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Does Jackie & Jet's FORBIDDEN KINGDOM Actually Rock?? The Drunken Reviewer Says So...

Still should of happened ten years ago by blindambition238	Feb 1st, 2008 08:02:21 AM

Drunken Master III starring Li and Chan by GibsonUSA	Feb 1st, 2008 08:07:44 AM
Just imagine how good that would have been... Yes, imagine the poster...imagine a fight scene in a burning warehouse or something.... Yes....imagine.... :(
Hey? by psychedelic	Feb 1st, 2008 08:09:56 AM

Hey?! by psychedelic	Feb 1st, 2008 08:10:50 AM
I thought I was the only one around here allowed to review under the influence. ;) Sorry about the double post.
Hey? by GibsonUSA	Feb 1st, 2008 08:11:22 AM

i'll say one thing: by newc0253	Feb 1st, 2008 08:16:29 AM
them PLANTS are getting more sophistimucated. lots of nice touches.
I'll say one other thing: by newc0253	Feb 1st, 2008 08:20:05 AM
hey!
Great review by DonnieDorko	Feb 1st, 2008 08:20:56 AM
Sounds interesting.
Heeeey by DonnieDorko	Feb 1st, 2008 08:22:13 AM

Wait a minute...this isn't the Lost talkback. My bad by JBouganim1	Feb 1st, 2008 08:24:31 AM

Wait a minute...this isn't the Lost talkback. My bad by GibsonUSA	Feb 1st, 2008 08:28:59 AM

They should've just made this the Dragon Ball movie by GibsonUSA	Feb 1st, 2008 08:31:16 AM
Based on the same story. And get Chow Yun Fat in it just as the current one has. All star Chinese cast!
Probably Going to be a Fun Movie by BilboRing	Feb 1st, 2008 08:51:18 AM
The trailers look very good and the story is cool too.
I'd like to know more about the PLANT industry. by GibsonUSA	Feb 1st, 2008 08:52:29 AM
I remember 20/20 or something actually did a report on this a few years back. They profiled some fat dude sitting in a chair with all these online identities praising the crap out of some movie about to be released. His whole goal was to spread hype and diffuse concerns/complaints from legitimate members. Although I know there were true supporters, there is no doubt in my mind that there were a FLOOD of these fat dudes here on AICN during the road to Transformers. They came in and completely hyped the crap out of that movie while thrashing all negativity....then they suddenly disappeared. I await their return for Transformers 2. (picks up baseball bat...)
Sounded good by puzzledman69	Feb 1st, 2008 08:53:57 AM
until he started talking about the wire work. If Ong-bak taught us nothing its that you don't need wire work to make a good martial arts film. Leave the wire-fu for Steven Seagal.
BORING by ObiWanCon	Feb 1st, 2008 08:54:40 AM
BORING, BORING, BORING, BORING, BORING, BORING, BORING, BORING.
::Imagines Seagal on a wire dancing over bamboo:: by GibsonUSA	Feb 1st, 2008 08:55:51 AM
Gee, thanks.
Seagal and the Wire-fu of Doom by puzzledman69	Feb 1st, 2008 09:01:50 AM
I hate that fat white guy on a wire shit. I blame The matrix. At least they did it with a bit of style. There was a period a couple of years ago where every film that came out had some wankstain floating around in the crane position while a bunch of rent a goons waited patiently to get there heads kicked in. It made me embarrassed to be a kung-fu fan. Then Tony Jaa came along and I thought we'ed turned a corner, but no, here we go again. At least Bruce Lee died young so we don't have to sit thru Bruce Lee and Chris Tucker in "The Pimp Dragon" or some shit.
interesting, by Stevie Grant	Feb 1st, 2008 09:13:21 AM
i had never considered referring to my rod as a "divine weapon," but now that the idea's out there...
YOU MUST MAKE TEA FOR DEAR OLD UNCLE! by Osmosis Jones	Feb 1st, 2008 09:21:28 AM

