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Two Tons Of CLOVERFIELD Reviews Rampage Onto The Site!!

PLANTS by Vesuvio	Jan 17th, 2008 05:28:36 AM
Plants, I tell ya!
Oh, and CUARON for DEATLHY HALLOWS by Vesuvio	Jan 17th, 2008 05:31:21 AM
Zemeckis for The Hobbit
It's like a birthday party... by tonagan	Jan 17th, 2008 05:32:06 AM
where all the kids take turns blowing out the candles.
Oh, I get it. This is........ by Aloy	Jan 17th, 2008 05:46:13 AM
still the dreaded viral marketing campaign at work. So clever...
Okay...so we will either love it or hate it. Like anal sex. by Mike_D	Jan 17th, 2008 05:47:12 AM
CLOVERFIELD is like anal sex.
Messi by Dr Uwe Boll	Jan 17th, 2008 06:01:15 AM
Kudo's to you sir. Your review and the second one were the only ones I bothered to read (I'll wait to see the sucker cinema-style rather than have a text-binge). Keep 'em coming!
Yawn... by MJohnson	Jan 17th, 2008 06:06:15 AM
After all of this f'in ridiculous hype, am I the only one who actually HOPES this film sucks?
Moriarty's introductions... by Tourist	Jan 17th, 2008 06:07:03 AM
...Are plain wierd. "People will either love it or hate it", except, apparently, for those who have the "perfectly valid" reaction of being indifferent or partially enthusiastic/unenthusiastic about it. Some people liked it, some didn't, amazing how just one film could provoke so many varied reactions, eh? What...Like every single other film/record/book/chinese take out meal ever produced? You have been using marijuana again. It's not good for you in the long run. Oh, and I skipped watching Cloverfield with my roommate to stay home and watch half of Blood Rayne. Jesus, I really couldn't give two fucks about Abrams blair witch knock off...But goddamn, I really should have gone.
9/11, piss, moan by tompiltoff	Jan 17th, 2008 06:08:07 AM
Deal with it. 9/11 doesn't have the monopoly on New York buildings falling down.
"we used to smarter" by BadMrWonka	Jan 17th, 2008 06:08:58 AM
that made me spit up my coffee... nothing like starting off a rant with something dumb like that and finishing it by talking about "sky scrappers" if this brain donor is the only one arguing against this in its entirety, I think we're OK.
There should be a sequel... by tonagan	Jan 17th, 2008 06:15:14 AM
where the mayor runs for president and constantly refers to Cloverfield.
Too Soon! by box	Jan 17th, 2008 06:16:16 AM
way too soon. more soon than last time. less soon than yestermorrow.
Beverly Hills 902 9:11 meets Godzilla Crab Witch by quantize	Jan 17th, 2008 06:18:49 AM
it's that simple. retards will sit and gasp the rest with a brain will accept it as a not awful failed experiment.
this is a great line from one of the reviews: by BadMrWonka	Jan 17th, 2008 06:20:15 AM
it's from the angry one, talking about what the creature looks like: "Take one part "The Host" one part "Godzilla" and one part "Aliens" and you'll get a pretty clear composite." well, no, actually I won't. that doesn't help at all...that's like saying, "my friend John looks like 1 part Ed Norton, 1 part Richard Pryor and 1 part Lucy Lui. got a clear picture? I didn't think so. never surprising that the angriest reviews also tend to make the least sense...
9/11, piss, moan by quantize	Jan 17th, 2008 06:20:52 AM
actually, shot the way and from the angles it is in Cloverfield, it fucking DOES, and it would be completely disingenuous for anyone to deny it.
PLANTS!!!!!!!!!! by J-Dizzle	Jan 17th, 2008 06:21:15 AM

He's only angry because his description is accurate by quantize	Jan 17th, 2008 06:22:17 AM
....
talkback superstar messi by messi	Jan 17th, 2008 06:26:36 AM
fuck you messi
It's something different. that's another positive by messi	Jan 17th, 2008 06:31:21 AM
I mean when do you get to see such awesome shots of a monster attacking a city, it's just fucking cool to watch. a bunch of youtube fan clips edited together, but edited well together. thus = Good movie.
Mike_D anal sex is awesome by messi	Jan 17th, 2008 06:34:16 AM
giving it at least.
Messi by Indexical	Jan 17th, 2008 06:35:12 AM
excellent review. you should submit more often.
I Fucking Loved It by MMacKK	Jan 17th, 2008 06:39:52 AM
Stellar start to '08.
'America doesn't have a monster movie to call its own' by Samson_K	Jan 17th, 2008 06:43:23 AM
King Kong, Them, The Beast from 20000 Fathoms, It came from beneath the Sea, Tremors and never, ever forget NIGHT OF THE LEPUS
9/11 and the 5 min preview by Latchkey_Kid	Jan 17th, 2008 06:48:16 AM
watch the 5 min preview. the way the buildings fall is EXACTLY how the amateur video from 9/11 looked. building collapsing, people running, smoke filling the street. the imagery is obviously derived from the same images. seems a little too similar to say otherwise. i think the way the video is shot in the movie may have something to do with how eery it all seems to be.
Latchkey_Kid by messi	Jan 17th, 2008 07:06:25 AM
It's shot really well, just perfect shots, enough shot of monster then something else, then the monster. awesomeness.
Best was the Transformers Pulp title by messi	Jan 17th, 2008 07:07:32 AM
"They came from Cybertron!" someone on this site came up with it.
Because he IS yuppie scum. by Tourist	Jan 17th, 2008 07:09:34 AM
Write what you know, after all. Glad to see J.J. Hasn't heard of King Kong or Blair Witch before. He's probally really amped up about this rare old Star Trek show he managed to dig up. Can't wait to share it with us ordinary, non young urban professional folk.
My Birthday on the 18th. by xmanse	Jan 17th, 2008 07:11:50 AM
Really excited and all that. Sing a song. Blow some candles. And then watch Cloverfield as I planned to months ago. Oh no. Wait. I can't. Because I live in the UK AND HAVE TO WAIT!!!! Fuck, this sucks so much.
Tourist by messi	Jan 17th, 2008 07:13:37 AM
it doesn't change anything, whether he thinks he's origional or stealing or whatever. the product is what matters. and the product is awesome.
Over-rated by otto maddox	Jan 17th, 2008 07:15:12 AM
I think Americans will get a lot more out of this movie with the clear allusions to 9/11. My own view - it was ok but way overhyped - the monster is like big dinosaur - and the ironic flashback at the end is unecessary. Nice bit in the subway though.
Yes messi, by Tourist	Jan 17th, 2008 07:17:16 AM
But your the halfwit who enjoyed Transformers quite a bit too, aren't you? I think I forgot to flush the toilet. You can have a sneak at that awesomeness too, if you would like.
messi? by Latchkey_Kid	Jan 17th, 2008 07:18:23 AM
i have no idea what you're trying to get across to me. i'll reserve judgement myself once i see it. all i've seen is what's online as previews/trailers/clips. but from what i've seen so far, my reservations were basically confirmed with dojo's review. bad acting, no good payoff, and poor writing. it's a shame because i love drew goddard so much.
Messi - Trek trailer by filmcoyote	Jan 17th, 2008 07:20:26 AM
Messi, sir, nice review, but how could you not mention that the voice in the Star Trek trailer saying "space, the final frontier" was Spock himself, Nimoy. I geeked out for that!
I still can't get over how it's only by Abominable Snowcone	Jan 17th, 2008 07:23:44 AM
80 minutes long. I don't recall a great film in recent memory with such a short running time. And most of it is (intentional) shakey cam? How good can it be?
MESSI by BringingSexyBack	Jan 17th, 2008 07:30:04 AM
Were they building the Enterprise at Area 51? Nice review BTW. Good to see you finally using caps. hehe
Cloverfield backstory by Orionsangels	Jan 17th, 2008 07:35:51 AM
The creature is a monster that was reeking havoc on another planet. The aliens of that planet capture it and decide to dump it on another planet. They just so happen to choose Earth. I just made this up, but I do wonder where the monster came from.
SINESTRO CORPS WAR!!! by montessaurus	Jan 17th, 2008 07:37:40 AM
Messi, I gotta give you props just for pimping that awesomeness in every talkback I see you in. Have you seen some of the Blackest Night banners made in the Newsarama forums? Good shit.
As for the reviews... by Aquatarkusman	Jan 17th, 2008 07:38:12 AM
0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 equals.... zero! Shit, you can multiply them all together and get the same result.
Honest Abe by BetaRayBill07	Jan 17th, 2008 07:45:20 AM
They have these things nowadays called Grammar Schools- check it out, please.
its all lies by Stupendous Man	Jan 17th, 2008 07:45:39 AM
plants!!!! i tell u... how can it not be a lion its imposshible!!!!!
"Found footage" not a gimmick... by Mal Carne	Jan 17th, 2008 07:50:08 AM
...one of the reasons this movie was greenlighted was that the handheld camera work kept costs very low. In between that and hiring all no-name actors, all of the rest of the money could be dumped into special effects. "Coverfield" would not have been made if was filmed with a typcial movie camera.
otto maddox by messi	Jan 17th, 2008 07:55:13 AM
a dinosaur? looked more like an alien animal creature like you'd find in green lantern.
Hate that cliche of the guy going back to rescue the girl... by Kid Z	Jan 17th, 2008 07:58:38 AM
... during a disaster. Maybe my instinct for self-preservation is stronger than most, but when a monster attacks, or global warming sends a tidal wave through Manhattan, or the aliens show up and they're pissed... it's every man, woman and child for themselves (and that's just reality). No way I'm gonna risk getting a building pushed over on my ass just to get some bangability points from some chick.
the 9/11 thing... by pdennett316	Jan 17th, 2008 08:04:46 AM
From just a practical standpoint, special FX guys are going to look at footage of the towers collapsing as a reference point for their own interpretation of a building collapsing. How often do we see buildings of that size collapse, so having a frame of reference may lead to images being similar to what occurred that day - after all, we all saw them. Further from this, do you expect people NOT to utilize themes, imagery etc. from that event? It was a huge moment in history, for that not to affect people or influence people would be impossible. Would you prefer it was never mentioned again? Forgotten in time? No way, and I doubt many people would say they would.
i'm with kid z by filmcoyote	Jan 17th, 2008 08:06:10 AM
it would be nice to believe people would be as selfless as reviewer 2 thinks but when the chips are down reviewer 2 will be shoving kids and grannies out of his way like the rest of us. Survival instinct, dude!
Kid Z by messi	Jan 17th, 2008 08:07:15 AM
dude was in love. big difference.
SO MESSI DOES THAT MEAN YOU ACTUALLY LIKE INVERTED NIPPLES? by BringingSexyBack	Jan 17th, 2008 08:08:33 AM
Nothing wrong with that. You can do stuff with them.
Monster gif (spoiler) by BobWinters5	Jan 17th, 2008 08:09:33 AM
http://img227.imageshack.us/im g227/8504/clo verfieldsmallslowhu 0.gif
ALL I KNOW IS, IF THAT GIRL DIDN'T LOVE ROB BACK by BringingSexyBack	Jan 17th, 2008 08:10:07 AM
Rob needs to throw her into Mancrablizard's feeding trough.
practical standpoint by Latchkey_Kid	Jan 17th, 2008 08:11:45 AM
i think the point of the reviewer was that he had a problem with the tastelessness of the representation. of course we should not forget the tragedy, but for it to be shown in (what may be) a crappy film IS distasteful and unfair to those who died. oh, and i like to think that i'm a better person than other people on this board. if there was a city-wide tragedy and i KNEW someone i cared for (wife, child, best friend) was in danger, i would do my best to help them. now, if i was rob and knew some girl i may/may not love is in danger, that's a different story.
great job Messi by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 08:13:22 AM
you are my new hero!
So this movie should have been THE SINESTRO CORPS WAR instead? by SpyGuy	Jan 17th, 2008 08:13:53 AM
Fine with me. REBIRTH/THE SINESTRO CORPS WAR/THE BLACKEST NIGHT would make an awesome Green Lantern film trilogy.
inverted nipples rule! by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 08:14:22 AM
you can hide coins in them
"We used to smarter." by maddox	Jan 17th, 2008 08:16:24 AM
Best line ever!
BOBWINTER - THANKS FOR GIF by BringingSexyBack	Jan 17th, 2008 08:16:29 AM
That's the spitting image of Chthulu.
KLIOPY by BringingSexyBack	Jan 17th, 2008 08:21:28 AM
You can also put tin foil inside and get better cellphone reception.
EVERYONE USED TO SMARTER by BringingSexyBack	Jan 17th, 2008 08:22:55 AM
Until they spend 3 years in Talkback. Kinda like the opposite of going to college.
Star Trek teaser by Count Magpyre	Jan 17th, 2008 08:24:03 AM
A few days ago, I read the description of the teaser on one of the Trek sites and in the 'comments' section, Bob Orci posted and called bullshit on the description. At the time, I thought it was a bit strange for a writer to be so heavily involved in the films production, but it's possible I guess. Anyway, from all the reviews above, it appears that the description was accurate, and in the span of a 30 second teaser, they've already pissed on one part of Trek history (ship being built in space). I guess this goes one step closer to confirming that the Enterprise is indeed built in Area 51 which is just mind-numbingly lame. I know there have been numerous arguements here already about the realism of constructing a ship in space, but physics alone shows that a structure of that size would collapse under it's own weight in Earth's atmospere. Anyway, I'm curious now to see what other 'debunked' rumours turn out to be true.
Here's what I think ruins the film (spoilers) by BendersShinyAss	Jan 17th, 2008 08:26:48 AM
When someone has a chunk bitten off them they generally don't start making eyes at boys. and when someone is impaled and then lifted off it, they don't forget they've just been impaled.... and generally if it was throught he shoulder, you can't run your hands through your hair as you cry "I can't believe this is happening" I liked the fake whale design better too. This creature looked like the running things from dark crystal. had this been made like starship troopers it could have been absolute gold. it was pretty trashy
SpyGuy by messi	Jan 17th, 2008 08:28:27 AM
No way man. make two trilogies first before rebith. A Hal Jordan Trilogy and a Kyle Rayner trilogy. The thing with Sinestro Corps War is that the story is heavier with all the backstory considered. with hal becoming parallax, with kyle becoming ion etc.
This just in! MiraJeff's review of Cloverfield: by DocPazuzu	Jan 17th, 2008 08:28:42 AM
Yap yap yap! Yapp yap yappity yap-yap! Cloverfield yap yap yappity yapp! Yappity yappity yap yap YAP!!! Chillax, dude!! Yap yap yap yappity yap yap YAPYAPYAP!!! Yap yap yap yap fellatio yap yap yap me yap yap like yap!! Yap yap, yap, yap -- YAP yappity yap yap. Yap? YAP!!!!
BendersShinyAss... by DocPazuzu	Jan 17th, 2008 08:31:26 AM
...used to smarter.
LOL DocPazuzu by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 08:33:14 AM
that is def. a MiraJeff review
Here's my version of the Cumpston review by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 08:34:18 AM
HOLY fucking shit man, cloverfield is like a crow that shoots vaginas out of it's eyes and shits blowjobs. 2 minutes into the movie i looked at my pants and my dick had turned into a werewolf gun that shot tits filled with napalm out of it that blew up amazon women and their ashes turned into eva mendes getting donkey punched by a smurf that had nail guns for eyes and a hat made out of taint scrapings and then I came. the end
We used to smarter by BackwardGalaxy	Jan 17th, 2008 08:35:05 AM
Anyone else find the "We used to smarter" quote ironic?
Kloipy by DocPazuzu	Jan 17th, 2008 08:35:37 AM
Wasn't that was Cumpy's review of Atonement?
either Atonement or 27 Dresses by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 08:38:22 AM

