Let's face it, the first film was dumb as hell, but it was cheesy fun regardless, what with Lundgren and his ear necklace and all. I'd love to see the original cut one day, before the studio and MPAA cut, I think it was somewhere between ten and twenty minutes of the more 'objectionable' material out of the film.

I'm all for some more cheesiness served up by those two. And I agree, throw in a little Mario Van Peebles, and it's all good.

US was good for a guilty pleasue, but the alternate ending made up for the stupid scenes in which Van Dummy undresses every second, not to mention those unwarranted ass shots.Buahahahahahaha Are we sure Joel Schumacher didn't direct this Movie?

'I suggest you save one bullet...' In case you have to watch it.

Oh yeah and the correct line was "I kick ass, you kiss ass, and I'm busting heads. And these..... shitheads, these yellow, traitoring motherfuckers, they're everywhere. And I, Sargent Andrew Scott of the US Army. I'm gonna teach them.... all........"

and dolph and brian benben fighting over the explodey-gun was great.

that guy was so.. swedish looking.

explodey-gun? check.

best of chacka khan cd, coke and moleskins? check.

letdown.

The extraction of this biochemical compound is actually quite pedestrian: simply inject your intended target with a crap-ton of heroin, wait for the brain-melting high to kick in, grimace, grunt and insert a very long, very sharp needle directly into their forehead. Once this painful cranial penetration has taken place, one merely has to wait patiently for that sweet polypeptide to trickle into the otherworldy endorphin transport receptacle designed specifically for deep space travel.

What this particular poison-peddling pusher from another planet didn't anticipate was the interference of one tough-as-nails detective named Jack Caine. Armed with a pair of long legs, an endless supply of ammunition and one snotty federal agent,

Caine will stop at nothing to prevent this punk from picking the brains of our podunk population. Along the way, he'll attempt to unravel the mystery behind his partner's death and battle a group of uppity mafia crackers who called themselves White Boys. Can our hero save the world from becoming some otherworldly crack dealer's highly-profitable poppy plantation, or will we all be forced to chase the dragon?

Those who have had the misfortune of reading this blog from its infancy should be painfully aware of the fact that I am a self-proclaimed "hardcore fanatic" of that mythical Hollywood figure known only as THE ACTION HERO. In fact, the sole purpose of this blog was to chronicle my descent into the wonky world of Steven Seagal during my short stay at another cinema-related website. With that extraneous bit of trivia freshly implanted in your soft, impressionable little mind, is it really so shocking, so last-minute birthday party surprising that I am madly in love with Dolph Lundgren and most of his pre-2000 output? Furthermore, should you be light-headed and gaspy at the fact that I chose to watch I Come in Peace over such arty-fartsy fare as The Queen and The Good German?

The answer to those questions, obviously, is a resounding no. Craig R. Baxley's cheap sci-fi extravaganza isn't the smartest flick you'll ever see in your lifetime, nor is it a gripping slice of early 90's cinema. What saves I Come in Peace from sinking into the sticky folds of The Bog of Forgotten Flicks is the originality of its central premise and the go-for-broke performances of its dedicated cast. There's plenty of snazzy explosions and bloody gun fights to soothe your action-hungry soul, of course, but I doubt that's the only thing you'll take away from this truly entertaining chunk of alien cheese.

Dolph, as always, seems to be well aware of the film's B-Grade shenanigans, delivering impossibly campy lines with a subtle hint of cheeky self-awareness. His performance isn't the stuff of legend, mind you, but it gets the job done nonetheless. And as much as I hate to admit it, former HBO darling Brian Benben is probably the film's strongest talent. Sure, he's playing the same annoying wise-ass he portrayed on the cult cable hit Dream On, but he does his shtick so well that you almost forgive the guy for essentially being a one-note instrument. Matthias Hues is also on-board as the story's lone villain, giving him ample opportunity to grunt, grin and groan while flaunting his tasty mullet before the camera.

Everyone else is a coat rack.

Simply put, I Come in Peace is big dumb fun. In fact, I'd gladly put it next to both The Punisher and The Mechanik in terms of quality and enjoyment. The interplanetary drug dealing scenario is quite original, and allows for some truly entertaining moments of high-octane sci-fi madness. Sadly, no one has shoved this cult favorite into the digital era as of this writing, leaving one to ponder the intelligence of the movie industry as a whole. I'm sure someone will chime in about red tape and copyright ownership and blah blah blah -- I honestly don't care. Get your heads together, get on the horn and get this title released on DVD, already!

And while you're at it, shave Betsy Brantley's eyebrows, would ya?

http://tinyurl.com/4p7cp7

God Damn it.

And Dolph has been in loads of good cheese- that one with Brandon Lee, Rocky 4, Dark Angel, that stupid John Woo one where he's scared of the colour white, Some weird ass thing channel 5 had on the other night where he is a restauranteur/ witness protection agent (what a fucking great idea- there should be more fights in kitchens), UniSol, and on. Dolph is great and clearly needs more work.

Fucking dissing Dark Angel *goes away grunmbling*

See- easy

less pretend lesbians.

Oh and Grammanton Cleric Binks, you should most definitely check out Double Team. Make it a double team movie night as well with Simon Sez. Double Team isn't half bad (way better then Knock Off) and Simon Sez is worth it just to see chubby Daniel Cook being possibly the worst comic relief in history.

I can't believe that I COME IN PEACE isn't available on DVD over there, 'cause it is over here. Dumb, but great little fun flick!