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Pacing.
by Junior Frenger
Feb 17th, 2008
05:09:39 PM
The pacing is odd... still some great footage in the trailer. It feels like Indiana Jones for the most part.
Seems good but...
by LitCrit621
Feb 17th, 2008
05:12:29 PM
...Indy just seems so old at times, like an rugged, adventuring Grandpa Simpson.
I'M I THE ONLY ONE DISSAPOINTED BY THE LACK OF.... OLD SCHOOL!!!
by Greigy Just Wanted To Say
Feb 17th, 2008
05:16:21 PM
Indy and CGI... just isn't right is it... where's all that fantastic in camera action stuff from Raiders... not the Industrial Light and Tragic from Temple and Crusade...
LeBoeuf Ruins Indy IV
by jordanlgta
Feb 17th, 2008
05:16:42 PM
I predict this. I don't understand why everyone is so happy to have the Disney kid actor in such a big movie.
Greigy - Cars Were Miniatures
by jordanlgta
Feb 17th, 2008
05:17:21 PM
The shot where the vehicles crash...that's miniatures.
Are we sure the flag was added for the US version?
by zacdilone
Feb 17th, 2008
05:19:13 PM
It would make more sense to me if it was removed from the international version. They hate us overseas.
I agree with you Moriarty, I was excited as I watched it...
by NoPIX
Feb 17th, 2008
05:19:19 PM
but then I realized that it was just OK. You saying the editing is funky makes complete sense to me now. On a side note, I'm still a little worried about Janusz Kaminski filming this. I don't feel like harping on his same old lighting scheme right now. I just want it to look like the INDY I've come to know.
mpaa is a crazy group
by prunkhaft
Feb 17th, 2008
05:19:30 PM
thanks for hunting down the good trailers, I really thought the new trailer was great and it got me super excited to see this, so having a pristine version is a nice thing. How could you not love the first silhouette of Indy with his hat? Man that got me going!
jordanlgta
by Greigy Just Wanted To Say
Feb 17th, 2008
05:20:42 PM
Those were individual shots not whole action set pieces.... rolla coaster in the mine... zeppelin and plane fiasco from crusade... just lacks that real old fashioned feel from Raiders and it looks like that's the route they've gone down for crystal skulls
Greigy
by jordanlgta
Feb 17th, 2008
05:23:41 PM
Give it time and let's judge it when the full film comes out.
Don't like Shia?
by The Funketeer
Feb 17th, 2008
05:25:57 PM
Watch the 2nd season of Project Greenlight. The kid cracks me up.
Agree, sort of iconic, but not really
by wilsonfisk89
Feb 17th, 2008
05:26:12 PM
a little matter of fact, not enough wow factor
the star was prequels will be great too
by Rupee88
Feb 17th, 2008
05:27:59 PM
lol
Jack Valenti would not have put up with this.
by Robstar
Feb 17th, 2008
05:28:51 PM
Or not, who knows. It could have very well been some guy chopping it together who changed it....or total mpaa censorship. And although it does cheapen the experience of seeing something you've waited years for, I think it's at least better than the Last Crusade trailer. No voice-over. No "keeping up with the joneses"....shudder.
Odd
by DrDan
Feb 17th, 2008
05:30:40 PM
If we judged all movies by their trailers, nobody would have seen Fight Club.
Here we go again!
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 17th, 2008
05:33:56 PM
Guns a plenty!
What bugs me about the trailer
by The Funketeer
Feb 17th, 2008
05:39:59 PM
is the music. The way it ends is really awkward especially after they let it build up so well.
"Not as easy as it used to be...."
by chromedome
Feb 17th, 2008
05:43:33 PM
works for me!
different angles?
by Bouncy X
Feb 17th, 2008
05:48:14 PM
i just watched Raiders yesterday and Temple of Doom today and those are indeed the same exact shots. Although the picture was much nicer than my DVDs....hmmm, have they already been prepped for the HiDef world?
I think US flag was removed from INTERNATIONAL TRAILER
by wackybantha
Feb 17th, 2008
05:49:41 PM
...as to not annoy the international audience considering the way america has been seen in the past 7 years or so.
I Think its going to suck ..
by Zerofun
Feb 17th, 2008
05:51:51 PM
It has a crappy generic feel ... judging form the trailer .. lucas is a douche.. maybe speilberg can save it?
"The freakin' boulder-sized version."
by Pennsy
Feb 17th, 2008
05:54:03 PM
Good one, Mori. I do hope this is a return to good form for all concerned.
I agree with you
by HoldingTheVigil
Feb 17th, 2008
05:57:10 PM
I have extremely high hopes for the movie, but I think the trailer was too clean and quippy. What made the original movies so good was the gritty atmosphere mixed with quippy reactions. We only got the reactions in the trailer. Time will tell if this movie satisfies our memories. But so long as it's better than Temple of Doom, that's all that matters...and that shouldn't be hard.
Morty, you're a good guy ...
by Dr.Poots
Feb 17th, 2008
05:58:15 PM
Honestly, thanks for the links. And I agree wholeheartedly with the backwards antics of the MPAA. The problem I think a certain percentage of the talkbackers had with what you said about the trailer proper was that you seem to be looking for a perfection that cannot exist.

The original Raiders trailer featured nothing more than clips of the movie - that's all. And that's really all that one can expect from a trailer, let alone a teaser. And this is not the first time that someone from this site reviewed a trailer and blew it off, only to rave about the picture later.

I'm not saying that you'll love or hate Crystal Skull, but I can't quite get behind the whole 'lacklusterness' of the presented trailer.

Please understand, however, that 9 times out of 10, I respect your work.

Note for the naysayers:
by SpencerTrilby
Feb 17th, 2008
06:04:07 PM
Tintin has always been the Beard's biggest influence while shooting Raiders. And this teaser has "TINTIN" written all over it.

I know it's a huge gamble to trust Lucas AGAIN after the prequels. I still have a few doubts myself. But this is looking like a hell of a fun ride guys! The more I see it, the more I'm thinking it's gonna give TDK a run for his money and end up being the second biggest hit of the summer after Nolan's flick.

lucas cgi crapfest
by thelastoutsider
Feb 17th, 2008
06:04:12 PM
typical george lucas cgi crapfest, so he ruines the next franchise, have you also heard of the rumor that jar jar binks has a cameo?? and why does the music stop at the end, than starts again, and than it's over? and why is even every *beep* background cgi? pleace lucas, use your millions for liposuction but don't ruin this movie. i warn you, i will set the ranch on fire!
Shia will be the next Jar Jar
by hallmitchell
Feb 17th, 2008
06:17:37 PM
Have you heard his name? Mutt Williams. I'm now not considering going.
Half of the MPAA rules are outdated...
by sonnyfern
Feb 17th, 2008
06:19:35 PM
I think it's time for them to get with the times..
Thanks Mori!
by hegele
Feb 17th, 2008
06:26:09 PM
Much appreciated!
Way to go, Mo.
by Pipple
Feb 17th, 2008
06:31:57 PM
But fuck you, the trailer was fucking awesome even with the wobbly magic pants.
Getting hate 'cause you don't love the trailer?
by Merriman Lyon
Feb 17th, 2008
06:32:23 PM
Yup, I get that all the time. That'll be the Lucas apologists all right. Here's another link that'll refresh everyone's memories - this time to a teaser trailer for another little Lucasfilm number called 'The Phantom Menace'. Looks amazing, doesn't it? Ah, sweet deception...

http://www.star wars.com/episode-i/release/tra iler/teaser.html

May have to take out spaces

Whether the American flag was put in or taken out, the real question is: why is it included in the first place? I mean, WTF? Does Spielberg think he needs to push the patriot button to make Americans see this movie? Why can't the movie stand up on its own two feet? The more they show of this movie, the more it stinks.

I remember the same thing way back with TPM. Despite the exciting trailer, I started to get suspicious about some of the information that was filtering out. I ended up making the call BEFORE TPM's release that (I quote) "this looks like it's going to be a gigantic turkey"). Said it right here on AICN - under a different name. Later, I got to say, 'I told you so' to the apologists. And now history is repeating itself because I'm making the same call right now. Mark my words: Indy and the Crystal Skull is going to be a giant holiday fowl, farmyard variety. You heard it right here.

"This one's about the size of Short Round"
by Bobo_Vision
Feb 17th, 2008
06:34:44 PM
I thought that meant that the trailer would reference and talk about Short Round's size and stature. You can imagine my disappointment.
I agree with Moriarty
by DARTH VOODOO
Feb 17th, 2008
06:36:45 PM
Don't get me wrong I can't wait for the movie, but the trailer was just ok at best. Moriarty is right in regards to the way it was cut. Also, why waste so much time with old footage?
Red Scare Era
by Red Shirt
Feb 17th, 2008
06:39:47 PM
Please people, remember the jingoism that was cold war era USA. THAT is why there is an American Flag in the trailer, as an iconic reminder of the era the film is set in. That's all. Blob? Red Scare flick. Invasion of Body Snatchers. Natch, the same!
Merriman: who cares about the goddamn flag?
by SpencerTrilby
Feb 17th, 2008
06:44:38 PM
The scene looks like it takes place in New Mexico, and is edited between reminders of foreign adventures (complete with a map shot like in the old days) and some Commie action. It needed some basic location setting, and they went with the flag. What's so disgusting about that? I'm not even american, I live in Europe and I dislike the current political climate (not to mention the leadership) in the US of A... but C'MON it is just a trailer for Indiana Jones, not some propaganda endorsed by bullshit politicians. Wise up.

Besides, your instincts may have led you to rightfully smell the turd back in '99, but some people - believe it or not - loved TPM. And just because it worked nine years ago for a movie directed by Lucas, doesn't mean your crystal ball will work for Spielberg's flick next spring.

Not to mention that the energy you spend trying to make a point out of mere conjectures and opinions (when not pissing at the face of the people who disagree with you) makes me wonder if, back in '99 as well as today, you just didn't made up your mind before even seeing the damn flick...

If you have the entire John Williams score available...
by SkinJob69
Feb 17th, 2008
06:48:26 PM
Why the hell would you not use it for the trailer? Agree with above poster that "The Map Room" would have been appropriate to start. Why use some chintzy intro music by another artist? Baffling.
Shia is the new Jar Jar...
by poeticwarriorII
Feb 17th, 2008
06:48:57 PM
annoying and stupid unless your 6 or retarded. And once again CGI fucks up another movie on top of everything else. Can someone please retire that fat chinless fuck before he does another fucking prequel story? This looks like it's verging on shitty and/or deflating to the franchise. It's three steps back and I bet they're hoping for a spin-off with Shia La Shitface.
Yes no JW was baffling...
by poeticwarriorII
Feb 17th, 2008
06:51:12 PM
bordering on fucked up. Why would anyone in their right mind choose to use some shit pulled out of an elevator cd player over JW??? The bad decisions coming out of California continue to mount.
Heads up. The 80s are over.
by Laserbrain
Feb 17th, 2008
06:54:47 PM
This film will *not* be exactly like the Indy movies of old. Directors change, actors age, DOPs retire, film stocks get faster, color grading procedures go digital, special effects technologies *evolve*. Time. Marches. On. If this "doesn't look like" an Indiana Jones film to you, if the trailer didn't give you "chills" or butterflies in the stomach or sent you a dozen long stemmed roses or looked too much like something made in the year 2008 (find the nearest calendar and check the date, you may be shocked) then maybe you just oughta spend May 22 at home washing your hands five thousand times with a pad of steel wool til the tips weep blood. That at least will be an event you can exert some control over.
At least Shia dropped the jewfro
by SpencerTrilby
Feb 17th, 2008
06:55:15 PM
I have nothing else to say about him. I like the guy and give him a chance. You should too. If he sucks in the movie, at least he'll get a beating for the years to come around here. It could actually be fun, but I'm not dissing him until I see him spoil a movie; the kid pretty much saved Bayformers from total lameness as far as I'm concerned.
And Megan Fox's sweaty bod too.
by SpencerTrilby
Feb 17th, 2008
06:56:01 PM
for good measure
Thanks Laserbrain
by SpencerTrilby
Feb 17th, 2008
06:58:04 PM
at least some sense, and facts, in this TB. About time.
American flag: disgusting??
by Merriman Lyon
Feb 17th, 2008
07:01:21 PM
I never said I was disgusted by the American flag. Is there a reason why I should be? I just don't see the point of putting it in the trailer - unless your movie is so weak that you have to generate good will with a cheap shot like appealing to people's patriotism - i.e. if you don't see this movie, you're a traitor.

But then, I don't see the point of quite a lot of things in the trailer. In any case, all the information on this movie (which has been listed by me and others countless times) points to this being a turkey. Not one sensible decision has been made by the producers of this movie so far. So no, I don't think my crystal ball has failed me. Think about it, the odds are stacked heavily in favour of my prediction coming true. After all, it's Lucas! Are you seriously suggesting that the odds are in favour of this movie being good?

Everyone's just pissed they can't identify this indy
by Pipple
Feb 17th, 2008
07:08:49 PM
"generic" "ok" "underwhelming" Its funny most people hate Temple of Doom yet it's everything they actually want indy to be, wacky, over the top, creative, epic etc... that's what people expected but we got a trailer showing Indy more in the vain he started in, in the first place. Reserved, more realistic. Ooops.
Dammit!
by Red Shirt
Feb 17th, 2008
07:09:21 PM
They put the American Flag in there to REMIND THE VIEWERS OF THE RED SCARE ERA THE FILM IS SET IT. THERE ARE "NO COMMIE/BETTER DEAD THAN RED" PROTESTS AT THE COLLEGE AT THE TOP OF THE FILM, THE BADDIE IS AN RUSSIAN AGENT ETC. Please, enough with the "flag" crap! Save your anger for the crapfest that will be tonight's KNIGHT RIDER. :(
Merriman - Spencer makes a good point
by Laserbrain
Feb 17th, 2008
07:24:46 PM
That one location seems to be a US Army base means it is not unreasonable to see an American flag flapping there. I don't believe it's jingoistic at all. It's an establishing shot, that's all.
I agree
by Red Shirt
Feb 17th, 2008
07:25:01 PM
The trailer is not very good. Bad music choices, poor shot selection, grips holding lights (in the shot!), bad CGI (US trailer version), bad music editing, nary a peep out of Marion, et cetera. Why not build up the "Hey, look it's that lady from the first movie" angle. It's not quite teaser, not quite trailer...in the words of Bart Simpson, it's "craptastic." I hope The Beard waved more influence than Baron Papanoida, during the shoot!
Merriman Lyon, exagerate much?
by raw_bean
Feb 17th, 2008
07:30:31 PM
"Not one sensible decision has been made by the producers of this movie so far."

No sensible decisions, like bringing Marion back, or casting actors of the quality of Cate Blanchett and Ray Winstone?

I think this, at best, will be a T3 situation
by The Mothman
Feb 17th, 2008
07:33:33 PM
Something that may, and I stress may, have its moments, but does not in any way inhabit the same universe as the other films. How can it? The people involved are not exactly in form, and the very fact that Indy 4 got made smacks of desperation. "We're doing this for the fans"? Seems more to me like "we're doing this because, well, what else is there to do?"
In Vanity Fair, Lucas talked about 50s sci fi being the template
by Rev. Slappy
Feb 17th, 2008
07:34:46 PM
I think that's a great idea, using 50s sci fi B movies as the template for this one as they used 30s serials for the parts 1 - 4.
And yes
by Red Shirt
Feb 17th, 2008
07:35:37 PM
50's sci-fi are LARGELY red scare in their feel and tone...
"I just hate being coddled by the ratings board"
by chrth
Feb 17th, 2008
07:36:07 PM
Mori prefers being coddled by groups opposed to graphic billboards

Zing!

Jack Valenti's corpse has chosen HD-DVD and here's why
by Red Shirt
Feb 17th, 2008
07:39:14 PM
Nah, he didn't really.
I'm just open-minded, Merriman
by SpencerTrilby
Feb 17th, 2008
07:40:49 PM
of course Lucas went horribly wrong over the past 25 years. But Spielberg - albeit non exempt of screwing the pooch (Lost World, The Terminal, A.I are some of my least favorite Spielby flicks) - is still the director until further notice. He calls the shot, and is still master in his own house. The Indy flicks were always more Spielberg's than Lucas'. See my fist comment in this TB about the Tintin connection.

That being said, I acknowledge the weird choices in this teaser (the hat shot is funkily slowed down, some CGI needs to be fixed, the music is a bit off... not to mention the obsolescence of MPAA's decisions) BUT I'm still expecting good things out of this. Call me naive or anything. I prefer naiveté over being jaded. A question of nature. Or nurture? Your call.

fist comment?
by Red Shirt
Feb 17th, 2008
07:42:19 PM
ouch, what kind of movie did they make here!?!??!!
Merriman-
by Laserbrain
Feb 17th, 2008
07:56:59 PM
For every valid point you make about this film's chances of being a turkey you undermine yourself immediately with hyperbolic assumptions that, because Lucas made the PT, "Skull" MUST be terrible. You dismiss Spielberg's oeuvre of the last 30 years out-of-hand. You forget that Lucas collaborated with four other screenwriters and didn't just shit this screenplay out by himself. Lucas' involvement with this film is demonstrably, irrefutably *less* than that he had on the prequels. The situation is not identical. This is not 1999 all over again (at least not yet anyway). I am a grown adult. My eyes are open on this one. My life no longer revolves around geek interests to the extent that I feel my childhood will be raped by this film's failure. I have perspective. Please try to find some for yourself because all you are managing to do here is take a long steaming piss on a lot of people's fun.
Now I must go to work.
by Laserbrain
Feb 17th, 2008
08:02:41 PM
Excuse any late replies. Cheers.
Remember.
by Munro Kelly
Feb 17th, 2008
08:06:46 PM
Remember that they are making this one for the fans. They are also making it to have fun. Spielberg, Lucas and Ford are in a much different place in life than when they made Raiders. Films often reflect the mentality of it' creators. They also reflect the times they were made in and the tools and techniques available. I belive that when Steven set out to do the film, he didn't want to use much digital fx. But along the way he realised that he might be needlesly holding himself back by not embracing the power of digital. Digital isnt just CGI, it's removing cables on stuntman, erasing support equiptment and painting out microphones and lights. Even in 89 when crusade came out, it was still a big deal to have a moving camera during a vfx shot. Today it's fairly easy and inexpensive. I want this to be good, just as much as anyone here. I just have to understand that it's a different time and the people behind the scenes have changed. I already know that Steven, George and Harrison will wink at camera and nudge us in our sides from time to time, I'm cool with it....... just as long as Agent Spalko doesnt scream at her men: "Idiots, this isn't Dr. Jones. You captured his stunt double."
FUCK YOU MORIARTY YOU FUCKING BITCH
by Proman1984
Feb 17th, 2008
08:10:31 PM
INDY 4 TRAILER IS THE GREATEST THING EVER! IT FUCKING ROCKS!
INDY 4 TRAILER IS THE GREATEST THING EVER! IT FUCKING ROCKS!
by Proman1984
Feb 17th, 2008
08:11:48 PM
Deal with it, OK? I mean seriously, the way it's cut! It's fucking exciting and I'm sorry if you are too busy worshiping eli roth's cock to admit it. That goes for the rest of the AICN gang as well.
I MEAN SERIOSLY, IT'S A FUCKING TEASER
by Proman1984
Feb 17th, 2008
08:13:34 PM
It's not even a trailer. It's a fucking teaser and for a teaser to a VERY VEY OLD FRANCHISE IT DOES AN AWESOME JOB.
Proman- it's called xanax...ask your doctor
by SkinJob69
Feb 17th, 2008
08:29:17 PM
Indiana Jones and the over anaylized to hell teaser
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 17th, 2008
08:33:20 PM
Agreed skywalker
by peytonallen
Feb 17th, 2008
08:45:30 PM
It's a teaser people. What did you want? No iconic image? Such as what Mori? He gave you the 'hat' being put back on. A few whip shots.

Okay the reality is this trailer did nothing. It accomplished what it set out to do, which is reintroduce the character. It's been 20 years. I suspect the first 2 minute theater run trailer will be different.

It's a gamble bringing Indy back. Is it even possible they can hit a homer? Regardless, they didn't intend to play their hand here.

I'd be interested in reading the Darabount draft after seeing the movie. Just how much if anything is being used. Read interviews recently from when his script was rejected by George. Don't see any dinner invitations coming his way soon to the Ranch. Still, from those who have read the rejected script and have or will see the movie...be interested to know if George wasted the perfect draft or in fact improved the movie.

One split-second shot was altered from a promo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
by ZeroC
Feb 17th, 2008
08:45:51 PM
Seriously Mori, calm the fuck down. The MPAA have committed far worse atrocities and THIS is what you choose to make a stand against? Maybe parents taking their kids to The Spiderwick Chronicles don't want to see a trailer featuring guns pointed at people. So what? Nothing wrong with censoring a fucking TRAILER, in my opinion. You want to see the intended shot, you'll get to when you sit down in front of the actual movie like everyone else. Until then, all you're doing is coming off like a douchebag when you sarcastically berate others for pointing out you may be slightly over-reacting a bit...
"Mr. Floaty Upper-Torso Solider"
by Red Shirt
Feb 17th, 2008
08:47:04 PM
My new addition to the catch phrase goldmine that is AICN talkbacks. Make me famous, fella geeks!
Spielberg is to Shia LeBuff as Scorsese is to...
by Chishu_Ryu
Feb 17th, 2008
08:47:40 PM
...Leo DeCrappio. I see it coming. Get used to it...
underhyping
by jigsaw
Feb 17th, 2008
08:47:46 PM
This trailer is pretty awful, and it seems obvious Spielberg and Lucas think they can attract an audience based on name recognition alone, that they're using the trailer to underhype the film, knowing that most of us will be there opening weekend because the marquee reads Spielberg, Lucas, Ford, Indiana Jones. They don't give a shit about the content of this trailer, they just want to remind us that Indiana Jones will be in theaters this summer, and they're clearly trying to keep expectations in check because they can afford to. Rather than bowing to modern pressures to open the film (pressures they hardly feel because of their clout), I think they're trying to create something with legs, building on word of mouth. It's an old-fashioned form of buzz they're after, but being that these are the two most successful filmmakers in the history of cinema, it's kind of hard not to have confidence in their approach. This film isn't gonna be the second coming or teh suck. It's gonna be a new a familiar thrill ride, almost definitely worth the money.
My God I despise George Lucas these days..
by conspiracy
Feb 17th, 2008
08:49:20 PM
I've watched this thing so many times I feel like I'm analyzing the Zapruder film. Face it, George has simply spent too much time entrenched up there in Skywalker Ranch, shut off from the world, surrounded by six figure a year yes men, and his no doubt issue laden brood. We went from the coolness of Shoot first Han and Smirking two fisted Indy too Ewoks, then Jar Jar, and now Hammy one liner Indy. Stop George...just stop.
I have a theory...
by conspiracy
Feb 17th, 2008
08:53:45 PM
I'm beginning to think it is all intentional. That George, and now Spielberg are intentionally fucking up the characters and series we all love. Why? So that they can finally put them to bed...destroy the demand for new installments...and run off together into the wilds of Northern California and make the "small, art films" they talk about in every God Damned interview... Just a thought.
okay quick reactions
by peytonallen
Feb 17th, 2008
08:55:25 PM
Only worry from the trailer is we'll have too many cooks in the kitchen. Indy, Marion, Mutt, the rival arch., Abner.... most of the action scenes showed that group running around. Hope that's not always the case. Would prefer Indy alone, or just paired with another person. this movie will suck!

If Abner is alive, how? Is the Ark back in this thing? Do the Russians want to couple the power of the two? Maybe the new theory is the skulls are the only thing that can harness/control the arc. Maybe Marion never thought Abner was dead. Mayber Abner was abducted and has become an alien nut, this shamed Marion and she said he was dead.

Be nice to see them play up an angle were they ponder if aliens are really "God." That could be fun.

JOHN HURT'S CHARACTER AT 1:28
by ludmir88
Feb 17th, 2008
09:00:38 PM
LOOKS LIKE HE SPENT MANY YEARS IN THE JUNGLE, LOST OR PRISONER. ABNER IS THAT YOU?
Hope this HD trailer looks more realistic than it did originally
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Feb 17th, 2008
09:01:24 PM
Oh no it didn't. Still an overabundance of unconvincing CGI or shot overlaying. Man if this film follows suit from this trailer than Spielberg's statement of hardly any CGI is truly a betraying lie. In short, guerrila film making of Raiders/French Connection style, this movie ain't. From the looks of things thus far. By the way, your jokes in this TB guys, aren't funny.
I think what happened to Lucas is...
by Chishu_Ryu
Feb 17th, 2008
09:01:54 PM
...he got kids. That will change your whole point of view on life...
Not sure what shots are gonna "Wow" you but
by Drath
Feb 17th, 2008
09:02:05 PM
I agree that the trailer is strangely paced and put together. Are those Russians at Area 51 with the Roswell crate or what? Did they borrow one of the sets from National Treasure for that secret stairway, and did they use leftover CGI aborigonies from the Mummy movies to chase Indy at that temple? See, so many copies have come along now that imagery alone just isn't much of a seller anymore. Maybe it's a sign that we're too old for this shit when we can't just squeal like kiddies at a trailer, ya know? Not every Inidana Jones movie has had an image as classic as Indy running from the bolder afterall. It's too easy to blame the filmmakers and moan "this didn't WOW me, Dahling," in Edna Mode's voice or something. The silhouette shot is nice (though it could just as easily be a Spielberg touch added to an otherwise awful Michael Bay movie), and I liked what I saw of that jeep chase along the cliff--though it makes me think Blanchett's character will buy it before the final stretch of the journey, like that SS guy in the tank in Last Crusade. May it be a much better movie than it is a trailer. Also may it not suffer from that same curse that kept Die Hard 4 and Leathal Weapon 4 from being very good (DH4 being okay, but not a very good installment for turning McClain into the Terminator instead of the real guy he was supposed to be before).
and zACDILON...
by ludmir88
Feb 17th, 2008
09:03:13 PM
maybe they just only hate you. JACKASS. Read some book.
I'm On Your Side Mori. Sorta...
by D. Tyranus
Feb 17th, 2008
09:03:55 PM
It still doesn't matter man. You shouldn't get so hyped up about a teaser. The movie's what counts. No the digital alterations don't bother me, because as long as the guns are intact within the movie I'm happy. In fact if you hadn't brought it up, I wouldn't have noticed at all... I agree the pacing and cutting of the trailer was awful and I hate that fucking circa early 90s video game score they used for the opening. What a slap in the face to John Williams. Where were the people who cut the Prequel trailers? Those were a million times better and made two and a half heaps of shit look like the stuff dreams are made of. When your sitting on billions though like those two bearded bastards, who gives a fuck? Indy 4 will easily set the record for Memorial Day weekend grosses. So who cares. Just tell people it's coming out... then count your backend paychecks in the weeks to come.
ONLINE GEEKS
by RicCage
Feb 17th, 2008
09:15:12 PM
You know, I consider myself a big movie geek; but, after reading the geeks on this board, I can see why no one listens. Bashing a TEASER TRAILER. Wow. How about the fact that it's another Indiana Jones movie? We should all be happy right there. Geeze people
Why is No One Worried About David Koepp?
by D. Tyranus
Feb 17th, 2008
09:21:33 PM
I defy anyone. DEFY YOU. To tell me of a film he wrote that wasn't utter shit. The guy must be stopped and the fact Spielberg has gone sweet on him is clearly an indication of his old age laziness, or senility, or both.
Well RicCage...
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Feb 17th, 2008
09:25:36 PM
How about the fact that we're bashing a teaser trailer and not being happy about another Indy movie - as this teaser trailer doesn't look good - and we're worried that from the looks of things, and the fear that it might continue into the film itself, we are thinking that the movie might suck a bit, therefore it's not something to be that happy about. I was well Jazzed up for Indy 4, but if this teaser is a representation of the whole movie, well then perhaps I should be feeling a bit sad instead. So far, the teaser has my happy feelings stumped.
Well I speak for myself, I dunno about EVERYONE though, though I
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Feb 17th, 2008
09:28:47 PM
am sure that others do have the same 'fear'.
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Feb 17th, 2008
09:29:24 PM
If any1 starts referring to this film as KOTCS...
by Jesus of Suburbia
Feb 17th, 2008
09:32:09 PM
I'm to embark on a fire-bombing campaign.
Prossor
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Feb 17th, 2008
09:36:21 PM
'The reason it's not cut right.. is because.... it's a fucking trailer....' Ummmm, no. It's not cut right FOR a teaser trailer. The fact is, that the KOTCS teaser contains many shoddy cuts or chosen scenes.
End of the world
by THE KNIGHT
Feb 17th, 2008
09:37:05 PM
What next, a regulation on how much tissue we use to wipe our asses?
Terribly constructed trailer
by performingmonkey
Feb 17th, 2008
09:39:40 PM
You'd think that, considering Crystal Skull has/had the chance of becoming one of the highest-grossing pictures of all time, they'd put a little more effort into the trailer. The first half is god-awful. Considering how jokey Doom and Crusade were (and Skull is gonna be more of the same) and how much of a cool 'accidental' hero Indy is, why big him up to be this dramatic civilization conquering hero with music more fitting to Schindler's List? The second half does an average job of showing us clips from Skull, though the only part I think 'that's Indy' is the silouette of him putting on the hat. It's looks like Cate Blanchett and her Russian crew are gonna be a parody of a parody. Also, the action has no danger, something that the Pirates sequels suffered from when you've got Jack swinging all over the place and miraculously managing to land on the sail through the wonder of CGI. It looks like after all the hoo-har over Shia's casting he might turn out to be one of the better things about the movie. Maybe because the rest of it dines at CGI Fridays. If anything, what we've seen of Skull reminds me of Lost World: Jurassic Park. The 'Berg has entered that mode again, I feel. Makes sense considering Lost World was the last time he did anything fun.
peytonallen
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Feb 17th, 2008
09:42:49 PM
I agree with you about the concern that IJATKOTCS has too many characters all running around in a big 'bunch'. Too much going on with them all. I'd rather see Indy do some more solo stuff too, rather than Spielberg have to juggle so many guys all at once and make them all get ample screen time. Again, I do agree with some others, that this reeks too much of IJATLC not just in this way, but in the so far, 'safe' feeling that the hype so far has revealed. Man, when are we gonna see some echoes of IJATTOD? Indy bleeding, more colour, scary villains, more violence and danger? WHEEEEEEEEEENNNNah?!
No shot AT ALL wowed you, Mori?
by Booster Gold Lives
Feb 17th, 2008
09:43:08 PM
Not even that shot of the fedora with the silhouette as the Raiders March began to play? If you ask me, it could've ended there and worked as a hell of a teaser trailer. That said, I dug it. Could've been better, but we've seen worse.
Munro Kelly
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Feb 17th, 2008
09:53:46 PM
"Remember that they are making this one (IJATKOTCS) for the fans." Yeah but let's face it, what do the 'fans' know? Come on, their geeky idiots a lot of the time that would cheer for stuff like another Jason Vs Freddy or Aliens Vs Predator movie, then just complain about it when it comes out as well as saying that it's been done to death (but they'll still watch another one only to make the same complaints again), or pretend that they DON'T want another Die Hard movie, but actually DO like it when it comes out and then say that they want another one. Let's face it, the fans are freaking idiots - and Spielberg should be wary about listening to them. When we ask for another sequel, we're doing it out of obligation or just a knee jerk 'couldn't think of anything else to say' kind of thing. In short, I'll sum it up with the words of Ricky Martin about his show 'The Office' and 'Extras' (even though the correct word for non idiots is 'Supporting Artists', get a brain people) and why he decided to quit from doing a 3rd series of each, even though the 'fans' were screaming out for it, like the 'so called' good taste intelligent people that they are.... ' Ricky said 'You think you want it... but you don't'. Same with IJATKOTCS guys. You know you're wrong, and that I am right. You know it now, you're gonna hotdamn well know it when you walk out of the theatre.
car chase along the ledge
by sith_rising
Feb 17th, 2008
10:00:13 PM
felt very "Indy" to me, as did him swinging through the windshield on accident. I'm excited about this!
The Alteration Isn't Meant to Protect Mori
by WriteFromLeft
Feb 17th, 2008
10:06:06 PM
...from the horrors of a fake machine gun. In theory, the rule was created for a kid who sees the trailer during Spiderwick, picks up daddy's handgun when he goes home and wants to play bang, bang, you're dead with the neighbor. Like it or not, there's that little thing in the constitution about the right to bear arms. But the thing is, daddy-who-bought-the-gun is probably an overworked, underpaid Joe who doesn't see much of his kids because he works day and night to make up for the lack of wage increases in the US in the last, oh, eight years or so. I have no love for the MPAA, in fact, I think it's incredibly lame of them not to force X- ratings on films containing violent content, but let's face it, that's why that rule is there, like it or not.
WeinerPenis
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Feb 17th, 2008
10:09:06 PM
I like to think that Spielberg is giving IJATKOTCS the WOTW treatment. Annoy the fans with showing them NOTHING throughout all the hype - and then just blowing them away with the explosion of what the film REALLY has in store for us when we actually see it. One can only hope though. I for one can't wait to see the Aliens in this film, especially the botanical marine amphibious look that they have, from the final paintings I saw from a mate of mine who worked on it. Or the scene in which Ray Winstone dies by being devoured by them as detailed in a script page that my mate showed me too, but mostly I wanna see the scene at the end where things go supernatural like in IJATROTLA and the Aliens who actually apparently are supposed to be derived from God as well (rather than deny the existence of him), go and unleash all their spiritual 'forces' and 'power' in the catacombs of the Malay 'temple' and in the display of bright light, they vaporise most of the Russian bad guys and the temple itself and the Apocalyptic show of fire and earthquake as Indy and his buddies and son try to escape, whilst at the same time, try to kill Cate Blanchett who has the skulls and stop her from creating an all power of Alien slavedom and and rule over the whole world (as 'whatever being commands the skull, commands existence' is the script quote or something). Trust me, if this 28 page something Armageddon epic sequence can be done on screen as well as on paper that some people from IJATKOTCS have told me about, well then this film just MIGHT deliver. I just hope that the future trailer doesn't hint at this like WOTW didn't, as again, it's best that stuff like this is not seen or leaked visually until people see the film and get the schock and suprise of seeing that story happen THEN.
Yeah sith_rising
by Orionsangels
Feb 17th, 2008
10:09:29 PM
It appears that the effects have purposely been downgraded to fit with the look of the other Indy films. Which is fine by me. If they suddendly added sophisticated modern CG effects. It would stand out more and take you out of Indy's world.
The Trailer need some work
by noodleheadstudios
Feb 17th, 2008
10:14:13 PM
I do agree that the trailer just didn't work for me either. I had a vision for the past years of what it should have been and parts of my vision were there but it was so choppy and rough it didn't excite me. Thus I have erased the trailer from my mind and forgotten it has existed. I am very much looking forward to the film.
Gee there, Mori, simply seeing Indy again wowed me.
by lavaboat
Feb 17th, 2008
10:22:20 PM
Just seeing Indy standing there with his hands up really struck me. Held power for me. For me, this was better than any unlikely setpiece, special effect or stunt. For two minutes I forgot that I was watching a trailer that I was supposed to have an opinion about later. Indy was back and I was shot backwards in time . . . back to time when I didn't know how movies were put together and sold, back to a time when trailers were not something that you "cut" and "iconography" was not something that you "sold."
I got chills from the moment the shadow picked up
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 17th, 2008
10:28:31 PM
the hat. Classic.
WeinerPenis
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Feb 17th, 2008
10:30:10 PM
Yeah I remember reading that too. Though I hope we get IJATTOD and IJATROTLA kinda look, and not the IJATLC 'clean' colourless look. I want the nitty gritty, but mostly I want the scary reddish albeit bright white blinding look that the film needs when the Alien powers start killing everyone in the end sequences. I think hand held cam as Indy and his pals flee the underground earthquake volcanoing settings has to be the way to go. Shoot it on the hop, like he did in SPR where he emplyoyed 'accidental' camera shots as much as possible to create the correct feel for it. I think there's also some kind of 'The Abyss' resurrection scene in it too, where either Indy's son or Marion dies, but has to be brought back to life through the power of the Alien Skull but only if the holder can be truthfully willing to die to prove their love and desire for their deceased love one (hint, he does as the scene's result shows) or something, I dunno what is written in it's reference completely. Well I have NO IDEA how Kaminski should shoot it. At first I thought, shoot it in the same way that was done in The Abyss all shaky and real, but then the scene with Indy is all about his belief in love and anything holy so it will need a more transcending higher 'being' feel to it, so the cinematography will need something more 'spiritual' and fleeting, and let's face it, a hovering looking into another world feel of photography contradicts shaky cam, doesn't it. The question, similar to what Spielberg had on a scene in Schindler's List is, 'to dolly or NOT to dolly'.
Moriartys tiny cock...
by tehgreekhammer
Feb 17th, 2008
10:37:25 PM
gets all hard over the thought of Eli Roth in a hotel room, but he thinks this trailer is meh.

whatever...

tehgreekhammer
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Feb 17th, 2008
10:41:15 PM
Leave Mori along you spunkprat. Mori's a cool guy.
Howdy Kirk.
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Feb 17th, 2008
10:50:35 PM
What are you doing in Talkback?
Mr. Nice Gaius
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Feb 17th, 2008
10:56:51 PM
I thought I'd pop in here as I don't have to get up to do any Film Extra (Sorry, Supporting Artist work) or Tiger Shark film editing work, and discuss the IJATKOTCS with some people here. At least they have taste, unlike the Zone! I thought they should know how things end at the end of this movie so they can have their expectations altered or improved as they seem to be so down about it. I thought that letting them know what's in store at the end from some movie friends of mine who worked on Indy 4 in Peru might be uplifting to them.
kirk
by JLo
Feb 17th, 2008
10:57:45 PM
how do you know so much about the script?
Captain Kirk
by tehgreekhammer
Feb 17th, 2008
10:58:23 PM
Look dude, Im not saying Moriarty isnt a nice guy.