Samson_K, don by classyfredblassy	Jan 17th, 2008 08:39:04 AM

Samson_K, don't forget... by classyfredblassy	Jan 17th, 2008 08:40:50 AM
SLITHIS, MANSQUITO, the MUTANT Prophecy BEAR! American Monster Pride, Word.
What is "Cleaver" Marketing? by Mr. Profit	Jan 17th, 2008 08:49:51 AM
Is that like a 4am ginsu knife informercial? How does that relate to "Cloverfield"?
Saw The Orphanage Last Night by BilboRing	Jan 17th, 2008 08:57:36 AM
Excellent movie. Highly recommended. Can't wait to see Cloverfield.
Enough with 9/11 by friday1408	Jan 17th, 2008 08:58:05 AM
its a movie about a huge ass fucking monster attacking NYC, what the fuck do you expect it to look like? if for some reason you are offended by this, don't fucking watch it.
Pazuzu... by BendersShinyAss	Jan 17th, 2008 09:10:20 AM
.... huh?
Kloipy by messi	Jan 17th, 2008 09:11:46 AM
fuck that is some funny shit.
my review of atonement by messi	Jan 17th, 2008 09:13:36 AM
cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt. it taught me that the word cunt can fuck up your life.
The New York City Cliche by jawalker13	Jan 17th, 2008 09:13:57 AM
Is it me, or has New York become a cliche for these movies? We understand that it's big. We know that to destroy it, you need something big. Why not select other cities? Is it too hard to imagine Los Angeles being destroyed?
True Horror: Jumping from the 102nd Floor of Tower One by uss cygnus	Jan 17th, 2008 09:14:29 AM
Destroying New York is fun to watch, right Al-Qaeda? Especially when the infidels jump to avoid being burned to death, right? Get your popcorn ready!
THE ENTERPRISE WAS BUILT IN SPACE! by uss cygnus	Jan 17th, 2008 09:16:14 AM
DAMMIT! Is there a mole in Starfleet, too? A TIME-TRAVELLING mole?
messi by Mr. Nice Gaius	Jan 17th, 2008 09:16:59 AM
You magnificent Talkbacker superstar cunt, you.
Still. by The-Duke-of-New-York	Jan 17th, 2008 09:17:38 AM
Here's a still pic of the monster, from apparently the same scene. http://i13.tinypic.com/6wpalx5 .jpg
Al Queda should have used a giant monster by messi	Jan 17th, 2008 09:18:47 AM
it would have been talkback worthy.
the hype is awesome by palewook	Jan 17th, 2008 09:19:53 AM
jump lemmings, jump..
Sounds Great. by Knobules	Jan 17th, 2008 09:20:38 AM
But why does it have to be 20 something hipsters? Who cares if they get squashed? What if it was just some mom/dad with the kids on a trip or something and they had a camcorder? The whole WB pretty pricks thing is kind of a drawback.
duke of new york by BendersShinyAss	Jan 17th, 2008 09:21:27 AM
thats it. like i said, the fake whale design most of us have seen was fuckloads better
Mr. Nice Gaius by messi	Jan 17th, 2008 09:24:24 AM
hahahahaha
Hrm. by The-Duke-of-New-York	Jan 17th, 2008 09:25:55 AM
I actually quite liked the fake whale design. Though, I haven't seen the movie. According to the site I got that from, it's a real picture but doesn't really do the creature justice. But hey, that's what the theater is for, if it comes to my podunk town.
Knobules by messi	Jan 17th, 2008 09:26:26 AM
they already did the family thing in war of the worlds.
Attack of the 50 foot woman by ArcadianDS	Jan 17th, 2008 09:28:09 AM
I thought she was supposed to be the American Godzookie.
The-Duke-of-New-York by messi	Jan 17th, 2008 09:31:43 AM
does no justice, the way this thing moves and hitting buildings is fucking awesome. it's an awesome design. that looks like an alien from signs in that leaked still, but it's body is more like some alien animal that superman keeps in the fortress.
i wish we would get a review by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 09:33:15 AM
from some idiot who still thinks this is Voltron, just to read about his heart breaking
AINT IT COOL NEWS IS A COMMERCIAL by Ray Gamma	Jan 17th, 2008 09:38:57 AM
AND THE SECOND REVIEW (AT LEAST) IS DEFINITELY A MARKETING PERSONS (PLANT) IDEA OF HOW AN AUDIENCE WOULD REVIEW THIS FILM. I'M JUST ABOUT DONE WITH AICN I DON'T BELIEVE ANYTHING I READ ON THIS BULLSHIT SITE ANYMORE.
classyfredblassy by Samson_K	Jan 17th, 2008 09:40:32 AM
I'm a Brit - but am getting a bit fucked off by everyone saying that it's time American had their own monster. Has the remake of King Kong wiped out the Willis O'Brien original from everyone's mind Of course being a Brit we have GORGO!!!!!!!
My Plant review of Cloverfield (which I haven't seen yet) by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 09:46:01 AM
Sweet Mama Cass on a cracker! Cloverfield is the slam-bang thrill ride that we’ve been waiting for since the firecracker hit of Independence Day! Wow, what a white-knuckle ride this is. JJ Abrams has made a movie that made this reviewer say “Godzilla who?”. This movie is an instant classic! I’ve never been so afraid in my life! This movie is filled with chills, spills, and a whole ton of thrills! They should have called this Field Of Nightmares! Hahahaha. I’m witty! If you film it, they will come! This weekend, grab your tickets (and bring a friend to hold on to) because this movie is off the hook! If you use this you can call me Dandelion Destroyer69. Hahaha flames on Optimus (see guys I’m just like you)
Count Magpyre by Falcon5768	Jan 17th, 2008 09:48:46 AM
Well actually even if this trailer ISN'T symbolic (which people who have seen it have said it is, much more a symbolic teaser of "Under Construction" than it is truth) it wouldn't piss on Trek lore at all, The Enterprise main components WHERE in fact built at the San Fransisco Naval Fleet Yards on Earth as per "The Counter-Clock Incident." While Animated Trek is not considered canon per say, Much of it has made it into Trek lore at this point.
We do have Konga by Samson_K	Jan 17th, 2008 09:52:29 AM
We also have Queen Kong but neither of those is GORGO!!!!!
We used to smarter. - IRONIC! by astro1	Jan 17th, 2008 09:53:45 AM
I like the review that started with the "We Used to Smarter" - nice. Plus the multiple miss spellings in the review. I'm sick of people complaining about the "HYPE" of Cloverfield. Who generated the HYPE? We did. The same fucking people posting online all day about it. Don't blame JJ or Matt Reeves for fucks sakes. They put the sites up sure, but they didn't force anyone to over anaylyze every aspect of the viral marketing. moron
Drew Goddard is the new God by performingmonkey	Jan 17th, 2008 09:54:53 AM
Just check out the Lost episodes he wrote - The Man Behind The Curtain, Flashes Before Your Eyes, The Glass Ballerina, The Man From Tallahassee - basically the best ones. I hope he's doing season 4, I'm not sure. This guy's gonna rule the world one day!
classyfredblassy - PROPHECY bear mutant thing by Sir Loin	Jan 17th, 2008 09:55:04 AM
Man, that thing was scary as a kid! And who could ever forget the sleeping bag vs. rock scene, nearly soiled myself. Talia Shire's next big thing after Rocky, too. hahaha
GORGO rocked! by classyfredblassy	Jan 17th, 2008 10:14:30 AM
The Brits do "man in suit" almost as well as the Japanese. Hey, but we had "THE GIANT CLAW"!! Mutant Bear of Prophecy = most underated monster on the 70s.
when I went to see Pan's Labyrinth by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 10:16:17 AM
some guy brought his two very young children, couldn't be over 5 years old. He left very quickly after the face stabbing scene.
Count Magpyre by messi	Jan 17th, 2008 10:16:26 AM
the ship doesn't look that big, it was only the front of the ship being built from what I could tell.
Drew Goddard Gets Love for Buffy by classyfredblassy	Jan 17th, 2008 10:17:29 AM
For "Converstation with dead people" but he only wrote one of the stories in that one, the "Dawn at home with Evil Spirit" tale. The Willow and Buffy part were written by Jane and Josh. He does deserve love for "selfless" and "lies my parents told me".. good stuff.
We also do great taglines for Monster Movies by Samson_K	Jan 17th, 2008 10:22:19 AM
Queen King - 'she's in one of her moods again'
"I always judge how good a movie is by what my girlfriend says.. by Larry Sellers	Jan 17th, 2008 10:24:12 AM
pussy-whipped much? I have nothing to say about this movie. That line just...what a tool.
King Kong: The banana is appealin' by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 10:24:51 AM

Kloipy.... by just pillow talk	Jan 17th, 2008 10:25:12 AM
Now that I think about it, perhaps that was the scene that inspired 2for2true to stab people in the mouths with a pencil. Shitheels.
Messi - Running time question... by DeCypher44	Jan 17th, 2008 10:25:56 AM
Messi, great review, man. Question for you: Did the short running time have an effect? It seems that I would be a little dissapointed.
I guess that shitheel was right, Pillow by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 10:27:03 AM
2for2true, where are you? You've got some stabbin' to do now
he's probably out gang banging... by just pillow talk	Jan 17th, 2008 10:28:14 AM
Making his #2 pencil known!
he scored a 69 on his SAT's and the only answer he wrote by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 10:30:20 AM
was "Shitheel".
He stabs people with his sharp tip and erases by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 10:31:29 AM
their memory with his shitheel tactics
Last Reviewer = Dumbass by eXcommunicated	Jan 17th, 2008 10:31:46 AM
I mean. Seriously.
This movies unrealistic! by Orionsangels	Jan 17th, 2008 10:33:33 AM
No animal, creature of mass that big could support its own weight on planet earth. It would break the gound, falling into it's own sinkhole.
you got the Crypts, the Bloods, and The Graphite's by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 10:33:55 AM
#2 for real, muthafucka
or the Crips by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 10:35:17 AM
Unless their is a gang of undead pun slinging storytellers on the streets of LA
or there by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 10:35:42 AM

Orionsangels by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 10:36:34 AM
wow man
DUDE! The movies comes out tonight/tomorrow! by GibsonUSA	Jan 17th, 2008 10:37:06 AM
Why bother w/ any more (pre)reviews? Yes, I started with DUDE! intentionally.
The look of the monster/something most have missed by Dancingforever	Jan 17th, 2008 10:37:19 AM
The monster seemed to change in size throughout the film. The water sequences had him/her bigger but at the end it seemed smaller. Overall I thought the film was well done but the monster getting back up and just chasing the remaining survivors was a lame ending, as was when Hud was needlessly killed.
where are the dvds harry by ClockWorker	Jan 17th, 2008 10:38:11 AM

I don't follow... by Tourist	Jan 17th, 2008 10:38:24 AM
...Are you a crazy person messi? "but it's body is more like some alien animal that superman keeps in the fortress."? What now? Come again, I think you may have some retarded messing up the lines of communication here.
"Amazing how the same film provokes both reactions?" by Orionsangels	Jan 17th, 2008 10:39:45 AM
Reactions yes, but are they genuine reactions? I can go in hating a movie before I see it and even If I like it. I can convince myself I hated it, just not to be proven wrong.
The guerilla advertisers were out in full force for Transformers by GibsonUSA	Jan 17th, 2008 10:41:51 AM
...here on AICN. Not saying that everyone who complimented the movie was a plant, but WOW, there were a obvious flood of them here on the Talkbacks as that movie neared release...only to suddenly disappear afterwards. I wonder if it was a team in a room, or just one dude making a million identities....
damn, I thought all creature movies were realistic by just pillow talk	Jan 17th, 2008 10:42:11 AM
Time to sharpen my #2 pencil...
I blew Kloipy's mind. You're welcome by Orionsangels	Jan 17th, 2008 10:42:51 AM

