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AICN COMICS REVIEWS IRON MAN! COUNTDOWN! THE DAMNED! THE TOURNEY CONTINUES: WINNERS + BRACKET 4 & MORE!!!

FIRST! AND WOLVERINE STILL SUCKS! by Err	Apr 23rd, 2008 07:11:50 AM
HAHA!
Man, I enjoyed the first Damned series... by SpiderHarshaw	Apr 23rd, 2008 07:13:11 AM
I hope my comic shop pulled me one, even though I've been trying to pare down my pull list.
second and he'd kick your ass. by christophermoltosante	Apr 23rd, 2008 07:13:15 AM
yaaay
Why is it the buildup to these "crisis" events is never... by Err	Apr 23rd, 2008 07:16:37 AM
as good as the event itself?
Darkseid's Death by Err	Apr 23rd, 2008 07:24:57 AM
As one who never continually read Superman comics but knew about the characters, the JLU animated series gave me a true appreciation for Darkseid's impact on the DCU. When Superman would rather rush to beating the crap out of him than listen to him ask for help against Brainiac shows just how evil Darkseid is. The lackluster death of Darkseid leaves me saddened. I think I'm going to work for DCU and just kill off the Joker and Lex Luthor in some random issue and that'll be it. This thing makes me think the DC writers are becoming Marvel writers.
Darkseid by Sailor Rip	Apr 23rd, 2008 07:49:56 AM
He won't stay dead long. I bet we even see him in Final Crisis.
Couldn't agree more about the Extremis virus... by Laserhead	Apr 23rd, 2008 07:52:04 AM
I haven't read Iron Man since I was a kid in the early '90s, but when I read about the extremis virus, and saw Stark's power levels in other marvel books, it seemed like a horribly misconceived idea. He's a brilliant alcoholic in a suit of armor, not a machine-god with nanites in his bone marrow. Favreau's on record saying he doesn't like it either, so it'll be staying out of the movies, and I think if the movie's successful, sooner or later the comic's continuity is going to reflect the movie continuity.
Iron Man by Steve Rogers	Apr 23rd, 2008 07:52:23 AM
Blows ass.
Darkseid is the main villain in Final Crisis. by rev_skarekroe	Apr 23rd, 2008 07:52:55 AM
Grant Morrison said so. He told me. OK, OK, he didn't tell me. I read it in Time Magazine. Alright, fine. Wizard Magazine.
Ultimate Iron Man by Steve Rogers	Apr 23rd, 2008 07:53:13 AM
Is worse.
Iron Man with inherent super-powers is a silly idea. by rev_skarekroe	Apr 23rd, 2008 07:56:56 AM
You'd think Warren Ellis would know that. I'm no big fan of Orson Scott Card's Ultimate Iron Man for similar reasons. He's a mutant (yeah, I know they're careful not to use that word, but come on) who's super-smart because he has brain cells throughout his entire body? Lame. Why can't he just be a really smart guy?
deathstroke v punisher & cap v batman??? by doodah	Apr 23rd, 2008 08:00:49 AM
why would they have 2 superhuman soldiers fight 2 humans...cap should have fought deathstroke and punisher should have fought batman. that at least makes sense. no regular dude will beat a superdude in a fist fight.
Darkseid's not dead by ian216a	Apr 23rd, 2008 08:03:37 AM
Otherwise Final Crisis is gonna be a short miniseries. He just looked dead. But having said that - I liked the big orion/darkseid fight. I love Kolin's art anyway, but seeing him go mental with the Kirby stylee was cool. I think that's why I've enjoyed Countdown more than most other people I've spoken to about it. All the references to Kirby's DC work (Fourth World/Kamandi/OMAC etc.) have kept me entertained. Pretty stoked to see how Grant Morrison finishes it all up with FC. Did anyway hear the DC podcast on Final Crisis from the NY Con? It got me quite excitable about it.
Re: doodah by Err	Apr 23rd, 2008 08:06:28 AM
Batman could beat Superman in a fistfight. Luthor could beat Superman in a fist fight using the kryptonite ring or kryptonite gauntlet.