Im just pointing out that Mariarty gets more excited about the guy who brought us such hits as:

Cabin Fever

Torture Porn 1

and

Torture Porn 2

than he does for the guys who brought us:

E.T.

Star Wars

Saving Private Ryan

Close Encounters

and

Howard the Duck

Just sayin...

Iconography.
by Bubba Gillman
Feb 17th, 2008
10:58:49 PM
The Indy movies are not really about iconography. They are adventure movies that have been elevated to iconic status because of our feelings towards them, and the craftsmanship that went into making them. It was the right decision not to overdo the return of Indiana Jones aspect, as though we were dealing with a hallowed or sacred character (even though many of us feel that way about him). The movie, and to a lesser degree the trailer, shouldn't play to the fandom that surrounds the series, but should be true to the series itself. The shot of the hat on the ground, and his shadow against the jeep, is all the iconography you need, and perfectly in line with the other movies.
This looks great! And it's just a teaser!
by Space Disc Jockey
Feb 17th, 2008
11:00:05 PM
This is just a teaser trailer and I'm excited to see the film. Sure, Harrison is old, but damnit, this is Indiana Jones! It can't be bad and it certainly won't ever top "Raiders". I think the movie looks like a lot of fun. Bring on the full trailer! It's going to be a kick-ass summer, indeed!
the flag
by brassai2003
Feb 17th, 2008
11:00:55 PM
I think people are missing the point of the flag. It's not a postive icon, since the next scene in the trailer is Indy being kicked around by the US Army. Am I wrong?
The Flag
by The Funketeer
Feb 17th, 2008
11:05:30 PM
Y'know the flag could have been there because the scene took place at a U.S. military base.
leobloom
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Feb 17th, 2008
11:06:00 PM
"Some reason why you feel the need to use those long acroynms? Why preface all of them with IJAT?" It's called.. being specific. Being correct. Articulate. Detailed. We live in a world of too much vagueness don't you think? Especially as we're talking about movies that we love.
American Flag
by Banky the Hack
Feb 17th, 2008
11:06:44 PM
Isn't the American flag included to infer that Indy is being roughed up by his own government at the beginning of the trailer? Those soldiers with guns on him are US soldiers, I do believe. I hardly think that's the sort of "patriotic" statement most of you are insinuating.
And I should learn to read
by Banky the Hack
Feb 17th, 2008
11:07:31 PM
The most recent posts before I bother restating things...
JLo
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Feb 17th, 2008
11:11:58 PM
Well I work as a Supporting Artist (Film Extra to normal people) and have done films like Gladiator and even SW 1 and 2 (sorry for ruining it guys) though I don't work much more than a day on such films. I also do other independent smaller crew work on little films, (I am finishing 2 films off of my own about diving with tiger Sharks and Great Whites right now) so I am kind of in the industry. So without bragging, I do like to think that I know people or 'connections' though mostly at lower production levels who work on other movies too, even though I don't work on them myself. So even though I didn't work on IJATKOTCS I do know friends or at least one, who has worked on it. He obviously knows other people on it too. So he likes to share this stuff with me what not. I hope this answers your questions. I mean, I'm sure there's others here in the TB who have connections in film too. Nice to meet you all!
tehgreekhammer
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Feb 17th, 2008
11:12:43 PM
I'm sorry I called you a Spunkprat.
Cpt Kirks 2pay
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Feb 17th, 2008
11:20:30 PM
Cool man, I hear ya. I have to say that I was not really blown away by the INDY4 trailer. However, I did feel that it contained just enough "Indy Magic" to get me excited again. The infamous silhouette was enough to make me smile.

I had no idea that you actually worked in/on film. But that's fantastic news regarding your two diving films. You should definitely give us the word on your progress when you can and let us know how things turn out. You know...like in TB...or that other place. :^)

apparently pointing a gun at someone...
by JimmyJoe RedSky
Feb 17th, 2008
11:24:05 PM
... is more harmful to watch during trailers than guns being fired at someone - the mpaa is full of shit and always has been - and the flag, while it doesnt bother me that much, is such an awkward attempt at painting this franchise as just "america=goodguys/everyone else=badguys" - when in reality the all 3 movies to date have shown its all much grayer than that - but as someone else said in another talkback, if youre going to open the trailer with scenes from exotic locales (deserts specifically) you better push the flag in our faces for the sensitive morons that need a distinction to be made between our hero and his adventures (where ever they might take place)
kirk
by JLo
Feb 17th, 2008
11:26:02 PM
cool that sounds like fun!

so from what you know do you think this will be better than what people are speculating here on AICN?

No Problem 2Pay
by tehgreekhammer
Feb 17th, 2008
11:31:50 PM
Indys one of my favorite franchises is all. And Its one of the movies Ive been looking forward to the most.

And to have to read Maryarty whine about the trailer (um its a teaser dude) not be cool enough, or "why are the guns painted out? Its ruined for me"

While seeing that mr Douche-bag Roth is starting to rear his ugly head again after the abysmal failure that was Torture Porn 2.

And Maryiarty mouth/keyboard seems to be gushing with Eli-asmic anticipation.

Good luck with the films dude. Im an editor (commercials and music videos) here in NY, and I know what the post process is like. Lotta late hours, alot of swearing, and angry calls from the wife.

for thos that didnt like this "teaser"
by JimmyJoe RedSky
Feb 17th, 2008
11:35:09 PM
remember, thats all it is - a teaser - the reason its awkward and feels unsatisfying might be because the footage shown is the least spoiler filled - thats how it felt to me - as if the movie and its story, inspite of this being the first teaser, is still hidden from us - the official theatrical release "trailer" will be better and more satisfying im sure - inspite of all this censorship crap, im still looking forward to this a great deal - not been this excited since ROTS
JLo
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Feb 17th, 2008
11:37:32 PM
Well I think that one should hold out a bit more hope when you regard that the final leg of this movie will be like completely and literally explosive and like nothing you've seen before, let alone in an Indy movie. Things basically go supernova and quite graphic in terms of how the Russians and especially Cate Blanchett die by the Aliens. So who knows if it will be better than what people think? I personally think it's all about the performances. I don't see why everyone slags off Shia so much as I think he's such a natural and totally limitless actor. I don't think there's nothing that he can't do. But when it comes to performance my eye is on Ray Winstone. Who I observed to be a consumnate performer when I saw him work on Sexy Beast. Such time he takes to getting realism. But for the life of me, I have no idea how he is going to do the scene where he dies in IJATKOTCS, as it's been described as if his body gets pulled from the inside out, like his insides are sucked out from him first, before his skin is reversed. Just shows what strange Alien powers these beings posess. How do you act that? Can't wait to see that though. Just hope it works.
leobloom
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Feb 17th, 2008
11:46:09 PM
You said "IJATROTLA is revisionist history, if you want to get technical, since it was called "Raiders of the Lost Ark" for many years." Well I don't know what you mean. As in IJATROTLA they did say that the Ark is part of real life history and that althout rewriting it in said film, it is not stated that it did actually happen. Weird that as in IJATTOD and IJATLC it is NOT stated that the archetypes existed in one but DID exist in the other, in history. The artetypes of the Sankara Stones and the Holy Grail that is. So who knows what revisionist history is, if an archefact did exist in one but not the other?
leobloom
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Feb 17th, 2008
11:51:22 PM
Oh I'm sorry about that other Taken thread. I'm sorry, but that kind of shallow infantile and disrespectful attitude there, really did make me angry with them. It's like a father having to deal with 10 kids - knowing that they're total horrors and they don't deserve your love. So yeah, I mean, I might be 'connected' but that's a strong word - to the industry, but let's face it. I am only a lowlife fucking film extra who does sod all work and you don't need a brain for. Extras are the shitpile of the industry if you must know, not all that good. So yeah, I guess I don't go too high up the ladder as I can go nuts at times, like you say. Well let's not say that I'm 'connected' then, as I lack a better word. Let's just say that I vaguely know friends of friends. People in positions that I so much want to be in, but I can't as again, I am a little too freaky inside about things I care about. (though your 'nutcase' jab did hurt a little.)
krack
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Feb 17th, 2008
11:54:05 PM
No, isn't he saying that IJATROTLA is revising history as in saying that the Ark did exist but was found by the Third Reich? THAT'S revisionist history. I just don't know what to call IJATTOD in this term of revisionist history as I don't know if the Sankara stones did actually exist?
krack
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Feb 17th, 2008
11:57:54 PM
Sorry, again. Should have posted in the above one too. I just thought that seeing as how people here seem to be in a depressed mood about what they know so far, they would want cheering up and hope being brought to them by knowing that the ending has a lot of big things and suprises in it that they will enjoy. Many people don't care about Spoilers anyway so again, it's the 'you think you don't want it but you do' thing. The 'you think you don't want to know about IJATKOTCS, but you do want to know about IJATKOTCS'. So i just thought that I'd tell them. I just thought it would interest and perk people up for the film again. As so far, the publicity for it has been negative.
I agree with M that the trailer was anti-climactic...
by UnChienAndalou
Feb 17th, 2008
11:59:41 PM
I'm sure the movie will nicely accomplish what it sets out to do within the parameters of summer popcorn entertainment but I felt this first bit of advertising had virtually no WOW! factor whatsoever and at no point did I think "holy f-ing s**t I want to take a temporary employment leave and get in line for this thing right now!!!"
krack
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Feb 18th, 2008
12:03:03 AM
But why did he call the film a 'revisionist history'? That[s got nithing to do with the title does it? I think he meant that it was revising WW2 history by cross referencing revising biblical history? I don't get what that's got to do with changing the title?
tehgreekhammer
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Feb 18th, 2008
12:07:45 AM
Yeah, editing. You know what it's like eh? :) Like spending all your time on here talking about films you want to be on if only you were good enough, (well I speak for me anyway) when I should be working on editing. So I'm on TB instead. Or I'm downloading hot chick movies instead, too much time watching Shania Twain sing her songs on Youtube, I dunno, I just can't stop! I should get back to work or sleep! Oh well, roll on IJATKOTCS.
The more I watch it, the better I feel...
by RandySavage
Feb 18th, 2008
12:09:16 AM
My biggest concern going into this film was whether Ford could find the old Indy in himself; which I doubted after seeing him act and interview over the past 15 years. While the speaking lines in this teaser haven't yet convinced me he has, Ford's physicality and body movement looked just like the old Indiana, and that alone is cause for hope.
Oh I just rembered a line
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Feb 18th, 2008
12:21:00 AM
from IJATROTLA where Paul Freeman puts his hand on hte Ark and says 'This IS history'!!! Hope that helps sums things up about the film being revisionist history? Heh. Sorry, that was a bad joke I think. Sorry, I didn't mean to take the piss there. Though I still am not sure if you see this film in this way.
The trailer was awesome!
by GibsonUSA
Feb 18th, 2008
12:24:33 AM
AICN posters are known as haters, but sometimes I am with you guys...like with the Rambo ad campaign (though I enjoyed the movie!).

But COOOOME OOOOOOON....how in the WORLD can you pick on this INDY teaser? It was fantastic!! The "pacing"...."they should have used this bg music instead"...WTF?? It's like your LOOKING for problems or something. A teaser than opens with the hat being put back on the head and Indy swinging/driving around in action...thats FANTASTIC.

People are actually saying stuff like "This person's here...then he's here, that makes no sense!"....looking for story consistency in tha TEASER TRAILER?? Are you kidding?

Wow....just wow. When you hate on stuff like this, it ruins your credibility for when you hate on stuff that truly deserves venom.
Just had to sign on to say this.
Thanks for the link, Mo!
by Zakari Paolon
Feb 18th, 2008
12:32:35 AM
I'm one of the ones who loved the trailer. For me what they needed to do was show the tone of the movie in a way that gives absolutely no story spoilers, and I feel that's just what they did. For a teaser it works perfect, just gives you the flavor without giving away huge story details (that we didnèt already know through released stills, anyway). But to see it as it was meant to be seen is pretty cool, so thanks for the links!.
Well said, Gibson
by maverick2484
Feb 18th, 2008
12:46:18 AM
Saw the teaser in theatres before "Jumper" (the second time that Fox has taken a shit on my eyeballs and my wallet in the last 2 months, AVP:R being the other one, though I have no one to blame for this but myself) and it got a great reaction. This is undoubtedly the film to beat this summer. The Dark Knight is gonna pull a Batman Returns/Temple of Doom and be too dark and violent. That might make it a great movie, but it won't have the widespread appeal that this will have. Teens will see it who discovered the Indy series on DVD, aging Boomers who were there in '81 will be excited, it's got a shot at $300 mil. As for the teaser itself, I could have done without the messianic "God is coming back" approach to recapping the trilogy...Indy should never be portrayed that seriously. The beauty of the character is that he always saves the day, but he bumbles and gets hurt in the process. He's not slick, and he's certainly not self-serious. That said, the action shots really do it for me. The whole "I thought that was closer" line? It's perfect. It's a nod to the character's age (which is necessary when Ford is in his '60s), but it's also quintessential Indy humour. Even as a younger man, Indy still might have missed that jump. Blanchett is always great, Shia can't possibly suck as much as Short-Round, and anyone who thinks an alien plot is too outlandish needs to remember that this is the same character who, um, found the HOLY FUCKING GRAIL THAT JESUS DRANK FROM. Realism is exactly the hallmark of these films. This one looks like a winner. Spielberg, you magnificent bastard.
True about the Billboard
by Tourist
Feb 18th, 2008
01:29:17 AM
You bitch about that, because its up for public consumption and viewable by children. So is this.
armchair wannabes drop it already
by aboriginal
Feb 18th, 2008
01:29:28 AM
shit, man . . . you've got something iconic and kickass making another return to the screen and you can't help but shia't all over it. WTF!?! Bitch, bitch, bitch seems to be the flavor 'round here. As for the 'merican flag from what I know about the period of this film the villains and the Macguffin the image is in there for the scene's sake when you've got Cold War infiltratin' Russkies heading into the heart of America's secret Area 51. The fucking flag's in there for the establishing shot and what the fuck ever ad agency that put this trailer together ('cuz that's usually who does these things and not the studio per-se) decided is was an element to play up even though there isn't anything to really tell the viewer when or where this is except in little elements. I ain't no flag hugger, but leave it be until we move past the teaser trailer and into the meat. And, like I said, WTF!?!?! We've got ourselves another Indy movie and the only bitchin' I've got is that its 10 years late, but better than never.
Indiana Jones...
by Tourist
Feb 18th, 2008
01:41:11 AM
...From Raiders and Temple and to a lesser extent Crusade is iconic. We, or more accurately they, bitch because its just someone dragging up an inconic character to utilise in a shitfest to make a buck. He was doing quite well being left alone. That said, I don't really give a fuck either way, because I think Indies like, maybe a couple of levels below Jack Burton.
Here's the ending clip ...
by RandySavage
Feb 18th, 2008
01:48:41 AM
from when Ford appeared in Young Indiana Jones Chronicles: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =kcwEIs5_z7E Here's hoping we see a lot more of that twinkle in Ford's eye in Indy IV:
This link works
by RandySavage
Feb 18th, 2008
01:51:40 AM
http://tiny.cc/Nz5EI
You are all joyless horrible people
by darthvedder81
Feb 18th, 2008
02:17:04 AM
Except that GL didn't write or direct that episode so you can't really pin any of that on him. I remember watching that when it first aired and thought it was great. I just love the haters. You automatically blame Lucas for problems you have with his work while simultaneously NOT giving him credit for the stuff you do like ("It wasn't GL is was Gary Kurtz/Marcia Lucas/Irvin "Robocop 2" Kershner, etc,etc, etc").
Young Indy was great. It was a good
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 18th, 2008
02:28:38 AM
alternative to the let's have fistfights every ten minutes crowd. Young Indy wasn't supposed to be the movie Indy. It was a young Indy discovering his world.
Just noticed the rocket car...
by BlackIronPrison
Feb 18th, 2008
03:01:26 AM
or whatever you want to call it, from the Saucermen from Mars script. Indy swings over it when kicking that dude through the window. Wonder what else they're using from that particular script? Shit, i've heard about merman type shit goin on potentially. Maybe Kirk is right about the aliens amphibious nature?
Flag
by paineywoo
Feb 18th, 2008
03:14:36 AM
I just downloaded the 'International' trailer only to get the 'flag' in there again....jeeze - the PROPER international trailer has NO flag (as seen over at thesun dot co uk). Boo. Etc... (Just saying)
Here is a quick comparo gif....
by Doc_Hudson
Feb 18th, 2008
03:15:15 AM
http://tinyurl.com/2m8wsv Good grief....:(
krack
by GibsonUSA
Feb 18th, 2008
03:15:27 AM
What? You want the trailer to start with the boulder? Or the raft down the mountain? Short Round riding the elephant? All while playing familiar iconic themes? Basically...just give away the movie and deflate the buildup right at the beginning??

The beginning of the teaser is MEANT to be only semi-familiar. It seems designed to give a "wait a minute....it couldn't be...??" feeling to the audience. Then when the foot steps forward and the theme music starts, THEY KNOW...thier suspicions have been answered.

Most people will not watch this trailer on AICN with a big "INDY IV!!!!!" heading, but rather in the theater with a bunch of other trailers. They won't see it coming...so its important not to completely give the movie away in the beginning of the teaser. Make them wait a moment....its imagination.
maverick2484
by GibsonUSA
Feb 18th, 2008
03:20:46 AM
So you'd convince the advertisers/promoters to highlight Indy's long awaited return as a "bumbling guy who gets hurt"? That may be closer to what he is, but from a promotional standpoint they have got to make him out to be this larger than life icon...hes Optimus Prime. In the movie he can be same old Indy, but advertising to the mainstream he's "INDY F'N JONES!!", you know what I mean?
Greigy Just Wanted To Bitch
by CuervoJones
Feb 18th, 2008
04:23:25 AM
Relax andhave some fun. Fun is good.
ARRRGGGH!!! The sight of guns has corrupted me!!!!!
by 69DUDE
Feb 18th, 2008
04:23:44 AM
That is all.
George Lucas and the Kingdom of the Golden Cashbox
by Chishu_Ryu
Feb 18th, 2008
04:31:08 AM
After May 22, George Lucas will make a mint from introducing a generation of new fans and older ones to the Indy franchise who will then proceed to spend the rest of the next few years buying Indiana Jones DVD and Blu-Ray Boxsets as well all related movie merchandise. Another brilliant Lucasfilm money making machine guaranteed to get asses in seats a la the Prequel Trilogy...
American Presidents
by IndiAbbey Jones
Feb 18th, 2008
05:03:49 AM
Posted this in the previous Indy TB butit's died. All the soilders that manhandle Indy are named after American Presidents.
What's not to love in that there trailer!!!???
by FILMFUNK
Feb 18th, 2008
05:11:08 AM
Indy shilouetted against the car putting his hat on

the shortsighted swing back into the truck behind!

the natives advancing through the tomb

the clifftop chase

The warehouse full of crates

The same sound effect of stone scraping from Raiders when the idol is removed.

the big frikin Myan or Aztec ruin/maze tomb puzzles!!!

Marion

Pat Roach (I hope that's him!?)

Ray Winston

Cate Blanchet!

How uncool is it to piss on that trailer on this suposed moviegeeks site!? Very fucking UNCOOL! I'm no apologist for bad movies, nor am I a raving Lucas ass kisser! the guy should leave his own classics alone and concentrate his efforts not CGing up his backcatalogue but making new adventures! god knows he's got the talent for tall tales but this looks like everything you could want from a 4th Indy movie and tons more! and the only thing I can see worth Bitching like a little bitchy bitch about is possibly the fact they lowered the guns in the trailer with a little bit of dodgy cut and paste, which I never even noticed, and which won't even be in the film!!! so quit bitchin!!!

Good lord
by ProoferFromHell
Feb 18th, 2008
06:05:43 AM
You talkbackers crack me up. You either bitch about too much given away in a trailer or not enough. There's no pleasing the lot of you, is there?

For me personally, the trailer did what I think it was supposed to do - get me excited about seeing Indy back in action. I for one will be at the midnight show, if they have one here, with my 13-year-old son. We went out this weekend and got the first three, and we're watching them together.

Obviously I'm not an industry insider or a film student, just someone who likes movies of all types. So, there's my two cents, for what it's worth.

Fuck the CGI, what about...
by Space
Feb 18th, 2008
06:10:15 AM
... the lamps and flag n' stuff that shows at the end of the clip with Indy trying to swing onto the car? With that said, the trailer is fucking great!
the flag was put in
by vadakinX
Feb 18th, 2008
07:10:36 AM
How do we know this? Because it's cgi. Therefore by it's very nature, it was added to the shot. Playing both versions side by side you see that they are the same exact shot. Now, it should be noted that in the trailer for Spider-man 3, there was a cgi US flag in a shot, that wasnt in the international version, and the cgi'd flag version made it into the final film. So we will have to wait for the final film before we see which version of the shot is "as intended".

Now I know you Americans are almost Nazi-like when it comes to patriotism...note, I'm not calling yo Nazi's, but in terms of celebrating being American, you are very similar to the Germans during the Nazi regime, with Pledges of Alliegiance, and so much respect for national symbols, like the flag....but surely even you guys must be sick of these slo-mo stars and stripes shots that are appearing more and more in movies these days.

vadakinX, you disingenuous cock.
by DocPazuzu
Feb 18th, 2008
07:20:21 AM
If you're going to draw parallels between American patriotism and Nazi blood & earth fervor, at least have the courage of your convictions and say so. Don't suggest a comparison and then back out to avoid flak, thus having the cake and eating it.
As for the flag...
by DocPazuzu
Feb 18th, 2008
07:22:41 AM
...it's obviously being flown over the gates of a military base or some other government installation which the vehicles are on their way to. If I'm not mistaken, there's an identical shot in Jurassic Park when our protagonists pass through the gate into the actual park.
Did anyone notice the tiny glimpse of the Skull from Temple of D
by Earthling
Feb 18th, 2008
07:23:16 AM
It's in the Temple of Doom section near the start and is a quick dissolve between the shot of the Kali statue and the bats. I'm fairly certain that was not in the US version. If so, why? It's like 8 frames!
As much as I can't wait to see this movie...
by JumpinJehosaphat
Feb 18th, 2008
07:25:12 AM
That trailer is about as poorly edited as a trailer can get. It's simply a mess.
MUTT WILLIAMS
by IndiAbbey Jones
Feb 18th, 2008
07:35:06 AM
http://www.cooltoyreview.com/T F2008/Hasbro/IJpresentation/im age6.asp Mutt Williams confirmed and Cemetry Warrior? WTF!
The problem with haters...
by DocPazuzu
Feb 18th, 2008
07:36:21 AM
...like Merriman (and moviemack and ringwearer9), is that they invariably paint themselves into a corner with their reasoning. Instead of merely complaining about how a trailer is cut (like many other reasonably have), they take minute details of a trailer and use it as irrefutable evidence that the movie is going to suck. With this kind of stance, there is literally nothing in the actual film that can prove them wrong since they don't allow that possibility.

To make things worse, they say things like "The odds are in my favor!" and "You heard it here first!", which is the worst, cheapest, most cowardly and most pathetic form of cynicism on these boards. If they are right, they can claim some sort of perverted glory; if they're wrong, they can just slink away and come back with a new username to avoid derision from their peers.

What fucking saddoes...

vadakinX - your argument is full of holes
by Earthling
Feb 18th, 2008
07:38:54 AM
In the case of this movie trailer, where we glimpse a flag in the foreground of a shot, the context is completely up for grabs. The impression I got (admittedly, being a huge fan of Spielberg and an Australian) is that he is suggesting the American military are the latest villains Indy must go up against. The base they are driving towards is almost certainly Area 51/Groom Lake, where the latest McGuffin or is presumably being kept. You could infer that the US Army are, in effect, the Nazis of this movie. But that is all complete guess-work on my part. I just get the impression from different articles and pictures I've seen, that the film has a similar anti-military slant to the other films, especially Raiders, where the US Government are the ones who decide to keep the ark for their own, possibly power-hungry purposes. Either way, we'll soon know one way or another. I reckon this film will deliver in terms of the story, thanks in very large part to Lucas holding his own and shifting the era to the 50s, which was a time (dawn of the cold-war) not unlike our own era of paranoia. post 9/11.
Changing the title of Raiders
by chrth
Feb 18th, 2008
07:50:23 AM
They changed the title so that all three movies would be next to each other on the shelf at the video store. There's no conspiracy involved. They were just making it easier for fans to find the movies. I can't believe anyone would bitch about that.
DocPazuzu: One problem with your argument
by chrth
Feb 18th, 2008
07:51:25 AM
Ringwearer9 was right (well, at least about ROTK)
I agree with Moriarty
by Pizza The Hut
Feb 18th, 2008
07:52:47 AM
and that makes me his buddy.
THE CHIN: You said it was gonna be easy to sell this flick
by SpencerTrilby
Feb 18th, 2008
08:08:49 AM
THE BEARD: Not as easy as it used to be...

Thank you teh internet.

bring back Short Round!!
by BMacSmith
Feb 18th, 2008
08:08:57 AM
Doom was better than Crusade and you fucking know it.
Has everyone seen this before?
by IndiAbbey Jones
Feb 18th, 2008
08:11:30 AM
www.cooltoyreview.com/T F2008/Hasbro/IJpresentation/
disappointment in store
by Mr Gorilla
Feb 18th, 2008
08:13:19 AM
Of course I hope that Spielberg will play and ace, and TRULY thrill us, and make us laugh. But that jokey, rough-and-tumble tone that felt so fresh in the 80s would feel very 'so what?' now.
MPAA is CGI!
by VadersCrotchDoor
Feb 18th, 2008
08:19:39 AM
Wouldn't it be cool if it was disclosed that the MPAA cabal was comprised of CGI characters, upgraded over the past few years from original hand-drawn creations by Disney back in the 60's, and that Jack Valenti had really been nothing more than an Audio-Animatronic figure?
Actually, chrth...
by DocPazuzu
Feb 18th, 2008
08:20:03 AM
...if one bears in mind the REASONS ringy said it would suck, my theory is still sound.
Will this one have...
by VadersCrotchDoor
Feb 18th, 2008
08:21:31 AM
Spielberg's mistress singing Cole Porter off-key? Oh God I hope so.
re ringy
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
08:43:57 AM
Yes he was right, but even a blind squirrell occasionally finds a nut.

I'm still enthusiastic about this- and all nitpicking isn't bothering me. It's Indiana Jones, for fuck's sake!

Pictures of new toys at
by IndiAbbey Jones
Feb 18th, 2008
08:48:03 AM
www.cooltoyreview.com/T F2008/Hasbro/IJpresentation SPOILERS!
What's with the Ringwearer connection?
by SpencerTrilby
Feb 18th, 2008
08:54:04 AM
I don't remember what he was saying about ROTK back then, and am too lazy to use AICN's lazier search engine to find out.
re merriman
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
08:55:07 AM
I do see where he's coming from- and in a lot of ways he is right, but the ine he is taking falls down in one significant degree- this is still a Spielberg film.

Again, he does speak some truth when he says that Spielberg's best days are behind him, but Spielberg at 50% is still significantly better than almost all opposition.

And it's Indiana Jones, how can you not be a bit excited?

SpencerTrilby
by DocPazuzu
Feb 18th, 2008
08:55:40 AM
All his old stuff was deleted when he got the ban hammer (as ringbearer9), although I did save his King Kong review for posterity. It's pretty much the same thing.
What?
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Feb 18th, 2008
08:55:43 AM
Ringy was right about ROTK? In what capacity?
people aren't hating you for not loving the trailer
by ArcadianDS
Feb 18th, 2008
08:57:47 AM
they're hating you for this whole 'Woodward and Bernstein' moment you're trying to fabricate out of a complete non-story.

This just in: THE MPAA CENSORS STUFF! Film at 11

Someone in your original fantasy-driven talkback already explained this: there is a "General Audiences" trailer and a "PG-13" trailer, and both are being distributed within the United States. The website went ahead and posted the "G" trailer on their website in case, y'know, kids are interested in Indiana Jones - God forbid (or Xenu forbid in this case) that we make Indiana Jones accessible to a whole new generation.

I'm going to be posting this to Eli Roth's underpants in case you're there and not here.

Spencer
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
08:58:38 AM
Ringy had a blind irrational hatred towards Jackson and LOTR, because it didn't meet his utterly ludicrous obsessional standards. He slated and bashed it ad nauseum for the most pointy headed of reasons.

Although I did not like ROTK, I didn't like it for totally different reasons to Ringy.

Because he's crazy. And anyway, I liked the first 2, and he hated them from the moment that jackson was announced as director.

know what I suggest?
by Mr Gorilla
Feb 18th, 2008
08:59:09 AM
Don't watch any trailers. Instead, watch Raiders in February, Temple of Doom in March, Last Crusade in April, and then Crystal Skull in May. If you do that, you'll probably enjoy it plenty, because you'll be expecting an Indiana Jones film, nothing more, nothing less. Not the Treasure of Sierra Madre. Not Lawrence of Arabia. Not Fellowship of the Ring. Just good, plain, Indiana Jones.
if you pause the trailer at 1:13
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
08:59:33 AM
you can see me dying of the flu
Merriman's problem...
by DocPazuzu
Feb 18th, 2008
08:59:42 AM
...is that he's listed "faults" with the film that he can never back down on, even after seeing it, much like NoDiggity. A lot of people have listed quibbles with the trailer which, while I don't agree with most of them, only pertain to the trailer and allow for the possibility that the film might not suck. This I can respect. Rabid haterism? Not so much.
MNG- In that it wasn't great
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
09:00:13 AM
albeit his reason's for it not being great were laughable.

Ringy was right by accident not design.

Doc,
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
09:02:45 AM
SOme of Merriman's reasoning is sound.

1)The Phantom Menace had a great trailer and was a horrible let down.

2)Everyone involved peaked ages ago.

3)George Lucas is behind the crystal skull thing and was allegedly behind the dustbinning of the Darabont script.

However, he doesn't take into account the mitigating factors- It's INDIANA JONES and SPielberg past his peak is still pretty fucking good, and Lucas is not on as director or writer.

I like a lot of Spielbergs new stuff
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
09:04:31 AM
I really liked WOTW, which was much scarier version of Cloverfield. And I loved AI, even though I know a lot of people hate that movie
AI was terrible Kloipy,
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
09:06:41 AM
It was awful.

Munich was 2/3rd's great.

I know, most people hated it
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
09:08:12 AM
but I really dug it, but then again it's depressing as fuck, and sometimes I love a good depressing movie. And I can understand why people hated it.
Excellent Editing
by Saluki
Feb 18th, 2008
09:11:52 AM
Funny that Mori's problem is my highlight for the trailer. The editing. The segue from the warehouse explosion to the plane on the horizon to the Spielberg title card is downright masterful with that section of William's score.
Jarv
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
09:13:50 AM
I was sad to see our BOnd TB not on the top 10 anymore
THIS JUST IN: Merriman doesn't direct big movies
by ArcadianDS
Feb 18th, 2008
09:15:10 AM
The US flag in that shot was done for artistic and aesthetic reasons and nothing more. Regardless of whether you are American or not, that shot looks good. It has that 'touch of evil' tracking quality to it. And as it pans upwards, it has this great moment where the perspective goes from intimate to distant, as if you've just looked behind the green curtain and exposed the tiny little wizard of Oz. Your theory that this 3 second blink is added because it will make the movie suddenly and instantly profitable is just dumb. Think it through more.

Your whole argument is like asking, "why does the camera move close to Roy Scheider and away from the background when he first sees the shark attack in Jaws? It makes no sense. My eyes dont work like that in real life!!" hey dummy - its a director trying to be, y'know, artistic and stuff. It looks like you want us to choose between your vision of what this movie should be (a movie involving the US Govt without ever showing a US flag in it), or with Mr Spielberg's vision of what this movie should be.

