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First
by Underoos Hero
Apr 4th, 2008
08:49:20 AM
Can they CGI out Shia?
by Underoos Hero
Apr 4th, 2008
08:50:35 AM
Cool video
by Leopold Scotch
Apr 4th, 2008
08:53:30 AM
Didn't like transformers. I agreed with Vern's review.
Fuck Transformers!
by sfgeek
Apr 4th, 2008
08:54:46 AM
I hate this fucking movie and Bay and I wish that they would just stop...now and put this franchise out of its misery!
but...it's bay.
by zom-bot.com
Apr 4th, 2008
08:55:25 AM
how can we get excited about this if it's the same folks giving us the more of the same thing that disappointed so hard?
So what?!
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 4th, 2008
08:55:36 AM
Nothing will get the ass-like taste of the first one out of my mouth. Michael Bay took my childhood to the movies and did bad things to him. Screw this movie--I wouldn't see it if it were free and I got a hand job from Jessica Biel just for showing up...
are we gonna get Arcee and Hotrod?
by Datascream
Apr 4th, 2008
08:56:36 AM
oh the suspense. Thank you Micheal Bay!
One thing...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 4th, 2008
08:58:21 AM
...would make this watchable: OMEGA SUPREME V. DESTRUCTOR!!!
And can they CGI out the last Transformers movie?
by Underoos Hero
Apr 4th, 2008
08:59:29 AM
That would be totaly rad!
"Disappointment"? "Out of it's misery"?
by critch
Apr 4th, 2008
09:00:03 AM
"Disappointment"? "Out of it's misery"?
by critch
Apr 4th, 2008
09:04:14 AM
Get over it. Transformers was fun, an excellent update to a glorified toy commercial, and judging by the grosses (700 million worldwide) most people enjoyed it. I feel sorry for you that you didn't. Go watch your art flicks and leave the rest of us alone.
Will it still be a flaming mess of tin foil?
by GibsonUSA
Apr 4th, 2008
09:04:48 AM
Or will they make SOME effort to make the bots look like Transformers? Just SOME.
Looks like more military guys
by godzillasushi
Apr 4th, 2008
09:05:06 AM
They sort of removed me the first time. "We're super cool robots from space. But we can't fight on our own, we need help from the military."
Diaperservicetruckitcons Cant wait
by Knobules
Apr 4th, 2008
09:06:39 AM
Love the part about "Michael Bay wrote the script" Thats funny, crayons and paint by numbers for 3 years olds doesnt equal a script Mikey.
Re: Transformers was fun, an excellent update...
by GibsonUSA
Apr 4th, 2008
09:07:37 AM
Please elaborate.

Even if it wasnt Transformers, it kind of sucked. The lame jokes and goofiness ruined it. WHy would you feel sorry for us that didnt enjoy it? I love popcorn movies. I enjoyed the first Spiderman. I enjoyed the first Bad Boys...a lot! This sucked.
One of THe Worst Movies EVER
by BilboRing
Apr 4th, 2008
09:09:01 AM
I swear Transformers was a pile a crap. I truly hated it. Really bad movie. I'd like to lubricate on Bay's head.
Bay should at least realize that most of the negative
by BRUTICUS
Apr 4th, 2008
09:10:49 AM
comments toward his previous transformers effort was its departure from the source material that people remember. The memories that justified the movie in the first place.

Glad Devestator will be in it. He is a much loved character. Hopefully Soundwave will be included and EJECTS THE TAPES FROM HIS CHEST! Well they dont have to be tapes, they can be some kind of cybertronian information storage rectangle.

Give us Dinobots
by tme2nsb
Apr 4th, 2008
09:10:50 AM
Or Grimlock be am mad!
Yeah, will a marine save the day again...?
by Chishu_Ryu
Apr 4th, 2008
09:11:08 AM
...with a well placed bullet to Devasator's nutsack? Admit it y'all, Mikey Bay PUNK'D the Transformers, and looks like he's out for more. verdict: TRANSFORMERS 1 = INANE STUPIDITY, TRANSFORMERS 2 = MORE INANE STUPIDITY, MICHAEL BAY < ROLAND EMMERICH...
You just reminded me of the Bumblebee pee joke.
by GibsonUSA
Apr 4th, 2008
09:12:15 AM
Uggggggh.

The plants/undercover advertisers should be gone (they'll be back) from this TB for now, but no doubt a few people will come in claiming that we're bitching cause we wanted it "exactly like the cartoon"....when in the UNIVERSE did anyone say that? I dont want it to be exactly like the cartoon...you prob dont...nobody does. What we wanted it to be was GOOD, and reasonably respectful to franchise traditions of over twenty yrs. Thats all.

Cease the upcoming claims anyone wants it exactly like the cartoon.
check out the teaser poster
by Vern
Apr 4th, 2008
09:13:55 AM
http://www.geocities.com/outla wvern/APRIL/VernBlog.html

Scroll down to second story.

Everyone will see this
by Zoinks
Apr 4th, 2008
09:14:25 AM
no matter what. Just like everyone saw the first one. You will like it, because you like giant robots punching each other really hard. This is like the next generation of Godzilla movies. The humans in it are lame, but just wait it out and you'll see some cool ass destruction. KaBOOOOM!!!
Shia in Indiana....
by Underoos Hero
Apr 4th, 2008
09:14:29 AM
I really really hope that Shia's presence in the new Jones flick does not distract me from the movie. The mere sight of this kid on screen makes my asshole pucker to the point of crushing rocks. Transformers was the suck and Shia is the suck. Suck = suck and the word suck = funny.
There is no way sam could get into Princeton
by erichaislar
Apr 4th, 2008
09:15:23 AM
I know we have giant fucking robots but come on....let's keep some things grounded in reality.
the look of the fan art at the link
by zom-bot.com
Apr 4th, 2008
09:16:54 AM
is really all we wanted to see in the first one. you could literally keep all the stupidity of the first one, but if the robots actually looked like 99% of the world's idea of what a robot looks like, instead of what a pepsi can looks like when it's gone through a shredder, i think we'd have actually dealt with the first bayformers.
Paging Memories-Of-Murder...
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Apr 4th, 2008
09:17:14 AM
...Memories-Of-Murder you have a telephone call...
Woo-hoo!
by Knuckleduster
Apr 4th, 2008
09:18:01 AM
Bring that shit on, I say. One step closer to a Dinobot movie. One step closer to a Robotech movie.
Vern
by Zoinks
Apr 4th, 2008
09:18:09 AM
that link went nowhere. why?
EFF this movie
by FuryofthefilmFan
Apr 4th, 2008
09:18:33 AM
And anybody else who says its "great" or "the best". If you're excited about this movie you'd also probably be excited at seing a toilet flush. Devastator will probably slip on some water or something and land on his robot ass then say something quirky so all you dumbasses will eat it up. Or maybe this time bublebee will fart cuz we all know as seen in Idiocracy that many of you brain deads love farts.
RE: Get over it
by godzillasushi
Apr 4th, 2008
09:20:38 AM
And you know what? You shouldn't feel sorry for me not liking that movie. You should be thanking all of us for even paying to see the first one and getting another sequel made. There wouldn't be Transformers if we didn't care about the property. I'm sorry you fail to see that the fans gave you a "fun" flick to watch. We have every right to be dissapointed when we practically grew up on it and stuck with it long enough to get any sort of movie made. Where are all the elderly robots at?
Fart. Lol
by Zoinks
Apr 4th, 2008
09:21:06 AM
heheheheheheheheeheheehehehehe . funny.
transformers are modular
by zom-bot.com
Apr 4th, 2008
09:21:41 AM
be it the toy or the cartoon- the robot design was excellent. the chunky look of the bots actually utilizing true parts of the vehicles, and how the parts would move or shift- was brilliant. it worked. all important mechanisms were self contained and armored.

then bay gives us robots that look like they've already exploded, and all the fragile parts are exposed and in extreme detail. it's literally the robot version of the horrid schumacher batmobile. i'm surprised they didn't have neon lights inside.