I completely forgot Darkseid died... by rock-me Amodeo	Apr 23rd, 2008 08:09:45 AM
...until you mentioned it in the review. And I actually read the issue. Kinda lets you know what the excitement factor is.
Darkseid is only mostly dead! by rock-me Amodeo	Apr 23rd, 2008 08:12:40 AM
Someone call for Miracle Max! (and then they pushed on Darkseid's chest and he whispered the immortal words, "to blave...")
BustedTees is having a sale! by MisterE	Apr 23rd, 2008 08:21:33 AM
BustedTees is having a 24-hour sale today (April 23). All Tees are on sale for $12 each!
Darkseid is the big bad of Final Crisis by messi	Apr 23rd, 2008 08:21:38 AM
been known for months
DC rips off Marvel? by Err	Apr 23rd, 2008 08:23:57 AM
Darkseid dies and Darkseid's sidekick/son Callaback (sp?) takes up the mantle and gains Omega beam powers?
Sorry I Don't Read Previews by optimous_douche	Apr 23rd, 2008 08:29:29 AM
I hate spoilers so I try to avoid any pre-buzz and just look at the issue it self. Believe me, I am a DC fan to the core. I hope Final Crisis kicks ass on many levels. However, I'm still going to stand by my review. I have no problem with Darkseid dying (or fake dying), I just think it was handled poorly especially after this huge amount of build-up.
It's Kalibak, Err by Ambush Bug	Apr 23rd, 2008 08:30:46 AM
But Callback is funnier.
No excitement because everyone knows he's back by messi	Apr 23rd, 2008 08:33:31 AM
in Final Crisis in some superpowered form.
Kalibak... by Sailor Rip	Apr 23rd, 2008 08:46:03 AM
is like the ugly underachieving son you wished you never had. I'd rather see Orion turn evil then Kalibak in a Darkseid like role.
Ambush Bug by Chilli815	Apr 23rd, 2008 09:04:40 AM
Did you get the e-mail re: Reynard City, sir?
re: err by doodah	Apr 23rd, 2008 09:17:31 AM
that doesnt make any sense. how does batman beat superman in a fist fight? bullets bounce off of supermans chest. batman is a normal regular dude, who got his ass kicked by liam neeson. plus no legitimate referee would let luthor bring a kyrptonite gauntlet into the ring, he would be dq'd.
doodah by Err	Apr 23rd, 2008 09:19:18 AM
No DQ fight? Extreme rules match?
Doodah by Chilli815	Apr 23rd, 2008 09:24:02 AM
Batman has spent years compiling data on Supes, you don't think he hasn't figured out ten ways to take Superman down that we haven't been informed about? And Superman wouldn't harm Batman without a damn good reason, so chances are Batman would sneak a victory.
Batman vs. Superman by rev_skarekroe	Apr 23rd, 2008 09:27:43 AM
Batman: I've devised ten ways to take you down Clark. Ways that you don't even know abo- Superman: Heat vision. Batman: Aaaaarrrrghhhh!!!! The End.
Re: Batman v. Supes by Err	Apr 23rd, 2008 09:32:53 AM
That'd have to be evil Superman b/c Supes wouldn't kill Bats without damn good reason.
"Never having read any of the original... " by freeagent24	Apr 23rd, 2008 09:33:39 AM
Another review from someone who is unfamiliar with the source material. Aren't there some better read reviewers out there somewhere?
rev_skarekroe by Sailor Rip	Apr 23rd, 2008 09:34:10 AM
If I ran DC I'd have you do a one page one shot of that scene. Funny.
re: chilli815 by doodah	Apr 23rd, 2008 09:36:27 AM
batman = stalker
re: err by doodah	Apr 23rd, 2008 09:39:06 AM
ok, i concede...just bc in extreme rules match cheating is allowed and we all know sup dont cheat...
Doodah by Chilli815	Apr 23rd, 2008 09:40:35 AM
Aye, Batman is a stalker. But then again, so is Supes. Do you have any idea how often he uses X-Ray vision?
re: chilli815 by doodah	Apr 23rd, 2008 09:47:02 AM
superman's not a stalker cause he uses xray vision, he's just horny...nothing wrong with that.
