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I'm all for hyperbolic statements Harry, but c'mon! Peter Jackson paved the way well enough.

And now they've already both been mention can we put a ban on a) anyone mentioning the walking criticism from Clerks II, either as their own or a deliberate quote? It's as lame and predictable as a Dalek/stairs joke in a Doctor Who talkback; and b) stop bitching that "The Hobbit shouldn't be split into two films!" - it's not being split. The second film is a film spanning and bridging the sixty years between The Hobbit and Fellowship to show how that seemingly innocent adventure evolved into the darkness that was to come. All from existing Tolkien material that just needs adapting into a narrative form. Read the stories (this was been said since December when it was first announced) before fanboy bitching about something that isn't happening.

Anyone else notice the 2010/2011 release dates are now 2011/2012? Guess they can squeeze in a tenth anniversary re-release of the trilogy at the same time!

Since Snipes was mentioned above, I'll add my $.02. Sure, maybe they were wanting to "make an example" out of him to dissuade others, but 3 years for misdemeanors? And how many *white* white-collar criminals are walking around free every day, having worked out sweet deals or skated altogether?

The law's the law, but in this age of widespread corporate crime, to single out a prominent black artist for this kind of treatment doesn't strike me as random chance.

It will be interesting to see what kind of film(s) Del Toro can make while playing in the wonderful sandbox built by Jackson & Co.

That being said, the only thing that makes me nervous about this is the idea behind the proposed second film. There is no novel or set framework from which to draw upon here. It will take a tremendous amount of effort to craft a film (that will appeal to the average viewer) out of the various segments of Tolkien's overall work. Whoever is assigned this task has certainly got their work cut out for them.

Well, here's to another adventure in Middle Earth. Here's to a smaller, more light-hearted journey. Here's to the return of Gandalf the Grey (Ian McKellan). Here's to finally seeing Smaug on the big screen.

And here's to more HOBBIT Talkbacks on AICN!!!

Guillermo Del Toro, the Spanish Michael Moore (looks wise). Just put a ballcap on him.

Good news for the LOTR series, though!

I'm sure he'll oversee a helluva lot as exec producer though.

queefer- are you 2true in disguise? seriously: "By the third one I wanted to rape Frodo with a shotgun and blow my load through the top of his head". And then saying you know where someone lives?

I'm a bit scared.

You need to relax.

He's one scary fucker.

so this time we have "shotgun" and "head" whereas last time I think it was "gravel" and "face"

I wasn't saying it was good to be a geek. I was saying somebody wasn't even reaching that level. Personally, I'm not a geek. I'm the motherfucker that's gonna rape your face and then grind it off on a brick wall.

Dude, you're absolutely right. I hope these assholes who can't deal with this movie don't go to it. I just know I'm going to have one of their whiney asses behind me in the theater and I'm going to be thrown out yet again for slugging another annoying fucking fanboy. Goddamn these pathetic basement dwellers piss me off! You fuckers better hope you're not in the same theater I'm in, or you're going to taste your nut sacks.

Just accept it man, it's alright, you're among friends.

This is good news for most of us, but really bad news for you. You do, of course, realize that this means you and I will be slogging it out in the talkback trenches for the next five years or so. The battle will no doubt commence fairly early, but it should really start heating up once the first production stills surface. I personally can't wait for the first pic of Smaug breathing flames so you can regale us with how terrible it is that the color of the fire is... the color of fire.

Because not only is that kind of thing funny but Ringy might explode through sheer apoplexy.

Queefustice!

Please explain to me why Dwarf tossing is such a big deal to you? It's not like it happened constantly in Jackson's effort.

There's no point trying to explain that every one has a different imagination, and what Jackson put on screen was what Jackson saw it as. He'll just wail and gnash his teeth until he gets as near as possible to what he wants.

Hysterically he once described the elves as being an Aryan wet dream (or words to that effect) and I'd actually like to know how on middle-earth you depict elves without making them look like that.

Would you like his appaling doggerel translated to film as well?

Sorry alocksley, ringy, but the LOTR was fucking amazing.

He never complains about the Dwarves (so refers to Dwarf tossing instead), but I suppose there isn't that much variety in a short dude with a beard.

So what if he finds it amusing?

I have different issues with them, so can understand why you don't like them, but what I am completely mistyfied about are the ludicrous reasons you have for such dislike. I don't think he has "sneering contempt" for it, in fact I think he produced a respectful translation. Would you rather he had slavishly copied everything from the novel (don't answer)?

At least he got rid of Tom Bombadil.

BTW- that scene in the frighteners is funny, as is much of Bad Taste and Braindead. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it isn't quite funny.

I have to say that I do not like The 2 Towers and I HATE return of the king, so I'm not been fanboyish about it,

It doesn't matter how many times you say Jackson made the GREATEST ADVENTURE EPIC FILM IN HISTORY....nothing could be further from the truth.

