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testing 1 2 3
by xega
Apr 6th, 2008
11:23:36 AM
test
Still, the best reason to see this is....
by Aloy
Apr 6th, 2008
11:30:02 AM
for the cool musical score over the closing credits.
Watched This For The 1st Time Last Night
by tolomey
Apr 6th, 2008
11:32:09 AM
And I have to say it blew my socks off. I kinda avoided it at the cinema due to the whole "shaky cam" aspect of the film, but watching it on DVD last night (I love torrents) I have to say it was awesome. Also, you get to see more of the monster than the reviews that I read led me to believe. I am well up for a second movie. (hopefully a more conventional movie dealing with the army's fight against the creature and maybe a little backstory about where it came from) See this movie.....It fucking rocks!!
boring
by Dwarves
Apr 6th, 2008
11:37:04 AM
I won't watch these.
by thebearovingian
Apr 6th, 2008
11:37:42 AM
I won't watch Cloverfield ever again (after this next time)! This is my solemn vow!
whoopdie frickin' doo dah day!
by rctowns
Apr 6th, 2008
11:38:15 AM
I can't wait to shell out for a double-disc version of this if all the bonus features are as awe-inspiring as these two incredibly different takes on the ending are!!!
Didn't really care for it.
by mrfan
Apr 6th, 2008
11:40:14 AM
Had no problem with the idea. Thought it was good concept. Two things made me care little for this. First, I really wish that the monster would have never been shown in its full glory. I enjoyed seeing bits and pieces and letting my imagination go wild. Second, I could have cared less about the characters. Didn't care whether they lived or died. I was hoping that they would have lost the camera and somebody else would have picked it up. Good idea for a movie. Lousy way of fullfilling it.
I didn't like this movie either
by beetlegeuse
Apr 6th, 2008
11:43:09 AM
It wasn't awful, but it wasn't far off. After all the super positive reviews I read, I thought it would be better. Saw the Ruins too, also very disappointing. It was as bad as the previews make it look. I know AICN wants to get excited about a movie, i do too, but wait for something worthy, and stop crying wolf or I won't believe you any more.
Worth seeing once
by enderandrew
Apr 6th, 2008
11:44:49 AM
It wasn't the end-all, be-all that people made it out to be, nor was it horrible.
Yeah... those were pretty pointless...
by Anti-fanboy
Apr 6th, 2008
11:48:05 AM
And I still don't care about the plastic yuppie characters one iota. Is it because they had all the warmth and likeability of the cast of your average Disaronno commercial? Just maybe.
I don't know what I was expecting
by The Pusher
Apr 6th, 2008
11:48:36 AM
from these videos. Maybe ACTUAL ALTERNATE ENDINGS? If these are indicative of the special features on the Cloverfield disc, I think I'll pass.
*very* disappointing film
by prbt
Apr 6th, 2008
11:49:04 AM
Utterly hate-able characters poncing about in the near dark for fifty minutes? nah, thanks.
Cloverfield was incredible. These videos aren't.
by critch
Apr 6th, 2008
11:55:34 AM
I loved Cloverfield something fierce, but these endings are bull. Nobody cares about 5 seconds of footage from coney island, and I can't tell a difference from the real ending and the second one.
Second worst movie of the last 12 months..
by conspiracy
Apr 6th, 2008
11:56:16 AM
right after that Transformers fiasco. Honestly...if you are going to make a movie that is supposed to "feel" realistic...at least make the characters and their actions believable. The only good things about Cloverfield were Lizzy Caplan and Jessica Lucas...not that they could act worth a shit, but they would be perfect for a role in some Eastern European Underground hard core.
Quick Questions
by JeremiahTheProphet
Apr 6th, 2008
12:02:57 PM
1.) I missed the credits, was the overchure really that cool? Because I love Giacchino and I have little doubt that it was good.

2.) Did anyone here get sick from the camera motions? Because I know a few people who did.

3.) WeinerPenis was never loved as a child except by his uncle in the back of a toolshed. Actually, that last one was a statement. Sorry about that...

To the eXtreme negative...
by Reverend Toast
Apr 6th, 2008
12:03:51 PM
Sorry this movie disappointed you, but not once did the film-makers ever state that this was going to be the greatest movie of all time. Not once did they make you think this movie was going to be anything more than it was. If you didn't like this movie, that is okay, however it achieved every goal they set out for it, and they proved that a movie can be a huge success with minimal advertising, if done right. About the ending... this movie wasn't about the monster, it was about the people. And the monster didn't kill them, the army did. They are one of the "acceptable casualties" you always hear about in disaster movies like this, only you never get to put a face, or even a name on the victim.
Oh...
by JeremiahTheProphet
Apr 6th, 2008
12:04:28 PM
And these are not alternate endings, these are wastes of digital film. Nice going, assholes.
That's why I hate DVD bonus material.
by Shozo
Apr 6th, 2008
12:06:04 PM
That's why I hate DVD bonus material. Boring, pointless, stupid. The REAL alternate ending: Nuke is dropped. Smoke rises. Giant monster and comes out of the ashes and drags helicopter down to the ground. Camera breaks - static - black. Credits roll. Because no one would have survived that fucking crash and everything that came after it in the movie was extraneous.
This movie is great
by filmcrazy14
Apr 6th, 2008
12:07:16 PM
I like tolomey just watched this last night after downloading the torrent and absolutely loved it. I think that if they wanted to keep up with this handcam thing it could easily be done by means of giving it to a soldier who decides to do the same thing as some soldiers in Iraq right now. Hopefully with that military involvement standing we could learn more about the monster and where it came from and hopefully get a more little bit more satisfying ending. I know Matt Reeves said they could do the same movie from another person perspective taking place at the same time as this one so maybe the movies could crossover at some point.
Revered Toast is right
by JeremiahTheProphet
Apr 6th, 2008
12:08:24 PM
George Lucas learned that lesson from Episode 1 and is barely talking about Indiana Jones. I personally like the movie, because I always was interested in stuff like "Ooh, Godzilla just smashed that apartment! I wonder who lived there..." Screw scientists, they're 4 billion times whinier than the people in this movie.
Loved the movie but . . .
by CBWolf
Apr 6th, 2008
12:08:32 PM
These aren't much of an alternate ending. Just slightly different bits of the ten seconds of footage at the end. No new information, not even different choices with how to end it, just very slightly different ways of executing that choice. Ah well, watching them reminded me how good the movie was. I'll definitely be picking it up on the 22nd.
one of the best films of this year so far
by BrightEyes
Apr 6th, 2008
12:19:06 PM
You people just bitch bitch bitch, but thats what makes this site fun I guess. Cloverfield is one of the best horror films I have seen in a long time, very erie like Don't look know and makes you feel unsafe just watching. Cloverfield is a masterpiece of modern horror.
This movie was a horrible mess
by QuiGonnJin&Tonic
Apr 6th, 2008
12:20:56 PM
The actors were soulless and I couldn't give a rat's ass about the characters. Vapid and pointless dialog didn't help either. The monster sucked and the story went nowhere. But my main complaint the characters. Who gives two shits about some yuppies in NYC? I was glad to see everyone die. Oh and Fuck JJ Abrams. Some of the blame if not all can be placed on him as well.
fuuuuuck Cloverfield
by MC-909
Apr 6th, 2008
12:31:52 PM
JJ Abrams is the new PT Barnum. "Come see the magnificent Cloverfield monster! It's just beyond this curtain! Money up front please. Sorry, no refunds! Hahahaha! Fuck you, you bunch of suckers!"

In closing, I'd like to restate my inital argument: fuck Cloverfield.

POINTLESS!!
by lordgrimplemort
Apr 6th, 2008
12:38:18 PM
If you are going to include alternate endings, please make sure they're actually different. I only saw this once, so maybe they changed a few words and I didn't notice, but those seemed like the exact same ending to me.What a waste of time. The movie was way overhyped to begin with with all the fake mystery and backstory. Should have just sold it as a straight monster attack movie. What was the point of all that slusho crap?
the new Star Trek is going to suck most likely
by QuiGonnJin&Tonic
Apr 6th, 2008
12:39:56 PM
I hope I am wrong but MI: 3 was horrible and I tried to find reasons to like Cloverfield but there's nothing redeemable about this shitfest.
Hilarious!
by Pariah74
Apr 6th, 2008
12:41:53 PM
How many people have such hollow lives that they seek out talk backs on movies they hate. lmao@u! losers
Pariah74
by MC-909
Apr 6th, 2008
12:43:28 PM
You must be new here.
failed alternate endings
by messi
Apr 6th, 2008
12:45:04 PM
need the one of the future where judgement day didn't come to pass.
WTF?
by Lord_Soth
Apr 6th, 2008
12:47:46 PM
Alternate endings my ass... who cares about the final 5 secs here?
So... I don't get it...
by Johnno
Apr 6th, 2008
12:48:58 PM
What the hell for so alternate about this? Running throguh the subway? A little more dirt on the lens? I can't wait to hear the commentary behind these two takes...
I'll save you some time...
by hubert_cumberdale
Apr 6th, 2008
12:50:29 PM
The first "alternate" (and I use that term loosely) ending, the difference is they used a short clip of the girl walking down the walkway at Coney Island or whaerever it was supposed to be after they had a good day. Then camera goes black. The second "alternate" ending is 99% identicle to the theatrical ending... the last shot in the camera is them looking out into the ocean, then turning the camera onto themselevs and the girl says "I had a good day", they smile, cut to black. The only minor difference in this alternate one, is you do not see the monster landing in the ocean in the top right hand corner right before they turn the camera. So I guess that was added later in post, so this is just the clip how it looked before they added that tiny tiny effect. Bravo!
Cloverfield sucked.
by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz
Apr 6th, 2008
12:51:27 PM
I got to see it for free. Terrible movie. Total garbage.
the last video shows them finding the camera
by Datascream
Apr 6th, 2008
12:57:52 PM
I think they should have left that one in. Honestly I'd rather they not make another movie. I like it more as a stand alone movie.
conspiracy..
by sharpie
Apr 6th, 2008
01:03:11 PM
obviously didnt see college road trip. i liked the movie, but these "alternate endings" are bullshit.
WOT
by WatertownSurfer
Apr 6th, 2008
01:04:47 PM
Waste of time.
I'll take Diary of the Dead
by kolchak
Apr 6th, 2008
01:07:06 PM
over Cloverfield any day of the week.
I'll take Porn
by QuiGonnJin&Tonic
Apr 6th, 2008
01:07:55 PM
over Cloverfield any day of the week.
"It's Godzooky! MIKE! MIIIIIKE!!!! MIIIIIKE!!!!"
by uss cygnus
Apr 6th, 2008
01:11:12 PM
BLAIR....WITCH...RIP...OFF. End of line.
Hugely overrated
by Mr Writer
Apr 6th, 2008
01:17:00 PM
Glad to see I wasn't the only one who thought Cloverfield was a complete let down. It had its moments, but it was a missed opportunity in my opinion. It could have been a found footage rollercoaster ride of a movie with the kind of tension Aliens had the first time you say it. Instead it was unemotional and boring with a really flat ending.
I'll a take a bullet to the eyeball...
by Ambush_Bug
Apr 6th, 2008
01:20:34 PM
...before I watch that stupid shit again. That monster was so fucking overhyped on this website - honestly - did anyone here see The Mist? THAT'S what that fucker should have looked like. Seriously - who can argue that point? JJ Abrams has yet to impress me. He's a blatant copycat that, with every movie he makes, is slowly revealing himself to be a no-talent hack.
Thought the most effective scene
by skimn
Apr 6th, 2008
01:26:24 PM
was the subway attack by the "offsprings". When they are first viewed crawling on the ceiling through the night vision, I thought "Oh you're fucked now..."
Holy Fuck
by TheMcflyFarm
Apr 6th, 2008
01:35:07 PM
Why does every movie have to either be the most incredible thing ever or the most horrible piece of shit in the world? This movie was ALRIGHT, solid entertainment, nothing more.
re-barb through chest
by Thundercats73
Apr 6th, 2008
01:35:54 PM
If you take a re-barb through the chest, you're dead. End of story. Especially if it's been there for hours. You would have bled out.
Cloverfield was Masterful
by topaz4206
Apr 6th, 2008
01:35:59 PM
I too do not understand the hate. The first true "FPS" (First Person Shooter) movie I have ever seen -- something which "Doom" the movie was only able to sustain for 3 minutes, this movie did for over 60. Matchmoving digital effects to planned camera moves is hard enough -- doing it to handheld camera with this level of transparency is just extraordinary. I really felt that Hud was "me," and I was living the scariest day of my life. Reminded me of the "Back to the Future" ride at Universal Studios, only batshit-scary!

