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Harry wishes he'd missed seeing THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL...

FIRST!! by BradMajors	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:09:56 AM
On my first post ever... sweeeeeet.
at the top by iwontwin	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:15:51 AM
and still shine!
Finally someone gets it right. by Bungion Boy	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:16:57 AM
I saw this film back in October. It was admittedly a rough cut but it was still a complete mess. Then for months I've seen several positive reviews pop up on the site. Nice to know that I'm not crazy.
Harry you get to fixiated on one thing and... by Orionsangels	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:17:56 AM
you decide then and there you're gonna hate this movie. I loathe that style of reviewing films. You do this all the time! I'm not your friend anymore! Okay I still am. I love you Harry. We may not agree all the time, but we're geeks at heart and should really be there for each other. Yes at all times.
If this was good it would... by Redfive!	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:18:43 AM
Of been released during Oscar consideration time.Not Febuary like all the rest of the trash.
Well.... by onephatnelly	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:19:45 AM
... if Harry says it's shit, it's gotta be shit, right?
One of the worst titles ever by haggardatbest	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:21:16 AM
The only way it could be worse would be if they stuck a "-ing" in front. Like "Betraying Mary" or "Forgetting Anne" or "Being Henry" or some shit like that. But "The Other Boleyn Girl" might even be worse than that. Either way it's a garbage title.
an unsexy film with Portman and Johanssen? by newc0253	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:21:41 AM
you mean there's no scene where they at least kiss? damn.
Orion by HEADGEEK	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:22:15 AM
The film is a washed up whale. Everyone that was at the screening that I talked to disliked it. It was just flat, over-acted and lame.
Dammit Harry, go to bed man! You need your sleep! by Big_Bubbaloola	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:27:16 AM
And how in the merry blue hell could Chadwick screw this up! Portman, Johannsen and Bana!?! My god, that's just sex right there. Even if they went down the Carry On Henry route (all heaving bosoms and quadruple entendres) it would have to be better than this bland-o-rama. At least Sid James and a more passing resemblence to the King. Oh and I hope they don't play 'Greensleves' in the film, I overdosed on that damn music at school!
This better not kill the market ... by Hercules	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:31:16 AM
... for movies starring Johanssen and Portman as horny sisters.
Okay Harry! Now I'm excited to see this turkey! by Orionsangels	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:36:45 AM
It never did look good anyway and I'm still not crazy about Portman's acting. She's really not that good of an actress anymore. Her lines always seem forced. It's almost like she delivers a line, then winks at us, wasn't that awesome? She was a more natural actress in her younger years. Aw well Natalieportman.com is not gonna like this one bit, no siree bob.
Hopefully it will kill the market by red_weed	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:38:49 AM
for shit period dramas. really I've had enough. someone make a good one for a change! I know it can be done, i've seen them many times before.
I don't generally give a fuck when they cast American's as brits by Lost Jarv	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:40:22 AM
but that utter talent Vacuum Portman? Scarlett Johanssen is one thing, she can do it- but fucking Padme? Mind you, this always looked like dull Oscar bait so I'm hardly surprised.
Portman for nudity! by skywalkerfamily	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:45:18 AM
Aren't Queens supposed to get nude?
Harry's "Lawrence of Arabia" avatar? by Photoman	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:46:13 AM
Is the animation of that avatar of Lawrence riding a camel, or of the scene where he's being raped by the Turks?
"Bana needs strong direction to deliver" ?????? by _SnakePlissken_	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:47:10 AM
What the fuck are you talking about? Go see the movie "Chopper", it'll blow your ginger pubes off
Credit to Harry for writing a negative review by leobloom	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:49:50 AM
but some of your objections...time-lapse cloud formations? I guess it's either ejaculate or nitpick? Are those the only two settings for Harry's reviews?
Can't say I'm surprised. by loonigrrl	Feb 22nd, 2008 03:12:48 AM
I'm still not convinced Portman is a good actor. Am I the only one who has seen Star Wars? Seriously. V for Vendetta was the exception, not the rule.
Henry VIII? by Tomo	Feb 22nd, 2008 03:28:04 AM
Why do they only make films about Henry VIII? Never the far cooler - cinematically -war mongering Plantagenet Kings? Odd, really.
Who the fuck cares about period pieces nowadays? by random dude	Feb 22nd, 2008 03:56:47 AM

this movie is 7.7/10 on IMDB... by leobloom	Feb 22nd, 2008 04:00:57 AM
i realize it's based on 200-odd votes, but I find it funny that Harry's first negative review in God knows how long is for a movie that is liked by quite a few viewers...
yes the photographer had no idea how to use the camera by HEADGEEK	Feb 22nd, 2008 04:30:10 AM
scenes are blown out - very video looking - no texture - there's no sense of scope, majesty or sense of the regal nature of this type of story. Other than filming in great locations, terribly lit - and shot... and very "nice" costumes... all edited to flow like the end of a piss. What a wasted opportunity. Natalie and Scarlett do a decent job - but often times you can feel the director coaching them to go "more obvious" and it's just bad direction. Eric Bana's slavish devotion to his cock's desires is laughably handled. Portman's seduction isn't handled particularly well. And often times - what you want to be watching is off camera (not talking about sex - the film is PG-13 - so that's not here) - what I'm talking about are events that are talky talky to us - instead of shown. The exposition sometimes is unbearable.
the BBC version by Steve T	Feb 22nd, 2008 05:06:19 AM
Was pretty good as I remember. I suggest you all find that on DVD instead!