Doodah by Chilli815	Apr 23rd, 2008 09:48:20 AM
Course he's a stalker, if he was really that horny he could go and make love to a tree-stump.
Annihilation: Conquest by sean bean	Apr 23rd, 2008 09:53:04 AM
won me over after a slow start. The use of Ultron could have sucked but didn't in the end. Same with Adam Warlock's return. Yay for the ongoing series. The world needs more Rocket Racoon. But the Super Skrull IS A SKRULL!!!
"Never having read..." - Second verse, same as first by rock-me Amodeo	Apr 23rd, 2008 10:00:43 AM
Guy-Who-Complains about reviewers that haven't read every issue of whatever topic, I would like to introduce you to Guy-Who-Complains about reviewers who start a review by citing background material regarding whatever topic. Discuss!
re: chilli815 by doodah	Apr 23rd, 2008 10:12:16 AM
no tree stump will satisfy a man like lois lane...unless ur talking teri hatcher lois lane, which then i would prolly take the tree stump. give me that erica durance lois lane!!!!!
X-ray vision by rev_skarekroe	Apr 23rd, 2008 10:19:34 AM
All those mysterious cases of cancer in the Metropolis metro area... Superman's an asshole.
Oh look... by Sledge Hammer	Apr 23rd, 2008 10:19:48 AM
...A DC character actually won one of these inane and moronically written vs matchups for once. If the whole concept and execution of said idea wasn't so painfully boring and downright idiotic I might even care. It's good to see you guys refuse to let go and keep pushing the idea though, despite the fact that week in week out it gets very little feedback at all, and almost no positive responses whatsoever. Seems even the AICN fanboy contingent refuses to dip that low. And who can blame them. Still, party on, at least it keeps you off the streets I guess... Oh, and recommending the poorly written Iron Man: Legacy of Doom over the regular Iron Man title is just crazy talk. Yeah, I'm no big fan of the extremis armor either, but at least the regular book is solidly written, something that can't be said of the new limited series.
this column, as always, blows. by THE_ONE_MAN_GANG	Apr 23rd, 2008 10:20:16 AM
DUMB. get a life and try reviewing these books for real...
oh and DC sucks. as usual. by THE_ONE_MAN_GANG	Apr 23rd, 2008 10:21:39 AM

KEEP REVIEWING by doodah	Apr 23rd, 2008 10:22:05 AM
i found out about kick-ass through this column!!!!!!!
This column... by Sailor Rip	Apr 23rd, 2008 10:47:10 AM
...isn't so bad. I like the reviews and while I don't care about the character battles it doesn't take long to scroll past them.
And, by Sailor Rip	Apr 23rd, 2008 10:48:14 AM
DC is far superior to Marvel.
Iron Man... by Jeff Albertson	Apr 23rd, 2008 10:49:44 AM
is great and the best that the title has been since the 70's. The extremis virus is an excellent idea that's adding a lot to the ongoing story and the character of Tony Stark. So, you're wrong about that one.
Ambush Bug - about Michelinie/Layton by SpencerTrilby	Apr 23rd, 2008 11:37:05 AM
I truly hope Legacy of Doom is better than their mini series "Bad Blood", which was stiff, convoluted and had really poor art. They were the kings 25 years ago, but they haven't aged well. I hope you're right about LoD#1 though. BTW, a pice of advice for you: don't set your hopes too high with the movie. It blows big time.
"PIECE" of advice by SpencerTrilby	Apr 23rd, 2008 11:38:01 AM
/proofread
Darkseid dind't fake die, he is being reborn by messi	Apr 23rd, 2008 12:48:12 PM
in his Fifth World form. His real form.
Couple of things... by Ambush Bug	Apr 23rd, 2008 01:23:56 PM
Lotta bile being spewed this week. Jeez, folks it's just comics. Chilli - I didn't get your email. Please send it again. IRON MAN: LEGACY OF DOOM, so far, is pretty good. But I agree that last miniseires was pretty awful. This mini just dropped at the right time for me since I haven't been liking the regular series so much. Given the amount of submissions I have received in my inbox, I think the Tourney is quite popular. If it isn't your cup of tea, as mentioned by another TBer, it's easy to scroll past it. The TB's are not always indicative of who is reading and responding. Many readers choose not to post here because occasionally a handful of TBers choose to take out their aggressions in a faceless forum by trolling, saying everything sux, and simply being rude. Which leads me to shenjanno. You've been warned before. It's one thing to disagree with someone, quite another to call people a retard for not having your views. That may fly in other TBs but we try to raise the bar and encourage intelligent debate here. If you continue with the name calling, you're gone. Plain and simple. All opinions are valid here. Learn to debate here with a bit of respect and you can stay as long as you want. Continue and we'll be seeing you. Your choice.
