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Scarlett has her ponytail, her crossbow and her figure intact and tasty! G.I. JOE!!!!

Yum. by BGDAWES	Apr 16th, 2008 03:25:56 PM
That is all.
Who's the actress again? by tonagan	Apr 16th, 2008 03:27:08 PM
I'm too lazy to look it up.
I thought they were going to be true to the cartoon... by fractureJonze	Apr 16th, 2008 03:27:58 PM
Where's the yellow and gray? They were doing so good with Snake Eyes.
by ominus	Apr 16th, 2008 03:28:05 PM
I AM IN LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am in love !!!!!!! by ominus	Apr 16th, 2008 03:29:29 PM
i am in love !!!!!!!!
Looks more like the Baroness by fractureJonze	Apr 16th, 2008 03:29:46 PM
She's all in black?
Too bad she's not naked... by stinkyfingerz	Apr 16th, 2008 03:31:26 PM
then maybe we would truly care. This IS directed by the same dude who made Van Helsing.
Here we go again by Samus Aran	Apr 16th, 2008 03:31:37 PM
Black is the only color that these genius directors can bring themselves to dress their cartoon to live action characters up as. How brave. I guess the GI Joe lineup is going to look exactly like the X-Men lineup. How are we supposed to tell the difference?
AMAZING!!! by Demode	Apr 16th, 2008 03:32:32 PM
Wow! That looks amazing. This movie is looking fantastic in terms of costumes. I'm starting to wish the next Batman costume could be made by this team. Snake Eyes outfit is beyond amazing.
If Spider-Man's success taught us anything, it's that it is OKAY by CreasyBear	Apr 16th, 2008 03:33:57 PM
to include some colors besides black and it'll still be cool. (Well, y'know, the original costume, of course.) Are all the Joes going to be given the same treatment as the X-Men's black leather uniforms? It dampens their unique personas.
I don't like her face by GodMars	Apr 16th, 2008 03:34:20 PM
Or her outfit. Must we Matrix everything?
Solid Snake...with tits! by BiggusDickus	Apr 16th, 2008 03:34:36 PM
Works for me!
Picture Enlarged? by MediaNerd	Apr 16th, 2008 03:34:39 PM
Uhm...no biggie, but clicking on the picture takes you to a smaller one...
That's awesome. And I know nothing about G.I. Joe. by David Cloverfield	Apr 16th, 2008 03:34:39 PM
That looks like an action figure, while looks somewhat believable. The girl is hot, and yet gives off an interesting vibe. I see no room for improvement.
...AND A MILLION FANBOYS by Babba-Booey	Apr 16th, 2008 03:38:40 PM
RELEASED A FEW BILLION UNITS OF GENETIC MATERIAL ONTO THEIR KEYBOARDS IN UNISON. As for the pic...NOW THAT'S AN ASS!
Is it weird... by JackieJokeman	Apr 16th, 2008 03:39:39 PM
That Im attracted to Rachel Nichols flared nostrils?
That'll do, pig. by BackwardGalaxy	Apr 16th, 2008 03:40:04 PM
That'll do.
oh my by chewyou812	Apr 16th, 2008 03:41:10 PM
yes please
She's hot, but I want a better suit. by iamnicksaicnsn	Apr 16th, 2008 03:41:31 PM
Where be the colors??? She ain't no baroness!
While I'm not in love... by Babba-Booey	Apr 16th, 2008 03:41:55 PM
I'm totally into Scarlett's ass. But, I gotta know...does the carpet match the drapes?
I would wreck her. by Super Rabbi	Apr 16th, 2008 03:42:13 PM

Ugh, black suits...AGAIN. by Shermdawg	Apr 16th, 2008 03:43:06 PM
And if the Joes are wearing black, what pray tell will Cobra's color scheme be?
Hawt. by Yeti	Apr 16th, 2008 03:43:15 PM
Can't wait to see the rest of the gang.
Makes me think... by Babba-Booey	Apr 16th, 2008 03:44:27 PM
I wonder if she's ever had baloney thrown at her ass?
Black is the new yellow and purple by blimblambloo	Apr 16th, 2008 03:45:46 PM
She looks great but I hope everyone's not in black body armor. She does look like the Baroness.
How does "Kung Fu Grip" translate into film? by Darth Macchio	Apr 16th, 2008 03:48:50 PM
Iron Palm: check. Five-fingered fist of death: check. Knife fist: check. One-inch punch: check. Kung Fu Grip: What. The. Fuck? Yeah so I had the little action figures and my brother had the taller action figures (aka dolls but then so were the little gi's) and he had the Kung Fu Grip GI JOE with the jeep. I've traveled all through Asia and India....circled the back alleys of the most underground and elite fight circles...I've actually been to "Kumite" (not correct spelling but I'd be killed in seconds if I divulged the real name and spelling) I've been to the tops of the mount in numerous provinces to glean an audience with the wisest of masters seeking an answer to this mystery and to this day....I have never ever heard of a martial arts technique known as "The Kung Fu Grip". So what the fuck is up with that?
Scarlett is a Sausage Fanatic by Babba-Booey	Apr 16th, 2008 03:49:58 PM
She digs pork. Lots of it. Can't get enough of it. Her hidden talent is that she can sing the national anthem while throating a Hickory Farms Beef Log. oh, and Cobra Commander's breastplate will have nipples on it, and Destro's codpiece is made by Doc Johnson. Barroness doesn't have underwear on because Zartan her dirty panty sniffer.
SPLOOT! by Babba-Booey	Apr 16th, 2008 03:52:04 PM
I'M DONE.
"click on your favorite part..." by Mr. Nice Gaius	Apr 16th, 2008 03:52:20 PM
She's gonna have to face forward for me to do that. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!