Ah yes-Harold and his dirty Sock(TM) by TomBodet	Feb 22nd, 2008 05:06:41 AM
We're always up for a Harold review. He should start rating these movies by the number of Dirty Socks he gives'em. You know, instead of stars-? Socks. For me, of course, it's Giant Robot Logos. For example-Jurassic_Kong gets Two(2) Giant Robots-one for Kong, and one for Ms Watts.
Coming Soon: Josh Hartnett as Napoleon by No Respectable Gentleman	Feb 22nd, 2008 05:08:35 AM

I just loved that phone book line. priceless by EvilGeek1	Feb 22nd, 2008 05:33:01 AM

Henry VIII - Stud Muffin by Giant Ape Balls	Feb 22nd, 2008 05:33:27 AM
Actually in his younger days he was quite the athelete and excelled in archery and jousting. He was also very tall for the times making him an imposing figure It was only after a riding accident that he became the bloated figure that is seen in latter portraits. So Bana is probably OK without all the makeup or padding.
Huh?? by yodalovesyou	Feb 22nd, 2008 05:37:32 AM
"Poor Eric Bana is horrifyingly awful". I refuse to believe that could ever possibly be true. Anyway, this is just Harry bowing down to pressure to finally give a negative review. Bit sad, really, since I had his POTC: AWE review framed because he had the balls to go against the conformity of popular opinion. Here, however, we have a comic-book geek saying he didn't enjoy a period costume drama. Which is a bit like a neo-nazi saying they didn't enjoy Schindler's List, really.
Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson by palewook	Feb 22nd, 2008 05:51:32 AM
theres all sorts of things you could film them doing to get most of us to watch. although, none of that will be in this film
I'm confused... by Tourist	Feb 22nd, 2008 05:52:01 AM
...You didn't expect this to be totally and utterly Mediocre? Did you not see the creative people making this movie? Did you not read what it was about? Did you not see any of the trailers or promotional material or advance word? Man, take the blinkers off once in awhile.
Tourist by Giant Ape Balls	Feb 22nd, 2008 06:05:02 AM
I doubt that there will ever be a good film about Henry VIII. Since the protagonist is a thoroughly unlikeable cad, it doesn't make for compelling viewing. He basically has no redeeming features.
"I’m a fan of the these sorts of films" by Windowlicker74	Feb 22nd, 2008 06:14:45 AM
What sort of films are you not a fan of then?( this is an actual question)
Harry by mastidon	Feb 22nd, 2008 06:34:10 AM
I think the difference between you and me was that I went into this film thinking it would suck. I hate period pieces, I liked the story and enjoyed the film. You went in with expectations it would be good and it clearly fell flat.
completely out of place time-lapse CLOUD FORMATIONS – which felt by Internet Thug	Feb 22nd, 2008 06:38:51 AM
Fucking line of the year harold,,keep up the excellent work
How does it compare to Anne of A Thousand Days? by Drath	Feb 22nd, 2008 07:17:46 AM
Or for that matter, the TV show the Tudors? It's the exact same subject matter. Not that those were terribly accurate, but then this probably isn't either. Harry, you kind of lambast TV again, I would say unfairly, as if that medium is what produces these bad directors. So by comparison, would you say the Tudors series is more cinematic? Cause if it's only as good as that show, then I would call it functional. If I remember Anne of a Thousand Days, it was not terribly cinematic either by today's standards (or then actually), though it did let it's actors shine which may be more than this does. Just want to put it in perspective. If I enjoyed the Elizabeth R series with Glenda Jackson but hated The Golden Age, am I possibly going to like The Other Bolyen Girl?
Poop by Pipple	Feb 22nd, 2008 07:28:24 AM
Harry what did you think of the Indy trailer? I don't recall you posting anything about it at all... what gives? It's fucking indiana jones. We're getting a fucking Indiana Jones movie this year. Jesus Christ.
Meh...? by Cat_Corporation	Feb 22nd, 2008 07:59:36 AM
I love the book and was hoping for a great movie, so pretty disheartened to hear this review. I hope Bana isn't as bad as you say he is Harry; personally I really rate him and I really can't see him being 'horrifyingly awful', but I guess I'll see for myself when it opens in the UK. Sniff.
"like the end of a piss" by greyspecter	Feb 22nd, 2008 08:00:03 AM
classic. But, wait, talkbackers, I thought Hairy Kneels was a Hollywood whore? Never saw a movie he couldn't spin postively?
You mean, wait, what? by BackwardGalaxy	Feb 22nd, 2008 08:02:31 AM
There's a movie that Harry doesn't like? I am shocked. SHOCKED I SAY! No, really, I really am shocked. I didn't think Harry knew how to write a negative review anymore.
Just watch The Tudors instead. by Knuckleduster	Feb 22nd, 2008 08:08:21 AM
At least they let the ladies get nekkid. P.S. Is it just me , or did Scarlett Johanssen lose all her acting skills the moment she went blonde?
Like Palewook said... by Dasher	Feb 22nd, 2008 08:30:40 AM
What we want to see Natalie and Scarlett doing is not in this movie. But it has been filmed. A Hollywood producer has that film in his private collection and shows it to close friends.