Can anyone explain? by Psynapse	Apr 23rd, 2008 01:37:37 PM
Why Runaways #29 came out in February 20 but #30 isn't due until May 21st? 3 freaking months? WTF......
I Love Whedon & Runaways But.... by optimous_douche	Apr 23rd, 2008 02:06:50 PM
When a title is so sporadic it really does make you lose interest. Any book where I have to go reread the past issues just to remember what's going on is doing something radically wrong. I wonder what the hell else Joss is working on? I wish Vaughan never took the damn job on Lost. Stupid stupid lost.
Runawaya Release Delays by Jinxo	Apr 23rd, 2008 03:07:36 PM

Runaways Release Delays by Jinxo	Apr 23rd, 2008 03:14:09 PM
Like everyone else I hate the long delays in Runaways release schedule but if your a long term Whedon reader, sadly, you shouldn't be surprised. Amazing X-Men is pretty slow in coming. ANd let's not forget Fray. I think there was about a YEAR lag between issues in that series. I have to say, a writer can be really great but if the delays between issues get too crazy long I start losing enthusiasm for them. Some delays I can stand but there does come a point when I have to ask if a writer is really making writing comics an actual priority. Love ya Joss but come on man!
Iron Man's heart... by loodabagel	Apr 23rd, 2008 03:43:00 PM
Wasn't fixed by the Extremis virus. It was replaced with a mechanical one way back in 2001 when Joe Quesada was writing the comic.
Don't fuck with Shenjanno... by loodabagel	Apr 23rd, 2008 03:47:19 PM
The guy's alright. (And presumably on my side when the shit goes down.)
Should'nt it be Iron Fist VS Kato?!? by Stalkeye	Apr 23rd, 2008 04:07:56 PM
And Cap could gift wrap Batty boy's ass with his cape.No fucking contest.Snake Eyes might lose in a mano a mano with DD as Murdock took on a few Ninjas back in the day, if I remember correctly.Where's Hulk vs Superman or Ironman vs Steel.Again, no contest. Good to see David and Bob team up again in Legacy of Doom as their run(Ironman) was one of my all time favorites.
Cosmic Marvel Characters and Stories / Extremis by LaserPants	Apr 23rd, 2008 04:20:11 PM
are the best books Marvel has going right now. The whole Annihilation thing, and especially Nova, which is, in my opinion, Marvel's best book right now. I'm really looking forward to the Guardians of the Galaxy (or whatever its called) series. I have to disagree with you about the extremis virus angle in Iron Man. I think its great! And I think it fits Tony Stark's m.o. pretty well -- that he would seek to enhance his body to its peak in a Cronenberg like fashion. Cause at his heart, Stark is an self-destructive, addictive personality. Even though he's off the sauce, he's looking for a new monkey. Now he's an obsessive, borderline schizo powerholic friendly fascist with body horror issues! How can you not love that?
hmm... by blackthought	Apr 23rd, 2008 04:41:30 PM
i must say i'm hungry...
Well… by The Heathen	Apr 23rd, 2008 05:09:03 PM
Yes, I've lost interest in Runaways because of it's schedule. I loved Vaughan on that book especially with Alphona. Reasons for Whedon taking so long? He's working on a new show for Fox with Elisha Dushku, Amy Acker and others that sounds pretty cool. Plus he's writing about 3 1/2 or 4 1/2 comics currently thanks to his Buffy, Angel and Serenity characters an their plotting he has to go through. It probably wouldn't take him as long if he wasn't doing a show, but I'd rather him do a show personally. He's also doing a few movie things too that sound interesting. Maybe Terry Moore can get Runaways back on schedule? Also, BKV on LOST is great. It's like eating a chicken salad sandwich (hold the retard) while being blown and pooping into a volcano. He's a perfect fit for LOST. His episodes have been great.