Brucie Bonus by puzzledman69	Feb 1st, 2008 09:24:02 AM
I wonder what kind of film Bruce Lee would be making nowadays, You know, If he hadn't snuffed it. My guess is some DTV shit.
Nobody talks about Transformers on my internet! by critch	Feb 1st, 2008 09:27:29 AM
"They came in and completely hyped the crap out of that movie while thrashing all negativity....then they suddenly disappeared." Transformers was great. Critics liked it. Audiences loved it. Just because the great unwashed that is the internet doesn't like it, doesn't mean anything. Go watch your No Country and Juno, and we'll watch the entertaining movies, thanks. Sounds really good, thought the plot started to remind me of "Dragon Wars" as it started out. Kid goes into old man's store, finds an artifact, and ends up being some sort of chosen one?
It's the gay dudes son from Will and Grace by supermarch	Feb 1st, 2008 09:29:18 AM
Playing with a big pole and loving it. Looks like Big Trouble in Little China in terms of tone. Or at least it better be or it will be accidentally funny.
Transformers by puzzledman69	Feb 1st, 2008 09:31:43 AM
First off I've got to say, I liked transformers. But Critch, dude, Critics liked it! I don't remember hearing, seeing or fucking reading 1 good review. Unless of course you count the " For a movie based on a toyline it was ok kind of review.
Critics liked Transformers? by GibsonUSA	Feb 1st, 2008 09:37:33 AM
It has a rotten on rottentomatoes....and even the good reviews must have some disclaimer like "FOR A BS POPCORN MOVIE WITH ZERO SUBSTANCE, this was pretty alright". I am not a new Transformers fan, nor am I some hardcore that expects everything like the original. For a movie, Transformers was lackluster to me. (I didnt like the robot designs but it was the lame jokes, mostly, along with the camerawork that killed it.) That being said, I was just making an observation. This board, and Transformers message boards were absolutely flooded by guerella advertisers/PLANTS leading up to the movie, I have no doubt. Their posting came out of nowhere and posted a billion hyping messages, then were gone without a trace.
The Ubiquitous Giant Fucking Robots by puzzledman69	Feb 1st, 2008 09:42:41 AM
It's taken like twenty posts to get from a Kung-fu film to transformers this is a wierd fucking site.
rev-hue by huggerorange	Feb 1st, 2008 09:43:50 AM
id never thought id say this about a review cause I simply never cared enough but.. that review IS a PLANT if i ever saw one
That fat kids chest bumping review will live on in AICN infamy by blindambition238	Feb 1st, 2008 09:44:40 AM
... along with the Batman and Robin review I reckon
Plant? by puzzledman69	Feb 1st, 2008 09:45:01 AM
Either a plant or an idiot.
no offense but that was hardly a review by chutneylix	Feb 1st, 2008 09:47:43 AM
Drunken whatever dude: looks like you tried hard but that read more like a recap than a review. glad you liked it though, I'm looking forward to it. I love Jacki Chan and he's been doing a lot of crap lately. Can it be that hard to write funny lines for a guy with that face and talent? His bloopers have been funnier than the films.
by puzzledman69	Feb 1st, 2008 09:52:06 AM
Dude the bloopers in Jackie Chan films were always the best bit
So... it's like Godzilla's Revenge. Except good. {g} by JasonPratt	Feb 1st, 2008 09:54:30 AM
Actually it did sound like something I want to check out this April. Thanks for the report-view.
Looks good but... by EvilGeek1	Feb 1st, 2008 10:07:02 AM
What's the point in seeing it when the trailer tells you pretty much the whole of what you're going to see. I didn't even read the spoiler and alreay know too much to be surprised and/or interested in it.
Spiderman trailers show the whole movie. by GibsonUSA	Feb 1st, 2008 10:15:12 AM
