see you in ten years gamerra_presley!

Yeah, I've got kids.

The calm before The Storm

BINO - Bond In Name Only

Apart from the dreadful title, this should be one to look forward to.

That's OH-OH for 007.

Some of you weren't even here for that, were you?

:-P

As for Brosnan, he started off great, but ultimately turned into a modernized Roger Moore, complete with tugging at his collar.

Sort of like yours was Glovedone.

Just to make you aware that nothing you post between bannings will ever catch on.

And Spyguy- I like Dalton (sad purist that I am) and would put the order:

Connery (can't argue with it)> Craig (So far)> Dalton (good bond in shit films)> Lazenby> Brosnan (Less said about his outings other than Goldeneye the better)> Moore.

We need some tough spies.

"Whatever I am, I am for you."

Ugh.

You are a wretched, useless, irritating little shitbag with the charm of a car crash.

NOTE TO SELF:

DON'T FEED THE TROLL DON'T FEED THE TROLL DON'T FEED THE TROLL DON'T FEED THE TROLL DON'T FEED THE TROLL DON'T FEED THE TROLL

It is mildly amusing that you are saying someone else is attention seeking, though.

I'm outta here- have fun people. Eat a dick Glovedone.

Pillow--it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! Ho ho ho, she'll pooch those purty lips!

Casino Royale...I'm talking about you...

Maybe you should just hang up the keyboard?

He's an only child too, thank god. At least his gene pool pollution sops with him.

In case you miss it, I posted some of my Roy Scheider worship cards in the Roy TB. Straight out of 1978. Here's a preview. Print them out and put them on car windshields in parking lots. "What's that man doing up there?"

http://tinyurl.com/yos45t

And It was funny when glovebraff committed massive self-PWNERSHIP (It's even more humiliating than self-ownership) again trying to slap me.

What a tool.

Christ, that film made me want to gouge my eyes out.

Luckily god was on hand with a solar puncture repair kit.

I don't even care if my neighbors see me in the yard, kicking up snow as I duck for cover behind trash cans. I don't care if I'm in my 30s. If a probe droid opens fire, you better duck.

Two of my many talents include making the Tauntaun "kaboowaboo" noise and the Predator "kliklikliks."

The movie actually killed a lot of the love I had.

Other shit ideas- the understand women gun, Sam Rockwell, Stephen fry as the guide, Sam Rockwell, Romance, Sam Rockwell.

Well, you get the idea.

You, on the other hand, are not.

My wife hates it when she sends me out to snowblow, and an hour later she opens the back door to find me hanging suspended upside down on the porch. "What the hell are you doing?" She'll ask.

"Wampa got me."

The absolute worst thing about HGTTG was Sam Rockwell as Zaphod. Especially the way they handled the 2 heads thing. That was a truly, truly rotten idea.

I think I hated it so much because I really wanted to like it. I ignored all the warnings and just closed my ears to any criticism and then.....

It was shit. I wish a wampa would get them

"And what will you be doing?" my daughter asks.

"Someone has to man the ion cannon so the transports can get away," I tell her, then I get in my car in the drive, crank the heater and listen to the radio.

She is starting to understand Bad Cinema, but bad TV just won't wash yet. I will convert her though.

I sometimes get the impression that she thinks I am mildly retarded.

No reason, it just died.

Mind you he uses wookies to scratch his ass with.

And some of the shit she thinks is good makes my retinas spontaneously detach.

Seriously, what the fuck is the point of Grey's Anatomy? Why does it exist? WHY?

That film taught me 2 useful things:

1)Never piss on a dead Leprechaun

2) Do not mix scorpion, spider and Alien DNA in a blender before injecting it into yourself.

Hysterically, the guy that played MITTENSCHPIDER in it was previously a gay German on dreadful BBC Sitcom 'Allo 'Allo. True.

I loved that shit when I was a kid

G'morning BSB. I didn't mean to make you cry! If you like, I'll mail you some snow in a box. But it will probably melt. I could mail my kids to you for a visit, but I'd probably have to snap their arms and legs to make them fit.

I just noticed that our morning / afternoon flurry of posts has put this TB back to #1. Whoooieee

"Then I'll see you in hell," I reply. "And have some fuckin' chicken noodle soup ready for me in an hour."

The pub amy crackhouse drinks in has been gutted.

It annoyed me this year that in the category for Best Rock Instrumental, the choices included virtuosos like Joe Satriani, Steve Vai, and Rush--but the winner was Bruce Springsteen. WHAT?! I mean, I love the Boss, but he shouldn't even have been in that category to begin with. I've hated the Grammys for years.

It's just a question of who checks out firsr:

Amy Winehouse

2)Britney

3)Lindsay Lohan

4) Pete Doherty (my money's on him)

It's kind of a transatlantic dead horse race

Morning, pillow! I suspected you'd be around. I trust Denise Richards left the dishes spotless, that fine Christmas Whore.

Bizarre.

I think I would like to see Britney go down in flames first.

And you're absolutely right Abom, Bruce should have in no way, shape, or form won that. What a joke.

