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X-FILES Sequel Director
Chris Carter To Paley Crowd:
We’re Tussling Over Title!!

X-Files 2 - Rambo's Revenge by bobinnova	Mar 27th, 2008 11:12:58 AM

You know you can see the trailer for it here? by erichaislar	Mar 27th, 2008 11:13:05 AM
http://www.xfilesnews.com/inde x.php?option=com_content&task= view&id=251&Itemid=1
obviously, X-FILES 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO by Acne Scarface	Mar 27th, 2008 11:14:37 AM

X-FILES 2: FILE HARDER by Acne Scarface	Mar 27th, 2008 11:16:09 AM

X Files 2 - No Country for Old Fluke Men by BrandonGK	Mar 27th, 2008 11:16:25 AM

X-Files Not Found - The Microsoft Nightmare by bobinnova	Mar 27th, 2008 11:16:46 AM

Its about time by prunkhaft	Mar 27th, 2008 11:17:37 AM
That Carter takes responsibility for the events of 9/11. I'm kidding but would love to see that episode. Never saw one episode of Lone Gunmen, was it cancelled before 9/11 because of bad ratings or after?
X FILES DUEX: WHAT HAPPENED TO SCULLY'S HAIR? by brezzel	Mar 27th, 2008 11:18:25 AM

X-FILES 2: YES, WE SUCKED AFTER SEASON FOUR by brezzel	Mar 27th, 2008 11:19:12 AM

this movie is like 10 years too late. by Boomers_Lips	Mar 27th, 2008 11:19:24 AM
but i'll go see it if nothing better is playing at the same time.
X-FILES 2: REFILED by Acne Scarface	Mar 27th, 2008 11:19:46 AM

X-FILES TWO: BLACK OIL MY ASS by brezzel	Mar 27th, 2008 11:20:00 AM

X Files II - Mulder Bones Scully by bobinnova	Mar 27th, 2008 11:20:06 AM

X-FILES AND THE BOOTY FROM MARS by brezzel	Mar 27th, 2008 11:21:33 AM

X Files 2 - Two Mulders For Sister Scully by bobinnova	Mar 27th, 2008 11:22:02 AM

X-FILES AGAIN: BECAUSE CHRIS CARTER CAN'T FIND A JOB by brezzel	Mar 27th, 2008 11:22:13 AM

X-FILES 2: BURNS BRINGS YOU LOVE! by Acne Scarface	Mar 27th, 2008 11:23:20 AM

HERC by Mr. Nice Gaius	Mar 27th, 2008 11:24:51 AM
Smite these multi-title spamming assholes with the Ban Hammer.
X-FILES 2 - FUCK ABRAMS FOR DOING CLOVERFIELD 1ST by bobinnova	Mar 27th, 2008 11:28:39 AM

"True to everything that came before" by Kasch	Mar 27th, 2008 11:29:27 AM
So it'll pick up all those horrible plot lines from the last four seasons? Wonderful.
prunkhaft by Bouncy X	Mar 27th, 2008 11:31:47 AM
it was cancelled after if i'm correct, but the series is on dvd if u wanna check it out. it isnt really a bad show, it just had the unfortunate reality of being the spinoff of X-Files. so everyone was thrown by the completely different tone and style. but if you enjoyed the 2 Gunmen-centric episodes they made then you'll likely enjoy this show.
X-Files 2: Paper Jam by Frodo T. Baggins	Mar 27th, 2008 11:32:01 AM

X-Files 2: Finally Filed by Frodo T. Baggins	Mar 27th, 2008 11:32:30 AM

X-Files 2: Paper Cut by Frodo T. Baggins	Mar 27th, 2008 11:32:52 AM

And what would you like to discuss... by brezzel	Mar 27th, 2008 11:32:58 AM
...Mr. Nice Gaius? The enitre POINT of this talkback is to suggest alternate titles. You goof.
X-Files 2: Gone Stationary by Frodo T. Baggins	Mar 27th, 2008 11:33:13 AM

X-Files 2: The Y-Files by Frodo T. Baggins	Mar 27th, 2008 11:33:55 AM

X-Files 2: Scully Cant Find Work by Frodo T. Baggins	Mar 27th, 2008 11:35:03 AM
So Agreed To Another Movie...she really hates this job
X2: Remember the X-Files everybody? by Baron Karza	Mar 27th, 2008 11:36:21 AM
Even the core audience has crumbled.. this better get GREAT word of mouth or its gonna die badly.
Scullys kid will probably be like Jack Jack by Baron Karza	Mar 27th, 2008 11:37:35 AM
KWIS?
X Files 2 by santi01	Mar 27th, 2008 11:37:40 AM
X-Files 2: Terminators Take Over Earth
That article was totally fucking illegible by photoboy	Mar 27th, 2008 11:38:15 AM
Seriously, it started out OK, but by the end it was like someone just transcribed their notes and didn't bother to actually put it into actual sentences that made sense.
X-FILES BEGINS by bobinnova	Mar 27th, 2008 11:38:33 AM
Given that Hollywood loves to reboot every old franchise, really surprised they didn't recast Mulder and Scully.
Is the title thing the only thing you fuckers are by I Dunno	Mar 27th, 2008 11:40:21 AM
capable anymore? I used to come to the TB for some decent flame wars, a witty comment or two and maybe even some film discussion and now all there is now are lame ass humorous titles for everything. Shame on you assholes.
X-FILES 2: FUCK LOST - WE DID IT FIRST by kolchak	Mar 27th, 2008 11:41:39 AM