No point in watching the movie for story reasons after watching the trailer.
The reviewer may not have been drunk, by skimn	Feb 1st, 2008 10:19:50 AM
but I will be, when I see this on DVD. I hope it's good, but the trailer looks BAD.
jackie chan, jet li AND GANDALF!!! by imkida	Feb 1st, 2008 10:22:11 AM
YEAH!!!!! Mithrandir the White returns!!!!
Anyone remember by skimn	Feb 1st, 2008 10:52:13 AM
Jackie Chan guest hosting SNL quite a while back. If memory serves me correctly, he was pretty damn good.
PLANTS never post spoilers? by newc0253	Feb 1st, 2008 11:09:45 AM
really? i've seen movie trailers with spoilers, so why would PLANTS be any different? i agree that studios wouldn't want major spoilers to go out, but giving away plot twists (something which half the movie trailers out there do already) is hardly conclusive evidence that a reviewer isn't a PLANT.
This looks by Series7	Feb 1st, 2008 12:03:05 PM
Like warriors of virtue.
Tony Jaa has raised the bar and this wont be able to compete by Hot-Handed God of Cops	Feb 1st, 2008 12:08:03 PM
This looks shit, wire work has been done to death this is lazy for li and chan. wire work could even make stephen hawkins look like he could fight
Also by Series7	Feb 1st, 2008 12:22:38 PM
Why can't we get a Seagal/Snipes/Dolph/Van Damme DTV masterpiece?
If filmed in China could be good if hollywood bad by picardsucks	Feb 1st, 2008 12:49:08 PM
If it is filmed in China then the stunts and action should be impressive as they don't substitute Jackie, Jet or any of the other Hong Kong action stars with a stunt man every time they walk down a flight of steps. I heard Jackie interviewed about how disappointed he was in the Hollywood film process in that they wouldn't let him cut loose or do his more breathtaking action or stunts because of our strict pussy regulation. Bean counter insurance considerations, and over unionization. I also heard in the same commentary (Police Story I available from Dragon Dynasty and usually Blockbuster) Brettt Ratner commenting how he more or less ripped off plot elements and many stunts from the film. Actually admitting plagerism?? Douchey McDouche!!!! I will say that if your entire view of the Jet Li's and Jackie Chan's of the world are only from the shitty Hollywood projects they have been involved with then you are missing out on all their great Hong kong work. Wanna see real Jackie watch police Story not Poop Hour. Wanna see real Jet don't watch War watch Once Upon a Time in China. The action and stunts are lightyears different. To sum up if filmed in hollywood and overseen by a time of homo, cokehead, nebbish type attornies who think kung fu and karate are the same thing = bad. If filmed in Hong kong by action stars and action directors missing fingers who could kick the shit out of Bruce Lee in his prime = (prob Good)
This is probably full of wire-fu nonsense. by wingding99	Feb 1st, 2008 12:55:25 PM
But not everybody can be Tony Jaa. I'm sure it will be fun.
I'M SO THERE by BringingSexyBack	Feb 1st, 2008 12:56:52 PM
I hope other reviewers can back this up as being good because Chan and Li onscreen is a not-to-be-missed event. And Jackie has to make up for the 90 minutes I wasted on Rush Hour 3. He looked so pissed to even be in that movie.
This fucking rocks by 5 by 5	Feb 1st, 2008 01:44:54 PM
I can hardly wait to see this. Two kung-fu movie gods on screen together, wire-fu, magic... booyah!
Like I said, wirework is like CG in movies....... by GibsonUSA	Feb 1st, 2008 01:54:10 PM
It's cool, as long as you cant tell its being used.
ricarleite by GibsonUSA	Feb 1st, 2008 01:57:36 PM