Overbooked by Jinxo	Apr 23rd, 2008 05:19:01 PM
Here's the thing for me though. If you know you aren't going to have time to do a job, don't take on the job. You ever have someone call you up to talk to you but then THEY keep putting you on hold for other things. "Hold on, got another call." On hold for 2 minutes. Back for a minute and a half. "Hold on. ANother call again." "Hold on. Have to go away from the phone for a couple minutes." "Hold on, something else going on." And you sit there just going, hey, YOU CALLED ME. If you want to speak to me get ahold of me when you've actually got the time. Don't get me on the line and then jerk me around. That's what this feels like to me. Happy he has a show. Happy he has a ton of stuff going on. Just don't get so many things going that you drop out on one. Whedon isn't the only one whose been guilty of this. He's just the big one right now. Kevin Smith was just as bad but he had the decency to say, you know what, don't have the time, don't want to piss people off, I'm not going to write comics because my priorities are elsewhere.
Completely disagree about Iron Man review by Orion Pax	Apr 23rd, 2008 05:36:33 PM
I've been reading Iron Man for 20 years and I haven't enjoyed the title this much almost since I was a kid. It makes perfect sense to have the Extremis virus. The man is constantly pushing the boundaries of technology and science, you can see around us the merging of technology with our own bodies and surely it was only a matter of time before the Futurist of the 616 would begin to incorporate more technology into his own body, hell he started back in his first damn appearance with his heart for frick's sake! Yes, the initial characterisation was that of an ordinary(ish) man empowering himself through technology, but this is character progression. It doesn't strip away his humanity, it adds more to it, more conflict, more emotion, the ordinary man now coming to terms with new amazing power, isn't that essentially what it was beforehand and what most of Marvel's heroes are about? Also it's not as if they're overdoing it with the Extremis angle, he's not having omnipotent power over all technology at every given chance, they put it in in small doses when it suits the plot and never too fantastical. Yeah I agree that the title could do with more Crash!Pow!Zok! in it, but when it has had it it's been handled well, and I think with the addition of the Matt Fraction Iron Man title running side-by-side with it, IM fans are going to get a great Thomas Harris/Bourne/Bond-esque espionage book as well as agreat superhero book, showing off two great aspects of where the character is right now. For the record, I enjoyed the Michelinie/Layton book as well, but I enjoyed this more.
I agree Jinxo… by The Heathen	Apr 23rd, 2008 05:59:49 PM
I wish Whedon specifically could juggle between the two mediums, but I guess this is what we get when they get busy with higher paying or potentially new and creative jobs. He wasn't as bad when he started writing AXM, but he's more than tardy now. The combo of him and Cassaday alone makes AXM beyond late, but his issues on Buffy seem to have been out pretty fast??? At least he's not Damon Lindelof late right? ; )
BTW, Doesn't FINAL CRISIS Start In Like A Week? by LaserPants	Apr 23rd, 2008 06:03:22 PM
I've only read a handful of issues of the various Countdown books, but I'm psyched for FINAL CRISIS. I'm sort of a DC noob, but recently I've been making up for lost time and finding myself more and more intrigued by DC, especially the epic scope of the Green Lantern / GL Corps books.
Thanks Heathen - On Vaughan Lost by optimous_douche	Apr 23rd, 2008 06:06:32 PM
Appreciate the info... OK, if Whedon is doing a show AND a movie I guess he gets a pass on the delays. But, you and Jinx are right, at what point do you say, I have too much on my plate, I need to pass. I'm sure Vaughan is awesome on Lost, like he was awesome on multiple comics. I'm just not a fan of the show, and I miss his scribing.
Runaways... by loodabagel	Apr 23rd, 2008 06:16:31 PM
Very hard to follow right now. I recently went back and reread Whedon's five issues and they make a lot more sense read as a whole. They also happen to be one of the best Runaways stories yet, in my less than humble opinion. IT is ridiculous that it's taking so damn long, but at least I have the satisfaction of knowing that the ending isn't going to be rushed or forced (I like to assume.) We can all try to take solace in this one probability.