Now to be fair to you, before we decide which of you we are going to support, could you please tell us how many Oscars you have for Best Director and/or Best Picture? Thanks.

yes. I was too.
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
09:20:12 AM
I went back and nostalgically posted, but I think we need about 50 to put it back on the board, and that's just too many
I'm curious to know what a 15/16 year old
by skimn
Feb 18th, 2008
09:20:19 AM
who knows nothing of the originals, who grew up on The Matrix and only knows of Eps I, II, and III of Star Wars thanks of this. "Who the fuck is this Indiana Jones, and who is that old guy?" This teaser is like catnip to the fans, but what of the newbies? The teaser for Live Free looked more like a "I gotta see that shit!" for the newbies than this.
I read somewhere that that Jaws shot
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
09:21:18 AM
came about as a result of the Shark being cross-eyed.

It was a semi-improvised piece of genius.

yeah and I'm too sick to do it right now too
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
09:21:54 AM
caught the flu from my wife, and yet here I am still at work
Where are all the Indy fans?
by Duke322
Feb 18th, 2008
09:22:02 AM
I can't believe the negativity. As a rabid Jones fan I thought for a TEASER, it teased right nice. The expected, but exciting shadow shot of him putting the iconic fedora on, a never before seen action shot of whip swinging (finally he's not just swinging over a chasm), all the locations and some quipy dialogue. Lucas didn't direct or write so it's not TPM all over again. Give it a freaking chance to be awesome before deciding it sucks.
Thanks for the Ringy explanation
by SpencerTrilby
Feb 18th, 2008
09:22:17 AM
I can picture the guy now, as I went to see the premiere of ROTK with the same kind of people: ROTK was (and still is) one of the biggest kick in the ass I ever took in theaters - having not read the books I had no emotional connection except the previous two films that I mildly enjoyed. But the third one was an experience like I rarely, if ever, had before in theaters.

And then, once the end credits roll, as I manage to get up my seat with a big smile on my face, one of the folks I went to the movie with (a big LOTR fan since childhood - complete with self-painted toys on his desk) starts shouting at the screen in the packed theater: "Jackson is an asshole!!! HE DIDN'T GET IT!!!"

The most embarassing movie moment. Ever.

Arcadian
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
09:26:30 AM
That argument is spurious. It is irrelevant whether he is a director or not- he has every right to criticise.

I would use the Dr. Johnson quote I always use in instances like this, but I only used it the other day and don't want to wear it out.

unlucky Kloipy.
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
09:28:26 AM
shit man, at least it's monday. You could get the whole week off if you time it right
Hahaha I wish I could get the whole week off
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
09:30:09 AM
Of cource my job doesn't recognize holidays and I have to work to accrue my hours of sick time and use them on my holidays if I need off.
Ladies...
by Braffed
Feb 18th, 2008
09:31:43 AM
Good Morning. Happy Monday!
course not cource.
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
09:32:11 AM
I'm going to wait until I have something important to do and then vomit on my computer
Ok, granted, Ringwearer9 was right by accident
by chrth
Feb 18th, 2008
09:32:32 AM
But ROTK was an abomination, and SpencerTrilby: your friend was right. Jackson didn't get it. Which is why the Rankin-Bass version is the most faithful adaptation of ROTK we'll likely ever see.
Your job doesn't recognise holidays?
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
09:32:48 AM
That's fucking horrible
The most embarassing movie moment
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
09:34:35 AM
went to see a movie with my friend and he starts talking loudly to me and doesn't shut off his cell phone and proceeds to text on it while the movie was playing. And both of those things are HUGE pet peeves to me, I haven't invited him to come see a movie with me since then.
Lost Jarv
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Feb 18th, 2008
09:35:10 AM
Well, to each his own. Very few films are perfect per se. But I, for one, thought that one was pretty effin' great.

I could only give Ringy a little leeway on KING KONG. While his pre-release hate was unprecedented, I have to laugh at the fact that he saw the movie more than once in the theaters. The irony of him lining PJ's pockets is just too sweet.

Only Christmas Jarv
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
09:35:16 AM
and they don't pay for it, we have to use our time off
buy that phone blocker thing
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
09:35:44 AM
either that or a cattle prod.

Every time you see the light from a screen- just lean forward and zap them with the cattle prod. They won't do it again.

This just in!!!!
by Braffed
Feb 18th, 2008
09:36:28 AM
i farted
I think Kloipy needs to find a job outside the coal mine
by chrth
Feb 18th, 2008
09:36:30 AM
Or needs to strike for a 5-day work week, one of the two.
Fair enough MNG
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
09:37:20 AM
he was ridiculous over Kong. Wasn't that the "wrong colour of fire" delusion.

I didn't know he went to see it multiple times. The idiot.

I work for a Medical company
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
09:39:39 AM
and a BIG one, and you'd think they would be a little more understanding with their employees. but no. I will have to buy that cattle prod it could come in handy for theater patrons who feel the need to use laser pointers, I fucking hate when you get a bunch of annoying kids in the cinema and they won't shut up no matter what you do.
Kloipy...
by Braffed
Feb 18th, 2008
09:40:40 AM
Do you work for Merck?
Can you steal some "samples"
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
09:40:55 AM
and use them to self medicate?
I AM SIR CHARGE!!!!
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 18th, 2008
09:41:16 AM
Peekaboo!! Sir Charge!!
Anyone here ever used to hang out at TF.N?
by chrth
Feb 18th, 2008
09:41:36 AM
There was a guy there called Binary Sunset, and he believed that the only good Star Wars movie was the original (aka A New Hope). Hated Empire, hated ROTJ. The funny thing was, after you listened to him for awhile, and the more you discussed the movies (why the hell does everyone love Empire? what's the big deal with Bounty Hunters?), you started to see his point of view.

Of course, I still love ROTJ (Ewoks be damned!) so I never went completely to his viewpoint. But one has to wonder if Ringwearer9 (and others) could've been more persuasive in a more formal forum environment.

I wish I could Jarv
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
09:43:13 AM
I'm in the corporate office though in IT so no special meds here in the office. I do have some percocet left over from my intestine surgeries though...hmmm Nyquil and Percs and Ticks on tape sounds like a winning combo
The reason Ringy will never be persuasive
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
09:44:36 AM
is not that the environment is too brutal. It is that his arguments are hysterical, unstructure, obsessive bollocks and undermined by his slavish devotion to Tolkien.

For a prime example of him being an obsessed dickhead have a look at the Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows TB. He was ridiculous in that, and his arguments were beyond belief.

braffed
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
09:46:13 AM
no
DocPazuzu
by vadakinX
Feb 18th, 2008
09:46:21 AM
Did I say the Americans are nazi's? No. Americans don't exterminate entire races (they just lock them up and torture them without justification...oops here comes the backlash :P) but there are similarities between Nazi nationalism and American patriotism. Now obviously, the US aren't likely to invade other countries without just cause...uh...no, wait, let me try something else...the US is all about promoting freedom and...damn it...Bush is not a war criminal...aww crap...ok, ok the US is as bad as Nazi Germany.

So, are you mad yet? Busy writing a response telling me to shut up in a whole manner of unsavoury ways? Well I'm going to tell you to calm down before you start. Of course the US isn't like Nazi Germany, you just have some assholes in charge, who luckily you can get rid of (to be replaced by a different asshole...Clinton, Obama, McCain...take your pick).

I was just making the point that there are striking similarities between the Nazi and American ideas of patriotism. And Hollywood plays into that idea of patriotism, and the reverence and devotion Americans have for their national flag. The US certainly isn't the "land of the free," it has its problems, but it's no Nazi Germany, and I never suggested that.

wash it down with a Scotch
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
09:46:25 AM
seriously, It's my mothers flu cure-

Double scotch, juice of half a lemon, tablespoon of honey and lots of hot water in a mug. Stir it up an drink while hot.

It may or may not work but enough of them and you won't care.

MERRIMAN WILL IN ALL LIKELIHOOD BE PROVEN CORRECT
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 18th, 2008
09:46:37 AM
Altough I'm not gonna hate on Ford, Spielberg or Allen, and will probably see it anyway, this movie will probably suck balls. It has a Koepp script with Lucas' alien elements, *SHIA LEBEEF*, and some things already pointed out by Merriman.

I hated Crusade and that had SEAN CONNERY. They really should've kept SHORT ROUND or cast someone else as Indy's son, and gone with the Darabont script. Then it could've been something to get excited over and not pour excuses for.

Peekaboo!! Sir Charge!!!

AHHHHH ... your money!!!

The cutting of the music was shit
by I Dunno
Feb 18th, 2008
09:47:04 AM
That's the biggest problem I had with the trailer. The looping and cutting of the soundtrack was horrible. How do professionals not see that?
There is nothing wrong with slavish devotion to Tolkien!
by chrth
Feb 18th, 2008
09:48:19 AM
Slavish devotion to the bible is bad. To Tolkien? Good.

I remember RW9's arguments, so I see where you're coming from. But at the same time, Talkback forces a sort of style in order to garner attention. Was his talkback arguments "hysterical, unstructure, obsessive bollocks" because of him, or because of Talkback?

And that's your zen thought for the day

Jarv re:flu cure
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
09:48:45 AM
Your mom is a genius. I'm trying one of those tonight. I'll call it FTF-Fuck the Flu
Just ignore him, Kloipy,
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
09:48:47 AM
seriously of his contribution to the conversation one has been to call everyone "ladies" and the other has been to crack a fart joke.

Don't encourage the little prick.

YO KLOIPS!!!
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 18th, 2008
09:48:47 AM
Um, let's not divulge more information about your occupation. A certain joyless stalker of yours might use it to track you down (hint: Braffed) ... SHHH!!!!

I am Sir Charge!!!! Who's gonna pay for this bloody suit?!?!

because of him
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
09:49:47 AM
although it may have been amplified by the TB.
Uh, didnt darabonts script have aliens?
by vadakinX
Feb 18th, 2008
09:50:31 AM
Koepp rewrote darabonts script...so I wouldn't be surprised if aliens were in that script.

Darabont is overrated anyway, and to be honest, I'd be more worried if Lucas wasn't involved.

I prefer a rum cure myself
by chrth
Feb 18th, 2008
09:50:54 AM
A double-shot of spiced rum, straight, will usually get my immune system working in overdrive.

And if it doesn't, who cares?

that's all I'm posting to him
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
09:51:04 AM
I'm done now. I'm not letting myself get into any more senseless, pointless fights with the guy. I'm too tired and too sick for that
I don't know if PJ "got it" or not as I haven't read the book
by SpencerTrilby
Feb 18th, 2008
09:51:07 AM
all I know is that he really put together a terrific movie experience. That's all I needed.
KLOIPY YOU HAVE THE FLU?
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 18th, 2008
09:53:46 AM
I have a remedy for you. It was given to me by an ex-GF and it freaking works.

This is no joke, this is like some elixir. Anyway, pour Coca cola into a pot and put in a generous amount of sliced raw ginger. Bring to a boil then let simmer. Drink it down.

And make sure you sweat it out under warm covers with Mentholatum ointment on your back, shoulders, back of neck and chest.

I AM SIR CHARGE!!!

Peekaboo!

BSB and chrth
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
09:54:29 AM
BSB-I'm not worried, he'll never figure it out, and I wouldn't give the name out anyway
Chrth-that sounds good as well, I used to have a surefire cure for the common cold. Menthol Cigs + a purple haze blunt, a bowl of hot miso soup, and a Marx Brothers movie
thanks for all the flu tips guys
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
09:55:33 AM
I'll try all of them, at least it can't hurt!
To really sort yourself out
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
09:57:31 AM
the hot toddy and a vindaloo.

You'll be pissed and sweat like a blind lesbian in a fish shop, but it should cure you.

My flu cure...never be sick again...
by vadakinX
Feb 18th, 2008
09:58:59 AM
Fiji. Yes, Fiji...move to Fiji and you will never get the flu
off for a smoke.
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
10:01:13 AM
Don't know why I felt the need to share that with you.

Sorry.

Kloipy
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Feb 18th, 2008
10:02:28 AM
I second the Scotch Treatment. Get yourself an Islay Single Malt (Lagavulin...if you want to do it in style) and mix it with some fresh air. Believe me when I say that it DOES have medicinal qualities!
thanks MNG
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
10:03:55 AM
I think I may have to sip on some apricot brandy as well tonight. Just to warm the soul
Kloipy: Just don't do them all at the same time
by chrth
Feb 18th, 2008
10:07:49 AM
That's too many cures!
hahaha I'll be cured of the flu
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
10:09:17 AM
but not of alcohol poisoning
if I come back in here later
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
10:10:46 AM
and you see me talking about why Owls only seem to want to talk at nighttime and how I think that The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers movie is a film of understated beauty, someone needs to call 911 because I'm on my death bed
The swinging on the whip scene is great classic Indy
by Stereotypical Evil Archer
Feb 18th, 2008
10:15:24 AM
Impossible and funny...that's Indy!
Kloipy
by kwisatzhaderach
Feb 18th, 2008
10:15:28 AM
I love A.I. too. I saw it with a group of 5 other people and they all hated it. My assumption is they just watched it on the level of it being a cute kid Spielberg movie whereas it's actually one of the most depressing, hopeless movies ever made. If only Kubrick had lived to make it, what a movie that would have been. Regardless, A.I. is a masterpiece compared to most summer movies these days. It's a movie for the minority though. The themes tackled in A.I. are mostly verboten in popular culture.
kwisatzhaderach
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
10:21:00 AM
yeah, most people I have talked to about it really violently hate it. My wife was pissed I made her watch it because it made her extremly sad. The scene where David has realized that he is not unique after he finds all the other copies of him and he is sitting on the ledge and just mutter "mommy" before dropping off is just so fucking heartbreaking. And just the idea that he spent thousands of years just begging a statue so that he could be real and be loved is just so iconic of the yearning to be loved that you can lose your mind because of it. Even the ending is bittersweet. I didn't like the Chris Rock cameo and some of it dragged a little in the middle section of the film. But to me, it was such a great tragedy of someone who is created to love that can never fully BE loved and the heartache it can cause. Just something about it struck such a chord with me and I think it is one of Spielbergs most underated and def. one of his darkest films
It doesn't make me sad
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
10:23:27 AM
I just hate it.
hey klo you poor bastard
by occula
Feb 18th, 2008
10:24:58 AM
i feel your pain, man, just remember if you start coughing green, you gotta get on the real pills or it'll never go away. although those folk remedies are brilliant. my hub's grandfather had a remedy: brew a tea with chicken shit in it. yes, they're from the deep south.
I had two problems with AI
by chrth
Feb 18th, 2008
10:25:23 AM
1) The movie would've been better without the alien 'coda' ... just end it with the kid looking at the blue fairy

2) Who the hell designs a robot without an escape sequence for an infinite loop?

tea with chicken shit
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
10:25:59 AM
i think I may have to pass on that one Occula, but thanks for the well wishes :)
i gots a question.
by occula
Feb 18th, 2008
10:27:36 AM
this is because i'm a girl and ill-educated about certain technological things: can anybody tell me why, sometimes, when i link to a trailer like the ones above, it has a terrible time loading and just goes all jerky? and sometimes it's fine? is that my computer, my connection or some other issue? i appreciate any 411, it's really frakking annoying.
another movie I loved that a lot hate
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
10:28:05 AM
was the newer live action version of Peter Pan. Thought it was also beautiful and heartbreaking as well. And the mermaid scene was fucking fantastic
CHICKEN SHIT ?!?!?!?
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
10:28:41 AM
what?

This remainds me of the Transformers thread where a japanese girl called P-chan recommended gargling something warm and salty. No thanks.

Although AI isn't great
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
10:30:57 AM
it is a masterpiece compared to the dreck that was foisted on the public this summer.

*goes away muttering darkly about Spiderman 3*

I'm off to lunch
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
10:31:19 AM
don't know if I'm coming back to work or not. So if not thanks for all the well wishes!
Jarv- my friend, we may not agree on AI but I know we agree on Toxic Avenger and that is much much more important!
Kloipy
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
10:33:35 AM
tamiflu works best, I thinks thats the correct spelling.
Phantom Menace may have the best trailer I've ever seen
by GodMars
Feb 18th, 2008
10:34:07 AM
And this one definitely is definitely underwhelming to cringe worthy. But the trailer clearly doesn't make the movie, and I'm not quite sure what to make of it.
occula
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
10:35:32 AM
That's the problem I had with the links.
true , Kloipy
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
10:36:30 AM
Toxic Avenger is an underrated masterpiece. See you tomorrow.
Fazed by a phase
by webslinger48
Feb 18th, 2008
10:41:21 AM
You can phase in, phase out, or put two mechanisms in phase. You can go through a phase in your life, or ask a multi-phased question. But a shitty trailer can only faze you.
vadakinX
by DocPazuzu
Feb 18th, 2008
10:58:45 AM
Wrong again, tooly. There are vast differences between American patriotism and Nazism. By your post it's obvious that you equate American patriotism with fidelity to those currently in charge of the nation. I'm a moderate, hate Bush and his crew and adhere to western democratic ideals concerning human rights. And guess what? I'm also a patriotic American. I believe in equal rights for all human beings regardless of race, gender, religion or creed and that it's my DUTY as a citizen to criticize the U.S. when I feel it's in the wrong.

Now, explain to me how I'm similar to a Nazi.

I feel filthy even having to lower myself to such a debate.

Relativist jackass.

Indy movies aren't only loved just by us geeks
by Tacom
Feb 18th, 2008
10:59:11 AM
Seeing the trailer before The Spiderwick Chronicles, there were a lot of people in the audience who didn't even know there was a new Indy movie coming out. Most who knew about the trailer saw it online instead. The trailer got applause afterward and people was genuine excitement about it. That's the thing that's sets it apart from Star Wars. Most people, adults and kids love the Indiana Jones movies. With the Star Wars movies it's mostly "owned" and loved by us geeks and grown up children of the last generation. Everybody likes the Indy movies, especially RAIDERS. Mainstream moviegoers might not obsess about them like we do but they all generally love it and would want to see a new one.
Tacom
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
11:03:34 AM
before the prequels, Star Wars was almost universally loved.

It wasn't worshipped by the public like it is by geeks, but it was loved.

If you want a property that is "owned" by geeks- look no further than star trek.

Are you British Vadakin?
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
11:07:20 AM
Just curious.
I agree 100% DocP
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
11:16:26 AM
Being patriotic doesn't mean that you blindly follow your govt no matter what they do. Look at the civil war, that is partiotism, people fighting for what they believe is right when injustice abounds. I also hate Bush and I don't support the war and I let it be known because I believe that american can be a great country and it once was, however in the past 7 years things have slid the wrong way, and I feel that it is my responsiblity to try to show how I believe it is wrong
I've seen plenty of trailers with guns pointing at people!
by kungfugazi
Feb 18th, 2008
11:18:39 AM
Not only does Speed Racer have guns being pointed, they're also firing, and Speed Racer is going for a "G" rating. This is pure Spielberg, not the MPAA. Remember E.T. redux? This movie looks BAD, Ford looks bored out of his mind in the trailer. What a shame...
There's a huge difference between ET and Indy
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
11:20:44 AM
totally different subject matter.
here's the Indy 2nd trailer that some of you might enjoy
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
11:28:04 AM
we open on a simmering road, the visage of someone walking towards the camera. Finally we focus on Ford's iconic hat and whip at his side. He has been practicaly altertered to look 20 years younger and he has a look on his face of excitement. He is carrying 2 Uzis and is firing them blindly into a crowd of aliens/ghost/robots/nazis. You hear his whip crack(but not too much as to take away from the iconicness of the 'whip' sound). Shia appears but only for 3 seconds when we see his face explode in a rain of blood and gore and he appears no longer in the movie. Cate is taking 2 large dongs in the bum and vag while spouting out things like "temple of poon". Indy staps on his rocket skates and flies towards the camera, winking at us. We see scenes of him killing natives, digging up an alien ship, which Predators come out of, Indy swings from vines only using his prehensile penis. Everything is so quick cut that you aren't sure if this is an indy trailer or a Tide with bleach commercial. It ends with the title and the remixed version of the theme song featuring Akon and T.Pain as short round writes the words Crystal Skull in sand with Marions sagging nipples. Fade to black
This could be the turning point.
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
11:28:38 AM
I'm really looking forward to this movie but after seeing this trailer and hearing little bits and pieces I'm a little concerned. The good thing is this is ONLY a little teaser so I'll take it for what it is.If this movie ends up being really silly then this could really be the turning point for Lucas. I think the general public might turn on him.
Lost Jarv there are many who avoid Sci-fi films
by Tacom
Feb 18th, 2008
11:29:56 AM
But they have seen and enjoyed the Indiana Jones movies. Also I think the classic SW trilogy is actually now EVEN MORE beloved because of how people were disappoined with the prequels, ironically.
Fair enough,
by Lost Jarv
Feb 18th, 2008
11:35:49 AM
Sci-Fi does carry a stigma. But I actually thought Star Wars had transcended it, unlike Trek.
Jarv I agree
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
11:40:01 AM
I think Star Wars is universaly accepted by people who haven't seen any other SF stuff. I know tons of people who usually only watch action/comedy but still like Staw Wars. Trek is just too sci-fi for most people though. The only time it came close was when First Contact came out
Hey Brokeback!
by Braffed
Feb 18th, 2008
11:42:42 AM
go Fuck yourself...I was trying to be nice.
maybe but,
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
11:44:02 AM
Anytime I bring up SW to people these days they just complain about how Lucas changed this added that. I'm talking about the original movies too. I know I love the originals just as much as ever but I think the public is just to confussed about the whole thing these days and I believe that will catch up to him. Maybe sooner than later is this movie is silly.
JLo
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
11:47:28 AM
I'm one of those folks who the prequel caused me to dislike the OT. I still think they are good movies, but my love for them has waned and I doubt other than showing my children them some day that I will ever watch them on my own. Phantom Menace really pissed me off and I just can't feel the Star Wars love anymore
You made me laugh real hard Kloipy
by SpencerTrilby
Feb 18th, 2008
11:47:46 AM
that teaser is the stuff Uwe Boll's dreams are made of.
Spencer
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
11:53:38 AM
i just tried to think (in my flu rattled state) what could be TB proof, but I'm sure someone would think it wasn't 'double penetration-y' enough or something
Kloipy
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
11:56:30 AM
You are not alone on that. I know a lot of people feel that way and it's totally understandable. Thats the reason I think Lucas' credablitly is on the line with this movie.
At least with Indy you still have the same character
by Tacom
Feb 18th, 2008
11:58:58 AM
With Star Wars prequels people had to be asked to accept new characters or different versions of old characters. At least with Indy it's the same character played by the same actor that people like, with recognizable icons like the whip and fedora. did at the end of the ROCKY BALBOA character
JLo
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
12:01:22 PM
I think it just came out of my love of Star Wars growing up. How much time I had invested in it. The magic I had felt watching those movies as a kid. When the SE of the OT came out I still loved just getting to see them all in the theater(even though I didn't like a lot of what Lucas added) so i got really hyped to see the new ones. And when I finally did see Menace, I remember going home that night, trying to convince myself that it was a good movie just because I wanted to love it so much. But my better judgement won me over and I just all out hated that movie and what it seemed to stand for(ie making lots of money by losing the spirit of what made the originals great). I know a lot of people say that they hate ROTJ, but what is better in that movie than all of the prequels put together, is a least in Return you get to see an girls nipple before she gets eaten by a monster. Nipples are way better than the PT
People didn't laugh like at the ROCKY BALBOA trailer
by Tacom
Feb 18th, 2008
12:06:14 PM
which is what I meant.
thx mr. j
by occula
Feb 18th, 2008
12:13:39 PM
for being the only sumbitch to sort-of answer my question! all you other guys are obviously not nerdy enuf. ;) how's the lawnchair haps?
other than what took them so damn long....
by crankyoldguy
Feb 18th, 2008
12:22:36 PM
I really think they could've done another 2-3 Indie films by now. After all, the scripts aren't, ahem, the holy grail, they're just well done f-u-n. Now as I near the half century mark, I have no issues with an older Indie, etc. The rants here over trailers is always a hoot. And this Indie 4 trailer has me looking forward to the film. In fact, I'd rather see this than last year's hype-of-brilliance fests like No Pacing for Old Directors (sloowww and not even close to the brothers' best) or There Will Be Ponderous Movie-Making or Michael Yawndom. And the Shia kid doesn't bother this elder (though we'll see in the entire movie). He was likeable in Transformers, much better than the One Tree Gossip Girl guys in Cloverfield (walked out, asked for money back) though not as much as Megan Fox who of course had me feeling like a Cranky Old Lusty Man.
People may have laughed at the Balboa trailer
by SpencerTrilby
Feb 18th, 2008
12:26:02 PM
but they ate their words and wept like in the good ol' days (I sure did) when the movie ended. Indy ain't emotional stuff but if the movie is good enough to make people SMILE when coming out of the theater then it's a worthy Indy movie. Very few people smiled at the end of TPM, for sure...
kungfugazi: there's a difference
by chrth
Feb 18th, 2008
12:26:14 PM
The problem isn't pointing a gun at someone, it's turning a gun on someone. Very subtle distinction, and frankly I think the MPAA is insane, but it is what it is.

PS: Glad to see Godwin's Law came into play.

Kaminski
by Son of Hades
Feb 18th, 2008
12:26:34 PM
Spielberg and Kaminski watched the first three films at an Amblin screening room to study Slocombe's style. "I didn’t want Janusz to modernize and bring us into the 21st century," Spielberg said. "I still wanted the film to have a lighting style not dissimilar to the work Doug Slocombe had achieved, which meant that both Janusz and I had to swallow our pride. Janusz had to approximate another cinematographer’s look, and I had to approximate this younger director’s look that I thought I had moved away from after almost two decades."
I smiled at the end of TPM
by chrth
Feb 18th, 2008
12:27:52 PM
I thought the final shot of Palps was great. And the Saber Duel was awesome. Heck, the end of the movie made me forget about the crappy 3/4s of the movie that came beforehand.
Kloipy
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
12:44:23 PM
I know this is totally differant than the PT but if that silly vibe that was in TPM ends up in this new Iniana Jones movie the general movie going public is really going to start to notice and stop going to these things. Then the powers that be might finally sit back and rethink their buisness plan.
american flag
by rajium32
Feb 18th, 2008
12:46:04 PM
Hey I'm sure someone has thought of this, but the American flag was probably a sarcastic remark made by the filmmakers for the absolutely stupid MPAA requirements. "American land of the free" haha what a joke. etc etc
occula
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
12:48:06 PM
Were you talking to me? Did I really help you with a tech question? Wow thats crazy I'm the last person to talk to about computer tech stuff.
JLo I agree man
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
12:50:54 PM
That's why I was really disheartened when I heard they were scraping Darabont's script. That's a man who knows how to walk the line of nostalgia without leaping into the corny.
chrth
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
12:54:23 PM
I love that scene too. There are some things about each of those PT movies that I love. I just feel like some of the stuff was put in so they could sell video games and stuff.The thing is, eventually it is going to catch up to them. The only thing that will get them to change is $$
Kloipy
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
12:58:35 PM
For some reason I'm getting the vibe that somehow somewhere during this film things are going to be explained that don't need to be explained. Like maybe the ghosts at the end of Raiders,or something to that effect. Kind of like the Force was explained to us in TPM.
the Force
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
01:01:27 PM
seriously, if you are a real fan of Star Wars, and you just give Lucas a pass with what he did to the force, that is some low shit. Effectivly he just took 20 years of something that didnt need to be explained, something spiritual, something with more depth, and just turned it into bacteria, that is some fucking bullshit
Why Lucas gave us Midichlorians
by chrth
Feb 18th, 2008
01:06:04 PM
I believe Lucas did it as a giant fuck you to all the wannabe Jedis on the planet Earth. "Why can't I be a Jedi?" "You have no Midichlorians, dude. They only existed a long time ago in a galaxy far far away."

Frankly, I blame the EU for a lot of the shit we saw in the PT. But then again, I blame the EU for global warming, so I may not be the best arbiter of that assignation.

doing it as a 'fuck you'
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
01:08:28 PM
I can understand how after years of people blabbing to you over and over about something you made 20 years ago that you would get sick of it, but at the same token, why even make prequels if you are tired of the material? Why shit in the face of the people who made you famous and who actually care about your 'space opera'.
The Force
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
01:12:29 PM
I think to the general public they just hear that line in TPM and think "that was dumb" and move on. But over time and enough "that was dumb" moments people start to catch on. The thing is these guys like Lucas are in a league of their own cause of what they have done. For them, there is no real competition in their arena of movie making. They have nothing to fear so they can cut cost and do whatever they please. But, I really believe if this movie comes off dumbed down and turned into a video game the public's not going to buy it any more.
I don't think Lucas did it as a 'fuck you' per se
by chrth
Feb 18th, 2008
01:13:54 PM
I think Lucas has never been comfortable with people using The Force as a Religion or registering as a Jedi in their religious affiliation. I think he was looking for a way to (hopefully) get people to embrace reality, rather than the fantasy he had created onscreen.
"trailer bashing"?
by AllieJamison
Feb 18th, 2008
01:14:00 PM
To those complaining about "trailer bashing": Are we not allowed to criticize something, only because it isn't widely recognized as important as other things? I don't wanna know about the "useless crap" you talk about with your friends. Trailers are almost an own film genre. Some make you believe that what you will see is the best film ever made and some just...don't. This is one of the latter category. And it's not even very hard to see why it is not trailer magic.
J
by occula
Feb 18th, 2008
01:15:04 PM
you didn't say how the lawnchair army is doing!

klo, did you go home yet? you realize you're just spreading the plague in your office, right? tell the man 'up-yours' and go home to bed!!

The Force
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
01:17:13 PM
I think Lucas knew he was going to have explain some things in the PT. You know people were asking him about this and that all the time. So he just lumped the Force into that pile on his desk of things to do while writting the script. I really think he was that out of touch
Occula
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
01:19:52 PM
yeah, I'm still at work. I have so much shit to do here it's not even funny. but I'm off tomorrow, so a quick doctor's visit, and it's in bed all day (or more likely in couch all day watching movies)
well done you
by occula
Feb 18th, 2008
01:27:33 PM
make sure you're stocked up on sick movies, those being the movies you wouldn't ordinarily watch while well but somehow make you feel better when you're feeling lousy. bad 80s movies are my personal fave, but when i had the peh-neumonia the other week i also re-watched all of BSG, which was pretty satisfying.
i was out for 2 1/2 months
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
01:37:00 PM
I had 2 surgeries(emergancy)on my intestines about a year ago, had about 12 feet removed, this was the 6th time I'd had surgery for my intestines. So I spent a lot of time in the hospital and at home. I had a huge collection of b-horror to keep my spirits up. The gore factor was also better because I actually got to witness someone pull my stomach open and put their hand inside while I was awake and on no pain meds. So it made it a little more easy to accept the shit that I had to go through when I got to see people get their heads cut off with hedge clippers :)
I dunno, I dunno...
by Merriman Lyon
Feb 18th, 2008
01:40:42 PM
Respect to those who support my take on this. The irony is that I won't know for sure if my prediction turns out to be correct because I have not the slightest inclination to actually see the movie. But after seeing this trailer, I'm 100% certain I'm right. And of course, I'll enjoy watching the flame wars right here on AICN after the movie's release. God, how I will laugh as the apologists rehash all the old excuses ("But it's for kids!", "at least it's better than Crusade!", "The CGI is WAY better than the old effects!", "Shia le Boeuf was FUNNY!" etc etc etc.

But putting aside how the movie turns out: I've watched this trailer a few times now and showed it to some people - and the more I think about it the more surprised I am at how underwhelming it all is. It's all a bit half-hearted, isn't it? It actually looks like one of those amateur fan trailers on youtube. I mean, this is our first glimpse of an iconic hero in over two decades..... Is this the best they can do? By contrast, look at the Phantom Menace teaser (link way above). IT ROCKS! Even though I KNOW how that turkey turned out, I'm STILL excited by the teaser! Look at it! It's amazing! And it's nine years old.

But with the Indy teaser, I'm watching it, thinking: "Oh, Indy's invulnerable now - he can slam into a moving truck no problem," "Oh, they're using a skinny teenage stuntman for Ford this time," "Oh they're making it into a Naked Gun style comedy," "Oh, they should've got Ford to say that line louder and with more emphasis," "Oh, it's like the Brady Bunch this time, with Poppa Jones, Momma Jones, baby Jones and Father-in-law Jones. Now what other re-heated franchise does that remind me of?" etc etc etc

Then I remember that Spielberg and Ford HATED (Lucas' words) the story on which the script is based. They hated it for YEARS. And that in the end they were forced to shoot this script or nothing. I'm betting their hearts just aren't in it any more. And that explains the strange lack of enthusiasm in the footage they've put out. It's like they don't even care about their own movie.

occula
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
01:42:23 PM
Yeah, that didn't work out to well. About 4am Saturday night the SWAT team was called in while we were sleeping. They turned the fire hose loose on us and then took us downtown and tried to book us for trespassing

I'm not sure how all of it started but apparently earlier that night a fight broke out between the SW line and the Welcome Home Roscoe Jones line. Needless to say one of the jedi's in line pulled his light saber in self defense and it was all over after that. The manager came out yelling at US and told us to leave. Of course we stayed so I guess he called the police. I really can't say to much more at this point, but I'm suprised you didn't see anything about it on TV. I know the news media was there.

Bitch bitch bitch
by pk68
Feb 18th, 2008
01:43:14 PM
Geeks movie's not out yet. Wait till it is then bitch...
No, no Xiphos, you've got it all wrong...
by Merriman Lyon
Feb 18th, 2008
01:53:16 PM
I KNEW the movie would suck BEFORE the trailer ever came out - just like I KNEW The Phantom Menace would suck back in 1999. The Indy trailer just confirmed it for me. I mean, if the makers can't be bothered to put some life into the trailer for THEIR OWN MOVIE, why should we be bothered going to see it?
BWAHAHAHA!!!
by occula
Feb 18th, 2008
01:55:04 PM
mr. j, that is fucking brilliant. i didn't see anything on the news because a)i was at a wedding and b)i haven't had my tv plugged in for a year so the only news i get is on the guardian website, so i only learn about kenya and whatever arsenal's doing that day. but holy crap, that's one for the ages. i hope you guys all band together and seek some sort of revenge, seriously. and i also hope everything was got on tape and you can film the revenge and make a doc out of it and sell it and get even MORE revenge!

hey xi me dear, how's tricks cowboy?