Phonebook on the porch. by Automaton Overlord	Feb 22nd, 2008 08:50:14 AM
Harry thats hilarious! What a great way to phrase unsubtle delivery of information.
It's a bad time for period pieces. by rbatty024	Feb 22nd, 2008 08:54:29 AM
Elizabeth: The Golden Age and now this, it's a damn shame.
I saw an early print of this film and what it's missing by Itchy	Feb 22nd, 2008 09:11:46 AM
was a long, lingering, well-lit, 10 minute scene of a nude Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johanssen chowing each others boxes. Everyone knows french sisters like to hook up. Seriously, Dangerous Liasons sucked too, but it was saved by Uma Thurman's 18 year old tits. Scarlett could have done the same to save this crap fest.
1st negative review! by Mr. JLo	Feb 22nd, 2008 09:59:39 AM
This is the first negative review I've read from him. I'm sure there were others but I can't remember.
CLOUD FORMATIONS by Stollentroll	Feb 22nd, 2008 10:00:13 AM
...were in "The Assasination of Jesse James", too. Not easy to dismiss a film on these grounds.
OH MY FUCKIN GOD. WEVE BEEN INVADED BY... by JBouganim1	Feb 22nd, 2008 10:04:26 AM
BODY SNATCHERS. WHAT DID YOU DO WITH HARRY???????? NOOOOOOOOO PLEASE GOD NO. HE JUST GOT MARRIED. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOO I DONT WANNA DIE
Harry, there's something I'd like you to read: by ledbetter51	Feb 22nd, 2008 10:21:20 AM
http://tinyurl.com/3blx4w Seriously, trying to read your reviews, is starting... to hurt - my, brain.
Itchy by Brody77	Feb 22nd, 2008 10:53:35 AM
That was one of the best lines I've read in a long time!!! Classic!
Can't possibly be worse than Goya's Ghosts by Osmosis Jones	Feb 22nd, 2008 11:01:35 AM
Milos Forman made that...?!
Harry... Damn. Just damn. by Archive	Feb 22nd, 2008 11:04:46 AM
You realize of course, that by bringing up the fact that all the real action - as in people acting on their decisions - happens offscreen, you kill the only praise you had for this film, which was the quality of the script. If it's not on the screen, mate, it's not on the page. With that faint praise, I had kind of hoped that stylistic differences would save this film for me, but that's a massive structural problem, and it's the kind of thing they should have seen all too easily, same as the cinematography. Let alone the continuity errors... Was there a script supervisor in the credits? Gahhh. The one hope you left me with, killed in talkback. You're a big red bastard for teasing me like that, you know.
Well, by Archive	Feb 22nd, 2008 11:08:23 AM
I guess I misunderstood the cloud thing, and continuity was not the issue. Even so... Even so.
And as far as the good reviews go, by Archive	Feb 22nd, 2008 11:10:47 AM
I'd be interested to see some psychology research aroud how people express opinions online. It's a public as it gets, and if you think the perception of mob decision-making doesn't play a huge part, you're nuts.
Period Piece and Lack Lustre Acting by Maui	Feb 22nd, 2008 11:16:57 AM
I can't see how this could possibly be any good at all. Scarlet and Natalie completely suck at acting. We don't need another Marie Antoinette do we? This doesn't even interest me as a DVD rental. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
The Other Boleyn Guy by DarfurOnTheRocks	Feb 22nd, 2008 11:27:05 AM
King Henry the 8th had a secret that NO one knew until now.....
The Other Uwe Boleyn Movie by DarfurOnTheRocks	Feb 22nd, 2008 11:28:16 AM
Gears of War: The Movie coming to a theatre near you soon....
Harry, you mean you didnt like it? by Lloyd Bonafide the Korean War Veteran	Feb 22nd, 2008 11:40:17 AM
Im shocked!!!!
Scarlotte Johanssen Can't Act... by BobParr	Feb 22nd, 2008 12:13:11 PM
at all.
Scarlett Johanssen is a totally fuckable pussy with an actress a by ricarleite	Feb 22nd, 2008 12:33:16 PM
So there.
actress all around. by ricarleite	Feb 22nd, 2008 12:33:58 PM
HEY FAT FUCK! LIMIT THE TEXT FIELD ON THE FORM! PIECE OF SHIT, HARRY! PIECE OF SHIT!
Cloud does not exist in this dojo by Cobra--Kai	Feb 22nd, 2008 12:39:28 PM
TIME-LAPSE CLOUD FORMATIONS have ruined literally hundreds of films for me over the years. It's about time someone put a stop to them. Cumuli Nimbus? Cumuli C**t more like.
I think its funny... by LastDragon	Feb 22nd, 2008 12:46:43 PM
...that Harry gets slagged no matter what kind of review he writes. I've had the misfortune to see this, and he's right. The Tudors may play fast and loose with history, but watch that instead if this is your kind of thing. It's not the worst movie ever, or even this year, but it is one that you can go your whole life without seeing and be just fine. It comes off as a waste of time and talent on everybody's part. You can tell Bana figured that out at some point when they were shooting. As for the cloud thing that Harry's talking about, its not some subtle thing that you have to keep your eyes out for. It's out of place in a period piece, and because it looks like they did it just because, they're no thematic consistency to justify it.
Natalie Portman: way overrated by odysseus	Feb 22nd, 2008 12:48:49 PM

King of England played by Eric Bana - FUCK OFF by Mysterious Yobo	Feb 22nd, 2008 12:53:25 PM
thats some hollywood bullshit. i dont care which king, its still bullshit.