I like that....the Graphites by just pillow talk	Jan 17th, 2008 10:43:57 AM
Literally putting lead in someone.
I just pitched a screenplay to Ed Norton... by ldm882	Jan 17th, 2008 10:59:59 AM
and then referenced it in a review of a completely unrelated movie. I'm a douche.
A potty mouth free review?? by boyblue	Jan 17th, 2008 11:11:00 AM
But Messi is still an angry sweary kid version of the Simpsons Comic book guy!! RIP JLA
Cap n Jack by eXcommunicated	Jan 17th, 2008 11:12:45 AM
http://tinyurl.com/ynpshl Behold. It also looks like the "red lungs on the side of the creature's head" are really just bat ears. Damn, our spies suck.
Cap n Jack 2 by eXcommunicated	Jan 17th, 2008 11:14:19 AM
http://tinyurl.com/2wckxh
how about enjoy something new? by kily	Jan 17th, 2008 11:22:25 AM
oh, GOD, so nice discussion , would you love enjoy something new...? it would be more interesting...sweet, hot....Wow writing words is not the same as catching my eyes and enjoying the hot video across the room and smiling http://multiraciallove.com
American Monster by skimn	Jan 17th, 2008 11:25:17 AM
Bring up the seventies and you gotta add The Incredible Two-Headed Transplant. Only us Americans can terrorize the world with a Rosie Grier/Ray Milland headed creature!! Oh, and for January, we could do a whole lot worse than Cloverfield and Rambo released in the same month. In fact, we have...Code Name:The Cleaner, Freedom Writers, Stomp The Yard, Bloodrayne, Last Holiday, Big Momma's House 2...you get the idea.
Just bought GL: Sinestro Corps Special by boyblue	Jan 17th, 2008 11:25:32 AM
Worst thing ever!!
you don't fuck wif 2for2true by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 11:30:15 AM
that guy will stab you in the mouth! Pillow, that was great about "putting lead into you" hahaha
Ed Norton is 2for2true by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 11:32:07 AM
the story of one man's cinematic journey filled with stabbings, penicl's, and finding the true meaning of love in the time of Ebola
Orionsangels you blew my mind just like the time by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 11:33:15 AM
I found out that if you mix yellow and blue it makes green. shocking, life changing stuff right there
boyblue by messi	Jan 17th, 2008 11:34:39 AM
you're kidding me right? one of the best single comics of this decade and last. ahh whatever, you're 15 years old. now i know not to take you seriously. you could have mentioned earier you were a young dumb fuck.
eXcommunicated... bat ears... not so much by v1	Jan 17th, 2008 11:35:18 AM
"Behold. It also looks like the red lungs on the side of the creature's head" are really just bat ears. Damn, our spies suck" Trust me, they are somehow connected to the Monster's breathing. They are NOT ears.
Some of these reviews sound like plants! by Phillyflopper	Jan 17th, 2008 11:37:00 AM
On the screening I seen here in SF on Tuesday night, it seems there were a few people who were nauseous from too much camera jerking. Which I suppose is fine, if you're a tweaker. But for most, I think it was a bit too much. But it seems like none of the early reviews are discussing this much. And the main actors, aside from Lizzy Kaplan were just too fake and pretentious. Not at all believable. But the film as a whole is entertaining, but just not as groundbreaking as some of the reviews are mentioning. If you get motion sickness, this will fuck you up.
Rifftrax.com:we don't make movie, we just suck ass by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 11:38:54 AM
anyone else tired of looking at that fucking stupid add
Ed Norton is 2for2true: Tokyo Drift by messi	Jan 17th, 2008 11:40:35 AM
Bigger, Harder, Nortonier.
Polarizing Film by v1	Jan 17th, 2008 11:43:21 AM
I've said it on other TB's, this movie has a number of reasons why some people will not enjoy it as much as I did. 1) Shaky Cam, some will hate it. 2) It does not spoon feed you the ending. There is ultimatly no explination for the Monster's arrival or departure. 3) Some 9/11 visual references. However, It polarized me into the LOVED it column. I've said it before, see it, see it soon, and see it in a theater with a KICK ASS sound system. The sound design in this film is fantastic.
Ed Norton is 2for2true: All the Pretty Pencils by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 11:43:51 AM

Ed Norton is 2for2true: The Shitheel Redemption by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 11:44:42 AM
You either get busy stabbin' or get busy dyin
v1 by eXcommunicated	Jan 17th, 2008 11:45:50 AM
While they may be something to do with his breathing (like gills maybe?) According to that gif they flap like ears. Early reports made them out to be like reptile ears or Grendel's ears from Beowulf.
My Review (No Spoilers) by mooseaka	Jan 17th, 2008 11:52:20 AM
In case 34 reviews on this website weren't enough, here is what I think the best way is to sum up the movie: The term "roller coaster ride" is one of the most overused cliches for describing an action movie, but I couldn't think of a better analogy for Cloverfield. Like with a roller coaster, after a relatively short build up (the climb), the remainder of the movie is basically non-stop action for 60 minutes, with only occasional pauses. Like with a roller coaster you don't always see the next turn or drop coming, or in this case, the monster lurching around a building, which is usually the best part. Like with a roller coaster, all the jerky movement can make you sick, but to some it can be exhilerating. Like a roller coaster you don't really get any explanation for why everything is happening, but you don't get on a roller coaster expecting much plot, do you? So, at the risk of sounding like a lame "Quote me on your movie poster" reviewer, I really liken this movie to a roller coaster. Fast, fun, scary, noisy and mostly mindless. Get on, have fun, go home.
mooseaka by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 11:55:25 AM
do they take your picture at the end of it?
Based on the leaked photos I've seen by Abominable Snowcone	Jan 17th, 2008 12:10:09 PM
Cloverfield is a Rancor. With red bat-ear lungs. Look at those big sharp teeth and small beady eyes and inverted elbows (and possibly nipples). It's a Rancor.
If they wanted realism by ATARI	Jan 17th, 2008 12:20:54 PM
They should play this movie in mono-sound, to match the crappy shakeycam. But, of course, they use super-duper sensurround!! Which, when you think about that, you will realise it is just a movie afterall.
Falcon and Messi by Count Magpyre	Jan 17th, 2008 12:23:49 PM
Thanks for the info guys :) I've read through the comments section at TrekMovie as well and discovered that it's entirely possible in Trek lore (I'm not a Trekkie myself, more of a Star Wars fan) that parts of the ship were built on Earth, specifically in San Francisco, and then assembled in space. Judging from the photos of the cast at the Cloverfield premiere, I must admit that they've picked a good bunch...they actually look like a movie-calibre crew with lots of screen presence.
The Monster Looks Like It Was Ripped From by BonerDonor	Jan 17th, 2008 12:43:00 PM

if the Cloverfield monster was sitting in front by just pillow talk	Jan 17th, 2008 12:44:27 PM
of 2for2true, he would have stabbed him in the mouth.
It looks very humanoid... like a man-bat by Rickey Henderson	Jan 17th, 2008 12:46:28 PM
anyone know what the rest of the body looks like?
For Those Who Must Know... by Abominable Snowcone	Jan 17th, 2008 12:51:50 PM
The plot is summarized on wiki. Who lives, who dies, and how...it's all there except photos of the monster.
skimn and american monsters by classyfredblassy	Jan 17th, 2008 12:54:38 PM
While I like the two headed dude, I think we are mainly talking about huge, giant monsters. The two headed dude is just kind of a freak. Now "The amazing colossal beast" and the Ants of "them", now those were some big bastards.
mazel tov on your newfound fame by the way messi by Rickey Henderson	Jan 17th, 2008 12:55:04 PM
You will use this power only for good Rickey hopes?
The Enterprise by Falcon5768	Jan 17th, 2008 12:55:41 PM
http://tinyurl.com/36uyjo First pic of the USS Enterprise from the trailer now online.
i miss the days when people here thought by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 12:59:30 PM
that the monster was in that girls hair in that picture
Rickey... by just pillow talk	Jan 17th, 2008 01:01:10 PM
Would he ever do otherwise?
I miss cthulu! by Rickey Henderson	Jan 17th, 2008 01:03:16 PM
This is so much less of an archetypal monster... And only seeing it in a few brief scenes is a pretty big let down.
bitching about the movies hype by astro1	Jan 17th, 2008 01:03:29 PM
shows how lame you are. most of you will never be happy in life. paper weights.
Hey there pillow! by Rickey Henderson	Jan 17th, 2008 01:04:35 PM
And predictions for Sunday's game? Rickey's feeling good about the Giants' defense shutting down old balls Farve...
about the TREK teaser before CLOVERFIELD by Sir Loin	Jan 17th, 2008 01:06:52 PM
If you haven't seen it yet, TREKMOVIE.com has a screencap of the new Enterprise, and she's a beaut: http://trekmovie.com/ 2008/01/17/first-official-pict ure-of-the-uss-enterprise/
Well this was helpful by 5 by 5	Jan 17th, 2008 01:07:21 PM
Some people liked it, some people only so-so'd it, and some people hated it.
USS ENTERPRISE by eXcommunicated	Jan 17th, 2008 01:11:34 PM
http://tinyurl.com/ywn8ro
i miss the days when astro1 wasn't here by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 01:12:27 PM

Damnit Sir Loin! by eXcommunicated	Jan 17th, 2008 01:12:41 PM
Scooped by 5 minutes. :( Props. But everyone, use my link, because I was smart and used tinyurl.
sorry Rickey...I'm cheering for the Pack Attack by just pillow talk	Jan 17th, 2008 01:12:43 PM
I'm hoping Grant runs through them because I sure as hell don't want the Pats to win the Super Bowl. And I think the Pack have the best shot at beating them since the Giants won't be able to match them for a second game I think, and San Diego is gonna freeze up there in Foxboro.
I wish I could tell 2for2true the impact he made in my life by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 01:14:03 PM

eXcommunicated by Sir Loin	Jan 17th, 2008 01:14:18 PM
You're not that smart, I'm just lazy =P Anyway, another link won't hurt! What did you think of the new E design?
he's the Dr. Dre of pencil stabbers by just pillow talk	Jan 17th, 2008 01:17:01 PM

I always judge how good a bowel movement is by what my girlfrien by Dr Gregory House	Jan 17th, 2008 01:17:14 PM
Guess we know who wears the dildo in that family.
Grant is a big threat by Rickey Henderson	Jan 17th, 2008 01:19:04 PM
But the Giants have a great running back in Mike Jacobs too. Sunday should be all sorts of fun to watch. As far the San Diego Chargers go: that Rivers kid is a grade-A jackass and deserves to get fucked up by the Pats. On to that Trek photo--am I nuts or does it looks like they are building the ship on earth?
Pencilmaster P by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 01:19:35 PM

Rickey Henderson by Sir Loin	Jan 17th, 2008 01:22:39 PM
There's already a mega-thread going at trekmovie.com about it, apparently, according to canon, the Enterprise was built in San Francisco but assembled in orbit. Something like that.
I FOUND A PICTURE OF 2FOR2TRUE by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 01:23:33 PM
http://images.inmagine.com/168 nwm/inspirestock/ispc025/ispc0 25007.jpg
I think Grant is the better runner by just pillow talk	Jan 17th, 2008 01:23:55 PM
Plus the Pack's receivers are better as well, so I would think that the Pack would be able to score points on the Pats. And I couldn't agree more with you on Rivers. Such a fucking idiot last Sunday in Indy tauting the fans. Perhaps he'll get his other knee banged up this week. And that's what it looks like to me, with the Enterprise being build on Earth. I hate to say it, but 2for2true would stab the Lep in the mouth with a pencil too.
ha-ha Kloipy...that's right before he loses it by just pillow talk	Jan 17th, 2008 01:25:27 PM
and impales someone in the head with that #2.
he's limber, like the cloverfield monster by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 01:27:46 PM

I wouldn't say I rejected it completely Mori... by whoopdeedoo	Jan 17th, 2008 01:27:54 PM
I was just disappointed that what we got was all there was. The hype and promotion, at least the way I saw it, was leading up to a big blow 'em up movie with these poor regular folks caught in the middle as told from their perspective. What we got was their story with the big blow 'em up stuff in the background and a distant second to the main story. I'm cool with that and like I said, for what it is it works and I liked it. BUT I just think people will be expecting more and like Blair Witch, where the ending was pretty controversial, Cloverfield will feel that same backlash but for different reasons. Blair Witch was a whole lot of boring leading up to a suspenseful shocker of an ending. Cloverfield is a ramped up car chase ending in an unexpected wreck and then ... nothing. I wanted it to be more and had been led to believe there would be more but maybe I was reading too much into the marketing. Still I'll buy it on DVD because the characters really meant something to me while I was sitting there in the theatre. I was genuinely scared for them and wanted more of their story to be told. This snapshot just didn't satisfy me enough. - The Mysterious Stranger
You know what I hate? by SebastianHaff	Jan 17th, 2008 01:39:05 PM
When people only refer to movies as FILMS. "I saw a film the other day, and the film was good. My favorite thing about the film was that it was pretty, and I like the director's other films. This was a good film." It just seems so... Billy Walsh. "I don't make MOVIES, I make FILMS!" God almighty I fucking hate Billy Walsh.
Billy Wash needs a pencil stuck in his mouth by just pillow talk	Jan 17th, 2008 01:40:40 PM
I'll call 2for2true.
Sir Loin.... by eXcommunicated	Jan 17th, 2008 01:40:50 PM
Does the Enterprise look like it has BOEING 747 JET ENGINES or is it just me? I like that they are taking a cue from the movie Enterprise rather than the TOS Enterprise. If its anything like the pearlescent movie Enterprise I'll be happy.
or Billy Walsh by just pillow talk	Jan 17th, 2008 01:41:18 PM
Fuck it...stab all the Billies you can find 2for2true.
A Free Tip For Studio Plants: by Colegegraduit	Jan 17th, 2008 01:43:12 PM
Word to plants: not everyone is William Shakespeare. People rush out of a movie and give their first impressions and as a rule those immediate posts have a LOT of typos. That rings true to me. What doesn’t ring true to me is how someone can supposedly write a perfectly spelled, worded, and paragraphed soliloquy about Cloverfield, in all but minutes after they’ve supposedly JUST seen it. That always reads like someone who had a lot of extra time on their hands…like, say, the intern with a post-it-note on their PC since Christmas reading “Send fake review to AICN about Cloverfield.” Then there's how the pro-movie posts are REALLY careful to not describe what the monster looks like, as if there was a P.S. on that same post-it-note reading: “Describe Monster=FIRED.” I’m just saying.
Behold: Enterprise picture by Heckles	Jan 17th, 2008 01:46:30 PM
Get on the ball, Harry. http://tinyurl.com/36uyjo
Now it's not a great pic... by Heckles	Jan 17th, 2008 01:47:44 PM
...but it's something...
eXcommunicated by Sir Loin	Jan 17th, 2008 01:48:58 PM
Yep, it looks awesome...perhaps the nacelle caps haven't been placed over those turbine-looking things yet. Still, looks like ILM is going to do a bang-up job.
Another link... by Heckles	Jan 17th, 2008 01:49:29 PM
Full: http://tinyurl.com/ywn8ro
Yeah, that's the new Enterprise by Abominable Snowcone	Jan 17th, 2008 01:53:06 PM
before they paint it royal blue with red racing flames.
SebastianHaff, how do you feel about Moving Pictures? by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 01:54:21 PM
if you hate them, I'll get 2for2true to pencil-mouth stab the corpse of Chaplin
I wonder if the computer voice will say... by Heckles	Jan 17th, 2008 01:54:31 PM
"My bad"
Heckles by eXcommunicated	Jan 17th, 2008 01:55:03 PM
Heckles, you've already been scooped, m8. Better luck next time.
No. 1, enrage! by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 01:55:44 PM

2for2true would stab Rambo in his chin by just pillow talk	Jan 17th, 2008 01:56:41 PM
all the while laughing and calling him a shitheel. 2for2true is for real, yo.
2for2true don't play games by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 01:57:53 PM
except for Clue. It was 2for2true in da theater, with the pencil through the mouth bitch
eXcommunicated by Heckles	Jan 17th, 2008 01:58:21 PM
Link to the pic is here already? My bad. Trying to share the geek wealth. Still a cool pic though.
I like the way the first reviewer by ewokstew	Jan 17th, 2008 02:00:23 PM
plugged the Sinestro Corps War. Good, man.
they should have covered the enterprise with a raincoat by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 02:00:34 PM