TINO2
by photoboy
Apr 4th, 2008
09:22:18 AM
Hooray, Bay returns to vomit up another load of shit involving walking heaps of junk metal. Why can't we have a re-boot like The Incredible Hulk? Then they could jettison all of Bay's shitty "ideas" (no Michael Bay, those are special effects not ideas) and make something faithful to the original.
Re: "Everyone will see this"
by GibsonUSA
Apr 4th, 2008
09:23:27 AM
I dunno. It depends. Even though I hated the robot designs and info leading up to the first one, I never denied I would go check it out, because its the return of the Transformers to the big screen. This time, however, I'm not so sure. And I'm not bluffing. If its more tin-foil madness I may skip it, or maybe watch it late in its run if I have one of those free movie passes. If its more of the same I dont see the motivation to go opening night, even when the promotional onslaught begins. The first was just too depressing.
one more step closer to
by Zoinks
Apr 4th, 2008
09:24:50 AM
Ass: The movie. Fart!
I only remember...
by kahootz
Apr 4th, 2008
09:24:52 AM
one transformer from the movie...Suckatron. My 7 year old wanted to leave before it ended. We have yet to see the ending. When I asked her if she wanted the dvd, she replied, "No, not really."
Will the black Autobot get wasted again?
by Chishu_Ryu
Apr 4th, 2008
09:25:40 AM
Poor Jazz! Even the African-American robots can't catch a break in the movies...
Gotta agree...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 4th, 2008
09:26:16 AM
...about the sucking. I so badly wanted the first one to be at least watchable, but it was a total and complete pile of crap. Will just get a bootleg of this one...
This Movie Blog Brought to You by Cheetos...
by Underoos Hero
Apr 4th, 2008
09:26:22 AM
Look in the tab on this page. "Cheetos Presents Vern's Cinematic Movie Blog."
Michael Bay's Next Movie Will Be.......
by Underoos Hero
Apr 4th, 2008
09:28:05 AM
INPSECTOR GADGET!! He just called and told me. Fitting.
Rifftrax made Transformers watchable
by INWOsuxRED
Apr 4th, 2008
09:28:39 AM
I'm waiting for Rifftrax to do TINO2 before I see it. The first movie was the sofa king.
There will be 'splosions!
by Zoinks
Apr 4th, 2008
09:30:14 AM
Seriously though, what if this movie turns out good? I can dream can't I?
So what if Chrysler sponsors this movie?
by GibsonUSA
Apr 4th, 2008
09:31:07 AM
Will all the Autobots magically turn into Dodges? Is that why they did the whole "scanning" ability thing?

How about a Coca-Cola machine bot this time around?
why not give people what they want?
by zom-bot.com
Apr 4th, 2008
09:32:53 AM
bay probably thought - i want to be DIFFERENT show them my merit. thr robots are not going to look like any robots ever before.

and that's admirable, but the results sucked.

why WOULDN'T you want to 1) give the 30 year old fanboys what they want, nostalgia wise, and 2) give the new generation of kids robot characters they can easily associate with, that make kick ass toys.

walmart is full of unsold transformer toys and variants right now because the toys -like the movie bots- look like tangled piles of shit. they don't look vaguely humanoid at all. how can anyone relate to that? yeah it did numbers, because everyone hoped it wouldn't suck. imagine how much more after theater money it would be making if it had really been something we could have sunk our teeth into. the new transformers cartoon - odd as it is- is 1200 times better than the movie.

Damn Explorer 7....Scratch that Cheetos thing.
by Underoos Hero
Apr 4th, 2008
09:33:41 AM
Im going back to that bad Clint Eastwood movie...Oh I mean Firefox.
Problem wasn't the look of the Transformers...
by Chishu_Ryu
Apr 4th, 2008
09:33:44 AM
...that wasn't bad for me. It's all the idiot choices the filmmakers (mainly Bay and Spielberg) made in executing the story. Why are the Autobots, whom we're trying to take seriously, running around like a bunch of freakin' keystone cops? How is Bumblebee, a giant badass robot from another planet, taken out with a few ropes and a helicopter? Why does Michael Bay insist on shoving the American Flag down our collective throats? Why is Michael Bay a friggin idiot? Why did Michael Bay take back his anti-HD-DVD/Paramount comments?
Mountain Dewbot Vs. Coca Colabot?
by Zoinks
Apr 4th, 2008
09:34:04 AM
I'm sold. Do it Michael Bay. We commands it.
Fartbot vs. The Suckbot
by Underoos Hero
Apr 4th, 2008
09:36:23 AM
Now that's retarded and funny. The word Tard = funny.
Peter Cullen...
by tvspace
Apr 4th, 2008
09:37:03 AM
... was the only thing that made Trans watchable. It was a horrible mistake letting Hugo Weaving take Frank Welker's role. Otherwise, we got a stupid kid, a hot babe, that guy from Vegas, and lots of bad storytelling. The CGI was impressive, though.
Hooooooo-boy, here we go again....
by DocPazuzu
Apr 4th, 2008
09:37:27 AM
Talkback gonna 'splode!!!
WHY NOT JUST GIVE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT?????
by GibsonUSA
Apr 4th, 2008
09:40:05 AM
zom-bot.com, your title deserves to be in caps.


WHY NOT...

- WHY NOT give a decent rendition of Optimus Prime, flat nosed truck, with facemask??

- WHY NOT make the characters relatively (not exactly) resemble their twenty yr. traditional counterparts??

-WHY NOT provide a backstory that comprises the elements and attributes and concepts of the long-standing series...i.e. the battle for resources, war machines vs. dock workers, imperialism vs. freedom??

-WHY NOT provide the robots with alternate modes and colors relatively (not exactly) resembling tradition??

Bottom line is...WHY NOT??? Do the flames and lips and tin foil transformations really bring in THAT much extra audience?? Why not be reasonably faithful.....WHY NOT????
Hate "Transformers," Love "Busted Tees" girl
by Beezbo
Apr 4th, 2008
09:41:19 AM
Humans in my robot movie
by Zoinks
Apr 4th, 2008
09:41:59 AM
Why the fuck is there 2 hours of unrelated human character backstory when all we want to see is giant robots? I wish the first movie was cut to just the half hour of bots we got. Fuck Jon Voit, fuck Shia, fuck Anthony Anderson and Josh Duhamel and all crappy humans in the original!!!!
Michael Bay is racist!
by santi01
Apr 4th, 2008
09:42:19 AM
Anyone notice the black guy Autobot is the one that is ripped apart by Megatron. I aint saying, just saying.
WHY NOT CGI SOME GREEN FART CLOUDS..
by Underoos Hero
Apr 4th, 2008
09:42:39 AM
...coming from the flaming Optimus out of his Prime exhaust. I'm sure ILM still has that cgi file saved from Episode 1.
Fuck You Michael Bay You Talentless Hack
by DamnMichaelBay
Apr 4th, 2008
09:45:23 AM
Fuck You Michael Bay You Talentless Hack Fuck You Michael Bay You Talentless Hack Fuck You Michael Bay You Talentless Hack
bay said he'd put out lots of dissinformation for pt 2
by ironic_name
Apr 4th, 2008
09:46:09 AM
Am sorry....isnt this movie called Transformers and not
by satman83
Apr 4th, 2008
09:46:56 AM
Stupid stereotypical humans...i mean the only people who liked the first Transformers film from bay were those who didnt grow up with the original cartoon. Lets face it, its going to be JUST like the first one... 1 1/2 hours of human crap followed by 30 minuets of transformers if were lucky even with that.
Wasn't the First TF movie enough disinformation?
by Underoos Hero
Apr 4th, 2008
09:47:58 AM
Don't care for the Transies, but Vern's april fools joke
by David Cloverfield
Apr 4th, 2008
09:48:48 AM
was funny as hell. That is all.
Criminals are hot!
by Zoinks
Apr 4th, 2008
09:48:52 AM
Fuck John Turturro!
In 20 years from now, everybody will love Bay's movie!
by DerLanghaarige
Apr 4th, 2008
09:48:56 AM
Why? Look at these crappy 80's movies that are now considered as classics! Compared to most of them, Bay's Transformers was a firework of high quality entertainment.
(And yes, I'm one of the people who really liked the movie and no, I don't wanna say that every movie from the 80's [or old movies in general] is crap. But in a world in which Monster Squad is considered as a great childhood classic, why shouldn't people look back at Transformers in 2028 and say "Y'know, the movies from 20 years ago were so much cooler than the crap today.")
The first movie had a commercial for the army
by Zoinks
Apr 4th, 2008
09:52:26 AM
slipped in between the commercials for Mountain Dew and Cheetos. Damn you Michael Bay!!!
Join the army and get whiped out within less than 5 minutes.
by DerLanghaarige
Apr 4th, 2008
09:54:56 AM
Then stay in the background, while a teenage civilian saves the world. Hooray for the USA!
a few more more thoughts before i get back to work.
by zom-bot.com
Apr 4th, 2008
09:59:33 AM
i wonder if the internet powered backlash of haters for Trans 1 has actually hurt Bay's ego, maybe made him change things a bit for #2, or if it just backs his convictions that we're all stupid and he's fresh and awesome and to go even more exxxxxtreme in the next one.

i didn't see transformers in theaters, i rented it on demand, and i fast forwarded through what seemed like 30 minutes of war room bullshit- yeah 30 mins even while FFWDing..wtf? i don't think i missed anything awesome, but you'll have to tell me. I can't imagine having to sit through that in the theater.

The Reason...
by BRUTICUS
Apr 4th, 2008
10:01:35 AM
Transformers would have been WAY better if the Autobots and Decepticons were crashed on earth buried under a volcano for 4 million years but WHY did Bay choose not to do that? To appeal to the wide audience. If they were only here for a couple thousand years. It does not conflict with the BIBLE in anyway. Bay thinks hes a bad ass but really hes just a bible thumper.
I watched Transformers again last night...
by El Mamerro
Apr 4th, 2008
10:02:51 AM
...and it fucking ruled. And yes, I grew up with a shit-ton of Transformers and watched the show religiously. WOOOO I'M A PLANT WOOOOOOO!!!