Good idea, Tomo - Let's see a Henry VII movie by Big Jim	Feb 22nd, 2008 01:03:34 PM
He usurps the throne, kills Edward IV's sons and blames it on Richard III. Then marries Edward IV's daughter.
This Sentence by CutAndPaste	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:00:49 PM
"The photography in the outdoor scenes felt video – with over-exposed skies – and I swear to God – sometimes, completely out of place time-lapse CLOUD FORMATIONS – which felt completely and utterly out of place." Has got to be one of the most poorly written things I have read in a while. Congratulations!
A movie that has Portman and Johansen by skywalkerfamily	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:15:52 PM
and he's looking at CLOUD FORMATIONS
Where were Hitlers redeeming features? by Tourist	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:20:11 PM
They still made a couple of good films about him.
Elizabeth is the pinnacle of period pieces by SoylentMean	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:32:29 PM
It's overall presentation showed audiences the world wide the only truly successful formula for a compelling drama of such scale. Of course it has one of my favorite performances by an actress, ever, so I'm biased. I really think Cate Blanchett should have waited for Gwyneth Paltrow after the '99 Oscars and just completely shattered her kneecaps with an aluminum baseball bat. It would have been justifiable. I don't know if anyone on here watches The Soup (formerly Talk Soup) on E!, but they made fun of an interview with Johannson and Portman where Miss Scarlett just stares (perhaps longingly) at Natalie as she talks about how great it was to work with Johannson. It's hilarious and totally insincere. Sounds like the movie is just as hilarious.
"...sometimes, completely out of place... by Big Jim	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:40:20 PM
"...time-lapse CLOUD FORMATIONS – which felt completely and utterly out of place." Well, how else would "completely out of place time-lapse CLOUD FORMATIONS" feel, other than completely out of place. Oh, wait. They felt "completely AND UTTERLY" out of place. I get it now.
"...like molasses in January" by The Dum Guy	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:47:08 PM
Wasn't that line in Romancing the Stone?
Cobra-Kai by eXcommunicated	Feb 22nd, 2008 02:54:47 PM
Kudos, sir! You made my milk come through my nose. :(
Wow, an unfavorable review by Harry! by 2Utah2	Feb 22nd, 2008 03:12:22 PM
This the first negative review Harry has given in 3 yrs (no exaggeration). What about getting a Best of 2007 Harry? Too busy these days I guess.
Harry didn't like it? It must be good, then... by Zardoz	Feb 22nd, 2008 03:20:02 PM
or it could actually suck. (and it really does look like it sucks) With NP and SJH faking lesbo kisses to promote the film, you gotta know something is wrong with the film...
Is there nudity in this? by SkidMarkedUndies	Feb 22nd, 2008 03:24:41 PM
Girl on girl?
WHAT THE DEUCE!!! by Stevie Grant	Feb 22nd, 2008 03:28:07 PM
Harry gave a negative review?
Eric Bana - by DrManhattansUnit	Feb 22nd, 2008 03:55:00 PM
Not as horrifyingly inappropriate as Jonathan Rhys-Meyers. At least.
I gotta agree with Harry.... by Brians Life	Feb 22nd, 2008 04:28:39 PM
Just rent either Elizabeth flick. Neither's great, but surely better than this hollow "epic".
that's too bad by CherryValance	Feb 22nd, 2008 05:39:42 PM
I thought it looked like it would be good. But you know, I felt that way about the Oscar nominated, THE QUEEN. Not that it was as bad as you say this is but quality-wise I thought it was BBC tv movie-ish.
But is there Natalie on Scarlett action? by br1947	Feb 22nd, 2008 05:47:06 PM
a DVD extra perhaps? No? shit.
Harold IS the other Boleyn Girl. by TomBodet	Feb 22nd, 2008 05:48:46 PM
Anyways.
Needs Giant Robots. by TomBodet	Feb 22nd, 2008 05:49:25 PM
You know it does.
No, it needs Natalie on Scarlett action by br1947	Feb 22nd, 2008 05:53:09 PM
although Giant Robots might help, lol
I guess Focus Features didn't pay Harry enough... by mr_sinister7381	Feb 22nd, 2008 06:21:50 PM
for a good review. Oh well, this fucking idiot can't see the genius of Mystery Science Theater 3000, yet extols the "badassery cumtasticnees" of HOSTEL II. Fuck Knowles.
Who cares about this film but Harry those Henry VIII paintings.. by Jbud	Feb 22nd, 2008 06:23:40 PM
were done when he was old and fat. When younger, during this movie's time, he was known for being quite athletic.
BTW- Eric Bana rules all. See MUNICH for details. by mr_sinister7381	Feb 22nd, 2008 06:24:00 PM
That performance validates whatever shit he's done, like "Hulk".
Harry what did you expect? by Series7	Feb 22nd, 2008 08:09:16 PM
Bana, Portman and Johansson? This movie had boring and lame written all over it. Bana hasn't done anything good, Munich sucked, seriously that movie was just boring and the casting was horrible (we have to have authentic actors and ruin their lives for movies like the Kite Runner, but people under the queens rule will do for jewish Israelis?) Maybe it was because I just watched the List right before Munich, but I found nothing good about that movie. Johansson doesn't try to act, and Portman is good for nerds who like little boys. Period pieces only work because of the cast, and when you cast a bunch of bad actors your not going to have a good period piece.
