Unless you didn't get a preview copy, and if so then I apologize for the limp sniping. I do love the @$$Hole column.

Me:"Yeah, Doc, I always dug the issues where you tormented Cap, the Falcon and Spider-Man. Anyway, the reason I'm here is that I fear bad retcons."

Dr. Faustus:"An understandable fear, Mr. Maverik, one I would exploit had you any value to me. Do you fear that since Spider-Man was poorly retconned in Marvel Comics, that further poor retcons will be done to correct the original?"

Me:"Exactly, Doc. I mean, I think that they should have to plow right through this, you know. Fix it with writing, with a story line, not with Peter waking from a dream or something."

Dr. Faustus:"I think you are beyond help, Mr. Maverik. Unfortunately, I must supervise my henchmen in the placement of psychotropic gas bombs throughout the city. I'm referring you to a colleague of mine, one Dr. Lucille Van Pelt, who should be able to empty your bank account a nickle at a time..."

"Hon-est and pop-u-lar don't go hand in hand...

"If you say you play the ac-cord-ian...

"No one will hire you for their rock and roll band!"

OTOH, AXM...not so much. I don't really get the love. Not to be a hater, but it's just so boring. At least it doesn't have Cable, though. Messiah Complex was ok, had the good moments and a lot of weak crap...sort of typical X-Men, but more tightly written and drawn. Nothing special, for sure.

Young Avengers: Patriot: Agree 100% with the review.

LOSH? Finally started picking it up again after dropping it because Mark Waid is such a boring, whitebread writer. And what do I get? Um, more whitebread Legion. Look at Timberwolf. I'd say they're a bunch of models, but a bunch of models would be more diverse and interesting than this. Shooter, come on...step it up! I am now dropping Legion again, for the zillionth time, and will give it another chance the next time it's rebooted. I have periodically liked it (like during the "what's holding it up" era, the Giffen era, the Kinetix, Andromeda era. Why is the future always so full of one-dimensional throwback caucasians?

But I was still the first kid in town with a copy of Y 60. And in all reality, fuck that Amazing Spider-Man bullshit. This week, I got Y, Astonishing X-Men, Punisher and Ultimate Spidey. I also think there's an issue of Daredevil or Batman coming out sometime tomorrow... (I run with a shitty schedule, man.) But Y, Damn. First off, I breathed one big sigh of relief when they didn't go the "crazy/dream/snowglobe" route. I mean, I knew they were better than that, but I still had my doubts. And Zardoz, **Y-The Last Man Related SPOILER** Perhaps her name was Peace, as seen on the tree. ***End of Spoiler***

But after reading Y, Punisher, Astonishing, and to a lesser extent, Ultimate Spidey and I guess Thunderbolts and Daredevil, which I knew came out a while ago, but I just picked them up, I realized there is no reason for me to give a shit about Amazing SPider-Man or the majority of mainstream Marvel/DC. Thank you good writers and artists, you have more or less freed me from my bonds. I know I'm a bit of a Vaughan-faughan, but still, that was some quality stuff. I've never seen a TV show better than a comic. Christ, now I'm just jerkin BKV's dick for him. I love the guy. What can I do? Alright, I gotta get outta here before I really go crazy... FUCK SPIDER-MAN.

Next time I ever get some stuff pulled out of my mouth, I'll be sure to leave some bloody cotton balls lying around. But I was outdoors. If it was an indoor incident, somebody's face would've gotten knocked in for sure...

About the movies, yeah, There Will be Blood was a surprisingly chill experience as opposed to what I've been through recently, especially considering the surprising amount of people in the theater. It's great to know that there's still an audience out there for good stuff like this. Maybe they actually got one of my angry letters I sent last year after Grindhouse never came out... If they can keep their shit up, (Juno and No County came to the theater, which I did not expect to happen.) I might just lift my boycott. I aint paid for a movie for a long ass time, except Beowulf, which I needed 3D glasses for and was pretty ridiculous in my opinion. I enjoyed it, but I want to get my money's worth out of those specs. DO I sneak into Brendan Frasier's Journey to the Center of the Earth? Hell yeah. Anyway, back to my wacky movie going experiences. My personal favorite was No Country For Old Men. It was really cold. I kept my coat and hat on. There were only about ten people in the theater, so two of them decided to sit really close to me and the Body brothers. This couple were both wearing very noisy coats, and had a few blankets with them, which was understandable. But the man was trying really hard to show off to the rest of the theater what a great guy he was, so he went to get his girl a drink, and when he returned he feux-whispered "I brought you a beverage." Yeah, we were right in front of them, but I'm pretty sure the rest of the audience heard him too, because everyone started chuckling. It was awkward. The Body brothers and I stayed through about half the credits in true film nerd style and when we left, it looked like the couple wasn't going to make a move. They also were kind enough to bring their chihuahua along with them. I don't know what was up with that and I didn't want to ask because I think they might have heard me refer to them as "base-heads."