Home Cool News Coaxial Reviews Zone Chat Contact Us Sign in

Talkbacks

"You've never seen anything like it"
by V'Shael
Jan 16th, 2008
08:16:45 AM
"You've never seen anything like it"
by V'Shael
Jan 16th, 2008
08:17:00 AM
Now who are you going to believe? Me or your lying eyes?
nice review
by uVa
Jan 16th, 2008
08:19:32 AM
count me psyched!
very nice review
by mbg98
Jan 16th, 2008
08:21:22 AM
it'll get me in there to see it.
who's waiting
by palewook
Jan 16th, 2008
08:21:36 AM
i'm so fucking sick of this viral marketing spam campaign. i'd punch JJ in his skull if offered the chance.
"It is the summer blockbuster for people who fucking hate summer
by The Curious Dr Humpp
Jan 16th, 2008
08:21:51 AM
That quote should be on every poster for this film.
2nd?
by johnyaztec
Jan 16th, 2008
08:23:05 AM
AM i the 2nd person to write somthing?
That's it.....
by closeencounter
Jan 16th, 2008
08:23:27 AM
I'm there Friday at the first showing!!
fuck
by johnyaztec
Jan 16th, 2008
08:23:39 AM
looks like Im not 2nd:(
Cool
by Jugs
Jan 16th, 2008
08:26:02 AM
I'm there!
Fucking Awesome Review, Massa
by AdrianVeidt
Jan 16th, 2008
08:27:36 AM
Seriously, one of the best.
And the only thing worse than inverted nipples...
by AdrianVeidt
Jan 16th, 2008
08:28:14 AM
...are lifeless, not-perky, boobs of wet sand. I HATE finding that out.
No clear shot of monster =
by Dr Gregory House
Jan 16th, 2008
08:30:12 AM
inverted nipples on Optimus Prime
I still don't know
by The Mothman
Jan 16th, 2008
08:37:30 AM
I mean, I can normally trust an enthusiastic review from a semi-reliable source, but lately, damn - The Simpsons Movie getting a rock solid RT score, Ebert calling No Country For Old Men a 'perfect film' etc etc. And I don't think I've ever really liked anything Abrams has been involved in. That said, I liked the preview for the skill that's made him rich - the hinting, the teasing, the 'leave it to the imagination' factor. I guess at worst I'll waste 2 hours on this, as opposed to 8 seasons worth of time on 'Lost'.
How about reducing the size of your avatar?
by gruntybear
Jan 16th, 2008
08:37:44 AM
So I can friggen' read your review, Wyrm.
I'm seeing this in 11 hours
by red_weed
Jan 16th, 2008
08:38:39 AM
hooray for early australian release! Iv'e booked 10 tickets to the very first session tomorrow morning for me and all my friends. I can't wait.
Inverted Nipples
by boyblue
Jan 16th, 2008
08:40:36 AM
Im with you on that one!!!
yeah Wyrm
by Bloo
Jan 16th, 2008
08:41:06 AM
the av size made it difficult for me to read the review but from what I read, it sounds great, plan on seeing it
great review
by LegoKenobi
Jan 16th, 2008
08:41:35 AM
color me more interested in seeing it. but i'm still waiting to see what mori thought, though.
Not quite up there with the first two Alien films...
by Altered_Carbon
Jan 16th, 2008
08:43:36 AM
But yes, pretty damn impressive to be sure. It's an immersive film in the best way, despite the characters being a tad flimsy. (If I had a friend like Hud who refused to put his fucking camera down and help out - FFS, he doesn't even help dress the wounds of the woman he's supposedly got a boner for. Opting instead to film the bite marks. Shithead! - I'd be paying for his bus ticket out of town as soon as all the shit was over. Of course, that's unnecessary as it pans out in the film. Nonetheless, a great genre pic. The best collision of Hollywood bombast and bleak indie grittiness I've seen in a long while.
Tell me another good one....
by Sour_Toejam
Jan 16th, 2008
08:44:27 AM
Shit, Massawyrm has never seen a naked girl, cept for maybe his momma, quit lying tool!
Er..what's wrong with inverted nipples?
by Frankenblogger
Jan 16th, 2008
08:49:21 AM
Small, large, puffy, big/small areola, inverted? Dude. If they're attached to a great sets of tits where's the fucking problem? I'm having trouble following your logic. Sorry. Love breasts and all the different flavors they come in.
I may be forced to agree with Sour_Toejam
by Frankenblogger
Jan 16th, 2008
08:50:26 AM
If they're inverted simply use your fucking mouth to get those suckers pointy!!!
actually, I HAVE seen that sophistication
by ironic_name
Jan 16th, 2008
08:52:50 AM
coz I SEEN IT!

yeeha!

