I'll have some of that!

The way I see it, Pyun is slightly better than Boll, only because I did like both SOTS and Nemesis.So maybe, just maybe I'll give him a pass.

Maybe..

Fucking grab some beers, light up a spliff and laugh yourself silly.

Wankers.

As for Pyun's career, I always had the idea that he was most comfortable doing S&TS and had always wanted to go back to the genre, hacking his way through everything else (PYUN GOTTA EAT!) until this, his moment to shine, finally arrived.

Or maybe he's just shit.

Either way, I can't wait to see this thing.

Yancy Butler in a metal glove and a leather jacket?

FUCK OFF!!!!

It's an attempt at a technological S&S film. Sort of Final Fantasy-esque.

Albert Pyun isn't as bad a director as Uwe Boll, he's worse. Always has been, always will be. I mean when you've made something like 40 movies, and this piece of utter shit is one of the 'highlights' of your career, well, there just aint any coming back from that.

the difference is that Puyn's efforts are fun, Boll's are not.

And I can't believe I haven't seen Beastmaster 3. I never knew Casper was in it. That combo is just earth shattering goodness!

Ah, the good ole days of titty in PG movies...

One would think this is prime material to be released in a triple-pack.

Or...I have no fucking clue.

Just a bit of trivia...

Yes, I am a sad Beastmaster anorak.

Bloodrayne would have been just as bad if not for Ben Kingsley's lending a modicum of "class" to that shitest.Pyun's Cap was bad, but it's fight scenes far outweigh anything Bollshit has done.

I've always wondered if kids today feel the same way that we do about our 'cheesy' movies from when we were younger. Probably not.

I was wrong.

I am the proud owner of one of the exploding collars from Batte Royale though.

And the wife thinks I'm mildly retarded for my love of it.

Reminds me of the awesome exploding-collar prison schlocker Wedlock with Rutger Hauer -- or was I the only one who saw that one?

So be it.

Rutger in a unisex prison.

He will learn The Way.

My daughter is two, but she will learn the ways of the force.

Take the gargoyle movies for instance, I mean, fucking gargoyles. That's prime material. But if fails miserably in it's attempt for good cheese.

And the Minotaur myth is fish in a barrel easy to hit for cheese.

Mind you, Tony does stand around spouting some dreadful sub-poetic nonsense, taking bong hits from a goat skull and trying to nail his (admittedly attractive) sister.

I'm not sure that they qualify as sufficiently good to be BEASTS though. Even if they steal clothing

That is from miamiferret.org website. Didn't know ferrets were big in Miami.

It's very funny, and most unlike him.

Now if we can get one about bears or Leprechaun then we should be away to the races.

One thing- Leprechaun has been about everywhere, I think we really need a Lep in Dinosaur Hell. Accuracy has never been a strong point of those, so we could have some barbarians and swordplay and big stupid monsters/ dinosaurs and LEPRECHAUN.

It's unlike him because he tends to ignore the trollish ramblings of these fucks. Which makes it even funnier. In the political thread he asked if they had bred yet to produce even more uselessness.

I've a feeling Xiphos may be right about them.

Cause we all know combining franchises works.

Still, life in the village of Emur seemed pretty sedate and cool.

"Search for your destiny in the Valley of Aruk."

And of course LL shooting the shark is great. Such a tough fucking shot, and he nails it, no problem. Tom Jane riding the shark for like 5 minutes is great too.

Hello ladies!

Although I can find some love for Die Hard 2 I still maintain it's Renny Harlin's best effort.

And I seem to remember them all being PG, althoug the BBFC has recently reclassified them as 18.

It seems to me to be unfair that they are 18, some of my formative cinema experiences are to those movies.

sigh, spandex just isn't used properly nowadays. It keeps getting wasted in Superhero costumes when it could be applied to sexy women.

The hack.

And Doc, while he's learning The Way, make sure you get that kid of yours into ninja training...post-haste! The world needs more ninjas!

"She is not a nympho, there are more mutants than dinosaurs, and the man has a mullet, but what can you do?" (imdb review).

It's one of the funnier efforts, basically they are descendants from Earth Colonists and she spends her whole time fighting mutants wearing bugger all.

Yup, the supes thread is more of the same shit.

Why do you post to a MOVIE website if you never discuss movies?

And the only thing you own is the marks around your wrists from the handcuffs your daddy makes you wear after sexually abusing you like the little bitch you are.

Why do you come visit a MOVIE site when you do nothing but troll around with your pathetic attempts at attention?

Another question: how does your mom feel knowing that her husband shoves his dick up her child's ass on a daily basis? Does she cry herself to sleep every night? Do you apologize to your mom?

You're a TEACHER, aren't you, Jarv? :D

Braffed - Your name is based on conjugating the noun Braff (BRAFF, n. To be the bitch in EVERYTHING HE STARS IN. To be John C. McGinley's bitch in everything HE'S in, so we hope McGinley gets cast as Starr in PREACHER) into a fucking verb. You call everyone on here losers, yet your name means "to tar someone with the gross accusation that they are as wet lettuce as famed bitch Zach Braff". And that makes you a sad, sad bitch indeed.

Get your lame ass to bed. Streetlights are on.

Make sure you put on your jammies with the footsies, wouldn't want you to get cold.

Never mind, I can believe it.

Ah, don't get me started.