Suck it. Transformers rocked.
Bay was just trying to "hip up" TF...
by Le Chevalier Noir
Apr 4th, 2008
10:07:12 AM
... by inserting all that deviating shit -- to vie for the audience on a "higher" social ladder. You know, "Gossip Girl" ladder. B) ********** Luckily Sommers will be there to give us some immunization treatment before Farce & Summary Attempt II hits the theaters (love the epilogue bit -- that was Bay getting all artsy). *hand in face*
It's become obvious..
by malificus
Apr 4th, 2008
10:11:03 AM
..that the only people who liked the Transformers movie were people who watched the cartoon growing up and got little chubbies over seeing the live-action version of their geekdom. Colonol Gentleman states: "This movie warranted four straight up Action Man farts, and three stealth ones to boot!"
Monster Squad...
by rutgersjaffo
Apr 4th, 2008
10:11:38 AM
Liked it then....like it now.
Maybe I need to watch it again, but...
by O_Goncho
Apr 4th, 2008
10:12:03 AM
All I remember of the first Transformers is that instead of much actual Robot on Robot fighting most of the stuff on-screen was either Robots falling over as a result of off-screen Robot on Robot action or Robots smashing inanimate objects whilst running/shooting at off-screen Robots. The only decent moments I recall are where Optimus stabs one in the head, the sequence with Starscream and the Jets, and... no, that's it.
malificus and satman83
by El Mamerro
Apr 4th, 2008
10:17:16 AM
satman83: "i mean the only people who liked the first Transformers film from bay were those who didnt grow up with the original cartoon."

malificus: "It's become obvious that the only people who liked the Transformers movie were people who watched the cartoon growing up"

I dunno I think you guys should get together and decide who's right.
2TINO 2 FURIOUS
by random dude
Apr 4th, 2008
10:19:09 AM
I am right
by malificus
Apr 4th, 2008
10:26:13 AM
Because you see the posts from cheerleaders saying: "I hope they have Choadtron and Buttfucktron in it this time!" Either way the movie unquestionably sucked, I only watched it after seeing the pics of the hot chick and she somehow managed to be visually smoking hot but killed all boners every time she opened her mouth, and that's the actresses fault because I saw her on talk shows, again looking nova-hot and when she opned her mouth instant turtle action. Anyone that can sit there and continue to watch that piece of shit after "Baby come back!" HAS to be an old-school 'toon geek because I would have walked out of the theater at that point it was so goddamned stupid. As it was I turned the DVD off about 15 minutes later, only watched 30 minute chunks at a time after that and never did make it all the way to the end it sucked so thoroughly. I mean come on, when they had that 'intelligence briefing' and those MD drinking college freshmen were in there representing the 'best and brightest' I wanted to claw my eyes out. Indefensable SHIT, case closed.
Can't believe Transformers didn't win that Oscar.
by Knuckleduster
Apr 4th, 2008
10:26:42 AM
Whatever you might think of the movie, you have to admit the special effects were astonishing. That movie cost $150 million and it looked like they spent twice that (unlike Superman Returns that cost $200 million and looked like it cost half the amount). Seriously, I thought those robots were real, man. Then again, I was kinda high. But to give the Special Effects Oscar to The Golden Compass? That movie had a little girl riding a fuckin polar bear. I can take my niece to the zoo and see the same thing.
Whoopee. I can hardly contain myself.
by metaluna
Apr 4th, 2008
10:26:52 AM
In case you're dumb enough to miss it, that was sarcasm.
my favorite part in TF
by zom-bot.com
Apr 4th, 2008
10:29:40 AM
was when optimus was outside shia's window and they saw that dude drag a dead body out to the car, and...oh wait, that was disturbia. TF was horrible. i've already begun to transfer my brain's files to remove it from my head.
Well, glad to see that's settled.
by El Mamerro
Apr 4th, 2008
10:29:42 AM
Unfortunately the movie rules and I am always right. It's science.
The sequel will make a zillion dollars
by malificus
Apr 4th, 2008
10:31:52 AM
and will be every bit as sucktastic as the first one and people will still defend it. I didn't see anyone on these boards defending Star Wars Ep 1 based on the awesome effects, folks reamed it's ass and Transformers should be the same. It was godawful and Shia is obviously some producers nephew or something because he's the worst, an oily ferret or cockroach if you will.
What I never understood...
by RainJacket
Apr 4th, 2008
10:33:19 AM
... was Michael Bay's penchant for stupid, elementary-level jokes and hijinks he forces into his action vehicles. Fat guys playing Dance Dance Revolution? Eating a full plate of donuts, screaming "SHE MADE ME DO IT" and then needing to take a shit? You know, this is what you see in Disney live action television aimed at preteens. It can't be "Oh, well, just making a kids movie for kids" bullshit since he does the same kind of shit in his hard-R movies like Bad Boys and The Rock. I figure Mikey just likes this kind of goddamn juvenile garbage. And he fucking repeats himself over and over and over again. Christ. He still represents everything that is wrong with the current state of movie making, no guts and no glory, but plenty of cash and hookers to throw around at cocaine parties. It's like the 80's never died with these guys.
Pissing Robot
by Thylacine
Apr 4th, 2008
10:36:50 AM
Hack.
Blockbuster Talkback
by THE KNIGHT
Apr 4th, 2008
10:38:31 AM
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!
Sigh
by Daniel_Ackbar
Apr 4th, 2008
10:39:22 AM
Vern's funny and all. But forgive me if I don't take my cues from a guy who wrote a book about Steven Seagull. I liked Transformers. I dont really care for Michael Bay much. Hated BB 2, Armageddon and had to stop watching PH when a dog put its paw over its ear because a character was getting shouted at. Still liked TF though and loved it on IMAX. Cant wait for the sequel. Hope its good.
This thread will be endless by tonight. Fuck Trannysformers
by donwillymo
Apr 4th, 2008
10:42:20 AM
My friend is pretty much obsessed with Transformers
by David Cloverfield
Apr 4th, 2008
10:44:18 AM
and I don't get the appeal. I've seen the movie, even remember having some toys when I was a kid (Optimus Prime and Shocker or something like that) but that's it. I can't see what makes Transformers so great that every difference between version is controversial (or how could the movie make so much money). And I usually love giant robots. Am I missing something?
but... Devastator WAS in TRANSFORMERS
by skynetbauxi
Apr 4th, 2008
10:46:17 AM
the modified M1 Abrams tank clearly identifies himself as Devastator. sure, he was supposed to be Brawl (according to the writers), but it does say Devastator in the movie! so is this going to be another robot named Devastator in TRANSFORMERS 2? or are they going to resurrect the Devastator from the first film??
they need to add Cyclonus & The Sweeps in TF:2
by Boomers_Lips
Apr 4th, 2008
10:46:50 AM
or maybe Blur.
TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! T
by finky089
Apr 4th, 2008
10:51:00 AM
TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2! TINO2!1one
wonder about missing concept art.
by zom-bot.com
Apr 4th, 2008
10:51:39 AM
you can't completely blame Bay for all of transformer's horribleness. he just approved a bunch of junk and shot it.

you know at some stage there was a production artist that probably had some kick ass, updated-yet-classic robot designs that was immediately fired because they weren't exxxtreme enough or something. i'd love to see what didn't make the grade in this disaster.

Devastator. Ok, fine. But if he has a vagina face, will it matte
by finky089
Apr 4th, 2008
10:55:35 AM
coughMegatroncough
Devastator will kick ass...
by bentmywookie
Apr 4th, 2008
10:59:05 AM
... only if they slow down the sound of the transforming sound like they did on the cartoon. And my 7 and 9 year old daughters love the first one too. Except my 7-year old wanted me to draw her a Bumble Bee. D'OH!
Soundwave as an mp3 player
by finky089
Apr 4th, 2008
11:01:01 AM
Now, why the hell couldn't this have been done in the first movie?

http://tinyurl.com/3tbmdz

perhaps Bay and co. will get with the program for round 2?

zom-bot.com
by El Mamerro
Apr 4th, 2008
11:06:43 AM
Here's some insight into the concept design by Ben Procter:

http://tinyurl.com/397 fae

You can see in the very last page some sketches that were much more classic looking. Some people like those better, I think the finished product is much more unique.
Re: In 20 years from now, everybody will love Bay's movie!
by GibsonUSA
Apr 4th, 2008
11:14:58 AM
Are people in love with ID4? 98 Godzilla? Shallow CG elementary popcorn crap in theaters will never be fondly remembered.