RE: the characterizations -- this movie is both an homage and reinvention of the kaiju classics such as "Godzilla." Does anyone remember the humans in any of the 28 Godzilla films? Me neither. It's all about the horror of the moment.

I'll cut here, but if you agree let's be Netflix friends!
http://www.netflix .com/BeMyFriend/PPI2Jko9KNQcmM T5f0h9
are either of these versions...
by docmem
Apr 6th, 2008
01:42:41 PM
...the one where they remember to include characters that we give a shit about, played by actors who weren't from the Not Ready For Dawson's Creek Players? Because if not, I'm not sure why anyone should care.
No sarcasm, just want an answer...
by Mo_Green
Apr 6th, 2008
01:54:56 PM
Can somebody tell me what makes the second clip an "alternate ending"? That's exactly how I remember the movie ending when I saw it in the theater. What am I missing?
Cloverfield Legos! Amazing
by kirttrik
Apr 6th, 2008
02:14:12 PM
http://tinyurl.com/6detx2
I want an alternative CAST...
by BurnHollywood
Apr 6th, 2008
02:15:11 PM
...So I'm not supposed to sympathize with a bunch of beer-commercial, Yuppie fuckwads and have some real New Yorkers to root for. I would have seen it twice in the theaters if it had started out in Brooklyn, Queens, a Harlem hoopty, a Hasidic deli...fuckin' corny white screenwriters.
I can't hate this movie
by Hikaru Ichijo
Apr 6th, 2008
02:19:05 PM
They tried something different, and it's hit and miss. Not much of a surprise there. I enjoyed it as being an unconventional and generally effective take on the giant monster genre, however, I agree that these clips don't add much dimension to the story. I think we've seen what they have to offer.
Pirate this movie
by floatybrownthing
Apr 6th, 2008
02:19:32 PM
Download it. Borrow it from your friend who's stupid enough to buy it because he's one of those fucks who wouldn't know a good movie if it bit him on the ass, but DO NOT BUY THIS MOVIE! do NOT give paramount your money, only then can we hope for a sequel to not be made.
Let's face it burnhollywood
by floatybrownthing
Apr 6th, 2008
02:20:18 PM
If we had REAL new yorkers in cloverfields, they'd be screaming "fuck you!2 at it and trying to kick it chuck norris style.
hahaha @ "rebarb" to the chest
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
02:22:37 PM
those rebarbs are deadly
I googled
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
02:28:11 PM
Apparently some people spell it that way. Weird.
"George Lucas has realize that he's a one trick pony"
by RedR
Apr 6th, 2008
02:31:42 PM
George Lucas can't write dialogue worth a damn but a one trick pony he ain't. He co-wrote and directed American Graffiti (one of the top ten grossing films of all time before Star Wars). Then he decided to start up ILM and finance it by himself in order to make the effects for Star Wars. Then there's Star Wars itself, Skywalker sound, the story and character for Indiana Jones and Lucasarts. That's an awful lot of luck for an idiot.
George Lucas isn't an idiot, he's a dark God!
by kirttrik
Apr 6th, 2008
02:38:39 PM
Willing to ruin all at his very whim.
HERE'S A 3RD ALTERNATE ENDING!
by uppercanuck
Apr 6th, 2008
02:45:51 PM
This one is a little more frightening... http://tinyurl.com/2q9j9y
"Dont look at the camera, look at me!"
by SHINEBOXgreen
Apr 6th, 2008
02:46:26 PM
Really? Really? Handycam batteries last that long? Really? Really? Giant spiders are pwning my friends and I'm gonna make sure to get it all on camera? Really? Really? I have to walk across the top of a skyscraper and, in order to keep my balance, I'm gonna hold the camera and keep filming? I don't even think Albert Maysles would have been this dedicated a filmmaker.
Where the Cloverfield hate comes from
by JumpinJehosaphat
Apr 6th, 2008
02:54:04 PM
QuiGonnJin&Tonic pretty much nailed why so many talkbackers disliked this film when he/she wrote, "Who gives two shits about some yuppies in NYC?" The initial argument usually tends to be that the characters were soulless and poorly written. This dovetails into the "this movie was over-hyped" argument. However, at the end of the day, most haters of this film simply aren't able to see the characters as people because of their social and economic backgrounds. That shut the door on being able to care about them even before the film actually started rolling. The characters aren't seen as "real New Yorkers" (whatever the hell that means), leading me to believe people only think a "real New Yorker" is like some extra on "The King of Queens". At the end of the day, this movie was disliked by so many here, because of an inability to get over their own xenophobia of people from other walks of life, and allowed themselves to be sold something they thought was anything but a regular Hollywood monster movie. So, Cloverfield haters, it's your own damn fault for not being able to get past your own ideas and prejudices to enter the world this movie presented. It's a shame, too. It was a fun film.
Ah... The Rick Roll fake-out post...
by Anti-fanboy
Apr 6th, 2008
02:57:14 PM
I think it's time to find a new bit of 80's cheese for these things. I still smile, though.
remember that guy who came with Beth to the party?
by Judge Briggs
Apr 6th, 2008
02:58:25 PM
he is exactly what every NY dude looks like...
i don't know why everyone hates this movie...
by Ironhelix
Apr 6th, 2008
03:00:39 PM
i have a theory that the viral marketing worked so well, that geeks felt stupid for being so easily manipulated the way they were. thus, they took out their frustration on the film when it released and didn't cure cancer and abolish war from the earth. it's a good fucking movie. if it made you sick because of the way it was shot, that's fair enough, but besides that, there aren't any other movies in this genre that come close to pulling off what this movie did.
P.S.
by Judge Briggs
Apr 6th, 2008
03:01:03 PM
the movie rocked
OLD! CloverfieldClues.com revealed this AGES ago!
by J-Dizzle
Apr 6th, 2008
03:02:44 PM
Now give us some BSG or Lost news.
Lucas might be a one-trick pony...
by sith_rising
Apr 6th, 2008
03:03:10 PM
but that one trick is the greatest trick in the history of cinema, and greater than anything we'll ever see, so suck it!
Creature reminds me of Alien Resurrection
by Spartacus Hughs
Apr 6th, 2008
03:06:31 PM
Alien Newborn
if you are hated it so much...
by Obscura
Apr 6th, 2008
03:07:50 PM
WHY are you here watching yet more of it? hoping an alternate ending would improve a film you hate?
JunpinJehosaphat...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 6th, 2008
03:09:09 PM
Totally nailed it. The movie kicked ass and trying to resort to 'Oh I totally didn't relate to the characters at all' is just grasping at straws. As far as how 'stupid' the monster looked, you know what looks 'stupid?' A Giraffe. And yet they're real. So maybe it is that your ideas as to what a monster in a film like this 'ought to look like' are a little narrow-minded. Bought this DVD on bootleg at an Indian smoke shop in Camden yesterday for eight bucks--seemed like the right thing to do...
One more thing...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 6th, 2008
03:10:48 PM
A big Fuck You to the shitbag dumping on Lucas. Could you be any more of a non-original-opinion-having lemming? Go suck balls...
Did Anyone Else Notice???
by SamBlackChvrch21
Apr 6th, 2008
03:16:50 PM
at the end of the movie, when they riding on the ferris wheel and for a moment film the view of the ocean. Look to the upper left of the screen something falls out of the sky and lands into the water.
Rutjerkoffo, It's not about having an opinion, it's speaking the
by kirttrik
Apr 6th, 2008
03:22:24 PM
Lucas has gone to the dark side. If you enjoy his new work fine, but this is a talkback site, it's here for people to voice their opinions. Just because the majority of people share the same opinion doesn't mean they are unoriginal, but maybe it means that what their talking about could/should of been better, far better. And it easily could have been. Until the DARK GOD (the name that shall not be spoken) begins openly critiquing his work minus his ego I won't be a fan. And I'll also boisterously complain about the various inadequacies of the product he shamelessly produces. He needs to loose the ego and create some real work.
For me it's a simple matter
by QuiGonnJin&Tonic
Apr 6th, 2008
03:24:04 PM
I just couldn't stand the characters and was not emotionally invested in their fates. For me it's not a matter of their social or economic backgrounds. They were simply just not that interesting and came across in my opinion as empty shells, regardless of their upbringing in the movie. One could argue that the Godzilla fodder was also faceless but shouldn't we care about the people being hurt. Maybe it's just me, but oh well...
Haters don't like it when....
by closeencounter
Apr 6th, 2008
03:31:47 PM
They view people who remind them of themselves. Only, in Cloverfield, the 20-something's get their asses kicked and, just like the New Yorkers on 9/11, start to panic. It would be only natural. BTW, I enjoyed the movie also. Bring on the sequel!
I liked the movie
by Nuck81
Apr 6th, 2008
03:33:34 PM
But was dissapointed that it wasn't a giant lion from Japan that came from the ocean to ultimately form VOLTRON
The sickening camera
by Orionsangels
Apr 6th, 2008
03:54:00 PM
The gimmick of it being filmed with a camcorder wears off quickly and you're just left wanting to see the movie filmed like a regular movie.
did anybody notice this was GENO + Shaky Cam?
by BMacSmith
Apr 6th, 2008
04:03:18 PM
not very original. Even had the mini-monsters. at least it didnt have matthew broderick. that made it better.
the second video had something interesting in it..
by torpor_haze
Apr 6th, 2008
04:14:30 PM
between the camera break and the coney island footage there are few quick frames of something different. i think i saw water hitting the glass or something.
Should've shown the monster LESS
by performingmonkey
Apr 6th, 2008
04:30:26 PM
I don't know about anyone else but I hated the end where we see the monster close-up in a lingering shot. They didn't need to do that because then it's just another lame CG creature. The glimpses should have been enough. It's way too small when it kills Hud. Before that it's established as a HUGE creature, then when it takes him in its mouth it may as well just be the size of a T-Rex!! They should have cut that scene.
Dumbest fucking idea since giant microwave...
by poeticwarriorII
Apr 6th, 2008
04:34:47 PM
in BB. Whatever dumb fuck decided to make this bs out as a DOD film replete with 1 hour of useless twats pining over some dime a dozen bitch should be pistol whipped. Couple that with shitty acting and giant wingless sea bats capable of fending off 2000 lb. laser guided bombs and you've got a shitfest to rival any F grade Japanese "monster" movie.
yeh, old scary monsters are great...
by Seph_J
Apr 6th, 2008
04:56:06 PM
... just rewatched Bava and Argento's DEMONS. Awesome stuff. You just don't get it anymore really. Masters of Horror kinda got there, but it doesn't feel the same. I dread to think what the xenobites in the HELLRAISER remake are gonna be like. Is it being done by Michael Bay? OMG Pinhead is gonna be Shia LeBeef with a mohawk or something. I dread to think.
and the HELLRAISER
by Seph_J
Apr 6th, 2008
04:58:10 PM
cube is so gonna transform into a mini megatron or something. Just imagine the awful CG.
VOTE SHATNER / NIMOY 08!
by Seph_J
Apr 6th, 2008
05:02:48 PM
"MAKE IT SO!"
New AICN catchphrase
by QuiGonnJin&Tonic
Apr 6th, 2008
05:04:40 PM
Except for the useless twats pining over some dime a dozen bitch!
Lest we forget the
by kolchak
Apr 6th, 2008
05:08:23 PM
"ZOMG! IT'S STILL ALIVE!?" cop-out ending.
Rob going after Beth made sense...
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
05:11:28 PM
His friends following didn't, but I wasn't there for the melodrama. I was there for some monster stompage. But seriously, if none of you guys have ever had someone in your life that you'd toss rationality out the window for, to the point of heading straight into ground zero of a monster attack just to try and save them, well then I feel sorry for you. Because I've had that person before (although I don't anymore) and I totally understand Rob's motivations. If it was me I'd tell my friends to get lost and save themselves, but hey then we wouldn't have chicks essplodin' and some goofy guy filming everything. Cloverfield was a fun experiment, you ass clowns acting like it's a blight upon cinema need to get a life.
Brunomac
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
05:19:11 PM
It would be alright, because once that rebar shoulder wound scarred up I would be way too shallow to stick with the broad.
I saw the big wheel ending at the cinemas
by webster1990
Apr 6th, 2008
05:26:41 PM
did the US get different endings or something
Here's what the Cloverfield complainers sound like:
by FluffyUnbound
Apr 6th, 2008
05:27:27 PM
"I really wanted to like the movie, and was psyched by the great reviews, but it was all hype. It was absolutely impossible for one of the creatures to have been on the drop ship, because it only touched down for a moment to let the APC roll out, and you can see it the whole time and no creature jumps on. This lapse in realism makes me think the whole movie is ridiculous. I don't care how good Hudson's lines are, if they can't get something simple right like the setup for getting Hicks and Ripley stranded and needing the other drop ship to be remote flown to the surface, it just takes me right out of the film."
"corny white screenwriters"
by Geekgasm
Apr 6th, 2008
05:32:58 PM
bingo
uss cygnus
by shodan6672
Apr 6th, 2008
05:55:32 PM
Actually, Blair Witch ripped just about everything off from Canibal Holocaust...
Loved it
by tme2nsb
Apr 6th, 2008
05:56:34 PM
The only hype that was made was that of stupid fucks on the internet. I can't wait for the sequel.
The award
by shodan6672
Apr 6th, 2008
05:57:55 PM
for most overused word of the decase goes to..."emo"
Worst movie of the year...
by Reyvn_DarKnight
Apr 6th, 2008
05:58:44 PM
until JJs other project, the next Star Trek flick is released, then it becomes the worst film of the year.
OHHHH it's cool to hate Cloverfield now...
by castor778
Apr 6th, 2008
06:05:22 PM
I'm so far behind on talkbacks on this site, I forgot how lame some of you are. It's cool to hear people say "I just thought it was alright" or "It wasn't all it's cranked up to be" or just the understandable "I didn't like this, this and this." But a month or so after it's release, all half of you do now is label it the worst film of the year, worst CGI you've ever seen, worst acting, blah blah blah blah. If Cloverfield had the worst in any of those categories than I'd say Hollywood must have some masterpieces out there. Could of fooled me, but I thought my choices in theatres consisted of College Road Trip, Meet The Browns, Shutter, 10,000 BC, and other shit that I wouldn't get paid to see. But somehow, you lame pieces of shit have to take something worth seeing for a change and talk shit about it to think you're cool, sophisticated, or the new hip film-school drop out that'll never make anything original other than a short film featuring a clown flashing on screen for no fucking reason. I hate you fucking people, I really do.
BLAIRCLOVERFIELD =ONE OF THE WORST MOVIES..
by Underoos Hero
Apr 6th, 2008
06:07:51 PM
I watched part of a ripped copy because there was NO WAY I was going to see this trash in the theater. And what a waste of fucking time, as I had earlier presumed it would be. Dumbest shit EVER!! JJ...you suck.
Best definition of geek I've ever heard
by JumpinJehosaphat
Apr 6th, 2008
06:09:42 PM
"Someone who argues too long about esoteric knowledge of a subject most people could care less about." Dissecting a movie monster's apparent realism (or lack thereof) misses the point of using a monster as a plot device in a story such as this. It's The Unknown. Period. End of story. Don't try and wrap your geeky little brains around its physics, lest you miss out on the story being told. This, apparently, happened quite a bit.
FluffyUnbound hit the nail on the head.
by Ironhelix
Apr 6th, 2008
06:14:35 PM
Wait WAIT! What happened to the third alternate ending?
by Johnno
Apr 6th, 2008
06:14:47 PM
The one where the US army calls in Voltron and they fly in and kick the monsters ass back to Jupiter?
Dug the movie
by Kurutteru Yatsu
Apr 6th, 2008
06:14:56 PM
Plan on buying the DVD so I can freeze frame and get a better look at everything. I completely missed the "something dropping in the water" at the end people have mentioned here.