Merriman Lyon
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
01:55:50 PM
Well, hang in there. It's just simple buisness. If you make a bad product then people will stop buying it. It's going to be interesting to see how this movie turns out. If it's as bad as you're predicting then I think word of mouth will get around quick and people will be done with Lucas. Actually it might be the best thing for him.
Lost Jarv
by vadakinX
Feb 18th, 2008
01:57:04 PM
Nope, I'm Irish, so I hate the British too :P K that was a joke...I don't really hate the British, I'd wish they'd awknowledge their own brutal history but thats a different story lol

And DocPazuzu...read my posts again, notice the sarcasm? Notice where I said I wasn't implying that America was like Nazi Germany? Or where I predicted that you'd overreact?

Seriously, there's no conflict here, I just said there are similarities between the views on patriotism. Not that they're the same. And the ultimate point isn't whether the styles are similar, it's about what you do with that patriotism, and therein lies the difference.

Mr. JLo
by vadakinX
Feb 18th, 2008
02:01:28 PM
That idea of people not buying bad product, especially when it comes to movies, makes no sense...Fantastic Four, transformers, Meet the Spartans...the list of terrible movies that people went to see again and again is endless.

And Merriman...just out of curiosity...you're not known as "Educator" on another site, are you?

Thank you Xi
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
02:01:59 PM
for giving me that much needed smile
I loved Phantom Menace
by vadakinX
Feb 18th, 2008
02:04:32 PM
I'm not ashamed to admit it. Yes, Jar Jar was over the top, but overall it was a good, fun movie that would be right at home in the 1930's, which is what Lucas was trying to do in the first place.
Soldiers engulfed in a fireball is OK though
by MattmanReturns
Feb 18th, 2008
02:09:11 PM
So it's okay to show a fireball engulfing the soldiers, but not guns being POINTED at someone? The MPAA is absurd.
I am wearing a tricks t-shirt today
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
02:09:21 PM
Yeah we are planning a revenge of the Jedi march on the theater.
klingon mind meld
by occula
Feb 18th, 2008
02:09:42 PM
xi, you know me so well. today i am sewing frakking donkey tails. i have sunk to the very depths of my abilities here, people. the day will come when i will rise above, but today...is not that day.

merriman, i want to respect you because your handle indicates a love of one of my favorite books of all time, but it really seems like you're now arguing a point just because you don't want to concede any alternative possibilites.

AWESOME
by occula
Feb 18th, 2008
02:10:53 PM
as michael bay would say. mr. j, you show 'em. those pimply-faced masturbators running the popcorn stand had better back the fuck off!
Wrong again, Xiphos...
by Merriman Lyon
Feb 18th, 2008
02:13:54 PM
As I recall, it was about ten days AFTER TPM opened that I actually got to see it - in an almost empty theatre. I probably would have seen it on opening weekend except that I was busy moving from one country to another. However, I arrived in time to get the full TPM fallout. I remember telling a friend that I was going to see it that evening only for him to stare at me in disbelief. "You do realise that everyone hates it, don't you?" he said. Of course I had known this before the movie was released and set my expectations very, very low. But the movie didn't even reach them!

Ha ha! Well, can I borrow your fedora, please? Just to wear out and about, you know. But there's no way I'm wasting my time and money on this movie. I'd much rather you see it for me and then tell me how much it sucks. Then you can have your fedora back.

everybody hated TPM...
by vadakinX
Feb 18th, 2008
02:17:24 PM
which is why it bombed at the box of...wait a sec...no it didn't...Lucas must have bought out the screenings himself, because there's no way that people could have actually enjoyed it...
Merriman Lyon
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Feb 18th, 2008
02:18:57 PM
"I KNEW the movie would suck BEFORE the trailer ever came out..."

Hmmm. Have you met fellow Talkbackers Ringwearer9 and I am Batman (aka moviemack)? You guys should start a Pre-Hate Guild or something.

Occula, Vadakin...
by Merriman Lyon
Feb 18th, 2008
02:20:13 PM
Nope, I'm the one and only Merriman - never met this Educator gentleman - though I do believe I am schooling some people here, heh, heh.

What alternative could I possibly concede? This movie is a joke, from first to last. I am so confident that this movie will suck that I am prepared to give a verdict on it WITHOUT EVEN SEEING IT. And I am so certain that I am right that I don't even need to see it at all to find out if I was right or not. The odds are just so heavily in my favour. Do I need to list the reasons again? Do I really need to do that?

I saw ganeymeade in a TB around here
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
02:20:51 PM
earlier today
vadakinX
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
02:21:45 PM
Well you are right about people going to stupid movies over and over again. But right now Lucas and his brand are the biggest of the big, king of the hill. All I'm saying is if this movie ends up being kind of silly like some of the other movies he's made lately then maybe they won't be the top of the top anymore. Don't get me wrong I'm going and I'm excited but I'm just a little concerned about some of the things I've been hearing.
Vadakinx
by DocPazuzu
Feb 18th, 2008
02:22:43 PM
You lack the courage of your convictions. Again, I ask you point blank: How is my patriotism similar to that of Nazism?
Merriman-1 thing
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
02:24:04 PM
I will let you sit here and make claims that you are all-knowing about the failure of a movie you haven't seen, but you have to do me one thing. When this movie comes out, don't post in a TB about it. Because we now know your opinion and we shouldn't have to hear about what you think of a movie you haven't seen. So keep spouting your crap, but in a couple of months I don't want to see you on here. Alright. Good
Midichlorians...
by vadakinX
Feb 18th, 2008
02:24:06 PM
Uh...do you guys not remember the originals? While midichlorians didn't appear in those films, Lucas actually developed the idea back when he was writing the first Star Wars and even had the name. It just never made it into the films.

Also, it's hardly surprising that there are midichlorians anyway...the originals had already shown that there was a biological connection to the Force by virtue of the fact that Force potential was hereditary.

"The Force is strong in my family. My father has it, I have it and my sister...has it."

The Force has always had a biological connection, not jst in the prequels, so I think people need to get over their hatred of midichlorians, it's a logical premise based on what we know from the originals.

Mr Nice Gaius
by Merriman Lyon
Feb 18th, 2008
02:24:16 PM
Don't recall those posters - but as you point out I am far from being the only one who has figured out the truth. You've just got to turn off your blinkers, switch on your brain, think for yourself, wait five seconds and...........you KNOW the movie will suck CRYSTAL BALLS.
occula
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
02:25:53 PM
Now your're scaring me, I ate that popcorn everyday!
'the neck.' brilliant.
by occula
Feb 18th, 2008
02:26:51 PM
merriman, the alternative you could concede is that the film might possibly be good enough that some people would enjoy it. whether or not those people are the kind of mongoloids you seem to think WOULD enjoy this film remains to be seen, but how about that?
Much like moviemack...
by DocPazuzu
Feb 18th, 2008
02:27:24 PM
...vanished for ages after Batman Begins opened, Merriman will disappear if Indy turns out to be good. He will never admit to being wrong or even seeing the film. He will either come back much later and with much less bluster or he will simply come back under another name.

The real question is why NoDiggity hasn't weighed in yet.

Come on Xiphos, Merriman is RIGHT
by just pillow talk
Feb 18th, 2008
02:28:23 PM
Must I go OVER this yet AGAIN. When you type SPECIFIC words in CAPS it makes you RIGHT.

MNG is right, you do need to form a PRE-HATE GUILD. You can print up t-shirts and cards. It'll be fun.

Kloipy...hope all is well with ya brother
by just pillow talk
Feb 18th, 2008
02:29:38 PM
Just a day of rest tomorrow?
Oh for fuck sake
by vadakinX
Feb 18th, 2008
02:29:49 PM
DocPazuzu, re-read my posts. I didn't say that yor particular version of patriotism is like wha the Nazi's practiced, just that the general idea of Patriotism in the US, specifically those who demand that you fall into line behind your leader, just because he is the leader, the ones who endorse teaching pledges of allegiance in school, or say if you dont support the war, you're not a patriot...the right wing conservative assholes who get airtime on Fox. That's who I'm talking about.

Dude, seriously, I wasn't trying to attack you...I do have some problems with US policies in various areas, but I have nothing but respect for the country itself.

Freedom of speech
by Merriman Lyon
Feb 18th, 2008
02:30:22 PM
Xiphos, your previous one was better. Don't slip please.

Holy smoke, Kloipy, I had no idea you were so annoyed. Of course - of course I'll stop typing right away.

Not post? Are you mad? I will be right here in the middle of the flame war, dukin' it out with the best of 'em. And you KNOW which side I'll be on. Man, I'll be leadin' the charge.

Merriman Lyon
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Feb 18th, 2008
02:31:20 PM
Those posters are very peculiar and distinct individuals who appear to have been spawned by the same cesspool of hate. If you're not familiar with them, there may yet be hope for you.

Well, as far as INDY4 goes, the proof will be in the pudding. And if the film turns out to be good/worthwhile (and you actually see it), I expect you to return to these here Talkbacks and eat a rather large serving of CRYSTAL CROW.

Pillow
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
02:32:06 PM
Hey man, hope you had a good weekend. Yeah I've come down with the flu, but I'll be getting some rest tomorrow and some meds. Can't afford to take off too much time as I am always busy at work, but I'll see how it goes. I went to work with a wound vac attached to my belly, I can make it through a flu :)
Merriman is a true patriot...leading the charge
by just pillow talk
Feb 18th, 2008
02:32:17 PM
But maybe that means he's a nazi then. Vadakin X, can we have review please? :-)
that sucks dude...
by just pillow talk
Feb 18th, 2008
02:33:53 PM
I'm just getting over my sinus infection and cough. I'm thinking, and all respects to Occula, you watch a few movies from the best of '82 list.
"the general idea of Patriotism in the US"
by DocPazuzu
Feb 18th, 2008
02:33:55 PM
Which once again proves you don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

If you're going to fall into the trap of Godwin's Law, then you're going to have to be prepared to answer for it.

but merriman, no one will care what you have to say
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
02:33:58 PM
as you wont see the movie so your opinion is moot
I'm looking forward to Indy...
by vadakinX
Feb 18th, 2008
02:34:26 PM
I think people have a nostalgic view of Raiders, where they think its something it wasnt...Raiders was full of jokes and one-liners and crazy stunts. Granted, in Crusade, the tone was lighter, but the basic elements of Indy have been the same throughout the three films and it looks like it will be the same for the new one.
Merriman Lyon
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
02:35:02 PM
Will you see this movie if it gets overwelming great reviews?
82 list sounds good too
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
02:35:55 PM
It's been too long since I've watched Creepshow, I need to catch that one again. "Meteor shit!"
it's under section D56, subsection 2.5...
by just pillow talk
Feb 18th, 2008
02:36:27 PM
"Thou shalt increase your drippy whoreness by typing unnecessarily in CAPS and make up your mind about a movie way before anyone else, trailers and actual movie be DAMNED."
Not a Nazi
by vadakinX
Feb 18th, 2008
02:36:40 PM
Not until he tries to exterminate every copy of Indy 4 and tries to invade the Skywalker ranch. :P
what's up DocPazuzu?
by vadakinX
Feb 18th, 2008
02:39:51 PM
Answer for what? Did I call you a Nazi? No. Did I say that american patriotism is the same as in Nazi Germany? No. I said there are similarities...there are also similarities between Bush and Hitler but that's a different story.
fuck Xiphos...
by just pillow talk
Feb 18th, 2008
02:39:55 PM
Now you made me feel guilty and I had to put my vader mask back in the closet.
And let's all thank Xiphos for an image none of us
by chrth
Feb 18th, 2008
02:41:09 PM
wanted to imagine.
Xiphos
by DocPazuzu
Feb 18th, 2008
02:42:13 PM
TOO SOON!
didn't you hear Xiphos?
by just pillow talk
Feb 18th, 2008
02:43:55 PM
Carlos Beltran (let me just watch strike 3 zoom by without getting the fucking bat off my shoulder..yes still fucking bitter 2 years removed) just declared the Mets would win the division this year.

I say it's 50/50 they'll blow it.

Xiphos
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Feb 18th, 2008
02:44:09 PM
The horror...
the horror...
agreed pillows
by occula
Feb 18th, 2008
02:44:56 PM
altho, klo, you can always mix quality - wrath of khan, best little whorehouse in texas - with shite - last american virgin, et al. ok, maybe my examples are a bit skewed. don't forget to watch the blade runner final cut too!
That talentless HACK has his paws all over this
by Knugen
Feb 18th, 2008
02:45:37 PM
FUCK YOU LUCAS! FUCK YOU UNTIL THE DAY YOU DIE! Spielberg, man you better save this shit or you can expect a giant stone ball up your ass, with all those damn poisonous darts glued on it for good measure! I say that with love, mind you!
My opinion is moot?
by Merriman Lyon
Feb 18th, 2008
02:46:06 PM
Well yours, sir, will be a hoot! Because you'll either eat humble pie and admit you were disappointed - and I shall remind you of your words today - and make you eat them! Or you will become a firmly-entrenched apologist-hater. In which case, I shall do battle with you. AND I'll be carrying the American flag - which means you're a traitor (if you're American) or a terrorist (if not).

Fine words, Occula, but I must reveal a simple truth to you. I try to remain polite, but deep down I can't help but have a certain amount of contempt for anyone who is going to pay money to see this movie. I know I shouldn't, but that's how things stand. I believe that as human beings we should THINK for ourselves - and not respond to the carrots dangled in front of us like dumb animals. Fact: Lucas sees all of us as little money machines. He pushes our buttons; we spit out money. Fact: the movie will suck. So don't go.

vadakinx
by DocPazuzu
Feb 18th, 2008
02:47:20 PM
You made a sordid, ill-informed, ignorant, offensive, clumsy and myopic insinuation which you are now trying to slither out of.

The "similarities" you're referring to could be attributed to virtually dozens of countries but you chose to make the off-handed connection between the U.S. and Nazi Germany for a reason.

Bichon Friese
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
02:48:26 PM
that really is quite beautiful hahaha
Occula
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
02:49:10 PM
Those are some good suggestions as well
that's okay Merriman
by just pillow talk
Feb 18th, 2008
02:50:18 PM
Many here have LOADS of contempt for you.

We will go see this movie based upon the preceding three movies (which everyone loved/liked to varying degrees) and to what we have just seen in the trailer. Does that mean it will kick ass? No, but we are hoping that we get another quality Indy adventure.

FACT: Xiphos is correct, you do enjoy reading the shit you spew out. FACT: Your opinion is moot like Kloipy said.

Merriman Lyon
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
02:52:35 PM
Even if I didn't like the movie your opinion isn't valid because you haven't seen the movie. What you are doing is called 'speculation'. You also seem to forget that there is a possiblity that this movie will be good(i know shocking!)but you won't get an answer out of me because I refuse to answer to anyone who uses the phrase 'will be a hoot'
hm, interesting argument
by occula
Feb 18th, 2008
02:53:48 PM
i myself don't necessarily think lucas sees us as money machines. he is, after all, a pioneer in working outside the system, and whether or not we all think ILM is the evil empire, it's still a model of independence from control. and don't forget, lucas doesn't dangle carrots. he traffics in jungian archetypes that are as respected storytelling tools as any others. he may not be the best writer or filmmaker out there but 'pushing buttons' isn't really the right phrase to use; it's more that he taps into deep-seeded responses to the effects these kinds of stories and characters have on us.
Xiphos - I think the D-backs need 2 more bats
by just pillow talk
Feb 18th, 2008
02:54:30 PM
And though the Mets have big question marks in a couple of outfield positions, on paper, their starting pitching would be stronger. If senior cockfighter is back to being Pedro of 3 years ago, him and Santana are best two in league. Perez and Maine are solid starters who have won big games and won 15 games apiece.

You guys want Delgado? We'll just want some beer, doesn't even have to be cold.

Nope
by Merriman Lyon
Feb 18th, 2008
02:56:15 PM
Xiphos - better. The dog was a nice touch

JLo - Not a chance, not a CHANCE this will turn out good. Look at the odds. And that trailer - God I actually think this might be even WORSE than I could imagine! And I can imagine it being PRETTY BAD!

Having said that, I caught Rocky Balboa on TV lately and was astonished to find that it was actually pretty good! So just between you and me (don't tell the others) if EVERYONE was shouting that it was GREAT - and I do mean GREAT - I'm talking as good as Raiders Of The Lost Ark - then I would go and see it and crawl back here to eat humble pie. If course I can say this because I'm so absolutely 100% CERTAIN that the movie will be a turkey. I mean, did you see that trailer?

Occula-bringing a fresh and intelligent voice to the TB
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
02:57:48 PM
Kloipy-bringing a lame dick joke into the TB by saying Lucas is Jung like a horse
You know how to fly don't you?
by kwisatzhaderach
Feb 18th, 2008
03:01:28 PM
No...do you? How hard it can be?
HAHAHAHA
by occula
Feb 18th, 2008
03:01:29 PM
klo, even through the haze of the bubonic plague, you know how to compliment a lady AND spin a witty bon mot. well done, sir.
Perhaps the problem some have with the trailer...
by rbatty024
Feb 18th, 2008
03:02:48 PM
(and by some I mean those who reasonably dislike the trailer rather than a film they have yet to see), is because it doesn't give us a linear storyline. This didn't bother me since I'm trying to avoid major spoilers as much as possible (a futile task I know) and because I hate it when a trailer shows the entire film. That being said, the best parts of the trailer are when Indy says "Not as easy as it used to be" and his sly "Part time" response. I, for one, am excited.
IndyAbbey
by Embeedeuce
Feb 18th, 2008
03:02:53 PM
Checked out that link. Kinda cool. The old toys and the new KOTCS ones. Thanks.
Mets will win the division by 10, sweep to the Series
by chrth
Feb 18th, 2008
03:03:48 PM
And then lose to the Angels in 6. I have foreseen it.

Stupid Mets.

Basically
by kwisatzhaderach
Feb 18th, 2008
03:04:59 PM
To say the new film will be shit based on about 45 seconds of footage is madness.
Basically
by kwisatzhaderach
Feb 18th, 2008
03:04:59 PM
To say the new film will be shit based on about 45 seconds of footage is madness.
Pavlov's dog
by Merriman Lyon
Feb 18th, 2008
03:05:25 PM
Xiphos - nah, ya lost it, man.

Pillow talk, you illustrate my point nicely. Jeez, forget about the FACTS, blank out the Star Wars PREQUELS, ignore the CRYSTAL SKULLS, but leap up like a little doggy for a mediocre trailer in the hope of capturing some magic that got lost thirty years ago. Please...

Jeez, Occula - I'm not referring to Lucas' "storytelling' (HA!) at all. The trailer is the button-push for these people (see Pillow Talk)

Posting twice
by kwisatzhaderach
Feb 18th, 2008
03:05:32 PM
is madness too.
I'm rooting for the Argyle Sox
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
03:06:23 PM
they are so underrated
back out?
by vadakinX
Feb 18th, 2008
03:07:55 PM
If I wanted to attack the US, there are many more straightforward topics I could have chosen. And you're right, there are many countries that the general view could apply to (though not many that are "democratic and free"). But you've overreacted from the beginning. You saw the word nazi and jumped down my throat, and I haven't backed out of anything. I said in the beginning there were similarities, and I still say it now, but I never said that the US is Nazi germany. You need to calm down.
Merriman
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
03:08:11 PM
just because you didn't find enjoyment in the trailer(or perhaps anything for that matter) doesn't mean that other people can't geniunly like it
Xiphos: I've always been psychotic
by chrth
Feb 18th, 2008
03:09:51 PM
Gibson
by maverick2484
Feb 18th, 2008
03:10:08 PM
Would I promote him as the scrappy Indy that audiences know and love? Well, yeah. I hear what you're saying, but I guess my point is that, from a marketing perspective, I would want to assure audiences that they're getting a new Indy films that's in the exact same spirit as the preceding films that they love. Most of the trailer does exactly that, it's only that heavy-handed intro section that drops the ball. I dig the trailer and I appreciate the fact that they're building this up as a major event rather than just enough blockbuster, but I would've loved to have seen an intro thats a bit more true to what Indy is about. These are nitpicks, of course.
No wait, I meant Psychic!
by chrth
Feb 18th, 2008
03:10:10 PM
And by the way...
by Merriman Lyon
Feb 18th, 2008
03:11:06 PM
What the hell is that American flag doing in the trailer? Makes no sense...
Flag
by skimn
Feb 18th, 2008
03:18:04 PM
As someone stated earlier, the flag is an establishing shot. The warehouse footage indicates that some of the movie takes place in the good 'ol Us of A.
or
by skimn
Feb 18th, 2008
03:18:56 PM
US of A....
Lucas debate
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
03:19:26 PM
This really is amazing. I believe the old guy might still have some mojo left. But you can not ingnore the growing phenomenon of Lucas bashing. Its not just here. I honestly only have a few friends that like the PT. Most people I know do not like them at all. The ones that do like it don't love them either. Of course people go cause it's Star Wars but I dont' think that will last much longer.
Merriman Lyon
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
03:23:13 PM
I think the flag is there to show that he's at a U.S. base
Mr Jlo...
by Merriman Lyon
Feb 18th, 2008
03:25:44 PM
Can I exempt you from the 'contempt' remark I made earlier in reference to people who are giving money to Lucas?

You're right about the Lucas backash - I think that after this movie is released, he should seriously think about watching his back. Like many have been saying, there's only so much of this shit people can take. I think he's in danger of coming to a nasty end.

not possible
by occula
Feb 18th, 2008
03:28:23 PM
obviously you've never been to - or seen - skywalker ranch. it is a fortress. lucas could disappear into it and never be seen nor heard from again, like j.d. salinger or thomas pynchon.
Lucas in the Rye
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
03:30:27 PM
he's always missing that brass ring
oh em gee
by occula
Feb 18th, 2008
03:33:52 PM
klo, have you taken some kind of herbal remedy that is blowing your mind wide open? coz you are the prince of the zingers this afternoon.
Flag waving
by Merriman Lyon
Feb 18th, 2008
03:35:55 PM
Xiphos - yeah, it's good, but I'm afraid you'll let me down again, or get bored and stop.

Mr. Jlo, if that's the only reason, I'd be very surprised. A flag isn't just a Geograpical marker. Any film-maker knows it's a powerful symbol - especially when it's shown full-frame like that. Ordinarily, Spielberg knows exactly what he's doing and expertly chooses each shot (unless, as I believe in this case, he just doesn't care). And if it's so important to indicate WHERE in the world this base is, why has it been taken out of the European trailer. I mean, the trailer definitely doesn't NEED the flag - it can survive perfectly well without it. No, my feeling is that it is there to push the patriot button and lure Americans into the theatres. And the reason they've done this is because they've got NOTHING ELSE to offer in the movie itself and need to pull the wool over the eyes of the domestic audience.

people who hate the prequels...
by vadakinX
Feb 18th, 2008
03:37:14 PM
I always find it interesting when people say that most people they know hated the prequels...what does this tell us? That the internet community is just a fraction of the audience. the prequels made tons of money at the cinema and on dvd...so lots of people must have liked it.

The internet community tends to be very vocal about their hatred, while the millions who liked it, are content to just watch them.

i don't know...
by occula
Feb 18th, 2008
03:37:20 PM
perhaps for a trained op like you, xi...but for the unwashed bitter masses...a friend of mine from school works at ilm. she told me a funny story of some rabid fanboy during the PM days who managed to get to the gate of the ranch wearing his homemade jedi outfit. the kid waved his hand jedi-style at the camera and yelled 'you WILL let me in' and within seconds an armed guard appeared, grabbed him and threw him into a vehicle. somebody brought the footage to ilm coz it was so funny. i'm sure there are countless other examples like that, i just like that one coz of the production value. ;)
occula
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
03:37:50 PM
I think it's the fever in my head. But seriously for some really funny shit go check out what pillow, Jarv, abom, and me did in the "Oh My God! It's James Bond!" TB, there is some classic stuff in there
http://www.aintitcool.com/node /35561
Hey, enough knocking Tyler's Children of Dune music
by Drath
Feb 18th, 2008
03:40:04 PM
It's a great score, calling it "elevator music" is just tasteless folly. The map room theme would have been an off choice for the beginning of this trailer in my opinion because it's the Ark of the Covenant's theme, a little recognizably so, and more importantly it is a little more forboding than what I think they were going for with this intro. Probably the Grail Diary theme from Last Crusade would have been more in step with it--but once again it is a recognizable theme and I get that they were trying to avoid muis that was too recognizable (not saying I agree with that approach at all though). But please, stop praising one great artist by attacking a new but still worthy one.
well I'm going home to pass out
by Kloipy
Feb 18th, 2008
03:48:36 PM
thanks again for all the kind thoughts and cure tips. I'll see you all soon
Merriman Lyon
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
03:49:41 PM
I respect your position on this. And I think it's important that someone represent the other side. This might be the point where Lucas really looses the masses.
vadakinX
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
03:56:21 PM
I'm one that really really likes ROTS, almost love it. I know it's not saying much but none of my friends like it and it is very rare for me to meet someone that likes it. Thats' why I'm here. When you get down to it you're right it does not mean much it just makes me think about it. And I think a lot of people went to the Star Wars movies cause it was Star Wars.
Dear U.S.A., When did you become so lame??
by TallScott
Feb 18th, 2008
03:57:49 PM
Ya know I hear alot of snotty remarks about the 70's. But oh yeah thats when Jaws, Star Wars, the Godfather movies and more came out. And PLUS WE WERE NOT AS SISSFYED TO ERASE GUNS OUT OF A TRAILER!!! Its not the libs and the cons that are killing america its those PC outrage mongers who want everything safe on both sides. Gahhh! Wake me up when we become cool agian. Ill take the 70's over the lame ass new centry anyday of the week.
Merriman Lyon
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
04:04:25 PM
By the way I hear you on the flag. I'm just guessing at this point. The trailer looks a little strange but we've all ready been though that.
Worried about David Koepp?
by kevinwillis.net
Feb 18th, 2008
04:06:58 PM
Not really. War of the Worlds was a little "meh" to me, script wise. But I enjoyed the writing of Spiderman, I really did like Zathura (I realize that apparently nobody else did). I enoyed Stir of Echoes, I liked Mission: Impossible all right. Carlito's Way? Was that that bad? I liked Death Becomes Her. The first Jurassic Park. Didn't care much for Toy Soldiers.

Even most of the stuff I don't care for was "pure shit". I don't think that's the biggest issue.
The Secret
by ArcadianDS
Feb 18th, 2008
04:30:13 PM
Is it wrong to use The Secret to make the Indy 4 movie so great, that it makes Merriman look like a total douche?

I've already purchased a 'Merriman looks like a total douche" t-shirt form cafepress, so this will make it become real.

Dr. Uwe Boll's FARCRY trailer online
by Vesuvio
Feb 18th, 2008
04:30:14 PM
http://tinyurl.com/2oh286
Saw the trailer online, but then caught it full
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Feb 18th, 2008
04:36:50 PM
size last night when I saw Jumper. I don't know the other reviewers were talking about. This was a fun popcorn flick, neither main jumper character was a "cast iron douchebag," and it had some great fight scenes. It's no monument to filmaking, but it was escapist fun. Isn't that what movies are supposed to be about?
Jumper is good?
by Mr. JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
04:46:10 PM
I haven't seen it yet, how is the acting in it? Or how is Anakin's acting? better or worse than his other performances?
About the Trailer Being "Meh"
by kevinwillis.net
Feb 18th, 2008
05:10:44 PM
I Should Finish The Comment Before I Hit Enter
by kevinwillis.net
Feb 18th, 2008
05:12:40 PM
The trailer does seem a little "meh", a little amateurish, but the pacing problems are with the trailer, not the footage. Nothing about the footage concerns me, at all. The trailer just wasn't "all that". Big deal. Happens all the time.
JLo I've only seen HC in the prequels and
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Feb 18th, 2008
05:18:53 PM
Life as a House. Let's just say he's his ususal brooding self. I liked him better in house. Thing is this character has a right to be brooding so I guess it's a good fit. I really liked Bell, and the only thing I've seen him in is Billy Elliot. As he was a kid then I really can't compare the two. SLJ redeems himself from Snakes, but again he's his usual bad mo fo don't mess with me self. That's a good thing although someone will always say he phones in those roles. A couple of plot holes, but nothing that won't be overlooked except by nitpickers. I would have liked more details on the history of jumpers, and Sam the Man's agency. Let's just say the door is open for a sequel, and maybe we'll learn more then. Again, this was just a fun popcorn flick, nothing more, nothing less. I'm curious to read the book now to see the differences whether big or little.
Compared to the Cloverfield mess this trailer
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 18th, 2008
05:23:28 PM
was genius. No shitty websites to look for.
Only if Short Round transforms
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Feb 18th, 2008
05:26:04 PM
then it's okay.
Grammaton Cleric Binks
by JLo III
Feb 18th, 2008
05:46:04 PM
Cool man, sounds like it's good for a fun night out then. I was just curious about HC cause I have not seen him in anything other than Star Wars and he gets such a bad rap for that role. My theroy is that it's not completly his fault. Anyway thanks
Merriman- you are contradicting yourself
by Laserbrain
Feb 18th, 2008
06:13:38 PM
So Rocky Balboa beat the odds to become a good movie but this film will unreservedly be a Phantom Menace style catastrophe? You could have just as convincingly argued using cherry-picked "facts" (opinions) that Stallone peaked 30 years ago, that he was too old, that the last film(s) in the series was/were unredeemable tripe and so forth and so on. You acknowledge that, yes, miracles can happen. Sequels to old franchises can, if not top or equal their forebears, at least hit the mark and provide entertainment to their fanbase and a mainstream audience. They can provide fun and reconnect loyal followers to the character they loved and all without sullying the good name of series (franchise, cash cow, whatever). _____________You and others think this trailer is terrible - not iconic enough, too jokey, too modern, too slow, badly cut, poorly cast, poorly scored, jingoistic, isn't this, isn't that. Some of us disagree. We believe that Skull, like Rocky Balboa, has actually got a shot. We are not all, in your words, "brainless" "fanboys" and "sheep" who salivate at any moldy, scavenged vegetable Lucas dangles in our face. We're not cultists or Kool-Aid swillers and we won't cry ourselves to sleep for a year in our four-sizes-too-small Darth Maul Jim Jams if the movie's a big fat turd. We are well-adjusted, optimistic adults who enjoy a healthy, relationship with our geek sides. Do you get it yet? Can I squeeze a drop of an acknowledgment from you that we aren't *all* idiots? __________We don't hate you because of your opinion, Merriman. I disagree with Moriarty but I don't hate him, I disagree with the Prequel fans but I don't hate them. No, I hate *YOU* because you talk to all of your dissenters like children and won't acknowledge the worth of any opinion that opposes your own. ________ Anyway, you keep on posting, Sunshine. Your posts are morbid fun to read - like watching some guy seating himself in a public plaza, tipping what looks like gasoline over himself and asking passersby for a match.
Merriman - plotting an assassination -
by Laserbrain
Feb 18th, 2008
06:24:36 PM
- now are you? Lucas better "watch his back", he may come to "as nasty end'? Oh, Jesus. You're losing it. Do me a favour - try and get Lucas away from any innocent bystanders before you make the shot. And don't forget to send your presskit in to all the networks like that Cho Seung-hui guy. Thou dost protest WAY too much now, Merriman. Was that the lit match I just mentioned? Has the gasoline caught?
laserbrain
by JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
06:37:22 PM
I think he means that his big box office days could be coming to an end. At least thats the way I took it.
No shot that wowed you...
by Logan_1973
Feb 18th, 2008
06:55:25 PM
...Not even Indy swinging on his whip...something we haven't seen in 20 years? Lighten up, bro.
what did Lucas say?
by strosmer
Feb 18th, 2008
06:55:31 PM
Indy 4 is going to be like Phantom Menace. Can't remember what the source was for this, but he said something to that effect somewhere. I don't know what he means by the statement. Anyone care to speculate? Undoubtedly, whatever he meant by it, this is good news for some, and horrible news for others. And of course, there's always the rest of the lot who either some shade of grey, or entirely indifferent. I'm really just interested to know the source of Lucas's statement and whether anyone has some insight to it.
JLo - Bro... here's the quote -
by Laserbrain
Feb 18th, 2008
06:56:19 PM
"You're right about the Lucas backash - I think that after this movie is released, he should seriously think about watching his back. Like many have been saying, there's only so much of this shit people can take. I think he's in danger of coming to a nasty end."_______ You seem nice enough, JLo, so here's some advice. If I were you, I would back away slowly from Merriman, tell him you're popping out to get a soda (don't forget to offer him one or his suspicion will become aroused) then once you're out the door run like hell. Good Luck and Godspeed, buddy.
strosmer
by JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
07:00:29 PM
I think it was vanity fair.
Jeezus assholes. Don't like the movie don't see it
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 18th, 2008
07:05:49 PM
But this site's whiny fanboy shit is getting old.
laserbrain
by JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
07:08:07 PM
yeah, he seems a little extreme, but I don't think he's a real threat. I kind of understand where he's coming from.

anyway its not like he could get my ip addres,.could he?

I'll be there 12:01 showing.
by JLo
Feb 18th, 2008
07:17:43 PM
south Austin. I'm looking forward to it, but a little concerned.
Laserbrain, you're a clone all right...
by Merriman Lyon
Feb 18th, 2008
07:20:16 PM
Who are the "we" you keep talking about? Are you a designated spokesperson? Or are you unable to state an opinion by yourself? Do you usually assume you speak for all fanboys? Or is it just that you feel a need to belong? You see, you assert your "independence" whilst simultaneously clinging to your idenity as a fanboy: "We believe," "we're well adjusted" (HA!), "We're not cultists,"(I LOVE that one - keep 'em coming!). Man, you sound like a scientologist. Close enough - you're a Lucas apologist - a Lucasologist (first ever usage of this term, I think! You are the first person to be designated as such - congratulations!). And here's something that will hurt you: I cannot be converted. I will NOT be handing any money to Lucas and will NOT be seeing this movie. Join me, Laserbrain, before it's too late. This is your chance to be free.
And yet you are on this talkback wasting time
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 18th, 2008
07:21:43 PM
Nice going.
Jlo...
by Merriman Lyon
Feb 18th, 2008
07:25:30 PM
You are perfectly able to make up your own mind.
Skywalker...
by Merriman Lyon
Feb 18th, 2008
07:28:47 PM
If a single person reads my posts and decides as a result that they won't see the movie, then my time here will not have been wasted. As I've said before, why bother seeing it when the film-makers couldn't even be bothered to put together a reasonable trailer?
JLo
by Laserbrain
Feb 18th, 2008
07:38:09 PM
Maybe you should distance yourself from the extremists then, mate. I'm on your side when you say the talkbacks would be boring if everyone thought the same but that's what Merriman wants for *this* talkback - to convince everyone to think just like him. Anyone who disagrees is automatically wrong and living in the fucking Matrix or something, all brainless automatons serving a greedy master. In one respect, he is correct - this film may be awful but as I (and unwittingly he) have argued using the example of Rocky Balboa, sometimes these old bastards can surprise us. That's not as unreasonable an opinion as Merriman seems to think it is, wouldn't you say? I can respect that you agree with his sentiments but you needn't agree with his sour and insulting tactics.
Lucas didn't even direct the movie!
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 18th, 2008
07:50:31 PM
Sure, he came up with a few story ideas, but he was just on the set walking around and talking to Harrison. That's about it.
So how many JLos are out there?
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Feb 18th, 2008
07:58:18 PM
Anyway to the JLo who wants to catch Jumper you can make up your own mind, but like you said it ought to be a fun night out. Now, since I haven't seen your name around here too much I have one word for you. Are you ready? The word is ----Equilibrium. This is a must see. Just trust me.
I bet Merrimam saw Grindhouse 24 times and thinks
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 18th, 2008
08:02:26 PM
that's high art.
"Sour and insulting tactics"
by Merriman Lyon
Feb 18th, 2008
08:04:45 PM
Must've learnt it from you, Laserbrain. Maybe I am becoming a Lucasologist. Now let's see - let me see if I can express an independent opinion...