Lost... by loodabagel	Apr 23rd, 2008 06:18:06 PM
And at this point, catching up with Lost requires about an entire week free, so yeah...
LOST, etc. by The Heathen	Apr 23rd, 2008 06:44:00 PM
Yeah, us Cogs used to get bitched at for not talking about LOST in it's "proper" TB, but we preferred our home in these parts much more. I remember one time, it was myself, Darth Kal-El and Farabee talking about theories and what not at around 4 AM and Dave sent us some crazy link that was about LOST and Chewbacca I think! Miss those days. Actually, I was pulling an all nighter and it sucked, but the conversations were great. Buy/Rent the DVD's to catch up. It's best watched that way anyways. The end of the third season and all of the fourth have kicked supreme ass. Highly forced to watch in my opinion. ; ) looda, you're the voice of reason my friend. Maybe I'll re-read all those issues when the arc is over with, but now I'm too busy with life and its annoyances. For the record, as much as I love the voice of Whedon in comics, I'd rather him focus on his shows and movies if the comics are this late. He's one of my favorite writers, but it's getting a little out of control lately.
Buffy Comics by Jinxo	Apr 23rd, 2008 07:48:50 PM
The plus with the Buffy comics that lets them keep coming out on time is Whedon isn't writing them all on his own. He is writing some and he is coordinating the big picture on Season 8 but he also has other writers sharing the load there.
Booster Gold... by Sailor Rip	Apr 23rd, 2008 08:05:00 PM
...for president.
Thanks Ambush Bug by SpencerTrilby	Apr 23rd, 2008 09:23:31 PM
I'm definitely gonna check this Legacy of Doom issue out. Next time it would be sweet if you embedded some bigger pics from the comics. Not only covers, but a page capture as well. I'm intrigued by some of those comics reviewed here but the bookstores where I live don't necessarily allow the future buyer to check the goods. If lowtech Harry can put a YouTube window in his articles, I'm pretty sure you can scan a page or two for good measure. That would be greatly appreciated.
by beatnikslacker	Apr 24th, 2008 12:04:06 AM
Darkseid gets "killed" by having his heart ripped out? Didnt Marvel "kill" Thanos in almost exactly the same way a year or two ago? very original.
Extremis is essentially... by AnakinsDiapers	Apr 24th, 2008 12:57:26 AM
..a deus ex machina. Can it be an interesting plot device? Sure it can. But the entire concept should have a beginning, middle, and ending, like every other extreme character change. Extremis should be a story arc meant to examine a facet of Stark, just as, for example, Steve Rogers ousting as Captain America by the commission of Superhuman affairs all those years ago was basically an examination of what makes Captain America, the man or the costume? The problem with extremis is that it has only been used as a deus ex machina device. It's the "i win" button that Stark can't push for dubious reasons until the end of the story. So far, it's just lazy, and should'nt be permenant anyway.
As far as the tourney goes... by AnakinsDiapers	Apr 24th, 2008 01:11:37 AM
..it reeks of the crapiest bias fanfiction. It's marvel vs DC all over again, with Storm beating Wonder Woman and such nonsense. I mean, i stopped caring to read after the Batgirl fiasco. She's the closest character DC has to Shaw brothers kung fu theater level of Kung Fu. She beat Shiva for goodness sake. WTF is she doing losing like that? Later, i'm scrolling down and my eye catches Mr. Terrific losing to MVP. I chuckled and continued on my merry way.
Breakfast time.... by sugarbear707	Apr 24th, 2008 01:26:03 AM
This is a great series! I came across it by accident early on and have been hooked! From the first couple pages you will be drawn in. Who would think such simple characters could be so interesting? He makes them do things you wouldn't-couldn't imagine. Can't get enough super golden... errrr I mean BOTG. GO CHECK IT OUT NOW!
Yeah, right... by Sledge Hammer	Apr 24th, 2008 01:55:37 AM
...this vs tournament is so popular that now you've even got reviewers slumming to write this crap. Still, it's easy to scroll past, so if you want to waste time and space on such rediculously biased and horribly written fanfic crap then best of luck with it I guess.