Before my balls even dropped, the G.I. Joe cartoon gave me by CreasyBear	Apr 16th, 2008 03:52:22 PM
a case of blue balls, regarding violence anyway. All those guns, missiles, rockets, and no brutal deaths! As an adult, I'd be disturbed to see PG entertainment feature the kind of brutality in the latest Rambo movie, but as a kid, it was a constant frustration to NOT see body parts flying in the G.I. Joe cartoon. And yet another Cobra pilot parachutes safely to the ground. (And for the particular breed of European AICN readers who roll their eyes at us violent Americans and our gun-obsessed culture, did you really get through childhood without playing like you were kicking all kinds of ass? I'm a responsible adult with a real job, but damn if I didn't think ninja assassins and machine guns were cool as shit as a kid, and I still get a kick out of over-the-top action movies. I realize this is the part where someone replies, "Yes, but we do not REMAIN violence-obsessed little boys like you Yanks." Fair enough. (Though what are you doing on AICN if you despise movies that glorify outrageous violence?) Now I'm just rambling.
Nice ass by SpiceWonBruce	Apr 16th, 2008 03:52:36 PM
I'd hit it.
She was on ALIAS..... by travis-dane	Apr 16th, 2008 04:05:29 PM
in the last season.
RE:"Nice ass" by travis-dane	Apr 16th, 2008 04:06:34 PM
I second that.....
You can't be Scarlett if your red hair is a poor dye job by Squashua	Apr 16th, 2008 04:19:31 PM
Just sayin'.
I calls 'em as I see 'em, Pondscum. by Squashua	Apr 16th, 2008 04:23:27 PM
The outfit does give her a nice ass, but a dye job does not a Scarlett hair make.
Black is the new Black by Bass Bastardson	Apr 16th, 2008 04:26:30 PM
I thought Snake Eyes looked great - and his outfit gave me a tiny glimmer of hope for the movie - but if the rest of the Joes are wearing the same thing I guess this is gonna suck after all. God I am bored of black.
oh yeah, it's the pair of tits from P2 by Spandau Belly	Apr 16th, 2008 04:27:52 PM
I hear she studied under the cruel tutalage of Jennifer Love Hewitt and eventually overthrew her mentor in an act of betrayal.
Rachel Nichols by photoboy	Apr 16th, 2008 04:29:31 PM
Is always a good casting move. This film looks more and more like it will be pretty good, unlike those piles of walking scrap metal that Bay shitted out in TINO.
Rachel Nichols looks a lot like Bridget Fonda by ShiftyEyedDog2	Apr 16th, 2008 04:33:17 PM
and oh, yeah - enough with the all black costumes!!! and i'm glad someone else has noticed her constant flared nostrils, though they dont turn me on like they do him.
TRANSFORMERS all over again! by Violator90	Apr 16th, 2008 04:38:05 PM
Here we go again. Another beloved cartoon gets "reimagined." Shit Why is it so hard to even TRY to keep some kind of recognition of the original. Don't get me wrong, she's hot, but most important she's a G.I. JOE. But what is the difference between Scarlett and Electra from the DAREDEVIL movie? You have to seperate the type black look. DAMNIT! And was hope so hard that G.I.JOE would work. I guess Hollywood knows nothing of BAYFORMERS mistakes.
The movie will suck because the lead (Duke) is Channing Tatum by ShiftyEyedDog2	Apr 16th, 2008 04:38:08 PM
aka that guy from "Step Up". Good god, they couldnt find a better (or older) actor??!?? and having Stephen "hack" Sommers direct it doesn't help. I'm sure I'll see it, but expectations could NOT be lower.
G.I. BOW AT THE ALTAR OF THE U.N. by uss cygnus	Apr 16th, 2008 04:40:58 PM
I don't fucking think so.
I CAN'T LET YOU DIE, TRINITY... by uss cygnus	Apr 16th, 2008 04:43:57 PM
The U.N. won't let you until you pass hundreds of meaningless resolutions threatining force, and then refuse to invade, giving Cobra enough time to ship all the WMD's to Syria and make the Evil Americans look like they know what they were doing all along. Ever see "Goodfellas" where Karen flushes the Coke down the toilet when the cops raid the house to avoid being caught? It's like that. Oh, and I love you too damn much.
They need to get sgt slaughter involved by logicalnoise01	Apr 16th, 2008 04:45:43 PM
maybe something as simple has him being a computer voice or something. I mean the dude is still alive they might was well get him.
I think it's funny by Larry Sellers	Apr 16th, 2008 04:46:46 PM
that I only clicked the link because I saw G.I. Joe and figure in the same headline.
She's cute by Abominable Snowcone	Apr 16th, 2008 04:48:33 PM
and I like the little thong-suit she's wearing. But it's nothing like Scarlett. Even if it were, if I'm in Cobra, my first thought would be, "I'm supposed to take THIS chick seriously? Should I surrender? Or ask her to the prom?"
from behind on that one by Judge Briggs	Apr 16th, 2008 04:54:02 PM

Kristana Locken would be better... by andyny29	Apr 16th, 2008 04:58:30 PM
right?
is it me, or does she not look anything like by Datascream	Apr 16th, 2008 05:02:17 PM
Scarlet Johannsen? Then again, I'm also just looking at her ass.
ughh by slkboxrman	Apr 16th, 2008 05:02:45 PM
would u retards get off of TRANSFORMERS dick......there were no "mistakes" ......their only mistake was underestimating the impressive whining of the little boys that wanted a carbon copy of the 80s cartoon....and are apparently gonna whine about this movie if its not exactly what they want it to be.....grow up, find ur cock, pull it....repeat//////and if transformers was such a "mistake" how do u explain 700mil box office ? transformers 2, next june people.....cant wait
Wow. Black rubber. Again. by fractureJonze	Apr 16th, 2008 05:05:44 PM
It's like they showed Snake Eyes first because he was the only one who's costume didn't have to change much to fit the apparently uninspired direction they seem to be taking this. Dyed hair? Really? This looks like a cosplay off of someones myspace. It doesn't look like G.I. Joe at all. Maybe they were referencing the Sigma Six line or something.
More fucking BLACK???... by poeticwarriorII	Apr 16th, 2008 05:10:53 PM
from another shit stain director with little ambition and zero creativity. Fuck this stupid shit, I'm not watching this garbage. Van Helsing was this fucknut's masterpiece.
this film will be awful by sith_rising	Apr 16th, 2008 05:11:45 PM
that it all
DEAR HARRY: by SkidMarkedUndies	Apr 16th, 2008 05:17:31 PM
Just wanted to say, the Iron Man animated gif is best av yet. And there have been many. Way to go, dude. Regards.