2for2true is also partial to hangman by just pillow talk	Jan 17th, 2008 02:06:21 PM
cause he can use his pencil. He always wins though cause he stabs his opponent in the neck every time. Some call it cheating, I call it knowing your enemy's weakness. Namely, they can't function with a pencil in their neck.
eXcommunicated look up by Falcon5768	Jan 17th, 2008 02:06:25 PM
I scooped you by a good 10 minutes myself
Never Leave The One You Love by onoir	Jan 17th, 2008 02:08:16 PM
Never leave the one you [LOVE] for the one you (LIKE) because the one you LIKE will leave you for the one they LOVE the one you LIKE will give you goosebumps; the one you LOVE will make you laugh and send shivers down your spine. When the one you LIKE cries, you feel sorry for them; but when the one you LOVE cries, you cry for them. True Love Doesn't Have A Happy Ending BECAUSE True LOVE Never Ends tonight your true LOVE will realize how much they love you. between 1 & 4 in the morning, tomorrow the shock of your life will occur. if you break the chain then you will have bad luck.... If you REALLY LIKE (or LOVE) SOMEONE right now AND MISS THEM and can't get them out of your head then repost this with the title"never leave the one you love
onoir, wow that was awful by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 02:10:09 PM
you deserve a pencil in the mouth
I wrote an awsome horror script.. by Ebixby	Jan 17th, 2008 02:11:32 PM
anybody wanna buy it?
In response to DoJo's review... by asinyne	Jan 17th, 2008 02:13:43 PM
I understand everyone is entitled to an opinion but, I have to say, I heavily disagree with yours. On one hand I can see where you're coming from in regards to 9/11 imagery in the film. On the other... Well, how long are filmmakers going to have to shy away from the destruction of buildings because it "looks like 9/11 all over again?" 9/11 happened and I highly doubt the filmmakers are trying to say anything that downplays that event. The thing is, its been over 6 years. Yes, it does hurt. It was a horrible tragedy that we all wish never happened but that doesn't mean the idea of a building being torn down should become taboo. Godzilla was ripping down Tokyo in the 1950's but did anyone say "Hey, buildings could really collapse. People could really die. Don't do that?" No. Because it happened 50 years before 9/11? So what? Because it didn't look real? So what? If they'd had the technology to make it look real back then they would have. Godzilla did it to New York in '98 and no one complained. Again, because it was before? Maybe everyone should boycott every film ever portraying a building collapse. By your reasoning any film that has a nuclear bomb going off should be ashamed. I mean, after all, how many Japanese people were killed during the bombings? Any movie about war? For shame! People really died in those wars. My point is, a film mirroring real-life imagery isn't a sin. Its wasn't created to mock the real-life event. In regards to a war movie, for the most part, they're made as a form of tribute. Cloverfield isn't paying tribute to 9/11 but it isn't degrading it. If anything, I think its a brave idea. Maybe we, as Americans, aren't afraid to breach the topic of 9/11 in cinema. Although 9/11 happened, Cloverfield didn't. Don't get so bent out of shape about a fictional film, a monster movie, destroying a building in New York. No one is going to forget what happened on that day.
onoir by Abominable Snowcone	Jan 17th, 2008 02:17:32 PM
Thanks, I needed to puke and clear out my stomach
godzilla on stilts? by Ebixby	Jan 17th, 2008 02:18:30 PM
http://i63.photobucket.com/alb ums/h145/Eroybixby/clfsketch2. jpg
A remake of Emmerich's GODZILLA in nauseating Shake-O-Vision by No Respectable Gentleman	Jan 17th, 2008 02:20:38 PM
... and featuring some preppie assholes to boot. I've seen it. Avoid at all costs.
Conversations with Dead People by weebay	Jan 17th, 2008 02:24:43 PM
Oh man I completely agree. CWDP is absolutely the best Buffy episode ever! If Cloverfield is as good on a movie scale we may have a classic.
[SPOILER] GIF Image of the Monster by scrapeland1	Jan 17th, 2008 02:24:59 PM
http://forums.unfiction.com/fo rums/viewtopic.php?t=23679
onoir, you just made 2for2true very angry by just pillow talk	Jan 17th, 2008 02:28:43 PM
Big mistake....hope your favorite number is 2.
FOR TRUE by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 02:31:11 PM

Maybe the US gave the monster CIA training by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 02:50:48 PM
and now it's using it on us!
A Free Tip For Studio Plants: by Colegegraduit by Snarky2	Jan 17th, 2008 02:52:49 PM
Ah . . . dude, it's called spell check. Most of us have had it for about a decade. When someone's shitting all over a movie for how "stupid" it (or it's audience) are, then punctuates it by being unable to spell the simplest words or construct sentences, I just think . . . MORON!!!
911 sensitivity by ballsxcrew	Jan 17th, 2008 02:52:59 PM
i dont understand why people ignore the parallels between this and godzilla. both films use elements from a horrific event, and put it in mainstream culture. im a cynical asshole, dont get me wrong, but the thought they are exploiting that day solely for profit shows the lack of faith in humanity as a whole. the motive of the filmakers whole is almost proven to work in what that guy said in the review above. he was in new york, and the impression that day left stuck with him forever. is that not what the filmakers are trying to do here? give those who were not there a larger life in experience (which of course wouldnt begin to simulate the terror). honestly, the whole crew behind this film did much more to honor 'merica than the new found patriots with "never forget" american flag stickers. look beyond your own selfish emotions. something happened on american soil!?!??! holy balls!!! it was an incredibly surreal day that i will remember forever, but so much happens in other countries, and the first large scale attack we've had in decades is all of the sudden the worst thing that has ever happened on earth. i love america, but i can see why the whole world hates us.
I bet 2for2true would have stabbed Lincoln with a quill by just pillow talk	Jan 17th, 2008 02:53:20 PM

Cloverfield Reviews So Far Sound Like... by That 70s Venom	Jan 17th, 2008 02:53:33 PM
Blah blah blah blah blah GREATEST MOVIE EVER blah blah blah blah PARAMOUNT FILMMAKING blah blah blah blah REDEFINES THE GENRE blah blah blah blah MASTERPIECE blah blah blah blah CORNERSTONE OF CINEMA blah blah blah blah blah J.J. ABRAMS COCK IS BURIED DEEP IN MY ASSHOLE blah blah blah blah
Actually Jett, you're 100% wrong by Rickey Henderson	Jan 17th, 2008 02:54:58 PM
Godzilla was created in the 1950's as a DIRECT RESPONSE to Hiroshima. The Godzilla character is in large part a manifestation of Japanese anxieties of living in the atomic age. The monster is supposed to be a warning on man's tampering with nature by splitting the atom. So to respond to what you said, Godzilla is inextricably entwined with the Hiroshima bombing. This Cloverfield movie does pretty much the same thing with 9-11. It hits on the same notes and subconscious anxieties that we have, even 6 years later. Our lizzard brains, if you will. Is it manipulative? Yep, but then again, every time you walk into the theater you're being manipulated by a director. Wake up. Whether or not it's too soon(!) well, that's for the individual to judge I guess...
stabbed Lincoln with a quill by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 02:55:54 PM
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Pillow, did you know that if by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 02:58:19 PM
you say "shitheel" 3 times in a mirror, 2for2true comes out and stabs you in the mouth with a pencil???
cloverfield is good by slappy jones	Jan 17th, 2008 03:00:00 PM
its a short, fun time at the movies. if you want to over analyse it and go overboard then you might wind up disappointed but if you just want to see a film that focuses on a small group of survivors during a giant monster attacks on new york then you can't really go wrong here. my favorite part?? only those who have seen will know what I mean but "exploding girl". that was great. Some of the acting is shakey at times and I really don't think the love story added much to it. it doesn;t detract either but considering how much carnage and mayhem ensues its a small price to pay and thinking about it it does add to the film as a whole in the long wrong. A good night at the movies. I think word of mouth will be strong.
oh and jett....godzilla was totally meant to by slappy jones	Jan 17th, 2008 03:01:48 PM
invoke thoughts of hiroshima. its kinda the whole point....and for you people who get motion sickness...well put it this way if you don;t like shakey cam this thing makes the bourne films look like david lean shot them so you might want to take some pills
MBAs would run like rats... by conspiracy	Jan 17th, 2008 03:05:22 PM
if a giant monster attacked their city. As I said before..people run when a fire cracker explodes...I've heard of parents leaping out of windows and abandoning the kids in a burning house; hell even trained professionals run like panic riddled animals when faced with certain death. To ask us to believe that the characters in Cloverfield would knowingly return to seek out someone, or have the presence of mind to film the event let along string together complete humorous sentences given that a GIANT MONSTER is terrorizing the city, is just to much to ask for. For fucks sake they left NY like rats leaving a sinking ship after 9/11...and thats after they knew what had happened and that further attack was unlikely. A horrific even to be sure, but a plausible one that they could wrap their minds around and understand on some level and they STILL ran. Now imagine these same people not running given the out of this world events of Cloverfield. If your going to do something like this...at least make it believeable..make them cower in terror, puking and shitting themselves, affraid to move or speak their eyes red from tears of terror, strangling crying babies for fear the sound will bring the beast, as they pray for death to deliver them from debilitating horror. THATS what Cloverfield should have been.
Oh..and Slusho... by conspiracy	Jan 17th, 2008 03:14:58 PM
Here is what I think... The Monster is the "littlest whale" who is missing after she went looking for the tastiest ingredient, was infected by it, and transformed into the beast. The reason it is attacking is because the Slusho company was mining this ingredient for its new drink and woke it from the long sleep. Which basically makes Cloverfield a tale of Monster attacks due to Corporate greed...just as Godzilla was Monster attacks due to Nuclear War Just my guess..and I seriously hope I'm wrong..as it would just be gawd damned stupid.
I like by Kragmose	Jan 17th, 2008 03:17:37 PM
How these people get to see the movies soon, and Mori/Quint/Massa does not.
Colegegraduit by messi	Jan 17th, 2008 03:22:22 PM
you know it's entirely possible that the movie was actually good.
you where out by 10 Messi!! by boyblue	Jan 17th, 2008 03:33:42 PM
Im 25!! I read that comic and it has it's moments, OK, but it's nothing special! Wouldnt make a good film either! And judging by your libral sprinkling of the word Cunt!! Your an American who has only recently been aquainted with the word, and cant help saying it! Much like my 5 year old kid when he learnt the word fart, he wouldnt stop saying it!! And cunt only sounds right with an English accent!! I will be seeing Cloverfield though!
If godzilla was done right by Ebixby	Jan 17th, 2008 03:35:51 PM
it would own all the disaster movies.. Demon godzilla from GMK done in cgi, have a battle with a mutated whale or some shit...boom box ofice gold.. What if Spielberg or Proyas directed?
if proyas directed by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 03:37:45 PM
it would have the monster playing guitar on the rooftops
ok Del Toro directs godzilla.. by Ebixby	Jan 17th, 2008 03:42:59 PM
he did a great job with hellboy.
agreed by Kloipy	Jan 17th, 2008 03:45:49 PM

BSB by TerryMalloy	Jan 17th, 2008 04:04:52 PM
Didn't you see this movie? What did you think?
I love how half the fucks in this forum... by Fleet	Jan 17th, 2008 04:21:05 PM
...are bitching and moaning about a movie they still haven't even seen... When us aussies posted reviews in the forums two days before you guys did, including posting sketches of the monster, at least we knew what we were talking about - I can't believe there are still people sitting here saying "But actually TELL US what the monster looks like..." or "You must only get glimpses of the monster, because noone seems to be able to tell us what it looks like properly..." - Un...fucking...believeable!
how cool was that frakn BAD ROBOT logo... by couP	Jan 17th, 2008 04:28:55 PM
god i loved seeing that on the big screen. go see the movie, it is ridiculously good.
everyone copied me! by BadMrWonka	Jan 17th, 2008 04:29:29 PM
I was the first "used to smarter" post... doofuses...
I used to smarter too. by DeadPanWalking	Jan 17th, 2008 04:35:41 PM
Plant, plant, plant, plant, plant and ... oh yeah: plant. The grass roots marketing campaign for this is without shame. And how can this be found footage if I am right not looking at the complete undecapitated statue of liberty?
DeadPanWalking by TerryMalloy	Jan 17th, 2008 04:40:37 PM
Because it's a movie? And it's fake? Maybe?
"according to that Gif" by v1	Jan 17th, 2008 04:46:40 PM
"While they may be something to do with his breathing (like gills maybe?) According to that gif they flap like ears. Early reports made them out to be like reptile ears or Grendel's ears from Beowulf." I saw a screening of Cloverfield on Tuesday, and trust me, those are not ears. There is a specific scene where you can clearly see the Monster (whatever the Fuck it is, because I could not really tell you) very clearly, and as you hear it breath, those sacks SWELL up and deflate, not flapping forward and backward. It is very distinct and obvious when you see the film, that they are in some way related to the breathing process.
V1...Again, something we explained to this site... by Fleet	Jan 17th, 2008 04:48:43 PM
...about two days ago now...
THE HOST Is The Greatest Giant Monster Movie Ever Made by LaserPants	Jan 17th, 2008 04:49:47 PM
Followed by GODZILLA (that is, the original). I have no doubt that CLOVERFIELD will be good, but I've already heard too much that sounds completely irritating and stupid to make me love it. I'm pretty sure that I'll like it, though, just not love it.
Sorry above post not so clear by v1	Jan 17th, 2008 04:52:20 PM
I was qouting eXcommunicated, then following with my own response. Hope that helps as you read it.
Never Cleave The One You Glove by LaserPants	Jan 17th, 2008 05:03:17 PM
Never cleave the one you fist fuck with a [GLOVE] for the one you (LIKE) to make swallow your urine because the one you LIKE to force to swallow your urine will leave you for the one they fist fuck with a GLOVE the one you LIKE to make swallow your urine will give you gonorea; the one you fist fuck with a GLOVE will make you laugh and send shivers down your taint. When the one you LIKE to make swallow your urine cries, you enjoy how much you humiliated them; but when the one you fist fuck with a GLOVE cries, you cry with lustpain. True Glove Doesn't Have A Happy Ending BECAUSE True GLOVE Never Ends tonight your true GLOVE will realize how much they enjoy being fist fucked with a Glove by you. between 1 & 4 in the morning, tomorrow the cock of your life will occur. if you break the chain of consensual sexual abuse/torture then you will have bad luck going to the bathroom with any dignity.... If you REALLY LIKE to penetrate (or GLOVE) SOMEONE nice and toit and willing right now AND PISS ON THEM REGULARLY and can't get them out of your toilet then repost this with the title"never cleave the one you glove cause you could go to jail if you take your sex death fetish too far.
Laser Pants by That 70s Venom	Jan 17th, 2008 05:05:18 PM
I love The Host too. Great fuckin movie. I own it on Blu-Ray.
Is this not a Voltron movie then? by godhatesyou	Jan 17th, 2008 05:05:47 PM
Is a Voltron movie being made? I was sure I read somewhere that this was it...
Dojo, you fucking pussy by Sodomy Redux	Jan 17th, 2008 05:09:48 PM
Oh wah wah wah they used buildings collapsing in a "monster attacks new york" movie and it reminds my poor damaged psyche of 9/11. Get the fuck over it asshole! People are still using the invocation of that awful day to get away with all kinds of shit and butt-hurt cowards like yourself are still letting them. As for the reviewer who wrote "soon to be invaded Iran" fuck you too buddy! No intelligent American wants a fight with Iran, just our dumbshit president and his rich asshole friends with equity stakes in military-industrial companies (plus the Fox News mouthbreathers). And it's a democracy where only Congress has the power to declare war and can remove the president if he doesn't listen to them, and those congressional assholes are still elected by us! So you can still do something about it! Douche.
Here's the Cloverfield monster--- REAL by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz	Jan 17th, 2008 05:11:11 PM
http://tinyurl.com/24z3db
by JillianneSix	Jan 17th, 2008 05:12:53 PM