brezzel by Mr. Nice Gaius	Mar 27th, 2008 11:44:07 AM
No, the point is that you multi-title spammers KILL Talkbacks. Actual discussion of any said topic goes right out the window. What's the use in trying to interject something worthwhile when it gets devoured by a million phony titles. Look, I know we all like to have fun. It's just that this multi-title trend is beyond tiresome.
I Dunno by Mr. Nice Gaius	Mar 27th, 2008 11:45:21 AM
Amen.
X-Files 2: File Harder by KentButabi	Mar 27th, 2008 11:51:45 AM

cnn has more details by palewook	Mar 27th, 2008 11:52:33 AM

X-Files 2: The Secret of the Ooze by KentButabi	Mar 27th, 2008 11:53:50 AM

I enjoy multi-title threads... by tonagan	Mar 27th, 2008 11:56:22 AM
Sure, some are lame, but there are occasionally some laugh-out-loud gems. Usually it's just a subject header, so you can just breeze by them.
X Files 2 - Scully Nude on Californication by Thrillho77	Mar 27th, 2008 11:56:44 AM
Please? Before it's too late!
And as long as Superman isn't the father of Scully's kid... by tonagan	Mar 27th, 2008 11:57:21 AM
I'm in.
My bad, Acne Scarface by KentButabi	Mar 27th, 2008 12:02:23 PM
I must have subliminally read yours.
Just stick a big, grand Roman numeral after the title and be don by Henry Jones Sr	Mar 27th, 2008 12:06:03 PM

how about just X-FILES (2008)? by Acne Scarface	Mar 27th, 2008 12:11:15 PM
unless they were holding a double feature w/ the original, there should be no confusion @ the box office about which x-files movie u want 2 c. if it worked for RAMBO...zeppelin...peter gabriel...seal...
we cool, kent by Acne Scarface	Mar 27th, 2008 12:12:56 PM
gimme dap?
X-FILES: DEATH BY AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIATION by sapno_krei	Mar 27th, 2008 12:21:39 PM
nt
i thought they have talked about the WTC episode by oisin5199	Mar 27th, 2008 12:25:20 PM
a buncha times?
X-Files 2: Bones by zooch	Mar 27th, 2008 12:31:06 PM

The WTC thing wasn't THAT creepy by I Dunno	Mar 27th, 2008 12:46:08 PM
The WTC was already attacked once years before in 1993 and alongside the ESB, it's the most recognizable building in the US. Having a story where a plane flies or almost flies into it isn't all that far out a plot point that the writers can be called Nostradamus or anything. Now if there was a story about someone firing a cruise missile up the Statue of Liberty's snatch and the terrorists later did THAT, then I'd say they had something but the terrorists didn't need that episode of the Lone Gunmen to get the idea. No one in America, much less a bunch of muslim extremists watched that show anyway. And maybe an article about a show's title was the wrong place to bitch about the constant title jokes but it's in every Goddamn thread already.
X-FILES 2: Last Refuge of the Fucktarded by sapno_krei	Mar 27th, 2008 01:38:41 PM

W-FILES by rosasaks	Mar 27th, 2008 01:42:37 PM
It's a prequel...
X Files: Dyatlov Pass... by BoggyCreekBeast	Mar 27th, 2008 01:44:23 PM
I mean, that's what all this silly Russian hikers stuff that's suddenly appeared is anyway, isn't it? Viral marketing.
X - Files 2 - Hillary Returns to Kosovo by Fred	Mar 27th, 2008 01:47:49 PM

X-FILES REBOOT by Embeedeuce	Mar 27th, 2008 01:51:10 PM
We'll set in high school, and a young Mulder works for the school paper investigating paranormal stuff like a gooey locker, or some girl's virginity mysteriously disappearing. Then one day a young Scully transfers in. And of course there's -- wait for it -- Principal Skinner.
X-FILES 02: FIGHT REMEMBERING SEASONS 6-9 by alice 13	Mar 27th, 2008 02:07:11 PM
yay for a new title thread!
x-files 2: the first movie never happened by imageburn13	Mar 27th, 2008 02:10:16 PM