The reason Transformers is remembered is a combination of the show, comics, and toys that built a universe that you dont give enough credit to.
I...EAT...YOUR...DONUTS!
by Osmosis Jones
Apr 4th, 2008
11:15:24 AM
I EAT THEM UP!
What are people doing?
by MJDeViant
Apr 4th, 2008
11:15:45 AM
Straight to DVD or Sci-fi channel, that's all it deserves. Let the actual fans of the first one (god help you) have their movie but don't clutter up my theater by taking over 10 screens for this garbage.
Cant Wait..
by LoLWut
Apr 4th, 2008
11:16:33 AM
I LOVE how you cunts rag on the man for making movies but truth be told no matter how much you cry about the suckage of this or that Bay film they make a shit ton of money. So by that point it doesnt matter what you have to say
Re: "
by GibsonUSA
Apr 4th, 2008
11:18:37 AM
Re: "Shut up this will make money!!", ETC.
by GibsonUSA
Apr 4th, 2008
11:20:20 AM
I never understood comments like this. How does Transformers making money (as we all knew it would/will) speak for its quality. Also, the people who say these lines speak as if Bay making money somehow enriches their lives in some way....I dont get it.
It does enrich my life.
by El Mamerro
Apr 4th, 2008
11:22:49 AM
Because it means Bay gets more money for more robots destroying more things. And that makes me happy.
"It'll be like EEYOWWRR! And then BWOOSH! With lotsa' KAPLOWWW
by YotzVonFrelnik
Apr 4th, 2008
11:24:05 AM
The usual formula for a Bay movie.
Love it, or hate it the movie was a HUGE HIT!..
by CeejayNightwing
Apr 4th, 2008
11:28:00 AM
and all you who claim that real fans wouldn't possibly like it were proved wrong because on fair reflection this movie drew yet another line down the fandom that is Transformers. Quite simply some fans actually hated this movie so much that they spent more time on boards like this inventing new ways to emphasize just how much they hate the fact it was being successful. On the other hand some fans actually experienced a revelation and realized that the cartoon they grew up with really wasn't feasible or as well developed as they thought when they were kids and welcomed the changes that saw the franchise jump from childhood fandom to world wide hit! What is it about the clunky robot toys with their ridiculous names, designs and incomprehensible so called disguise modes that made such a huge faction of kids from the 80's single out that era of Transformers as the the only way it should ever be is beyond me. I was an 80's Transformer fan, I had every episode of the first two seasons on VHS and the animated movie. But when i watched them recently on DVD they were STUPID AS HELL!! Yet these same fans claim the movie was so bad and this cartoon was so great? Are they even on the same planet as us with this kind of disjointed assessments? The cartoon had robots who leave their planets because of an energy crisis and 4 million years after crashing on Earth they resume fighting and on their home planet the crisis is still ongoing.. A 4 million year energy crisis?! The cartoon featured every kind of contrived way to represent the toys as some feasible robot like three Robots that combined to form one tiny camera, or a 25 foot leader of the Decepticons who turned into a small handgun and hoped whoever handled him had decent aim? It had joke after joke based on automobiles and vehicles of any kind, Spkie's dad was called "Sparkplug" for Christ-sake! I even saw an episode where a wheelchair bound kid called Chip, uses his home micro-computer to control n Autobot and make him fight three Decepticons! And if two season of this silly stuff wasn't bad enough on reflection, the animated movie which i loved when i was younger, simply can't explain its sudden need to wipe out every character representing the old toys so that it can feature the unexplained arrival and headlining of a whole bunch of new characters/toys including teenage robots and ONE FEMALE!? Literally this is "Smurf" social dynamics we're talking here! yet these die-hard fans maintain that this stuff is far superior to what Bay delivered. Well in the end of the day preference is down to the individual just as money speaks louder than words. In this case, Transformers never had a bigger payday at the box office than with Bay's film which notched up over $700 million worldwide in comparison to the Animated movie's £5 million. I thoroughly enjoyed Michael Bay's Transformer adaptation of the Toys, it captured the spirit of all that was good about the Transformers i watched as a kid yet delivered a much more conceivable story for both the casual viewer and the fan who doesn't have a narrow mind. (sorry die-hards but there is no way any nation in the world is going to let alien robots on their turf and not get involved in the fight week in week out like in the cartoon, you'd have to be so stupid to still swallow crap like that at your age) Eventually the 2nd movie will come and it will be met with the same die-hard, narrow-minded mentality about how they preferred the toys and no humans in the limelight etc but don't for one second believe because you die-hards can gather around to spill out your hate in forums such as these like a bunch of Wankers meeting up in a toilet to jerk off into the same toilet bowl. You will remain simply a bunch of Wankers who enjoy blowing your wad together while the rest of the world is happily moving on, enjoying such films as Bay's Transformers for what its worth and simply moving on. And YES, this exercise of constantly hating on Bay and his Transformer movie is simply MASTURBATION, it may make you feel good but it does not produce LIFE! ..Get a life!
FUCK Bayformers!!!1
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
11:28:13 AM
A pile of shit. Just some adolescent teen comedy with robots thrown in. Bay is a hack who does not deserve to make movie.
"If you're going to do something, do it well, or..."
by finky089
Apr 4th, 2008
11:28:42 AM
"...don't do it at all."

WHy does it seem people never take that into consideration?

1) A film making money at the BO does NOT make it a "good" quality film

2) Just because someone's only expectations for a film is that it show "robots detroying things" doesn't mean that meeting this expectation automatically makes it a "good" quality film. If that was all you wanted to see, why didn't you just go rent Robot Jox?

If someone's goign to make a movie based on a property that has a built-in audience due to its history and nostalgia for that history...then perhaps the moviemaker should try to incorporate as much of that history as possible???

And if you aren't going to do that, why bother? Because it makes money....I know.....(rolls eyes)

HUGE BOX OFFICE DOES NOT= GOOD FILM
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
11:30:02 AM
Wow, loads of people went to watch it. They only watched it because of how amazing the CGI was and nothing else. Bay makes crap movies, he is not a filmmaker...pure and simple. Transformers was a horrible movie and this will be too. Much worse I say.
Trans Fans DISGUST me
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
11:31:32 AM
I tried to make them understand the crapness of the movie but it seems that some fanboys will chew up any crap that's thrown at them....pure and simple
Meh.
by toxicbuddha
Apr 4th, 2008
11:31:38 AM
Considering how remarkably bad the first one turned out to be, pardon me for not giving a crap at this juncture. And reading that bloated casting list makes me think that once again there will be a whole mess of folks in this film that serve no purpose.
Bay defenders all suddenly become accountants
by GibsonUSA
Apr 4th, 2008
11:33:54 AM
"But it made money!"

What about looking at the film itself and defending IT? You're getting none of said money.
toxicbuddha....
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
11:34:24 AM
it's just a big comedy feast headed by Bay. Just characters in there to crack awful jokes. AAARGGGHHH I HATE BAY!!!!!
Gibsonusa HAHAHAH
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
11:35:27 AM
Those losers....all that money is going to the producers and Bay. Ha, how can you defend a filmmaker who makes SHIT FILMS but makes money. How do you defend that?
Will Spielberg do another video blog before this sequel?
by GibsonUSA
Apr 4th, 2008
11:37:39 AM
Talking about how he loves the old Transformers franchise? I wish he'd make it interactive this time. I have a few questions.
Another MAJOR Spoiler......
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
11:38:09 AM
It will suck.....hairy purple balls
Devastator is a wuss
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Apr 4th, 2008
11:40:30 AM
The Dinobots are going tear him a new one. Hear that Bay, put the Dinobots in the movie.
And just for the record..
by CeejayNightwing
Apr 4th, 2008
11:41:30 AM
I haven't met a single one of you Die-hards who can explain to me that with all you found hard to swallow in the live action Bay movie; you managed to eat up the bollocks in the animated flick. I'm Talking about after ten years of fighting on Earth as well as being stranded there for 4 million years, there was never any sign of another unique alien planet inhabited by robots. Yet in one movie, we get introduced by a Robot planet that eats other robot planets (that's two in the first 5 minutes) and then as they escape from Earth (with no help defending autobot city from any of the worlds nations except a little boy!) they crash land on a planet of junk inhabited by more robots (who watch Earth TV?) after flying for 5 minutes (that's three) and then crash on another planet ruled by more robots who judge and execute other robots (that's four)! FOUR robot planets withing spitting distance in one movie that were never discovered before in 4 million years? Along with make-it-up-as-you-go introduction of the Matrix of leadership, the sudden appearance of a whole new starring cast, ONE FEMALE ROBOT, a break-dancing robot and some twisted logic that defeating Unicon somehow equates to the Autobots suddenly winning the Cybertron war and claiming back the planet.. anyone preferring this drivel to Bay's Transformers deserves a permanent "Vacant" sign in the toilet while he performs his favorite past-time with the other Wankers!
The only good thing to come out of this piece of garbage..
by OBSD
Apr 4th, 2008
11:41:40 AM
Was when Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbet (from MST3K) made fun of it on Rifftrax. Funniest one they ever did.
Oh my goodness, just got another SPOILER....
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
11:42:19 AM
The movie will feature Bay's face getting kicked in by guys who actually know what a good film is.
more money does not equal more better
by zom-bot.com
Apr 4th, 2008
11:43:30 AM
like havehope said, huge box office does NOT indicate good film. every year we hear some summer blockbuster has topped last years blockbuster. the hype machine is so '1984' in this propaganda, we'd believe them if they told us choclate rations were up 20%....the point they never take into consideration is that humans are reproducing exponentially every year! every year there are more children, teens, and new adults going to movies. OF COURSE the records will grow every year. the sad thing is, most of these people do want to just go sit in a dark room and go numb and not have to think for 2 hours. and that's why transformers makes good money.

however i really do hear and feel a real change in this attitude. people are waiting for things to come out on DVD for the same price a month later than sit with other strangers to watch it when it comes out and feel cheated afterwards. all the box office blockbusters end up being talked about afterwards like the preverbial ugly fat girl that someone ashamedly fucked one drunken night. we are at a point where sequels are getting made merely because of box office for a first regardless of fanbase or critical acclaim, and i think we're almost at the tipping point where we may get a transformers 2 or 3 and nobody goes or cares.

