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AICN-Downunder: Excessively Long Fifth Anniversary Edition

first...I didn't even read post though by donwillymo	Mar 14th, 2008 09:37:31 AM

ummm outback steakhouse...bloomin onion...orgasming by donwillymo	Mar 14th, 2008 09:38:24 AM

I am not going to attempt to read this thing...I have a life, yo by donwillymo	Mar 14th, 2008 09:39:53 AM

I heard Kangaroos are mean in real life! by donwillymo	Mar 14th, 2008 09:41:14 AM

echo...echo...echo.....echo by donwillymo	Mar 14th, 2008 09:42:06 AM

Any ideas on other postings to this artice? I comfused too by donwillymo	Mar 14th, 2008 10:11:55 AM

Love in The Time of Colouring by theyetiiswaiting	Mar 14th, 2008 10:30:13 AM
That one made me chuckle.
donwillymo by ironic_name	Mar 14th, 2008 10:33:17 AM
no you don't
Even in Aussie, it's Forgetting Sarah Marshall Day! by Pennsy	Mar 14th, 2008 10:39:50 AM
:D
Sarah Marshall Dundee II by donwillymo	Mar 14th, 2008 10:54:09 AM

That wasn't excessively long! by thebearovingian	Mar 14th, 2008 11:41:47 AM
Only took me a minute to skim it. Keep up the good work in Oz, Latauro!
Congrats on the anniversary, Latauro! by raw_bean	Mar 14th, 2008 12:52:34 PM
Although you could really have done with proof-reading this edition! No matter, it's no worse than the typical piece by Capone, and continues to be one the best 'columns' or whatever on this site. Alwas good for a laugh, informative, and I like your reviews. Here's to another five years. :^)
Yeah, congrats dude. by brokentusk	Mar 14th, 2008 01:25:04 PM
I agree with raw_bean, this post needed a good old proof-reading, but it was still a good read none-the-less. I laughed out loud at both Roland Emmerich jabs (10,000 B.C. being the only time his directing would be considered decent - classic!). Keep up the good work.
Latuaro...sounds like a Mortal Kombat character by donwillymo	Mar 14th, 2008 01:58:21 PM

People slam Transformers but kiss Apatow's ass by skywalkerfamily	Mar 14th, 2008 04:41:57 PM
Does he own stock in AICN?
I just got off the phone with Bobby Flay... by Uncle Stan	Mar 14th, 2008 05:27:28 PM