And by the way, to all the people who hated the original, try watching the knock-off version called 'Monster.' Rob and Beth will be Bogey and Bacall by the time you're done with that one.
Cloverfield was great
by Roderich
Apr 6th, 2008
06:26:02 PM
It shows us a tape made by totally drunk (and unhappy) yuppies who happen to accidentally film the attack of a very nasty giant monster while they are having a party. That's the idea, not great character-studies or some other crap some of the talkbackers here claim to have expected. And this works very good, even the guilt-driven decision of our drunken hero to help his "love" although this means to get nearer to the horrifying cthulhoid monster (which btw did work very well). It was a goddamn MONSTER-Movie and it delivered on almost all levels. The alternative endings here are not worth mentioning though. Just variations of the same idea with not much to do than shrug...
Youtube has invited pop cinema !!!!
by Faust_8
Apr 6th, 2008
06:35:02 PM
Sure, because any Tom , Dick, or Harry can post a 'movie' on youtube, why not let that concept permeate hollywood and give us crap like Cloverfield
WeinerPenis, you are truly retarded!
by TheBigLebowsky
Apr 6th, 2008
06:58:48 PM
You see what I did? I stated my opinion as if it was a fact. Just like you did in that post, at the begining of this TB. Nobody is right or wrong, it works for you or not, you just like it or you don't. If you don't understand that, you really are retarded. That's a fact.
Now THIS is an AICN talkback!!!
by Guy Who Got A Headache And Accidentally Saves The World
Apr 6th, 2008
06:59:13 PM
When something becomes liked and therefore hip, let us hate it, my brothers, thus rendering their hipness null and becoming even hipper ourselves, a sort of, preemtive elitism you could say. We are incapable of simply enjoying something anymore, we're too embarassed and pussified to like something without being afraid of being caught enjoying something someone else might not like. Fuck you hateful motherfuckers.
Alternate means different as not the same!
by Violator90
Apr 6th, 2008
07:02:04 PM
These so called "alternate" ending are he same fucking thing! Hell, I would have at least like an ending where we see the happy couple getting chewed up by those "parasite monsters." Now that would have been an alternate ending. But these sucking monster balls.
Lot of people walked out when I went to see it
by blindambition238
Apr 6th, 2008
07:13:25 PM
Can't blame them either. It was a good attempt at trying a new approach but it just didn't work.
Yeah, monster movies...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 6th, 2008
07:40:19 PM
...should show the monster all of the time. They should bukkake us with it like Aliens did. Now THAT is masterful cinema!
1:55
by shoe1985
Apr 6th, 2008
07:41:06 PM
If you can get it right when the time turns to 1:55, it looks like someone found the tape. Also, the movie was awesome. This is not a movie for everyone. People went in expecting a monster movie with a lot of character development. What you get is a tape that is meant to be found by the military, and you know what the characters know. You are seeing what happened to them on this night a monster attacked the city they were in. It is a very simple movie. Either you like it or you hate it.
Fuck! Cloverfield!
by Jismaster
Apr 6th, 2008
07:41:58 PM
No one walked out when i went to see it. What the hell were people expecting? It's a MONSTER movie and a fun one, at that.
Walking out of a movie...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 6th, 2008
07:43:53 PM
Is the LAMEST most DORK-O-RIFIC activity one can perform. Yeah, you are so cool. Gee, you didn't plan that all along, huh? Nothing says L-O-S-E-R quite like ponying up the money and then leaving before it's over to 'prove' something to someone who isn't even there. Nice move, slick. What's next--ordering at McDonald's, paying, but then walking out in an awesome flourish just to show them how far above their food you are? Fucking amazing...
i'm really really baffled
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
07:45:54 PM
as to why all the bitterness. It wasnt the best movie ever but was way more enteratining then some. Please explain CONSTRUCTIVLEY why you hate this movie and jj ?
dalbatron..
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 6th, 2008
07:48:32 PM
You are wasting your time. All you are going to get is crying about how we didn't see the monster enough or they didn't like the characters or it was arip-off of such and such or they weren't held enough as children or how The Host (Which, for the record BLOWS ASS) was 'vastly superior.' This will be followed by an invitation to a showing of The Brown Bunny...
rutgersjaffo nailed it...
by Jismaster
Apr 6th, 2008
07:48:48 PM
I don't care how shitty a movie is I will never walk out of it. 10.50 to get in, another 15 on food and I'm going to walk OUT of the movie? Assholes, that's corporate welfare. Free money for the studios and the theater. Read the fucking reviews and talk to your friends instead of being the dick who walked out of the movie and doesn't have anything constructive to say.
rutgersjaffo
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
07:52:16 PM
yeah your right, just baffles me what people expect? I'm old school so basically most movies entertain me.... The youth of today eh? seesh!!!
ive only walked out of a cinema
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
07:53:06 PM
and that cos my ex girlfriend offered to blow me in the toilets....
and the movie was....
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
07:55:01 PM
last of the mohicans
Dalbatron...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 6th, 2008
07:57:34 PM
...you did the right thing!
To be fair...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 6th, 2008
07:59:23 PM
...I would have walked out of Mission Impossible II if we hadn't been there with other people. Man did that blow...
RUTGERSJAFFO
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
07:59:34 PM
I thought so.... Good movie...but not that good... Good on cloverfield for trying something out... watched 'gravedancers' last night also.. oooh not a good movie.. you seen it?
Nope...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 6th, 2008
08:02:30 PM
And probably won't bother now. have to admit, I finally watched No Country for Old Men last week and I think that movie stinks all the way through it. A guy with a magic air gun?! Are you freaking kidding me?! And yeah, X3 really stunk up the joint too!
nearly left dumb and dumber
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
08:03:09 PM
cos it was poor. also nearly our of jacobs ladder, cos it disturbed me just too much...
No country for old men
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
08:05:59 PM
put the cunt into cuntry... Yeah have to admit it was silly, just plain silly, to truly show your distain for a movie.. put it on at home and just get up and leave to house.. that'll show em!! Another shit film people like to say they got was....(answer please..)
Only walked out of a movie once, regretted it.
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
08:06:28 PM
Bringing out the Dead, I think I was about 16. I only left because all my friends got up and left, and I was the one that had convinced everyone to see it. I was actually kind of enjoying it, so I instantly regretted being a sheep. I only lived a couple of blocks from the theater too, I could have stayed and walked home after. Haven't walked out of anything since and don't plan to, although I've been tempted by a couple stinkers.
juno
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
08:06:46 PM
grindhouse / planet terror
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
08:07:17 PM
2001
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
08:07:41 PM
Well...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 6th, 2008
08:07:42 PM
Dumb and Dumber (the first one), I had no issues with. Masterpiece? No. But I laughed I admit. Never even bothered with the sequel. Jacob's Ladder, yeah, that's one messed up movie...
was a student at the time
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
08:09:38 PM
so it was just too 'low brow' for me. I had all those 'blue' movie posters on my walls... 'big blue' 'betty blue' 'blues brothers'...'spaced' got that right!!
You know...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 6th, 2008
08:11:03 PM
I agree totally about Juno and the latest Terrentino shitfests. And I have to admit that I have always thought 2001 is overrated too...
Matrix...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 6th, 2008
08:13:01 PM
After the total shitfest of Matrix II, I vowed never even to watch the third for free. Still haven't. Matrix II may be the worst sequel in the history of cinema, on par with Caddyshack II and Jaws IV...
2001 is my second favorite movie of all time.
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
08:13:03 PM
I can't fathom people who don't like it, I don't toss the word profound around very often but it says some profound things about the human race and technology. Even on a technical level it still holds up pretty well today, 40 years later. I have probably seen it 30 times and I still have new insights every time I watch it.
I doubt anyone premeditates walking out
by blindambition238
Apr 6th, 2008
08:13:31 PM
... that would just be really fucking weird to plan an outing, pay up money, then make you and your friends leave. Plus I don't see how that would be making a statement since its not like anyone is going to actually see you. I don't remember the last time I walked out of a movie since when I sit down to watch a movie I obsessively need to finish it, but there are times when it did cross my mind.
jaws iv
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
08:15:27 PM
is a classic.. caine and van peebles.. WOW!!! Matrix 2 and 3 sucked soo much... ok quiz for ya... can you name a show where the polit movie failed and the show was a sucess.. OR movies where the sequel/s were better than the original???
i''l start
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
08:16:21 PM
buffy - shit film, sucessfull series... and young guns 2 much better than 1
gotham....
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
08:17:15 PM
howard the duck - i feel your pain bro'
Sequels better than the original
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
08:18:12 PM
Empire Strikes Back, The Good the Bad and the Ugly, Evil Dead II, Spider-man 2, and hopefully the Dark Knight. Loads others, let me think.
gwai - lo
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
08:22:21 PM
good work BUt dont you think as far as the franchise goes all the good work of those films you list was undone by the inferior '3rd' movie.
Sequels better than the original cont.
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
08:22:56 PM
Friday the 13th pt. II, the Road Warrior, X2, The Bourne Supremacy/Ultimatum, Terminator 2 (arguable), 28 Weeks Later (IMO), cases could be made for Dawn or even Day of the Dead. Blasphemy I know, but Day of the Dead is actually my favorite, even though I know it is a much lesser film impact-wise than its predecessors.
airwolf.. shit film great series
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
08:24:10 PM
or was that blue thunder.. no blue thunder was the great movie and shit series
Sequels better than the originals, very arguable picks:
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
08:25:34 PM
Aliens (I definitely prefer Alien but Aliens is awesome), Godfather II, can we include installments of the James Bond franchise that are better than Dr. No? Not many of them, I know, but in my opinion there are a few.
day of the dead is better....
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
08:26:25 PM
28 weeks later was also better.. you on the case Gwai Lo....What about beethovens 2nd... awsome!!!
Enough with the Lucas shit
by I Dunno
Apr 6th, 2008
08:26:31 PM
Every single fucking thread. Move on with your pointless lives for fuck's sake.
Dalbatron
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
08:26:44 PM
I don't really fault a previous film in a franchise for any ill will created by future installments. Otherwise any movie good enough to warrant a sequel would eventually be undone by something crappy.
bond,
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