X-FLIES by Embeedeuce	Mar 27th, 2008 02:22:17 PM
Buzzzzzzzz.
X-FILES 2: BABY GENIUSES by kolchak	Mar 27th, 2008 02:58:43 PM

X-Files 2: The Cash Cow Mutilations by bswise	Mar 27th, 2008 04:44:58 PM

X-Files 2: X-Files United by Thrillho77	Mar 27th, 2008 05:15:10 PM

In the final Xfiles episode... by fiester	Mar 27th, 2008 05:19:14 PM
It was pretty clear Mulder was a wanted man and the world was going to end in 2012...so how do they get around that?
Ecch Files by Jonas Grumpy	Mar 27th, 2008 05:54:38 PM
Brought to you by Alfred E. Neuman.
Carter probably wants a title without "X-Files" in it... by torpor_haze	Mar 27th, 2008 06:09:08 PM
and bean counters at Fox probably want to cash in on the name recognition.
THE Y-FILES by Napoleon Park	Mar 27th, 2008 06:18:21 PM
This could be the new Terminator 4 talkback. So just to get these out of the way... The A-Files. - The B-Files. - The C-Files. - The D-Files. - The E-Files. - The F-Files. - The G-Files. - The H-Files. - The I -Files. - The J-Files. - The K-Files. - The L-Files. - The M-Files. - The N-Files. - The O-Files. - The P-Files. - The Q-Files. - The R-Files. - The S-Files. - The T-Files. - The U-Files. - The V-Files. - The W-Files. - The Z-Files. - The 1-Files. - The 2-Files. - The 3-Files. - The 4-Files. - The 5-Files. - The 6-Files. - The 7-Files. - The 8-Files. - The 9-Files. - The 0-Files. - The Alpha-Files. - The Beta-Files. - The Delta-Files. - The Gamma-Files. - The Omega-Files. - The Led Zeppelin Runes-Files.
Regarding my pal Xippy and Mr. Nice by Napoleon Park	Mar 27th, 2008 06:23:18 PM
Here is a nice on topic post about the controversy over the director of the next X-files movie and the studio disagreeing over what the title should be
Regarding my pal Xippy and Mr. Nice by Napoleon Park	Mar 27th, 2008 06:23:20 PM
Here is a nice on topic post about the controversy over the director of the next X-files movie and the studio disagreeing over what the title should be
Regarding my pal Xippy and Mr. Nice by Napoleon Park	Mar 27th, 2008 06:23:22 PM
Here is a nice on topic post about the controversy over the director of the next X-files movie and the studio disagreeing over what the title should be
Regarding my pal Xippy and Mr. Nice by Napoleon Park	Mar 27th, 2008 06:23:22 PM
Here is a nice on topic post about the controversy over the director of the next X-files movie and the studio disagreeing over what the title should be
Regarding my pal Xippy and Mr. Nice by Napoleon Park	Mar 27th, 2008 06:23:22 PM
Here is a nice on topic post about the controversy over the director of the next X-files movie and the studio disagreeing over what the title should be
Regarding my pal Xippy and Mr. Nice by Napoleon Park	Mar 27th, 2008 06:23:24 PM
Here is a nice on topic post about the controversy over the director of the next X-files movie and the studio disagreeing over what the title should be
Regarding my pal Xippy and Mr. Nice by Napoleon Park	Mar 27th, 2008 06:23:25 PM
Here is a nice on topic post about the controversy over the director of the next X-files movie and the studio disagreeing over what the title should be
yikes, how did that happen? by Napoleon Park	Mar 27th, 2008 06:24:09 PM

Only asked the popular characters back by Rufferto	Mar 27th, 2008 06:29:43 PM
What a burnnnn for Skinner.
but as I was saying.......................... ................... by Napoleon Park	Mar 27th, 2008 06:33:38 PM
I think a film should have a title so that persons who wish to purchase a ticket to see the film in a theater can verbally address the topic with the movie ticket salesperson rather than just say "Me want see movie!" and hope they get it right. Of course this only applies to multiple screen theaters, though most modern theaters are being built in that configuration. Another good reason for a film such as the new X-Files movie to have a title would be so that people who prefer to wait and then purchase the property on DVD can make their selection without having to point or obliquely describe the film to the help. And I realize that most DVD retailers are self-service establishments, but their merchandise is generally arranged in some sort of logical fashion both by genres and then, within those catagories, alphabetically. It would be hard to know where to file a film with no title. I don't actually think this would be a problem with NetFlix, at least while the rilm is less than a few years old. If you requested that they add "the new X-Files movie with no name" to your queue, they would probably locate it for you eventually. In conclusion, I think the new X-Files movie should have a title, though it would certainly not be my place, as someone who was never a regular viewer of the series, to suggest what that title should be. Happy now, Xiphos and Gaius?
Oh, and X-FILES: FIRE WALK WITH ME by Napoleon Park	Mar 27th, 2008 06:34:13 PM