BTW: I hope that crossbow . . . by SkidMarkedUndies	Apr 16th, 2008 05:19:10 PM
fires laser bolts, otherwise consider my childhood raped.
Kinda looks like Batgirls suit from B&R by blindambition238	Apr 16th, 2008 05:20:14 PM

SO ARE THEY ALL GOING TO WEAR BLACK by Phategod2	Apr 16th, 2008 05:24:32 PM
I wonder if there going to look like X-men rejects it fits snake eyes but its starting to get redundant. But she still has a great ass.
and the new GIF rocks by Phategod2	Apr 16th, 2008 05:26:55 PM
Althoug you lose a point for no decapitation
Black suits=cop out by alienindisguise	Apr 16th, 2008 05:27:54 PM
Fuck that dumb shit.
homana homana homana by theredtoad	Apr 16th, 2008 05:31:30 PM
pantpantpantdrooooooool
That is by far the BEST thing I've seen so far for this movie by finky089	Apr 16th, 2008 05:40:33 PM
which ain't saying alot, but that pic sure says enough.
Pondscum by finky089	Apr 16th, 2008 05:43:04 PM
nice! I hope the movie is half as amusing as your "script".
Wait... by jimmy rabbitte	Apr 16th, 2008 05:49:06 PM
that's not Scarlett Johannsen!!!!
Pure black by Dingbatty	Apr 16th, 2008 05:52:29 PM
shows up noticeably in night-vision scopes/goggles. That’s why there is no black in the current various iterations of digital camouflage.
TOO YUMMY!!! ...oh, wait... by TheGhostWhoLurks	Apr 16th, 2008 05:53:32 PM
I know she looks good to me... and knowing is half the battle. Yo Joe!
She gives good face... by screamster101	Apr 16th, 2008 05:54:06 PM
I like her. I think I am going to be alone witrh myself for a while now. Please excuse me...
G.I. Joe is going to suck... by Thundercats73	Apr 16th, 2008 05:54:45 PM
She's hot though.
"looks like Jessica Alba" ?? by finky089	Apr 16th, 2008 05:55:05 PM
you mean she's starting to get a potbelly, gotham?
BTW, the new GI Hoe movie will surely by finky089	Apr 16th, 2008 05:55:55 PM
"rape your face and then grind it off on a brick wall"! GONNA RULE!! not really
I'm sure by seagrass	Apr 16th, 2008 05:59:01 PM
We'll see her in more than one uniform...this is probably for some stealth mission she undertakes with Snakes. Looks great! That's two for two...now, if they get Storm Shadow right, I could give fuck all about the rest of the characters (although I'd love to see Sci-Fi in his day-glo green uniform, just for kicks!)
frankly my dear i dont give a damn by Groothewarrior	Apr 16th, 2008 06:04:12 PM

Horray for Kevlar boobs! by br1947	Apr 16th, 2008 06:07:04 PM
She is quite tasty. Just hope the entire cast isn't wearing black unitards. I mean, yea, real commandos don't wear flashy uniforms that would standout, but they generally don't have a mute that carries a katana either! It's a movie based on a cartoon!
Wow. by mrfan	Apr 16th, 2008 06:12:25 PM
Love redheads.
Here's how she should look! by Gil Brooks	Apr 16th, 2008 06:17:41 PM
Saw this on a messageboard: http://tinyurl.com/4o8f94
just so long as.... by nerosday	Apr 16th, 2008 06:19:01 PM
Storm Shadow is in white, Cobra Commander wears a hood, and Destro gets a chrome dome, I'm cool with them playing with the Joes gear a little, just so long as they're not all in black. That'd dig into Snake Eye's bad assness. Its like when the Army made the black barret standard gear, it took away a symbol from the Rangers who'd earned it as their badge of bad assiocity.
if the Crimson Twins aren't in this movie, none of this matters by vaudeville villain	Apr 16th, 2008 06:22:32 PM
when evil goes fraternal, you know there's gonna be some serious ass kicking! long live Tomax and Xamot!!
logically... by nerosday	Apr 16th, 2008 06:23:56 PM
the army should have used a green barret, but no one had the stones to walk into Ft. Bragg and tell them that everyone gets a party hat. the messenger never would've come out of the woods of North Carolina alive.
Boooooooo. by Horseflesh	Apr 16th, 2008 06:28:38 PM
Not Scarlet. Boooooooo!
Yeah yeah praise now by Rufferto	Apr 16th, 2008 06:29:55 PM
But from the script I can tell the others will look horrible. Especially Destro and Rex or whatever they are calling Cobra Commander in this shit. And yeah this could of used some color. A little yellow and red would of went a long way. I heard Brendan Fraiser and the Rock have been randomly given rolls as Joes in that makes Marlon Wayans casting seem like sheer genius. God I want to believe this isn't a complete missed opportunity.
But I can't and I won't. by Rufferto	Apr 16th, 2008 06:32:11 PM
You can't fight fate when a bad script and a Wayans brother are involved.
Scarlett was hot but... by Pariah74	Apr 16th, 2008 06:33:35 PM
COver Girl had the wide open shirt and the big ahem...guns. I think I rather see Keeley Hazell, Lucy Pinder or someone similar as Cover Girl.
Awwwwww, fuck naw! by Stalkeye	Apr 16th, 2008 06:38:34 PM
Scarlett wore the usual yellow and grey leotard, what's with this black clad shit? She looks like Jean Grey in some X-Men reboot.(to make up for Ratner's garbage.) Pondscum good rendition BTW.
I am totally fine with this movie now by kafka07	Apr 16th, 2008 06:39:20 PM
even if it sucks
Great Avatar, Knowles. by Stalkeye	Apr 16th, 2008 06:40:39 PM
I'm a sucker for self effacing humor.
And NOW WE KNOW! by Dreadlock Holmes	Apr 16th, 2008 06:52:31 PM
AND KNOWING IS...ahh you guys get it.