So no big deal with them making this "bridge" film. If GDT intends to stay faithful to the Jackson version...well, after the hack adaptation of the first batch of three ya might as well write whatever the fuck ya want. Although to be fair it should be stated that it's "loosely" based on Tolkien. Or some other description, such as "somewhat", "kinda", or "marginally".

wah wah wah (fap-fap)...how dare you say that about the diety named Jackson (fap-fap-fap)....

It will hilarious and gloriously stupid.

"we used to smarter"

As if we needed confirmation of that.

Just because he wanted a more physical fight doesn't mean he hates magic.

You know who you are? You're the geek in Nightmare on Elm Street 3 that gets chomped by his own wheelchair: "In my dreams, I'm an all powerful wizard".

Oh wait....I forgot. Sleeping on a gigantic pile of money with lots of beautiful, naked women. Scratch that question.

Your bitterness passed with ROTK into kong so I know damned well it is just against the director.

Good times, good times...

If you think Jackson's "hate" for wizard-style magic is a point of contention, then you should re-read your Tolkien. The master himself did not care for the idea of "magic" especially in the Harry Potter/Bedknobs and Broomesticks manner. Tolkien always meant for the "magic" of his characters to be more low-key, insinuated, and unexplained. The fact that Jackson may not be a big fan of wizards shooting lighting bolts or some shite at one another is lockstep with Tolkien's vision. And he admitted that when putting a wizard onscreen, you've got to be able to somehow show their "power" without them casting ridiculous spells all the time. The fact that their is so little "classic magic" in the book (and film) is one of the story's strengths. You should know this.

What does Gandalf actually do in the way of magic in the books? I think Jackson put in more magic than Tolkien.

Zombie Makeup? on hybrid flesh-eating monsters? heaven forbid.

Warg battle, fine, but there wasn't the wizards duel- so I'd call that even.

Really, you are nitpicking.

I've said it before but you are the classic purist: generally good taste, but with anorak level obsessivenes.

I can totally buy people having problems with the 2nd and 3rd films, but for me, Fellowship was a perfect introduction to the world.

Oh, and watch your sleeve, it just caught fire.

But what he does is bitch repeatedly at some percieved lack of respect.

Not a good thing to insert many, many, *many* useless scenes (Jackson's kids, Aragorn falling off a cliff, etc) when that time would've been better served showing things that were omitted.

(Kind of tough to think of Smaug without remembering Richard Boone's performance in the Rankin-Bass cartoon.)

WHAT?! Dude, what are you drinking because I want some.

I will agree with you on hoping that Avatar raises the bar to a level yet seen.

James McAvoy is still my first choice for Bilbo but I would also like to see Paul Giamatti taking the role. Anyone who caught his performance in the recent HBO "John Adams" will know why.

Praise Jack-Toro, praise them with great praise! Eglerio!

That said, I REALLY hope it does make it to production, because these film should KICK ASS!

AHHHH...thunk! McKellen confirmed to reprise Gandalf! Oh happy day!

Movie One: The Hobbit

Movie Two: The Rise of the Shadow

Very, very good...the man obviously gets the book. People need to get over this "It's a kids story." attitude. Even Tolkien's kids gave him shit about the tone in the ealrier part of the book. Of course, if the movie stays with a narrator, it WILL have a more children oriented tone...wonder how that will be handled?

BTW, speak to DOT lately?

I find the whole sequence of the Hobbit and LoTR to be eerily similar to my experience. I was turned on to LoTR first and read the Hobbit afterwards. Heh, it's just another case of his-toe-ree repeating!

i know PJ is making 'lovely bones' (boring) and 'tintin' (potentially lame) but maybe this will mean he gets to then concentrate on 'temeraire', which will be fucking awesome. just wait.

hey gents! hope everybody's doin well!

“I was never into heroic fantasy. At all. I don’t like little guys and dragons, hairy feet, hobbits — I’ve never been into that at all. I don’t like sword and sorcery, I hate all that stuff.”

That quote is referenced here: http://tinyurl.com/4kq86g (among other places). So, uh, why is this guy making "The Hobbit," then?

Del Toro says he had affection for Lewis' work when he was young (though not anymore), but that he never liked Tolkien's stuff. In fact, he blatantly uses the word "hate."

Personally, I like the concept of Del Toro taking over The Hobbit. It's a different book with a different voice and style. I think Del Toro needs to take a child's eye view of the quest.

and deffo Pearlman for Smaug!

There are really only two viable explanations for his quote:

1) That he's referring to the deluge of rote fantasy flooding pop culture today.

2) That he is so cynical that he makes nothing but good to great fantasy movies even though he hates the genre with a passion.

Honestly, Del Toro saying he "hates" fantasy is about as valid as John Ford saying he "hated" westerns.

I know this quote is making Ringy cream his panties since he now thinks he has the argumentative hook required to vindicate everything he at this very moment is planning to hate about the new movies.

This is your brain. This is your brain after listening to Ringy.