X-FILES 2: XXX by IAmMrMonkey!	Mar 27th, 2008 06:44:14 PM
Scully on all fours. Vin Diesel provides the anal probe.
Napoleon Park by Mr. Nice Gaius	Mar 27th, 2008 07:00:57 PM
Now, that's what I'm talking about! Well done, sir. What you did right there is exactly what this site needs more of. Creativity and wit...NOT multi-title spam. Kudos.
And FIRE WALK WITH ME... by Mr. Nice Gaius	Mar 27th, 2008 07:02:48 PM
...could have probably passed as an actual X-File.
Who about "XX" since X2 was taken in 2003 by Yeti	Mar 27th, 2008 08:02:53 PM
Damn those mutents.
X Files 2: Scully Gets An Anal Probe by Redc40	Mar 27th, 2008 08:35:58 PM
of the flesh variety
The X-Files: Do or Die by hank henshaw	Mar 27th, 2008 08:48:16 PM
Cause if this movie fails, we will never hear of the X-Files again in decades until someone decides to do a remake.
X-Files 24. Jack Bauer's day of spooks by KongMonkey	Mar 27th, 2008 09:30:53 PM
Some kind of crossover with Bauer tagging along with Mulder and Scully would fit in nice with their COPS crossover. Or not...probably not...
X-Files 2: Assignment Miami Beach by discomatic	Mar 27th, 2008 09:55:39 PM

X-File Movie by Osmosis Jones	Mar 27th, 2008 10:09:41 PM
A zany "spoof" of he X-files with Pamela Anderson as Scully and Leslie Nielsen as Mulder!
Cloverfield type movie was done on Xfiles with the COPS episode. by Stormwatcher	Mar 27th, 2008 10:10:21 PM
Still it would be cool to have a Clvoerfield style Xfiles where they fight a HUGE monster. Fight this future biatch!
With Regard to the 911 Lone Gunmen Episode... by LennyNero123199	Mar 27th, 2008 10:54:05 PM
If I remember correctly, the reason why memories of this episode freaked out more than a few viewers (myself included), was not only because it involved a terrorist plot to attack America via crashing an airplane (along with hijacked passengers and crew) into one of the twin towers, (and c'mon guys... seeing that episode and then actually seeing a virtually identical scenario played out in real life a few months later was more than a bit sobering and creepy, at least just as much so as the attacks themselves were horrifying and devasting), but also because the episode stated that certain elements within the United States government (the Pentagon, if I recall correctly), were behind the plot. According to the storyline, with communism defeated our military bases were being decomissioned left and right by liberals who felt that America's collective Armed Forces and defense systems, otherwise known as the industrial war machine were no longer necessary (at least not to the size and scale which it had developed within the previous two decades). Democrates wanted to drain the defense budget so as to use the money on the domestic front (education, healthcare, etc...). And so, desperate to convince the American public that this was an extreme error and that the Country was not safe, the powers that be needed to use the politics of fear... to replace the Soviets with a newer, more fearsome enemy of our country. They chose terrorists as the logical threath for the next decade or so. I personally do not believe that our government was behind the actual 911 attacks, but a few elements of the episode storyline certainly ring true enough to breathe a bit of life into several possible conspiracy theories. And there are more than a few people out there who are only too happy to believe the absolute worst with regard to the present administration (of which I am certainly no fan). After all, for better or worse, America is the home of the conspiracy theory and what is the "X-Files" if not a brilliant television series centered around one of (if not the largest), fictional conspiracy theory of all time? Hell, speaking of real conspiracy theories, think about where the Lone Gunmen got their name from.
X-FILES 2: THE WRATH OF KRYCHEK by MrMysteryGuest	Mar 27th, 2008 11:44:35 PM
Will Mulder scream, "KRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYCHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKKKKKKKKKK?"
regarding fictional 9/11 parallels by Napoleon Park	Mar 28th, 2008 12:23:41 AM
Does any one remember the Hasselhof made for TV "Nick Fury, Agent of SHIELD" on Fox? I watched it new and taped it. Years later, (after 9/11) I was at a friends watching the tape. When the villains from Hydra opened the back of their truck and their twin missile launchers were pointed straight at the World Trade Center towers, we both lost it and went "Holy sh*t, they're NEVER going to show this on TV again." As it happened, we were wrong and it did show up on a late show a few years after that. Which is cool. At the time, and for a while after, it seemed like the country would never heal. Or scrape off those multiple flag decals.
XFILES RAMBOINATOR 2 AND THE LAME TALKBACK FAD by ironic_name	Mar 28th, 2008 06:02:48 AM

first time since 9/11?? by thinboyslim.	Mar 28th, 2008 06:50:39 AM
erm no, i've seen multiple documentaries about 9/11 that include writers of that episode explaining how they'd been told by authorities that the hijackers had been planning the attack for nearly a year and that their episode wasn't responsible for the idea.
Where or what is Paley? by Knobules	Mar 28th, 2008 09:42:07 AM
I live under a rock.
@Napoleon Park by milurs big fat mouth	Mar 28th, 2008 09:56:51 AM
Yeah I saw that Hasselhoff flick. Up there w/ the Dolph/Punisher IMO. But damn the Hoff looked just like Nick Fury. Damn you Hasselhoff!!!
2 X 2 Files by Osmosis Jones	Mar 28th, 2008 10:52:26 AM