Bay thinks he is cooler than us
by maroon
Apr 4th, 2008
11:43:54 AM
The biggest problem with the Transformers movie, was that Michael Bay and a few dozen others decided that they knew better than the millions of Transformer fans out there. Bay and his collaborators decided they were better qualified to construct a story using their own measure of what is cool and interesting. Which, in Bay's mind, as he is a protégé of Bruckheimer, is how do you make the most money. So, you get the accessible, but not perfect leading man, the hot chick, the heroic and handsome military guys, another hottie computer hacker, the funny talks to loud overweight hacker, the grandfatherly Jon Voight character (it just so happens it was Voight) and the nebbishy, clueless, government baddy. In addition to these two dimensional, focus group appealing characters, we also got a two dimensional story. Lets see, lets throw in some Armageddon (with the meteors), some vast techo/hacker crap (which would be any number of movies made in the last ten years), ET (the BumbleBee capture scene) and you could even throw Matrix Reloaded in there too (with the high way chase scene). The last thing Transformers was about . . .was Transformers. They were absolutely beside the point in that film. The movie very easily could have just been called Robots from Space. If Bay wants to make films that make money I wish he would just say so. Call me a huge geek, but these characters and this story, meant something to me as a kid and it is disappointing that it is raped and pillaged so ruthlessly. There is a great movie, even a great series of movies in Transformers. I would bet a huge some of money that a more talented committed filmmaker could make a better movie, with a smaller budget, that would make more money than Bay can. If Transformers had been good, I certainly would have seen it more than once. I would have bought the DVD, maybe even a piece of crap souvenir or two. But now, I promise I will not see the second one. Michael Bay doesn't care about this material and it shows.
Better Script than Bayformers in a two days?
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
11:44:19 AM
That's what some guy on the Transformers boards claimed that he did. Trying to find the link to it....
Maroon, nothing more to add....
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
11:47:05 AM
Hit it right on the nail. The sheep that call Bayformers good are fickle fans. True fans know that it is an AWFUL Transformers film and an even worse film. I know where to go for American Pie teen comedies.
zom-bot.com....
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
11:49:08 AM
I really hope that the sequels to Bay tripe lead to less people caring about it
CeejayNightwing, learn to use "

" so people can read your shi
by finky089

Apr 4th, 2008
11:49:22 AM
or don't because it's ridiculous.

"their ridiculous names, designs and incomprehensible so called disguise modes.."

The same could be said of Bay's movie.

AS for your diatribe above, if you look back at your episodes of transformers and think they're a bunch of garbage that you no longer appear to have any nostalgia for, then it's YOU I feel sorry for.

We all grow up, but I have no disdain for liking the "silly things" I enjoyed as a kid. Of course there are things like a guy named "Sparkplug" (which was obviously a nickname), but defending Bay's movie by picking apart things like Megatron transforming into "small" gun pointless and hypocritical. There were the same kind of inconsistencies in Bay's movie.

Bumblebee can scan anything with his headlights to change his shape? Why wouldn't they all be doing this shit all the time, then? One of the autobots "pees" oil?

Whatever, it's just funny to me that you complain about people in a MOVIE forum complaining about a movie, but then you go and...POST A BIG COMPLAINT on this site about complainers.

Link to a fan's script against Bayformers
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
11:52:41 AM
This guy apparently wrote this in two days in his anger of the movie and the writers being paid, given more time and producing absolute rubbish. Here's the link- http://www.dvxuser6.com/upload ed/11132/1205153146.zip
Never got the fascination with the Transformer movie
by TVguy4566
Apr 4th, 2008
11:52:50 AM
The TV show was cheesey and the toys usually broke in a could of weeks. I guess I never got the affection with the whole Transformers thing. I liked GI Joe better at the time and I have no emotional attachement to the new GI Joe movie coming out next year. I will probably see it, but I won't feel it raped my childhood if it sucks.

I thought the Transformer movie was ok, but it was just a loud dumb Michael Bay movie (are there any kind). I still think Michael Bay movies work best when he has actors who can carry his plot-less, stupid, action (like Nic Cage, Sean Connery, and Al Harris in the Rock; Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Tea Leoni, and Joey Pants in at least the first Bad Boys; and even Billy Bob Thornton and Bruce Willis in Armegeddon). Sorry, but I didn't think Shia LeBeof or Megan Fox are good enough to carry the stupid action. Let's face it Fox is to acting that Bay's movies are to film: Pretty to look at, but not a lot of depth.
CeejayNightwing
by GibsonUSA
Apr 4th, 2008
11:53:43 AM
1986 TF movie was badass. It was groundbreaking in terms of violence found in a cartoon, there weren't many like that back then. Yeah there were the usual issues that plagued the TV series, but it didn't have a Bay $150 mil budget either. The 1986 movie needs to be seen in context with the series/comics that led up to it, rather than standalone...the movie assumes you know the story/characters.

1. You really think Unicron ate 2 planets in literally 5 minutes? All your time lapse complaints are really reaching.

2. One female robot shown ON SCREEN. The Decepticons conquered Cybertron we dont know what happened to the ones from the series.

3. Break dancing robot? What was Jazz doing during his transforming in Bay's crap?

4. All your complaints are just being super picky and taking things out of context, unlike Bays movie where there is no context and its just standalone garbage. Compare your complaints to the stupid human story in Bay's movie, Autobots in the backyard, flames and lips on Optimus, those character designs, Bumblebee "peeing", Bumblebee speaking in song, the Sector 7 crap, the lame jokes, and the shaky cam...and you wanna make a comparison?
by zom-bot.com
by CeejayNightwing
Apr 4th, 2008
11:54:22 AM
Your rationale does not explain how Titanic managed to make $600 million domestically all the way back in 1997 when no film had even topped $400 million and still today 11 years later no film has managed $500 million let alone $600 million. Nor does your rationale explain how Titanic made $1.8 billion worldwide (that's nearly $2 billion) when no film had ever come close to topping at least $1 billion in its first run; and even 11 years after that mark, only two other films have ever managed to scrape and struggle past the 1$billion mark while Titanic sits close to $2 billion? Buts on seats equate to popularity regardless of your own personal feelings on a films worth. Films that are not popular do not make money. The Animated Transformers did not make money, the live action made tons, why? Because it was popular! Welcome to being in a minority, obviously the feeling is nothing like what you ever conceived it would be.
"The TV show was cheesey and the toys usually broke in weeks"
by GibsonUSA
Apr 4th, 2008
11:54:49 AM
You mean the stainless steel ones? What were you doing to them, throwing them under a van?
I WANT MY GAWD DAMN PRIME ON GAWD DAMN EVEREST.
by Shermdawg
Apr 4th, 2008
11:55:51 AM
That shot better be in this flick. It sucks they ditched it for the first one.
the old cartoons ARE silly in retrospect, BUT..
by zom-bot.com
Apr 4th, 2008
11:57:21 AM
there was alot of concept and soul and...shit..basic PREMISE in them that should have been carried over and COULD have been updated for today's audience without losing that original spirit.

but there wasn't any of that in bay's transformers. it's like the old transformers were put through a really shitty translation device...and the only things that comes out the same is a few flecks of paint color from the autobots.

i haven't seen that knock-off movie, TRANSMORPHERS, but i wouldn't doubt if it were better than bay's by this point.

Let the daming of Michael Bay begin!!
by Itto Ogami loses Daigoro
Apr 4th, 2008
11:58:14 AM
all over again...

Can there be any redemption for our beloved robots in disguise movie?