08:26:58 PM
Let the torrent of hate begin
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
08:30:33 PM
I love the Devil's Rejects, and it's a much better film than House of 1000 Corpses. OK, go ahead and crucify me.
in order
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
08:30:59 PM
Dr no,from russia from love, goldfinger, casino royale,you only live twice, thunderball, the spy who loved me, moonraker, goldeneye, live and let die, octopussy, the man with the golden gun, diamonds are forever, - lazy shit from there on in...
Oooh
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
08:31:14 PM
Kill Bill 2.
brave gwai but im with ya!!
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
08:33:05 PM
how about? karate kid 2.. better hot shots part deux
I'm sure someone can make cases for
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
08:33:10 PM
Temple of Doom or the Last Crusade, but it's not going to be me because Raiders owns. Same thing with LOTR, Fellowship is my favorite but I know some prefer Two Towers or Return of the King.
kill bill was one movie
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
08:34:28 PM
shit into two turds
i prefer house 2 to house
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
08:37:55 PM
or even smokey and the bandit 2 NOT 3 though
Your Bond order is pretty solid
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
08:39:33 PM
Although I think you rated some of the Moore ones a bit high.
Can I possibly think of more?
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
08:41:33 PM
Lone Wolf and Cub II: Baby Cart at the River Styx is better than Lone Wolf and Cub I: Sword of Vengeance. The whole series is pretty solid though.
Wrath of Khan
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
08:42:28 PM
Not a Star Trek fan but...
Again, cases can be made for
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
08:45:07 PM
Back to the Future II and Superman II. I won't be making the case though, think McFly, think!
The Matrix Trilogy OWNS YOUR ASSES!!!
by Johnno
Apr 6th, 2008
08:49:07 PM
And Speed Racer is gonna run all over your sorry selves at the box office! Try walkin outta that one sucka!
lone wolf.... amazing!!!
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
08:51:34 PM
great work my friend... ok how about jesse stone: night passage , a far superior TVM..missing in action 2 :the beginning, a greater movie or my names not dalbatron
roger moore
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
08:54:16 PM
I guy i know used to have an apartment in the same block as moore and he used to tell me about things ' back in the day' when he used to get home and find moore totally shitfaced fumbling around for his keys.. " would you help me my good man to find my keys" my friend used to tell this in the best moore accent.. pure gold. I think ive rated them higher based on this...
Haha
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
08:54:20 PM
I have to concede that you know your Chuck Norris/Tom Selleck movies better than I do because I haven't seen either of those movies, nor their originals.
there is a trend though with the movies we have listed...
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
08:55:12 PM
first-ok, second-amazing, third - total poop
gwai lo
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
08:55:56 PM
what you need is a teething infant.. all the best tvm on a 3 am
Sleepaway Camp II?
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
08:57:15 PM
I dunno, the penis reveal in the first one may nudge it over the top.
got me there
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
08:58:42 PM
dont know that one... porkys 2 was a blinder of a movie... talking about penis reveal. dewey cox has the best one ever!!!!
You gotta watch the Sleepaway Camps.
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
09:00:47 PM
But stay away from part 3 because it doesn't do anything to disprove your third installment theories. Forget I said anything about a penis, it will reveal one of the greatest twist endings of all time.
is it like that movie with forrest whitaker as a british...
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
09:04:48 PM
cricket player who falls in love with the he she?
Kinda
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
09:07:17 PM
Except picture it at a summer camp where the proprietor is so irresponsible that he refuses to shut the camp down after scores of murders, including murder by bees and murder by vat of boiling water.
the crying game
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
09:09:03 PM
hes a soilder but has a dodgy flashback of himself playing cricket....
that sound like the perfect movie
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
09:10:23 PM
bees, boiling water and a penis reveal,, you gonna tell me that theres ninjas and dragons next, even ninjas ON dragons....
No ninjas or dragons..
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
09:13:09 PM
But after the penis reveal you get Frankie Vinci's "Angela's Theme", which is as close as you'll get to cinema nirvana: http://tinyurl.com/6drzez
Oh yeah, and there's copious titties
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
09:17:33 PM
Which balances out the shock of seeing a penis where a penis don't belong
"
by proper
Apr 6th, 2008
09:17:39 PM
I'm looking forward to seeing Cloverfield on DVD,I didn't get round to seeing it on the big screen as I thought the handheld concept would be a bit too much. Seph_J= niice.I remember seeing Demons in the VHS days,I liked the music and always found it funny that the heros name was George and the slick way he in which he introduced himself,the ending was pretty good once they got outside as well as I remember,good days.I shall go to youtube to reclaim it,respect.Sorry everybody,I thought Resident Evil 3 was a lot better than the first 2 which in my opinion were an insult to all survival horror enthusiasts for nothing more than the fact that it had a few scenes and environments in it which reminded me of the early games(for example the bit when the Zombie came out of the warbrobe/other room and bit LJ),still thats not saying much is it,oh well hopefully the CGI film will deal with it finally :).I'd like to see a Children of Men style brought to the next live RE film in the hope they can rip off first village scene in Resident Evil 4 right,that was quality on the first few plays.
"
by proper
Apr 6th, 2008
09:20:42 PM
I'm looking forward to seeing Cloverfield on DVD,I didn't get round to seeing it on the big screen as I thought the handheld concept would be a bit too much. Seph_J= niice.I remember seeing Demons in the VHS days,I liked the music and always found it funny that the heros name was George and the slick way he in which he introduced himself,the ending was pretty good once they got outside as well as I remember,good days.I shall go to youtube to reclaim it,respect.Sorry everybody,I thought Resident Evil 3 was a lot better than the first 2 which in my opinion were an insult to all survival horror enthusiasts for nothing more than the fact that it had a few scenes and environments in it which reminded me of the early games(for example the bit when the Zombie came out of the wardrobe/other room and bit LJ),still thats not saying much is it,oh well hopefully the CGI film will deal with it finally :).I'd like to see a Children of Men style brought to the next live RE film in the hope they can rip off the first village scene in Resident Evil 4 right,that was quality on the first few plays.
that is awsome!!!
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
09:27:18 PM
just you tubed it... that music is john carpenter meets wang chung.. 10/10.. is that girl angela? does she have a dick?
children of men meets 28 days later
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
09:28:53 PM
now thats a movie worth making
castor778
by quantize
Apr 6th, 2008
09:29:32 PM
we fucking hate you right back.
Haha yeah
by Gwai Lo
Apr 6th, 2008
09:30:02 PM
Unfortunately whoever made the video couldn't show everything on Youtube, but best believe the movie does. Anyway, track these films down and watch them because I'm honestly having a hard time thinking of a more entertaining way to spend a couple of hours right now. I think I might actually go watch one. Take it easy my friend, keep fighting the good fight
some of fave shock endings....
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
09:31:23 PM
to live and die in LA, saw, thriller, blair witch, the crying game, 28 weeks later, midnight cowboy....
take it east gwai
by dalbatron
Apr 6th, 2008
09:34:54 PM
if your not back in 20 mins... i'll call the president
where's the alternate ending that actually
by vaudeville villain
Apr 6th, 2008
09:39:26 PM
ties up the otherwise red herring ass subplots introduced by the viral marketing?
Gremlins 2
by veebeeyes
Apr 6th, 2008
10:32:53 PM
Can't forget Gremlins 2. So much more awesome than the first movie. It was a lot funnier, and those new Gremlins were badass.
Gizmo...HBO...Spice at Night
by QuiGonnJin&Tonic
Apr 6th, 2008
11:26:34 PM
No one's demanding an introspective character study
by IndustryKiller!
Apr 6th, 2008
11:46:06 PM
And if you're saying that that is what we were expecting then you're missing the point. But the movie was supposed to come off as a documentary. It was supposed to have an extra layer of reality. Unfortunately the screenwriter stopped at Hollywood cliches. I don't blame the actors at all, they were alright given their task, but they had characters to play who were bland as fuck and don't come off particularly interesting or real. Literally all we know about them is that they are rich and act and talk like yuppies without a care in the world other than "oh woe is me I like the girl and she likes me but we just can't seem to be together!" typical college bullshit. Not to mention they aren't written to react realisitcally to the situation they are in. You have the single minded hero straight man, the douche bag meathead whose job is to die, the painfully annoying comic relief, and the girls....well they do absolutely nothing but look pretty. It's just a weak as hell choice to build a film around if it isn't directed by Roland Emmerich and especially when we are supposed to be absorbed into a more reality based world. Not to mention they are just plain unlikeable. They aren't given a moment to show an ounce of intelligence. Maybe if once they had actually taken a moment to discuss the fact that the city is being attacked by a GIANT FUCKING MONSTER we could actually believe in them. The way they gallavant about you could CG in any random natural disaster in place of the monster and the film would still make total sense. The film assumes that simply because htey are human that you will sympathize witht hem. That would be fine if we weren't all to aware that we are watching a movie whose job it is to EARN our sympathya nd belief, not assume we will walk into the theater with them. You never forget for a second because of these characters that you are watching a film.
vaudeville villain, you mean like how "A.I."...
by Lenny Nero
Apr 7th, 2008
12:00:26 AM
...brought in the characters from its viral marketing campaign?
You make a good point IndustryKiller
by QuiGonnJin&Tonic
Apr 7th, 2008
12:12:44 AM
and i thought it sucked a huge fatty
Cloverfield was great.
by Motoko Kusanagi
Apr 7th, 2008
12:35:29 AM
I liked it despite the annoying presence of Mr. Shaky Cam.
Last movie I walked out on - LOVED THIS
by tme2nsb
Apr 7th, 2008
12:52:55 AM
Was King Arthur because that was SHIT. I can't say that I loved this movie. Yeah, I knew how it was going to end especially after watching it on The Pirate Bay, but seriously - why all of the hate? You knew what you were getting into if you read this site before the movie came out. JJ clearly said you wouldn't get a great view of the monster. To me, this was more of a Mystery Monster movie and it delivered. I wasn't expecting top notch acting or the best CGI or even for the shots to be steady, but it WAS suspenseful and I did have chills going down my spine when I saw shots of the creature. You fuckers who are calling it the worst movie ever apparently did not see the Ben Stiller and Jack Black shit that was out - shit, even crap with Drew Barrymore was worse. APPARENTLY you dumb fuckers forgot about that - hell, here is a list of a few movies that were crap:

The Darjeeling Limited
Code Name: The Cleaner

Happily N'Ever After
Alpha Dog
Stomp the Yard
The Hitcher
EPIC MOVIE FUCKERS!!
NORBIT YOU SHIT FUCKERS!!!!
GHOST RIDER YOU ASSHOLES

WILD HOGS IDIOTS!
DEAD SILENCE
The Hills Have Eyes 2
TMNT
Pathfinder
Kickin' It Old School

Lucky You
Spider-Man 3
DELTA FARCE - REALLY! BETTER than CLOVERFIELD?!?!
Shrek the Third
Mr Brooks
HOSTEL 2>>?? THINK ABOUT IT!!
Surf's Up
Fantasic Four 2
Nancy Drew
EVAN ALMIGHTY?! How can you forget about this one?!
Bayformers
Cashback
Chuck and Larry
I KNOW WHO KILLED ME
BRATZ BRATZ BRATZ
UNDER-FUCKING-DOG
Daddy Day Camp
Rush Hour THREE
THE -NANNY- DIARIES
Balls of GAY Fury
HALLOWEEN REMAKE

MR WOODCOCK feat Billy Bob Thortnon

GOOD LUCK CHUCK - more Dane Cook and Jessica Alba shit

RE: Extinction
The Game Plan
Elizabeth: The Golden Age (at least it won an academy award
30 Days of Night

Saw IV
BEE Gay Movie
Fred Claus


That is just a FEW of the movies that sucked, and were WAY worse than Cloverfield. PROVE ME WRONG !!!

Once again it devolves into Lucas bashing
by darthvedder81
Apr 7th, 2008
12:56:03 AM
It never ceases to amaze. People have turned a "Cloverfield" DVD talkback into a venue for trashing George Lucas. Phantom Menace is 100x more entertaining and creative than "Rich White People Screaming: The Movie"--I mean "Cloverfield".
dalbatron
by Gwai Lo
Apr 7th, 2008
01:10:06 AM
Thank you for exiting on one of my favorite Kurt Russell quotes. I constantly say that and people look at me like I'm nuts. I'm curious though, what's the shocker ending for Thriller? (I'm assuming you're talking about Thriller: A Cruel Picture aka They Call Her One Eye) Doesn't she just kill everyone and then the movie ends? I think The Mist has one of the all time great shocker endings, man what a downer.
Fucking stupid movie... SHOOT IT IN THE HEAD!
by LordEnigma
Apr 7th, 2008
01:27:30 AM
This is another movie written by someone, that has not taken the time to watch the History Channel. If they did. They would realize that these things called HEAT SEEKING MISSLES EXIST AND THEY LOCK ON TARGETS VIA HEAT! Seriously... the fucking monster has motherfucking BULBUS BLOOD FILLED AIR-BLADDERS ON THE SIDE OF IT'S FUCKING HEAD! Yeah the movie would have been a short, but the monster design kills this fucking movie. It kills it in ways, that the YUPPIES does not. Fuck this movie and long live LUCAS! Shithead twenty-somethings and your fucking cynicism.
Without the viral marketing and the hype...
by CuervoJones
Apr 7th, 2008
01:54:03 AM
geeks would like this movie. It´s just a cute little monster movie.
George Lucas doesn´t care about our opinion
by CuervoJones
Apr 7th, 2008
02:02:32 AM
Sad but true. He invented ILM, Star Wars and Indiana Jones. We invented zero.
Heat seeking missiles...
by veebeeyes
Apr 7th, 2008
02:05:22 AM
Is Cloverfield warm-blooded? Anyway, I don't see what good it would do to shoot Cloverfield in the head when he's invincible anyway.
Great, entertaining movie!!!!!!
by Lance2769
Apr 7th, 2008
02:06:46 AM
If you haven't seen the movie, don't believe all the negativity you read here. These are the same fuckin' idiots that bash EVERY movie that comes out unless it's some stupid mindless, wannabe comedy like Napolean Dynamite or Superbad. See it for yourself and ask yourself if you were 'entertained' NOT if this movie compares to 'Citizen Kane'.
La Cloverfield
by Gorgomel
Apr 7th, 2008
02:18:30 AM
http://tinyurl.com/6gxg4m
Blair Witch with a monster...
by Antz
Apr 7th, 2008
02:24:34 AM
only a whole lot more camera shake. Would be ok on a small screen, but most the people I saw it with hated it on the big screen. A 50% being disturbed / made ill by the shaky cam rate is way too high.
Too shaky, i wasn't able to enjoy it at all
by DarthBakpao
Apr 7th, 2008
03:53:16 AM
Throughout the movie, i wished Hud would just for once, hold the camera steady for at least 5 seconds. I would never ever sit through another movie like this anymore in the theater
skywalkerfamily will be rememberd as a classic movie
by travis-dane
Apr 7th, 2008
05:18:59 AM
gotham_night will be on the back shelf in the DVD store gathering dust.
The second video
by henrydalton
Apr 7th, 2008
05:35:25 AM
looks the same as the ending I saw in the cinema - what's the difference?
Oh right
by henrydalton
Apr 7th, 2008
05:40:26 AM
No monster splash? I never even saw that in the cinema one to begin with. Anyone got a link to the ACTUAL ending then? (It's not out on dvd here yet)
GED DOO DAH CHAHPPAH!!! DOO EED NOW!!!
by LaserPants
Apr 7th, 2008
05:54:14 AM
Now, don't worry, in the CLOVERVERSE, you can crash into the ground after plummeting thousands and thousands of feet to the ground and still walk away. Also, your videocamera won't break and will never run out of batteries. Also, one night stands = profound love. Also, completely retarded = everyday life.
CLOVERFELD Will B Remembered As A Classic Viral Ad Campaign
by LaserPants
Apr 7th, 2008
05:55:47 AM
Followed by an utterly ridiculous and terrible movie. Seriously though that first trailer was pretty great. Too bad the actual movie sucked.
Question _ Did they all die or did the one girl escape ..
by Yeti
Apr 7th, 2008
06:56:48 AM
In the helicopter? I thought the thing crashed it into a buliding my buddy that I went to see it with says no (He was also fighting CBS - Cloverfield Barfing Syndrom)
That's the one thing I hate about DVD.
by Knuckleduster
Apr 7th, 2008
07:05:48 AM
Alternate endings, alternate editions, alternate cuts. All bullshit. Is there an alternate version of Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea, or an alternate version of Miller's The Crucible, or an alternate version of Citizen Kane? Nope. It's hard to take modern film seriously as an artform when it's all about making the big bucks. Damn studios.
i thought...
by saddael
Apr 7th, 2008
07:06:50 AM
that the black girl survived. i quite enjoyed the film, even though the characters were unrealistically stupid. i too missed the bit were the monsta crashes into the sea ,and would appreciate a link to the ending. oh, and more Big Trouble quotes please...
Colverfield Stomps the Yard
by Series7
Apr 7th, 2008
07:39:41 AM
Personally I can't wait to see just how Seltzer and Friedberg spoof this movie in next years Goodie Two Shoes (assuming that title is going to be for their next spoof Masterpiece and not an actual attempt at a movie). Maybe They'll have the Cloverfield monster tell someone to do crazy things like the Cheetoes Cat. Whatever it is, you know its going to be funny, even after the 17th time they do it in the film!
Walked out of The Thin Red Line
by FluffyUnbound
Apr 7th, 2008
07:51:43 AM
I don't know why I didn't anticipate how awful it would be, but I just plain old fucked up and yes, they got my money but at least I got the hell out of there. Watching it was like being trapped underground in a warren while decadent rabbits read death poetry. "Where are you going, wind?" No fucking thank you. Considered walking out of The Doors, because it just seemed to go on and on like time had frozen or like I had somehow ended up in Bill and Ted's hell and my personal hell was watching an Oliver Stone movie that never ended. But I stuck it out to the bitter end, for which I am very proud. Sunlight never looked so bright and food never tasted as good as it did when I finally got out of The Doors.
appllause
by saddael
Apr 7th, 2008
07:58:13 AM
fair enough walking out of a film but what bugs me is when people applaud some bit of it. i mean its not the fuckin ballet. who are you applauding, the projectionist? nnnggg getting angrier. its just it takes you right out of the film. admittedly its not all that common in the uk but still
My biggest problem with Cloverfield
by Series7
Apr 7th, 2008
07:59:14 AM
Besides the fact that the whole movie belongs in the Extra Features section of my Criterion edition of Emmerich's Godzilla. Is that the main character was a douche and it made no sense why people followed him around. Except for maybe the camera man, which they tried to say was his best friend but didn't really do anything to show that. Otherwise it made for a decent 1:20min movie. Had it been 2 hours, would've been horrible.
Cloverfield = Ass on a stick
by ragermac
Apr 7th, 2008
08:20:18 AM
This is worst piece of shit movie EVER. That monster was a combination of every shitty CGI monster ever seen on screen, when you did see the shit. But what did you expect people, this shit movie was made by the same asshole to created Lost.
people who hate Cloverfield = low IQ
by dr sauch
Apr 7th, 2008
08:45:34 AM
People hate this movie because it forces you to think. Not everything is spelled out in ridiculous exposition like you retards are used to. I know, I know, you say you hate it because of acting. Well I submit that these kids were perfect for the movie precisely because they couldn't act. It made them more believable as self-obsessed Manhattanites, because thats not a far cry from who they really are.
Yeah, about the acting.
by FluffyUnbound
Apr 7th, 2008
09:08:32 AM
The acting really shouldn't be "Peter O'Toole and Richard Burton in 'Becket'" after all. Watch your own YouTube-style videos of your friends at a party. That's what it should be like. I have never caught anyone "emoting" on any digital clip I have made. Everyone either seems awkward and aware of the camera, or when they aren't aware of the camera you're detached from them so their emotions are obscure. Or someone is acting like an arch doofus who thinks he's really funny. And that's what the actors gave us - all of that. I thought the acting was actually pretty aptly directed.
Ah, what could have been...
by Bones
Apr 7th, 2008
09:20:06 AM
I love the whole concept of a giant monster movie told from the perspective of the little people in the background. I love the idea of a movie that is really a sweet love story disguised as a big action/adventure/horror film. I love the entire concept of a movie supposedly made of found footage...but this movie left me cold.

LOGIC, at some point, must be applied to a movie in order for it to work.

If this had been made as a faux Documentary, using various people's perspectives, arranged as a REALISTIC Governmental briefing, with missing sections of the story due to changing batteries, or have multiple footage that cross over each other...or something. At least in a real briefing, there would have been a coda showing the path of the monster, who lived and who died, the tally of the dead...some kind of perspective.

OR, they could have dropped the whole "found footage" thing and just told a solid monster movie from this perspective, the story of normal people caught up in a tragic circumstance, like Miracle Mile or the European The Vanishing. This would have allowed for a slightly wider canvas of non-nauseating camera angles and a little more perspective RATHER than shoehorning everything to fit in front of the camera lens.

The only positive thing I can say about Cloverfield is that people actually die in it, even if they are doing superhuman things like not bleeding out after being impaled or swelling up and exploding the BEST CHARACTER IN THE F**KING MOVIE without so much as an explanation. Unlike the execrable SIGNS that some people are comparing it to in their disappointment, at least the yuppies aren't Jesused at the end (not counting the ridiculous moments after the helicopter crash, when the film SHOULD have ended...with the coda that the camera was found in one of the monsters "droppings"). At least they died, which is what would have happened when unprepared people try to take on a situation they are not prepared for.