WHERE ARE THE FUCKING TITS. by henrydalton	Feb 22nd, 2008 08:16:39 PM
That is all.
"unredeemable" protagonist & Bana by necgray	Feb 22nd, 2008 10:50:24 PM
There's been some talk herein about Henry being kind of a dick and thus not an appropriate subject of a film. Hitler of course makes a good counter, but I'm reminded of another flick starring Eric Bana himself. It's called Chopper and he is a very unpleasant man. But a great protagonist. And Bana plays him with utmost empathy. You don't agree with or even like Chopper by the end, but damn if you don't respect the guy. Which is largely due to Bana's performance.
necgray by Series7	Feb 22nd, 2008 11:03:55 PM
Yeah Bana was good in Chopper but it ended there.
Coming from the guy who loved Superman Returns by messi	Feb 22nd, 2008 11:54:20 PM
Tits mate. Tits.
Period dramas are for pussies by messi	Feb 22nd, 2008 11:57:04 PM
Fuck this film snob pussy bullshit, give me guns, giant robots, epxlosions and aliens. Why do I want to waste my time with the other shit, I can use it to play football or read SINESTRO CORPS WAR! THE BLACKEST NIGHT!
Harry's giving film lessons by superduper3000	Feb 23rd, 2008 12:19:11 AM
Priceless. Can't wait to see his first feature. Isn't the role of the critic to describe, not lecture? Alas, an Ebert you shall never be...
Out of place cloud formations that are out of place... by IAmJack'sUserID	Feb 23rd, 2008 01:03:46 AM
I swear to God I think you made your point.
Kind of a lame title. by skywalkerfamily	Feb 23rd, 2008 02:11:30 AM
I'll take the Boylen girl. Which one? The other one? No. The OTHEr Boylen Girl!
Oh Bana's okay. by TomBodet	Feb 23rd, 2008 06:39:12 AM
He was good in Troy-yes I said it-he was decent(if miscast) in Hulk, he was alright in Munich though I thought that thing fell apart the last third or so too. I picture a Brendan Gleesan/Brian Dennehy type(yes I know Dennehy isn't british) as Henry the 8th. Scarlet-well she's okay but I don't think either her or Padme will be raking in the Oscars too soon at the rates they are going. I think the Giant Robots would have made this interesting, myself....
KNOW WHAT ELSE WAS FLAT, OVER-ACTED, AND LAME? by kgerm	Feb 23rd, 2008 06:57:21 AM
How's about Spiderman 3? Or, um, FANTASTIC FOUR 2. FUCK!
Fuck you all your making Bana angry by _SnakePlissken_	Feb 23rd, 2008 08:18:08 AM
,,, you won't like him when he's angry Munic owns Chopper owns
GIANT ROBOTS SUCK. by Gamerra_Presley	Feb 23rd, 2008 08:24:09 AM
That is all.
Headgeek, you said by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Feb 23rd, 2008 08:36:19 AM
"The film is a washed up whale. Everyone that was at the screening that I talked to disliked it. It was just flat, over-acted and lame." But a few days earlier you're singing the praises of Will Ferrell. To each their own I guess, but I think you have this quote in the wrong review.
Creepy Thin Man by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Feb 23rd, 2008 08:39:11 AM
Portman is Israeli. Bana is Australian. Johansson is American. However, in regards to other films your point is well noted. By the way if you hate having an American play this role, Johansson is going to play Mary, Queen of Scots according to IMDB
Speaking of English characters in English roles by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Feb 23rd, 2008 08:44:37 AM
If they don't leave this scene out of Half Blood Prince I would to see the Potter universe and Love Actually universe collide with Hugh Grant as the prime minister. Wishful thinking I guess
SHOULDA CAST HARRY AS HENRY!!! by Spoiler_Man	Feb 23rd, 2008 09:33:24 AM
HE HE!
The Creepy Thin Man by Pariah74	Feb 23rd, 2008 09:55:46 AM
You they cast Brits as Americans just as often, right? Yeah, they can usually pull of the accent...but when they can't it's like nails on the chalk board to me.
another potentially good review ruined by ArcadianDS	Feb 23rd, 2008 10:57:26 AM
with juvenile sex references. Writers use these kinds of comments when they lack confidence in their skills as a writer to convey passion and meaning with their words. They shoehorn profanity into their writing and pepper it with junior high quality sexual innuendo as a way to ensure that people will read their words and be moved emotionally by them. Unfortunately, if Harry's reviews were food, they would be the diet soda and snickers bars of cuisine - all empty calories and fast dissolving sugars. No meat. No Starch. Mature as a writer and develop some confidence in your work, Harry. This is why, after all these years, you're still self-publishing on your own website.
Bana, Portman and Johansson in a meidocre film? by Luscious.868	Feb 23rd, 2008 10:58:11 AM
No way. What a surprise. As if every film they've starred in has been masterpiece. The Star Wars Prequels, The Island, The Hulk. Fucking Masterpieces!
HARRY PLEASE by mfcorleone	Feb 23rd, 2008 12:47:27 PM
Stop using so many fucking hyphens, that's for GED kids who can't use punctuation. I know your carby digits can rach the comma key, it's CLOSER than the hyphen. Stop swearing to God so much too.
