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Vern’s Got DVD Reviews Of Two Dark Sky Cult Titles! TRAGIC CEREMONY and RICCO THE MEAN MACHINE!

Hey Niemla... by Horace Cox	Jan 29th, 2008 03:18:54 AM
Suck it!
Pearl necklace??? by Horace Cox	Jan 29th, 2008 03:21:10 AM
A chick in TRAGIC CEREMONY gets a pearl necklace? What kid of filth are you watching, Vern? And where can I rent it?
I by Spoiler_Man	Jan 29th, 2008 04:45:18 AM

Does Vern ever get to see proper movies? by Spoiler_Man	Jan 29th, 2008 04:48:03 AM
Or does Harry not let him? Is he banned from cinemas across the country due to his outlaw past? I bet Vern's cut a guys dick off, stuck it in his mouth and thrown him in acid. Vern is my hero.
Im sorry for my first post by Spoiler_Man	Jan 29th, 2008 04:48:56 AM
I got all excited thinking about this Tragic Ceremony movie and hit the enter button after entering just one word.
LOL by Spoiler_Man	Jan 29th, 2008 05:03:47 AM
See, there's a satanic cult, and one character has this pearl necklace that has a spooky past, and who knows what kind of crazy shit will go down? Well, I know. I saw the movie." LOL!
Ricco was also released as Gangland by JackRabbitSlim	Jan 29th, 2008 05:08:36 AM
The VHS copy under the Gangland title was slightly edited in that there is no cock-in-mouth but does sport the copious nudity. Nowhere near as good as some of Fernando Di Leo's films, this one is definitely only for the Italo-crime completists.
Anton Lavey by Knuckleduster	Jan 29th, 2008 05:17:55 AM
I'm checking out the Church Of Satan website now. Funny shit. Well, about as funny as any religion, I suppose. But these guys are clowns, man. They should watch Rosemary's Baby. Polanski can out-evil anyone (but in a good way, of course).
Both Sound better than what I watched last night! by FILMFUNK	Jan 29th, 2008 06:01:29 AM
Which was Hatchet! This site has been bigging up that movie from the start so I though it would at least be entertaining but I ended up forwrding between the Kills (which were at least pretty decent in camera effects with no CG) but it's a bit sad when the extra features are 100 times more entertaining than the movie!
I like the longer title by Franklin T Marmoset	Jan 29th, 2008 06:52:52 AM
SOME GUY WITH A STRANGE FACE IS LOOKING FOR YOU TO KILL YOU. That is a solid title right there. I saw a film last night that should have been called SOME GUY WITHOUT A MUSTACHE WILL LATER GROW A MUSTACHE AND SHOOT A BUNCH OF OTHER GUYS. It was Wyatt Earp.
DICK/MOUTH/ACID!!! by travis-dane	Jan 29th, 2008 07:26:17 AM
Sounds Great!
I wish Vern would review "Remains of the Day" by Abin Sur	Jan 29th, 2008 07:30:57 AM
Just to hear him talk about how did Hannibal Lecter turn into such a pussy.
it's the Ong Bak of decapitation movies by Kloipy	Jan 29th, 2008 07:48:02 AM

Man... by Dollar Bird	Jan 29th, 2008 07:50:42 AM
How many times have I gone into a movie thinking "this seems like one of those movies where they cut a guy's dick off and shove it in his mouth and then toss him into acid."? None times, but now I know it could happen. If you want mainstream reviews by Vern, folks, you should go to his websight. Great stuff on there. His reviews of Beowulf and Cars were particularly good. Also, Vern, sorry you've been getting flak on other talkbacks. Those people, are kind of all douches. You'll only get mad love from me.
I won't see theese flicks, but... by FlickaPoo	Jan 29th, 2008 07:51:02 AM
...read the review twice. Laid back machine...dig it.
Kloipy:"it's the Ong Bak of decapitation movies" by travis-dane	Jan 29th, 2008 08:29:52 AM
funky!MILF forever man!
travis, you know it brother! by Kloipy	Jan 29th, 2008 08:40:32 AM