He is amazing though when those dudes are chasing him in the streets and he dives under/over/through stuff that just "happen" to appear right in front of him.

I much prefer the Protector.

Still, the Protector had that one long take of him going up the stairs. You know he was so fucking tired at the top there, but then he got pissed off and started pounding the shit outta that guy.

And I cannot stress enough that last fight scene is called "battle of the behemoths" or something like that. I mean, they throw a fucking baby elephant!

Oh, and plus the fight scene before that had the most broken arms and legs I've ever seen.

Tony Jaa must bring back the platypus to his village on the outer rim. Carnage and mayhem ensue, and he'll have some sort of "galactic kick".

You should get a bonfire going...perhaps "borrow" some things from the office.

I agree with ya Abom on Matrix Reloaded. It's another story though, if they should have even gone that route and not followed through with the ending of the first one.

Salma Hayek (thank you Desperado!)

Warwick also played the rockets, but that took so long to shoot the scenes cause then they had to track him down and see where he landed, then put back in the guitar case. Quite a lengthly process.

I keep putting in a job post for a sidekick orangutan at work, but so far, nothing. I can only imagine how much better my work productivity would be.

Outside my window, the snow has started. It's a good bet the Empire knows we're here.

2for2true's pencil has the power of a million suns.

Tony Jaa's knees have the power of drunken orangutan's hug.

I say it's a draw.

It's official--I've put in to take May 22nd off work. Because I'll be recovering from Indy and the Aliens at the midnight show. I think I'll take my daughter.

My monkey would make copies of his ass and then send them to all departments through inter-department mail.

He would also have 37 offenses against him due to "extreme groping" of the opposite sex.

and if 2for2true once took out all the electrity and heat in an Imperial Star Destroyer with one pencil...

and retarded adults enjoy the Wiggles...then purple wiggle Jeff must be Darth Vader.

Just to be doubly sure, don't name your little monkey Caesar either.

Hey pillow, whaddaya teach / take?

I'm just busting your balls. I wonder if Chief Brody, in the world of Jaws, was buried in Amity or back home in NYC, or possibly even buried at sea, given that his fate was inextricably tied to sharks and the sea. I mean, you gotta imagine that after Jaws 2 everyone in the town must have been lining up to suck his dick, given that they thought he was crazy and they fired him. Yet he was right, it WAS another shark, and most of their kids were in danger. He must have been like, "See? I was right. Now suck it, Larry."

You would think Lance can get some other work other than Pumpkinhead.

Fred Ward was also in Corky Romano. Strike two.

Braffed, I'm not concerned with "the whole world" out there. I'm quite content with my city goverment paying me over 50Gs a year to spend time on this TB discussing Warwick with you. There are days when I earn my pay, but this ain't one of 'em. Unless I get stuck driving home in this shit, in which case I'll have to go into Hoth mode and hope Echo 3 locates us in time.

Abom, if I have my alcoholic orangutan, he could be my enforcer. Literally, my gorilla arms.

THE GLOVE = success

THE GLOVE = all-knowing

THE GLOVE = chick magnet

Oh tell us oh wise one, what is our teachings of the day, oh drippy little whore?

They're closing our building now because of the weather (unlike me, they are not trained for Hoth's environment). So I must go. If I do not make it back tomorrow, it means I am probably hanging upside down in a wampa cave.

1) gay baiting

2) using a constant running tally on how they are "winning" the flame war

3) claiming intellectual superiority

4) name calling

5) Constantly saying "Is that all you got?" and things of this nature.

The difference is Braffed is actually a little more passive than Albertson.

You've said you like to avoid political talkbacks. So maybe that means you generally try to avoid conflict. Usually what you want is to be left alone so your tactics are to deflect, ignore, and confuse.

Inevitably though what you want will be in conflict with someone else. I bet what you do is charm, amuse, seduce, and maybe guilt the other person.

Basically I just made all that stuff up but I'm a writer so I am interesting in that stuff about people. I always like to think about what my characters tactics are to get what they want.

What I have done, however, is go back in time and have sex with numerous Talkbackers' mothers, effectively becoming their fathers. That, my friend, is the Ultimate in Pwnership.

With that, I bestow upon you the keys (*hands keys to Xiphos*) .. have fun!

Good luck and Godspeed!

Terry: We only Hijack threads that are completely lame and pointless (this one is a prime example- Daniel Craig gets Taxi in austria. Shit the bed.) It doesn't hurt anyone and gives us countless hours of enjoyment talking about the important things in life- Wampas, Bears etc

Do Wampas count as Bears?

Tony Jaa is indeed awesome,

Braffed- beating you up in a Talkback is the equivalent of kicking a cripple. There is no need to gang up on you, as anyone able bodied can do it. In fact, if anything we do not gang up on you, you bring it on yourself by reappearing like a particularly noxious cloud of gas, typing "you guys are gay. Owned" and then fucking off again. If you are going to fuck off, then please stay gone.