Fan Fic - Jeez People by optimous_douche	Apr 24th, 2008 06:26:45 AM
The whole point is to have fun folks, here's one I wrote for the Black Widow fight. It sucks, but I had a great time writing it. Why so serious? Huntress vs. Black Widow “You realize this is just a masturbatory fantasy right?” Huntress yells to the oddly shaped, bug silhouette at the top of the coliseum. “Never mind what I’ll be doing”, reverberated a waif like and deeply disturbed voice off of the cavernous walls of the fighting arena, “You’re job is to battle…to the DEATH, preferably with your backs arched and little pouty lips” “How are we to fight in 8 inch stripper heels, Mr. Bug captor?” asked the Black Widow as she stood in what were indeed stripper heels and an outfit made entirely of fruit roll up. “That is part of the challenge my hot plate of borscht,” said the Bug as he drooled into his microphone. “Good God woman, if you could remain standing after an all night bender, and then bend over with Tony Stark, surely you are up for a fight…to the DEATH…while wearing stiletto heels and a fruit roll up jumper.” He continues, “But if the heels are too uncomfortable…” Black Widow unstraps her heels, while Huntress remains steadfast, her eyes locked upon the small booth, wondering why their captor is stockpiling petroleum jelly next to his dimly lit chamber. The voice from the chamber speaks again, “only one of you will get out of here alive. I will now give you a moment to give one another your last wishes and messages you want conveyed to family. It would be preferable if you delivered this exchange close to one another, say within kissing range.” Huntress and Black Widow walk to the middle of the arena, their eyes locked on one another. The swishing sound of crenolin from the huntress’s French maid outfit is the only sound that can be heard. “I think we can take this guy Widow.” Widow clears her throat, “He was able to capture us in the first place, we are powerless against…The Bug.” “You have worked closely with the bat from Gotham, no?” “Yes, I have,” said Huntress perplexed. “Good, then you have his sentimental respect for life.” As the word life leaves Black Widow’s lips, she plunges the two stiletto heels into the soft spots of the Huntress’s neck.” The Huntress drops to the ground, with geysers of crimson gushing from her neck. Black Widow looks the podium while ripping off a piece of fruit roll up from her left shoulder. “Can I go now?” WINNER BLACK WIDOW
People are taking the tournament thing seriously? by rev_skarekroe	Apr 24th, 2008 07:32:37 AM
It's got freaking Groo in it. It's a lark.
tournament by Laserhead	Apr 24th, 2008 08:54:33 AM
I'd have more fun with it if, God help me, the fights were approached a little more seriously as examinations into who would actually win, based on fighting ability, rather than attempts at pretty lame jokes.
Touche Laserhead by optimous_douche	Apr 24th, 2008 08:57:32 AM
Hence, why mine didn't win :-)
Crossovers Have Made Every Comic a Team Book by DevilCat	Apr 24th, 2008 11:13:57 AM
Seriously. You can't go more than two or three issues of any mainstream title at DC or Marvel before they have to derail the storyline to shoehorn in the latest "war," "crisis" or other big event. As a further result, books like JLA and Avengers are effectively obsolete.
Crossovers Have Made Every Comic a Team Book by DevilCat	Apr 24th, 2008 11:13:59 AM
Seriously. You can't go more than two or three issues of any mainstream title at DC or Marvel before they have to derail the storyline to shoehorn in the latest "war," "crisis" or other big event. As a further result, books like JLA and Avengers are effectively obsolete.
Enid Coleslaw vs Gertrude Yorkes... by loodabagel	Apr 24th, 2008 12:26:24 PM
Winner-ME.
Because I jump in at the last minute... by loodabagel	Apr 24th, 2008 12:26:58 PM
And kick the crap out of both their indy asses.
LaserPants by Thalya	Apr 24th, 2008 01:02:50 PM
Greetings and salutations to the DC party, and, to be corny about it, good for you. GL's in a golden age right now, so your timing's good. Just so long as you're not breaking into the DCU starting with Crisis on Infinite Earths, Kingdom Come, and Morrison's JLA (ahem!), you should be hunky-dory. Er, no, wait...with what Final Crisis is projected to be, this is the one time where they may serve as excellent jumping-on primers. That said, DCU #0 comes out in a week as a prelude to FC and everything else, but Final Crisis itself isn't slated until the end of May. Felicitous reading..