I don't need to always know why things happen in a movie, but I do need to feel like the filmmakers know what is happening, and I never got that feeling from this movie.

sequels bettering the originals
by JamesT
Apr 7th, 2008
09:43:05 AM
I tend to agree with most of the observations on this topic. But one must admit, that it is highly debatable if Breakin' 2 : Electric Boogaloo is better than its predecessor.
breakin' 2
by saddael
Apr 7th, 2008
09:47:02 AM
i must see that film
Not the best but still not shit
by CaptainBass
Apr 7th, 2008
10:04:40 AM
Okay so the characters were unlikeable yuppies that were hard to like, but here's the thing - twats like that actually exist! It doesn't matter if you care or not about them. If something like this actually happened in reality and the army found the camera, caring about the people in the video wouldn't be an issue. I think that's why J.J wasn't too bothered about having deep characterization (though he could've cut half the party crap out). Also, can't figure out why people are dissing the CGI! I thought it was excellent, even if the monster wasn't as cool as it could have been (though who really knows what the hell something like that would have looked like? It still pisses all over the stuff in I AM LEGEND which just sucked balls!) but some scenes like the climbing over the skyscraper roof bit looked excellent IMHO. Sure, it's not the perfect movie, and yes, it does have faults - the eternal battery power of the indestructable camera, Beth not being dead when they find her, the suddenly silent approach of the monster in the park, Hud's lame attempts at humour, surviving the helicopter crash etc. but I think it's still a million miles better than any other giant monster movie I've ever seen. And that includes all the old Japanese Godzilla type movies which are only good in a kitsch way. I didn't find it scary at all but I'm never scared by movies! Don't expect substance that obviously isn't going to there and you should enjoy the movie! FUCK THE HATERS RIGHT UP THEIR ASSES AND ALL OTHER ORIFICES! P.S Hellraiser? Scary? No. Hilariously bad? Yes! The Cenobites looked cool if sexually deviant but that movie is more of a comedy than a horror! Bad script, bad acting (even Andrew Robinson), bad FX. Just bad all round. Seems like none of Clive Barker's books transfer to screen well for some reason...
Hey WeinerPenis
by Jawa 007
Apr 7th, 2008
10:07:47 AM
You should drink a glass of warm milk.
The ending in this movie
by Series7
Apr 7th, 2008
10:23:13 AM
Is how AVPR should have ended. Also the whole movie have only taken up like 2/3's of the screen and had a related videos bar right next to it. I mean I thought it was good and well done and all just the promotional hype behind it made everyone think and feel like it was going to be SO much more. Personally I am getting really tired with all the viral advertizing for movies. Not in the fact that I don't like it, but in how everyone wants to be real vauge and mysterious about it. Just fucking come out and tell us where your shit is and weather or not certain sites are really with the film. If not before hand at least like a week before it comes out. So us geeks who don't have time to surf the entire web every day looking for shit can check it out.

As for tme2nsb I personally enjoyed Cloverfield, but I can see why people would hate it. Mainly because it was almost more of an experiment rather then a movie (i mean I kept looking for the the ticker to see what else was happening in the world). But as far as TMN being worse then Cloverfield I say you are wrong. I really can't understand why people didn't like this movie more? I mean the fight scene between Ralph and Leo was so awesome and cooler looking then a majority of 300. I guess people thought that going to CGI instead of live action was a step back for the Turtles? I don't know? And it was a perfect Turtles movie, it didn't rape your found childhood memories like Transformers.

Who would win in a filming giant monster fight?
by Series7
Apr 7th, 2008
10:31:42 AM
Victor 'Animal' Palotti or Hudson 'Hud' Platt?
THE HOST Dominates Cloverfield
by wilsonfisk89
Apr 7th, 2008
10:43:09 AM
Thoughtful, vibrant, with great action, effects, perfect tone... Great Film.
hellraiser
by saddael
Apr 7th, 2008
11:30:04 AM
don't slag off hellraiser, that movies sex scene got me through a hard adolescence( honk!)
The trick to watching "Cloverfield"...
by JERRY HORROR
Apr 7th, 2008
11:37:08 AM
You have to see it on a decent sized screen in the dark. But, first get really, really, really fucked up. No,no. Not drinking. You need drugs. You need hallucinogens, not 3-D glasses. Then Cloverfield is pretty impressive and scary. I saw The Blair Witch the same way and I am still afraid of the woods.
Oh and don't be a pussy...
by JERRY HORROR
Apr 7th, 2008
11:39:41 AM
..and tell me that if you need drugs to see a movie, it's a crappy movie. Yes, you are right. It's the creator's fault they weren't fucked up enough when they dreamt this whole mess up!
Walked out of...
by brokemart
Apr 7th, 2008
12:27:55 PM
BUT...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 7th, 2008
12:30:12 PM
...I do agree completely that this film was best seen in the theater. I completely enjoyed the experience and love the fact that the bootleg I picked up is done to look like a 'found footage' package. I tell ya, the modern bootlegger really knows how to get me!
And oh yeah...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 7th, 2008
12:31:58 PM
This was SO worse than 'I Know Who Killed Me.' Good call, goober...
Damn it...again...Walked out of...
by brokemart
Apr 7th, 2008
12:32:36 PM
"Bolero". I don't think I need to explain why. I also enjoyed watching a lot of dudes walk out of "The Crying Game" when the supposed babe revealed his manliness. I wanted to walk out because that movie was one of the most boring POS I've ever seen, but I stuck with it (which was the wrong choice).
Just a logic question for the haters...
by Darth Macchio
Apr 7th, 2008
01:43:04 PM
"...they're a bunch of rich people..."

Ok. But the purpose of the surprise party was for the main character and his new job in Japan. A job he wouldn't need if he was rich. With a girl he "might be in love with" and theoretically wouldn't leave if he were rich. A family, a brother, etc, in the states...and he's moving basically to the other side of the planet, but he's rich? Meaning he doesn't have to work? I don't know....that logic doesn't make sense to me...perhaps I'm missing something? I wouldn't have thought that negative reaction to this movie would be remotely a class issue but is it actually possible? Class-ism? Really? That's why some of you don't like the movie?

classism
by saddael
Apr 7th, 2008
02:10:53 PM
I didn't get the impression it was classism, as much as envy for thrusting young go getter types
although..
by saddael
Apr 7th, 2008
02:14:15 PM
i do love the old class war magazine, you know, the one that said the queen was actually a hideous egg shaped mutant and 'elizabeth' is actually impersonating her cousin...
If you work at Subway the guy who works in Japan is rich.
by FluffyUnbound
Apr 7th, 2008
02:31:56 PM
That's pretty much it right there.
Walked Out Of Transformers
by Nosferatu Man
Apr 7th, 2008
02:55:45 PM
Never looked back...
transformers
by saddael
Apr 7th, 2008
03:09:43 PM
it wasn't that bad (and i know i'll be universally panned for this). i loved the cartoon, and the uk comics(esp time wars), and when i heard it was bay time i was worried. but it wasn't that bad, although the action sequences were v confusing at some points. the funny thing is i acxtually enjoyed it more before optimus prime, ratchet et al turned up. still hopefully Wheeljack can rock into the sequel...
skywalkerfamily never did shit like this!
by travis-dane
Apr 7th, 2008
04:34:21 PM
Eat it gotham_night!!!
gotham_night
by travis-dane
Apr 7th, 2008
04:43:33 PM
Will be remembered for nothing. Poor skywalkerfamily.
i am.... confused
by saddael
Apr 7th, 2008
04:45:47 PM
travis dane
by saddael
Apr 7th, 2008
04:54:13 PM
only male dogs or...
People Disliked Cloverfield Because It Was Fucking Stupid
by LaserPants
Apr 7th, 2008
04:58:40 PM
Because the completely unlikable characters did things that NOBODY would or COULD do in real life - but it was supposed to be a "documentary". Because the death of the main character's brother barely registered emotionally on the guy, but the safety of some chick he fucked once, who was busy fucking someone else at the time, was more important to him. Because a one night stand = profound everlasting love. Because the Army guy told these completely ridiculous hipster trust fund kids that they could leave the compound on their own to save some chick their friend fucked once, and that they, that is the Army, would wait for them, just for them, with the helicopter! (I guess the Army believes in one-night-stand everlasting love above such trivialities as protecting civilians or fighting monsters). Because the characters plummeted 1000s of feet to the ground from said helicopter and LIVED! Not only that, but were in good enough shape to run! Because the indestructible camera that shot the whole thing apparently doesn't need batteries, or is magic. Because the monster (which looked totally stupid) ate it, and it was okay! It was just a really poorly done movie, utterly ridiculous, and completely unbelievable. You would either have to be very young (say 10 to 13) or totally retarded to think that this movie was "genius." I mean, come on now.

Again, as I have said before, the only way this could have worked was if the whole thing was done as if it were edited together from various sources -- news broadcasts, security cameras, cell phone cameras, personal cameras, etc. -- with no central characters. The event itself would be the main character. THAT would have been genius, THAT would have been groundbreaking. What we got was a really crap-ass Blair-Godzilla Project meets Friends embarrassment.

Still, admittedly, there were some fun set pieces. The first attack is really cool and scary. After that it gets progressively worse until the ending -- an ending in which most of the theatre erupted in derisive laughter.

The sad and somewhat ironic thing about all this being that the commercials, the viral campaign, was more interesting and fun experience than the movie, which was ultimately totally fucking ridiculous. Again, if you were 10 and loved it, or mentally retarded and loved it, I understand.
And Yes THE HOST Pwns CLOVERFIELD
by LaserPants
Apr 7th, 2008
05:00:35 PM
Looking for a genius giant monster movie that transcends the genre and elevates it to the status of art? See THE HOST.
It would have been a better movie if...
by mrfan
Apr 7th, 2008
05:00:41 PM
the army told them no. They argued with the army. The army shot them. The End.
How Long Was That Chick Pinned To The Floor Bleeding?
by LaserPants
Apr 7th, 2008
05:06:19 PM
Like, what, 10, 12 hours? And she wasn't dead? Or even in shock? Wtf?! D-U-M-B.
laserpants
by saddael
Apr 7th, 2008
05:08:04 PM
i think i fall some where in the middle. ididn't hate it, but iwas not particuarly enamoured of it either, primarily due to the stupidity of the characters. and the utter rubbishness of those litlle monsters. they looked rock hard but were laughably ineffectual in practice! is THE HOST really that good? imean i've seen some positive reviews but the box makes it look a bit shitty. Worth a rent or worth a buy?
girl pierced(ooh err) for 12 hours
by saddael
Apr 7th, 2008
05:10:22 PM
i liked the bit shortly after being rescued where she absolutely legged it up the bank, running as fast as hud
Definitely Worth A Rent, Saddael
by LaserPants
Apr 7th, 2008
05:13:10 PM
I rented it, totally loved it, and plan on buying it, I just haven't gotten around to it yet. I highly recommend it though.