I was ok with it UNTIL I saw Gil Brooks post by Big Dumb Ape	Apr 16th, 2008 06:56:36 PM
Overall, it looks fine -- then again for a multi, multi, multi-million dollar Hollywood production, you would expect "cool" production standards on things like the costumes and such. Hell, the multi-millions have to be going to something! So initially I didn't mind that it was all black since the costume does look nice... ...But then I checked out Gil Brooks' post and the fan picture where someone threw some dashes of color on the costume, and now I have to say "You know, some color really WOULD have helped it out. And it would have looked even MORE color for this type of movie." I mean, come on, it's G.I. JOE and movie based on a freakin' toy line! What, are you seriously gonna try and tell me that adding color to the costumes would break the dramatic fourth wall and ruin the "reality" of this thing? Gimme a break!
Has anyone noticed... by Sithtastic	Apr 16th, 2008 07:01:56 PM
...that hollywood costumers seem to think that black is the only tone that allows otherwise cartoon characters to be taken seriously? Would it be too much to ask to put G.I. Joe in a set of ACUs and take them back to basic training? You do a standard back story as the first film to set up the franchise and go from there. It's not hard. Don't get me started as to the poltically correct machinations of the script. It's sure to be another eye-rollingly awful version of "we have met the enemy and he is us" self righteous agrandizement against the so-called military industrial complex. Ugh.
Alias Sydney 2.0 sure looks good, but... by TVguy4566	Apr 16th, 2008 07:04:04 PM
let's hope she does better for movies than she does for TV. Rachel Nichols has been the kiss of death for telivision. She joins Alias and it is cancelled. Here Insider show lasted half a season and she also appeared in "Line of Fire" which lasted just as long.
Willem Dafoe as Zartan by therealharold	Apr 16th, 2008 07:05:22 PM

Why Are They Both Back Catchers? by georges garvaren	Apr 16th, 2008 07:07:34 PM
Who's going to pitch!? I just hope they keep the RED/BLUE bullet tracers. Or where those lasers? I don't really know, now. Oh, bother.
Tomax and Xamot would hit it....... by Loosejerk	Apr 16th, 2008 07:11:18 PM
with a double ended dildo...then fuck each other.
"crimson twins"?? WTF?? by Puddleglum	Apr 16th, 2008 07:15:31 PM
vaudeville villain, I hope you're talking about Scarlett's ta-tas instead of asking for a double helping of sausage.
The X-Men in the movies... by Dreadlock Holmes	Apr 16th, 2008 07:22:13 PM
...had black costumes and there wasn't that big a deal. Would you prefer yellow spandex?
Dreadlock Holmes, Spider-Man and the FF and Superman... by Big Dumb Ape	Apr 16th, 2008 07:30:47 PM
...Had COLOR on their costumes and there wasn't that big a deal. Would you prefer all-black leather?
COBRA LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA!! ! by LaserPants	Apr 16th, 2008 07:41:54 PM
Serpentor = Jumped the shark
ZARTAN AND THE DREADKNOCKS Should Run A Meth-Lab by LaserPants	Apr 16th, 2008 07:44:05 PM
A swamp meth-lab for Cobra!
Big Dumb Ape... by Dreadlock Holmes	Apr 16th, 2008 07:45:57 PM
Fair enough.
yes she's hot...but.... by LHombreSiniestro	Apr 16th, 2008 07:49:59 PM
would it kill ANYBODY to NOT go FULL black?! Geez!
Yeah by Herb West	Apr 16th, 2008 07:57:46 PM
both colored photos above were way better. They both brought out the curve of her ass better, too.
a caucasian's derriere by the podosphere	Apr 16th, 2008 07:59:21 PM
bummer.
Once again, a costume is turned black by Drath	Apr 16th, 2008 08:01:31 PM
Okay, she did have a corny yellow leotard before, I can see wanting to change that. But Lady J better still wear green. And if they turn around and NOT put the Baroness in black then I'm gonna shit blood!
Lady J by Herb West	Apr 16th, 2008 08:02:48 PM
I forgot about her. Is she going to be in this?
I'm lovin it by Varakor	Apr 16th, 2008 08:06:52 PM
she looks spankalicious! I'm gonna try this pic out right now. be back in two minutes.
Apparently... by Herb West	Apr 16th, 2008 08:14:39 PM
this chick hasn't posed naked very much. Here's a gallery though http://qurl.com/yyc8y
Black is ok by Dazzler69	Apr 16th, 2008 08:16:01 PM
If they are doing covert ops. The toon had no choice to use same outfit over and over again. She did change clothes in the comics also. This is not a big deal. I am glad they gave Wolverine a black outfit instead of the yellow which was my least fav outfit anyway. The brown suit was always the best.
I'd sleep with her if I had too.... by classyfredblassy	Apr 16th, 2008 08:25:26 PM
And she would like it too I bet. Blassy, Out.
Whats happening in my pants? by bat fastard	Apr 16th, 2008 08:33:25 PM
My jeans are getting tight. I think this scarlet has something to do with it. AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE.
Speaking of naked G.I. Joe girls... by Herb West	Apr 16th, 2008 08:39:03 PM
here's the Baroness chick waaaaay more naked http://tinyurl.com/5g632w
These 80's cartoon movies are coming TOO Soon by Phategod2	Apr 16th, 2008 08:39:30 PM
Most of the affordable Directors are in there 40's anyone who remember these 80's toons are in there early to mid 30's. we need a director and writers who actually knows the source material instead of these hacks, and that won't come for another 5 to 10 years.
podosphere, you couldn't get ass that fine... by tylerzero	Apr 16th, 2008 08:40:16 PM
...even if rubberbanded your dick with $100 bills.
And here's another pic.... by Herb West	Apr 16th, 2008 08:46:31 PM
of Baroness chick from behind. http://tinyurl.com/6my3kc -Now we can compare G.I. Joe girls' asses. I vote for Scarlett girl.
BLACK IS THE NEW COLOR FOR EVERY DAMN HERO COSTUME by BIG BOSS	Apr 16th, 2008 08:58:48 PM
And here I was with my little hopes all up after looking at Snake Eyes. But now, I see it's gonna a bunch of power rangers running around with guns. Boo.