Honestly, this is the best you guys got??? by slone13	Mar 28th, 2008 11:09:08 AM
I mean, shit, how many times do I have to say this? If you insist on being an annoying prick and feel the need to fill the board with useless fake titles, AT LEAST ATTEMPT TO MAKE THEM HUMOROUS. There is not even one funny post up there.
I liked "Because Chris Carter Can't Find A Job" by tonagan	Mar 28th, 2008 12:09:17 PM
It's funny because it's true.
X FILES 2: NO COUNTRY FOR CIGARETTE SMOKING MAN by JBouganim1	Mar 28th, 2008 02:16:26 PM

leobloom, yours were the worst of the lot by slone13	Mar 28th, 2008 03:27:05 PM
Truth hurts, don't it, fucknuts? "Raiders of the X-Files Cabinet"??? Painful. See you in hell, chump.
Hope it's better than Night Stalker by CrichtonAstronut	Mar 28th, 2008 03:49:16 PM
Seriously can't smeone make a Kolchack sequel and remember the characters supposed to be mddle aged and funny, not thirty something and taking himself WAY TOO Seriously, with a dark and tragic past no less. People liked Mulder because he knew when to laugh at himself, how did Spotnitz an X-Files vet and fan of the original remember the value of that humor in X-Files and forget it in Night Stalker. The lost opportunity there still burns.
Rumpole of the Bailey reimagined as a 20 something by CrichtonAstronut	Mar 28th, 2008 04:04:56 PM
American played by Matthew McConnhey or Brad Pitt with a tragic past, now fight corporate America and their dark conspiracies while looking dower and saying shit that's supposed to sound portentious with a straight face. And give him a spunky conservative love interest. That would be true to original.
X-FILES 2: No Country For Old X-Files by tme2nsb	Mar 28th, 2008 08:23:16 PM

XFILES 2: DOGGETT VS MULDER - THE SHOWDOWN by tme2nsb	Mar 28th, 2008 08:24:31 PM
I'm trying here..
X-FILES 2: SPOOKY MULDER'S HIGH SCHOOL REUNION by tme2nsb	Mar 28th, 2008 08:25:58 PM

xFILES II: THE SHARK JUMPS BACK by tme2nsb	Mar 28th, 2008 08:28:44 PM

X-FILES TWO: THE ZOMBIE GUNMEN by tme2nsb	Mar 28th, 2008 08:29:36 PM
Not funny, I know.
X-Files 3 / Simpsons 2 by Embeedeuce	Mar 28th, 2008 08:41:10 PM
Reboot the crossover episode. Be ballsy as all hell.
X-Files: The Beast With A Billion Backs by Osmosis Jones	Mar 28th, 2008 10:20:12 PM

It wasn't just about the bad guys crashing a plane by punto	Mar 28th, 2008 11:06:08 PM
I remember the pilot, it was supposed to be a group within the government that was crashing the plane into the WTC because they figured some terrorist group would take responsibility, and the would throw the country into an endless war, and these people would profit from the oil and arms deals. sound familiar? IT'S ALL A CONSPIRACY!
Sorry, leobloom by slone13	Mar 29th, 2008 12:49:34 AM
You just suck. Shit, you can't even spell my name right. When you due back in Boystown?
Slindsey Slohan13: by Napoleon Park	Mar 29th, 2008 02:41:03 AM
if he spelled your name wrong why did you think he was talking to you, ya conceited bastridge? Seriously, everyone griping about title parody posts should probably avoid reading articles with "creators argue over films title" in the headline. Also, XXX-File Stew, the story of a filing cabinet filled with an erotic blend of hot steamy meats, vegatabels and potatoes in a rich gravy redolent with the aromas of heady herbs and spices. Or as Bette Midler so elequently put it, fuck you if you can't take a joke. And before you sharpen your quill for a stinging roposte about how "jokes" are supposed to be funny, I know mine was lame. It's not easy to come up with a clever and on target quip for a show you only ever saw a couple of episodes of nearly a decade ago. Although I'll admit it does seem a little odd to have people tryig to seriously discuss fictional portrayals of events similar to 9/11 while a bunch of other people are making with the silly Electric Bugaloo comments. But if devoted X-Files fans actually want to discuss the program, they can go to the article with the nifty poster and abandon this one to the title spammers, okay?
Napoleon Park by slone13	Mar 29th, 2008 10:28:38 AM
Knowing your "jokes" are lame and still posting them anyway is just sad. Especially when nobody asked you to come up with a clever and on target quip for a show you only ever saw a couple of episodes of nearly a decade ago anyway. As Clint Eastwood so eloquently put it, "A man's got to know his limitations."
These dumb titles remind me of by shathard	Mar 29th, 2008 11:50:52 AM
the type of humor used in comic gems of films such as EPIC MOVIE and MEET THE SPARTANS. Grade A, guys, really. You should all join those writing teams. Send these examples and they'll hire you in a flash.
Stinging riposte, Slowhand by Napoleon Park	Mar 29th, 2008 09:30:58 PM
Trumped my Bette Midler quote with a harry Callahan. Ouchie, ya got me there pard. How embarrassing of me to have posted in a public forum without anyone having asked me to. Show me your engraved invitation, buttocks-headgear. You're not so funny.
X-Files 2.0 by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 02:22:10 AM