Yeah, I've seen several reports on undercover advertisers ("PLANTS"), so my memories are mushed as to what's from where. There was this one where a guy was promoting this wireless laptop control thing by pretending to be a normal guy playing with it in the Starbucks. Or, Sony selling their new camera by having fake tourists ask people "can you take a picture of us?"....or the most sneaky one imo is having hot girl actors at bars and stuff flirting with guys and mentioning the product. Nasty.
Sometimes you can read typing sotra like acting by GibsonUSA	Feb 1st, 2008 02:03:15 PM
Sometimes you can kinda sorta tell when someone is real, and when someone is a plant. You can sorta-sorta read it, and it was disgustingly all over the place for Transformers. When a plant is disgused as a poster, he can act all chum-chum at first, but sooner or later he's gonna have to break and make the pitch for the product. "Come on, let's just all watch this movie and THEN decide what we think!"
its fucking plantathon here by Spoiler_Man	Feb 1st, 2008 02:28:44 PM
Someone get me something to cut down this plant. its blocking my view of reviews by real people.
seriously about the fighting by BatRastard	Feb 1st, 2008 03:13:05 PM
people bag on wire fu but would you really want to see "real" martial arts? a few kicks then endless rolling around on the ground till someone gets someone in a submission old. i'll take the wire fu because it's exciting. leave the "real" martial arts for UFC or any given weekend night down at the corner bar.
Rob Minkoff by OwnedbyGeorge	Feb 1st, 2008 04:09:18 PM
Also directed The Lion King, one of the greatest films in the last century. Stuart little is great, and I cant think of another film that captures that storybook tone and feel quite as well. Haunted mansion was ruined by Eddie Murphy.
The sequel should have Chuck Norris and Steven Segal. by Mike_D	Feb 1st, 2008 05:32:51 PM
mark my words.
Still a sceptic! by GravyAkira	Feb 1st, 2008 05:45:27 PM
Im a HUGE Jackie and Jet fan, but until a see the movie itself, or a better trailer for that matter, I will say my expectations are lowered. A Jackie Chan and Jet Li starring film is a dream come true for me. I just wasnt expecting it to be a fantasy set in ancient China with a white guy from Boston sent back in time to make the movie appealing to the "general American public". Im still hoping for the best, but it looks like ill have to plan for the worst. Prove me wrong Kingdom!
haha not much about the seeker? by firdonyt	Feb 2nd, 2008 07:03:39 AM
you seem totally left out the white guy.
Look at the trailer and honestly tell me you don't this is a pla by SillySOB	Feb 2nd, 2008 08:20:09 AM
If that's their trailer footage, imagine how bad the rest of the movie will be. This read like a plant even before I saw the trailer.
So seeing this. by NubtheSquirrel	Feb 2nd, 2008 11:38:25 AM
I am going to be in L.A. that weekend that it opens. Hopefully it will be showing on the Dome screen at the Arclight. I don't care if the movie sucks, I just want to see the fight scenes.
These plants by Nabster	Feb 2nd, 2008 02:38:35 PM
are hilarious.
Bai Ling Needs to be in this..... by DarfurOnTheRocks	Feb 2nd, 2008 09:11:28 PM
She MADE Lost what it is today.....
Frank Dux should have been it this..... by DarfurOnTheRocks	Feb 2nd, 2008 09:15:20 PM
It would have brought the project some credibility.
This review is teh zexy by TokyoJoe	Feb 2nd, 2008 10:45:37 PM
Your all gonna see this and you know it.
who let storm in this movie? by luckycreature	Feb 3rd, 2008 09:12:57 AM
seriously i was like oh no somebody gave halle berry a xmen origins spinoff.
The ultimate Chinese action movie: Li, Chan, Yeoh, Fat, & Zhang, by MrMysteryGuest	Feb 3rd, 2008 11:43:21 AM
I'd pay to see that!
directed by John Woo! by MrMysteryGuest	Feb 3rd, 2008 11:46:31 AM

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Does Jackie & Jet's FORBIDDEN KINGDOM Actually Rock?? The Drunken Reviewer Says So...

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