To the guy who thinks Box Office $$ = Quality: by ShiftyEyedDog2	Apr 16th, 2008 09:00:11 PM
Someone said that the 700M Transformers made worldwide was evidence that it must have been a good movie. News for ya: popularity has nothing to do with quality. If that were the case, I could name 100 low-grossing movies that should have been blockbusters. Oh yeah, and lots of people followed Hitler too. That doesn't mean he was right, does it?
Anyway... by Herb West	Apr 16th, 2008 09:15:03 PM
Does anyone know if Lady J is going to be in this movie or did everyone run over to the X-Files alternate title spam marathon?
GI JOE: Fighting for ladies' freedom to wear skintight clothes by MrMysteryGuest	Apr 16th, 2008 09:20:25 PM

Pondscum by HyphenatedWords	Apr 16th, 2008 09:33:21 PM
Funny, funny script. I love it.
God forbid it's khaki or olive or camo... by BizarroJerry	Apr 16th, 2008 09:40:31 PM
That would resemble actual soldiers, who no one apparently wants to see on film. Unless they're lamenting how terrible war is. But, otherwise, I don't consider these guys having outfits like superheroes. It doesn't really matter much if they match their old designs, they're soldiers. They can change their uniform. And, is G.I. Joe really any more homoerotic than a bunch of superheroes? Certainly not if Joel Shumacher is directing.
Pondscum's script by Herb West	Apr 16th, 2008 09:41:19 PM
Yeah. That was pretty funny. I wonder how many people even remember Blowtorch to get the joke.
Yo Joe!!! by Raymar	Apr 16th, 2008 09:47:19 PM
This movie may well suck but I am sooo there now. We need more Rachel Nichols in the world.
From '83 to '90 by HyphenatedWords	Apr 16th, 2008 09:50:56 PM
I remember getting my first G.I. Joes for Christmas in '83 or '84. They were the final nail in the Star Wars figure collecting coffin for me. Just as Lucas was bombarding me with Ewoks, here came a group of people who were very real and down to earth... except for the hot chick in purple and the mysterious man in black. They could bend their arms and knees and had a strange rubber band inside, but they were leagues above the stiff-limbed Star Wars gang. Does anyone remember that feeling? That they pulled it off was a miracle... army guys? How original is that? They're all in green, some with the same head? But they were "authentic." Larry Hama wrote amazing file cards that I still enjoy reading 20 years later. The cards didn't talk down to kids. The weapons were styled after real guns, mortars, tanks, and accessories. I loved that period of G.I. Joe. The toy line did well, they introduced the swivel arm, and they had to expand it. Larry Hama continued to deliver an amazing narrative in the Marvel comic. Slightly more colorful characters appeared, but they seemed to make sense because of their background or speciality. The line when they introduced Mutt and Shipwreck, you know, when the Killer Whale (arguably the second best toy ever, second to the Death Star Space Station playset) came out and fulfilled every wet dream I had that season. It jumped the shark somewhere in there. I still collected, but I really didn't know what to do with the neon green laser guy. The Cobras when from having an acceptable blue uniform to outright outrageousness. Serpentor came. Cobra-La came. Then, they just said fuck it and started the repainted, renamed rereleases. I lost faith. So, do I have a point? I scrolled down slowly on this page for the reveal. I loved the hair and face and crossbow. I wish I'd stopped there. She's beautiful, yes, but shit dudes... It's fucking Hollywood. I just don't react to the next hottest chick in line like I used to. I may sound old, but dammit, can she act? What will she bring to the character? The black costume disappointed the hell out of me. I'd like to think, like others have suggested, that this is just one suit she wears in the movie. I am SICK of the black body armor. It's wholly uninteresting and has been since Batman Returns. We oohed and ahhed at Burton's first Batman, but it's been downhill ever since. So, I agree. Throw some of her trademark colors in there? NO! Put her in the fucking outfit! If you stick with the core Joes, then they can be in modified military outfits like the original figures. Why did she stand out back then? Why did they choose to put her in the funky yellow and purple when all the men wore green? There was never an answer, and we didn't care. Now I sound like a hater. I am really looking forward to this movie.
Fucking Cool News on Ain't It Cool News by Stereotypical Evil Archer	Apr 16th, 2008 09:55:27 PM
That pic of Scarlett is what this site and it's clones are all about.
TallBoy66: were there sequels already? by ShiftyEyedDog2	Apr 16th, 2008 10:06:39 PM
Cuz all I saw her in was P2. I must have missed P3 and P4.
Yet another tedious, tough-as-nails snatch... by BurnHollywood	Apr 16th, 2008 10:15:26 PM
My money's safe on that one...it's the only other female archetype Hollywood screenwriters are capable of writing for, other than the buzzkill girlfriend who wants the protagonist to settle down (but isn't entirely a humorless cunt, because there's always a scene of her playing with children). Should've cast Kristen Wiig or Amy Sedaris...if "Iron Man" can cast a habitual drug abuser as Tony Stark, I see no reason why Scarlett can't be a neurotic shut-in or a bisexual nymphomaniac.
Dreadlock Holmes... by poeticwarriorII	Apr 16th, 2008 10:16:23 PM
This incredibly idiotic ass hat pops in and talks about yellow spandex right on cue. This is the same kind of cunt that does the costumes for this movie. If you're too stupid all you can think of is yellow spandex then shut the fuck up. There's a lot more out there you could use other than yellow spandex you fucking twat.
Old commerials on YouTube by HyphenatedWords	Apr 16th, 2008 10:42:36 PM
This is an "overview" of the toyline from 1982.
Okay, so html links don't work in here... by HyphenatedWords	Apr 16th, 2008 10:44:21 PM
http://tiny.cc/DoBK2 http://tinyurl.com/5mhuz4 Etc. Click around from there, and you'll be in nostalgic heaven.
by redkamel	Apr 16th, 2008 10:46:27 PM
the costume sucks as Joe costume, its nothing like the actual Joe Costume. I hope shipwreck isnt wearing the same shit.
I hate to say it.... by Frankenbastard	Apr 16th, 2008 11:03:05 PM
but i told you that you guys would hate it. But hey, i'm just some dude that isn't in any way connected to the film biz.