All the indications on this movie, even from the mouth of Lucas himself, are that, are that...it WILL ROCK! Oh give the guy a chance - the movie might turn out okay....

Aaaaaaagh! It's happened - you've got to me, Laserbrain. I've been turned. I'm one of you now!

skywalkerfamily, so Lucas didn't have much to do with the movie? Well, how about him being the reason production was blocked for years because he was so taken by the idea of the midichlorians - I mean, the crystal skulls. Do I really have to re-tell the production history of this movie.....again? It's exhausting. Perhaps you guys are right to give in. All right then: Hail Lucas!

Laserbrain
by JLo III
Feb 18th, 2008
08:07:24 PM
I'm going to see this movie for sure. I think between Speilberg and Harrison they can pull it together. And I'll have to admit that Lucas did restore a little bit of faith for me in ROTS. I understand I might be wrong, I'm not overwelmed by the teaser but it is just a teaser

That being said I can relate to Merriman's point of view on this too. I understand the concept of taking my buisness else where. That's how I am with other aspects of my life. Thats the way I deal with buisness in my life. If I'm unhappy with the qualitly or the service I no longer spend my money with that buisness. Maybe he's a little harsh but he's passionate about it I understand that.

There is just one JLo
by JLo III
Feb 18th, 2008
08:11:11 PM
I have it set up on my Ipod as JLo and my home computer as JLo III. Then I set up Mr.JLo the other day cause everyone thought I was a women. I don't know how it got so confussing sorry about that.
Lucas came up with the Indiana Jones idea
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 18th, 2008
08:12:18 PM
He gave it to Spielberg when Spielberg said he wanted to direct a Bond movie. You post on a talkback.
skywalkerfamily
by JLo III
Feb 18th, 2008
08:17:02 PM
I don't think Speilberg takes any shit from Lucas, thats just the impression I get from interviews. Speilberg knows how to get emotion from actors he knows how to get the action shots. Maybe he's not in his prime but I would really be suprised if he droped the ball on this one.
JLO SHOW US YOUR TITTIES!!!
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 18th, 2008
08:18:13 PM
I am Sir Charge.
Spielberg knows how to direct a movie.
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 18th, 2008
08:20:54 PM
He has more accolades and great movies in his resume. Lucas forgot how to direct a movie, but he does have THX 1138, American Graffiti, Star Wars, and ROTS that are great on his resume.
Trust me on this..
by JLo III
Feb 18th, 2008
08:21:50 PM
You do not want to see my titties. Not worth the price of admission.
ROTS? GREAT?
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 18th, 2008
08:24:38 PM
Okay, never mind the Darth Vader screaming "No" ... he had Obi Wan letting Anakin die slowly in agony instead of mercy killing him? Not to mention that letting him live created Darth Vader and caused he untold deaths of hundreds of millions of aliens at his hands. Lucas basically choked Star Wars to death with a fucking brain fart called the Prequel Trilogy.
Skywalker...
by Merriman Lyon
Feb 18th, 2008
08:25:47 PM
So, you're saying...? Oh I get it - Lucas knows more about making a good movie than I do? Wrong. I could write a better story for this Indy movie than he could. Sounds arrogant? Not so. Because I believe YOU could also write a better Indy movie than Lucas - as could Jlo, Laserbrain and 95% of the people on this talkback. But Lucas is in charge so we get the crystal skulls
I DEMAND TO SEE YOUR TITTIES!!!!
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 18th, 2008
08:26:04 PM
I am Sir Charge!!
I WOULD'VE WRITTEN A BETTER MOVIE
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 18th, 2008
08:30:10 PM
I'd have Short Round back, kicking some wire-fu ass. And Karen Allen and Kate Capshaw together fighting over Indy. And it would involve a NeoNazi cult seeking a South America talisman that would give them the power to take over the US guvmint.
BringingSexyBack
by JLo III
Feb 18th, 2008
08:30:28 PM
Are you trying to get that extra $5 the goverment has added to all strip clubs?
Rots was great. It's the highest rated SW prequel
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 18th, 2008
08:33:36 PM
and it was terrific. Of course, you people think Hostel is great. More power to you.
PEEKABOO!! SIR CHARGE!!!
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 18th, 2008
08:34:35 PM
Ahhhhh ... Your Money!!!!
THE BEST PART OF ROTS WAS WHEN OBI WAN SAID
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 18th, 2008
08:37:11 PM
"He killed younglings." Usually murdered children is a sad thing but that line had me cracking up.
It didn't matter if Anakin lived oir died
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 18th, 2008
08:37:45 PM
Palpatine would still be in power, and Obi Wan had Luke and Leia to fall back on.
ACTUALLY THERE WAS A FINE SCENE IN ROTS
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 18th, 2008
08:39:16 PM
in the opera where the Emperor was talking to Anakin. Some of those lines were written by someone else (not Lucas) and you could TELL they were written by someone whose head wasn't up his own ass.
XIPHOS!! PEEKABOO!!!!
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 18th, 2008
08:40:34 PM
Sir Charge is a character in the Time Warner Cable commercials. Ahh ... your money!!!
I REMEMBER THAT FINE SCENE IN GRINDHOUSE!
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 18th, 2008
08:41:26 PM
The closing credits.
XIPHOS - HERE'S A LOOK AT SIR CHARGE
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 18th, 2008
08:42:31 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =q-pzBloyvAk

http://youtube.com/watch?v=VDv XaUH6NNo&feature=related

WHAT'S WITH GRINDHOUSE AND HOSTEL?
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 18th, 2008
08:43:37 PM
I didn't see either movie. WTF
IF ANAKIN HAD DIED THE EMPEROR WOULD NOT HAVE HAD
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 18th, 2008
08:46:26 PM
an apprentice because there are always two. And he would not have been able to control the Empire without Vader as his lapdog. Remember that Vader is stronger than Palpatine. Why am I even arguing this? Lucas fucked up, period.
ROTS
by dudemandude
Feb 18th, 2008
08:47:08 PM
ok I'm gonna just go over this once. The Jedi deserved their destruction. If they had a collective intelligence between them Windu would've waited until Yoda got back (by calling him up an sayin get your ass back to Courascant) and then gone at Palpatine full strength. Not plausible? Ok fine. When Yoda and Obi Wan are in the destroyed Jedi temple they should've gone at Palpatine together. Yoda and Obi Wan together could've taken him. Vader could've waited. Instead they divided their forces and lost.
Palpatine could get another apprentice.
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 18th, 2008
08:47:38 PM
In fact Vader wanted Luke as his apprentice in ESB.
OH YEAH, IT WAS REALLY BRILLIANT OF OBI WAN AND YODA
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 18th, 2008
08:48:50 PM
to "hide" Luke among ... his relatives. Like the Emperor couldn't figure that out. Yikes. What a mess. Better that the PT was never made at all.
I ALSO LOVED HOW MACE WINDU WALKED UP TO DOOKU AND JANGO
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 18th, 2008
08:51:15 PM
and announced himself like some retard instead of killing them both Ninja style. The Jedi are the Keystone Kops of that galaxy.
The Emperor didn't know about the twins.
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 18th, 2008
08:51:19 PM
And Vader thought Padme was dead and so were the kids, so no need to look for them.
Lukes "relatives"
by dudemandude
Feb 18th, 2008
08:52:26 PM
I disagree there BSB. The Emperor isn't omnipotent. The relation between Luke and Owen/Beru is very slight, not even by blood. I highly doubt the Emperor would've made this connection at all. Vader would never return to Tatooine because of the pain he associates with the planet and his past.
Merriman ...
by Laserbrain
Feb 18th, 2008
08:53:32 PM
"We" refers to the people on this and the previous Indy trailer board who have optimistic expectations of this film. Expectations unclouded by too many fannish preconceptions, nitpicks and irrational hatred for George Lucas. They're around, take a look, trust me. They're the ones saying "It's just a teaser, can't you give it a chance?". Now you said you were astonished to discover that Rocky Balboa was good. I dunno, Jack, maybe this one will be astonishingly good as well. But you won't consider it - you can't Agree To Disagree with anyone. You are hell-bent on converting everyone to your opinion and deriding the dissenters as, I'll say it once more, sheep, no-brained, fanboys with no free will of their own. Shit, man, sorry to take it personally. I guess I overreacted. _______ Oh, and by the by, I am in no way a Lucas apologist or acolyte, the prequels blew goats, there's something you and I can agree on. *Eeuchh* I've got something in common with you, Merriman. I may not sleep tonight.
PALPATINE KNEW ABOUT LUKE AND HIS UNCLE AND AUNT
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 18th, 2008
08:58:54 PM
In ROTJ, Palpatine instructs Vader to find Luke to turn him to the Dark Side (where Vader replies "but he is just a boy"). And Palpatine knew about Anakin's family because he knew about Anakin slaughtering the Sand People who killed his mother. And Obi Wan hiding out in plain sight as Ben KENOBI is just plain stupid. All of this would have been a non-issue if the Prequels were never made, but the mistakes were not only highlighted by the PT, but compounded with new ones. Unreal.
Jedi tactics
by dudemandude
Feb 18th, 2008
09:00:59 PM
I just cannot fathom Yoda's stupidity and lack in battle tactics in his decision to send Obi Wan after Vader while he attempted to defeat the Emperor. Arrogance perhaps. The Jedi had shown in the previous 2 prequels no apprehension what-so-ever at ganging up on opponents. Why Yoda broke with this tried and true technique mystifies me. Together, Yoda and Obi Wan could've defeated Palpatine then either brought Vader back to the Light Side or easily handed him his ass. This most unfortunate decision, even one Windu didn't make by bringing his 3 Jedi Masters (worthless as they were and he should've waited for Yoda and Obi Wan too), cost countless millions of lives and Jedi. Yoda deserved his swamp world.
BSB
by dudemandude
Feb 18th, 2008
09:04:58 PM
I stand corrected. You are correct about Sidious knowing information about Anakins family, because Palpatine served as Anakins confident for many years. Sidious used this information in his conversion of Anakin to the Dark Side. It would then stand to reason he may know of Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru's existence. But, it does not stand to reason that he would have known Anakins children had survived. By the time of ESB when Vader informs Sidious of Luke (unawares of Leia mind you) Sidious is clearly doubtful and unaware of Lukes existence. So I agree with you and yet still disagree. lol. =)
Fair enough, Laserbrain...
by Merriman Lyon
Feb 18th, 2008
09:07:11 PM
I've said just about all I want to say about this, 'cause I'm just repeating myself anyway. See ya back here after the movie's release.
OKAY YOU HAVE A POINT THERE, MY MIND HAS BLOCKED OUT
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 18th, 2008
09:08:23 PM
a lot of Star Wars because it's so traumatic. Also, purple light saber is not canon.
Wow, this talk-back has become geekalicious!
by SkinJob69
Feb 18th, 2008
09:08:53 PM
And I love it!

Agree that ROTS was a worthy additon to the SW series (TPM and AOTC, not so much). In fact, it redeemed the prequel trilogy, IMO. I realize ROTS is not without flaws, though:

Showing on screen what was in Anakin's mind during his "nightmare" was a break from established form for the series- it is a visual, non-linear flash-forward and had no precedent in any of the other films.

Clunky dialogue, and some poor direction (e.g. Obi Wan: "Did I miss SOMETHING?!" should have been phrased, "Did I MISS something."

And I really could have done without the "NOOOOOoooooo....." bit, of course.

But I can overlook all of that.

Jar Jar's screen time

ROTS
by JLo III
Feb 18th, 2008
09:09:32 PM
You can point out all of the holes or whatever, I still like that one. It's a guilty pleasure I'll admit but I honestly still like that one.
Jar Jar's screen time
by SkinJob69
Feb 18th, 2008
09:10:36 PM
That alone puts it higher on the list (Lucas listened to the fans).

All things considered ROTS rocked pretty hard, IMHO-

Ben Kenobi in plain sight?
by dudemandude
Feb 18th, 2008
09:11:05 PM
I disagree with this assertion as well. Old Ben lived at the edge of The Dune Sea, a hermit, a crazy old man. I find this meager and odd existence hardly to fit the mold of "out in plain sight." Let's not forget Tatooine isn't even part of The Empire, it's a planet in the outer system ruled by The Hutts. The Empire's presence on Tatooine was miniscule and hardly authoritative. I think Old Ben was pretty safe living out in the middle of a deserted desert on an almost deserted planet in an almost deserted area of space ruled by gangsters.
SkinJob69
by JLo III
Feb 18th, 2008
09:12:58 PM
I think that nightmare scene was put into Anakins mind by Palpatine to help set his plan in motion.
WELL I MEANT HE SHOULD HAVE CHANGED HIS NAME FROM KENOBI
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 18th, 2008
09:15:26 PM
Palpatine could have just Googled Kenobi and found him on Tatooine. Also I thought the first 10 seconds of ROTS was going to be a start to redemption, but alas, no. I can understand how it can be forgiven for actually being better than TPM and AOTC, but still it was a real messy affair.
dudemandude
by JLo III
Feb 18th, 2008
09:15:52 PM
I think you're right about Old Ben living in the Dune Sea. That was a fair hiding spot. But boy did he sure age out there in the desert.
Maybe so, JLo...
by SkinJob69
Feb 18th, 2008
09:16:49 PM
but it was a deviation from the established storytelling "rules" for the series. The other movies are all temporally linear that segment was a visual representation of another time/place. A minor beef, yes, but I was suprised to see the break in form.
BringingSexyBack
by JLo III
Feb 18th, 2008
09:18:38 PM
If you look in the Star Wars Almanac it is clearly stated that Google was not created until well after ROTJ. By the Whills no less.
SPEAKING OF ROTS, I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 18th, 2008
09:19:06 PM
where Eric Roberts and Natalie Portman were hunting me down to get me to join their cult. True story.
Speaking of SW plot holes...
by SkinJob69
Feb 18th, 2008
09:19:34 PM
Why the fuck, if Leia was so sure that the Milennium Falcon was being tracked, did she simply give up her argument and let Han take the ship to Yavin IV. Colossal tactical error that unnecessarily put the rebellion at risk.

I can see where Lucas wanted to draw things to a BIG CONFRONTATION for the finale of ANH, but come on.

JLo
by dudemandude
Feb 18th, 2008
09:21:17 PM
By age do you mean age into a better actor? lol =) I think Ewan did a stellar job, the best in the prequels besides Palpatine and Dooku. =)
Okay, Merriman. See you then.
by Laserbrain
Feb 18th, 2008
09:23:12 PM
When we finally have some FACTS about the content of film to pore over.
SkinJob69
by JLo III
Feb 18th, 2008
09:24:09 PM
I hear what you're saying about the "rules" It did feel odd to me too, but I'm guessing that was important enough to make sure we knew that Palpatine was in control of Anakin. Also on another note I read in an interview that Lucas did not show the light speed effect until ANH so kid seeing it for the first time would still have a wow factor after all ready watching 3 of the films.
You're right JLo-
by SkinJob69
Feb 18th, 2008
09:27:23 PM
Hadn't realized that the "star drag" effect wasn't in the prequels. That's why I love AICN; always learning from other fans-
dudemandude
by JLo III
Feb 18th, 2008
09:28:06 PM
No I just mean that it's hard to believe that Obi Wan aged that much between Episode 3 and 4. I'm just saying he looks a lot older than just 20 years. I like Ewan. Does that make sense?
Star Wars
by dudemandude
Feb 18th, 2008
09:29:06 PM
I'm 34 years old about to turn 35. I grew up on Star Wars as many of you did. Movies of that era are my favorites and what I consider classics, such as Alien, Jaws, Blade Runner, Godfather, Scarface, Indiana Jones, Big Trouble In Little China and tons more. I know that people's tastes differ of course but that's what I like.

The prequels I am not so fond of. I love the idea but the execution was not done well. To be honest I find TPM almost unwatchable. In fact, when I do watch it, it's with Rifftrax =) AOTC is good. I watch it from time to time. ROTS is great, with flaws still keeping it from being classic. The heart just wasn't in the prequels and I fear that with Indiana Jones. There was some sort of magic with the cast and crew back then on these films that just cannot be reproduced it seems, at least with Star Wars.

I'm hoping Indiana Jones will still have that magic, classic feel to it. Personally, I think it will.
JLo
by dudemandude
Feb 18th, 2008
09:32:24 PM
Oh yes you make perfect sense! The age difference was quite dramatic now that I think on it. I am from Arizona and look quite young for my age so I'm not sure it's the desert that would cause that.. hmmm lol. A small thing like this I just let slide I say =)
dudemandude
by JLo III
Feb 18th, 2008
09:32:34 PM
Yeah, I agree with your last post that pretty much hits the nail on the head for me.
dudemandude
by JLo III
Feb 18th, 2008
09:35:16 PM
Yeah it's just one of those things maybe his use of the force for a prolong period by himself in the desert made him old before his time.
HEY, GOOD POINT ABOUT THE AGING THING ...
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 18th, 2008
09:41:13 PM
Damn Lucas.
JLo Obi Wan Force Usage
by dudemandude
Feb 18th, 2008
09:43:08 PM
That is a plausible scenario and it got me thinking a bit. It may also be possible loneliness, sadness and such may have played a role. I think about stress and it's effects on US Presidents. They age remarkably fast in office! Hard tellin' in the end. Indiana Jones fared quite well though, perhaps Obi Wan should've paid a bit more heed to Han Solo's advice throughout ANH. =) Oh wait, by then he was already old! I can't be this tired this early!? haha
BringingSexyBack
by JLo III
Feb 18th, 2008
09:45:44 PM
You know there was probably a lot of lonely nights out there in the desert. From what Lucas has said in numerous interviews is that Obi Wan was a major alcoholic during that 20 year stretch and the bottle really took it's toll on him.
Where did you get the 'alcoholic' Obi Wan story?
by SkinJob69
Feb 18th, 2008
09:49:44 PM
Hadn't heard that. There is a great epilogue in one of the EU books that shows Obi at the Mos Eisley cantina as a news video comes on. It is a story on Darth Vader (in his mechanical suit), and Obi Wan then realizes, for the first time, that Anakin survived. Cool scene.
SkinJob69
by JLo III
Feb 18th, 2008
09:54:20 PM
No that alcoholic thing was just me.
Alright, man. Didn't see how alcohol...
by SkinJob69
Feb 18th, 2008
09:59:45 PM
could bring one closer to the Force, eh.

Still, I did get from that scene that Obi might be at least partly plastered when he sees Anakin in the suit. He stumbles into a table or something. Maybe just from shock, though, I suppose.

Maybe...
by JLo III
Feb 18th, 2008
10:07:36 PM
it was deathsticks
Palpataine did not care about Anakin's family
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 18th, 2008
10:19:39 PM
He didn't care about anyone. He may have heard Anakin talk about his mom from Tatooine, but that was about it, since she was dead.
Also, even Vader didn't know about Leia.
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 18th, 2008
10:21:09 PM
He only thought Luke was his son. Palpatine didn't know about Leia, either.
Who would win: The Empire, or The (original) Decepticons?
by GibsonUSA
Feb 18th, 2008
10:24:40 PM
the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls wins..
by JLo III
Feb 18th, 2008
10:32:58 PM
every time just ask Speilberg or better yet ask Shia
GibsonUSA
by JLo III
Feb 18th, 2008
10:36:31 PM
Are you really a Gibson man? Or does that refer to some other Gibson?
Man this trailer just keeps getting sweeter
by Proman1984
Feb 19th, 2008
12:42:57 AM
I can't get enough!
Rocket Car!!!
by BlackIronPrison
Feb 19th, 2008
12:55:08 AM
So the fight on the rocket car while racing through the desert will happen? Sweet!
THE FACT THAT
by THE KNIGHT
Feb 19th, 2008
01:13:33 AM
This talkback went all Star Wars/George Lucas bashing just shows how much clout the man holds.

Maybe more than the berg himself? The mind ponders!

I bet when Lucas feels bad he reads basher
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 19th, 2008
01:58:20 AM
threads, and then laughs and rolls in his millions.
Vadakin
by Lost Jarv
Feb 19th, 2008
02:54:40 AM
Firstly- we do admit to our bloody and brutal history. We just don't see a need to apologise for it or be publicly flogged for it. You are massively ignorant when it comes to the British.

Secondly, just because a lot of people saw TPM does not mean that they liked it. This is part of the fallacy of using BO to justify the quality of something.

For example, I saw TPM twice. Once because I wanted to and then because I had to take some young relatives. I fucking hated it both times, but my £17 went into the Box Office total.

Prequels are full of wholes but whatever
by messi
Feb 19th, 2008
03:01:48 AM
Lucas rolls around in his cash like a Silver Age Lex Luthor. But Murdoch is Lex Luthor, so Lucas is Dr Doom, but Dr Doom wanted everyone to recoginize his genius. Lucas don't give a fuck.
Any British/ European TB'ers out there
by Lost Jarv
Feb 19th, 2008
03:09:02 AM
If you hate (as you should) AvP:R then this is important:

That useless fucking shitrag Empire has viciously slandered us. Some cunt called Chris Hewitt has written:

"Directors The Brothers Strause – Colin and Greg – apparently got the gig, their first, because they’re such huge Alien and Predator fanboys. AVP:R would indicate that they’re fanboys of the Ain't It Cool talkback variety, guileless goons crowbarring in lame references (the hero is called Dallas; someone actually says ‘Get to the chopper!’) while emphasising splatter and swearing over the suspenseful slow burn."For the full review go to http://tinyurl.com/2gg66d but I'd rather you didn't give the cunts the hits.

If anyone remembers the recent AvP:R wars and the slaughtering we gave the foilage that turned out for it then please air your displeasure at the useless no-quality-control cockmonkeys via email.

In fact, fuck it, anybody who thinks this is wrong- do it, let them know. But be certain to check the AICN history of AvP:R from Mori's initial slaughter of the script to vern's review and our eventual savaging of the plant life.

Lying, dirty cocksuckers.

You fucking nerd messi
by Lost Jarv
Feb 19th, 2008
03:16:21 AM
You post that comic book shit solidly like it is a stroke of genius. I bet you bought tickets to the take That reunion tour,
Empire is fucking shit
by judge dredds fresh undies
Feb 19th, 2008
03:51:05 AM
and film magazines are dead.
Crystal Skull is in teaser trailer
by IndiAbbey Jones
Feb 19th, 2008
05:19:43 AM
Crystal Skull is in teaser
by IndiAbbey Jones
Feb 19th, 2008
05:20:41 AM
John Hurt is holding it in his right hand when he's leading them round the spiral steps
All the soilders are named after
by IndiAbbey Jones
Feb 19th, 2008
05:21:24 AM
American presidents
the Roswell Metal box
by IndiAbbey Jones
Feb 19th, 2008
05:22:47 AM
is in the back of the truck Indy grabs the light from Spalko is driving that truck as he attempts to swing onto it
The rocket sled glimpsed towards the end
by IndiAbbey Jones
Feb 19th, 2008
05:29:26 AM
uses a Podracer from TPM as the rocket
Only a Teaser
by Sackratte
Feb 19th, 2008
06:28:08 AM
This is only a quick Teaser... let's wait for the final Trailer. I still have hopes for a more darker Indy film like the first one. Pleas NO MORE (too) funny Indy movies like the third!!!
International trailer?
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
07:38:59 AM
The only difference I noticed was a milli-second flash of an Indy silohuette at the end.
Pat Roach is dead
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
07:45:37 AM
If you think you saw him in the trailer, you thought wrong. God rest his Thuggee Nazi soul forever.
(PAUSE) .. "I THOUGHT THAT WAS CLOSER .. (PAUSE)
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 19th, 2008
08:00:22 AM
I've got a bad feeling about this.
HAS ANYONE SEEN MICHAEL BAY'S FIOS COMMERCIAL?
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 19th, 2008
08:03:26 AM
He totally stole the "awesome" line from the Talkbacks. I'm sure this is where he got that from. Bastard.
I drank some scotch last night
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
08:07:39 AM
and my oh my did it help me feel better. So I'm off work today just chillin at home. Thanks for all the cure tips!
DOES EMPIRE MAG EVEN READ THE TALKBACKS?
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 19th, 2008
08:10:25 AM
How could they equate TBers with lovers of AVP:R? That movie got nothing but hate here (deservedly). I demand they explain themselves.
THAT'S GREAT KLOIPY
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 19th, 2008
08:10:59 AM
Now show us your tits!!!
my tits are quite small sir change
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
08:12:48 AM
less than an A cup, it's a lower case a cup
GREAT!!! BARELY LEGAL TITTIES ARE BEST!!
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 19th, 2008
08:21:57 AM
Peekaboo! Sir Charge!
I THINK I'M GONNA BOYCOTT MEAT THIS WEEK
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 19th, 2008
08:31:57 AM
Look at this:

https://community.hsus.org/cam paign/CA_2008_investigation?qp _source=gaba89

Howdy kloipy and BSB
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
09:26:51 AM
I have new male role models, and their names are Burt Gummer and Earl Bassett.
Hey abom
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
09:35:27 AM
good to see you man. I'm at home today, sick with the fucking flu. Luckily everyone gave me some great tips yesterday, from alcohol to chicken-shit(which i didn't try Occula), and now I have some meds and some movies and I'm ready to relax
Hey kloipy,
by Lost Jarv
Feb 19th, 2008
09:50:05 AM
hope you're feeling better
Hey Jarv
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
09:53:12 AM
thanks man, still feeling under the weather, but I'm taking it easy today, so hopefully this day of rest will bring we back
worst work day. Ever.
by Lost Jarv
Feb 19th, 2008
09:56:00 AM
and fucking Empire slandered us, bastards.

I've had to hack the server to waste time at work today. What a bastard.

that sucks Jarv
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
09:59:48 AM
I've never read Empire and I don't plan on starting to any time soon esp if they slandered you guys. I've been asked to keep tabs on my work from home. That's how fucking crazy my work is. I'm off sick but yet they are so backed up they need me to work from home
Lost Jarv
by DocPazuzu
Feb 19th, 2008
10:00:18 AM
Well, at least you can relax and watch your MegaForce DVD, right? Right?
Yup arrived this morning,
by Lost Jarv
Feb 19th, 2008
10:16:26 AM
Thank god. I've been waiting for it for ages now.
for my birthday this year
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
10:19:08 AM
my parents got me the full series of The Young Ones on dvd, I think I will be watching that today under the influence of prescription meds
Hello peoples
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
10:20:22 AM
I am proud to announce that, on the advice of y'all, I downloaded and watched Tremors 1 and 2 last night. I was surprised at how good they were, for B-type movies. Some clever stuff thrown in there, given that the premise is that of "Landsharks stalk desert townsfolk." Fred Ward was the shit as Earl, and of course Michael Gross was brilliant as Burt. And Bacon was great in the original, and his girlfriend geologist was the hot.
Deeds Not Words
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
10:23:46 AM
Megaforce is only the greatest movie EVER. Well, okay, greatest next to that Italian spoof of Jaws, "Great White: The Last Shark." But there is no other hero like ACE HUNTER. Except maybe Burt Gummer. That Atlantic Hawks ballcap is WAY more cool than Ace Hunter's pastel purple headband.
awesome Abom!
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
10:25:05 AM
So you got to live in the shadow of the Gross for a short time. I was suprised how much I actually liked Tremors 2. It's quite a fun, stupid movie. And my man MG it rockin' the shit in that movie
Put on some DVDs
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
10:26:11 AM
Nobody can fight the flu like ACE HUNTER and his gold lame action jumpsuit. He'll fly his motorcycle all over that fluness, and kiss his thumb.
I saw the cover for a funny rip-off movie a little while ago
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
10:27:57 AM
it was called Aliens Vs Hunter and it said AVH on the cover and had two figures that looked just a little but like another VS group. I also got quite a laugh from the cover of Dragon Wars, which has the full title and the D-Wars underneath it just in case you need to tell people you saw it you can say "Hey dude, I just watched D-Wars, and let me tell you it fucking sucks"
Well, I made a decision
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
10:32:31 AM
To watch the first two right in a row. I also have 3 and 4, which I'll watch later this week. I'm aware that only Gross is in them, that Ward and Bacon do not return. Which is sad, but hey--if Burt is in them, then fine.

I was also kinda surprised how even though the idea was pretty cheesy, the principals were able to carry it off pretty well. Like, they took their roles seriously--but with a wink to the audience that we all know this is on ongoing joke. Some great one liners in there, like at the end of Tremors when MG bemoans the fate of his survival bunker: "A subterranean fortress able to withstand a 20 kiloton blast. Enough food for 1500 days. Water filtration. Air filtration...goddamn UNDERGROUND MONSTERS. Sigh..."

Burt is enough to carry any film
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
10:34:19 AM
they could have used him well in DePalma's BLack Dahlia
The only thing I didn't like
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
10:37:42 AM
about the original Tremors was when the seismologist girl took off her pants (per Bacon's command), because they should have done that in slo-mo and focused more on her legs and panties. I like when Bacon is dressing her leg wounds in Cheng's store, and Fred Ward is just sitting there leering at her. As if she could read his mind: "Yep. My boy Val there is gonna give you HIS worm."

One cool part about Tremors 2 is how they very consciously address the fact that Grady is "the new guy," and it becomes a running gag. Oh, and I want one of those pacman graboids for a pet.

Funniest bit in Tremors...
by DocPazuzu
Feb 19th, 2008
10:38:42 AM
...is when an exasperated Fred Ward, while stranded on the rock, says "Doesn't it have a home to go to?!"
my favorite scene in the first one
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
10:39:42 AM
is where they are in the grocery store and the guy gets dragged through the floor by the 'boids
From now on
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
10:41:09 AM
when I dislike a movie, I can say "It's no Tremors 2." Or if I don't like an actor, I will say "He's not exactly up there with Michael Gross, now is he?"

I saw on imdb that Tremors 4 is about the PAST, when the graboids invaded during cowboy times, and Burt's ancestor (played by MG) does his schtick. Is that one worth watching, or should I stop at 3?

I like in Tremors 2
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
10:43:54 AM
When they ask Earl (Fred Ward) who named the graboids, and he says "Cheng. An old friend. He named them. Then they ate him."
Inspired by Tremors
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
10:44:38 AM
I shall spend this week pole-vaulting through my office from desk to desk.
I never saw part 4
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
10:44:47 AM
I just assumed it was amazing because I believe that the Gross has the power of time travel and it isn't really his ancestor but more of a 'back to the future' type film but instead of the threat of motherly incest, it has graboids. But, even though i have yet to see it, I would assume that there will be a scene where a horse gets eaten.
From now on at work
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
10:49:49 AM
all major decisions will be determined only after a couple people have done rock-paper-scissors. And I shall attend this afternoon's meeting covered in fire extinguisher goop, so they cannot see me with their infrared.

I'm not convinced Ace Hunter would know what to do with the Graboids, other than fly his cycle over them and blow thumb-kisses on them. If he got killed, I'm sure he'd look great dying, though. Very manly.

wise words from BUrt Gummer
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
10:56:48 AM
[Upon being introduced to Burt's anti-tank rifle] Earl Bassett: Man Burt, you put a whole new shine on the word 'overkill'.
Burt Gummer: When you need it, and don't have it... you sing a different tune.
My new homepage
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
10:59:25 AM
is bookmarked at www.burtgummer.com

The page has nothing but a huge BW photo of MG. Because that's all a website really needs.

that's hilarious Abom
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
11:03:19 AM
that page is going in my favorites right now
I love tremors and tremors 2
by Lost Jarv
Feb 19th, 2008
11:04:37 AM
I was unaware of the existance of 3 and 4. They are getting added to the lovefilm queue.

BTW Kloipy, the wife readjusted the list and we got Frida and that Piaf biography sent. AT THE SAME TIME. How unfair is that?

It's not mine
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
11:05:09 AM
I found it as a link at the bottom of Burt Gummer's wiki page. Maybe we should make some T-shirts that ask, "What Would Burt Gummer Do?"
John McClane, Rambo, Burt Gummer
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
11:06:09 AM
Soldiers of Fortune
jarv
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
11:07:44 AM
dude, that's some bullshit, you better make sure the next two rentals are yours. Make sure you have them playing when her friends are over
abom WWBGD
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
11:08:38 AM
I'd wear 9 of those shirts at the same time they would be so cool
HEY ABOM
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 19th, 2008
11:10:00 AM
Wassup my wigga. I watched part of La Vie En Rose too but haven't finished it yet. It's like the Courtney Love story. I'm interested in finishing it though. I'm sure Michael Gross has a nice rack.
all you need to know
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
11:10:59 AM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B urt_Gummer
OH THAT WAS LOST JARV WHO GOT THE PIAF MOVIE
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 19th, 2008
11:12:00 AM
It's pretty good. I don't remember Tremors much but that will be remedied soon.
this made me laugh
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
11:12:05 AM
"Burt began as a very popular character after the first Tremors movie, garnering enough popularity to be one of the only two original cast-characters to make a return in the movie, and the only character to make an appearance in every Tremors movie, as well as the TV-Series. Although, Burt himself wasn't in Tremors 4, Hiram, his grandfather, was a toned-down version of Burt, so it could be assumed among fans that it's just Burt. The similarities are there, just the look and different name separate the two."
Fuck La vie
by Lost Jarv
Feb 19th, 2008
11:12:37 AM
nothing about it interests me at all.

Frida, although I did quite like it first time, has no rewatch appeal.

Just to get payback, I'm going to manipulate the list and get Lep: Back 2DaHood and Bride of Reanimator next. followed by Hellraiser 2 and Tremors 3, followed by Pumpkinhead 3 & 4.

That'll learn her.

BSB
by Lost Jarv
Feb 19th, 2008
11:13:43 AM
the point is- you only watched part of it. This means that it is dull. Honestly, how many good films do you stop part way through?
I THINK MICHAEL GROSS, ALAN THICKE AND BOB SAGET
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 19th, 2008
11:13:58 AM
should get together and do a Bang Bus series. That would be awesome.
LOST JARV
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 19th, 2008
11:15:42 AM
We had to stop it early because we had to go out, but really I was pretty enGrossed by it. I'm curious to see how it ends, and Piaf is someone I knew nothing about. But she does remind me of Courtney Love.
OK then
by Lost Jarv
Feb 19th, 2008
11:16:57 AM
At least it has to be better than Sliding Doors or Brown Bunny.