Re: The Animated Transformers did not make money
by GibsonUSA
Apr 4th, 2008
11:58:18 AM
The animated TF movie did not have a $150 budget with a massive campaign and dozens or promotional partners. Way to ignore the variables. TF was a cash cow for over 20 yrs. before the live action movie came out...the combined gross of the old format, the sustainability that led to the Bay crap....variables you ignore..
Vern's April Fool's blog...
by doctorfreudstein
Apr 4th, 2008
11:58:42 AM
...may very well be his masterpiece. The hysterical, on-the-money "T2" poster is just the tip of the iceberg. SHREK GOES FORTH? That's so spot-on it's painful. Most of the fake ads are worthy of a Dead Kennedy's album insert. Between Verizon/Whirlpool "cookin' up the hottest jamz" to "Quentin Tarantino Presents: Warrior Clan", I thought I was going to choke from laughter. "It is every person's dream to get paid for doing what they love, and it is my dear hope that doing this blog will still count as doing what I love." Genius. Bravo, Vern.
Will Bay ever film something like Titanic?
by AdrianVeidt
Apr 4th, 2008
11:59:34 AM
CeejayNightWing
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
12:00:25 PM
Soooooo,let's see now....by YOUR rationale 1) Spiderman 3is an AMAZING movie 2) Shrek 3 OWNED!!!..yep 3) Phantom Menace was AWESOME!!!! Yep....really GREAT movies....by your rationale.
titanic and ET
by zom-bot.com
Apr 4th, 2008
12:00:52 PM
are both flukes to the ever- growing box office theory. however i'd also say that both are far superior films with a much much much broader range of fans with attachment to them.
Those Bayformers Scribes are getting PAID LOADS to do the sequel
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
12:03:23 PM
HA! Those fools. Transformers was one of the worst things I had ever seen...dialogue-wise UGHHH
titanic and ET pt 2
by zom-bot.com
Apr 4th, 2008
12:03:44 PM
i also believe that both movies enjoyed extended stays in theaters, as well as in some places, a re-release around awards time..all of which go into that box office pot calculation.
by GibsonUSA
by CeejayNightwing
Apr 4th, 2008
12:05:04 PM
How was the 1986 movie groundbreaking with Violence when animated films like Heavy Metal (1981) depicted worse violence and sex! And as for Jazz breakdancing, that's exactly what i'm talking about, you die-hards complain about that yet wheelie did the same thing in the animated film and he'd never even set foot on earth! You and others like you are trying to tell me one level of contrivity is superior to another, yet rationally Bay's reason for Jazz assuming the "street" persona after downloading all information on the entire WW.Web on entry to Earth makes helluva lot more sense than some robot wh's never even heard of Earth before let alone watched Fresh Prince of Bel Air episode suddenly breaking into Def, Dope and completely whack break-dancing moves! Trust me, you guys are simply biased based on your inability to let go of your childhood and the more you get together and agree on crap like this, the worse and more narrow-minded you all look when other assess your complaints about Bay's Transformers in comparison to the various versions they made in cartoon and comic forms. Bay's film is certainly no worse than any of those and it most definitely is a whole lot better for a general audience.
U.S. Army are Stronger than Autobots
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
12:07:23 PM
FACT. Without the Army, Megatron would have killed Prime and owned the other Autobots. Simple as that.
Who needs Autobots when you have the ARMY????
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
12:08:34 PM
The Army really did not need much help from the bots. They could take down the Decepticons themselves.
So we think Bay TF sucks just because we're biased?
by GibsonUSA
Apr 4th, 2008
12:10:16 PM
..and that it is actually good? I should be appreciating the lame ass teen story and when Bumblebee pisses on an agent I should be loving every minute of it? I said it before, even if Bayformers WASNT called Transformers (which it shouldnt have), it still would be subpar. There really isnt anything good about it. At least with the 1986 movie you had the context of a 2 year lead in show.
Stainless steel Transformers?
by TVguy4566
Apr 4th, 2008
12:10:41 PM
I think you mean die-cast metal. Even so, they had little pieces would come off pretty quickly. This wasn't a matchbox car that didn't have anything that moved other than the wheels.
I don't care what it LOOKS like
by BizarroJerry
Apr 4th, 2008
12:12:09 PM
It's just a dumb throwaway movie. They chickened out in not taking up the challenge of basing the movie around the characters of the CGI robots.

Oh, and I don't think Jazz's death makes Bay a racist... but how about the hispanic guy who keeps getting yelled at for not speaking English? Or how about Bernie Mac's character telling everyone to say hello to his Mammy?

And who's idea was the damn "masturbation" conversation?? Ugh.

HA! The Masturbation scene....
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
12:14:01 PM
That must have been Bay's great idea.
TVguy4566
by GibsonUSA
Apr 4th, 2008
12:14:24 PM
Whatever. Those things were sturdy. I still have a bunch of them in a box somewhere. Compare to the plastic toys of today...will most of them last 20 yrs?
First time I've ever CRINGED in a Cinema
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
12:14:45 PM
Was watching Bayformers....
Brunomac, HAHAHAHA
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
12:17:55 PM
I watched the first two and let me say....I came CLOSE. Very close. But Bayformers is the only movie that I actually CRINGED and turned away from the screen.
havehope
by CeejayNightwing
Apr 4th, 2008
12:18:32 PM
Learn to read, not wank! I said "Butts on seats equals popularity" not "Great Film!" you irrational Jerk-off! Poularity does not equate to greatness! A film has to be outstanding in its achievements at very least on a technical level in order to be considered truly great. And technically Bay's Transformers makes a whole lot more sense than the animated making-it-up-as-they-go tv show did so YES, it's greater than your childhood wet dreams in the real world, but in your Matrix of Transformer cartoon dreams where all makes nonsense swallowed like an over-eager Fluffer, naturally Bay's Transformers doesn't hold a candle to the mighty animated film because you and everyone you know bought the VHS and the T-Shirt? ...hmm, unfortunately for you the rest of the world didn't share your opinion of that 90 minute NEW toyline commercial back in 1986. But they damn right did share mine in 2007 with Michael Bays movie which I, like you was all prepared to hate, but can't honestly say in true comparison would prefer to watch the animated over this far more feasible and entertaining live action presentation.
Jeff Albertson - hey anything can happen here
by finky089
Apr 4th, 2008
12:18:48 PM
Hey, chill out with Shia
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
12:19:04 PM
Ok, I admit....I hate him and he pissed me off in the movie. But you know, he looks like a nice guy. But he BETTER NOT RUIN INDY JONES!!!
Ceejaywing, 1986 MOVIE OWNS BAYFORMERS
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
12:21:27 PM
Bayformers had- NO PLOT, HORRIBLE CHARACTERS, AWFUL DIALOGUE THE 86 Movie- A Plot, Great Characters, Better Dialogue
shia shia shia.
by zom-bot.com
Apr 4th, 2008
12:23:55 PM
looking at him, i'd say he was a dope. hearing him talk in real life, seeing his mannerisms, watching his acting and timing,-i'd say he reminds me of alot of my friends. i think that's what everybody's secretly so jealous of. this nerdy kid comes out of nowhere and is in the series of movies most of you guys daydream about all day long. fuck, who wouldn't wanna hang with indiana?.

anyway, i'm not gonna jump on the shia hatewagon. sure he van get a whitefro, sure his name sounds like a gay footscrub creme, but i think the kid's alright.

Where are the hackers?
by KillDozer
Apr 4th, 2008
12:24:05 PM
The character list for the new movie has military guys, sassy black people, and sarcastic teen agers, but no hackers. Why would they stray from the formula that made the first movie such a success? Fuck Michael Bay.
Transformers sucked ass
by batzilla
Apr 4th, 2008
12:26:14 PM
and transformers 2 will as well. Bay can't make a good movie. I was embarrassed watching this movie. About half way through I was wanting to leave. What a shitty film that was.
FUCK the Hackers!!!!! and Bay
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
12:26:14 PM
They all suck. SPIELBERG, DAMN YOU!!! WHY OH WHY DID U GET BAY TO DIRECT THIS?????
CeejayNightwing
by finky089
Apr 4th, 2008
12:26:58 PM
"Bay's film is certainly no worse than any of those and it most definitely is a whole lot better for a general audience."

So, you're now saying Bay's film is okay because it was better for a general audience? Because the general movie-going public doesn't need dumbed-down, trendy shit? Making something more accessible for the general movie-going public doesn't make a film better. It is only done in hopes it will make more money.

You already agree that "more money doesn't = quality film", so explain why making a TF film "more accessible" for the general public makes it better?

WE HAVE A BRAIN IN THE HOUSE!!!!
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
12:30:11 PM
Ok, the general audience who don't really care about films passionately now dictate what makes a good film.... Most guys who went to watch Transformers, went there to watch the robots and not Megan Fox.
WHO FUCKING CARES??!!!???
by booth77
Apr 4th, 2008
12:31:27 PM
Transformers was BORING!!! Ugh, and someone please make Shia go away already.
havehope/finky089
by toxicbuddha
Apr 4th, 2008
12:33:39 PM
Anthony Anderson's character in the first flick set the whole Sassy Black Actor thing back like a century while contributing absolutely nothing to the plot. I have no clue what transgressions Bay will foist on us with the next iteration, but the sad part is something as awesomely cool as The Transformers should really almost write itself, when u think about it. Finks: church!
Oh, and hey Zom-Bot...
by booth77
Apr 4th, 2008
12:35:35 PM
Why don't you and your butt-buddy Shia go tag-team a go-bot.
I saw the first one once.
by Sprout
Apr 4th, 2008
12:36:13 PM
I've no intrest in seeing it again or it's sequel, I'd have to hear really good things off people before Michael Bay gets any more of my money.
So the conclusion is....
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
12:37:01 PM
Bay sucks.
What the helll...?
by Surround Sound
Apr 4th, 2008
12:39:39 PM
...was that movie clip about? How was this was spoiler material again?
sad empty feeling afterwards
by zom-bot.com
Apr 4th, 2008
12:40:36 PM
i can't get especially MAD about transformers. the teasers and previews did nothing for me but affirm it was another movie that 'got it wrong'. even when it cam out on demand, i had no plans to see it.

then i was home sick one night, and there was quite literally nothing on. and there it was, and i figured, wtf, let's see what the fuss is about. at the very worst, it will be so bad i can make fun of it.

but it wasn't. and i didn't. but i couldn't look away because the cuts and the overdetailed robots and the explosions must have glazed me over. i do remember ffwding the warroom shit, but really, nothing 'stuck' in my head. and as the credits rolled and i looked at the time, i realized that i had really lost hours of my lifetime with this thing. you ever get that feeling? like you totally missed out on 2 hours of ANYTHING else after a movie?

seriously, i immediately though that if i had vaccuumed the floor or done laundry, i would have accomplished more that night.