Thayla wins... by loodabagel	Apr 24th, 2008 03:13:32 PM
The DC old guard is beating Marvel not solely, but largely in part, because of the massive delays. I was intrigued by the first issue of Secret Invasion, but not blown away. Since Final Crisis hasn't happened yet, I haven't been able to be not blown away by it. And on the adult market? Damn. Powers, Punisher, Criminal, Kick-Ass and Kabuki (is that still around?) vs. about 50 comics? Marvel's got a lot of catching up to do in that arena, but they seem to be working on it. One thing Marvel has going for it-top artists. I don't think any of my favorite artists work for DC right now.
... by blackthought	Apr 24th, 2008 05:51:54 PM
the most excellent superbad...and 3 hours or so till lost...tick tock. check out van sciver's work in the lastest jla issue...it is kick ass.
@ICN Comics Vs. The Bendii by Buzz Maverik	Apr 24th, 2008 08:21:38 PM
"Sir, we've fortified all the entrances to the mall. One of the Cogs caught some of them sliding under the loading dock. It wasn't pretty..." SMACK! "These things seldom are, son. Now, to important issues. Have you located any liquor?" "The field commanders don't seem to think Molotovs will be very effective--" WHAP! "Moloto vs? Biggest waste of good alcohol a pyro ever invented. We've confiscated this kick-@$$ Margarita machine from Sears. Now, I want you to take a squad of grunts, loot the Tinderbox and bring me back anything remotely Cuban!"
Margarita machine?! by Thalya	Apr 24th, 2008 09:59:50 PM
"But General, think of the tequila! Oh, the Herradura!"
Tequila? by loodabagel	Apr 25th, 2008 03:12:37 PM
Pah! All the trendy guys like uh, uh, Okay, there just better be enough PBR for me and presumably Shigeru.
... by blackthought	Apr 25th, 2008 08:50:19 PM
no comment...well...we got a our own fanboy...but still...
Uh, Looda, The Tequila Was Just For Me... by Buzz Maverik	Apr 25th, 2008 11:27:39 PM
...Other people want drinks? Okay, but uh, we just ran out of Herradura...Yeah, it's all gone!
Batman can kill a dead guy. by I am Batman	Apr 26th, 2008 03:43:21 AM
Especially if he's wearing his military-prototype, sheild-averse rubber-muscle movie costume.
Just out of curiosity, man who is Batman... by loodabagel	Apr 26th, 2008 10:42:27 AM
What iterations of Batman do you enjoy? Because as I recall, you hated everything. And in other news, thanks for leaving the Natty Ice, Buzz! (Takes sip and pukes into someone else's shoes.)
Drinks? by Thalya	Apr 26th, 2008 10:01:01 PM
I thought we were using the margarita machine as a weapon! ... ..ok , that's it. I'm defecting to the dark side. I'm with the Rogues Yaoi Brigade now, so I'll be taking the machine and that flamethrower over there and going monkey-hunting! Mwa ha ha! Here Schleppy...
Uhh... by loodabagel	Apr 27th, 2008 09:57:01 PM
Ya know, last week's episode of The Office was amazing.
Good Luck Against Schleppy, Thalya by Buzz Maverik	Apr 27th, 2008 11:50:18 PM
The @$$holes have been trying to kill the little parasite for years. We even hired a big game hunter (okay, it was me in safari togs with a Safari DGR 550 and a case of dynamite, but my point is still valid) and Schleppy proved unkillable.
The Rogues... by loodabagel	Apr 28th, 2008 08:58:30 PM
Shit, those where the days. Anyway, if the world was overrun by zombies and I had one place that I had to hole out in, I'd choose... Steve Zissou's boat.
The Rogues R OK, But Luther Is Irritating... by Buzz Maverik	Apr 28th, 2008 10:49:58 PM
...the way he clicks those bottles on his fingers and says, "Wa-ree-uhs! Come out to play-ay! Wa-ree-uhs! Come out to play-ay!" I mean, what's that all about?

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