*points to blob of cold oatmeal on the floor*

Just say no, kiddies.

Rhys-Davies voiced Treebeard as well as playing Gimli so by all means let Perlman play Beorn too.

Ringy- I know that you play the loserish game with the dice, but I bet you also dress up like an elf and prance about in the countryside waving a cardboard sword screaming "I am ringwearer, mighty impaler of virgins" while the world laughs.

That quote is obviously a joke.

When he takes down a graboid with a #2 pencil and screams "Hail to the king" then he might make it.

He's got a lot of pent up aggression, just lacks finesse.

Shit, men want to be him, and women just want him.

I just mentioned his awesomeness in the Burton thread.

True only pitches up every now and again to vent his rage and spread fear amongst the TB herd. But Judge Bukake is here every day upholding "the law".

"Not even if she came up to me with her big pouty lips and said "fuck me, cowboy," then bent over in front of me. I mean, I'd probably lacerate my thighs on her protruding tail bone. Besides, can she even support the weight of those lips these days, without a back brace or something?"

Just wow. One angry dude.

He's not my hero anymore.

"With a username like that, I'm guessing heterosexual vaginal intercourse isn't exactly your thing."

Does YakMalla not know that High Q (heh-heh) will smite his ball sack with a brick?

I don't think he posted there, but the word of High Q must be spread.

I do that to read some of the epic TB wars.

I almost miss m-o-m, but at least Ringy is coming back to the boil.

Sigh, you don't get proper trolls anymore, you just get vomit inducing fuckmonkeys.

Although I think I have now trained braffed. Which should win me a nobel prize.

Yes, the ilk that is around now is utterly pathetic and just plain annoying as fuck.

Now if glovedone doesn't revert back to his usual form, your nobel prize will be in the mail.

It was a bit cold- the dude did make Planet of The Apes.

Not only is it a great handle that nails the flaws of that shocker, but his appearance with a plaintive one line "anyone seen my dad" in every thread is fucking poetry.

Q = class

Trollish twat that repeated ad nauseum an unfunny joke of mine, calls me out in every post and whines because he doesn't get what he percieves as his due recognition.

A pox on the tosser. I'm going home to sacrifice a cat and call the holy trinity into action.

I fucking loathed Kong- had 2 goes at watching it and didn't even get to Skull Island.

It seemed like fucking DAYS passed- why make a film called KONG and not introduce the monkey unti your audience is nearly dead from boredom. Don't they know we can simply turn it off and return the DVD.

On a different note, I bought a pirate copy of Kong, got it home and was overjoyed to discover that it was some piece of shit from the 70's called KONG LIVES! which came complete with an opening sequence of Kong being gunned down by Apache Helicopters that had me in tears. I think Jeff Bridges was in it.

An awesomely terrible movie that was about a billion times more enjoyable than Jackson's bloated fiasco

I have included the writings of the prophet Q in them, and I'l get them out to you as soon as I can.

I don't want to see Kong ice dancing thank you very much.

The lights are going out and we may not see them lit again in our time.

There was just a collective shudder from the troll underworld...

And just for the record, Jackson's Kong was the best CGI character ever put on film. Even better than ol' Gollum.

Ringy, I actually felt ten years shaved off my life when I read your tired post. There are so many things wrong with it and it exemplifies exactly what's so fundamentally flawed in every bit of film criticism you have ever delivered on these hallowed boards. I can't be bothered to address them at this point since I'm too tired and this TB is on it's way off the front page. Rest assured, however, that I'll address them at a future opportunity if you should mention them again.

McShane is a cracking suggestion.

On another note Doc, the old LoTR days at AICN saw many posters hanging around the TB's weeks after they'd been posted...similiar to what you see on some TB's today. They were fun after the trolls lost interest and went away. I suspect R9 will crash any of those.

Yeah, hyperbole, like I said.

It must be acknowledged that, like familiarity, success can also breed contempt. Jackson was/is subject to that phenom. A large part of the Kong criticism would've been given a pass if it had been to the taste of those giving the critique. "Not my genre!" as the Kitchen Sisters said.

"In your left hand, Gramps... where it's been for the past decade."

"Billy... did Peter Jackson reply to my telegram yet?"

"We have email now, Gramps. Get with the program."

"Billy, Grandpa has to make a stinky!"

"Well Gramps, that's what the Metamucil and the homing beacon on your walker are for."

I don't know which I loathe more: old people who cling to antiquated children's books, or antiquated people who cling to old children's books.

"Billy... what time is The Lawrence Welk Show on?"

"He's dead, Gramps... as I wish you were."

The angry book store owner ran out and slapped the kid one more time yelling, “It’s a BOOK you imbecile! It’s called The Hobbit!”

Pretty funny since 95% of the Tailenders are all in their twenties. Hey, why let facts get in the way of a mindless flamefest?

25% Part II? Is that New Math?

Welcome to The Cult of the Tailenders...would anyone like to become a mOm?