Brighter... by ironmanjakarta	Apr 16th, 2008 11:03:05 PM
http://tinyurl.com/4jgf55
Funny, I just started watching Alias season 5 by tbransonlives	Apr 16th, 2008 11:15:20 PM
I haven't really kept up with the Joe movie, so I checked out the imdb page. Cool: Mr. Eko, Dr. Who, Darth Maul and the random eye candy. Not cool: Guy from February 08 urban dance movie, a Wayans and directed by The Mummy guy. Good thing I was never really into GI Joe.
You know what by Dawhiteguy	Apr 16th, 2008 11:20:07 PM
I bet zak penn wrote the first draft of the script.
the movie is based on the comic book, not the cartoon. by hellnback	Apr 16th, 2008 11:35:03 PM
anyone else notice that the cartoon went way off when it came to larry hama's background on the characters? you would read the shit larry wrote on the back of the toys and you would wonder why none of that was in the cartoons. that's cuz it was all in the comics. hell scarlett and snake eyes were an item in the comics and even got married. larry hama is writing for the movie in some part and they're going with it. so don't expect going into the theaters thinking your seeing something based off of the cartoon, cuz it's not. read the old marvel comics instead. they were better.
Where did you read Hama was writing? by Rufferto	Apr 16th, 2008 11:42:29 PM
Where?
Because what I've read by Rufferto	Apr 16th, 2008 11:46:52 PM
the confirmed script reads that Cobra Commander and the Baroness are related, CC's is a twenty something kid who is brainwashed and drugged to be a Serpentor like super solider and was once army buddies with Duke. I would like nothing more then that to be false.
And Destro by Rufferto	Apr 16th, 2008 11:48:35 PM
doesn't wear a mask until the very end cause his face gets scarred. And O yeah the Baroness is in love with Duke.
tyler - a strip joint reference by the podosphere	Apr 16th, 2008 11:50:24 PM
for your rejoinder??? well i guess if that's the only place you've place you've ever seen a bare breast....
AWESOME!!! by Motoko Kusanagi	Apr 17th, 2008 12:35:16 AM
You know, like, Michael Bay awesome...
MARLON WAYANS AS RIPCORD?! by webslinger48	Apr 17th, 2008 12:57:15 AM
And it gets worse. And they put the friggin' secret tattoo on the shoulder of Snake Eyes UNIFORM?! And of course there's a law in hollywood that every white martial arts character HAS to be Ray Park (see: Danny Rand aka Iron Fist). Fucking 'tards behind this movie wouldn't know Copperhead from Wild Weasel. Next thing you know they'll get Pink to play Zartan's sister Zarana. Sommers, in case you're reading this that was a JOKE! Yeah, I know that Hama is involved but Gerber was "involved" with Howard the Duck and look how THAT turned out. Hasbro will put there two cents in, too...last time that happened, they created something called Cobra-La which essentially destroyed G.I. Joe for 20 years. YEAH THIS MOVIE WILL ROCK!!
black leather suxxxxxx by chien_sale	Apr 17th, 2008 01:29:03 AM
jesus I thought that obsession was over
Yo Joe! by Psycho_Kenshin	Apr 17th, 2008 02:10:23 AM
Scarlett looks hot/awesome.
More propoganda militaryporn: by wowsah156	Apr 17th, 2008 02:31:59 AM
Yup Hollyweird hasnt learnt anything from the eighties. Stil promoting gun use has a "fun recreational pastime". Someone needs to make a kids tv show based upon Wim Wenders movie End of Violence.
Militaryporn, Wowsah156? by Big Dumb Ape	Apr 17th, 2008 03:00:36 AM
Well, I guess we won't be seeing you on opening night. Good for the rest of us though -- it means one less person on the popcorn line! However, in terms of this being "militaryporn", gimme a break. It's a freakin' live action GI JOE movie. Ideally and done right, given the characters and all, it's about as big and dumb and doofy and geeky and all-out fun as you can get. But Militaryporn? In the immortal words of Sergeant Hulka: Lighten up, Francis.
Bring on the bad by a rolling stone	Apr 17th, 2008 03:30:49 AM
I'm waiting to see Zartan and Destro. If done right, they could be SO PIMPIN.
Black rubber is half the battle by a rolling stone	Apr 17th, 2008 03:37:23 AM
And yeah, what's up with the rubber black suit? Is it so hard to add some color? Do they think we'll only except fictional characters brought to real life if they're wearing black? Batman, ok. I can live with that. And X-Men? Uh, yeah. Sure. Ok. Now GI JOE? Put'em in some fucking khaki camo, or white arctic gear, or some fucking thing. If Storm Shadow shows up in black, I'll lose all faith in this thing.
Hate It by DOGSOUP	Apr 17th, 2008 04:45:53 AM
Fuck this. Big fucking deal. Snake Eyes blew me away this is fucking Sci Fi Channel Movie of the Week quality.
Hot? She's Stone Cold AVERAGE by LaserPants	Apr 17th, 2008 05:05:27 AM
She's aiight. I'd fuck her, but I wouldn't call back.
Black uniforms by Deagle2	Apr 17th, 2008 05:35:24 AM
Scarlett is hot and has the right look, but count me as another person who absolutely hates this obsession with black uniforms. Add some fucking color already!
She needs some beige and red... by Ghostball	Apr 17th, 2008 05:40:46 AM
...on the armour, gloves and boots. It was those colors offset against the black that made comic-book Scarlett look tough but feminine and approachable, and not crazy or cosplay. And also, they need to dirty and wear it all down - LOTR/Aliens/Star Wars OT style.
Oh yeah - by Ghostball	Apr 17th, 2008 06:29:14 AM
I don't want anybody here to commenting on actresses looks anymore - everybody knows ALL talbackers - including me - look like the back end of a bucktoothed bus dragged through a hedge backwards while chewing wasp, so what the fuck?
RighteousBrother by Ghostball	Apr 17th, 2008 06:54:39 AM
Totally agree. But I figure anybody who comes on here TROLLING any woman for their looks needs to invest a mirror. Stat.