Ghost of Nixon by JillianneSix	Jan 17th, 2008 05:14:20 PM
Dude, if it is Voltron, I want to know what we did to piss him off? Wasn't Voltron a good guy?
In response to asinyne's post about DoJo's post by v1	Jan 17th, 2008 05:19:36 PM
asinyne, (love the screen name by the way) I'd like to piggy back on your thoughts about the obvious parallels to 9/11 that are seen in Cloverfield. My girlfriend and I discussed that exact thing after seeing the movie. What we decided is this, prior to 9/11 most American moviegoers did not have a strong frame of reference as to what the collapse of a skyscraper would look like. Obviously now, it is ingrained in my memory. For film makers the choice then becomes: a) Cut a scene like that entirely out of the movie. That is not very practical in a Monster attacking a city movie, nor would it make for a very compelling attack. b) Include the scene, but make it look different. That is not practical either. We all know what it looks like, we’ve seen it and won’t forget what it looks like. I never realized how much dust is created when an event like that occurs. Post 9/11 you can’t have a building in a movie collapse and simply ignore the dust cloud racing down the street (especially in a first person POV film). It’s strong imagery for some, but anything else would just plain look fake. c) Include the scene in the movie and offend some audience members. I don’t really see how any self respecting film director could choose option a or b.
I'm sure Fox news will say this movie is some by skywalkerfamily	Jan 17th, 2008 05:22:13 PM
liberal view of the 9 11 events.
are there scenes that look a little 9/11-iny? by slappy jones	Jan 17th, 2008 05:25:29 PM
yes but if you are offended by it or hurt by it now close to seven years on i think you might want to go and get some help. Not being rude of mocking but if this film offends you due to the imagery looking a little bit like september 11 then go and talk to a professional because you really should be over it by now.
My roommate got back... by Tourist	Jan 17th, 2008 05:26:26 PM
...So I asked him how it was. His response was, "Oh, pretty good I guess". Which means, in his garbled fanboy lexicon, poor to average. In the world of Abrams, he gave MI3 an even more enthusiastic review. So, I'm leaning towards poor. But it will make for a good rental should I want to piss my girlfriend off by renting crap no one else can enjoy, thereby getting the room to myself.
oh and conspiracy can I let you in on something by slappy jones	Jan 17th, 2008 05:30:02 PM
...in movies they do this thing called "make believe". Have you heard of it? Its new to me as well but as I understand it it is a totally crazy concpet but when they make these "movies" they generally fill them with things that are not real. Like GIANT FUCKING MONSTERS or guys bitten by genetically altered spiders whihc then make him develop super powers like that of a spider. they also have people do things that most people probably wouldn;t do to help service the story. or filmS like this woul;d be FUCKING BORING. theres i plenty of reality out there pal....go for a walk..head into town. movies are fake. always have been...always will be.
and yes I am the world worst typist by slappy jones	Jan 17th, 2008 05:30:41 PM
sorry.
Sodomy Redux by TerryMalloy	Jan 17th, 2008 05:31:50 PM
If I lost a family member, would you tell me to get the fuck over it and refer to my poor damaged psyche?
I am someone on NPR... by classyfredblassy	Jan 17th, 2008 05:34:05 PM
Will say this is the Necons projecting Islamophobia fears on people to get their vote. Damn moonbats have the answer for everything.
The Only Moonbats I See Here by LaserPants	Jan 17th, 2008 05:38:24 PM
Are the ones who have to CONSTANTLY bring their half-formed propagandist political opinions here rather than leaving them on the unintelligible kneejerk rightwing and/or leftwing nutjob blog they read it on. And this goes for both sides, since both sides appear to be completely full of shit. Not to mention retarded.
RIghtwing Nutjobs Vs. Leftwing Nutjobs by LaserPants	Jan 17th, 2008 05:40:21 PM
Who cares who win? They both fucking suck and should go away immediately. Although, admittedly, leftwing nutjobs throw better parties and have better drugs. They also have more sex.
I agree that the government by TerryMalloy	Jan 17th, 2008 05:41:04 PM
and other entities have used 9/11 as a rationale for a whole lot of f'd up things. As far as the film and its allusions to 9/11, I haven't seen it yet so I won't comment. Showing a building collapsing is not really offensive in and of itself. But trying to exploit people's memories of 9/11 for sheer entertainment kind of is, no?
Politics Are Teh Pointless! by LaserPants	Jan 17th, 2008 05:42:59 PM
I vote for whomever sucks less than the other asshole just like everybody else.
Seems The 9/11 Allusions Are Apolitical by LaserPants	Jan 17th, 2008 05:44:50 PM
It looks like 9/11, it sounds like 9/11, but it doesn't seem to have any political bent whatsoever. It seems to evoke the fear and terror of the day without a political axe to grind. Of course, I'm sure some retards will read all kinds of stuff that aren't there because they have too much time on their hands.
Laserpants by TerryMalloy	Jan 17th, 2008 05:48:39 PM
Isn't it worse to have the pointless, apolitical allusions?
Why? by LaserPants	Jan 17th, 2008 05:53:42 PM
I mean, if you lived in New York at the time, it was scary as fuck regardless of whether you identify yourself as a progressive or a neocon.
Anyone have any clue if "You can't drink just 6" has any double by cromwell1666	Jan 17th, 2008 05:55:46 PM
I was wondering from day 1.
Double meaning i meant by cromwell1666	Jan 17th, 2008 05:56:57 PM
thanks
That's not what I'm saying by TerryMalloy	Jan 17th, 2008 05:57:12 PM
I'm saying isn't it worse to go, "Hmm...let's just scare the fuck out of people by making it all look like 9/11. Let's exploit people's fears! It'll be even scarier if you were there" Not saying they did that but isn't that worse then "I'm going to make a smart, political movie that does show destruction in way similar to 9/11 but is done to make a comment on human nature".
I used to smarter. Now I not as. by SkeletonParty	Jan 17th, 2008 06:01:23 PM
Alot.
Monster is called "Clovey" by SkeletonParty	Jan 17th, 2008 06:05:07 PM
Or Mcloven.
Do you like gay movies? by TerryMalloy	Jan 17th, 2008 06:07:56 PM
You might be gay. Take the quiz.
I just saw that ad by TerryMalloy	Jan 17th, 2008 06:08:47 PM
on boardrea der.com and laughed out loud. Wanted to share with you fine folks. That's all.
Oh I Get You Now TerryMalloy by LaserPants	Jan 17th, 2008 06:11:28 PM
Personally, I'm a big fan of exploitation, empty or otherwise, so, it doesn't bother me and I don't think anything is wrong with it. If anything, I think its smart to manipulate people in this way if you're trying to make a horror movie which, at their core, are always about manipulation and exploitation of people's collective fear (well, the successful ones anyway). In short, I do hear what your saying, but sometimes trying too hard to make a big political point backfires in a major way.
Agreed by TerryMalloy	Jan 17th, 2008 06:16:59 PM
That trying to make a political point can backfire. I do not have a problem with exploitation either since it is inherent to filmmaking. But exploiting an event like 9/11 gives me the heebyjeebies. And by heebjeebies I mean diarrhea.
'America doesn't have a monster movie to call its own' by EvilDoeR	Jan 17th, 2008 06:18:15 PM
AND HIS NAME IS OJ SIMPSON!!
I miss the days by astro1	Jan 17th, 2008 06:27:44 PM
when Kloipy was funny. Besides being a predictable douche bag he doesn't have much to offer.
''We used to smarter'' by FILMFUNK	Jan 17th, 2008 06:28:26 PM
Classic! and Blair Witch was shiiiiiiiiite!
filmfunk by BadMrWonka	Jan 17th, 2008 06:37:15 PM
congrats, you are the 435th talkbacker to mention that. I was the first, I made a joke, and that should have been that. no one even reads the talkbacks anymore before posting...
Yobo by TerryMalloy	Jan 17th, 2008 06:51:31 PM
Do you pimp E.T? Cause I want some of that.
I allready had sex with CLOVY... by travis-dane	Jan 17th, 2008 06:58:38 PM
I love Clovy`s huge MANTITS!He could shave his crack though!
E.T. is one mean little alien... by travis-dane	Jan 17th, 2008 07:04:32 PM
and he never swallows!But his behind is like a big bowl of chocolate pudding!
What about three boob chick by TerryMalloy	Jan 17th, 2008 07:05:19 PM
from Total Recall? That's what I'M talkin about!
Shave his crack and I pay Yobo... by travis-dane	Jan 17th, 2008 07:07:28 PM
all that hair was...I dont know?There where some things in it...hhhmmmmm.But it was fun,he growls a lot.
RE:"three boob chick"... by travis-dane	Jan 17th, 2008 07:14:45 PM
the midget lady was hotter!
CHICK FLICK by Evilgod005	Jan 17th, 2008 07:19:19 PM
enuff said
I just got an image in my head by TerryMalloy	Jan 17th, 2008 07:19:25 PM
of the predator having sex and I nearly vomited. Can we please stop this line of talking? Or should we continue?
Mysterious Yobo:does the Predator swallow? by travis-dane	Jan 17th, 2008 07:22:09 PM
just wanna know?He seems so masculine!
Did somebody say midgets? by caruso_stalker217	Jan 17th, 2008 07:23:08 PM
http://tinyurl.com/ylgorv
caruso:the dude in the red shirt should play... by travis-dane	Jan 17th, 2008 07:28:12 PM
Superman in the JLA movie and the other one is the Nightcrawler in the Wolverine movie.
Mysterious Yobo:yummie.I bet his jizz is green.. by travis-dane	Jan 17th, 2008 07:35:00 PM
or not?
The movie is shit,but it'll be good reading Moriarty's analysis by BDuncan	Jan 17th, 2008 07:35:02 PM
The movie is shit (having seen it myself in Australia), but it'll be good reading Moriarty's analysis of it, compared to Harry and Massa's mediocre reviews of the film.
You guys are puerile pigs by TerryMalloy	Jan 17th, 2008 07:35:48 PM
And I am leaving to go come on my girlfriend.
I knew a girl in high school... by caruso_stalker217	Jan 17th, 2008 07:36:46 PM
...who wanted to start a midget rental service. I thought that would be a pretty cool idea. I heard Pred jizz tastes like iguana piss.
Predators Maw Is Like A Vagina Dentata by LaserPants	Jan 17th, 2008 07:40:52 PM
aka "pussy with teeth". Sounds dangerous! I wouldn't mind fucking that Blue Twilek Jedi, though, and since she's a Jedi, that means she's a virgin! Which, okay, she'll suck in bed, but her blue vagina will be noice and toit. TOIT!
RE:"like iguana piss",but not so sweet. by travis-dane	Jan 17th, 2008 07:41:06 PM
and it smells funny.
I heard Pred cum is so thick... by caruso_stalker217	Jan 17th, 2008 07:42:51 PM
...it oozes out like Play-Dough.
Your dad by TerryMalloy	Jan 17th, 2008 07:43:04 PM
is a wise man.
Mysterious Yobo:your dad knows the truth... by travis-dane	Jan 17th, 2008 07:43:17 PM
wise man.
JJ's entire career summarised perfectly.. by quantize	Jan 17th, 2008 07:44:08 PM
And inside the box...there's another BOX gassssssssp, now that's great story telling! please fuck off right up the same sphincter Shaymalan went.
American imperialism made the Cloverfield monster hate us by Darth_Inedible	Jan 17th, 2008 07:44:32 PM
Rumsfeld depth charged the marianas trench-LOOK IT UP
Jedi virgins are heavy bleeders... by travis-dane	Jan 17th, 2008 07:45:28 PM
but since it is blue it is ok. And she sure has some Jedi power to clean up the mess!
No more porn in HD-DVD... by Mindworm22	Jan 17th, 2008 07:50:59 PM
:::sigh::: http://www.mcvuk.com/news/2936 1/Now-HD-DVD-is-losing-the-por n-war
They Had Porn In HD? by LaserPants	Jan 17th, 2008 07:59:01 PM
Thats actually kinda gross. You could probably see every stretch mark, cold sore, lymph node, and pimple through the plastic surgery. Nasty!
Nothing more believable... by genro	Jan 17th, 2008 08:12:05 PM
...than a monster eating a camera.
Holy Crap... by digitalcos	Jan 17th, 2008 08:33:20 PM
Does anyone really need to read that many reviews of a movie? I mean, go see it or don't go see it. If you need to read all of these to help you decide than God help you. Oh, by the way, I heard you're all looking forward to Meet the Spartans. Ha!
Bootleg links...easily way more scarey by quantize	Jan 17th, 2008 09:10:19 PM
but just as predictable :-P
Wow! by JillianneSix	Jan 17th, 2008 09:13:31 PM
That was informative.
time for some spaz to post the Ghostbusters one again by quantize	Jan 17th, 2008 09:21:31 PM
please
DID SOMEBODY SAY LION? by 'Cholera's Ghost	Jan 17th, 2008 09:40:02 PM
[cups ear to the crowd] Aw yeah. You people just don't learn do you. Yo dis is C.Ghost givin' a shoutout to all da Cloverfield muthafuckas out there who KNOW this shit is gonna be a Lion. Now all the hot shawties let's get fou' on da flo' and watch me kick dis! B, b, b, b I, i, i, i G, g, g, g L, l, l, l I, i, i, i O, o, o, o N, n, n, n LION! We can dance like a lion He is the king of beasts And when he starts growin' Destruction he’s sowin' Takes down buildings like a wildebeest Say, we can dance like a lion We can take part in the hunt Predatory cat will own your ass Now everybody’s on the run We can dance like a lion New York City is now his jungle Watch him eat yo’ peeps up and down the street Kill your main dude and your uncle Say, we can dance, we can dance And I doth quote “[It is] huge” We can dance, we can dance Lookin’ for a bridge to chew We can dance, we can dance He’s breakin the convenience store glass We can dance, we can dance Blood fillin' all your safari pants It’s the Lion Dance The Lion Dance The Lion Yeah! It's the LION DANCE!!!
Star Wars: Special Edition by Gungan Slayer	Jan 17th, 2008 09:55:54 PM
Everyone realize here that Star Wars: Special Edition still holds the best opening weekend for the month of January, set over ten years ago? lol Sadly, Cloverfield is bound to break that record. Damn it.
boyblue by messi	Jan 17th, 2008 10:43:55 PM
hey pommy cunt. i'm not american. and cunt sounds better in another accent even better than english(whichever english). and you're a dumb cunt. Sinestro Corps war would make a good movie. you do realize that was only the first issue you dumb fuck. there are 10 more issues. fuck this cunt astounds me. but he likes superman returns so i guess it makes sense.
The monster reminded me of... by Gym	Jan 17th, 2008 11:00:35 PM
...that little lizardy thing in Mortal Kombat that jumps into the chest cavity of a statue and becomes Reptile. Really liked the film overall. One moment near the end made it seem a little less "realistic", where the monster gets a close up. Can't complain though. The bombing scene is now one of my favourite things, ever.
Peter Travers says the film is a big disappointment by Rain505	Jan 18th, 2008 12:09:09 AM
Now that the fanboy hype has cleared, we can see Cloverfield for what it is : borrowed inspiration, trite screenwriting and amateurish acting all in the service of a ballsy idea — that a horror movie could maybe, just maybe, have a soul. As it turns out, Cloverfield's virtues are all mechanical, but, hot damn, what it might have been. According to the thinking of producer JJ Abrams, a rabid Godzilla fan, a monster attacking Manhattan might be a cathartic way for audiences to process their lingering fears about the events of September 11th. No politics, just the raw terror of an alien attack, jangling our nerves the way Japan's 1954 Godzilla evoked panic over the atomic bomb. Cloverfield looked good on paper, and for much of its breathlessly short running time it looks mighty good onscreen. The tech boys really strut their stuff. The monster, seen in glimpses, looms menacingly. And those crablike parasites that pop off the Big Boy's hide are manic creepazoids that rate high on the ick meter. But the movie keeps hinting at a profundity — a core of feeling — that never comes. Look, I'm not that bothered that the structure of the movie is lifted from The Blair Witch Project — we're watching digicam footage found in the aftermath of destruction. It's the YouTube-ification of Hollywood — let it roll. What galls me is that Abrams, whose first feature was the underrated Mission Impossible III, has gathered his TV team — director Matt Reeves, who worked with Abrams on Felicity and screenwriter Drew Goddard, who toiled with Abrams on Lost and Alias – to create characters that literally define vacuity. These twentysometings, whom the script spends fifteen minutes letting us hang with, are instead people we'd like to hang. Where's Juno when you need her? It all starts with a party. The guest of honor is Rob (Michael Stahl-David), a careerist about to move to Japan (nice Godzilla name-check) to cement his status as a hateful yuppie. To record the doings for posterity, Rob's brother Jason (Mike Vogel) assigns his buddy Hud (TJ Miller) to tote around a camcorder. Assorted drunks and a hottie named Lily (Jessica Lucas) provide the forced testimonials. We even get to see Beth (Odette Yustman), the girl getting the sayonara from Rob, arrive to taunt him with her new guy and Hud, who spends most of the movie behind the camera as our YouTube guide for the entire ride, flirts with Marlena, played by Lizzy Caplan with an energy not found in the DNA of the other cast members. For all the boozing, posing and macking, these characters move around like walking MySpace profiles who don't get any hits. By now, anyone who doesn't dote on Gossip Girl will be begging for the monster to show up and stomp these annoying nonentities. The lizard king arrives on cue. We don't see all of him at first, but we hear him roar, knock down buildings and send the head of the Statue of Liberty rolling down a street right in front of our party crowd. And then, boom, down goes the Brooklyn Bridge with a smack of his tail. The fireworks are something to see, with soldiers firing at something unwoundable. To the film's credit, it even gets off a few images that qualify as poetic, like the shot of a horse-drawn carriage without a driver moving slowly toward Central Park, where the military runs its rescue operation under the code name Cloverfield. There's lots of running and ducking and screaming that holds to PG-13 strictures, meaning you hear, "Oh, shit" instead of "Oh, fuck." Through it all, Hud documents the devastation with herky-jerky camerawork that suggests video images of Iraq and a bulldog tenacity that Werner Herzog would envy. About the dizzying visuals: If the movie had lasted another half-hour, you'd barf. But eighty minutes of woozy is just right. Miller did some of the shooting himself; the rest was done by cinematographer Michael Bonvillain and a team of experts pretending to be inexperienced bunglers. The gimmick that would make Michael Bay blush involves the fact that Hud is taping over footage showing Rob and Beth in their happier days. Let Hud put down the camera for a sec, and up comes just the appropriate shot of our lovers making like Leo and Kate in Titanic. Nothing like a little shameless emotional manipulation to spark a movie that's already treading risky ground by exploiting a global tragedy for thrills. At least there's no Celine Dion ballad to drag us down to emo hell. We are meant to feel the heartache as Rob and the gang trudge through a dark subway tunnel on Spring Street to Central Park South. It's here that Rob, suddenly unselfish and loving, sets out to save Beth, now trapped in her fancy apartment high up (of course) in the Time Warner Center. The scene is an FX triumph that you don't believe for a second. And though the cast starts falling prey to disaster one by one, there is a bright side: less cringeworthy banter. One character, watching Manhattan on fire, announces that this is "serious shit." He's half right. I've heard the excuse that people running for their lives rarely stop to be pithy. Duly noted. But I'm not ready to concede that it's impossible to make a monster movie with a meaning that cuts deep and characters we can see ourselves in. In 2006, South Korean director Bong Joon-Ho did just that with The Host, a film of transfixing power that used the concept of a beast rising from a river of toxic waste (America's fault) to invade the very notion of family values.
Peter Travers has a big moustache by messi	Jan 18th, 2008 12:44:11 AM
so i don't trust that guy.
Mysterious Yobo by messi	Jan 18th, 2008 12:46:06 AM
maybe to some people. the monster has no agenda but just being in new york and incidently fucking shit up.
Hey kids, something neat. by The-Duke-of-New-York	Jan 18th, 2008 01:05:25 AM
This is the after-credits message. Reversed, of course, but really sounds too clear to be coincidence. http://boomp3.com/m/bd034dfca3 70 Pretty creepy if you know what they do to the island at the end. But I could be DUMB.
Origin of Monster in last shot? SPOILER by Emit Brown	Jan 18th, 2008 01:13:19 AM
In the last shot of the movie, where we see old footage left on the camera of our leading man and lady in Coney Island, something falls from the sky behind them and smashes into the water. Did anyone else see this? It was subtle. Could it be our creature plumetting from outer space a few weeks earlier? Could it be a meteorite with the bacteria that may have unlocked the monster from a microscopic stasis? Someone use this modern day technology and grab a clip of this end shot. Post here for further analysis. Anyone else catch it? Also, I think there are many, many of the big monster and that is where the term cloverfield comes from (they pop up everywhere much like clovers in a field). I predict a sequel with a more hollywood (non-found footage) feel that reveals our two leads are still alive and perhaps Jason as well. If this makes bank, which it will, sequel here we come. which i would not mind...but lets see the monster more than 2 minutes total.
As far as the splash... by The-Duke-of-New-York	Jan 18th, 2008 01:18:43 AM
This is what I posted on the IMDB board about it. "IIRC, that's supposed to be the satellite mentioned in the side-story stuff, not Cloverbeast. If it crashed that close a month or whatever before, why didn't it attack earlier? Could have attracted it, I guess? Plus, the size of the thing crashing at such high velocity into water would have A. Caused a HUGE splash, and B., since it was affected, if only a little, by rockets and bombs etc., killed it or seriously f*cked it's day up. Additionally, sonar images and the fake newscasts all place it WAY away from Coney when it breaks down Chuai station, which means even if it was the thing that landed, it would have had to swim to Chuai, pull it down, and then swim back to the East Coast of the United States. More likely, Tagruato's drilling and general reputation as an evil company (gun-toting ninjas, the capture of Teddy, etc) stirred it awake." But I take my genre WAY too seriously. Being a loser, and all.
HOLY SHITSQUEEZE MOTHERFUCK!!!!!!! by theredtoad	Jan 18th, 2008 01:19:54 AM
That movie kicked my ever living ass to all holy hell. If watching Cloverfield doesn't make me feel like I'm in the middle of a Half-life 2 movie I don't know what it does.
Duke of New York, you're A-number-1...BUT... by Emit Brown	Jan 18th, 2008 01:24:59 AM
Yah...you take this stuff way too seriously and have overthought it methinks. I assume all that info you just posted is from the viral marketing. as one who did not take part in all that, I would assume that they want the movie to make sense to the average viewer that did not take on any of the viral websites. in which, case, the sequel will have a scene where some military dude zooms in on the last shot and freeze frames on the splash. then lutenant Columbo steps in and says "one more question sir..." Wouldn't you pay to see Peter Faulk as Columbo in a genre flick?!
Well... by The-Duke-of-New-York	Jan 18th, 2008 01:28:30 AM
I was really into everything for the first month after the trailer, and only in the past 3 days or so have I gotten back into it. But I can give a Terminator timeline and defend it, so yep, I overthink things.
okay...now that I vented I can breathe by theredtoad	Jan 18th, 2008 01:31:09 AM
Just got back from seeing Cloverfield at midnight. Great stuff. First off, you guys will be laughing your asses off at how long you've been pining over the smallest of footage or pics, trying to interpret what the monster might or might not be. I call it a Gilamonster after seeing it at the end....but I won't spoil it from there. It was great how the movie stops to let you breathe for just a second and then all hell keeps breaking lose. The subway tunnel scene was great and when Hud turns on night vision a minute too late you'll shit your pants at what goes down next. Best part of the movie is shot from the chopper, seeing the bomber lay a huge shit on the monster and it's whacking away at all the buildings. We all waited around in the theatre after the credits for some supposed audio clip but there wasn't anything to it, just a bunch of static. NOT WORTH THE WAIT. I had to piss so bad...
oh yeah and.. by theredtoad	Jan 18th, 2008 01:32:15 AM
IT WAS A LION!! IT WAS HUGE!!
yeah why not just wait till the movice came out by messi	Jan 18th, 2008 01:39:07 AM
i never understood the people who were freeze framing footage and stuff, overanalyzing stuff. watch the movie then see what happens.
I saw it, it's not a lion, it's awesome! by Eaglet1138	Jan 18th, 2008 01:47:20 AM
Oh my god! Oh my god! Seriously, though, I loved the film. Can't wait to see it again.
I "used to smarter" by otm shank	Jan 18th, 2008 01:49:21 AM
but I got some topical cream. Cleared right up!
the monster is in 2 minutes of the movie by Emit Brown	Jan 18th, 2008 02:03:44 AM
the monster is in the film for probably less than 2 minutes. while the film is entertaining, it really is a crime that the monster is hardly seen. it's not even that cool looking. that's what frustrated me. it was like someone took a bat and pulled the webbed wing off of the long bone that it is attached to. it walks on those two long bones essentially. the face is this non-descript slightly beaked thing. it appears to have hind legs and a long whip-like tail. it's pretty random. it sucks that it is only seen for 5 second bursts. the perfect opportunity to give us a good 30 seconds of crazy monster viewing would have been when Hud pointed his camera at the news report where they showed a helicopter shot. they just showed little glimpses of the tail etc. i get the whole dramatic build...but come on...this is a freakin monster movie where the monster is almost a no-show.
Impact in the ocean by dmetzel	Jan 18th, 2008 02:09:08 AM
At the end of the film when it cuts back to Coney Island there was something that crashed into the ocean making a big splash. Only problem is No one else around me saw it. Did anyone else see it?
Monster Design by nascentia	Jan 18th, 2008 02:10:04 AM
I don't know if this will count as a spoiler or not, but minor warning? I'm going to compare the monster to the one thing that it actually kind of looked like... Metal Gear Ray from MGS2. Seriously, that's exactly what it reminded me of, even though there are definitely some differences.
Salon's Steph Zacharek says it sucks and dishonors memory of 9/1 by Greenflame0	Jan 18th, 2008 02:18:36 AM