Why Natalie Portman?? by thelordofhell	Feb 23rd, 2008 01:22:46 PM
Was Thora Birch not available? Why can't we have an ADULT Ghost World reunion so I won't feel like a creep staring at the girls in that film.
Creepy Thin Man, you're an idiot. by IAmJack'sUserID	Feb 23rd, 2008 01:50:43 PM
I like how you think its stupid if an American can speak with a British accent he/she will be fine playing British, but its ok if a Brit plays an American. You're a fucking hypocrite.
Yeeks by Galva	Feb 23rd, 2008 02:27:33 PM
The review was helpful, but Harry- you really need to proofread. Re-using the same words several times within the same paragraph, bad sentence structure, random fuckin' swear words... did ya write this just up in 20 minutes just before you went to bed?
ITS PG-13 LAME by deliciouscowbell	Feb 23rd, 2008 03:29:27 PM
i thought it was gonna be a rated r fuck fest fuckin lame fuck whoever made that decision
The Creepy thin man is right by _SnakePlissken_	Feb 23rd, 2008 04:33:21 PM
i found his point before to be spot on,
Creepy Thin Man has a point. by Stevie Grant	Feb 23rd, 2008 05:28:36 PM
In addition, the Brit TB'ers seem to have an inferiority complex. Americans don't care if a Brit plays an American, but cast and American as a Brit... all hell breaks loose.
Oh... Creepy Thin Man, by Stevie Grant	Feb 23rd, 2008 05:35:25 PM
talent doesn't matter when you look like Portman or Johansson. Goddamn... you watch them, not the movie they're in.
Creepy Thin Man, by Stevie Grant	Feb 23rd, 2008 05:49:32 PM
you got cutoff, but I got your drift, and a semi.
Bana - Dead face, dead eyes, crap actors by Mysterious Yobo	Feb 23rd, 2008 06:02:46 PM
chopper was a fluke. or he just cant act when he loses weight and cant get chicks or acting roles when he puts it on. its a kind of catch 22. shit actor and get chicks, or good actor and no chicks.
Bana's gonna be in the new Trek movie! by skywalkerfamily	Feb 23rd, 2008 06:48:37 PM
He's gonna own you as a Romulan!
Spirit Award winners now in: by Pennsy	Feb 23rd, 2008 08:31:54 PM
Best Picture - Juno Director - Julian Schnabel, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" Actor - Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Savages Actress - Ellen Page, Juno Supporting Actor - Chiwetel Ejiofor, Talk To Me Supporting Actress - Cate Blanchett, I'm Not There Screenplay - Tamara Jenkins, The Savages First Screenplay - Diablo Cody,Juno First Feature - The Lookout Cinematography - Janusz Kaminski, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly Documentary - Crazy Love Foreign Film - Once Someone to Watch Award - Rahmin Bahrmani, Chop Shop Truer than Fiction Award - Neil Kopp (Paranoid Park, Old Joy) Producers Award - Laura Dunn, The Unforeseen John Cassavetes Award (best feature under 500,000 - August Evening WAR JUNO TOMORROW NIGHT!
Juno sucks by Series7	Feb 23rd, 2008 10:45:41 PM
And if you like it, you live in your mothers basement. HAHAHAH Jimmy Kimmel's unnecessary censorship with Mr. Rogers (WHO!!! does not have Marine tattoos all over his arms and thats why he wears sweaters. Thanks for the lie Harry). Which was funnier then entirety of Juno, AK. Anyways I saw something on this post I wanted to make a geek knock down about but then I got distracted. Which is the way I feel about this movie. I was watching this trailer then some dust started floating in the room and it seemed a lot more exciting.
Oh yeah by Series7	Feb 23rd, 2008 10:48:02 PM
HARRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When is the Gigantor movie coming to DVD????????? Or is it going to go the way of the Signal, and pop up randomly on hipster critics reviews till the end of time. I want Giant Robots!!!!!!!!!
Series7... by Stevie Grant	Feb 23rd, 2008 11:36:18 PM
if Juno hadn't blown up... you know it would have been a massive indie classic. But, it did blow up. So, Juno faces backlash. Small, small, man. At least qualify what you say.
JUNO will SWEEP OSCARS by skywalkerfamily	Feb 24th, 2008 01:34:32 AM
Oscars love movies about pregnant princesses.
Harry finally gives a negative review? by irc-Hollywood	Feb 24th, 2008 02:10:32 AM
seriously, this feels like the first negative review from Harry in like 2 years. Is the apocalypse nye?
"Chopper was a fluke" by _SnakePlissken_	Feb 24th, 2008 04:16:50 AM
get fucked...he can act, he was a genius as "Poita" on Full Frontal
Forget the flogging on Eric Bana... by artyfufkin	Feb 24th, 2008 06:07:55 AM
You sad fucks...go and rent "Chopper" and try and get a good nights sleep afterwards. The guy can act. And no, this is not his Mum posting for him.
Creepy Thin Man, no offense taken by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Feb 24th, 2008 07:13:52 AM
I knew what you meant. I knew you would have a cow when you heard it. Can't say I blame you. I don't hate Johannson, but I think there are a myriad of actresses who could have been chosen. I think they were going for the eye candy factor. I'm not saying she can't grow as an actress, but I don't think the time is right for a role like that for her.
Series7-I agree--GIANT ROBOTS!!!! by TomBodet	Feb 24th, 2008 07:28:15 AM
The more, the better. Word.