Btw, I didn't really "hate" Cloverfield, I just thought it was monumentally stupid and WAAAAAY overhyped / overrated. I mean, like I said, it had some cool moments, it was just dumb and totally unbelievable. Basically, they had a decent and clever (if derivative) premise, but weren't smart or daring enough to take the premise to where it should have gone.
She couldn't have been impaled that long
by Gwai Lo
Apr 7th, 2008
05:15:29 PM
It was night when she left the party and it was night when they rescued her. It didn't turn into day until after the helicopter crash. She was impaled for like 3-4 hours tops, but probably less. And it would take a long time to bleed out from a shoulder wound if you didn't hit any major arteries. Not that I'm saying the movie isn't full of illogicalities, just pick your battles please guys.
little monsters
by saddael
Apr 7th, 2008
05:22:28 PM
lets be honest, they only managed to properly injure one girl in the group they attacked (despite presumably having night vision, the element of surprise and the 'ick ' factor on their side) so they probably got whupped by some stray dogs. and cherrs for the advice laserpants, i shall rent the host forthwith
Oh, Only Pinned To The Floor And Bleeding For 4 Hours
by LaserPants
Apr 7th, 2008
05:23:20 PM
Oh yeah, that happens all the time to 90 pound waif thin model types! They're surprisingly strong despite all medical evidence to the contrary. After being impaled by iron shafts, they can easily run at top speed and plummet 1000s of feet and be in tip top shape! Also, no matter how much they bleed, they don't go into shock. Oh, also, she could be in perfect shape to run at top speed. Dude, please. Did you check out her body? She was a rail thin model type. 90 pounds tops. She would easily have bled out in 3 or 4 hours. And, if by some miracle, she wasn't dead, she would have been near dead, and definitely would have to be carried, not be able to run like a track star. Look its okay to like the movie, just admit that it was profoundly stupid and totally unbelievable.
gotham_night liked Cloverfield
by travis-dane
Apr 7th, 2008
05:24:05 PM
But then again he likes skywalkerfamily too.
gotham_night sleeps with skywalkerfamily
by travis-dane
Apr 7th, 2008
05:27:23 PM
and his mom
I'm not saying subsequent events are realistic
by Gwai Lo
Apr 7th, 2008
05:31:27 PM
She would need medical attention and wouldn't be running around, I'm saying that the prognosis of you AICN doctors who seem to think she was pierced through the heart and lying there for 12 hours is wrong. For all we know she was there for like an hour. People have survived impalements through the face, the human body can take a surprising amount of punishment even if it is a 90 pound model body. It can take hours for the human body to bleed out if a major artery hasn't been pierced. Again, I'm not saying she should have been running around spry as a monkey afterwards, I'm just saying the survival itself is not improbable. And I'm not a Cloverfield fanboy, I give it 7/10 tops. An entertaining experiment with some legitimately cool sequences.
i see all the losers are here
by slkboxrman
Apr 7th, 2008
05:32:10 PM
hey losers !!! especially the multi-posting loves seeing his name over and over and over LASERPANTS.....this movie rocked and lots of people loved it...just cuz ur a virgin and dont have many friends u didnt understand the movie....most parties where friends are gettin bombed look like that especially when they have some shmo filming it....and if u actually had an actual relationship with a woman beyond jerking off on ur computer screen u would understand why he wanted to go save the girl....was the movie oscar worthy ? no, who cares ...it was spine tingling suspense and that made it worth it...i loved the monster and actually ordered the model....and to the douche that had to mention transformers....it was amazing and made me feel like a kid again, cant wait for 2....again ur just upset uz it dint suck and u have to be pissy about it...700mil worldwide says STFU.ok ? ok
THE HOST?!
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 7th, 2008
05:39:59 PM
The Host is a steaming pile of shit. You really have to be a pretty big douchgebag to talk shit about Cloverfield and say The Host is a quality movie. Yeah, the slacker loser moron video geek gets the job done--suuuure he does. And his sister just happens to be a World-class archer and she just happens to show up for this monster fest. The Host SUCKS ASSHOLES!!! And, by proxy so does ANYONE who says otherwise...
oh no...
by saddael
Apr 7th, 2008
05:42:01 PM
i hate it when people agree with you ,but make their point in such a way it undermines any credibility it had
"Army believes in one-night-stand everlasting love"
by 'Cholera's Ghost
Apr 7th, 2008
05:42:08 PM
The army wasn't waiting for them, he just told them when the last helicopter evac was, and to get back by that time or they were screwed. By the way, maybe I'm a hopeless romantic, but if you meet the right girl, are friends with her for a long time, and finally win her affections, then hell yes that could be love. I'm not arguing that there was nothing but complete realism here, but some are seeing problems where there really aren't.
I have not seen it either gotham_night...
by travis-dane
Apr 7th, 2008
05:42:49 PM

DAMN,all that shit for nothing....

Was nice spending some quality time with you gotham_night...

Laser Pants...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 7th, 2008
05:44:51 PM
Funny how you say things like 'she is a waif thin model type' about a chick that most of us who actually have a girlfriend didn't seem to think was anything special. Bitter much? And once again--THE HOST IS A SHITFEST! I only watched that pile of garbage on the recommendation of some of you dweebs on here. WHAT A REALITY CHECK! Surprise, surprise, it SUCKED ASS for the entire film. STUPID, POINTLESS, MEANDERING, UNREALISTIC, and JUST PLAIN SHITTY...
How dare people say bad things about Host
by 'Cholera's Ghost
Apr 7th, 2008
05:45:32 PM
By the way I don't suck assholes...but I'm curious about people who do--what do you do,get the girl in the shower and scrub her backside down for ten minutes with liberal amounts of industrial soap?
Well...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 7th, 2008
05:49:50 PM
...to be fair, I wouldn't recommend sucking anything you have to scrub down with industrial soap. Nor would I recommend wasting your time watching The Host. Unless of course you have a sleeping disorder and can't afford a set of stereo instructions to read...
'rimming' is the term
by saddael
Apr 7th, 2008
05:52:04 PM
and thanks to the anonymity afforded by the internet i can admit my ex girlfriend talked me into it once(after showers of course) to be the rimmer was fairly gross, to be the rimmee was just very ticklish.
i can't stress enough...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 7th, 2008
05:56:03 PM
...how horribly disappointed I and all of my friends were in The Host. I told them all of the same things i see being thrown about here; how it was supposed to be 'genre redifining' and how it was supposed to be 'the smartest monster movie of our time' and how it 'blah blah blah.' Well, 2 hours later, decades of movie reviewing credibility lay in ruins. Thanks for nothing and know that some of you goobers on here seem to know just as much about what makes for an entertaining movie as you probably do about the female anatomy. BA-ZING!!! And the flaming starts in 3...2...1...
I do agree, however...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 7th, 2008
05:56:44 PM
...that rimming is overrated! HA!!!
thank god
by saddael
Apr 7th, 2008
05:59:05 PM
i thought i was the only one
Damn gotham _night,why didnt you tell me earlier....
by travis-dane
Apr 7th, 2008
06:00:15 PM
that all that dirty talk gets you so hot!I liked it when your all worked up that way gotham,see ya later and dont forget your Ladyshave.Your asscrack is a little hairy lately....
Nothing wrong with licking your girlfriend's asshole.
by Gwai Lo
Apr 7th, 2008
06:03:25 PM
Helps to prepare her for a big cack.
Wait, which ending has the giant Voltron Lions?
by Puddleglum
Apr 7th, 2008
06:04:44 PM
Rimming is for beginners. Fisting is where it's at. At least it's the feeling that most people seem to have after watching Cloverfest.
voltron
by saddael
Apr 7th, 2008
06:11:21 PM
was it in the states only? or was it released in the uk a long time ago(ie pre early eighties) i had to google the friggin thing just to 'get' all the references to lions
Saddael
by Lance2769
Apr 7th, 2008
06:17:43 PM
Rent DON'T buy 'The Host'. If people thought 'Cloverfield' was over-rated, then you're in for a slap on the face with 'The Host'. Imagine watching 'Godzilla' with better special effects, mixed in with a 'Little Miss Sunshine' type plot, complete with all the cutesy one-liners. That's 'The Host' = a complete waste of time. Either do a serious monster movie or don't do one at all. Don't mix cutesy comedy in with it!! 'Cloverfield' was highly superb that that film. It was a more serious take on what it would be like if something foreign terrorized the city.
I Love How Defensive And Offended The Children Get
by LaserPants
Apr 7th, 2008
06:23:56 PM
when CLOVERFIELD is criticized. Seriously, over-identify with your entertainment choices much? It always becomes this overly-personal, emo-tastic, sad, desperate, and weird manifesto; they curse and insult, they sputter and weep and moan, when clearly, I'm right. All (or at least most) of the adults seem to agree with me.

But, look, I totally understand -- if I was 13, or a mentally retarded adult, I totally would have loved CLOVERFIELD too. BUT, being an adult, having had (and being in) several actual romantic relationships with real women, living a real life, experiencing actual pain and hardship, I can look at a monumentally stupid and unintentionally hilarious movie like CLOVERFIELD and, for lack of a better word, pwn it, tear it to shreads, and put it too bed (a bed of nails in this case).