Because Cloverfield was produced by Alias and Lost mastermind JJ Abrams and because it's being sold to audiences through a viral media campaign instead of the more common hyperadvertising, there's a great deal of subterranean buzz about the picture. In 'Cloverfield', a going-away party for a young man who's leaving the States specifically, his home in lower Manhattan -- to take a job in Japan is rudely interrupted when an angry sea monster (or perhaps just an angry East River monster) rises from the depths to wreak havoc on the city. It all sounds like fun, until you have to sit through it. Abrams and director Matt Reeves, may think Cloverfield is revolutionary for the way it mimics the rough, homemade feel of home-video recording and for the way it calls attention to our early-21st-century penchant for recording everything as it happens : we now use our camera phones as surrogate eyes instead of actually seeing ; we interrupt whatever fun we're having to text our friends about how much fun we're having. But instead of skewering those tendencies, Cloverfield merely enlists them as a device, pretending to examine how self-absorbed we are as a culture, only to be consumed by it's own self-absorption. It's also badly constructed, humorless and emotionally sadistic - surely the work of a genius, or at least a couple of guys who know what buttons to push. These days, those two things seem to be interchangeable. Cloverfield opens with a test pattern and some official-looking Defense Department lettering telling us that we're seeing video footage recovered from 'the area formerly known as Central Park'. It's a chilling opening for it's obliqueness alone. The first few minutes show a young couple flirting and cavorting in a nicely appointed Upper West Side apartment : This is footage they've shot themselves as they horse around. It's reassuring evidence of the everyday quality of our lives. But there's more on that videotape, a record of terrible events that happened some three weeks later. Nearly the first third of Cloverfield consists of setup -- it's a leisurely and confident, perhaps too confident, way of opening up a movie. We learn more about the characters we saw in that earlier footage, Rob, who's being feted by his friends before heading off to that job in Japan, and Beth, a woman who should probably be Rob's girlfriend, but isn't quite. We also meet Rob's brother, Jason and Jason's girlfriend Lily, as well as Rob's best friend, Hud, a rather annoying spud who's been charged with recording the partygoers' farewells to Rob, although he's continually distracted by Marlena, a raven-haired beauty who's shown up at the party -- his camera follows her woozily, as if struck by lovesickness. It'd be unfair to reveal too many of the details of Cloverfield, but by now nearly everyone knows that someone or something lops the head off the Statue of Liberty and sends it rolling, like a forlorn bowling ball, down the streets of New York. That's a gripping, poetic image by itself, so poetic that partygoers and passersby who've gathered in the streets, raise their phones in unison, like a high-tech Greek chorus, to snap pictures of it. But from there, the picture becomes less intriguing and more numbing. There are very few, if any touches of humor in Cloverfield, but there's lots of screaming and realistic approximations of human suffering : this isn't Godzilla cartoonishly chomping the heads off random citizens. The movie is unpleasant to the point of being unconscionable ; it's so relentless there's no suspense, nothing that makes us wonder what's going to happen next. The picture does build dread, but not much else and in places, it's very carelessly made : For the most part, we know it's Hud behind the lens, but in some later scenes, we have no idea who's manning the camera, as if that were a detail we shouldn't care about. Maybe we're supposed to give Abrams and Reeves extra points for cleverness, for the way they've adapted traditional narrative into YouTube-style storytelling, using seemingly homegrown video footage to heighten the sense of immediacy. But we've already seen a far more effective version of that approach in Brian De Palma's Iraq war drama 'Redacted' and George Romero's upcoming 'Diary of the Dead' makes use of some similar techniques. It's no longer good enough to be among the first; you have to be an effective storyteller too and that's where Reeves, Goddard and Abrams fail. Is Cloverfield trying to be a fun monster movie, or is it trying to say something about the way post-9/11, we experience horrific events ? I simply have no idea. There's many people who walk around thinking, '9/11 is the most dramatic, most significant event in our lives', just as there are others who think, big deal. It was only a matter of time until we were attacked on our own soil. If 1950s horror films were really about the communist threat, as we're constantly and needlessly reminded by film scholars, then why can't modern horror films mirror our own fears about real-life terrorism ? There's no reason they can't, but there's also no reason we have to accept the cheapening of real-life tragedy as a means of entertainment. Cloverfield harnesses the horror of 9/11, specifically as it was felt in New York and repackages it as an amusement-park ride. We see familiar buildings exploding and crumpling before our eyes, and plumes of smoke rolling up the narrow corridors formed by lower-Manhattan streets, images that were once the province of news footage and have now been reduced to special effects. Kewl! I'm not saying those images should never be used dramatically in any way. But like all potent images, they deserve some care and respect and some discretion. Why use them just for kicks, as a means to get a rise out of the audience as it recognizes something familiar and terrifying ? Cloverfield takes the trauma of 9/11 and turns it into just another random spectacle at which to point and shoot. The picture's overconfident sense of immediacy is precisely what makes it so remote. Maybe we now live in a world where we record the moment first and feel it later. If that's the case, Cloverfield leaves us waiting to feel.
I didn't really know if I liked it yet... by kungfuhustler84	Jan 18th, 2008 02:23:46 AM
but I looked over and Kurt Russell and my girlfriend were laughing so I guess it was okay. the 3rd reviewer brings me back, man.
So, we went to the midnight show... by DuncanHines	Jan 18th, 2008 02:34:52 AM
Let me preface this by saying that the only thing I've really read about this was Neil Cumpston's review, because that dude rules. Also, I tried to avoid the hype, because I didn't want to be let down... All said, it was good. It was only about an hour and a half long... which was good, because right when I got tired of watching it... it ended. It really was the Blair Monster Project though. That shakey camera... is exhausting. The monster was pretty awesome. No spoilers here, just know that the monster was believably frightening, and HUGE. The audience that we saw it with was disappointed in the ending. There were actually "boo"s in the theater. But we are talking about the kind of people who go to a midnight showing of Cloverfield. The crowd looked like a comic book convention. All in all, I can't wait for the theater-shot bootleg of this. It'll add to the believability"handheld camera" aspect of the whole movie. If I had to 1-10 it, I'd give it a 7.3 I guess.
Cloverfield At Midnight by JillianneSix	Jan 18th, 2008 02:39:43 AM
Yeah, I liked it, too. There weren't any boo's, though. I understand now why all of the reviews have been puzzling, because the movie is hard to describe. Anyway, I'm gonna go see it again and see if I can't get a handle on exactly what I think about it, Again, overall, I liked it, but it may be too sophisticated for the average moviegoer. And yes, the Giachinno piece at the end was AWESOME! I wish they would've had more of the music in the movie...
SAW IT AT MIDNIGHT, LOVED IT by Mullah Omar	Jan 18th, 2008 02:43:54 AM
This was a perfect marriage of style and substance, and I predict this will spawn a lot of copycat films in the next few years. Sure, this borrows its style from BLAIR WITCH, but it also raises the bar on that formula.
Hah So your an Aussie Messi!! by boyblue	Jan 18th, 2008 03:17:23 AM
Cunt sounds terible when said by an Aussie, almost as bad as a French accent!! English accent or Ruskie, cunt just seems to belong when spoken with either an English or Russian accent! I love it when we get called Poms! It gives us English people the right to call you Jail Dwelling mass murdering inbred rapists!! But I would never call you that, I think assclown will do for now. And yes I did know there are more comics in that run I just have better things to do with my time than read anymore of them! And no a good film they would not make, the target audience for this film would be tiny and even if it was a spot on adaption, you would still find something to piss and moan about! "They changed the yellow rings to Blue...WAH!!" Rant over. ps Superman Returns piss's all over Smallville, thats all im saying!
What was the... by Rodo	Jan 18th, 2008 03:26:49 AM
explosion in the trailer and at the beginning of the movie? I haven't seen it yet, but I was wondering, "Does the monster breath fire or something?" That's a big fucking explosion.
Eh, it's okay by reflecto	Jan 18th, 2008 03:57:03 AM
As usual JJ Abrams relies on viral websites and marketing to tell his stories that he can't be bothered to put in his actual running time limit. It got tired on TV with Alias and Lost, and it's really tired now. The ending is totally predictable. But the monster is awesome. I can only hope there is a better sequel which expands on what can currently only be found on promotional websites, you know, where you actually write a whole concise film...
boyblue by messi	Jan 18th, 2008 03:57:45 AM
are you retarded or something?
Messi by boyblue	Jan 18th, 2008 04:21:43 AM
Something!
Just got off the phone with Salon's Steph Zacharek... by couP	Jan 18th, 2008 05:34:21 AM
thanks for describing the relationships in intimate detail you knob. I walked out of the theatre in sydney and looked up and it felt very plausible that something could just take down half those skyscrapers. it's not a fun monster movie, and it definitely plays on your mind.
freaking fantastic by drave117	Jan 18th, 2008 05:49:32 AM
Saw a midnight show. Loved it so much I am considering seeing it again as soon as the theaters open tomorrow. Definitely will be in my top 3 for 2008, might be in my top 20 of all time. Flawless.
Spoiler here..but I have to say it by Purgatori	Jan 18th, 2008 08:24:44 AM
Fucking amazing movie. And Hud was of course the best character. I love the foreshadowing that finally hit me a little while after seeing it. "If this is the last thing you see, then I"m dead." And in fact it was. Nice. One of those movies that makes you walk out dazed for a few seconds because it draws you in so deeply. I loved it.
Purgatori... by v1	Jan 18th, 2008 10:33:00 AM
"One of those movies that makes you walk out dazed for a few seconds because it draws you in so deeply. I loved it." No kidding, I literally walked out stunned, absolutly stunned.
spoiler Watch right side of screen at end by Riverrun	Jan 18th, 2008 11:20:21 AM
You can see a small (distant that is) object strike the water, clearly not of terrestrial origin.
riverrun, you talkin about beth and rob on the ferris wheel? by theredtoad	Jan 18th, 2008 11:35:16 AM
I looked in the ocean over their shoulders and thought I saw a giant jellyfish thing floating along the surface. It was pretty weird.
Me and my mates by 'Cholera's Ghost	Jan 18th, 2008 11:53:47 AM
are going to yell "Oh my god! Oh my god!" at periodic intervals as well as all during the end credits.
'Cholera's Ghost, you better not man by Kloipy	Jan 18th, 2008 12:06:24 PM
2for2true might stab you in the mouth with a pencil for that
boyblue fuckspoon by messi	Jan 18th, 2008 12:06:31 PM
First of all. I'm not Australian. Second. You poms can't play Football and now you were stupid enough to get a coach that will make your national team play even more defensive and uninspired, and people wonder why Madrid fired him even though he won them the title, or more like Barca lost it. How many Smallville episodes have you seen? There is more action and Superman moments in half an episode than there was in the entirity of Superman Returns. An increidbly boring, bland, unmemorable film that was also badly made, had a horrible story and terrible acting and was nothing much like Superman at all. This is why Smallville OWNS Superman Returns. http://tinyurl.com/yv2vn6 http://tinyurl.com/2utred http://tinyurl.com/2pgfw4 Are you seriously telling me that Sinestro Corps War would not make a good movie? How fucking stupid are you? And you say this by judging what is essentially the first 20 mins of a 3 hour movie. That would be like saying Star Wars is a shit movie but you only watched to the part where Luke buys the droids. You are hands down one of the dumbest people to ever grace this site. Sinestro Corps War is the story of the past 2 decades yet you think it's shit based on a single great Issue. Your mother should have swallowed you.
PEOPLE HERE ALSO READ SALON.COM? by BringingSexyBack	Jan 18th, 2008 12:07:35 PM
That's good to know. Stephanie tends to go for the cerebral reviews, so I think she's reading too much into it. She has her salient points though.
I think he's moved on to bic pens now Kloipy by just pillow talk	Jan 18th, 2008 12:09:53 PM
He's hardcore now. BTW, your 3 shitheels in front of the mirror killed me. I think this has the makings of the next big horror franchise. Shitheel: The story of a pencil stabber.
A couple of these guys don't "GET" the movie by Vern	Jan 18th, 2008 02:23:07 PM
not that there's a whole lot to get. The guy that's upset about it mirroring 9-11, that's his emotional response so you can't really argue with it. But I don't think you have to be a genius of cinematic history to know that the original GODZILLA was about the atomic bomb being dropped on Japan. And I don't know if anybody in Japan was pissed off about that. Yes, the movie is influenced by 9-11 (duh) but not just in the imagery, also in the way the story keeps hitting on the theme of these friends wanting to appreciate the time they have together, tell each other that they love them, etc. It's a monster movie that takes into account the emotional responses we all had to 9-11. But the last guy REALLY doesn't get it. You're really disappointed that there's not establishing shots? I don't understand that reaction unless some friends tricked you into going to the movie and you don't really follow movies so you had no idea what the premise was. Like, they said it was a documentary about a labor dispute among workers on an organic clover honey farm. If you saw the trailer or heard a brief description of what the movie was, though, you know it doesn't have establishing shots. What are you saying, there should be a scene where the guy from the party brings his camcorder into the White House and tapes the president talking about what needs to be done? Then he gets to go into a war room and there's a bunch of guys standing around pointing at a big computer screen with maps? Maybe there should be a part at the beginning where he's in a submarine with the camcorder and he happens to see that an earthquake opens a crack of earth with a monster egg in it and then there are scientists on the submarine who look into the camcorder and explain what happened and what it will take to stop the monster. Then the sub comes up and drops him off at the party. Also a part where a trusty dog just barely escapes an explosion. I mean come on dude, how did you go to the movie not understanding that it's a monster movie from the perspective of a normal person on the ground? The limited perspective is the movie's way of putting you into the situation, making it feel a little more real than those other movies you are talking about that it clearly is not. If you need "regular monster movie" there are plenty available though. I'm not saying it's some masterpiece. But it's a fun movie that is pretty much exactly what you expect if you go in with a basic understanding of the premise of the movie. A monster attacks New York, we see it from the perspective of a dude's camcorder. It's not much more than an obvious gimmick, but a good one and well done. Except that it might make you puke. By the way, did I imagine it or was one of these reviews claiming that they tried to convince people the monster attack really happened and was covered up by the government? I thought Massawyrm was a nut when he said everybody thought Blair Witch was real, but this is taking it to another level. We used to smarter.
Can't believe "The Signal" would stoop this far by wetzello	Jan 18th, 2008 02:44:36 PM
So, I did a Google search to find the official Cloverfield site, and I noticed this in the AdWords section up top: "Cloverfield" Film www.doyouhavethecrazy.com/ Was Not As Shocking As This One! Do You You Dare To See The Trailer? Unbelievable...is it too much to ask you to sell your movie based on its own credentials? It's not like "The Signal" is going to be "One Missed Call" or anything...
You guys are fucking stupid. You see the monster. by Novaman5000	Jan 18th, 2008 03:47:38 PM
FULL ON. MULTIPLE TIMES. You see it knocking down buildings, fighting off the military, staring right down into the camera. They're not hiding the fucking thing, morons. See the movie before you betray your stupidity next time.
Shitheel: Farewell to the Ink by Kloipy	Jan 18th, 2008 03:52:56 PM
Thank you Vern for once again being fucking awesome
Please send all payments to me thanks by JBouganim1	Jan 18th, 2008 04:49:20 PM
The tape opens with Rob (Michael Stahl-David), recording an apartment stating that Beth's dad was gone. He moves through the apartment to Beth's (Odette Yustman) room where she's sleeping on her bed. He wakes her up and they share a touching moment before the tape fast forwards to them talking about how Beth had never been to Coney Island. Fast forward again to Lily (Jessica Lucas), handing the video camera to Jason (Mike Vogel), Rob's brother, saying that it's up to him to record testimonials at Rob's going away party that night. Later on, Jason is at the party and quickly hands off the camera to Rob's best friend Hud (T.J. Miller) saying that he has to do it instead and mentions to him that Marlena (Lizzy Caplan), would be showing up to the party. It's apparent that Hud has some feelings for this girl because he quickly forgets about it and agrees. Hud goes around the room and records testimonials from the party guests and sure enough Marlena shows up and he quickly tries to get her to look at the camera but it's obviously apparent that she finds Hud annoying and quickly runs off. Another jump occurs and everyone starts to yell to be quiet and Rob enters the room completely surprised. Rob starts mingling with the guests before he starts looking distressed and asks if Beth is still going to show up. Later, Beth does show up, but with another guy as well. The two share a very tense moment at the door and soon part ways before Hud tries tracking her down and asks her if she wants to say something to the camera. She declines, but Hud keeps persisting until she agrees to talk in the kitchen. She starts to say how she wishes Rob the best for himself, before Rob walks into the room and asks if they can talk. The two are obviously having a fight and they walk back in to Rob looking very angry and quickly say to Beth's date, "Good luck tonight". Beth then leaves and it is obvious that Rob is upset over more than what he's letting on. Hud tries to get Rob to explain, only to have robbed notice the camera and he sternly asks Hud if he had changed the tape out before recording, he says no and Rob is obviously upset (The tape being the recording of Rob and Beth's trip to Coney Island). (Pardon me if this scene is out of alignment, but it's not too far away from being correct) Hud and Jason quickly track down Lily and force her into a side room where she confesses that Rob and Beth had had sex; this is cause for much discussion because Hud starts going guest to guest telling them of their actions. Jason and Hud then lead Rob out to the balcony and start giving him reassuring advice about his situation with Beth, and Jason says that everything will work out for him. All of a sudden, a large explosion is heard and the camera starts to glitch, they head back in and hear a news report saying that a tanker ship had capsized out in New York's harbor. They all decide to get to the roof for a better view of what had happened. On the roof everyone is discussing over what could have possibly happened, and Hud then remarks how Rob should've got out of town earlier. A large explosion occurs behind Rob deep within the city and asteroid like objects start pelting the buildings around them. Soon everyone is running down the stairwell and burst out onto the streets and soon the head of the statue of liberty comes flying through the air and lands in the street, a glimpse of the monster is recorded by Hud and everyone in the street gathers around to look at the playback. Marlena who had since disappeared, shows up covered in dust from the buildings and Lily starts to comfort her. Marlena looks terrified and explains that, "it started eating them." Rob, Jason, Hud, Lily, and Marlena decide that getting out of the city would be their best possible bet to find out just what was going on. Soon after the group is shown crossing the Brooklyn Bridge and Rob gets a call on his phone. It turns out to be Beth who sounds like she's in trouble, unfortunately, the group gets split up, and Jason gets pushed along with the crowd. Jason is recorded by Hud as he scales a post to try to get a better view of where they were when a massive tail suddenly comes across the bridge and smashes down on to Jason's position, devastating the structure of the bridge and it begins to collapse. The four run back and gather around Lily who is crying and Rob who is entirely phased out by the death of his brother. Rob is entirely angry because his phone has died and runs into a nearby department store that is being looted. He's looking around madly for a battery for his phone while Hud records the monster footage from the TV. Rob then listens in to his phone only to hear a message from Beth saying that she was bleeding and couldn't move. Rob decides to go after Beth and takes to the streets. Not much time passes before the monster shows up in full view and the military start firing upon the monster (Which looks like a praying mantis mixed with a slug). They take cover, and when they are able to, the group heads into the subway system to hide. Rob gets a call from his Mom and explains to her that Jason had died, and while this is going on Hud tries yet again to hold a conversation with Marlena. Soon after, they decide that walking the subway tunnels would be the safest course of action, and start heading down the line. While walking, the group (Rob, Lily, Hud, and Marlena) hears a strange noise, and Hud turns on the camera light to reveal that dozens of rats are racing away from their rear. A strange clicking and roaring is heard and Rob comes around to turn on the camera's night vision setting. As soon as it activates, many strange creatures looking like overgrown vicious beetles, are seen hanging from the tunnel walls and start descending upon them. Marlena is quickly tackled and Hud falls behind, but to his luck Marlena comes to his aid and hits the creature until it lets him go. They race into a nearby station to get their bearings and realize that Marlena had been bitten severely and was bleeding. They head up to a department store, where Marlena looks extremely sick at this point and complains of being dizzy and soon after, they are caught by soldiers who were running a command post out of the mall center. The commander explains that they have no idea what's going on either and that their only solution at this point is to keep bombing it with passing F-15's. Hud turns to Marlena who says, "Hud, I don't feel so good..." Her eyes are now bleeding and is noticed by a doctor who screams, "She's been bitten!" Bio-suited soldiers grab her and take her into a tent, where her shadow is shown quickly expanding and then blood splatters all over the walls of it. The commander then tells Rob that if he's absolutely hell bent on getting Beth, that he had better do it by 0600 hours, because they were going to initiate "Operation Hammerdown", an obvious last ditch attempt to destroy the monster by leveling Manhattan. He says their last opportunity to be able to leave would be at a set up base, where helicopters would transport survivors out of the city to safety. Outside, the group finds the apartment building where Beth is, only to see that the tower had been toppled over against a neighboring skyscraper. Hud then says that it might be too hard for them to reach the top if they tried to enter Beth's building, where he proposes to take the other building to the top and to cross over where it leaned on the side. They scale both buildings and end up in Beth's apartment where her shoulder has been impaled on a piece of rebar. The three of them lift her off of the bar and move to leave. As they are crossing the rooftop again, the monster appears a couple blocks away smashing through more buildings. The group (Now Rob, Beth, Lily, and Hud) starts running down the streets towards the base with the monster close by battling nearby forces. They get to the helicopter only to be separated from Lily, who is pushed onto a helicopter and taken away. The rest get on their own helicopter and are taken overhead where they see the monster below getting bombed by a stealth fighter. Hud starts cheering and proclaims, "Yeah! They got it!", when only seconds later the monster erupts from the dust and debris of the surrounding building and takes down the helicopter. The camera skips ahead and is staring into the ground. We hear Rob, Beth, and Hud struggling to get out and Hud drops the camera to the ground. Sure enough, Hud jogs back over to pick up the camera only the hear screams from Rob and Beth saying, "Hud! No!” Hud looks up with the camera and it is suddenly apparent to him that he's standing right beneath the monster. It stops, and notices Hud, who seems paralyzed with fear. In a flash, the monster grabs Hud in its jaws, and starts throwing him around like a ragdoll. The camera falls to the ground, and just happens to land next to Hud's body where it starts to focus in and out on his face. Rob grabs the camera and starts running with Beth looking for cover. The two find shelter underneath a bridge in the park and sit down. Rob seems like he can no longer comprehend the events that have occurred, and he turns the camera onto himself and starts explaining to the camera about how 7 hours ago something attacked the city and that if someone finds the recording, that they’ll know more than he ever did. He says his goodbyes, and hands the camera over to Beth who is crying and just says, "I have no idea why this happened..." It is now 6:42 am and a bombing run collapses the tunnel onto them. Rob's voice can be heard yelling to Beth, "I Love You!" before another bomb hits and it's assumed that this kills them. The tape then reverts back to the Coney Island visit and Rob tells Beth to say something before it dies, she simply says, "It was a great day", and the movie ends. NOTE: In the very last footage shot from Coney
can't you hear a "help/save us" during the end of the credits? by couP	Jan 18th, 2008 05:40:18 PM