Hooray! Power Rangers Costumes! by Rickey Henderson	Apr 17th, 2008 07:03:51 AM
Yep, cause black rubber is totally the way to go... bleh.
sexy... but I want to see the hot ass BARONESS by turketron	Apr 17th, 2008 07:06:18 AM
Holy shit... those curves. Baroness was the shit, hope they do her justice. That ass and them titties were amazing (for a cartoon of that time).
Poetic Warrior 2 by Dreadlock Holmes	Apr 17th, 2008 07:08:24 AM
Please drown yourself. It's called an opinion.
Awful by Thunderbolt Ross	Apr 17th, 2008 07:12:25 AM
Though that's not surprise.
I like how by Abominable Snowcone	Apr 17th, 2008 07:40:34 AM
She's so cute in that tight black outfit, and she's brandishing a giant PHALLIC GUN. As if to say, "I could be holding your weiner in my hands like this..."
It's not remotely 'awful', Thunderbot by Ghostball	Apr 17th, 2008 07:44:08 AM
That's a ridiculous statement. What are you basing opinion that on? GI Joe isn't Atonement
A giant phallic gun... by Ghostball	Apr 17th, 2008 07:45:53 AM
with a wacking great crossbow bar sticking out of either side of the muzzle, you mean?
Hmm, that settles it... by Anna Valerious	Apr 17th, 2008 08:04:45 AM
I'm doing the Sigma Six version for Comic Con next year. Hell, I love the Sommersverse, but where's the (As Murderface would put it) zazz?
Is the zazz Zartan? by Ghostball	Apr 17th, 2008 08:08:10 AM

Okay children are you done, got it out of your by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Apr 17th, 2008 08:08:14 AM
system. Okay, now that we have all ogled her to death let's talk about the character. First off, pistol crossbow is cool, and loyal to the comic. It was always interesting that the action figure and the illustration for the figure had a bob for a do, but the comics/show always had long hair. Also I see everyone talking about the grey leotard. Unless I'm color blind it was always purple,which struck me as odd in a combat unit. But then again it was a comic,then cartoon. Sure it was a very dull light purple, duller than a pastel, but there is no way it was grey. If that was the intent of the illustrators in the comics,then they were way off. The question remains, and I don't recall if it was answered in other talkbacks or not as to whether Snake Eyes will be the love interest, as he should be, as it was in the comics, or if they'll stick her with Duke like they did in the cartoon. Hama's on board as a consultant, so I hope he won't let that happen, but his control at this point seems limitted.
Gram: The suit was originally Grey. by Stalkeye	Apr 17th, 2008 08:52:43 AM
Atleast when I had collected the figures.Scarlett's(1st ver.) colors consisted of a pale yellow leotard w/grey tights.I guess that color scheme was fashionable at that time (Circa 1982) The last figure was donned in some greenish getup which should have been used in the movie. what goes better with a hot Irish chick than Green? XD
@ Jack Colby by Dingbatty	Apr 17th, 2008 09:04:21 AM
They'll say Baroness got Lasik
Stalkeye, I remember when the suit went green by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Apr 17th, 2008 09:18:06 AM
It was a nice change. I still say the suite was a light purplish/grey. Not exactly grey, but not purple either. Guess I'm getting a little nitpicky
Russel Crowe as Zartan by Stalkeye	Apr 17th, 2008 09:19:31 AM
Or even Jason Stratham,at least he knows his shit when it comes to martial arts. Who the fuck is this Arnold Vosloooo guy anyway?
this how uncle sam look this days? I WANT YOU JOIN THE ARMY by ludmir88	Apr 17th, 2008 09:26:39 AM
thanks hollywood.
Shit i had everything except that Aircraft carrier. by Stalkeye	Apr 17th, 2008 09:32:46 AM
Shit was way too big and not as cool as the Terrordome,Mobile headquarters,The General and that damned Space shuttle. That's where most of money went to from my first job and it paid off as i sold most of the shit on Ebay.
Raunchy by RogueWarrior65	Apr 17th, 2008 10:07:50 AM
http://sublimespot.com/sublime /lyrics/?ID=139
Look! It's Black Widow from Marvel! by Exasperilious	Apr 17th, 2008 10:15:39 AM
Anyone else think she looks like the Black Widow from the Marvel Universe? Especially with the black outfit and gun?
Will they actually die in this? by Darth Macchio	Apr 17th, 2008 11:33:37 AM
Someone mentioned it towards the top of the TB but I have to reiterate the question. I've seen people saying the movie is based on the comic book and not the cartoon...did they die in the comic book or somehow manage to parachute to safety or crawl out of the exploding vehicle? Not to wax philosophic here but how the fuck do you win a battle much less a war if you never ever kill the fucking enemy? No matter what...the cartoon went out of its way to show you the pilot/driver/whatever just makes it to safety. So basically, in the cartoon, winning the war was about blowing up the enemy's gear before they blow up your gear. The figures were kewl..the vehicles kewler but the cartoon blew...especially the CHiPs-like freeze-frame shared laughter moment at the end of each episode? I mean seriously...why in the name of firey-monkey-balls-with-spikes is this movie even happening?
GodMars by PlasmaOrb	Apr 17th, 2008 11:43:40 AM
She doesnt like your face either.. said it reminds her if George Bush stuck a M80 up his ass and took a pic of it for his facebook profile.
Stalkeye, geek lesson 101, chapter 10 by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Apr 17th, 2008 11:47:06 AM
Vosloo played the mummy in The Mummy. He also played Darkman in all the sequels, taking over the original from Liam Neeson. I can see him as Zartan, he puts a lot of facial expression and emotion in his roles Ithink.
The best GI Joe toy was the MOBAT by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Apr 17th, 2008 11:47:59 AM
because the tank was badass,plus it actually moved on its own power.
"Black Widow" - good call by finky089	Apr 17th, 2008 01:35:51 PM
I knew the appearance seemed familiar!
Laserpants - "stone cold average"? by finky089	Apr 17th, 2008 01:36:57 PM
I'm moving to your neck of the woods, buddy!
Ah, the USS Flagg toy. 7 feet of Hannukah dreams by finky089	Apr 17th, 2008 01:38:01 PM
that sounded a bit perverse, didn't?
This woman by Abominable Snowcone	Apr 17th, 2008 01:47:46 PM
is going to usher a whole new generation of 12 year old boys into manhood...and lots of tube socks will be gummed up in the process. God love her.