Both of which were on the list before I took them off.

ACTUALLY IF YOU WANT TO GET REVENGE ON YOUR WIFE
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 19th, 2008
11:17:35 AM
You should put that German Schoolgirl Report (from Harry's DVD list) in the queue. Expect some divorce papers though.
Jarv that's great
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
11:17:39 AM
she'll think twice before making a mistake like that again. I hope you like 'Bride' it's funny as hell
LATERZ YALL
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 19th, 2008
11:18:49 AM
It's 3:10 to Lunchtime
Off topic, but...
by Billy Batts
Feb 19th, 2008
11:21:15 AM
I need that T-Rex vs Raptors sideshow thing. Anybody else love Jurassic Park? I was 10 when I saw it...It's my Raiders.
Nope, I feel no need to Lovefilm queue porn
by Lost Jarv
Feb 19th, 2008
11:21:19 AM
I'm not harry.

See you all, I'm off to the pub.

Spread the word and get Empire properly bitch slapped for their impertinance.

Billybatts
by Lost Jarv
Feb 19th, 2008
11:21:56 AM
that implies that at some point we were on topic. We weren't
I'm glad to hear you took those off
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
11:22:02 AM
no one needs that torture
I didn't even know
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
11:22:07 AM
there was a TV series. Have I been living in a hole? Then again, if I HAD been living in a hole, I'd know more about graboids, and thus would be of use to Burt Gummer. I could carry his ammo and shit. It's just as well that his wife left him, because it's just that much more room for guns.
classic temors moment
by Lost Jarv
Feb 19th, 2008
11:24:15 AM
Their genius plan in Tremors 2 for killing graboids- loading up remote controlled cars with dynamite.

That's some clever thinking.

Jarv you must be the boss
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
11:27:10 AM
of your movie que. You must be the master of that domain. For every movie she adds, remove it and add a porn film.

Holy shit, where'd they get this MG signed-photo of Burt? I must have one for my desk, like yesterday.

http://tinyurl.com/27bwkj

there are flying graboids in part three
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
11:27:20 AM
they call them "ass-blasters". I think that in and of itself is enough to merit a spot on your top 10 list hahaha
That must be watched.
by Lost Jarv
Feb 19th, 2008
11:28:47 AM
Ass-blasters! Genius.
Abom
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
11:30:00 AM
I tried to sign the guestbook but it wouldn't let me.
well guys
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
11:31:21 AM
I think I'm gonna go lay down for a while. I'm getting fairly drowsy. I will talk to you guys soon, have a great night
That does it
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
11:32:15 AM
I'm watching 3 tonight. Hold my calls.
She has more control over the queue than me
by Lost Jarv
Feb 19th, 2008
11:32:35 AM
because of the stupid internet policy that is designed to stop people like me squandering a day.

However, I am by far more computer literate than them (including IT), so I just access another terminal on the network as someone with admin priveleges.

The problem is that it slows the whole thing down and is a right royal pain in the arse.

Whereas she can look at what she likes. It is most unfair.

right. Really off now
by Lost Jarv
Feb 19th, 2008
11:33:10 AM
see you later fellas
Later kloipy
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
11:35:16 AM
I have to go to a meeting in a couple minutes. I'll have one of the office girls shoot me with a fire extinguisher. All this week at work I will only eat MRE rations. I will pray to 2true, Ace Hunter, and Fred Ward to make your flu go away, and I shall write Michael Gross a letter to only say the word and you shall be healed.
Obi-Wan's aging
by Bouncy X
Feb 19th, 2008
12:04:38 PM
its not that big a jump really. there's a 10yr gap between episodes 1 and 2...and probably 2-4 between episodes 2 and 3...so obi-wan was likely in his 30s during Sith...and then there's the 20yrs between episodes 3 and 4. that's easily over 30yrs from episode 1 to 4 which would make him somewhere in his 60s so it all works out.
Bouncy X
by Mr. JLo
Feb 19th, 2008
12:19:23 PM
He looks older than 60s to me in ANH. Anyway if he's 30 something in 3 then he would be 50 something in 4.
Burt Gummer
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
12:32:43 PM
is as old or as young as he chooses to be. He can travel in time and fight graboids in dimensions no one has yet experienced.
Burt Gummer
by Mr. JLo
Feb 19th, 2008
12:38:25 PM
Sounds like a modern day Jedi
Burt Gummer is not a Jedi
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
12:47:21 PM
he is a god among men
Sorry Kloipy my mistake..
by Mr. JLo
Feb 19th, 2008
12:53:06 PM
I'm a little unfamiliar with Burt, I don't get to see a lot of art films these days.
I can't help but laugh...
by heks
Feb 19th, 2008
12:53:38 PM
at all the hate this is getting. And not because I disrespect the right of people to hate it, but because I find it all so ironic.

I can't count the times I've seen people complain that this doesn't look serious enough. That it's a joke compared to the serious Indy of Raiders. But the fact of the matter is that there were people who went to see Raiders who were disappointed because they were expecting a serious adventure film and Raiders was too jokey compared to what they were expecting. My parents were among that group. It was only a few years later that they really started to like it.

I also see comments along the lines of "Don't they know what we want to see? We want to see Indy riding on a horse in the desert like in Raiders". But at the same time I see "Last Crusade sucked". Well Last Crusade had Indy riding on a horse in the desert. But what? It's too jokey? He's got his dad instead of being on his own? Well, first, it's not significantly more jokey than Raiders. I watched all three movies over the course of 2 days and I really don't see a very significant change in tone or amount of humor. There might be one or two exceptions, but I didn't have a problem with them because I could see it as realistic to the character under the circumstances. Second, Ford and Connery have awesome chemistry. If they made Last Crusade much more like Raiders it would just be "Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Rehash". I don't really want two versions of Raiders of the Lost Ark. If I want to see Raiders, I can just watch it. If I want something with a bit of a different flavor I have the other two movies ... and I thoroughly enjoy all of them.

Also, I agree with the reason someone suggested for why they didn't start the TEASER with iconic music and iconic scenes. These things are primarily intended to be seen once, at normal speed, in a theater. With that in mind, the way it is done would tend to make you say, "Wait a minute. What the hell is this? Is that...? Oh my God."

As a long-time fan who has literally seen each movie well over 100 times, if they had started with iconic Indy music from any movie, even if not the main theme, that effect would have been entirely spoiled for me. I would have recognized it in the first two milliseconds. As it is, the TEASER delays any iconic Indy stuff until it is ready to break new ground with new footage. I love that. And instead of giving old iconic images, it uses new footage to give us a throwback to the Indy silhouette on Marion's wall in Raiders. I love that too.

I also love that they get out of the way immediately that, yes, he's a bit older, but damn it, he's still Indy. He's still going to do what we expect of him, but it's not going to be easy ... at least not as easy as it used to be.

As for missing the back of the truck on the whip swing and swinging back into the other jeep ... I could see Indy doing that even at the time of earlier movies. I don't have a problem with the line he says either. But, that having been said, that bit of the TEASER strikes me a bit as specifically being teaser footage. It could just be the editing, but I wouldn't be surprised if we don't quite see that scene in the movie as it appears in the TEASER. I just recently watched 30 Days of Night, and then last night I saw a trailer for it before a movie I rented. There were scenes, shots, takes, etc. in that trailer that were not in the movie at all. They did the same thing for Die Hard 4.

Another thing I like about this teaser is that I have no idea whatsoever what the story is about, which a big gripe I have with a lot of trailers. I also like the fact that I don't feel like I've just seen the entirety of every exciting scene in the movie. I feel like I've seen really brief snippets of some exciting stuff without giving away any really big thrills.

In short, I feel like this TEASER says, "Yup, Indiana Jones is back ... and we have a hell of a lot of cool stuff to show you ... but we're not gonna show it to you yet ... just trust us."

It's Indy ... and I'm willing to trust them right up until I walk into the theater a watch the whole movie. If I'm disappointed afterwards, then I'm disappointed ... but I'm certainly not going to trash this movie for the TEASER not showing me what the Indy team doesn't WANT to show me quite yet.
JLo
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
12:56:46 PM
do yourself a favor my friend. Leave whatever you are doing right now and go forth and buy Tremors 1-4. You will see the Zeus-like powers that Michael "Burt Gummer" Gross posesses.
Mr. J Lo
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
12:57:27 PM
If you want consummate artistic statements in your films, look no further than Tremors and Tremors 2: Aftershocks. Marvel at the everyman roughness of Fred Ward's Earl. Be amazed at the gung-ho readiness of Michael Gross as Burt Gummer, ultimate man of action. Plus, the original has Kevin Bacon. I mean, jesus, it's all right there for you.
quoted for emphasis...
by Mr. Osato
Feb 19th, 2008
12:58:31 PM
"This film will *not* be exactly like the Indy movies of old. Directors change, actors age, DOPs retire, film stocks get faster, color grading procedures go digital, special effects technologies *evolve*. Time. Marches. On. If this "doesn't look like" an Indiana Jones film to you, if the trailer didn't give you "chills" or butterflies in the stomach or sent you a dozen long stemmed roses or looked too much like something made in the year 2008 (find the nearest calendar and check the date, you may be shocked) then maybe you just oughta spend May 22 at home washing your hands five thousand times with a pad of steel wool til the tips weep blood. That at least will be an event you can exert some control over. " God damn Laserbrain...on the fucking money.
I mean I haven't even SEEN Tremors 4
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
01:00:09 PM
but I can wholeheartedly say that it has to be among some of the finest material ever set to film
I am a new Gummer convert
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
01:00:18 PM
And as a gumvert, it is my mission to preach the masculine resilience that is Burt Gummer. There is a reason his hometown is called "Perfection," because that is what he is, and what every man should strive to be for his wife and children, but more importantly, for HIMSELF. Finally I know what I've been doing wrong all these years. But now I'm proud to say I'll be going shopping soon for an Atlanta Hawks baseball cap. And guns. Lots of guns.
seriously JLo
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
01:02:51 PM
imagine getting buttfucked by an elephant, that's how much these films and espicially the performance of 1 Michael Gross will blow your fucking mind
can't spell for shit today
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
01:04:22 PM
fucking flu
Kloipy, what's hilarious
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
01:04:36 PM
is that ALL the Tremor movies have fresh ratings at RT. The first one is like 89%, which stunned even this Gummer-fan. I guess I should not have been suprised, lest any lack of faith show. My meeting went well, by the way. They could not see me with their infrared because I was coated in fire extinguisher effluence, and it didn't start melting till well after the meeting. Which featured several pencil-stabbing fatalities.

Is it true that Warwick played a Shrieker in Tremors 2? I'm pretty sure he also played the cement mixer.

Warwick also played one of the toy trucks
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
01:05:36 PM
he's the red one
Kloipy & Abominable Snowcone
by Mr. JLo
Feb 19th, 2008
01:05:37 PM
Thanks guys, I've been looking for a good art flick to impress my girlfriend with. She thinks I'm shallow and juvinial. Well, I'll show her tonight. I'm going to head home and pick up a nice bottle of wine and hit the video store. By the way are these French titles?
glad to hear that the fire extinguisher worked
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
01:07:20 PM
I know that people who lead meetings are just shriekers and assblasters in disquise
they aren't french
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
01:08:47 PM
they are born and raised, just like Michael Gross, in the depths of an icelandic hot spring
I think Tremors means Orgasm in French
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
01:08:59 PM
pronounce it Tray-more. Your wife will thank you. The first one has Kevin Bacon, Fred Ward AND Mr. Family Ties himself, Michael Fucking Gross fighting giant sandworms. You can't go wrong. Your wife will thank you and never question your movie choices again. Nevermind that the worms are perfect metaphors for BOTH vaginas and peniseseses.
Xi, that's just a McGuffin
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
01:10:02 PM
Burt "motherfucker" Gummer likes to mislead
Ah but Xiphos
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
01:11:22 PM
therein is the magic of Gummer's cunning. He knows people will see him in the hat and immediately discredit his intelligence. But then, BAM! He hits you with his brilliance. And yet, he's humble. In Tremors 2 he flat-out acknowledges that Earl came up with the idea of fishing for graboids with radio-control cars. I mean, that's just a class act.
Tremors in French is La Petit Morte
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
01:12:24 PM
watch it with your wife and within 4 seconds of the screen time filled with Burt Gummer, your wife will be on all fours sucking your dick in thanks for giving her the pleasure of Tremors
What the HELL
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
01:12:33 PM
is that diorama advertisement in the corner for Raiders, and why do they spell "Ark" wrong? What, is it like Raiders of the Lost Algebra II class? Don't forget your protractor.
Xi, take this quote for example
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
01:14:10 PM
[Upon being introduced to Burt's anti-tank rifle
Earl Bassett: Man Burt, you put a whole new shine on the word 'overkill'.

Burt Gummer: When you need it, and don't have it... you sing a different tune.
Kloipy said it better
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
01:15:14 PM
than I ever could hope to. But yes, your loved one will be siphoning from your graboid in short order. Because when you put Bacon, Ward and Gross in a movie together, vaginas moisten up like dew-dropped petals of tulips in the first light of morning.
Burt Gummer is the fuckin' Maya Angelou
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
01:15:56 PM
of mutant underground earthworms
Or this line
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
01:18:05 PM
from "Val" played by Kevin Bacon, as told to his love interest:

"You need to take your pants off!"

Yes, Mr. Bacon. Truer words were never spoken. Except maybe by Gummer and Bassett. But after them, truth clings more tightly to none.

Burt Gummers wife is Reba
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
01:21:43 PM
do I need to keep listing reasons?
It all sounds great!!
by Mr. JLo
Feb 19th, 2008
01:26:55 PM
This is the "in" I've been lookng for. I love how the French can turn something as common as a worm into such a beautiful metaphor for love. I'm about to cry just thinking about it.

I had no idea Mr. Micheal Gross was French thats fantastic!!

Xi
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
01:33:17 PM
but Burt, as an elder-god, knows that people will see him wearing his Atlanta Hawks hat and automatically believe that he is just a mortal, when in fact he has tricked them once again. Burt Gummer 1, Humanity 0
It was no ordinary fence
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
01:33:37 PM
It was barbed wire fence. That scene was one of many in that film that made me take a good look at myself and rethink what it means to be a man.

Yeah, Reba is Gummer's bitch. I hate country music, but studying her ass in the film, I could find nothing wrong with it. Maybe because the brilliance of Gross, Ward, and The Bacon was enough for everybody. And who is that actress who played the geologist? I need her to ride my pony.

As President of the United States I declare these trailers to be
by MrPresident
Feb 19th, 2008
01:35:28 PM
AWESOME!
A correction re: Ringwearer9
by Ringwearer9
Feb 19th, 2008
01:36:08 PM
Ringbearer9 did NOT hate on the LOTR films before he had seen them. He went into the FELLOWSHIP blind, and while he enjoyed Hobbiton and many of the actors portrayals, he was annoyed by the choppiness and sloppiness of the editing. He also disliked the poor quality of the CGI troll and the rapid-cut nature of the action with that troll. Likewise, he was dismayed by the ridiculous collapsing architecture adventures which made the confrontation with the Balgrog at the bridge anticlimactic. Whatever problems I had with the theatricals were slightly alleviated by less choppy cuts in the "Extended Editions" which I saw much later, but I listened to the commentary and developed a hatred for Jackson as an individual, (contrasting with my feeling of mixed like and dislike for the films themselves) that gave me real insight into the man's taste, and predicted the awfulness that King Kong turned out to be. But in no way was I bashing LOTR before I saw it. I had only rented FRIGHTENERS to see what the director was about, and was only mildly puzzled by the frantic, cue-deficient editing in that film (which I enjoyed well enough).
Burt Gummer
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
01:37:06 PM
once shot and exploded a shrieker from a quarter mile away, and not only did it explode the shrieker, it also put holes in two cinderblock walls and ruined the engine of a perfectly good pickup truck. One shot. And he didn't even mean to do that. Because he was denied critical need-to-know information. Plus, he once spent an entire night in the scoop of a bulldozer, armed only with a knife against two dozen shriekers who might have been alerted to his presence at any moment. And you think YOU had a rough morning? Look in the mirror, my friends!
exactly Abom
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
01:37:12 PM
Burt could have any woman he wants, but he chose Reba because she is a more natural looking woman. If he struted around with Jolie under his arm it might raise suspision. And Burt knows something I do took, Redheads are wonderful in bed
xiphos
by heks
Feb 19th, 2008
01:40:10 PM
Thanks for the tip. I'm kinda new here. Now I finally understand that the reason the premature hate for this movie seemed nonsensical is just because it doesn't make sense. What a revelation :)

Let me try: This movie will BE awesome. It will be THE best THING ever created IN the history OF the world. BOOYAH!
I only watched each of the LOTR movies
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
01:41:57 PM
once. Just once. I didn't think they were bad, but I don't have enough hours left in my life to commit to watching them again. And even if I did, I would not, because then I'd have less time for Tremors 3 and 4. But if Michael Gross or Kevin Bacon or Fred Ward had starred in them, I would consider it. Now, as for Indy, the only thing that would keep me from seeing Crystal Skull on opening day would be if they rushed out Tremors 5. Or MegaForce 2: Ace Hunter Begins--Deeds Not Words.
Tremors 5
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
01:43:35 PM
I was reading that they were trying to get it up and running but it is in 'production hell' right now. So, now that the writer's strike is over, I can get back to work on my now infamous Tremors 5 script
Burt has known
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
01:44:45 PM
the shorn splendor that is the copper colored stubble garden of The Reba. Tastes just like peaches 'n cream, I do declare!
"copper colored stubble garden "
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
01:45:39 PM
i'm choking on phlemgh because of that line Abom
You write it, I'll shoot it
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
01:47:23 PM
I'll dress my kids like shriekers and make them run around in the yard. I figure I can get about an hour before the police come, or the battery in the Canon DC20 dies. My daughter will look at me plaintively and ask, "Father, why are we doing this?"

"Because we are making an important film, my child." I shall say.

"What film is that?"

"Tremors 5."

In the Indy trailer
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
01:49:48 PM
It sounds like what Indy says is, "Damn--I thought that was closer." But what he's really saying is, "Damn--I thought that was closer to the way Burt Gummer would have done it."
hahaha I wonder if we can get The Gross to star?
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
01:49:59 PM
I think when he hears the word Tremors his ears perk up and he flies to wherever he is needed
the movie was originaly called Indy Jones and the
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
01:51:11 PM
Crystal Skull of Burt Gummer, starring Michael Gross as everyone in the universe
Next Christmas
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
01:58:32 PM
everyone on my list will get the Tremors DVD box set. They have that, right? For christ's sake?
Michael Gross
by Mr. JLo
Feb 19th, 2008
02:01:48 PM
If you read the Vanity Fair interview with George Lucas he is very clear about Michael Gross making a brief cameo in the New Indiana Jones. I believe he is playing Indiana's brother Montana Jones.
The Tremors Box Set would rock for Christmas
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
02:02:18 PM
Tremors 5: Preperation B gets rid of the 'boids
HOLY SHIT ABOM-check this out!
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
02:13:17 PM
http://www.toymania.com/news/i mages/0206_tremors1.jpg
I used to wonder
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
02:17:53 PM
who needs dioramas? But after seeing that, I know the answer. I must have that on my desk, pronto. Because then everyone I do business with will know "this guy doesn't kid around."
Q: Who would win in a fight
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
02:20:55 PM
between Arnold and Sly Stallone?

A: Michael Gross.

if they saw that diorama at your desk
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
02:23:21 PM
they would just kneel in front of you, probably put your cock in their mouths as well
so i just heard the bad news
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
02:25:25 PM
that neither Scarlett or Natalie get naked in that new movie. damn
You too can have a basement like Burt
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
02:26:58 PM
here's how to be awesome:

http://tinyurl.com/2neelh

LOL Abom
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
02:29:19 PM
dude, nothing can top that. That is the funniest shit. I can't believe you found that!
Let Burt show you
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
02:34:07 PM
how to stare at a woman's ass. Even Reba's.

http://tinyurl.com/2lqlba

abom check this out
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
02:34:42 PM
Michael Gross
Date of Birth
21 June 1947, Chicago, Illinois, USA
Height 6' 4" (1.93 m)
Mini Biography
Born in Chicago in 1947, was involved in a gang during high school for a couple years before becoming a better student and graduating as senior class president.
I believe it
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
02:45:52 PM
now we see why Burt is 100% man.

On another note, Fred Ward's wiki suggests that he was molested by his uncle, and that he uses his acting as therapy. Who would EVER guess at that tragic past? The guy is all MAN! Not only is he Remo AND Timerider, but also EARL. You can't be more man than that, without also being Burt Gummer.

Fred Ward
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
02:52:19 PM
he's a rough and tumble kind of guy, but deep down he's got the heart of lamb
I'll bet you
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
02:54:42 PM
when Fred Ward isn't busy kicking the shit out of graboids or people who piss him off, he spends his free time working at soup kitchens feeding the homeless and knitting sweaters for orphans and weaving basket nests for puppies.
Michael Gross has a charity
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
02:56:09 PM
it's the charity for not getting your ass handed to you by Michael "ass handing" Gross
Now I must leave
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 19th, 2008
02:56:20 PM
for the day. Enjoy your flu, kloipy! Maybe pillow will stop in tomorrow. Tonight on my viewing schedule, Tremors 3. Another lesson on what it means to be a real man.
I'll see you tomorrow my friend!
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
03:01:17 PM
thanks for helping me laugh through the sickness
700th
by Kloipy
Feb 19th, 2008
03:40:16 PM
tired of seeing 699 up there
Last
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 19th, 2008
04:00:42 PM
Man. This talkback died.
Final entry
by Mr. JLo
Feb 19th, 2008
04:14:34 PM
Thank you, and goodnight.
FINITO!
by BringingSexyBack
Feb 19th, 2008
04:29:03 PM
A fineet!
The problem Xiphos
by otm shank
Feb 19th, 2008
06:19:28 PM
Is that when the Russians turn into the Soviets again, Uncle Sam is going to reclaim his silos and then you'll be on the street.
Xiphos
by otm shank
Feb 19th, 2008
07:08:46 PM
I remember seeing something about that as well. I also thought that would be a pretty cool vacation house.
New Yorkers go to the Hamptons for the summer..
by otm shank
Feb 19th, 2008
07:11:00 PM
I shall retreat to my silo for the summer.:)
Xiphos
by otm shank
Feb 19th, 2008
07:24:47 PM
No bud. Orange County, California born and raised.
i wants a tommy burger too
by occula
Feb 19th, 2008
07:43:39 PM
wif fries!
shit yeah
by occula
Feb 19th, 2008
08:04:15 PM
chili CHEESE fries, man. if you're gonna go myocardial infarction, go all the way, baby.

by Munro Kelly
Feb 19th, 2008
08:05:25 PM
Kloipy
by Munro Kelly
Feb 19th, 2008
08:07:23 PM
The line about MG's charity was funny.
i must go there
by occula
Feb 19th, 2008
08:43:54 PM
what did i have for lunch today? a salad and 4 brownies. sensible eating, i has the skills.
Disappointed? Go look at the other trailers
by dedpubserv
Feb 19th, 2008
09:48:10 PM
Ok so the trailer is OK. It is not the greatest thing since sliced bread but it has its moments. So, I went back and looked at the trailers for the other movies (on the official website)and you know something? With the exception of the theatrical trailor for the Last Crusade (which has most of the best lines from the film)they all suck, especially the teaser trailers. I think the quality of a trailer says more about whoever made it than the movie. All I know is I'm planning to see this movie the first day, and no trailer is making any difference. (And if you creamed over the trailer, that's cool too.)
The trailer for Raiders has that voice over guy
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 19th, 2008
10:03:32 PM
saying, "They're all RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK!"
and....
by JLo III
Feb 19th, 2008
10:17:58 PM
thats a wrap people, thanks for coming out tonight.

Oh, and the movie will be fun.

dedpubserv is right
by heks
Feb 19th, 2008
10:36:40 PM
Those trailers aren't great. And I think they give away too much. And the Raiders trailers are worst of all. They don't give any hint of how great a movie it really is, and totally fail to get across any of the humor that is part of what makes the movie so good ... and yet still manage to give away too many surprises.
heks
by JLo III
Feb 19th, 2008
10:50:16 PM
Those old 80s trailers are all most all bad, really. I watch them these days and laugh. But back when these great movies were made it was a way differant time. No internet, no instant news and all that stuff.

I don't know what that has to do with anything execpt it was not nearly as serious as it is today.

Indiana Jones Saved My Family
by Dark Knight Lite
Feb 19th, 2008
11:13:34 PM
True story: downloaded the trailer, burned it to a DVD and took it over to my parents' house. Without telling anyone in my family what they were going to see, I started the disc. My wife started to tear up when she realized what it was. After the trailer was over, my mom, who has been very ill and doesn't like to go anywhere anymore, said,"can we all go see it together in May?" Awesome. So anyway, around May 25, it will be my 70 year old parents, my 90 year old grandmother, my wife, and myself going back to the movies to see an old friend. Thanks George and Steven.
I didn't think Lohan was hot before.
by otm shank
Feb 20th, 2008
01:17:38 AM
Now that I've seen her nekkid, I know she isn't hot.
Yep, Lohan still keeping up that serious actress image
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 20th, 2008
02:16:02 AM
Way to go.
you all lie
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
06:46:56 AM
You'd all bang Lohan in a new york minute.

Even if only to brag about it,

hey Jarv
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
07:10:44 AM
how are you doing this morning my friend?
Morning, fellas
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
07:16:53 AM
Or evening, depending on where you are. Checked out Tremors 3 last night. Pretty good, even without Ward or the Bacon. Because it had Burt in it. More funny one-liners than I can remember. One early zinger from Burt that sticks out is, "Is your head up your ass for the warmth?" I thought the shots of the flying ass-blasters were very fake-looking, but hey, Tremors is about MANLINESS, not special effects. And even without a gun, trapped in a port-o-toilet, Burt Gummer was all man.
hey abom
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
07:17:51 AM
Burt Gummer hasn't an ounce of pussy in him, but he gets a lot of him inside some pussy
I dunno about banging Lohan
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
07:17:53 AM
your weiner might turn to cheese and fall off inside of two days.
Hey guys,
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
07:20:06 AM
Am viciously hungover.

We have a BEAR thread. How cool!

In part 3
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
07:20:10 AM
he also got himself inside one of them graboids, in a sequence that was pure comedy gold. After crazy Zen Jack uses a chainsaw to cut Burt out of the thing, spraying orange and green guts everywhere, Jodi glumly says, "You guys need supervision."
I have to see Tremors 3
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
07:22:50 AM
I feel it is important to my well being.

Pity I've only got stupid Frida and La Vie en Rose to wade through first

Is it true
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
07:22:59 AM
that Warwick Davis played an ass-blaster, a 55 gallon drum, a microwave oven AND a spare truck tire in Tremors 3? The guy rules. I think I'm going to make a film called Killer Grizzly vs. Tremors. Just to meet Warwick. And after I get done shooting kloipy's script for Tremors 5.
Warwick is a very versatile actor
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
07:25:12 AM
He once played all 7 Dwarves, Snow White AND the evil queen.

Not to mention the poisoned apple, and a water barrel.

He was busy that week

Oops, sorry Jarv
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
07:26:17 AM
I didn't mean to spoil one of the funnier moments in the movie. But then again, it's not like it's one of those "Luke, I am your father" moments. I wonder who would win in a fight between a couple shriekers and a wampa. Oh wait, Burt would win.
from reading the IMDB reviews of Tremors 4
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
07:28:02 AM
it appears that the people think it is the best sequel in the tremors series. And Abom, there is a box set it's called "The Pack Attack"
late to the game here...
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
07:28:22 AM
but I can't believe you found Burt's basement Abom. I had to take the 360 degree view of the safe room. I swear I smelled a manliness stench in there.
Burt's basement
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
07:30:06 AM
it smells like Old Spice and beef jerky
Burt once offered to show me his basement
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
07:30:13 AM
but then he derided me for not being man enough and said I wasn't allowed.

it still hurts to this day.

and gun oil, vaseline and the tears
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
07:30:53 AM
shed by those acolytes that don't measure up.
Burt's safe room has a safe room inside it
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
07:31:40 AM
he is, after all, very paranoid about WW3
Holy crap!
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
07:33:19 AM
Damn, the 4-pack is only 15.65 at dvduniverse. That's less than 20 bucks for the DVD bible of manliness. I better stock up on those christmas gifts early. Seriously, I'll probably order one, because I downloaded them, and after watching them I know Michael Gross and Fred Ward deserve my money. In fact, I think I'll just send like $100. It'd be sweet if it came with a Burt action figure though. Then I could put him on my desk and people would know, "OMG this guy is a Burt Gummer fan. I better not mess around with him."
anytime you buy the Attack Pack
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
07:35:55 AM
a radio signal is sent to Burt's basement and a nubile african queen will give him oral pleasure
Hey there pillow
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
07:37:27 AM
Yeah, I did a search for tremors stuff yesterday because I wanted to educate myself on what it truly means to be a man, and I found the Stampede Entertainment site. There's a link in there that spotlights Tremor / Burt props and gifts, but I was unable to find prices or a place to order. It's just as well. I would have ordered six of everything.
Burt is the ying to 2for2true's yang...
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
07:41:24 AM
This is like the chicken and the egg argument. Which manliness came unto the world first?

Abom, your search is like National Treasure 3 or something. It's that important.

One goof I noticed in Part III
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
07:41:37 AM
was after the shriekers attack Burt basement, the threesome retreat to his safe room. Then when the ass blaster tries melting through the door, they escape in the tunnel and Burt sets a can of gas by the door to create a bomb. But once they're outside, they realized they're exposed to the other shriekers and they wonder where to hide. But why not just climb back inside the tunnel? Hmmmmm? It wouldn't be permanent protection, but it would provide cover. I know it's nitpicking, but it was from watching Burt that taught me to notice these things.

If buying a Pack Attack results in Burt or MG receiving oral pleasure, I will order a dozen and just keep them on hand for gifts. Because nothing says "You're special, and I care about you" like the gift of graboid entertainment.

Attack Pack=Hallmark Card
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
07:45:10 AM
your wife may take a liking to your graboid if you get her this
Even Mary Gross was in it
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
07:46:33 AM
She calls husband MG "Burt Goober." Pure comedy gold dipped in fondue, peoples. There I was in 2004, worried about whether Lucas would totally mess up Sith, and I never even knew the glory that is Tremors 3 existed. Although I will say I like 1 and 2 slightly more, because they feature Burt AND Ward and The Bacon, and that combination of manliness is paramount. Even though those movies do not feature wampas or bears.
I'm surprised Burt even needs cover...
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
07:46:43 AM
His manly stench provides a protective gaseous bubble that has been know to repel bullets, ass blasters, and bears.
Awesomely
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
07:46:50 AM
we've got 2 sabotage threads in full swing now.

We've clearly learnt from all our weeks of studying True-fu. And are wise in the ways of Burt.

There's a great line in Tremors 2
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
07:48:43 AM
when Burt says that Mary left him because she took the fact that civilisation didn't collapse really badly.

Awesome.

Summer is coming
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
07:50:46 AM
and that means wedding season. And nothing says, "God bless your marriage" like the gift of the Graboid Pack Attack. Comes with a special embossed ass-blaster greeting card that says "Welcome to Perfection" and farts fire when you open it up.
I'm very sad I haven't seen Tremors 3....
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
07:50:52 AM
My education is sorely lacking.

*Burt and 2for2true shake their heads in disdain at pillow...*

in the battle between Burt and 2tru
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
07:51:24 AM
it would end in a draw, they would shake hands, because they would know they had met their equal
great idea Abom!
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
07:51:45 AM
One of my friends is getting hitched in June. This will help him retain his manhood!
yup, My best mate is getting hitched to the coffin wagon
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
07:52:26 AM
This is a tough decision. Do I go with the Crock of Gore or the Attack Pack.

Which will piss his new bride off the least?

nothing says "I'm sorry your parents died"
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
07:53:20 AM
like the gift of a Graboid Pack Attack. I hope when I'm buried a graboid can feast off of my remains as I watch from above with God and Burt
There's a line in 3
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
07:53:55 AM
when Jack says, "Burt, gimme your lighter" and Burt asks, "How do you know I have a lighter?"

"Because you're Burt," Jack says.

Or when the three of them are hiding in the port-o-toilet and Jodi tells Burt "YOU DO NOT HAVE A GUN. JUST DEAL WITH IT." If she wasn't so cute, I might've taken issue with her speaking that way to my new king.

what the hell, I'll give him both.
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
07:54:25 AM
Especially as we are going to spain to learn bullfighting for his stag bash, and he is clearly going to need to regrow his testicles after a bull stomps them.
The real question is....
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
07:55:26 AM
Is Burt more of a king than Ash?

It's pondering questions like this that give meaning to my life.

"Because you're Burt"
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
07:57:03 AM
words from the lips of the angels
whoa....that's a heavy question...
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
07:57:30 AM
Ash did lop off his hand with a chainsaw. Burt has the moustache.
When the world ends
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
07:58:04 AM
I'm not sure if I want Jesus to show up, because I'll be hiding behind Burt, dispensing his belt-fed .50 caliber salvation to the daemons of the underworld. And if a graboid does consume me, I will die proudly, knowing that Burt himself was once so consumed.
Ash also says
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
07:58:49 AM
"Hail to the King Baby"

But burt kills Graboids with a fucking arsenal of heavy weaponry.

that's a question I don't think I can answer Jarv
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
07:59:00 AM
abom, I'd take a barrage of bullets for Burt
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
08:00:53 AM
no questions asked, even if the bullets were fired by burt
Ash has a mechnical hand
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
08:01:07 AM
Burt has a safe room.
Hey Jarv
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
08:01:10 AM
You mentioned two TBs that have been sab-bear-taged. What's the other one?

There is just so much to admire about a father figure who is prepared for the worst at all times, had met certain death repeatedly and blown it off, and has known the splendor of Reba's sweet auburn thicket.

whoah,
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
08:01:28 AM
It's just too deep.

They're both such heroes.

kung-fu pussy bear thread
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
08:01:39 AM
The Kung-Fu Bear TB
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
08:02:15 AM
but really, any title involving bears is open to abuse.
"Reba's sweet auburn thicket"
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
08:04:03 AM
that shit cracks me up man
Oh yeah, bears
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
08:06:48 AM
it should have been obvious to me. Damn, I guess I better watch the first two Tremors again.

Burt is so manly that by the time Tremors 3 ends, he SPOILER lets "El Blanco" live just to keep from being bored. That's like saying, "The devil is my bitch."