HA! The Masturbation scene....
by Boborci
Apr 4th, 2008
12:42:44 PM
by havehope Apr 4th, 2008 12:14:01 PM That must have been Bay's great idea. A: Nope. It was in the script. Guilty.
I WANT THOSE TWO HOURS BACK!!!!
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
12:43:20 PM
I am so serious, I want them back....
Masturbation Scene
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
12:44:17 PM
Bay is known to add stuff that isn't in the script.
Bay please listen to the talkback !!!!
by Faust_8
Apr 4th, 2008
12:47:08 PM
Don't make a cut every three seconds and how about some actions sequences where you can actually tell what the heck is going on. And maybe not have giant robots pee on people, or hide out in the back yard as a stupid attempt at humor. And here's a HUGE hint, leave the stupid people out of the movie.
Starblazers or Voltron next
by Faust_8
Apr 4th, 2008
12:50:09 PM
or maybe someone from Force Five
THINK before you DIRECT, Mr. Bay
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
12:51:03 PM
Just chill out, try and flesh out a scene. Try and build the story, don't rush things...take it easy.
Oh Dear
by Daniel_Ackbar
Apr 4th, 2008
12:52:08 PM
According to wikipedia:"Reviews of the film were generally favorable. Review aggregate website Rotten Tomatoes reported that 57% of critics gave the film positive write-ups, based on 199 reviews, with a 68% rating from selected "notable" critics. At the website Metacritic, which assigns its own subjective rating out of 100 to each review, the film has received an average score of 61, based on 35 reviews." Roger Ebert:" It's goofy fun with a lot of stuff that blows up real good, and it has the grace not only to realize how preposterous it is, but to make that into an asset." BBC:" It's outrageous, stupid fun and you should see it on the biggest screen you can find." I guess people will post up negative reviews, of which there are many. Usually by people too old to care or too young to remember the original TF. It is bizarre to read all these people on talkback ranting on about the integrity of TF and how great the original was. It’s like saying the original Batman and Superman comics were so amazing and credible and edgy so they should be adapted like Sin City. I’m not comparing TF to those characters I’m just saying that if you look at the old cartoons on youtube- they look like ass. The animated film has aged better (probably because it was a bit more intense) but isnt great. I always went with the comics anyway and I've read some of the old UK ones recently and wished I hadn’t. I liked Transformers when I was a kid and sat through fucking Wacaday just to watch about three minutes of an episode. At least Moriarity had the class to admit that Bay had done a good job- and Moriarity review of Pearl Harbour was scathing (and the one of the best I’ve read on here). You guys will sit and wank all day over Star Wars but they really arent great- is anyone here gonna defend the Ewoks, the rubbish editing, the awful scripts, the stilted line readings in the original trilogy. I bet shitloads here loved King Kong and that was one of the most boring films Ive seen in a long while. The best review of TF was on here- one guy said it was like watching of his favourite Saturday morning cartoons come to life. All it needed was some beer, and GI JOE on after.
Are you people insane?
by kafka07
Apr 4th, 2008
12:55:31 PM
You're talking about movies at a time like this, when some country has made a Transformer! We need to bomb them, like right NOW. Oh and that Automated Defense Initiative is a rip-off from Terminator btw. And I can't wait to see Devastator in action. Oh yeah, and bomb them now!
I can predict the future
by lb
Apr 4th, 2008
12:56:22 PM
1, this talkback will be over 400 posts...at least. 2, Transformers 2 will suck 3, TINO will come up at least 17 times 4, Bad michael bay puns related to southpark and his middle name will arrive soon. 5, I really miss the transformers AICN talkbacks
jackasses
by ltexley
Apr 4th, 2008
01:03:55 PM
You clowns ar jackassess. You hate this film because it's "cool" to hate this film, much like your hatred for Shia. What has he ever done to you. Please, explain what was so painful about Shia?
more predicts
by lb
Apr 4th, 2008
01:07:54 PM
7, Transformers 2 will have alot of shaky cam and of screen fighting to save the budget on the CGI
I thought that was going to be the humping robot
by ZeroCorpse
Apr 4th, 2008
01:10:13 PM
Whedon! Whedon buffy whedon!
TF was not like Saturday morning cartoons...
by KillDozer
Apr 4th, 2008
01:10:38 PM
it was more like Sunday morning crap like 'Small Wonder'.
the youtube robot clip
by zom-bot.com
Apr 4th, 2008
01:10:44 PM
yeah that thing is amazing...but it's funny in the last frame you see the front corner tire come off the table and a hand fly to go save it. wonder what got got out? crash!
Megan Fox is a good metaphor for the movie
by drewlicious
Apr 4th, 2008
01:16:03 PM
Not much going on upstairs but a lot of fun to look at. Looking forward to the sequel because there is this part of me that still flips out over the sight of those robots and sight of Devastator (wasn't the tank named Devastator in the movie?) is just too much to pass up. Damn you Michael Bay and your awesome grill, awesome pussycat, and awesome pool!!!
You got my money once
by hallmitchell
Apr 4th, 2008
01:26:57 PM
Certainly will NOT be getting it twice. I absolutly hate Transformers even more than the prequels. Garbage. P.S. I do like the transformers universe I just hate the film.
Holy crap, what would compell someone to make a real-life Transf
by TallBoy66
Apr 4th, 2008
01:27:48 PM
fucking designers, DON'T THEY KNOW THIS IS THE END OF EVERYTHING?!!!
CeejayNightwing You Don't Understand The Hate
by Samus Aran
Apr 4th, 2008
01:29:46 PM
You don't seem to understand the basis for the hatred that the fans have for "Bayformers". I was a HUGE fan of the toys when I was a kid, and it was not because of the cartoon whatseover, in fact I could barely stand the cartoon really. You are correct that the cartoon was full of garbage ideas and explanations, and I have never seen that animated movie because I knew that they introduced a bunch of new and poorly designed transformers early on in the movie, and they killed all the well designed ones that I cared about. The simple fact is that it just isn't enough to make "giant fucking robots" (I have come to hate that term, hearing it over and over again). I think there were dozens of poorly designed giant fucking robots all throughout childhood, and I ignored all of them. But I loved original Transformers because they were well designed. Not only did I love the idea of cars and jets that transformed into robots, but I loved how they looked when the did turn into robots, because they still looked like cars and jets. Michael Bay and his concept artist Ben Procter (who is a very untalented artist, trust me if you can't tell by looking at his work), they have no understanding of why Transformers had such visual appeal in the first place. They don't understand that the reason Jazz looked so damn cool was because his chest was the hood of a Porsche, and his feet were made up of the back spoiler and had huge rubber wheels right there on the sides of his legs. I have read the talkbacks here, and people have been describing Michael Bay and Ben Procters designs as shredded tin foil- this is a perfectly acurate description of those designs. I do not like transformers because I am fascinated with tin foil and junk metal, I love transformers because I love to see a robot that litterally looks like he is made out of a car. I like Transformers because they look strong too, and Ben Procters designs look like the transformers are made out of a bunch of small weak pieces of metal that can break off any second or be bent. I have read that Michael Bay had no interest in Transformers at first, and looking at the movie clearly he wasn't a fan of the characters in any form. I see that Michael Bay wanted to reinvent them completely so that he could put his signiture on them. I am so glad that Peter Jackson didn't have such a massive ego that overpowered the original style and intent of a beloved story. I didn't really care so much about the bad story problems in Bayformers, because I was so distracted by the terrible robot designs, but I don't understand how people can have such a poor sense of logic, that the ludicrous ideas in that movie didn't cause them to totally zone out and stop paying attention to what was going on. And I noticed that Michael Bay used his cheap shot once again, the same one he uses in every movie of his- he put a very beautiful girl in there just to distract us from the poor quality of his film making. Having hot girls in movies is almost always the mark of a poorly made movie. When I want to see a beautiful girl, I'll watch porn, not Transformers. Mixing what should have been a somewhat serious movie with porn is like mixing a Ribeye Steak with Strawberry Syrup. Sure I want both at one time or another, but not at the same time dammit. Anyway, I have noticed that the only people that love Bayformers are the ones that never gave a damn about Transformers in the first place, oh and that one guy who posted earlier during his defense of Bayformers that his Transformers toys always broke within the first couple of weeks. Yes I noticed when I was a kid that all the dumb kids had broken transformers, while the smarter ones knew how to be careful with the delicate parts. All the people defending Bayformers speak like very uninteligent people, and they clearly have no sense of aesthetics. I would have never bought a toy that looked like these Bayformers when I was a kid- toys like that always existed, and they were the poorly designed garbage toys.
That little vid is so cool..
by Aethyrr
Apr 4th, 2008
01:39:53 PM
..but creepy too. We're years away from real transformers! Beware!
Bayformers is like Shakespeare....
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
01:41:47 PM
on cocaine, ecstacy, alcohol, skunk, methane, sulphur and carbon monoxide.
I already stated that Transformers was awesome.
by El Mamerro
Apr 4th, 2008
01:42:11 PM
And that I am always right. You fellas shouldn't waste any more time arguing about this.
ROBOTS WILL TAKE OVER, THIS IS THE BEGINNING
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
01:42:40 PM
Trust me, we will be enslaved!!! yes!!! can't wait!!!!
the funniest part of these transformers talkbacks....or any talk
by Bouncy X
Apr 4th, 2008
01:43:51 PM
is seeing so many get upset because people dont share their opinion. whether it be for or against the movie/show/comic/cartoon/game. like relax kids, if you liked its ok if others didnt and vice versa if you hated it. kinda reminds me of those really religious people who just cant fathom the concept of someone not believing so they get upset at anyone who doesnt.
Im beginnin to think...
by mr ahole ramirez
Apr 4th, 2008
01:46:30 PM
...that TF fans are LOSER-GEEKS and the worst ones ever...theres nothin wrong wit bein a geek, but to despise a movie so much just cuz 1. there were flames on Optimus, 2. it deviated from the source material (robots from another planet who can transform into human made vehicles, how did they deviate from the source?), and 3. cuz there were bad jokes in the movie, makes you a loser...therefore LOSER-GEEKS...I give Trekkies and Star Warries (?) fans far more credit than you TF fans...honestly, you all need to kill yourselves cuz you make geeks look bad...
re:havehope
by mr ahole ramirez
Apr 4th, 2008
01:48:10 PM
...not sure if bein enslaved by machines is good, but I agree wholeheartedly...my grocery stores have self-checkout lanes...WTF...the end is near, just let it end when Im cremated...
Real TF fans hate the movie, Fake ones love it
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
01:49:38 PM
And most Fake TF fans populate the net and love the movie. The real fans like myself are in a minority.
re: ramirez
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
01:51:32 PM
Yep, either I join the king bots or I am not around when the takeover happens.
More Robots beating the shit out of each other = win
by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz
Apr 4th, 2008
01:51:36 PM
The first one delivered exactly what I wanted and I Am sure the 2nd one will too. For a concept that was basically one long toy commercial back in the 80s I am still laughing at those who cry like little bitches.
Here it comes...
by argonaught
Apr 4th, 2008
01:51:54 PM
I have to admit, I enjoyed the Transformers movie for what it was. Not really really enjoyed but the movie didn't make me want to take my two hours back. But it wasn't anything special, it doesn't deserve a sequel at all. There were so many things that Bay got wrong that I'm afraid that the franchise is FUBAR. Nothing Bay can do will ever be able to get this back on the right track. I don't think he'll even attempt to though. Anyway, I won't be watching this.
Man, I could sludge through this movie..
by malificus
Apr 4th, 2008
01:52:12 PM
..easier than getting through some of these epic posts. Jeebus, it's like if you can't say what you have to say in a two hour movie what makes you think that extra 22 minutes is going to make a difference? Cripes, be witty, be wry, make a point but be fucking concise motherfuckers!
Bay seems like a nice guy who...
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
01:54:30 PM
should not be making films. Simple.
Faust 8, good points all around.
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Apr 4th, 2008
02:02:00 PM
No Volton though. He's only good in small bursts. Live action Starblazers or Robotech is what we need.
More robots
by Sithdan
Apr 4th, 2008
02:13:51 PM
Transformers needs to focus more on the robots themselves and not the human characters so much, like the 80s cartoon.
Go to Chud and check out the essay on fanboys
by drewlicious
Apr 4th, 2008
02:18:18 PM
I think a lot people in this forum might discover something about themselves.
SamusAran
by zom-bot.com
Apr 4th, 2008
02:18:41 PM
i don't know if you read some of my posts, but yes, the robot design was the biggest gripe with me too. In the toys and character design it was all about the clever and dual purpose parts of both the vehicle and the robot.