Ester whateverthefuck and The black balloon... by Tourist	Mar 14th, 2008 07:26:08 PM
...Are precisely whats wrong with the australian film industry. Films that no one wants to see, at all, ever, except the people that make them, that are state funded based on noble art school intentions rather than actual film making ability or an interesting idea. The Black Balloon in particular looked like a fucking comedy sketch. Its the sort of junk that really gives prompting to the idea of scrapping the entire state funded film program. Let the market decide. They even cast a fucking model for celebrity value. Urgh. I'm serious, who the fuck is going to want to watch this film other than those involved in the australian film finance industry and the people who made it? It probally cost three times as much as kenny too.
Five years of covering the same shit everyone by skywalkerfamily	Mar 14th, 2008 07:27:14 PM
else gets a month earlier.
Also... by Tourist	Mar 14th, 2008 07:48:56 PM
...In regards to the black balloon being a subject most people would veer away from, someone should phone up Lasse Halstrom, Depp and DiCaprio and tell them where they went wrong with Gilbert Grape. You know that really exellent film about a social outcast with a retarded brother who comes of age as he falls in love with a beautiful and understanding girl.
Tourist has it in one... by Dr Uwe Boll	Mar 14th, 2008 09:12:15 PM
The Australian film "industry" is like the special olympics - you're proud that they can do it but you're not going to put them (for the most part) in the same category as elite athletes who compete at a professional level (ie: real filmmakers). They compete at the level at which they can, which in the case of The Black Balloon is the disease-of-the-week telemovie field (it is, it really really is). It's just a crying shame that this "is" what passes for cinema in the government funded industry in Australia. A crying shame.
Love the Down-Under AICN by MMacKK	Mar 15th, 2008 01:30:40 AM
Keep it up. Good to read about the local stuff. And I'm cautiously pessimistic about a Spaced remake. Just pay the money that would produce this series to pay for the royaltiesw of the original series, adnd then release the original here and in the States. Im sure Pegg will sell it too easily now...unlike 5 years ago when it might have mattered.
We Aussies occasionally get something worthy done by The Mothman	Mar 15th, 2008 04:28:08 AM
Two Hands, The Interview, Lost Things, Last Train to Freo, Patsy Cline...granted I've only seen bits of most of those, but at least they had strong hooks and weren't just 'character studies', seemingly the only type of film that can get funding. The only essay I ever wrote at uni that I was proud of made a recommendation to get better performances out of Australian films - cast well known Americans in the lead roles and get co-funding. All of which makes the end product less Australian, but at least it'll get exposure. Anyone up for the discussion?
Nice job mate by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	Mar 15th, 2008 06:53:47 AM
keep it up.
Mothman by Latauro	Mar 15th, 2008 06:55:40 AM
We certainly do need to change the way we put films together (and seriously, you need to read Robert Connolly's white paper on the subject -- see last column). I don't think Americans is the way to go, because what's the point in making Australian films if there are no Australian accents? Plenty of popular Australian actors. We just need them to take pay cuts to do local films, and we need better scripts for that to happen. I didn't love Black Balloon or Esther Blueberger, but I have a tremendous amount of respect for Toni Collette given her attachment probably got them made. She seems to be actively trying to help the local industry... now can we get some worthwhile scripts to justify her effort?
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Bring back the ten ba, or a similar scheme... by Tourist	Mar 15th, 2008 08:07:50 AM
...Scrap all development funding and all outright film financing. Tax subsidies instead. Sure, your going to end up with a whole lot of Uwe Boll worthy dreck and shady millenium style investors, but you will also get people willing to take a risk on putting money into films, but also expecting said films to be somewhat profitable. Instead of just giving free reign to someones mates who feel like throwing together a film after listening to some commentary tracks and thinking it sounds swell. Kenny aside, I cant think of an Australian film in the last five years that wasn't unwatchable junk. Save Noise, which was interesting junk. (note, I admire Wolf Creek for what it did, and I know people loved it, but I didn't. But at least it wasnt a fundie tard)
Dr Boll your fucking conceit makes no sense by half vader	Mar 16th, 2008 12:39:43 AM
Are you talking about the crews, the directors, writers, actors - who do you mean exactly when you say 'industry'? It seems to shift through the post. Because considering the average level of proficiency of say, Hollywood as a whole, you'd have to admit they're the same level of talentless fucks if you use the word as a catchall term. If you're not saying that, then you're obviously forgetting that many of the top people in all levels of the American industry are the same supposed retards. And also that a decent shake of the supposedly superior big American stuff was made in either place by the same idiots. I'm assuming you're only talking about the last couple of decades, as you obviously have no idea of the Oz filmmakers from earlier who have produced disproportionately many of the greatest films ever. I agree the funding is fucked up here and there's a lot of crap, but there's no way the level of dreck is higher than anywhere else. Also the idea that this column is redundant betrays the retarded (ironic but topical term, like you using that analogy in the first place) people that think it's written mostly for Americans rather than the other way around in which the moronic 'old news' insult does not apply. "Everyone" doesn't mean America and some little people that are apparently out there in the rest of the unimportant world. Now before you go off, I'm not saying I don't like Americans (or redarded people for that matter). I am saying I don't like idiot generally. Skywalkerfamily is a pathetic troll that defines himself as such with each successive post (except for a Zemeckis comment that was obviously a freak occurrence). But Yack was either joking or having a lapse. Tourist, are you shitting on yourself? Because from that first post, you're obviously either involved with the finance or made those films, by your own argument. You have seen them, right? But I agree about Kenny. It made me so excited I rushed out and saw Jindabyne thinking somehow the tide had turned - oh well. But as far as being a fundie tard, I reckon it got interest (not funding per sé) for EXACTLY that same reason. It's got a pretty fuckin' ocker (occer? How the hell do you spell it anyway?) hook. Cheers. Donwilly no, it's Emus that are arseholes.
Half Vader/10BA etc by Dr Uwe Boll	Mar 16th, 2008 04:04:08 AM
Industry = Government Film Bodies (ie: the ones with all the money) I've never been called out on that before, fair enough. I don't understand your second paragraph, nowhere in my comment did I say this column was redundant. I'm not interested whether the Australian dreck is disproportionate to other countries or not, or what filmmakers did in the past, I care about today (and tomorrow). I'm not trashing below the line talent, I think that's bloody obvious. Once again I find myself agreeing with Tourist - 10BA may be a mixed blessing but a blessing is better than nothing at all. If comments by Brian Rosen in the Feb issue of IF (page 7) are anything to go by we're really, really going to need it.
The second paragraph was a general "you" by half vader	Mar 16th, 2008 01:57:43 PM
and you're (Dr Boll) absolutely right to pick me up on it. Obviously I was all steamed up. And ironically I didn't put an s on the end of idiot down there either. And I was saying Oz TALENT was disproportionate, not the general level of dreck. On that note I subscribe to the theory that 80% of everything from everywhere is shit, 10% really good and 10 bloody awesome. Although it's probably more 90/5/5. Ah well.
wasn't that long by Knifey Spoony	Mar 17th, 2008 04:58:37 AM
I read it all and even read at least 5 funny lines out to my wife. And for all you guys bagging a column that seems to you to be about stuff that's OMG a whole month old - shit - some of us remember the bad old days in Australia when we had to wait six fucken months for new release movies.I saw Star Wars in 78 for fuck's sake. Compared to that this column is FRESH!
Nothing on Tropfest this year? by couP	Mar 18th, 2008 05:42:35 AM
Congrats on the anniversary, and it wasn't that long a column.
When the fuck are AICN gonna get the Justice League by half vader	Mar 19th, 2008 11:55:47 AM
story up? That far-sighted Government of ours just hit it for six. And Justice League "Mortal"??!

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