Reba wasn't enough of a woman for Burt
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
08:08:09 AM
but no woman is. He has a harem and they are on constant rotation.
I think later
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
08:09:33 AM
when I'm even MORE bored I'll search for Reba's website and fire off a bunch of email asking what it was like to be Mrs. Burt Gummer and what it's like to be ex-Mrs. Gummer, and whether she'll ever go back to him, because what kind of damn fool woman wouldn't, and where's she gonna find another man who is anything more than a shadow of the One True Burt?
abom, you NEED to do that man
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
08:11:13 AM
let us know if you ever get a straight answer from the maroon poon
"maroon poon"
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
08:14:52 AM
funny shit.
who would win in a fight between
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
08:16:10 AM
Burt, Ash, 2True and a Kodiak Bear?

This question must be answered. I personally think that the awesomeness of this battle would put out the sun.

the fight
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
08:20:15 AM
Ash would kill the bear, 2tru would kill Ash, and Burt and 2tru would throw so much energy at each other that they would revert into light
The universe would implode
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
08:21:38 AM
I think the bear would die early, however.
I was thinking
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
08:22:50 AM
that 2true would stab the bear to death with a pencil and then the 3 supermen would absorb energy at a frightening rate eventually wiping out all life in the universe before exploding in a supernova to start a new universe where up is down, blue is red and all women have 7 breasts.
so Jarv it's kind of a win-win for us anyways
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
08:24:42 AM
I picture the epic battle to end after going through a worm hole and seeing the sun dawn on a giant Warwick fetus in space
oooh, that's a good question
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
08:25:57 AM
If you substitute Warwick for the Bear this could be a truly titanic struggle.

come on hollywood, we're full of great ideas, hire us!

fuckin' right Jarv
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
08:28:36 AM
we deserve a contract and an unlimited amount of money to bring our masterpiece to life.
once we get our foot in the door
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
08:31:40 AM
we have to bring to life Beastmaster 4: Ringpiece of the Worm, Tremors 5, and my dream prequel for Dark Angel.

It's a fucking gold idea- set in victorian london and Jack The Ripper= Intergalactic Drug Dealer.

These are all great ideas.

we come in here every day and give people laughs for free
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
08:33:29 AM
and yet the writer's of 2 and 1/2 Men need more money for stupid kid jokes?
I'd even be up for Burt Gummer in a non-tremors movie
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
08:38:07 AM
just his continuing adventures.
This is a good point
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
08:38:36 AM
How on earth do the writers of such crap as Joey or 2 1/2 dickheads think they deserve more money.

They should be putting their money into a fucking charity for traumatised victims of their "comedy".

We're much funnier,

what passes for 'comedy' on sitcoms is horrible
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
08:40:28 AM
seriously, I can't understand why Friends was so huge over here. It's not funny at all.
Gumverted to Ashtrology
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
08:42:06 AM
I think I'll start a millenarian religion based on this concept of juxtaposing super-forces at a constant state of near-conflict. People will send us money to make our movie, all desperately hoping that the final battle to end all battles will not come to pass.
To be fair
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
08:42:12 AM
the first series of friends was quite funny.

The london episodes made me violent.

and religions get a tax break
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
08:43:31 AM
what a good idea.

can we put the profits in to Dark Angel 2?

We can cast Burt as the victorian pimp that slaps the intergalactic drug dealer around.

REPENT!
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
08:45:17 AM
Death is upon you!!!
The whole of the universe
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
08:46:33 AM
was spawned spontaneously from the innards of a self-creating and sustaining hermaphroditic galactic graboid. Only Burt, Ash and True could begin to even fathom that.
KNEEL BEFORE THE ALTAR OF YOUR ONE 2TRUE GOD
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
08:46:38 AM
High Priest Jarv so speaketh,

and give us your money.

Now.

hey at least we would be taken more seriously
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
08:46:45 AM
than the Westboro Baptist Fuck-faces
"OF YOUR ONE 2TRUE GOD"
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
08:47:39 AM
Jarv that was brilliant, that shit sent me into a coughing fit
We can also convince people that if they don't worship
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
08:49:21 AM
in the church of 2true manliness then they will be consumed by the bates and digested in a pit of fire for 10,000 years.

REPENT SINNERS

The Divine Trinity
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
08:50:02 AM
of Ash, True and Burt shall dispatch their benevolent spirt-guide, Warwick, who shall so descend upon the children of sodom and open their minds to the possibilities of ultimate manliness. That is, if they send a check for at least $50 right away
Other Sins for athiests
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
08:51:30 AM
include falling into the abyss wo be stabbed 79,987,643,001 times by the HB pencil of judgement.

to chiansaw your own hand off every day for perpetuity, only for it to regrow every night

To scrub the tobacco stains off the wall of Prophet Burt's survival bunker using a brick.

Hell is called Bades
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
08:52:08 AM
it always smells like sulfur
I decided not to file a tax return this year...
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
08:53:08 AM
2for2true told me not to. He said the IRS are filled with a bunch of pussies that need to be struck down by their own #2 pencils.
Here, I've made some kool-aid
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
08:53:26 AM
for all the believers. The starship will be departing in twenty minutes, so please put these sneakers on and chop off your dicks.
Yes pillow, tax season is the time
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
08:55:13 AM
for No.2 pencils to take flight and find their marks--in the collective jaw of the unbelieving multitude. The taste of blood, lead and wood is sweet
Pillow, I'm using my refund to by the Attack Pack
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
08:55:24 AM
Pillow, I'm using my refund to buy the Attack Pack
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
08:55:30 AM
Favorite vegetable
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
08:57:15 AM
It has been said that the favorite vegetable of True, Ash & Gum is bacon. Their favorite fruit is...Reba. Mmmm peaches n cream.
do you guys remember Heaven's Gate?
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
08:57:21 AM
they had the applesause and the nike shoes and they were going to ride on the Hale bop comet. It was actually just a decoy created by Ash, 2true, and Burt.
From the book of Ash, verses 1-4
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
08:57:29 AM
and the voice of 2true spoke unto his lowly disciples Jarv, Kloipy, Pillows and Abom, and verily it was good.

The holy one speaketh, and ordered the disciples to spread the twin messages of ultimate manliness in the form of pencil stabbing and TB sabotage.

The Disciples toiled hard, and were observed by the twin deities Burt and Ash. They looked upon the work of the humble followers and decreed that it was good.

Although the followers were mocked by the TB ignorami, they proclaimed "verily, thou art all shitheels, and when the holy trinity calls you to judgement you shall be cast asunder and consumed by the bates"

And 2true was pleased.

My refund is going to build a shrine in my front yard..
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
08:57:47 AM
The divine symbol of a chainsaw, a moustache, and a #2 pencil, criss-crossed with Warwick holding it up to the sky. It's made out of the corpses of the non-believers.
don't forget Dame Dench, Abom
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
08:58:31 AM
she's also a creamy delight
Mother to all the believers Kloipy....
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
08:59:37 AM
I wonder if Michael Gross
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
09:01:07 AM
got him some Meredith Baxter-Birney back in the day. He wasn't Burt yet, but the essence of Gummer was surely there, devastating to all women. Frankly, I would have bent her over that isle counter in the Keaton kitchen and given her a how-do-you-do? But I think Meredith hit the wall. Or worse yet, the wall toppled on her. Meanwhile, MG went on to become Burt and his essence was magnified exponentially
1st Graboidian, chapter 2 verse 1-3
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
09:01:48 AM
And lo, did the earth tremor and shake with the great dawning of the graboid. The dirt did dance as if it were the all-knowing Warwick on St. Patricks day.

Yea though Burt walked through the valley of the shadow of Perfection, he did not fear

and 2true spoke and a rain of pencils did fall from the sky.

shit I gotta go to a meeting, I'll see you guys later
From the Book of Lep, Verses 29-32
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
09:01:56 AM
and lo, the followers of the one 2true religion were sorely tried and tested.

The devil came to them in the form of Paddington and speaketh thus "forsake your beliefs and worship me as your lord and master. In return, I shall furnish you with berries to eat and as many Lindsay Lohan clones as you may wish to bang"

But the prophet abom was not fooled "get thee to fuck, satan, we know that you are a pussy bear, and lohan looks like a 900 year old crack whore."

The disciples administered many a flaming leg kick to the head of satan. 2true, Ash and Burt looked on, and were mightily pleased.

Ignorami
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
09:02:46 AM
Jarv, I think I will print out those holy verses and pass them out in my office. I might even shave my head and rattle a tamborine
From the Necronomicon, verses 17-19
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
09:05:45 AM
and lo, the holy one Ash looked upon his followers and was mightily pleased at their TB antics and complete failure to work. He saw them put forth his message and saw that it was good.

He conferred with 2true and Burt and they decided to allow the loyal flock the ultimate artifacts. And o, the cherub warwick descended from heaven and furnished the loyal disciples with the holy pack attack and the sacred crock of gore.

And it was good.

Dame Dench is the Holy Mother
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
09:05:46 AM
few have known the strawberry cream cheese paradise that waits in her Garden of Eden
*sigh* this is fun
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
09:07:03 AM
I'm running a bit low on ideas. I'm going for a smoke to think up some new ones.
Goodie little two shoes, infidels, and such
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
09:08:02 AM
Thou shall scream "shitheels" to those who do not see the light, and will strike down those who do not see the wisdom that is our three mighty lords.

Pencils and chainsaws will be required companions on the journey to salvation for infidels, and their path to self-preservation will be "lead" by the devout.

This has, will, and shall always be the way of our lords 2for2true, Ash, and the Burt.

In the name of the FLAMING LEG KICK, Bear maulings, and the power of the Warwick, amen.

pillow
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
09:11:16 AM
oh yeah, almost forgot the blessed FLK. Perhaps that could be like a baptism. I think I shall construct a church. But on the outside, it will look like Walter Chang's general store.
Moustache, giving sugar, and pencil stabbings
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
09:13:13 AM
Power over the fair sex shall be granted by following the man stench of the divine. Thou loyal followers will grow the moustache to honor the power of the Burt.

Thou shall learnt the necessary phrases to entice the female sex with:

Give me some sugar baby

That's just what we call pillow talk baby

First you want to kill me, then you want to kiss me. Blow.

Thou shalt repeat those phrases on a daily basis.

Thou shalt wow the fairer sex with random pencil stabbings to show her the size of your pencil.

This as all be foretold.

we'll call it Echo base Abom
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
09:15:31 AM
The ion cannon will be in back next to the fridge.
and the blessed trinity looked down
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
09:17:11 AM
on their humble servant Jarv and ASh spoke unto him thus

"Verily my loyal servant, thou art truly hungover to thine back teeth. Hail to the king"

And jarv replied in his misery "Lord I am not fit to spread the gospel of manliness, please forgive your lowly servant"

And Burt spake unto him "Pull your shit together, it's a Guiness hangover. You've had them before"

The humble jarv felt comforted by their words of wisdom and swore to redouble his efforts.

The diet of a believer
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
09:17:37 AM
Shall consist primarily of MREs, and all ammunition utilized shall be utilized as each situation decress, eg full-bore vs belt-fed, and the domiciles of all believers shall have a subterranean concrete perimeter and fortified roof so as to dispel the wickedness and snares of the butt-launchers.
and the blessed virgin, Reba,
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
09:19:41 AM
was visited in the night by the Holy trinity.

They took turns pile driving her, and eventually she conceived the holy child that is yet to be born. It will be born when the seas turn to blood, and the sky turns to a strange shade of magenta. When this sacred time shall arise, the holy child shall be born, and he shall possess the power of ultimate manliness and seek vengeance against all shitheels and those that disavow the way of the pencil.

As it has been forseen so shall it happen.

Just a thank you...
by Mr. JLo
Feb 20th, 2008
09:19:53 AM
Went out and bought a nice bottle of red wine put out a few candles, called the girlfriend over and told her I had something really special to share with her. Put the movie in "Le Tremors" thinking I had all ready sealed the deal.

45 minutes later I found myself sleeping on my friends couch across town.

but the forces of crapness were not finished with the loya disci
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
09:21:28 AM
and visited them in the form of AvP:R.

But the disciples had nothing but scorn for this abomination, and they cursed it.

The forces of darkness retreated to try again.

Ha ha! Mr. J Lo
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
09:22:06 AM
Hopefully you were allowed to bring the DVD with you. Don't be dismayed; watch the series and learn from the ways of Gummer. Then employ your newfound Essence of Divine Manliness on your woman and she will be helpless
hehehehe
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
09:25:48 AM
unlucky, truly she was not ready to witness the divine magnificence of Burt vs Graboid.

Grow a better moustache.

No..
by Mr. JLo
Feb 20th, 2008
09:26:02 AM
I was lucky to get out with a change of clothes.

I should have known something was up when the video clerk started to giggle

Jarv
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
09:26:03 AM
the blessed virgin Reba verses are as immaculate as the virgin mother herself. When I email stalk her later today, I shall be sure to share the prophesy with her. And ask if she is freshly shorn, or sports a loathsome shrumbleweed. With this nugget of knowledge we might then commission an artiste of high caliber to paint her (nude) likeness on the ceiling of the Church of Chang.
and Madame Dench gets painted, too
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
09:28:15 AM
lest her visage be forgotten in the hallowed halls of Echo Base
we have a lost sheep in our midst...
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
09:28:51 AM
Pray to the Ash, the Burt, and 2for2true. Let them guide you down the path so that your faith will be restored. Your salvation is at hand JLo.
If that video clerk laughed
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
09:30:39 AM
surely he was smote on the way home or struck down by a wayward bus for his blasphemy of the Burt. And your partner was surely lonely without the company of your graboid burrowing through her alluvium.
very true abom
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
09:31:18 AM
It will be as if michalangelo knew what he was doing with the Sistine Chapel.

And JLo, you must smite that shitheel unbeliever for mocking the holy film. Smite him with a pencil in the mouth.

that Clerk
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
09:33:14 AM
is truly a shitheel infidel. And he and his loathsome kind shall be visted with immense pencil based pain.

Giggling is the very antithesis of the church of manliness.

with apologies to William Blake
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
09:41:48 AM
And did 2true In ancient times

Stride across the world unseen?

and was the holy moustache of burt

clipped to keep it nice and clean?

And did Ash's chainsaw hand,

Smite all deadites everywhere?

And was the survival bunker,

Stocked up with ammo, food and shit to wear?

Bring me my pencil of burning gold,

Bring me my chainsaw of fire

Bring me my chain fed machine gun

and upon graboids open fire

I shall not cease from violent fight

nor shall my #2 pencil sleep in my hand

Till we have purged all shitheels

From every single fucking land

Jarv
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
09:44:09 AM
I wept at the profundity of those verses. So true. Yet, while Burt's moustache is the pinnacle of male grooming, 2true cannot shave because nothing can cut his stubble. He has a perpetual 5 o clock shadow like steel wool
This morning my boss asked me
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
09:49:52 AM
why I was wearing an ammo vest, a Hawks cap, and field sunglasses. I told him, "When you need them and don't have them, you sing a different tune." He told me my write-up would be in my mailbox later. Douchebag
If I worked as hard in my job as I just did
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
09:50:35 AM
bastardising Blake then I think there is a fair chance that I could be a useful member of society.
he needs to be re-educated
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
09:51:49 AM
in the curch.

Or he faces damantion and eternal torment in the Belly of

he needs to be re-educated
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
09:51:57 AM
in the curch.

Or he faces damantion and eternal torment in the Belly of THE BATES

Woah, weird double post
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
09:52:58 AM
sorry. Computer fucked up.
And now, a gift from King Burt himself
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
09:55:23 AM
never be bored again. Not when you have behind-the-scenes early test videos of graboids

http://tinyurl.com/348kbd

Be sure to read the Emergency Briefing
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
09:57:58 AM
it was all I could do to not jerk off to it
shite. Work's blocking the linki
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
10:01:11 AM
what a load of bollocks.

Verily work sucketh like a dyson.

just do a google search
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
10:03:07 AM
for Stampede Entertainment
had to use "quota time"
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
10:11:30 AM
what a crock.

But well worth it.

The Emergency briefing was genius
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
10:13:37 AM
I laughed for ages
When the briefing stopped
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
10:16:41 AM
and took you to the Tremors 3 official site, I finished down my pantleg.
when the briefing stopped
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
10:18:01 AM
I humbly thanked the holy trinity and shed a little tear.
no tears are to be shed in the name of the holy trinity
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
10:22:55 AM
Only mocking laughter at the sheep who do not "see" the all-mightiness of them.
In other news, briefly
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
10:23:58 AM
I saw that the space shuttle Atlantis returned safely to earth. Which means, IT DID NOT BLOW UP.

This TB started three days ago. It was supposed to be about Indy, but most of it is Tremors-related. Sorry, Mori! You can be an honorary priest in the Church of Chang.

I was able to fend of the hounds at my meeting
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
10:31:39 AM
by giving them the ol' Burt glance of death
for the communion
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
10:34:53 AM
you first take a bite of beef jerky, for the Gross
then you inhale wood shavings off of a pencil for 2true
Then you ingest boiling hot water to kill the mini-ashes
Lastly you swallow a four-leaf clover to ward off Warwick's wrath
this is all followed by a baptism by fire, with a tony jaa FLK
But kloipy
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
10:37:20 AM
were there any pencil fatalities?
abom
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
10:38:30 AM
I dumped a barrel full of pencils out of the 6th story window, and yelled to all the people to look up. As they gazed skyward, mouths agape, they knew the pain of a mouth stab
Lordy...
by DocPazuzu
Feb 20th, 2008
10:41:23 AM
...it sure is a fine thing to see all this Burt Gummer love. Another movie great becomes enshrined in AICN talkback lore forever.

Can Ace Hunter be far behind?

now I must go for a time
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
10:41:38 AM
i need to reflect and to pray. I shall return, enlightened
DocPazu
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
10:50:55 AM
I was showing love for Ace yesterday right here, surmising that the only reason Tremors 5 isn't being shot right now is possibly because they got Barry Bostwick on the set for MegaForce 2: Ace Hunter Begins--Deeds Not Words. There are few in the world more manly than Ace, a true action hero. But Ash, Ward, Burt, and 2true are some of the few who do in fact have more midichlorians than Ace Hunter. So says the Church of Chang (kisses thumb, holds it out, hits "post talkback" button)
I would wear a purple pastel headband
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
10:52:28 AM
in my office, to be more like Ace, if only it didn't clash with my Atlanta Hawks hat and ammo vest.
out of here guys
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
11:07:39 AM
I will sacrifice a whole six pack to the true gods.

our father's Burt, Ash and 2true be thine names....

OMG look at this
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
11:17:52 AM
onion.com

CGI creates realistic-looking Oscar for Michael Bay

wow. Funny
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
11:25:34 AM
Kloipy did you have to listen to any mamagement wankspeak?

you are well within your rights to say "I just came to chew some bubblegum and kick some ass, and I'm all out of bubblegum" and then ay waste to the meeting with full automatic weaponry

Just as I posted that onion link
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
11:34:58 AM
about Michael Bay, they add a new TB about a self-deprecating Michael Bay commercial. Clearly, Lord Trueburt Ashgum was speaking to me in ways I could not possibly comprehend. Thank you, my king! (prostrates self)
mamagement wankspeak
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
11:35:03 AM
yes, unfortunatly I had to sit through a billing meeting with one of the major phone companies and they love that bullshit. They didn't like it when I whipped out my Burt Gummer outfit and asked them if it was warm with their heads up their asses
Lord Trueburt Ashgum
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
11:37:12 AM
and his 12 Warciples
I like Warciples
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
11:41:49 AM
You should demand money whenever it gets used. Which means I owe you a quarter. I have a meeting in an hour. Oh yes, there will be pencils.
There Will Be Burt
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
11:43:53 AM
starring Michael "Reba-squeezin'" Gross. It's about a man's quest for Jerky. It opens on a 20 minute silent shot of Burt trimming his mustache in the nude
that scene is unfilmable
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
11:49:50 AM
seriously, no camera ever made can film such awesomeness.
Did Merrick post that commercial link?
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
11:50:46 AM
He's a pointless individual. All he does is link to youtube.
The sainted Reba's divine child shall be called
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
11:51:39 AM
2Ash2Burt.

It will be our salvation.

"Oh yes, there will be pencils."
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
11:52:45 AM
That is officially the best use ever of a quote from Saw.

I'm surprised that there was any use at all for anything from Saw.

That child shall be The One
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
11:53:43 AM
Or should we say, The Two.

I wonder if Reba knows that the afterlife of all humanity and the fate of all creation rests in her womb.

I know people who are scared by Saw
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
11:54:14 AM
and they also claim that horror is their favorite genre. I stab them in the mouth
I'm sure she does
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
11:56:13 AM
2true will have told her.

And she knows Burt well.

nobody is scared of Saw
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
11:56:54 AM
anyone that says they are is lying.

A dreadful film.

the baby will bust from her stomach like a graboid
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
11:57:25 AM
it will come out with a full mustache
bored, sickened, depressed,
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
11:58:00 AM
but never scared.

This has really got to me.

Shitheels are not fit to witness the glory of Evil Dead, or the magnificence of Tremors.

They can all fuck off.

yeah Jarv, my sister and brother in law
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
11:58:18 AM
told me that they got scared by The Hitcher remake. I died a little
I watched They Live again the other day
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
11:59:07 AM
and would like to make a case for Roddy Piper as some form of divine messenger.

He kicks some alien ass in that film.

Jarv
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
11:59:27 AM
I thought that "There Will Be Blood" was like, the next Saw movie. But then I read about how it's actually a good film starring Daniel Day Lewis. But yeah, whenever I hear that phrase I think of Saw. Burt forgive me.

Oh, I forgot to mention I visited Reba's site (reba.com) and I couldn't find an email address to tell her she holds salvation in her vagina, so she better trim up down there.

Burt Gummer's penis
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
11:59:42 AM
is so long and has such girth that the head has two eyes and a mustache and he carries an Ak-47 between his balls
I refuse to acknowledge the existence of the Hitcher remake
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
12:00:12 PM
I have got the Wicker Man remake queued (even though that is an abomination)
They Live
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
12:00:19 PM
is fucking classic. I love that movie
Wickerman remake is just comedic gold though
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
12:00:59 PM
it's worth a few viewing, mostly while under the influence
It is the strap line of Saw 2
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
12:01:55 PM
and the title of some oscar bait.

I wonder who first said it, because those fucking monkeys that wrote saw did not have a single original idea.

Baby True
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
12:02:48 PM
will be born with not only a full stache, but an erection that will likely kill his mother on the way out. It really is a shame Reba won't provide an email. How are we supposed to know she's a celebrated person, for none of the reasons she thinks she is, but rather because she is the mother of tomorrow for all humanity? That's a heavy load, but not as heavy as Burt's.
so Roddy Piper=
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
12:02:55 PM
Divine Messenger/ teacher in the ways of asskicking?
Baby true
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
12:04:06 PM
will have full stache, erection and will enter the world holding an AK-47 in one hand, a chainsaw in the other and a pack of HB pencils in the crack of his ass.

Then the armageddon starts

Roddy Piper = The Burning Bush
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
12:04:28 PM
he's on a mission from God
Kloipy
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
12:04:32 PM
Yeah, Burt Gummer's penis is like a graboid tentacle. It has been known to eat children and cause traffic accidents.
Baby true
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
12:05:13 PM
and out of his erection will shoot mini warwicks
If he isn't careful when he gets out of bed in the morning
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
12:06:00 PM
He can become the Human tripod. This can be a bit inconvenient, so he smokes a cigar while he waits for his morning glory to subside.
We're creating a whole mythology here
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
12:07:11 PM
500 years ago we'd have been burnt at the stake.

Except we wouldn't have, because we wouldn't have done this. The internet didn't exist then.

You know, it's our responsiblity
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
12:07:25 PM
to be Kyle Reese Warciples if the powers of evil send back a killer from the future to harm Reba and thus thwart the birth of humanity's final salvation. Like, an evil Bizzaro Burt cyborg. I better sharpen some pencils and wire some C4 to these radio controlled trucks.
ciao guys
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
12:08:09 PM
keep the faith,
Burt's penile powers
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
12:08:18 PM
It is so long and so powerful that Burt is able to travel underneath the sea and his penis has it's own lung system so it can be used like a snorkle
"Kyle Reese Warciples"
by Lost Jarv
Feb 20th, 2008
12:08:48 PM
I'm going to work that into the next gospel bit I write.
see ya Jarv
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
12:09:13 PM
have a good night my friend!
abom
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
12:10:33 PM
I'm going to check tonight to see if Reba has a Myspace page, if so I will send her picture after picture of Burt and ask her many a question
I have emailed
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
12:13:09 PM
Stampede-Entertainment and informed them that we have created a theology around their so-called character "Burt Gummer," who we know of course is not only a real person, but a portal of human salvation. I have advised them that we are awaiting our free Attack Packs in the mail. On top of the 17 packs I ordered this morning.
abom that is fucking amazing man
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
12:16:01 PM
I hope they respond and an Attack Pack materializes in front of my cubicle
Later Jarv
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
12:17:58 PM
True be with you. Always.
I'll let you know if they respond
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
12:23:18 PM
I gave a link to this TB and told them which monikers to look for. Then I suggested that probably every Tremor DVD they sold this week could be attributed to us. Which makes me happy for them, and I told them so, but their profits are insignificant when you consider that the fate of the universe hangs in the balance and only Burt Gummer, acting in conjunction with Ash and 2true and possibly one or two others, can hope to do anything about it, and can we please have some free stickers or something?
that's hilarious!
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
12:24:40 PM
I hope to recieve some penance for our fellowship. It's time to reap
spread the knowledge brother Abom!
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
12:41:53 PM
The holy trinity should have been part of NBC's "the more you know" crap they used to air.
The More You Know
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
12:44:12 PM
Hi, I'm Steve Guttenburg. Did you know that not only did Burt Gummer kill every kind of graboid monster, but he was also eaten by one? The more you know, the better you are at kicking ass.
The more you know!
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
12:47:01 PM
Burt Gummers taint is recognized as it's own independant state! The more you know!
The More You Know
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
12:47:30 PM
Hi, I'm Tom Cruise. I've discovered through AICN hi-jacked threads that I've been a complete tool and have been "cleansed" of my misguided beliefs by lopping off my hand at the wrist. I now carry a sawed off shotgun and have attached a chainsaw to where my hand was.

The more you know, the better you are at killing the undead.

The More you Know!
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
12:48:31 PM
Hi, I'm Rita Pearlman. Did you know that Burt Gummer emits a gel from his skin that can be used as a salve for burn victims?
The More You Know
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
12:49:43 PM
Warwick Davis' cock can shoot rainbow colors and cure alzheimer's disease with one stroke. The more you know.
The More you Know!
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
12:51:22 PM
Hi, I'm Sonny Bono's corpse. Did you know that the excess wood that has broken off from pencils being stabbed into mouths from 2True are used to start rainforests?

The more you know, the mo....ohmhhhmyyyyygooodddddmyy yyymouuuutttthhhh
The More You Know
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
12:51:41 PM
Hi, I'm Tom Selleck. Every fourteen seconds a Kyle Reese 'Warciple' slaughters a zombie from the future who might have caused harm to the mother of our salvation on this planet. Known as the Church of Chang, these devoted warriors follow the way of Lord Trueburt Ashgum and baptize the undead with chain guns. The more you know, the less ignorant you are.

I'm off to my meeting in (checks cesium watch, like Burt would) T-minus eight minutes and 32 seconds.

The More you Know!
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
12:52:52 PM
Hi, I'm Ted Danson. Did you know the crumbs that escape the gaping maw of The Bates have been used to feed the entire world?
The More You Know
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
12:54:14 PM
Hi, I'm Ted Danson. The other guy from "Three Men and a Baby." Did you know that in the small town of Perfection, Nevada (22 miles SE of Bixby) Burt Gummer still maintains a fortified bunker filled with enough MREs in a safe room to keep three people alive for nine years? The more you know, the better you can bring the pain.
The More You Know
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
12:54:55 PM
Hi, I'm George Wendt and I've been dead for 15 years, but with a FLAMING LEG KICK from the disciple Tony Jaa, I have x-ray vision and can fly. The more you know.
Holy shit, you beat me to Ted Danson!
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
12:54:58 PM
Burt must have decreed it to happen.
sucks you got a meeting Abom
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
12:55:58 PM
this is too much gold for you to miss
The More You Know
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
12:56:56 PM
Hi, I'm George W. Bush, and I...aaaaaaiiiiiiiiii!!!! 2for2true materializes and stabs Bush 345 times in a matter of seconds...and then poof!..He's gone.

The less you hear from George W., the more you know.

Pillow
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
12:57:12 PM
that George Wendt shit killed me man, fucking awesome stuff
You read my mind Abom!
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
12:57:52 PM
Ted Danson cannot be forgotten
The More You Know
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
12:58:54 PM
Hi, I'm Barbara Streisand. Ash cut off my head with his chainsaw and since they I've been functioning in society as a "true" believer. The more you know.
The More you Know!
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
12:59:37 PM
Hi, I'm the re-animated corpse of Taft. Did you that the grease secreted from The Bates netherworld could be used to power all the cars of the world with only 1 quart?
The more you know, the more you want to vomit.
The More You Know
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
01:01:44 PM
Hi, I'm John Wayne. I was consumed by The Bates in a night of passion gone wrong, but Burt pulled me out through The Bates' vagina with his mustache. I know work in a pencil factory doing my part to fight infidels. The more you know.
The More You Know
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
01:03:22 PM
Hi, I'm Coolio. Did you know that Warwick has lived up my ass for 16 years and that we actually film Lep in the Hood there as well? The more you know.
The More you Know!
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
01:04:04 PM
Hi, I'm Paula Poundstone's non-existant vagina. Did you know that Burt Gummer was the cause and the solution to the dinosaurs? The more you know
The More you Know!
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
01:05:22 PM
Word up, this is Post Master-P. Did you that there is no sun. The light we see is just the half-life from the first Tony Jaa FLK that started the universe and life as we know it
The More You Know
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
01:06:18 PM
Hi, I'm Jesse Jackson. It's important to read to the children, so make sure you read them the right books. The Book of the Dead is available now in paperback at all Holy Trinity churches. The children are our future... The more you know.
The More You Know
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
01:07:52 PM
Hi, this is the voice inside your head telling you to stab your co-worker in the mouth with that #2 pencil. Give in to your feelings. 2for2true will smile upon you for all of eternity. The more you know.
The More you Know!
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
01:08:50 PM
Hi, I'm international porn star/preacher John Bobbit. Did you know that for every deadite that Ash kills a puppy is saved from drowning?
Pillow, I'm showing my friend the powers of
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
01:09:53 PM
The Protector this weekend. All I had to say was "they throw a baby elephant in it" and he wanted to see it
The More You Know
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
01:10:11 PM
Hi, this is Mike Wallace. Did you know that we all exist within Burt's mustache? Dinosaurs were wiped out by a simple sneeze. Buckle up world. The more you know.
The More you Know!
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
01:12:19 PM
Hi, I'm Rosanne Barr's inverted nipple. Did you know that Warwick Davis has the ability turn shit into gold? He was the inspiration for the movie The Holy Mountain.
The More you Know!
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
01:15:52 PM
Hi, I'm a vein on Rod Roddy's dick. Did you know that Burt Gummer is so masculene that he can produce testicles on his arms and yet so gentle that he can walk on clouds?
yay! way to convert more people Kloipy!
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
01:25:48 PM
The world must be showed the way of broken arms and legs.

I had to preach Army of Darkness back in college to my sister's college friends.

The More You Know
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
01:28:21 PM
Hi, I'm just pillow talk. Did you know that an auditor was looking for some answers about account movements? I told him the answers are not in our financial statements, but through the musings of Ash. I then lopped off both of his hands with two paper clips and anticipate no further questions. The more you know.
Tony Jaa and the Evil dead series
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
01:29:01 PM
My wife hated the 30 second clip I showed her from Ong Bak, she did not like that it kept showing a move 4 times in a row. As for Evil Dead, when I used to work at a video store, I was aloud to start and employee favorites section and that was on my wall each and every week
allowed not aloud
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
01:30:06 PM
The More You Know
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
01:32:46 PM
Hi, I'm Charlton Heston. Did you know that damn dirty apes exist in Warwick's left testicle and when he takes a piss children all over the world eat their lima beans?
The More you Know!
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
01:33:47 PM
Hi, I'm Sarah Jessica Parker's adam's apple. Did you know that Burt Gummer fought off an entire army of ass-blasters with nothing more than a paperclip and some spearimint gum?
The More you Know!
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
01:35:30 PM
Hi, I'm Wil Wheaton's doe-eyes. Did you know that Warwick Davis once baked himself into a pie, then sent it via the pony express to himself 45 years in the future?
The More You Know
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
01:37:30 PM
Hi, I'm Walter Cronkite. Did you know that I never existed and was all a figment of 2for2true's imagination? His imagination makes the real world seem like a dream. And light bulbs glow. The more you know.
LOL...that was a good one Kloipy
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
01:38:56 PM
Baked himself into a pie. He was the pie in American Pie. "never done it with baked goods..."
The More you Know!
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
01:40:49 PM
Hi, I'm a half digested piece of pizza Maury Povich once ate. Did you know that 2for2true literally wrote the dictionary. It was edited by idiots though. Each word used just be a different way to say "shitheel"
The More You Know
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
01:41:05 PM
Hi, I'm what's left of Wesley Snipe's finances. Did you know that the FLAMING LEG KICK can cook every single whopper in the whole world at once? Who's really the fucking king here? The more you know.
The More You Know
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
01:43:54 PM
Hi, I'm Kate Beckinsdale. When I'm not getting shagged by pillow talk, I'm preaching the word shitheel to the world. Did you know that if you said shitheel 1,492 times fast, you could bend steel with your mind and cook chicken nuggets on your cock? The more you know.
The More You Know
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
01:45:58 PM
Hi, I'm the smell that permeates the NY subway. Did you know that Burt can juggle all the planets with his mustache while taking a dump? The more you know.
The More you Know!
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
01:46:22 PM
Hi, I'm Courtney Love's fluid sacs. Did you know that if you are ever lost in the desert and you come across an oasis, if you knock on the ground three times with a palm leaf, Warwick Davis will magically appear inside a coconut and give you a Fanta to drink.
Pillow
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
01:47:24 PM
pulling someone out of Bate's vagina with Burt's stache was the best!

My meeting sucked, except for the five corpses with pencils sticking out of their skulls. I even nailed one with the eraser side, and the force was enough to trepanate their skull. Oh, and at the meeting I pointed out which female employees I thought had nice asses. I said it was part of my new campaign for openness and honesty. In fact, one of my fellow supervisors, I went right over to her and said, "You have a gorgeous ass. I can't get enough of looking at it." My boss didn't take kindly to my contribution. He was one of the five.