Are there ANY hot chicks who can REALLY act today? by conspiracy	Feb 24th, 2008 10:37:34 AM
Neither one of these tarts are really "actresses" and neither are so many other hot chicks in Hollywood. Girls like this are always best in movies in which they are half dressed and overtly sexual. Covering them up and expecting them to emote, especially in a period piece, is simply begging for mediocrity. Now if this had been Natalie and Scarlett in an NC-17 remake of "I Spit on Your Grave"...then you'd have something these girls could pull off.
Creepy Thin Man, You ARE A Fucking Idiot by Rebeck2	Feb 24th, 2008 01:58:30 PM
And an English snob, and too jingoistic to be even semi-aware of your own ridiculous ignorance. Do you realize how stupid you sound? Any British actress can play American, but US actresses are just genetically inferior. Oh shut the fuck up. Where do I begin to prove your theory is the total crapola it is? Huh, lemme see, ever hear of an obscure actress named Meryl Streep? No? Okay. Helena Bonham Carter is fine in Fight Club, but I hardly count it as one of the great performances of the century as you clearly do. She's doing a cartoon parody of a woman and a Yank accent. Emma Thompson, a great actress, never could get the full hang of the accent. Kate Winslet has a terrible accent in Titanic, and it was a mystery to me why they didn't just let her be English. Later she did Eternal Sunshine and she had gotten better, but she still sounds just that little bit odd. Many English actors (Aussies and Kiwis are soooo much better at it) cannot play convincing Americans and sound silly talking through their noses and flattening vowels into tortillas. It's like if we imitated you by going..."Pip pip! I do say!" Oh, and what's wrong with Gwyneth Paltrow's performances in Emma or Shakespeare In Love?? Nothing, except you're pissed that English actresses got passed over. Oh and she showed emotion in her Oscar speech - how dreadfully base! Meanwhile, Brits play Batman and US presidents and America doesn't so much as blink. You really do have a fucking inferiority complex - or is it a SUPERIORITY complex?? You think if someone comes from your country that just automatically makes them a better actor? Imagine if an American came on here and said that. Who's the nationalistic xenophobic twat? Stick with your own film industry if you're so afraid of ferr-in-ers. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot, you don't have a film industry.
Why is Collin Ferrrel an actor? by skywalkerfamily	Feb 24th, 2008 02:58:27 PM
He sucks.
Why is Collin Ferrrel an actor? by Giant Ape Balls	Feb 24th, 2008 04:08:22 PM
Because actors get the girls.
well sith kicked ass by deliciouscowbell	Feb 24th, 2008 08:59:51 PM
dont know about hulk, menace, and the piece of shit that was closer. fuckin awful movie.
They didn't tribute Roy? by Abominable Snowcone	Feb 25th, 2008 08:04:42 AM
That's not right.
The commercial looked like crap by Abominable Snowcone	Feb 25th, 2008 10:04:03 AM
even with Natalie. I mean, no one even cares about the FIRST Bolyn girl.
Scarlett's Breast and Natalie's Butt by Alex Mack	Feb 26th, 2008 02:38:08 AM
You're a producer. You've just been told you get to have this generation's greatest Breast(scarlett) and Butt(natalie) in your movie. Now...how can anyone screw up this film? Apparently it happened.
Wow, Okay by Rebeck2	Feb 26th, 2008 12:33:52 PM
My apologies. You're that rare thing, a snob from Canada. And a hopeless anglophile - which I am as well. But I still think your rank generalizations are just stupid. First of all, I don't remember this second "cuming" of Christ in the form of clothed stripper Jessica Alba. (Sin City, Fight Club...man, you really need to get out more, cinematically speaking - for a snob, you have very low-brow taste) I think everyone agrees she's megahot, but other than that I haven't heard anyone call her the next Streep. And you know what, she may get better. Gasp! You mean it's possible that people will improve into "serious" actors or actresses later in life?? And I happen to think Johansson and Portman are both on their way to being excellent actresses. Give them time, asshole. Why are you ready to have them killed? What's the big rush? Portman especially seems to have great control of her "instrument" (yeah yeah, insert dirty joke here) and have some real openness and emotion. I don't hold the Star Wars movies against, because George Lucas makes EVERYONE into a bad actor. It's his special talent. But there are also American actresses that are lesser-known, toiling in independent movies, etc, and who are you to write them all off because of their nationality? It's just silly. And do you think everyone working on Broadway is British? Whatever, dude. You got some kind of major chip on your shoulder, or else you just can't admit it when you make an unsupportable argument. Either way: fuck you too.
say what you will about this movie... by lizzurdking	Feb 26th, 2008 02:46:37 PM
but don't you DARE speak ill of crusty, dirty sock masturbation! ahhhh that's the stuff!!
You suck, Harry by Bob Dobbs	Feb 28th, 2008 08:48:05 AM
A bad review from HeadShill? What's this? Didn't the studio acquiesce to your demands for schwag and sex in exchange for a good review this time?
by carneguisada	Feb 28th, 2008 11:54:50 AM
If it wasn't an indie type thing (clearly it was not) why did they LET him make such a "bad movie?" How did it HAPPEN? With all those producers breathing down his neck, all the nit-picking about who's so fancy and WORTHY to be allowed to get their paws on their expensive movie. How does this happen? I thought that was the POINT of all the ridiculous hoops Hollywood with the capital H makes people jump through? Intersting review, Harry. Maybe you should be a director? And I mean that un-sarcastically. Maybe you are and I'm grossly uninformed... (Watched The Faculty the other day! Was fun to see you, Mr. Knowles!)