WHAT ARE YOUR PAYMENT DETAILS, JBOUGANIM1??? by couP	Jan 18th, 2008 05:40:59 PM
stooge.
couP by Vern	Jan 18th, 2008 06:16:18 PM
[spoils] I was gonna ask if any of the sleuths with the Slusho and what not had decoded that sound at the end. I couldn't hear it over everybody shushing each other, so I'm not sure what it was. You think it was supposed to leave you with the possibility that they survived?
Monster look like Tars Tarkas. by mojoman69	Jan 18th, 2008 06:28:59 PM
The creature looks a lots like rendering of Tars Tarkas, the Thark from Burrough's(edger rice not wm s.) John carter of Mars series. I was a bit disappointed after all the hype. I wanted something lovecraftian and totally inventive.
vern.. by couP	Jan 18th, 2008 06:57:59 PM
yeh, the same thing happened to me, with people still talking..just checked wikipedia now
Vern.."It's still alive" says wiki and boomp3 by couP	Jan 18th, 2008 07:00:02 PM
yeh, the same thing happened to me, with people still talking..just checked wikipedia now and they had a link to http://boomp3.com/m/bd034dfca3 70 , saying that if the static at the end is reversed it says "It's still alive". it's pretty damn clear if you want to check it out, although it might be fake shrugs
Vern, the sound at the end [spoilers] by tcb039io	Jan 18th, 2008 07:09:37 PM
is someone saying "It's still alive." Sorry, don't have the link but you can find it on unfiction.com.
whoops, probably should have attached a [spoiler] tag by couP	Jan 18th, 2008 07:12:56 PM