But hey, look, I totally understand, I love all kinds of stupid movies too, you know, because they're stupid; I just have the ability to enjoy them in the sense that they are stupid or campy -- the whole "so bad its good" thing. Unfortunately, I think something like CLOVERFIELD falls into the realm of "so bad its just bad." But thats just me and pretty much everyone I know. Still, it did make alot of money, so clearly there are lots of 10-13 year old movie goers with disposable money and/or mentally retarded adults with free passes to the cineplex givin out by some charity organization or other.
RutgersJaffo, Wait, She Wasn't A Waif Thin Model Type?
by LaserPants
Apr 7th, 2008
06:33:09 PM
I dunno, I guess being a 90 pound bony little thing isn't waif thin anymore? Man, I guess I'm out of the loop. Whats the new waif style, like 50 pounds? Just bones and skin? Note that I didn't actually say I thought she was all that either. I was talking about her body type (which is the model ideal, or at least it was the last time I checked) and how the wounds she received, especially for someone with that tiny a frame, would have killed her. EASILY. Especially after sitting there, bleeding to death for like 12 hours. Pwned? Pwned.
Yeah, I Agree TomBodet
by LaserPants
Apr 7th, 2008
06:36:24 PM
I mean sure, it was passably entertaining, just really dumb. Then again, clearly I wasn't the target audience. 10-13, or 13-15 seems to be the target demographic.
OH SHIT! I DIDN"T THINK OF THAT!!!
by LaserPants
Apr 7th, 2008
06:41:06 PM
Perhaps she was actually... wait for it... PRINCESS ALURA, pilot of the Blue Lion?!?!? BADOIDOIOIOIOING!!!
Cloverfield Spoiler
by 'Cholera's Ghost
Apr 7th, 2008
06:47:26 PM
It's not a lion.
CLOVERFIELD SPOILER TWO
by LaserPants
Apr 7th, 2008
06:52:12 PM
No, its not a lion... ITS FIVE LIONS!!! FIVE ROBOT LIONS THAT COMBINE TO FORM VOLTRON DEFENDER OF THE UNIVERSE!!!
Wow...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 7th, 2008
06:55:06 PM
Now in addition to being a film expert, virgin, and over-all d-bag, LaserAss is also a doctor! Nevermind the fact that it has already pointed out to you that it was not 'like 12 hours' that she was there. And please, save your weak ass retorts about how defensive people get over your dumb ass posts. That is the last resort of a d-bag getting owned repeatedly for just plain being an ass. Now go rim it up, kid...
The music sucks guys.
by BohemianMac
Apr 7th, 2008
06:55:31 PM
Its a rip-off of ole' Akira Ifukube's work.
OH I DIDN'T MEAN "RIP-OFF"...
by BohemianMac
Apr 7th, 2008
07:04:52 PM
HOMAGE
Gee Wiz RutgersJackoff
by LaserPants
Apr 7th, 2008
07:14:16 PM
You REALLY liked this movie didn't you. Like a little too much? Like, "seek professional help" too much? Btw, I'm not a doctor, but my brother is an emergency room nurse, and he was the one who clued me in to that bit of retardation in your dear Cloverfield. Finally, you seem overly focused on sex. The way that ONLY obese middle aged virgins are. Rest assured, dear Rutgers, that I have not been a virgin since the tender age of 14 when I clumsily fucked my first girlfriend and came in like two seconds. Since then, I have honed my skills and have fucked, and even "made love" to many, many women. Most of whom I even brought to orgasm (unless they were lying). Some of whom I actually had feelings for. You should try it sometime. You know, without paying for it. And not with a man. Unless thats what you're into, and if that is the case, thats okay. Really. OH! Or even better! "Make love" to your CLOVERFIELD dvd! Have a nice day!
ALTERNATE ENDING SPOILER INSIDE...
by Err
Apr 7th, 2008
07:32:26 PM
An alternate ending reveals Michael Bay was holding the camera!
You know what was a pretty great monster flic?
by Johnno
Apr 7th, 2008
07:34:42 PM
An anime title called Patlabor WXIII. That had atmosphere, mystery and one crazy monster story too! Then again I don't think there were any titties or that many young women running around as main characters, just two old detectives... so i don't know whether many attention spans here could cope... Anyway I liked Cloverfield, I like things that try different stuff and cloverfield worked out alright for me.
Cloverfield 2: Allura's Rimming
by Puddleglum
Apr 7th, 2008
07:37:47 PM
You know it to be true
Cloverfield 2: Lancing Allura
by Puddleglum
Apr 7th, 2008
07:42:00 PM
Cloverfield 2: Allura's Blue Kitty Purrs
by Puddleglum
Apr 7th, 2008
07:42:39 PM
loudly
Cloverfield 2: Blue Lion Moan
by Puddleglum
Apr 7th, 2008
07:46:31 PM
Cloverfield 2: Giving Dark Knight a run for it's viral money
by Puddleglum
Apr 7th, 2008
07:49:15 PM
Cloverfield 2: Exploring Allura's Slusho
by Puddleglum
Apr 7th, 2008
07:49:35 PM
Cloverfield 2: Black Lion Down
by Puddleglum
Apr 7th, 2008
07:50:03 PM
Cloverfield 2: The Hunt For Red Lion
by Puddleglum
Apr 7th, 2008
07:50:19 PM
Cloverfield 2: Pidge has a beer, cheetz on wife
by Puddleglum
Apr 7th, 2008
07:51:14 PM
Laserpants - re: 90lb waif
by Puddleglum
Apr 7th, 2008
07:52:28 PM
But, is she the sexiest tomboy beanpole? That is the question?
Cloverfield 2: Raiders of Blue Lion's Ark
by Puddleglum
Apr 7th, 2008
07:53:00 PM
Cloverfield 2: Lost In New York
by Puddleglum
Apr 7th, 2008
07:55:21 PM
Cloverfield 2: The Thin Red Lion
by Puddleglum
Apr 7th, 2008
07:55:40 PM
Cloverfield 2: Voltron vs Thundercats
by Puddleglum
Apr 7th, 2008
07:56:10 PM
Hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o!
Cloverfield 2: Sigmund the Seamonster Returns
by Puddleglum
Apr 7th, 2008
07:56:43 PM
Fuck Krofft Supershow!
Cloverfield 2: Space Chimps Attack!
by Puddleglum
Apr 7th, 2008
07:58:19 PM
Cloverfield 2: Clover Harder
by Puddleglum
Apr 7th, 2008
07:59:10 PM
Cloverfield 2: Beverly Hills Monster
by Puddleglum
Apr 7th, 2008
07:59:42 PM
Cloverfield 2: 48 Hours of Destruction
by Puddleglum
Apr 7th, 2008
08:00:03 PM
Cloverfield 2: The LION, the Bitch, & The Robeast
by Puddleglum
Apr 7th, 2008
08:00:45 PM
Gutted.
by DukeDeMondo
Apr 7th, 2008
08:37:59 PM
The single most disappointing flick experience I've had in years and fuckin years. Lazy as hell, atrociously acted and written, obnoxious, insulting... As a Found Footage flick, this isn't fit to suck the sweat off the pubes of Cannibal Holocaust, Blair Witch, REC or even the fuckin St Francisville Experiment. It should've been Blair Witch meets The Host. Instead it's The Day After Tomorrow with shaky-cam. I'm glad it made money, for it might convince folks that halfways original blockbuster-budgeted ideas are to be supported. Mega-budget horror film presented as found footage - that is something i would dearly love to see done right. This was not for one second done "right". Everything about it reeked of Hollywood, not for a moment did it feel real - I was constantly aware that I was watchin the work of a professional camera operator, not of the character. It was insulting and crushingly stupid. A STUNNING marketing campaign mind you. And i did like the monster, but really, i had hoped the monster would've been the least of my Things That Blew My Mind about this. The one moment of genius was stolen from United 93. Aside from that, only the scene wherein the central characters are separated on the street by the army racin through the middle was in any way memorable or original. Absolute tripe pretending to be something anyways original. Enough folks were convinced that it WAS in any way smart or original, mind you, to mean that yeah, hopefully somethin worthwhile will be bankrolled on the back of it.
Wow! I didn't know Mr. Spock beamed in to save those two!
by MrMysteryGuest
Apr 7th, 2008
10:58:24 PM
And in the other ending: Iron Man blew up Cloverfield? Incredibl
by MrMysteryGuest
Apr 7th, 2008
11:01:33 PM
Ummm why doesn't
by Series7
Apr 7th, 2008
11:52:39 PM
AICN news have anything about this?

http://www.slashfilm.com/2008/ 04/06/uwe-boll-will-quit-makin g-movies-with-one-million-sign atures/

Try this for lazy's
by Series7
Apr 7th, 2008
11:53:20 PM
http://tinyurl.com/5mhgt7
The next time a monster attacks my town...
by Angry Bald Guy
Apr 8th, 2008
02:12:08 AM
I'm gonna kill my wife's cat before the family and I bolt. That way no one will do anything irrational like going back to save that stupid cat. Now the velvet Elvis painting...still thinking about that.
Reading my last post...
by Angry Bald Guy
Apr 8th, 2008
02:14:24 AM
I suppose killing the cat would seem an irrational thing to do when a monster comes calling. I should just do it now.
Stupid cat.
by Angry Bald Guy
Apr 8th, 2008
02:15:04 AM
Reads like a STARSHIP TROOPERS talkback...
by Roderich
Apr 8th, 2008
03:58:12 AM
As stated before the people in the Cloverfield-video are drunk and suffer extreme stress. The "hero" is not only drunk, but also lovesick and his brother dies, so it would be very unlikely in reality to not act unreasonably - like trying to save your love against common sense.

As to all the haters here in the talkback: It's like reading a Starship Troopers talkback. Some guys were smart and understood the movie, loving it of course, and many were, er, not, their stupid outcries about "logical" errors or bad acting missing the point exactly as in this very talkback.

fuckin cat
by saddael
Apr 8th, 2008
03:58:44 AM
i would not go back for my ex future brother in laws unrequited love , or my aquaintance's ex future brother in laws unrequited love, no matter how irrational a situation i was in. i mean, lizzy caplan didn't even know the girl. juding by that comment about not going back to save someone would make you a coward, surely everyone is obliged to go back and try to save everyone else. don't get me wrong, i thought the movie was alright, but the characters (Apart from robbbbb) didn't really behave realistically. And most people, when you get down to it, probablys are cowrds. i mean , look at how few people intervene in fights or other situations. So i think not intervening in giant monster attack is fair enough
starship troooopers
by saddael
Apr 8th, 2008
04:00:13 AM
And i liked starship troopers, but preffered the book
drunkards
by saddael
Apr 8th, 2008
04:06:58 AM
plus the whole they were drunk thing, surely there would be so much adrenaline pumped into yer system after the initial attack you'd sober up pretty sharpish? and apart from that guy in the ukraine who tried to fight a bear i don't think any amount of alcohol would encourage me to fight Rodan
I liked the movie, the acting was shit, but thats american movie
by ironic_name
Apr 8th, 2008
06:29:44 AM
thats american movies for ya
by ironic_name
Apr 8th, 2008
06:55:49 AM
I would go back...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 8th, 2008
07:29:23 AM
...to save LaserDong. After all, Fleet Week is coming soon and those sailors are gonna need lovins.
LATE TO THE DEBATE
by lecter1914
Apr 8th, 2008
09:07:28 AM
But I just ahve to say...Cloverfield could have been good but it just had way to many groaner moments. The theatre I was with, including myself, every five minutes was just groaning because of not only the stupid actions of the characters, but overall geographic implausibilites. You could spend hours nitpicking all of the technical wrongs like the whole statue of Liberty being on the southwest side of town which makes the whole head thing really retarded and the whole no 6 train in the area they were in and no cell phone reception in train stations where Robb is carrying on with his mother. I think the whole train sequence had the audience laughing, booing, and groaning all at once it was so bad. It was like the film was written by someone who didnt even live in NYC.It was just little things like that that really made the movie kinda unwatchable, especially if youre in NYC.
THAT I can uderstand anyway...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 8th, 2008
09:36:27 AM
It can be tough to watch a movie that claims to happen somewhere you live and have to look past the liberties which must be taken in order to make it work. I would like to think that things like that fall under 'suspension of disbelief' but I can understand them really sticking with 'the locals'. At any rate, at least someone who didn't care for it has more than 'I didn't like the people' or 'I didn't see the monster enough' to offer...
THanks
by lecter1914
Apr 8th, 2008
09:54:47 AM
Its not that I wanted to go in and just hate the movie, but it was just one too many things that I felt were unrealistic and things that were factually impossible that it just made the whole thing kinda hard to swallow. Moriarty said it best when he said the movie already ask you to suspend disbelief by asking you to accept a giant monster attacking the city, but then it keeps asking you to suspend your disbelief on something that is supposed to feel realistic but is anything but. My patience was wearing thin when they tell the military that they have to leave to go rescue Beth and the officers let them leave, but when they actually made their way from one damaged skyscraper to another toppled over skyscraper...I was done after that. I officially moved into not liking it territory. PS, I didnt hate the characters or dislike them because they seemed like typical new yorkers to me...I just kinda didnt care.
Lyon is a very large town.
by bobjustbob
Apr 8th, 2008
10:05:28 AM
However, I wouldn't call it huge. Just a thought.
I was IN STARSHIP TROOPERS
by tme2nsb
Apr 8th, 2008
10:33:43 AM
And I thought it was SHIT
ALSO, Read my LAST POST
by tme2nsb
Apr 8th, 2008
10:34:18 AM
With crappier movies than Cloverfield that came out in 2007.
Drunken Bear Fighting!
by Puddleglum
Apr 8th, 2008
10:57:42 AM
Would have to be better than Space Chimps....but, that probably ain't sayin much.
so alternate endings...
by BigTexas42
Apr 8th, 2008
11:21:54 AM
are the new way to get us to buy the DVD's to medium-rare movies, eh?

Doesn't work quite as well when they are all over youtube before the DVD's are even out.

best dvd extra? the boobie yule log on beta house. now there's no reason not to have the tv on.

Holy shit people! Repeat after me...
by Darth Macchio
Apr 8th, 2008
11:49:17 AM
...all together now...

There's no accounting for taste!!!

Got it? Good!

Seriously...you hated it? Fine...it's pretty cool how you can feel that way and your eyeballs don't explode in a fountain of blood and viscous eye-goop because opinions are mostly non-lethal or at least non-eye-destroying. Some people love this movie and their brains didn't squirt out of their ears like silly-string at a birthday clown because having a different opinion isn't lethal...yet. However..all that said...it sure is fun watching you guys insist you're correct about something obviously subjective and how you apparently want to change each other's opinions. It's awesome possum!!!

Sickening movie -- could care less
by Jeditemple
Apr 8th, 2008
12:59:22 PM
Movie made me sick at the theater -- won't be watching it on DVD.
BUT...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 8th, 2008
02:08:26 PM
IF--and I'm just asking here--IF my brains DO in fact squirt out of my ears like silly string at a birthday party, would that validate my opinion?
seriously, why are so many people acting like they'd be
by vaudeville villain
Apr 8th, 2008
02:48:30 PM
SO brave in the face of a monster attack (and certain doom) that they'd go back, without hesitation, for their one-night stand/college buddy/sorta-kinda love... who's screwing some other dude anyway? to hell getting back to what family you have left, huh? all that matters is some girl who you were going to leave for japan anyway and who gave it up to you ONCE! what ever happened to 'bro's before ho's?'
Well...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 8th, 2008
03:09:29 PM
I once ran back into t a burning McDonald's for my McRib and Shamrock shake. I loved that sandwich...
rutgersjaffo, that's totally different...
by vaudeville villain
Apr 8th, 2008
03:20:36 PM
you'd be a damned FOOL not to go back after a McRib. hell, they're only available for a limited time!
Would see this movie again for... *SPOIL**
by Zeegloo
Apr 8th, 2008
06:16:26 PM
The stomach burst scene. Holy shit, that was terrific!!
This is the part...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 8th, 2008
08:09:16 PM
...where Laser Pants gets on the board and reminds us all how terrible the McRib is and how unrealistic it is to believe that it's actually ribs. Mmmm...unattainable sammich...gaahhhh....
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