Ghostball by Abominable Snowcone	Apr 17th, 2008 01:50:16 PM
Right you are, crossbow. Didn't catch it in the freakin' shadows. And I'd forgetten that was her weapon of choice. I encourage everyone to save this image and open it in an editing program so you can rotate it 90 degrees left, so you can see what she would look like on all fours.
Darth Macchio by Abominable Snowcone	Apr 17th, 2008 01:54:49 PM
If it's based on the cartoon, no one will die. They'll just zap each other with red and blue lasers from behind rocks going, "Bee-yew! Bee-yew! Bee-yew!" But hey, based on that photo, I'd love an adult version of Joe. Replete with shower scenes featuring Scarlett and Cover Girl "comforting" each other
Abom... by Braffed	Apr 17th, 2008 02:05:06 PM
this thread has a pic of a hot woman in a skin-tight outfit.What the hell are you doing here? Is the "Brad Pitt Shirtless" thread all booked up?
I know Abom sniffs pickles... by Braffed	Apr 17th, 2008 02:08:16 PM
and knowing is half the battle!
Abom likes to feel... by Braffed	Apr 17th, 2008 02:09:48 PM
Destro's cold steel in his chocolate dungeon.
He'll fight for gay-rights as long as there's trouble.. by Braffed	Apr 17th, 2008 02:11:22 PM
ABOM IS THERE!!!!!!!!!!
Abom has sticky dreams... by Braffed	Apr 17th, 2008 02:12:45 PM
of Roadblock
and Gung-ho... by Braffed	Apr 17th, 2008 02:13:01 PM

and that pirate guy.... by Braffed	Apr 17th, 2008 02:13:16 PM

and that pirate guy's bird by Braffed	Apr 17th, 2008 02:13:38 PM

One time Abom farted out... by Braffed	Apr 17th, 2008 02:17:33 PM
a hooded cobra commander
Abom dresses like the Baroness by Braffed	Apr 17th, 2008 02:23:52 PM

She looks good but... by Wcwlkr	Apr 17th, 2008 02:52:09 PM
Chick looks good but I lost all desire to see this piece of crap when dude from Step Up was cast as Duke, and that actually included crack head looking Marlon Wayans. This movie I hate to say is going to suck worse than Transformers.
This looks fine, people. by Puddleglum	Apr 17th, 2008 03:18:36 PM
mighty fine
Mmmmm by Surround Sound	Apr 17th, 2008 03:26:19 PM
I'll bet her crotch gets awfully sweaty in that outfit...
Sk229 FYI by Stalkeye	Apr 17th, 2008 03:44:38 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =LO2tBsGrUks
Thanks for the info Gram by Stalkeye	Apr 17th, 2008 03:50:16 PM
Now I know and knowing is.... Anyway now i remember who this Vosloo guy is. I don't recall seeing the entire movie (The Mummy) but I did seen that wretched Darkman sequel..how the fuck did they explain Durant surviving that helicopter explosion?!? I think Zarty would better suit an English/Aussie actor like Stratham or Crowe respectivley..but not Hugh Jackman.
Ving Raines should have been casted as Roadblock by Stalkeye	Apr 17th, 2008 03:54:25 PM
oh wellz, at least we got Adelbesi,hopefully he won't ass rape Major Bluud once he takes him down.And I hope that Fraser and The Rock rumor(as Gung Ho and Shipwreck) is just that...a rumor!
At least there's no Shia in this movie! by finky089	Apr 17th, 2008 04:14:05 PM
Ahahahahahshit.
Snake Eyes is the villain? by Pops Freshemeyer	Apr 17th, 2008 04:49:43 PM
It must be true because I read it on the front page of Yahoo. Awesome, maybe Fred VII can impersonate the leader of GI Joe, and Sgt. Slaughter killed Hard Master?
GIJoe: The Uwe Boll/Adam Sandler Edition by Stalkeye	Apr 17th, 2008 05:06:29 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =gfSa3U-m3H0&feature=related
No, actually this is the Uwe Boll edition by Stalkeye	Apr 17th, 2008 05:14:11 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =bSOC1Nv77yM&feature=related
I bbarely remember the USS FLAGG by Phategod2	Apr 17th, 2008 05:16:32 PM
but I wanted the Defiant like nobodies business I still remember how pissed I was I never got that thing I did have GI joe Stealth figher The Phantom I think it was called.
I Still can't believe this movie is being made... by Zeegloo	Apr 17th, 2008 05:28:30 PM
Holy crap.
She's a 6 by malpaso	Apr 17th, 2008 05:49:05 PM
Nothing more, nothing less
Phategod2 by finky089	Apr 17th, 2008 06:44:17 PM
are you talking about the Cobra Nightraven, that had the detachable shuttle jet? That thing was the shit! I still have the shuttle jet (and unfortunately, ONLY the shuttle jet.) Was the Defiant the big space shuttle vehicle? That came a little after the USS Flagg time.
Not the Raven by Phategod2	Apr 17th, 2008 06:51:22 PM
GI joe had one Too The Phantom X-19 http://tinyurl.com/29hz3p and yes the Defiant was the space shuttle and launch complex also it cost $100.00
Beee-iONGGGG-gh-gh-gh! by kirttrik	Apr 17th, 2008 06:51:46 PM
SCcceeeARlet, darling, my bonner's ready.
Scarlett + Sexy Black Leather = GI HO! by MrMysteryGuest	Apr 18th, 2008 12:19:25 AM
And I mean that in a good way! :)
Why does every uniform have to be black? by qualopec	Apr 18th, 2008 01:03:32 AM
Jeez, not another X-Men job where they make every character's outfit the same black color. Give me the original orange and purple Scarlett any day.
Why black? by hopewell1	Apr 18th, 2008 01:24:07 AM
My guess the average moviegoer would find it hard to believe that a woman would run out into battle wearing what's basically a workout leotard with boots and gloves. Too bad though but they could have at least added some ninja stars to her glove and maybe some muted colors from the original action figure.

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Scarlett has her ponytail, her crossbow and her figure intact and tasty! G.I. JOE!!!!

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