Dark Sky presents; Un-timely Gathering by Kloipy	Jan 29th, 2008 09:12:54 AM
Vern, you continue to make my day with each new review.
Dark Sky DVD Transfers by Matango!	Jan 29th, 2008 09:23:53 AM
Dark Sky has a bad habit of cropping their transfers on all four sides... http://tinyurl.com/2fo8xq
i wasn't going to read this by frankenfickle	Jan 29th, 2008 11:51:19 AM
because i've never heard of either movie and don't care about horror. then i saw vern's name attached and thought oh of course i have to read this. and i did. and it was awesome. thanks vern, you're always interesting.
Filmfunk by Vern	Jan 29th, 2008 12:34:11 PM
Yeah, I have to agree with you on HATCHET. I read all about it here and in the Fangoria horror magazine and it sounds like exactly the type of movie I want to see. None of that meta shit like BEHIND THE MASK, just straight-ahead sort-of retro slasher movie. But it just didn't work for me. I think maybe two of the biggest problems for me were 1. it didn't follow the traditional slasher formula of having the characters separate and get picked off one by one, which sounds fine except it means most of the movie is a big group of people standing in the same place exchanging bad dialogue. and 2. there was no atmosphere at all! It didn't look like a real swamp or like they were ever moving through the swamp. It looked like one small soundstage with some headlights shining on it. At least they got Kane Hodder to be the killer though. He was kind of a stupid character with all his dubbed in Toxic Avenger style growling, but I'm glad he wasn't some Stifler-looking dude like in BEHIND THE MASK.
Franklin... by TELF	Jan 29th, 2008 12:34:34 PM
You're in the UK? I watched a bit of Earp last night too. And Tombstone was a coupla nights before that. Tombstone is trashy but I must admit I prefer it...
Biggest problem with Hatchet... by sonnyfern	Jan 29th, 2008 04:26:36 PM
What the hell was Crowley? A ghost? A zombie? We never get any kind of goddamn rules...If they would've made him just a regular crazy, I think it would've been a lot more effective.
Vern reviews all types of movies... by Master Darque	Jan 29th, 2008 05:42:52 PM
If you haven't already, you should really check out his site -- I read that more than AICN. If I'm bored, I just go into the review archives and pick one at random. Words fail to convey how privileged we all are to be on the planet at the same time as Vern. Anyone who likes his reviews should really check out his review for "The Secret" -- truly one of the funniest things I've ever read.
aka CAULDRON OF DEATH by Missing Dink	Jan 29th, 2008 08:54:56 PM
Like I said, aka CAULDRON OF DEATH.
Master Darque by Gilkuliehe	Jan 30th, 2008 07:07:03 AM
Isn't it?! I was at this party once and this boring bitch started babbling about THE SECRET, and I kept remembering Vern's review of it, and how Gollum and Die Hard refute THE SECRET. I started laughing and I just had to tell everyone about Vern and his theory. Needless to say the boring bitch felt very insulted by me, but what's a guy to do. Thank you Vern.
Tragic Ceremony sounds like Rocky Horror by CuervoJones	Jan 30th, 2008 10:27:49 AM
Vern rocks.
Vern should have his own Coaxial here. Cuz by Stormwatcher	Jan 30th, 2008 10:26:46 PM
Truly man, he's the best reviewer on this site. Harry is good for news and opinions but not reviews. Not after giving the pass to Sum of All Fears, Armageddon, Van Helsing, ah man so much crap he likes.
Vern knows what I mean. by The-Duke-of-New-York	Feb 1st, 2008 03:36:04 AM
"Then fuck you, jack" is probably my most visited recreation website. www.geocities.com/outlawvern
Everytime I walk into a movie now... by psychedelic	Feb 1st, 2008 08:25:17 AM
I'll think, "Hmmmmm. I wonder if this is one of those movies where they chop a guy's dick off, shove it down his throat, and throw him in a vat of acid." LOL

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Vern’s Got DVD Reviews Of Two Dark Sky Cult Titles! TRAGIC CEREMONY and RICCO THE MEAN MACHINE!

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