The More You Know
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
01:50:25 PM
Hiya. I'm Wilford Brimley's second chin. Did you know that every time you eat a bowl of delicious Quaker Oats, you sprout another ball hair? Well, Ash did. And so did Burt Gummer, I tell you. All them manly ballhairs had to come from somewheres, I tell you. And as soon as I take my diabee-tus medication, I'm going to have me another bowl of zombie-killin' Quaker Oats. Because the more you know, the more you know that nutrition CAN be delicious, when you're kicking undead ass.
Abom...
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
01:50:47 PM
That's the problem with companies today...they're not "forward" (in this case, rear) thinking.

Our auditing firm is running out of auditors. I took out two more with a printer cartridge and a 3 ring binder.

thanks for the Wilford love, Abom
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
01:52:20 PM
Can't forget Master Oats
The More You Know
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
01:54:43 PM
Hello. I'm Dame Judy Dench's clitoris. And when I'm not busy being licked by James Bond or worshipped by The Kyle Reese Warciples of the Church of Chang, I send money to Stampede Entertainment, the makers of the wonderful 'Tremors' series. I already own a box sex myself, which I store in Dame Dench's labial folds. But I continue to send a monthly check to thank them for their ongoing contribution to the arts. Because the more you know, the more you can create the culture. Of killing giant subterranean alluvial worms, or zombies.
The More You Know
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
01:55:29 PM
Hi, I'm the crusty bottom of your company's bathroom floor. Did you know that if Warwick Davis, Burt Gummer, Ash, 2for2true, and Tony Jaa were in the same room together that the universe would turn to jello and Bill Cosby would be everyone's father? The more you know.
The More You Know
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
02:00:25 PM
Hi, I'm Leonard Nimoy. Did you know that Patricia Heaton can solve geometric problems with her left nipple? The more you know.
The More You Know
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
02:03:30 PM
Hi there. I'm the piece of corn you said you wanted to eat out of Jessica Beil's stool. Well, now's your big chance. And if you care anything about Reba's wellbeing and the Order of the Universe, you'll do well to just swallow me whole, partner. Because Baby True is waiting to brought over to this plane of existence, with his uzi and twin .50 calibers, and there's plenty of shriekers and assblasters and undead, trouble-causing motherfuckers waiting to be plowed down in the name of all that is holy.
The More You Know
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
02:07:25 PM
Hi, it's me. Glovedone. Did you know that before I put my foot in my mouth on a TB and slammed the soul of young, fresh-dead actor, I saw the movie Tremors? It's true. But little did I know that Burt Gummer is more than just a character in a film. He is an icon of burly testosterone, a walking temple of military midichlorians, and a pillar of strength against the evil might of assblasters. And he is also the father of the soon-to-be saviour of the universe, by virtue of his having repeatedly shoved his erect salami into Reba's seafood pantry.
The More you Know!
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
02:09:22 PM
Hi, I'm Salma Hayeks boobs. THAT IS ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW
proof that God exists and he loves us all very much
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
02:17:12 PM
http://www.flickr.com/photos/m ystarhill/2225004539/
The More You Know
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
02:18:40 PM
Hi, I'm Anne Hesche's rubber penis. And since Ellen Degeneres is done strapping me on and shoving me up where Anne goes poop, I find new employment here, as your greeter at the First United Scatalogical Church of Chan. Please, come in and open your mind to the possibility of new life as a Warciple of Gummer and a slayer of those who have already known death. Please leave your $50 processing check at the office of the bursar, and you shall receive your complimentary Graboids Rule! bumper sticker.
kloipy
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
02:19:50 PM
Good thing I wasn't drinking my coffee when I checked that out--my monitor would have been wearing it
I know Abom
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
02:21:10 PM
I mean, she should change her name to 'Holy Shit' cause that's all you can say when you see her
no Kloipy, that's proof that 2for2true exists
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
02:21:11 PM
I would love to motor boat those...
re:Salma
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
02:23:24 PM
2true came up with the blueprints
Burt shaped her breasts with the white cliffs of Dover
Ash called forth the spirits to bring her down to earth
Warwick whispered the code of life into her ears
and Tony Jaa kicked the fire into her eyes
The More You Know
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
02:24:44 PM
Hi, I'm Rosie O'Donnell. Did you know that Burt has been chained me up in his safe room "educating" me on my infidel ways? His mustache has gouged my infidel eyes out, while Tony Jaa has smacked the shit out of me with my own right fibula? The more you know.
Or her name could be Mercy Jesus
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
02:25:42 PM
Thems are some juggins, milk me momma. Pillow, I'll send her over when she's done cleaning the mildew out of my bathtub and has pledged her complete devotion to Burt, bears, Warwick, 2true, wolves, Ash, Fred Ward, Roy Scheider, No. 2 pencils, Hal9000 and Drone 3 from Silent Running. Oh, and after I've shot my wad
fuck...thinking about Salma's yum-yums...
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
02:25:46 PM
"Burt has me chained up in his safe room...."
I've been praying to my newly purchased statue
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
02:27:07 PM
of the divine trinity in anticipation of Salma's arrival. That, and I have a pile of dirty dishes for her to clean. And my pole needs to be stroked.
A riddle for true believers
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
02:29:12 PM
Q: Apart from Burt's massive blood-engorged graboid, name the most sacred thing to ever touch Reba's sweet strawberry squid?

A: Burt's moustache.

When Arnold is crucified onto the tree of woe
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
02:31:28 PM
That was really Burt's mustache.
Just a suggestion, pillow
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
02:32:33 PM
She could practice pole-vaulting over your graboid, then sick your shrieker on her. You know, it only makes sense to indoctrinate Salma as part of our new religion, seeing as how she played an undead vampire queen in Dusk to Dawn. Only in our religion she is an icon of goodness, like Reba or Dench, and she'll be painted on the ceiling of Chang's Grocery, where we shall have hired mexican teens handing out shoes and jeans to new recruits with the secret induction words, "Here, Rhonda."
The More You Know
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
02:38:24 PM
Hello, I'm the smell of lilacs eminating from Salma Hayek's cornshooter. Did you know that in Tremors 3, the graboid that crashed into Burt's concrete bunker died not from blunt force trauma, but because Burt choked it from the inside out WITH HIS DICK.
The More you Know!
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
02:39:59 PM
Hi mon, I'm Doug E. Fresh, star of Cool Runnings. Did you know that a drop of milk from Salma's nipple can cure any disease known to man. The ancients called it Ambrose: honey of the Angels
I don't know which is worse
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
02:43:06 PM
That YOU knew to reference Cool Runnings, or that I recognized the title and the abject failure associated with it, and thus saw the humor in it, when I read the name. Ah well, I guess I should pray harder to Gummer tonight, and keep sleeping in my ammo vest.

Quick, someone reference Cuba Gooding!

The More You Know
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
02:45:42 PM
Hi, I'm a ham sandwich from 1978 that Karen Carpenter failed to eat. And I'm here to tell you that bullets and chainsaws will be the holy water in the Next War to Save the Future. So stock up now
The More you know!
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
02:46:31 PM
Hi, I'm Cuba Gooding Jr., star of Disney's 'Snow Dogs'. Did you know that the Easter Island statues are based on early sketches of Burt Gummer and 2for2true? And that Warwicks seed is also called "Royal Jelly"?
thanks Abom...
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
02:51:30 PM
As required by our teachings, I've already painted a picture of Salma on my office's ceiling. It seems this is against company policy and qualifies as destruction of company property.

I'm also thinking that my wife will frown upon Salma being painted in all of our home's ceilings. Women. Can't live with them, pass the beer nuts.

The More you know!
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
02:51:36 PM
Hi, I'm Play, you might remember me from such hit movies as House Party 1 and House Party 2:bringing down the house part 2. Did you know that BUrt Gummer went back in time, to the beginning of his lineage and had sex with his ancestors, therefore his is the father and the sons and daughters of each of his people
The More You Know
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
02:53:59 PM
Hi, I'm a snow dog who became very 'friendly' with Cuba Gooding Jr. Did you know that Salma's hotness burns hotter than a FLAMING LEG KICK?
Warwick's wang is also called his "jelly stick"
by just pillow talk
Feb 20th, 2008
02:57:27 PM
Later boys, off to class. There's a 50/50 chance I stick a pencil in one of my group member's mouth. Closer to 100% I stand up in the middle of class and scream "SHITHEEL" and propose that the class meditate to Burt and Ash while reciting "Burt's mustache is the spice to Ash's mechanical hand's sugar".
The More You Know
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
03:06:53 PM
Hey there, it's me--Julius Green. I played ShoNuff in Barry Gordy's "The Last Dragon" back in 1985 and kicked Taimak's ass when he tried to show "the glow." But now I'm here to say that now YOU can own these fine commemorative Church of Chang postcards, each depicting an icon of the One True Scatalogical religion. Now YOU TOO can have a collectable print of Salma Hayek's naked glory, as depicted on the ceiling at pillow's house. Just put on these sneakers and jeans, disavow all wimpy things in your life, and recognize that Warwick Davis once played a trophy on a mantel in a movie, and did so brilliantly.
see ya Pillow
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
03:11:18 PM
we are almost at 1000 guys
Enjoy class, convert the nonbelievers
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
03:15:26 PM
with lethal pencil stabbings to the jaw, clavical and pancreas.
I'd like to dedicate this TB
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
03:18:24 PM
to the four of us. Burt Gummer and his amazing penis + mustache. 2true and his stabbings. Ash, and his witty one-liners. Warwick as a dust mite. Tony Jaa's flaming leg kicks. and last but not least. Salma Hayek's wonderful breasts
1001th post?
by Proman1984
Feb 20th, 2008
03:19:39 PM
Can't wait for the movie.
I'm with you on that
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
03:21:36 PM
Did you know that Burt once put out a fire at an orphanage by climbing the spire and urinating on it? It's true. And when he pee was still gone, but some flames still raged, he masturbated on it. Which demolished the structure, but the fire was out.
Proman1984
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
03:23:57 PM
Tremors 5? Don't worry--kloipy is hashing out the script right now, and I'm making graboid costumes for my kids and waiting for response emails from Fred Ward, Reba, and Stampede Entertainment. Response or no, we've given ourselves a green light and Tremors 5 will be a reality. Followed closely by Megaforce 2: Ace Hunter Begins.
Tremors 5
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
03:26:24 PM
I'm having trouble with the characters, in the fact that 2true doesn't show up on film and it's hard to write a character other than Burt Gummer. And Warwicks people are telling me he is currently in orbit around saturn. However Michael Gross has agreed to be in the film and any sequels to come.
Because the energy that is 2true
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
03:35:43 PM
is ultraviolet, maybe Burt can help us out by wearing a 2true T shirt, or having 2for2true on his license plate. Or maybe he can invent a new gun called a 2for2 truzi. I am negotiating with Ms. October "Kate" 1974 and Dr. Rhonda to return for a lesbian sequence.
Point of View
by DocMHumphrey
Feb 20th, 2008
03:37:58 PM
I can agree about censorship Mori and I think the MPAA are overzealous, but at the same time we have to look at situations out of the box.

For example, I like to look at most of us here as hardened veterens of film, whereas not everyone views things in the same way.

Guns, killing, weapons, etc are the lifeblood of most of the population on this site and the thought of pulling gore out of a film is as offensive as it is to those who think that too much violence is gratuitous. I know, I know all of you would call that "pussy" or someother random Family Guy slung together insult. I remember when "Saving Private Ryan" was out and I wanted to see it with my father (who served in WWII) who was very Clint Eastwood-esque up until his death. He told me that he found the violence in the previews was unnecessary for him, because he lived it and didn't want to see it on any screen.

At one point in time, I actually worked for Disney at the MuppetShow, in which a mother once asked me, "There were guns in the show. I don't show my children programs with guns or violence and it upset them.", she then asked for the guns to be removed from the film. Now that, my friends, maybe a case of extreme parenting and a crippling of a child that once exposed to the nature of the world will crack. Just like Chevy Chase and Dan Ackroyd in "Spies Like Us", this kid gets a combat rating of PUSSY.

Like many others on this website, I grew up watching Starksy & Hutch, Star Trek, Raiders, Jaws (shit we were afraid of the swimming pool after this), Alien (again, afraid of our basement), Star Wars, First Blood, etc...all violent films of the past, which at that time in the late seventies and eighties was acceptable. I have played every videogame system from the arcade and Commodore 64 till present, and to this day have not commited a random act of violence toward ANYONE, nor have any of my brothers, or any of my friends who grew up liking the same programming, movies, or videogames.

Today's society and media place blame on everything because they want an answer. We are more connected then we ever have been and we want to know the truth! As Big Jack said, we can't handle it. The truth is, in fact, is that SHIT HAPPENS. I worked countless hours in an ER to see many people die for no reason, no matter what we did to help them. When I was in college, a student shot one of the professors dead in class. I was in the same building. Police were there within minutes. Classes were postponed for a day. No big media frenzy, just a side note on the evening news. It was a year before Columbine (http://www.media.wayne.edu/19 98/12/11/suspect-surrenders-in -campus-shooting-president-exp resses-grief-for-university-co mmunity). Where was Michael Moore then? Hell it wasn't even included in his documentary and it fucking happenned in Michigan. Money whore.

My point is this, when what we see is dictated, you can take it at face value (we got an Indy trailer, yay!), we can plead that our Point of View is violated by MPAA (Which in fact is trying not to be biased, because as Americans all of us, including War Veterens, Pussy breeding parents, and hard-core movie lovers, have the right not to be offended; after all, that is the MPAA's purpose), or we can sit back and own up to the fact that as adults, we can understand that censorship has a place balance in society.
Warwick is slated to play every set and prop
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
03:38:46 PM
in the film as well as having a long speaking role as Burt's little buddy
In the introduction scene
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
03:44:43 PM
where Warwick's character meets Gummer, he says "So you're the famous graboid-hunter? Hmph. I thought you'd be taller."

Burt just stares at him, then asks if his mother knows he's out so late.

Burt saves Warwick from a Shrieker
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
03:48:40 PM
just in the nic of time.

Warwick: THat was close!

Burt: Yeah, a 'little' too close!
I'm gone for the day-
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
03:50:45 PM
I'll see you later Abom!
one last thing before I go
by Kloipy
Feb 20th, 2008
03:51:49 PM
in Tremors 5, there will be a hardcore sex scene with Burt, Warwick, and Reba. Burt and Warwick will double team her while she eats a piece of rhubarb pie.
Later kloips
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 20th, 2008
03:54:09 PM
Holy shit, we've been doing this all day! We're heroes, and Burt is proud.

I'll help write the lesbian scene with Drs. Kate and Rhonda. Because I want it to be really tasteful and elegant and sensuous, with lots of hot melted butter.

i wish someone would upload this shite to YouTube
by finky089
Feb 20th, 2008
05:33:15 PM
so I could actually watch it

Goddamn

Why is Indy coming out on a Thursday, anyway??
by finky089
Feb 20th, 2008
05:35:54 PM
If it came out Wed, I could still see it at midnight Tuesday and not have to miss it because of my own wedding.

Yes, I said my OWN wedding.

"Warwick Davis once baked himself into a pie"
by finky089
Feb 20th, 2008
05:54:59 PM
That one had me laughing out loud, guys. As did many of your other ones. Best non-Indy talk inan Indy Talkback I've seen in a long while.
And DOUBLE kudos to Kloipy for that amazing picture
by finky089
Feb 20th, 2008
05:59:16 PM
that proves God does exists and loves most of us (but not anyone with a handle that states with "glove", "braff", "2", or "memories".)
Salma's Hayeks HERE
by finky089
Feb 20th, 2008
06:14:09 PM
for you guys:

http://tinyurl.com/yrplzv

and this

http://tinyurl.com/2vedfg

Indy 4 will be AWESOME
by Proman1984
Feb 20th, 2008
06:56:42 PM
OH YEAH!
hmm I want to see it but...
by disfigurehead
Feb 21st, 2008
12:55:09 AM
Look at Spielburg's and Lucas' track records over the last decade. SS has his oscar so he does not even care. GL has absolutely no street cred any more. I can't wait to see it but I am going in with low expectations.
INDY FOUR WILL OWN YOUR RETINAS
by skywalkerfamily
Feb 21st, 2008
01:42:36 AM
AND TAKE YOUR LUNCH MONEY!!!!
Indy on Blu-ray!!!
by wadi77
Feb 21st, 2008
02:30:41 AM
http://www.hollywoodreporter.c om/hr/content_display/news/e3i c60f3f2e7077b9b8dc969933f25fc6 01

All six major Hollywood studios are now in the Blu-ray Disc camp, a day after Toshiba has pulled the plug on HD DVD and Blu-ray became effectively the only next-gen game in town.

Paramount Home Entertainment quietly came onboard via a statement sent exclusively to The Hollywood Reporter on Wednesday: "We are pleased that the industry is moving to a single high-definition format, as we believe it is in the best interest of the consumer," the statement reads. "As we look to (begin) releasing our titles on Blu-ray, we will monitor consumer adoption and determine our release plans accordingly."

outstanding work guys
by Lost Jarv
Feb 21st, 2008
02:37:40 AM
absolutey brilliant. I've been laughing all morning.
and the lord Burt spake thus unto the lowly Jarv
by Lost Jarv
Feb 21st, 2008
02:49:22 AM
"Thou must fix thine internet connection at home, as thou has been most lax in spreading the holy word outside of office hours"

And Jarv was humbed by the words of the almighty and said "messiah, it is not my fault, I am but a lowly warciple. It is the fault of the great Satan, British Telecom, who are proving to be a complete group of fucknuts and are refusing to come and fix my phone and broadband"

and 2true heard the prayer of the humble Jarv and screameth "shitheels" and proceeded to lay waste to all of BT with his pencil of total destruction.

And all was again good.

And the Prophet Abom was not happy
by Lost Jarv
Feb 21st, 2008
02:53:18 AM
"Shitheels, I must attend many a pointless meeting full of middle management tossers, when this time could be better employed spreading the holy word"

And the holy trinity heard his lament, and took pity on the Prophet. 2true sent the divine messengers Warwick Roddy Piper and Tony Jaa to visit Abom. The divine messengers said unto him "Warciple, thou shalt tool thineself up with as many pencils as you can fit into your camo vest, and when you have completed your mighty work you have divine mandate to stab any shitheel infidel that dares to utter "proactive" in the mouth.

And Abom was pleased.

The Prophet Kloipy was chraged with a holy mission
by Lost Jarv
Feb 21st, 2008
02:55:26 AM
The holy trinity spake thus unto him "Kloipy, it is thine mission to trawl the internet and find many pictures of the nubile fuckpiece Salma to share with your brethren. Such work is good and pleases us mightily for she is a fine piece of ass and to kick her out of bed for eating crisps offendsd us mightily."

And all were pleased.

chraged- curse my shitty typing
by Lost Jarv
Feb 21st, 2008
02:56:03 AM
It's hard to type with a pencil in your hand
The Warciple Pillows was not happy
by Lost Jarv
Feb 21st, 2008
02:58:25 AM
for he was being sorely tested by the forces of darkness. Verily, the minions of Shaitan were manifest in his office, and truly they had taken the form of the dreaded Auditor.

The Divine Trinity took pity on pillows, and decreed that their Warciple shall be saved. To this end they sent the holy messenger Tony Jaa down unto Pillows' home town, where he was to lay waste to all auditors with a Flaming leg Kick. And the auditors were flung into the abyss, where they were consumed by the Bates to know misery for all eternity.

The 10 commandments of the church of chang
by Lost Jarv
Feb 21st, 2008
03:13:54 AM
1)Thou shalt covet Salma

2)Thou shalt grow a proper stache

3)Thou shalt mightily smite all graboid scum

4) Thou shalt respect the holy movies of tremors, Evil Dead and Lep.

5)Thou shalt not, under any circumstances, be a shitheel

6)Thou shalt be adept with a chainsaw and boomstick

7)Thou shalt not allow thine salvation bunker to become low in provisions.

8) Thou shalt use only appropriate ammunition.

9)Thou shalt have a way with one-liners.

10)Thou shalt have a healthy contempt for drippy little whores.

The More You Know
by Lost Jarv
Feb 21st, 2008
03:55:26 AM
Hi, I'm the reanimated corpse of john Belushi, and I'd just like to say that Burt is the only person to beat me down a 1 metre line of cocaine.
Go go Indy 4!
by Proman1984
Feb 21st, 2008
04:48:21 AM
Woo-hoo!
I've load the ten commandments to my company's website
by just pillow talk
Feb 21st, 2008
06:40:53 AM
The "HR Portal" shall be cleansed of infidels and drippy little whores.
And I give thanks to the FLAMING LEG KICK
by just pillow talk
Feb 21st, 2008
06:42:44 AM
for smiting my enemies and sending them to The Bates. I will now go into solitude for 25 seconds and pray for their souls.
I have now made some hot chocolate in honor of Saint Ash
by just pillow talk
Feb 21st, 2008
06:44:58 AM
Aaaaiiii....must....continue.. ..drinking...burning....liquid ....hot....magma....
Saint Ash requires that you shop smart
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
07:11:52 AM
shop S-mart
I nearly put that one in at number 10
by Lost Jarv
Feb 21st, 2008
07:14:10 AM
but decided that there was no need for that to be a commandment.

ALL HAIL THE HOLY TRINITY

There's no way in hell I'm letting this TB die
by Lost Jarv
Feb 21st, 2008
07:15:55 AM
while I'm at work this week.

That would be a terrible sin.

I haven't shaved for a few days...
by just pillow talk
Feb 21st, 2008
07:17:37 AM
Burt, I honor your existence with my stubble. GRABOID!
I'm making everyone at work this week refer
by just pillow talk
Feb 21st, 2008
07:19:18 AM
to me as Willow. I think the snickering as subsided a bit as I've tied a blanket around my neck to serve as a cape.
i built an alter last night
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
07:20:21 AM
and lined it with mustache creams and a trimming kit. The Burt was pleased
I've lit my legs on fire twice now in honor of Tony Jaa
by just pillow talk
Feb 21st, 2008
07:20:57 AM
The first time I caught my chair on fire, so I had to cut that attempt short.

The second time was a resounding success, though the burns are quite painful. On the plus side, it set up the fire alarm and we had a nice break from work. Management was not amused though.

I've made it a point to mass email everyone
by just pillow talk
Feb 21st, 2008
07:22:11 AM
at work the 10 commandments. I'm calling it "Team Building".
I cut my legs off last night
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
07:22:33 AM
so I can see from the ground up like good Warwick
This is now the #1 TB again
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 21st, 2008
07:25:07 AM
Because we fucking rule.
smite those who don't follow them Pillow
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
07:25:44 AM
we need to rain fire from the sky
I also got a call from Purchasing
by just pillow talk
Feb 21st, 2008
07:26:16 AM
questioning why I ordered 10,000 #2 pencils. I promptly called them a bunch of Shitheels and then said I declare war on their department in the name of 2for2true.

My pencil jihad against the purchasing infidels has begun....

Jarv-did you see that article on here
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
07:27:59 AM
about the Toxie musical directed by Brett Ratner??? what the fuck is that about?
I removed one of my hands in honor of Saint Ash
by just pillow talk
Feb 21st, 2008
07:28:38 AM
I didn't have a chainsaw handy, so I just nawwed it off.
Watched Tremors 4 last night
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 21st, 2008
07:29:59 AM
It's subtitled "The Legend Begins." But they aren't talking about the legend of the graboids, or even of Perfection, Nevada--but rather the legend of the MAN, Burt Gummer.

The story takes place in like 1877 in Rejection, later known as Perfection. Chang's ancestors just opened a store, but the town might shut down because the main source of revenue, a local silver mine, is threatened by a new infestation of "dirt devil" trilobite monsters.

So in comes Hiram Gummer, Burt's great-great-great grandad, owner of the mine, from Philadelphia, to find out what the hell's going on. He starts off nothing like the Gummer Man we know. He's prim and proper. All about manners. Doesn't even own a weapon. It takes a hired gunman, Black Hand Kelly, to show him THE WAY, with terrific one-liners like, "Just cuz you full growed don't make you no man."

The graboids are barely in the movie. The story focuses rather on Hiram's journey to TRUE MANHOOD, and how he grows a big enough backbone to save Rejection and return the town to prosperity. It does, however, end with him owning and enjoying a large cache of weapons. Oh, and at one point Hiram does claim he was "denied critical need-to-know information."

I may need to make a pilgrimage
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
07:30:07 AM
To Perfection. I will kneel in the spot where Burt Gummer first destroyed a graboid and I will weep
I've painted the Burt pic you found Kloipy
by just pillow talk
Feb 21st, 2008
07:31:35 AM
on my front door to my office. I think it sends the right message to my co-workers.

1) Can you smell the manly stench?

2)Don't fuck with me.

3)Want to tremor my graboid ladies?


by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
07:31:49 AM
Pencil jihad
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 21st, 2008
07:32:15 AM
Pillow, you shall be the Mead Mujahadeen of your office. If the purchasing officer gives you a hard time, he must be dispatched with a laddy to the mandibular.
Abom, that sounds amazing
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
07:32:36 AM
every movie should be about the legend of Burt Gummer
Pillow, I'm getting that picture tattooed
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
07:33:27 AM
on my face
Abom, the holy trinity smiles down upon thee
by just pillow talk
Feb 21st, 2008
07:34:02 AM
So now we have our crown jewel of civilization....PERFECTION. Our Holy War begins...
Gummer's first graboid kill
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 21st, 2008
07:34:53 AM
Hiram Gummer, that is, was with a giant ass punt gun. It's like a big ass shotgun whose snout is in a different zip code than the trigger. It's very phallic. I wonder why Burt Gummer's likeness isn't on some form of American currency.
I thought about that Kloipy...
by just pillow talk
Feb 21st, 2008
07:35:03 AM
but I don't want anything touching my mustache-in-progress. Burt wouldn't want that.
I made my wife call me Burt
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
07:35:18 AM
in bed last night. in order to please the gods
his likeness is on my greenbacks....
by just pillow talk
Feb 21st, 2008
07:36:33 AM
Granted, I've drawn him on, but I think he appreciates that. When cashiers give me a hard time, I just punch them in the face and yell "graboid lover!"
I will pay out of pocket for reconstructive surgery
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
07:36:57 AM
so that I may look more like Burt. I was created in his image
my wife calls me "the king" now
by just pillow talk
Feb 21st, 2008
07:37:29 AM
I always ask for some sugar.
We should start going to airports
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
07:38:17 AM
and handing out fliers about the triune god.
I've been talking to scientists/doctors/witch doctors
by just pillow talk
Feb 21st, 2008
07:38:32 AM
to see if one of my legs can be permanently on fire.
"touch my graboid baby, bring me to perfection!"
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
07:39:14 AM
that's what you should shout out in the throws of passion
no, I say we bring this directly to capitol hill
by just pillow talk
Feb 21st, 2008
07:39:22 AM
I have 10,000 pencils that say we'll be successful.
what article?
by Lost Jarv
Feb 21st, 2008
07:39:39 AM
that is sinful. Troma is the new testament. How dare the Rat with his ridiculous mediocrity attempt to upgrade the genius of troma. He'll make it bland, boring and shit.
I'm profoundly depressed
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 21st, 2008
07:39:53 AM
That I am a good three or four inches shorter than Michael Gross. I will purchase elevator shoes and grow out my sideburns. Still no email reply from Stampede Entertainment about their official acknowledgement of our Church of Chang. I'll keep bugging them.
I refer to my little guy
by just pillow talk
Feb 21st, 2008
07:40:33 AM
as my "magical willow".
Stampede is listening but not hearing you Abom
by just pillow talk
Feb 21st, 2008
07:41:36 AM
Stay the course.
Jarv
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
07:42:49 AM
here is the blasphamous tome
http://www.aintitcool.com/node /35677
Heh heh pillow's FLK
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 21st, 2008
07:42:52 AM
Yeah, you can walk down the halls of your office, even when you're not in FLK mode, and your leg will be going whoosh whoosh whoosh as you stride, seeking your next victim.
June 21 1947
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
07:45:01 AM
the date that Burt fell from the heavens to walk amongst us mortals. the coming of His birth was the reason for the end of WW2
Strange..
by Braffed
Feb 21st, 2008
07:46:54 AM
thought this was an Indy 4 talk back...
Church of Chang
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
07:47:15 AM
I wonder if I can write off the Attack Pack as a religious donation on my taxes this year? By now we should be recognized as a real religion.
Abom
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
07:49:34 AM
just wanted to let you know that I got a call from Warwick during is orbit around Saturn last night. He is in and is making his way back to earth asap
Gloved
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 21st, 2008
07:51:44 AM
You have two days of catching up to do if you hope to successfully convert to our new religion. If you've seen Tremors or have a 1977 porn star moustache, you have a head start.
Kloipy - I would try and deduct it
by just pillow talk
Feb 21st, 2008
07:54:56 AM
Worst case scenario: you get audited eventually, and then you teach them the meaning of pencil jihad.
I visited grandma
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 21st, 2008
07:55:25 AM
at the nursing home last night on the occasion of her birthday. She was thrilled with her new Attack Pack, even after she realized it wasn't a box of medication or an enema kit. I suggested to one of the nurses that perhaps grandma and her friends could have a little DVD party tonight and watch some Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward and get their juices pumping. Although too much Gummer might prompt a few strokes.
the IRS will meet my PTM
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
07:56:29 AM
pencil to mouth
I gave the Attack Pack to a school for the blind
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
07:58:01 AM
the sound of Burt's voice gave them all the power of sight and premature hair grown on their upper lips. Even the girls
I just slipped this picture under my boss's door
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
07:59:58 AM
http://www.flickr.com/photos/d uffea/2097309828/

I heard a gunshot
It's the protractor from hell!
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 21st, 2008
08:11:48 AM
After visiting grandma I walked to the other side of the facility, the hospice. There, I helped change some colostomy bags. Then me and some terminally ill patients watched some of Tremors 2. One man tearfully said that Burt gave him the strength he needed to "cross over." I held his hand and told him that when he sees the light, he should ignite his leg and go.
Abom I think you are on to something
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
08:19:23 AM
I think Tony Jaa is like the Reaper of the Church of Chang. He FLK's you to the other side
Tremors 5
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
08:24:28 AM
I'm going for an NC-17 rating. At least the first 5 pages of the script I have done are going to be NC-17
all alone.
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
08:32:15 AM
Burt give me strength
No You're not Kloipy
by Lost Jarv
Feb 21st, 2008
08:50:31 AM
I just have to deal with my new "quota time" thing on web use. It truly sucks balls.
Sorry kloipy
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 21st, 2008
08:50:38 AM
They keep trying to make me do work here. They must have mistaken me for someone who shares belief in their mission statement.

Yes, perhaps Tony Jaa is like a divine transporter of souls, and the best that any of us can hope for is to live long, full lives--and be FLKed in our sleep.

and glovedone
by Lost Jarv
Feb 21st, 2008
08:53:08 AM
you are the epitomy of a drippy little whore and are not fit to wax the almlighty burt's moustache.

Go away before I am forced to smite you.

It's ok guys! I figured the bastards at work
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
08:53:25 AM
were trying to keep you away from religion. We should file discrimination reports, as this is our place of worship
I'm thinking
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 21st, 2008
08:53:40 AM
that perhaps in T5 we can get out of perfection and maybe get some graboid action in a bustling metropolis. I for one would find it very amusing if some ass-blasters and shriekers attacked our downtown office building. Even though I am a Warciple, I would not fight or harm the creatures until they killed off some of the morons here. But after that, all bets are off and I'll prime my chainsaw arm and make ready with a ridiculously huge knife, whose blade is not hollow but rather extends through the hilt, because that's important.
Look at Lisa Whats-her-Face
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 21st, 2008
08:55:08 AM
up there in that "Dancing With the Stars" ad. She looks like a raccoon with all that makeup, but I'll tell you what, I'll deliver some salami to the rear door of her delicatessen any day. That's Mrs. Harry "Perseus" Hamlin! He bangs her all the time!
from 1st Deadits Chapter 2 Verses 1 to 4
by Lost Jarv
Feb 21st, 2008
08:56:31 AM
Lo, it came to pass that Shaitan sent one of his assblaster underlings, the infernal braffed/glovedone to pollute and sully the holy TB.

But the Warciples were wise to the ways of the smelly one and were not fooled by his futile attempts to derail the sacred scripture.

They spoke thus unto him: "Get the fuck out of our TB, Drippy little whore else we unleash the forces of the Holy trinity and you get stabbed repeatedly in the mouth with a pencil, before being fed to the graboids"

and mightily chastened braffed slunk away, but not before yeling "OWNED, YOU'RE ALL GAY".

And all was good in the Talkback of Perfection.

Graboids in the City
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
08:57:05 AM
that would be quite cool. Burt could parasail off of a skyscraper, machine guns in his hangs as he flies down city blocks gunning down the 'boids.
fucken quota time is about to kick in again
by Lost Jarv
Feb 21st, 2008
08:57:45 AM
this doth truly blow.
I think it's hilarious
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 21st, 2008
08:58:10 AM
that the next most-popular TB after this one has 500 fewer posts. For the second week or third week in a row, whichever TB we decide to hijack with our Burt-Bears-FLK-2true-metaphysi cs becomes the ipso facto number one forum for intellectual discussion. Which explains why I've been feeling a whole lot smarter this month. And manlier.
I would gladly see a graboid attack on my office
by Lost Jarv
Feb 21st, 2008
08:58:44 AM
and wait calmy till the initial furore passed. To while away my time I would load my elephant gun and wax my moustache.
quota time is the fucking devil
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
08:58:50 AM
2true needs to stab that shitheel in the mouth
I know Abom
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
09:00:15 AM
my balls now touch the floor that's how manly i feel.
Sorry Jarv
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 21st, 2008
09:01:56 AM
You'd think we'd have time quota where I work (a city government), but nope. So work becomes what I do when I'm NOT surfing the net. Not the other way around. If they insisted otherwise, I'd pencil stab them.
I now enjoy telling
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 21st, 2008
09:05:35 AM
people in my unit, "Just because you're all growed up don't make you no kind of man."

I even tell the ladies this. And insist that "A real man gets on his own horse."

I just had a killer idea
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 21st, 2008
09:07:46 AM
I'm going to write Stampede again and propose that we collaborate on some marketing items. Specifically, I want a few dozen grosses of No. 2 pencils with a Tremors-Gummer theme. That way, I can stab assholes with a "dirt dragon" pencil and doubly honor the gods.
from what you have told us Abom
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
09:09:42 AM
it sounds like Tremors 4 was the inspiration for There Will Be Blood
that's a fuckin' sweet idea man
by Kloipy
Feb 21st, 2008
09:11:07 AM
they should make condoms that look like Burt for her pleasure. And condoms that look like graboids if you are taking a peek in door #2
I've been forced to hack the server
by Lost Jarv
Feb 21st, 2008
09:11:32 AM
really, it's ridiculous the lengths I have to go to to waste time.
kloipy
by Abominable Snowcone
Feb 21