DRATH are you kidding? by ACE NY	Mar 3rd, 2008 08:58:52 AM
"If I remember Anne of a Thousand Days, it was not terribly cinematic either by today's standards (or then actually), though it did let it's actors shine which may be more than this does." Anne of a Thousand Days did get nominated for 10 academy awards, one of which was cinematography. It was a lush and beautiful film which did take some liberties with the history (it did have to compress 9 years in 3 hours after all), most Tudor historians have few quibbles with it. Genevieve Bujold set the standard for Anne Boleyn. I was not happy with the Other Boleyn Girl. The book had a lot to play with since not much is known about Mary Boleyn. The book was a fun read but no masterpiece. The movie not only didn't follow history very well (which it was fiction, not a documentary) but didn't even follow the book. I realize they had to make choices, I just think they made some very bad ones. The Showtime series The Tudors is so off and so bad that they should have just called it The Jones's or something. I agree with Harry about missing the mark on Henry VIII. Henry's looks are widely known and they should have at least made him a red head. When he first met Anne, he was still youngish and good looking. I also think they really missed the mark on Anne. She was not a traditional beauty and it was her personality that set her apart, something that Bujold captured perfectly and Portman just didn't have the acting chops to pull off - the girl in the Tudors is so off the mark it's not worth comment.
Despite incredible historical inaccuracies, the Tudors is still by SCYTHEOFLUNA	Mar 14th, 2008 11:32:26 AM
The show may not be rooted in historical fact, but very few dramatizations of history are. The Tudors succeeds in being period eye candy with an interesting story, but fails to cross the line into something your kid could use as research for an accurate report on Henry the 8th. Sure it bothered me seeing Henry target practice with a musket when they hadn't been invented at that time, but I got past that, and the show is good mindless fun if you can accept that it's not factual in the least. As for this film, I was hoping it could maybe have the best of both worlds, but clearly that's not the case. I'm not sure what the whole actress/accent debate is about. Portman pulled off a very convincing accent in V For Vendetta in my opinion, but she's an actress, not a fucking linguist. If you're going to get bent out of shape over something like that, well, don't go to movies. People in movies are totally faking it. They're actors. That's their job, to pretend. Suspend your disbelief, and get over yourselves. There are plenty of actors who are really good at that kind of stuff so if you just can't take an accent that isn't perfect watch their stuff, as it's pretty close. Jamie Bamber from Battlestar Galactica, Guy Pearce and Christian Bale are all good examples.
The Tudors is inaccurate but entertaining. by SCYTHEOFLUNA	Mar 14th, 2008 11:34:53 AM
Why does it let you keep typing in the subject line when you've run out of room?
Really AlexMack? by SCYTHEOFLUNA	Mar 14th, 2008 11:47:25 AM
"Breasts and ass" is all you got out of this? That's your meaningful addition to the discussion? I've got nothing against either of them just for the record, and I would in no way dispute the fact that Scarlett Johansen and Natalie Portman are incredibly attractive and do indeed possess those very assets, but are you really such a pig that you would reduce these two performers to mere anatomical portions? Are you really that much of a loser? Despite an obvious miss on this film, these women are capable performers, and you're a real fuckwad for being so disrespectful. If you're fixated on tits and ass go rent some porn, as those women are at least voluntarily being objectified. Grow the hell up. It's people like you that make the rest of us guys have to work twice as hard to prove to women that we aren't misogynistic sexist douchebags. I don't know if anybody has told you but the ladies aren't fond of that shit. Maybe if you weren't so busy fantasizing about Scarlett Johansen's breasts you'd know that.
Thank you, GIANT APE BALLS! by HenryVIII	Mar 17th, 2008 12:39:38 PM
Your "Stud Muffin" post up there saved me alot of time typing all that out. (BTW - Yes, this really is my UNCHANGED screen name - because I'm an actor who regularly plays that role.I'm well over six feet tall with a dark beard. Definitely not the "fat guy with a turkey leg" persona most people believe in. )
Good Lord! Harry's grammar is fucking atrocious! by GimpInMyPants	Mar 18th, 2008 05:00:43 PM
Harry is infamous for his lack of writing skills but this article in particular was something that needed to be comment on. Anyway, sad to hear the movie sucks. I was looking forward to it.
I love Natalie more than anyone. by Queerbait	Apr 19th, 2008 12:38:32 PM
No, I'm not a stawker, I just got deese feelins, ya know? I saw her in some movie where she cries while the beginning music credits are goin, & I knew a star was born. Oh yeah, I also like Sally Struthers & Yan Can Cook, but just the show, oh and I really miss Gimme A Break w/ Nell Carter. Man, back then listening to Kraftwerk was so fresh & inspiring to me, what happened to those days guys?
Free Zone by childerolandusa	Apr 26th, 2008 07:40:02 PM
That film with her crying in the credits is called 'Free Zone'
I SAW SOMETHING ABOUT SEXUAL FRUSTRATION BEING SOLVED by moseley asst	May 4th, 2008 04:12:09 PM
I saw the trailer for a new movie about a man who takes over the world. He had a pet pig and he was dressed in a military uniform. He amde everyone happy. Did anyone else see it? it was called dictatormovie I think.

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