. Hate monger. But then there's like fish mongerer, all alone, the one not shitty mongerer. And we don't fully use all versions of the word. Monger? Check. Mongerer? You betcha. Mongering? ALl the time. But that's about it and usually with another word. Never here, "Hey Thad, wanna see a movie tomorrow." "I would but I have some mongering today. I tried to monger some kittens yesterday but, man, no one wants a kitten mongered to them at the prices I charge." Vending machine? Hells no. Now it's a Candy Mongering Machine. Two Japanese comics companies merged and began writing a comic about a guy who sells wild street dogs. It's a Mergered Mongrel Mongerer Manga.
On the serious side... by Jinxo	May 1st, 2008 04:48:34 PM
Seriously balancing someone doing immoral horrible crap against using something they output for societal use or consumption is tricky. Somebody does creepy twisted stuff, okay, I'm not really wanting to give him my money. But, seriously, what if he does produce some transcendant artistic work. Not saying a guy who messes with kids and then writes about it. But what if it turned out DaVinci liked to do horrible things involving shaved monkeys and a spatula. Really dsgusting things. Do you throw out or discount what he's done? And bringing up Nazi's isn't crazy off base. This issue is a double sliding scale. On the one hand what horrible crap someone did, on the other what benefit are you trying to weigh against it. So creepy child toucher, hard to justify buying a comic that will put cash in his pocket. But what about some twisted Nazi freak who performed atrocious experiments. Now growing up I always heard that all the evil "experiments" the Nazi's did were crazy and pointless and of no scientific value. But I've also heard that some of the stuff they did actually did produce usable data. In particular I believe there were experiments about air pressure and depressurization relevant to air travel. Now lets be clear, I'm talking evil vile unforgivable they'll-rot-in-hell-for-it experiements. But supposedly some of theose experiments lead to some advancements in airline tech. I'm sure someone will say I got that wrong. For the sake of argument, lets say it is true. So, should we not travel by air? Aren't we taking benefit from those evil deeds and by benefitting from them in some way passively condoning them? Not throwing stones at either side on this fight with this. When I heard that this was potentially true I sat and tried to think through the moral implications of it. Bottom line it gets complicated morally and emotionally no matter what scale the issue in question. And not to imply messing with kids is "lesser". That is way wrong. But I do think saying someone who would buy the works of someone guilty of a sin is guilty by proxy of the exact same sin. If you KNOWINGLY support someone guilty of some heinous deed then you might be guilty of A sin but I don't think it's fair to say you are guilty of the same sin. That's just too easy a way for well intentioned people to start going too far with hate themselves. Call a hate mongerer a hate mongerer. Call a pedophile a pedophile. Call those who support them "creeps that support them" and be done with it.
I... I... by Jinxo	May 2nd, 2008 01:26:18 PM
Seriously, I was expecting SOMEONE to yell at me for something in there. Meant to effect the yelling, not stop it. Come on you yellers, get back to it. Don't let the new guy stop you cold. Damn. I killed the old yellers.
Sorry, Shenjanno... by rock-me Amodeo	May 2nd, 2008 03:59:27 PM
Looks like your shit-fu is weak today.
What? by Jinxo	May 2nd, 2008 04:22:51 PM
How DAAARE you Rock ME. How daaaare you insult the man's Kung Fu??? What you trying to start something? Are ya? Work with me now. Are ya starting something?
Jinxo's turning into Jacko.. by Thalya	May 2nd, 2008 04:30:46 PM

Bastard! by Jinxo	May 2nd, 2008 05:12:07 PM
Jacko seems dangerously close to calling me Michael Jackson or crazy like him or some such crap. That is way out of line. I am nothing like that crazy bastard. Except for multiple plastic surgeries. And singing like a woman. And the fact that I moonkwalk everywhere. But I have never haphazzardly dangled a baby out a window. If I'm putting a baby out of a window I mean business. None of this, "Oopsie," crap. No way. Solid punt right through the uprights and away he goes. Seriously I am so different from Michael Jackson it's like night and an entirely different night.
HUSH = "best"? by I am Batman	May 3rd, 2008 05:31:11 PM
Not even if "best" meant crappily-written-but-with-real -pretty-pictures. And they're bringing Hush back, too. Batman LET Capt. "I Quit, Tony - Please Don't Hit Me" America beat him. He was so tired of his own bullshit stories, he decided to quit, too. RIP, indeed.
hmm... by blackthought	May 7th, 2008 10:25:12 AM
talkback mongerer.

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