Kloipy- Pumpkinhead 4. I was recently in Brazil and saw it on a shelf in a video shop. They made 3 and 4 back to back and they are both apparently quite good. 2 was not good- it was no fun at all. My main disappointment with the pumpkinhead franchise is that the monster does not, in any way,shape or form, have a pumpkinhead. I feel severely let down by this.

Lance- athough the man is a god, he is not to be forgiven for starring as Weyland in the first AvP. BAD LANCE, BAD.

I think that's everything.

You are a despicable drippy little whore that likes to insert OLIVE pits into his penis before smearing himself in OLIVE oil and screaming at the moon in an OLIVE grove. You are never happier than when someone is jamming whole OLIVES into your rectum until you swell up like an OLIVE, turn OLIVE green and then settle down in front of your mother's television to furiously masturbate ot OLIVE OYL on Popeye. But, bizarrely, you are weirdly prejudiced against black OLIVES as they don't form part of your uber-race of green OLIVE fetishists.

*Jarv shouts out as tumbleweed rolls by and somewhere in the distance a lone church bell forlonely tolls a single time*

No, I have no idea what that meant either. I just wanted to scream "ACTION IS NOT A VERB YOU FUCKING PRICK" whilst clubbing him to death with the user manual.

Every time someone speaks like that I see George Orwell's coffin burrow towards teh centre of the earth.

I am quite surprised at the fanbase it has in Brazil. very strange.

Reality TV (I worked for one once) is cheap, inexplicably popular with the key demographic and sadly, here to stay. If you look at the summer schedules anyway it is driven by the likes of Big Brother, American arsehole, Survivor et al.

I'm waiting for the groundbreaking reality TV "experience" called "Vom on Gran"- where a group of "real" lowlifes spend 3 weeks locked in a shed taking turns to vomit on their grandmothers. Allegedly it's a social experiment.

I love Brazil, it's a great place.

Management-speak arsehole.

Put the 6 most obnoxious fuckers on the planet in one flat and see how long it takes for them to fuck/ fall out.

He also had braces and a combover.

I don't even work in It, and was horribly distressed to find that "Proactively promoting the use of the database" had been shoehorned into my job description. I can't use the fucking thing, so how on earth am I to encourage other people to use it? and how do you encourage someone to use a database anyway?

They don't take into account "mature students" (I hate that phrase)

Ridiculous.

Yeah, we'll see what the Professor says since I sent him an email telling him I bailed out going to class, if they even ended up having class.

And for once, I'm problem free with the site.

I keep having to press refresh until the purple/blue line with the links on it appears.

It was horrible, I was a good 6 years older than everyone else (and this was purely postgrad). I grew to hate them all, and just stopped going to lectures. (I did pass)

the thought of going back to a nay-kidding uni full of kids over a decade younger than me doesn't bear thinking about,

So then Jarv, you've got THE WHITE SCREEN OF DOOM with shitty Harry animation. That sucks.

watching!But if a fellow TB is in need for some help "SUPERTRAVIS" is there!;-)

and fot the MILF`s!

I'm doing nowt today

fool. He's just asking for a slap, and he ignored the olive insult- which hurts my feelings, especially as I followed his instructions

Did you lot see that Quint or Merrick or whoever it was dissed Scream (of all things), I'd argue that Scream as "postmodern, and like, y'knew, ironic and shit," saved horror.

Unfortunately it did give the world Kevin Williamson, post-modern ironic horror, and worst of all Scary Movie.

It's a pity because the original scream, as faux-knowing as it is, is a cracking little movie.

I don't get the hate for it.

FUCK YOU GEORGE LLUCAS

How annoying, I've got actual work to do, that needs the other windows open. Bollocks.

Which would suck

Fire being a TJ FLK and the suspicious fishy grease that emanates from THE BATES' nether regions.

Maybe 2true will save us. I heard him say that humanity is merely one of his playthings, but one of his favourites.

That's an example of why it was so good- it was inventive.

He'd want to do it all serious, which would be fine, but his version of serious= trailers/ rednecks/ torture porn.

We would get to see the virginity losing scene though.

And it is actually a good film as well.

Seriously, there is 6 degrees of minger. It's a well known fact. You can get from your current wife to a complete munter in 6 steps.

Ignore those po-faced fucks on there. They don't know what they're talking about.

Brrrrrrrrr, frightening stuff.

No, wait, I'm getting confused with Braffed's "adult situations".

2)When he tries to run away from the store detectives (but is in fact too obese to get anywhere) who think it is unreasonable to have eaten the bodyweight of a killer whale's worth of OLIVES.

3) When he has to explain to the nice cleaning lady in a hotel that he was watching that guy-on-guy porn with his cock in an OLIVE jar for solely educational purposes.

4)When he has to go to the vet (he isn't allowed in the doctor) for removal of OLIVE pitt from penis.

I could go on with this, but you get the idea

The implication being, that we would be too stupid to do it.

We've now effortlessly come up with several different bitchslaps for you, all of which contain olive. It wasn't hard. Now fuck off.

So Xiphos, by acres and acres of tanned skin, that's all the flab of these enormously overweight women. Right?