i even dare to say if they had kept anything close to that functional, recognizable 'look' i may have actually ignored all the rest of the movie being horrible...i'll say it again, optimus prime was a shredded pepsi can with all his internal workings completely exposed. maybe that's why they needed out help. ;P

I'll throw my 2 cents when I get back from work
by Phategod1
Apr 4th, 2008
02:29:55 PM
Peace Bitches
Bayformers!!!1
by havehope
Apr 4th, 2008
02:43:13 PM
Less than meets the eye
How to make Transformers 2 better...
by Johnno
Apr 4th, 2008
02:43:13 PM
Cut back on the people and comedy. It's only funny the first time, but I cannot sit through that film again... second viewing will just make it annoying and you skip to the action sequences. And I'll stress it again, CUT back on the people characters and only focus more on the Transformers themselves... The only good people we need ar the military and others as basic plot devices. We cana lways use mroe of Megan Fux though... if you need a central character, use her. Fuck Shia's character, he and his family are just annoying. Cut down on the fucking jokes!
Gotham Night
by Vern
Apr 4th, 2008
02:52:36 PM
That's supposed to be embarrassing to me? I should be ashamed I didn't like that movie? I challenge you to explain to me in detail why you think it is a good movie or why you think I should like it WITHOUT using any of the following copouts:

1. It's not supposed to be Shakespeare

2. It's not supposed to win Oscars

3. It's only a summer popcorn movie, it is not supposed to be good

4. What did you expect? It's supposed to be moronic and insulting, not great entertainment

5. Why would you expect competent action sequences, nobody ever said you could tell which character was which, where they were standing, what they were doing or whether they were right side up or not

6. Good comedy is overrated, it is actually more daring to load a movie with groaner after groaner

7. It is actually illegal now to make great summer event movies like ALIENS or TERMINATOR 2

In other words it has to be about what the movie personally means to you and what you thought worked about it, and not what low standards you are holding it up to. If you can do that I will respect your opinion, although I will really, really, really disagree with it.

(But how did this become about me, anyway? I didn't say anything.)

Vern
by santi01
Apr 4th, 2008
02:56:40 PM
You should like for the folowing reason: Its only a stupid summer popcorn flick thats not supposed to win Oscars. Jeez what'ya expect, shakspear?!?
Wheres damnyoumichaelbay?
by santi01
Apr 4th, 2008
02:58:33 PM
Its your time to shine!
i'm just waiting for the M.U.S.C.L.E movie
by zom-bot.com
Apr 4th, 2008
03:18:05 PM
or has there already been one in japan? a cast of thousands!
Vern forgot
by Rufferto
Apr 4th, 2008
03:23:23 PM
8.) The original was made to sell merchandise therefor any crap taken on it afterwards is totally justified.
That Little Video was Better Then the Original Movie!
by BilboRing
Apr 4th, 2008
03:23:27 PM
It had more story, better dialog, character development and better special effects.
bayformers wasn't made to sell merchandise?
by zom-bot.com
Apr 4th, 2008
03:27:52 PM
man, i guess all those toys and posters and clothes and chips and drinks and..oh, i don't know, Cars, and army recruitment were just the market in response to what a great film transformers was.
oh i see
by zom-bot.com
Apr 4th, 2008
03:29:07 PM
'twas sarcasm. i hadn't read vern's bit yet.

:)

The word "SPOILERS" implies that...
by DarthCorleone
Apr 4th, 2008
03:31:10 PM
...there is something to spoil.
IT HAS BEGUN
by Prossor
Apr 4th, 2008
03:34:24 PM
the transformers 2 TB wars. A PERIMETERE AROUND THE CIRCLE CREATE.
Vern, I love and respect every single of your reviews, but...
by DerLanghaarige
Apr 4th, 2008
03:35:22 PM
...your opinion about Michael Bay is as biased as my opinion about Tarantino.
# 9
by Rufferto
Apr 4th, 2008
03:40:58 PM
It was fun. Explosions! Boom ! Lol Piss and masturbation jokes! ROFL Token Black guy? Check! Woooh! Decent dialog, script and character development? NOOO! My attention span would reach its limits! This is the ritilin MTV age BITCH! GIVE MY BIG UGLY ROBOTS!
The sequel needs
by Rufferto
Apr 4th, 2008
03:42:36 PM
Poochie the rockin' Hound!
TO THE EXXXTREMMMMEEEE
by Rufferto
Apr 4th, 2008
03:42:59 PM
How many urination scenes in this one?
by INWOsuxRED
Apr 4th, 2008
03:48:07 PM
The formula for sequels is just to do the first one, only "bigger", so who is going to urinate on what in this one? I won't pay for this one, just like I didn't pay for the first one. I encourage you all to do the same.
TF2: TransforMORE
by zom-bot.com
Apr 4th, 2008
03:50:11 PM
SPOILERS!

dead illegals will be found in optimus's trailer, after framed by the decepticons. bumblebee channels dr.drew's show to help shia out with sex advice, then plays white wedding while shia and megan fuck in his back seat. frenzy turns into a new sleek 'chocolate wafer' cellphone by nokia, a sony digital camera, the new dell pentium12, a can of redbull transformers edition,a designer watch, a flatscreen HD tv, and a few other things that will need advertising- and all the brand names will be rendered in extreme detail. A new decepticon sportscar is introduced, forming a paris hilton torso in the drivers seat, blowing something up and speeding away, but not before saying 'that's hot'. A new and multifaceted black character will eat hot pork rinds, shit himself, and get so scared when he sees atransformer that his eyes and lips bug out, and his hair stands up, buckwheat style. there will be a full hour of military war room debate full of lots of fists on desks, hackers, and 'dammits!'

end spoiler!

SFX Oscar should've gone to...
by KillDozer