X-FILES TO THE KRUMPS by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 02:22:32 AM

FELIS X-2 the mysterious cat by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 02:24:20 AM

ELF SIX by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 02:28:34 AM
An X-Files remake of Sleeping Beauty. With elves instead of dwarves, since dwarf is now the PC term for "little people" who were used to be called midgets. There are Seven Elves but #6 holds the key to the mystery. "I am not a number, I am a FREE ELF!"
X-FILES TU, BRUTE? by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 02:29:51 AM
Mully and Sculder solve the murder of Caesar.
XXX-FILES 2: MORE S&M by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 02:31:40 AM
S&M meaning Sculder and Mully, of course, not Sam & Max.
FLIES 2X - double extra large insects. by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 02:32:57 AM

WAITING TO X-FILE by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 02:33:59 AM
It's a pun. Either you like puns or you don't.
BALLISTIC: ECKS vs. FILES II by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 02:35:23 AM

X-FILLES by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 02:39:48 AM
They used to be French girls (Filles is Canadienne for girls) but now, do to mysterious abductions and a strange experimental surgery, they're Dutch boys instead. How could that be? How can someones nationality be altered surgically? That's what Smelly and Colder have to find out.
IF SEX 2L by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 02:44:27 AM
"2L" is leet-speak for "tool" - it's about a strange mysterious fantastic sex device that Smuddy finds embedded in her scarlet tressed muffington after a strange, mysterious drunken party.
X FI fo fum, I smell the whangina of a LESbium. by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 02:46:14 AM

TOTALLY FILES 2 the maX, FUR SHURE by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 02:55:37 AM

FIX TOWELS by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 02:58:20 AM
[okay I cheated and spelled out t w o] Something strange is happening with the towels. Something weird and out there.
I WET FLOES by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 03:01:52 AM
A strange incontinent mysterious Inuit brings Scummy and Ludder to an inexplicable continent
2 SELIF-X by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 03:03:25 AM
because Satanistas are just dyslexic scilohtac.
LES FIX 2 by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 03:05:04 AM
the prequel to "Les Fix 3: Still More Les Fix"
WOTS LIFE, X? by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 03:08:00 AM
Redrum and Culdysack must solve the mystery of life before it all stops.
Life w/ Fox by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 03:09:17 AM
They wind up living together and she learns to regret the choices she's made, especially that one.
Life w/ Fox & S by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 03:11:23 AM
S for Scully - I forgot the S in the previous title. My bad, totally.
W Stole Fix by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 03:13:06 AM
the lone gunmen theory about the 2000 election
X - THE MAN WITH THE X-RAY FILES, 2 by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 03:44:40 AM

MAC OS-X FILES 2 by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 03:48:25 AM
"Hello, I'm a Mulder" "And I'm a Scully"
BMX-FILES 2 by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 03:51:45 AM
More mysterious weirdness on mountain bikes.
X-FILES 2: FULL BODY RAPTURE IN THE FLOOR OVER ME by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 03:52:53 AM
Because basically I'll watch anything with a Mimi Rogers nude scene.
WOULD YOU LIKE X-FRIES 2 WITH THAT? by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 04:10:05 AM

X-FIRES 2: FILES WALK WITH ME by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 04:11:33 AM
the offensively stereotypically Asian transposition of the L and r sounds version.
X-FILES 2: THE DIRECTIVE CULT by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 04:13:11 AM
Just so they can then release "X-Files 3: the Directive Cult the Directors Cut."
strange dream by nobletoast13	Mar 30th, 2008 08:03:44 AM
I had a strange dream I was watching the first series of the X-Files and was inside the show last night. Maybe that's a subconscious urge to actually watch the show. To Bitlord.....
Nope. Not a funny one in the lot. by slone13	Mar 30th, 2008 03:11:23 PM
Ironically, Noiretblanc's post made me laugh. The idea of an 'Internetland' alone is amusing enough, the fact that its governing system is a monarchy only adds to it. Bonus points for the use of "TUT TUT".
X-FILES 2: LEBOOM STOLE SLOCUMS LUNCH by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 03:49:01 PM