i don't like horror movies because they borrow from death imager by alexsteed	Jan 18th, 2008 08:03:48 PM
or... romantic comedies because they borrow from failed romance imagery. or... This is a stupid fucking argument.
It's Blair Witch + Godzilla. Good, but not spectacular... by HappyHamster	Jan 18th, 2008 09:54:33 PM
I get the feeling if you get too caught in the hype you'll be disappointed a bit. I was. I wasn't horribly disappointed though since I still found the movie pretty entertaining. But at the end of the day it's Blair Witch + Godzilla with some WB-level teen-angst tossed in.
Hilarious rebuttal Vern by 'Cholera's Ghost	Jan 18th, 2008 10:10:00 PM
Some people will like the gimmick, some people won't, but establishing shots be damned.
All I'm saying is by TerryMalloy	Jan 18th, 2008 10:12:40 PM
I wanted one establishing shot. How can a filmmaker call himself a filmmaker and not have an establishing shot? Huh? Anybody got an answer? I didn't think so.
messi: I actually think Smallville owns Heroes too... by HappyHamster	Jan 18th, 2008 10:15:58 PM
With the latest season of Heroes, the suckage of that show is such that even the hardest of hardcore fans are turning on it. But I still maintain it's been pretty mediocre since at least halfway through season one. Smallville has better effects, better actors, and I daresay a better "story" than Heroes (not that either one will be confused with "Citizen Kane").
I wanted more edits in ROPE by Vern	Jan 18th, 2008 11:19:24 PM
What the fuck was Hitchcock thinking? too god damn lazy to change camera angles.
I have an answer for you Terry. by 'Cholera's Ghost	Jan 18th, 2008 11:19:29 PM
An answer that will rattle you to your very core.
More overhyped and overrated than BWP by jcrow	Jan 19th, 2008 12:36:18 AM
This movie sucked. It had some moments, but the characters made such stupid choices you didn't care if they died. I'm willing to suspend disbelief to enjoy a movie, but not to "follow" or care about such stupid people. Why didn't they just throw that indestructible camera at the creature? That would have killed it. Completely overhyped and overrated. Just like JJAbrams other ventures, the payoff was not there.
Please, rattle my core CG by TerryMalloy	Jan 19th, 2008 12:49:26 AM
And Vern. I was joking.
Rope by TerryMalloy	Jan 19th, 2008 12:57:25 AM
is one of my favorite Hitchcock movies. But, c'mon, who commits murder out of boredom?
I sae it and the worst movie ever by Evilgod005	Jan 19th, 2008 01:14:16 AM
honestly the worst movie ever i saw it abunch of sandle wearing faggots... im sick of the pussy movies they make to the faggots and there impossible scenairos to get the most masculine bitches around... america home to the fat and the homo the movie is going to do well because this is america the country where i live that needs to be completely erradicated of the homo's and liberal females i hate this country i hate the movies it makes i hate the ecomony of 8 dollars even at student discount this country needs a wake up call on how stupid they are... to be completely dupe on another Gino98... this from a drunk student
by the way by Evilgod005	Jan 19th, 2008 01:19:08 AM
fuck harry and his i wanna sell myself out .... the cgi in this movie is horrible.... im drunk and it still sucks... how bad is that worse than i am legend.. this how website sold out on cloverfield Godzillla Forever no fucking cloverfield cannot leave up to it only to the hom0 of america
HappyHamster by messi	Jan 19th, 2008 01:21:54 AM
Yeah you're right. I could not believe how low Heroes got with Season 2, never have I seen a show fall so hard. With Smallville it's different, the first season whilst entertaining was teen drama and basically dawson's creek with superpowers but alot more violence, but then the myth came in season 2 and got bigger. season 3 was dark yet a perfect version of a modern silver age and what you'd imagine clark's youth to be like, season 4 was more silver age and silly but still great moments and then season 5 onwards feels like a different show. More Adult, more effects, more action, the myth is coming together. But the best thign about it all, is the way Luthor is played out. Amazing portrayal. The comic book version is 'comic booky', silly and 2 dimensional, even the modern versions(ha versions). But this is a realistic Lex Luthor. Up there with Dr Doom and Galactus in awesomeness.
Terry by Vern	Jan 19th, 2008 02:22:33 AM
the guy in the review wasn't kidding though. (but were you kidding about the second part, because if not ROPE was inspired by the real murderers Leopold and Loeb) Anyway, if you're kidding you're supposed to do a bunch of those sideways winking smiley faces, plus a "j/k" and a couple of LOLs. Or at least call everybody homos and faggots like that other guy. That way we know you're not serious.
I FUCKING LOVED IT (but of course, I used to smarter) by Bass Bastardson	Jan 19th, 2008 05:29:12 AM
If you like the concept, you will like the movie, but if you don't you won't. It is as simple as that. The movie 100% delivers on what it set out to be and I couldn't have been more satisfied.
Vern wins: fatality by hamo455	Jan 20th, 2008 07:46:10 PM
As usual. "We used to smarter". I love you Vern.
GREAT FILM... but I HATED Hud with a passion!!! by TheGhostWhoLurks	Jan 21st, 2008 03:13:24 AM
The minute they showed that dopey-eyed, brain-dead idiot trying to figure out how to tape a banner to a wall, I said to myself, "PLEASE don't let this guy be the 'narrator' of this whole film!" ...So, of course, he was. How HAPPY I was when he finally got eaten by the monster and subsequently spat out when the monster realized he was as useless as a meal as he was as a character!:D But those spider-things in the subway were horrifying, even though I KNEW they'd pull a "DESCENT" moment when the lead character tells Hud to turn on the camera's night-vision. And when their female friend gets bitten by one and ends up EXPLODING as a result shortly afterwards... WOW!!! Great visuals WITHOUT really showing anything! This was everything that torture porn WISHES it could be, but doesn't have the talent to... so instead, simply goes for gross shock value. I loved Cloverfield, even though most of my friends got nauseous due to the "shaky-cam" and one of them actually had to leave 30 minutes into it, because he was about to throw up. Can't wait for a sequel! But it might be better if they just leave well enough alone. :)

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