During the course of the show, they also pointed out two things I never knew. One, that Sorbo was actually the alternate choice for Superman in CLARK AND LOIS (but lost out at the last minute to Dean Cain), and second that at one point Sorbo was actually ranked the Third most bankable TV star in Hollywood (behind Oprah and Regis) and that at its height of popularity, HERCULES was actually the MOST watched TV show in the world. To which Sorbo joked back, "Yeah, we were BAYWATCH BC."

You say you "discuss movies all the time". When?! Where?! Because it sure as Hell ain't on this site. All you do is keep a lookout for a handful of Talkbackers (who have all destroyed you on several occassions) and as soon as you find them, you attack them with a bunch of weak-ass trollishness. Trust me - I've seen and dealt with some memorable trolls...but your shit is WEAK.

So, what it comes down to is this (like I've told you before): I'm infinitely cooler than you. And so are the guys who continue to trounce you at every turn. Now, I'm sure you're already beating yourself up trying to think of some sort of crazy comeback. One that you'll probably tag with "OWNED" or some other ludicrous remark. And I could challenge you to say something...anything...that might appear to be intelligent or even clever...but I know it's something you're not capable of doing. Unlike deepthroating pickles, it's really not your bag.

killing on a cosmic scale for bizarre "reasons"

MNG- that was funny, alas wasted, but brilliant none the less.

Pillows, the monkey revoution is set to start. But I predict it will be curtailed by the Bear uprising. Simply because monkeys serve as a mid-mayhem snack for the large bear.

Novembre, do you know what's really sad? posting here criticising others and telling them to get a life. We all do things other than post here, it's just a fun place to kill some time.

You don't get the same quality of troll nowadays. They're always pathetic like Braffed, moronic and unfunny like Gotham or bitter and stupid like McFly. Or downright fucking unpleasant like AnimalBRaneBalls- who makes me sick.

I miss insanity and pointy-headedness, so am thanking the lord for the return of Ringy. We just need zfisk/ gingertwit/BSB to abandon his makeover/cococococolopez to tell us about music/ or mercier to give us a truly scary insight into the mind of a basement-dwelling loony.

In reverse order-

3)28 weeks later: boneheaded, dull, badly acted, badly written rehash of the first one- except this time they decided to ignore London geography. The most unnecessary sequel since Matrix Reloaded

2)30 Days of Night: This film makes me want to punch everyone that recommended it (Harry) in the face. Fucking terrible waste of an excellent concept- with ridiculous cliched characters, a dearth of acting, and an ending that makes me want to never watch a vampire film again. And I HATED the vampires: poorly conceived neo-goth wankers that inexplicable communicated through annoying echo-location and shrieking, they also didn't haev fangs but had whole mouths full of pointy teeth instead. Not scary. Note to Hollywood- shrieking is not frightening, and what made sense in the Descent does not make sense anywhere else.

1)Halloween. I didn't watch it, but there was no way this wasn't going to be number 1. How the fuck dare you remake the archetype slasher movie. A film so fucking perfect that it still scares the shit out of people nearly 30 years later. And to make Michael Myers a trailer park redneck? You should be fucking ashamed of yourselves.

Jarv would also like to give honourable mention in the shit parade to Hostel 2, Captivity, The Hitcher, AvP:R, Resident Evil 3, anything with Saw in the title, and many, many others- just because I haven't named you don't think I'm not aware of you.

A fucking awful year. I'm struggling to think of a good horror film from 2007.

They are a far superior breed of troll to the dicks kicking around at the moment.

I'm sorely tempted to make another epic BEAR thread out of it.

To think science is wasting time with a cure for cancer when they could be looking at this serious subject.

Ronin has an epic car chase, and the decline of Deniro into some comedy fucknut/ weak horror actor just makes me sad.

It's also got Sean Bean being ambushed by DeNiro with a cup of coffee.

I couldn't believe that SR thread where Mcfly continued to call for me in every post and re-use the twinkie insult I gave him.

Mind you, I haven't seen such a spectacular meta-pwnage in ages as when the site printed that poster he was jeering about.

What a dick.

Plus I think he's above us mere mortals.

Laurel and Hardy.

We're not talking about you, to you or about anything that you might be interested in.

In fact the only thing you seem to be interested in is us. Give it up.

All you do is chase us around like a fucking half-starved mongrel dog. Your one example was you posting a lot of vicious crap about an ACTOR. If he had been a fucking bin-man it would have been the same shit.

Now fuck off until you have something useful to contribute.

Explain why Batman Begins sucks balls? all you have done here is post a trollish statement intending to provoke. Then when you have done that explain why you think Heath Ledger is a bad actor.

Troll

Thanks!

What a day.

Batman Begins was an origin story- although Batman wasn't present his training and roots were. Bruce Wayne was very much there.

I liked the scarecrow, and I thought Ras al Gul was a clever adaptation of the comic.

The microwave thing, whilst shit is not the worst idea I've ever seen, and I have to agree that Katie Holmes is awful. Overall I give it a solid 7 out of 10.

Leaf HEdger (very clever) was an emerging actor, I have seen the films that you mention and they are pretty forgettable movies. However, he had a hell of a lot of potential and did not stink up the screen like Haydn Christianssen. I understand that you have a vision of the Joker, and that's fine but it is OK to enjoy someone else's portrayal. I'm looking forward to it.

See isn't this more fun?

That's good to know because I will have NO compassion for you.

And regarding very astute and salient observations - you know I'm right.

Class dismissed, loser.