X-FILES 2: CASHMERE LIPSTICK IN THE CITY by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 03:52:54 PM
Mulder discovers a cabal of a dozen women have gained control of New York's media - books, film, television - and the fashion and make-up industries and are Stepfordizing America's women. What is their ultimate goal and how can they possibly have time to drop everything and gather for champagne lunches whenever one of them has relationship issues? Scully infiltrates their inner circle but when she returns with a gorgeous make-over Mulder suspects genetically engineered cloning.
X-FILES 2: THE TRUTH IS "OUT" THERE by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 03:55:27 PM
Why did it take seven years for two partners with an obvious attraction to consumate their relationship? Mully looks in Sculders closet and whoops, there he is.
X-FILES TWO: THE REBOOT by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 03:56:25 PM
Starring Adrian Brody and Alicia Witt
X-Files 2: the remake by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 04:00:03 PM
Starring David Boreanaz and Emily Deschanel. Yes, I stole that idea from the person who posted "X-Files 2: Bones". That was actually a very insightful comment, Zooch.
X-FILES 2: NAILS by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 04:02:00 PM
Abducted cattle are returned with their hooves trimmed, filed, polished and buffed. Mulder just want to know one thing: WTF?
I'm still laughing about "Internetland" by slone13	Mar 30th, 2008 04:54:48 PM
And its un-amused king. Comedy gold.
X-FILES 2: THE MAN WHO WASN'T THERE by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 06:28:33 PM
When his neglectful unloving mother sobers up and notices the stench, the rotting carcass of an internet troll is discovered in his mother's basement. Scully locates his walnut sized brain matter and determines he died of apparent loneliness and his humorless emotional development was stunted at the age when children try to get attention by being annoying and insulting their betters. Meanwhile Mulder goes on a year long search to find anyone who ever gave a rats ass what that person thought, only to give up when he realizes that no such person exists. And that boys name was... Sniper K.
X-FILES 2: YOU'RE SO VAIN by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 06:29:40 PM
You probably thought that post was about you.
X-FILES 2: THE SEARCH FOR A BOYFRIEND by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 06:37:08 PM
Dana Scully )Gillian Anderson)and two alien women, Sally Solomon (Kristen Johnston) and Deanna Troi (Marina sirtis), hatch a plot to trick sci-fi fanboy geeks into thinking that plain looking women are attractive via pavlovian conditioning by playing romantic leads and sex symbols on cult favorite television shows. Mulder sees through the trick and marries the actress who played Scully in the movie-within-the-show (Tea Leoni).
X;FILES 2: THE SEARCH FOR X-FILES: THE MOVIE by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 06:40:42 PM
An early april fools gag gone horribly awry convinces people there will be a second X-files movie until they realize they actually have no recollection of there ever having been a first one. [Yes, I swiped that joke from Mel Brooks "Spaceballs 3: the Search for Spaceballs 2"]
X-FILES 2: WHAT'S UP DOC? by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 06:43:47 PM
More wacky hijinks with Barbra Streisand and Ryan O'Neil, only this time weird and spooky. [Also a none too subtle shout out to Doc Manhattan. Whuzzup?]
X-FILES 2: SCULLY AND BONES by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 06:46:05 PM
Dana teams up with a forensic anthropologist and they commiserate with one another about how frustrating it is to work with an FBI agent who won't fuck then no matter how many hints they drop.
X-FILES 2: SCULLY AND BONES 2 by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 06:48:38 PM
Because it's like "skull and bones" the warning label on poison bottles and pirate ships. It's a pun, get it? Because those are the name and nickname of the female leads on two similarly formatted Fox network shows.
X-FILES 2: SCULLY AND BONES red hot lesbian sex festival by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 06:54:37 PM
Tired of waiting for their sexless FBI agent partners, Dana Scully and Temperence Brennan get it on. special guests: Michaela Conlin, Mimi Rogers, Zooey Deschanel.
X-FILES 2: CLONE WARS by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 06:57:52 PM
Fox (the network, not the FBI agent) hops on the CSI forensics bandwagon and tries to replicate the unrequited sexual tension chemistry of one of their old hit shows. They realize they've failed to duplicate the X-FILES formula when they accidentally produce a watchable show that people actually like.
X-FILES 2: MR. NICE GAIUS ESCAPES VIRGINITY by milla jovovich	Mar 30th, 2008 07:06:00 PM
X-FILES 3: XIPHOS IN LOVE
X-FILES2: T4: DAH TERMINATOR IS OUD DHERE by LaserPants	Mar 30th, 2008 08:11:18 PM
Mulder: Gee wiz Scully does anybody remember our UFO CONSPIRACY? Scully: Yeah, some bitter, single women in their 30s and 40s do. No, they're not married yet. Still carrying a torch for a fictional character. You. Mulder: Wow. Really? But I can't even act! I just sort of sleep walk through everything. Scully: Don't forget you also managed to direct a really awful movie. Mulder: Hey thats right! Even I don't remember what it was called. Even I'm astounded by my smug superiority complex considering I'm barely employed and only marginally talented. Scully: I bet your mom probably gave you an inflated sense of your own importance, thats why you still have that whole smug superiority complex going on even though your basically the same as William Shatner -- a bad actor who's entire career rests on a long dead sci-fi tv franchise. Mulder: Yeah, I guess your... HOLY SHIT DO YOU SEE THAT?!?! THE UFO CONSPIRACY IS REALLY JUST A BUNCH OF TERMINATORS AND THEY"RE COMING TO TERMINATE OUR HOPES THAT THIS MOVIE WON"T BE A MASSIVE BOMB!!!! AIIIIEEEEEEE!!! GEDD DOOODAH CHAHHPPAH!!! DOOO EEEED NOWWW!!!!!
X-FILETS'O'FISH SANDWICHES by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 08:55:03 PM
The Tartar Sauce is On There.
X-FILETS MIGNON by Napoleon Park	Mar 30th, 2008 09:07:11 PM
same joke as above, but beefy.
milla jovovich by Mr. Nice Gaius	Mar 30th, 2008 10:16:15 PM
Cunt.
10-FILES by Napoleon Park	Mar 31st, 2008 02:01:07 AM

X-FILES 2: TOKYO DRIFT by Napoleon Park	Mar 31st, 2008 02:02:12 AM

X FILES 2: THE CASH COW WON'T QUIT! by GenPion	Mar 31st, 2008 02:12:11 AM
I like the X-Files FYI.
X-FILES 2? by Napoleon Park	Mar 31st, 2008 02:12:42 AM
Seriously, not a title spam, an actual question. There was a previous X-Files movie? Really? Never heard of it. Was it some made for TV thing?
X-Files 2: (Insert Obscure Latin Words Here for Title) by The Gipper	Mar 31st, 2008 11:56:55 AM

X-FILES 2.0 SPOOKY GIVES A REBOOT by alice 13	Mar 31st, 2008 12:42:12 PM
the clone is out there.
X-FILES 2.0 SPOOKY GIVES A REBOOT by alice 13	Mar 31st, 2008 12:42:49 PM
the clone is out there.
X-FILES 2: IT'S DEAD JIM! by Napoleon Park	Apr 1st, 2008 01:33:07 AM
but it was a nice bit of juvenile fun while it lasted.
X-FILES 2: SORRY, ROGER, YOU TIGER NOW by Napoleon Park	Apr 1st, 2008 05:05:54 AM

X-FILES 2: AISLE X by Napoleon Park	Apr 1st, 2008 04:30:54 PM
The 24th aisle of one big-ass supermarket.
X-FILES 2: EX-ISLES by Napoleon Park	Apr 1st, 2008 04:34:22 PM
The real-time story is set on a boat rescuiing Sluldy and Mutter, who have been lost on a deserted island for 108 days. But the whole story is told in a combination of flashbacks explaining how they got there and flash forwards explaining how they investigate and find out how they got there. And it's spooky.
X-FILES 2: X-Men by Napoleon Park	Apr 1st, 2008 04:36:29 PM
men go into the hospital for complicated, expensive operations and come out as women! Slutter and Moldy investigate the strange, mysterious and spooky word of post operative male-to-female transsexuals.
X-FILES 2: EXILES by Napoleon Park	Apr 1st, 2008 09:05:54 PM
Loyal fans of a once popular 2nd rate sci-fantasy series on one of the baby-nets are punished for their dedication by exiled to a darkened theater for nearly two hours and made to accept as canon what some hack script-churner says happened to Sciffy and Mussy for the last five years.
X-FILES 2: THE X-FILES X-MAS SPECIAL by Napoleon Park	Apr 2nd, 2008 07:50:38 PM
One major holiday, two sets of mythological traditions. One violates the laws of genetics (virgin birth), physics (water walking) and involves alchemical wizardry (converting water to wine, feeding ultitudes). The other has a wealth obese generous man who doles out rewards for good behavior, reaching millions of recipients in a matter of hours. Scupler and Muldly have to find a way to believe in one or burn forever in a lake of fire - but which one is less implausible?
X-FILES 2: EX-TER-MIN-ATE!!! by Napoleon Park	Apr 3rd, 2008 02:44:15 AM
Scuddy and Muffler vs. the Daleks.
X-FILES 2: THE X-FILM by Napoleon Park	Apr 3rd, 2008 05:48:00 AM
Because it's a movioe, get it?

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