shitty review
by ironic_name
Jan 16th, 2008
08:54:06 AM
I thought harry did the bullshit hype.
Clearly the big question is...
by Altered_Carbon
Jan 16th, 2008
08:54:21 AM
...does the monster have nipples, inverted or otherwise? I have to admit I didn't see any, but then the camera never held still long enough...
Wow, an excellent review!
by YackBacker
Jan 16th, 2008
08:55:07 AM
The best stuff was when Massa went into describing how difficult it is to describe the monster. Okay, count me in for a Friday viewing. My girl wants to see JUNO... that aint... gonna... happen.
Inverted nipples are go!
by don_gately
Jan 16th, 2008
08:56:33 AM
"Anyone who has ever dated a girl with inverted nipples knows exactly the type of profound disappointment I'm talking about." You are out of your mind. The first girl I ever got naked had them, and I still remember the Moment. They feel better against your face than some of the NATO rounds I've come up against since.
worried
by Blood T Cat
Jan 16th, 2008
08:59:45 AM
this kid's review is troubling. I don't wanna care about Rob or Beth or I love you. Very troubling. Why does it have to be about dopey kids? i see enough of those whiny crybabies in real life, talking about their stupid feelings and shit.
Must admit, Ironic's monster sketches in Harry's review thread..
by Altered_Carbon
Jan 16th, 2008
09:00:02 AM
...are pretty much dead on. Shame you didn't like the film though. I thought it nailed the concept they were going for.
Who really cares what Massawyrm thinks?
by Vamp-AICNchat
Jan 16th, 2008
09:00:45 AM
We have had Harry's so.... who cares. We know it's gonna be great.
I'm glad the movie sounds good but....
by Marillion
Jan 16th, 2008
09:01:39 AM
What about the Star Trek trailer? Damn it, I want to hear about that!
Starting to copy Harry's porn-style reviews too!
by Vamp-AICNchat
Jan 16th, 2008
09:02:00 AM
Anyone agree?
You've got to know if she loves him back...
by AnimalStructure
Jan 16th, 2008
09:04:00 AM
Yeah right, whatever you say there nitz. I am sure all I'll really care about is if Rob can say I love you to Beth. I mean, that's why I'M going to see it, don't know about the rest of you, but I really need to find out if Rob finds Beth. It's been keeping me up at night, you see cause she left before he could say it, and then this crisis happened. Wow, Cloverfield is so damn personal! What an achievement in film!
We didn't get the Star Trek trailer in Australia...
by Altered_Carbon
Jan 16th, 2008
09:05:04 AM
...got Spiderwick Chronicles (looks lame) and Iron Man for the umpteenth time (which looks crappier every time I see it. Please don't let it be crap!)
From that arse licking review, I sense no more than 1 minutes of
by Damien Chowder
Jan 16th, 2008
09:05:08 AM
I'm sorry even if the story and structure is amazing.. It sucks because I want destruction and monster not people running around looking for their friend, at least not for the majority of the film! When these reviewers compare this to 9/11 well then were people more interested in the people running about after or the planes hitting the building? There you go. Also why not make this film from a live news broadcast point of view?! There we get to see the monster ala 9/11 stylee. There are Blair Witch vibes about this! I hated that film! It was balls! My blank tape miniDV is scarier that that peace nose dribble! This review has proved fears right. Oh well I will still watch it for the few seconds of monster plus JJ ok.
I'm there at midnite Thursday Mountain Standard Time Mutha-F'ers
by sfgeek
Jan 16th, 2008
09:07:06 AM
That is all I have to say. Can't wait. F the campaign... I want to see a giant Monster destroy and wreck havoc upon NYC. Love it... my balls tingle just thinking about it...wait, wait, I think I just tinkled a bit thinking about it more and more. Gonna be sweet!
cant wait!
by Flying Spaghetti Monster
Jan 16th, 2008
09:09:35 AM
I Am Legend hyping all over again at AICN
by GibsonUSA
Jan 16th, 2008
09:12:15 AM
What is this, like a cycle? You keep doing this over and over again?
Damn right, Massa...
by 433
Jan 16th, 2008
09:12:31 AM
It was great! We're going to go see it again this weekend, we liked it so much.
And make sure you're watching the background during the last scene!
Damien, you won't be disappointed
by Altered_Carbon
Jan 16th, 2008
09:13:14 AM
There's plenty of urban destruction and the monster in view. Just be aware it's all shot on handicam by a shitscared character who only holds the camera still for more than a millisecond during the monster money shot at the end of the film. (That sounds bad, but really, this film does kick ten times of ass in terms of monster destruction. If you want more, pull Rampage on the Sega Mega Drive out of the attic.)
Saw it last night. it was fucking awesome.
by messi
Jan 16th, 2008
09:14:49 AM
man that is some fucking good direction, delivers on all accounts. enough steadyness, enough shaky, the right beats. awesome.
Massawyrm - Re: INVERTED NIPPLES
by Vamp-AICNchat
Jan 16th, 2008
09:15:13 AM
Ever thought a bigger ginger hillbilly (you) is hardly Don Juan, hence why the nipples aren't erect?
Here you go, Massa
by Vamp-AICNchat
Jan 16th, 2008
09:16:05 AM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I mage:Invertednipple.jpg
One thing that's interesting...
by EvilGeek1
Jan 16th, 2008
09:16:13 AM
Rumor is that it's going to start off like JJ's other works, i.e a little piece of the end at the start and then right to to the beginning. If you look at the bit with the helicopter spinning out of control, it's daytime. Whereas all the shit in the city is at night. Probably old pointless info but hey...
Node...
by Vamp-AICNchat
Jan 16th, 2008
09:17:01 AM
...here you are - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I mage:Invertednipple.jpg
Massa and Inverted nipples have something in common
by Vamp-AICNchat
Jan 16th, 2008
09:18:17 AM
They're both a couple of tits.

by DaveTheHutt
Jan 16th, 2008
09:18:41 AM
Is it some sort of AICN contractual obligation to put some sort of pathetic sex reference in the reviews? We get it - you've fucked someone (as unbelievable as it might be in certain cases); can we know move on and discuss films like adults?
That's not very nice Vamp
by EvilGeek1
Jan 16th, 2008
09:19:19 AM
What's with all the rage???
To temper this hype, read Dark Horizon's review
by Lance Rocke
Jan 16th, 2008
09:19:27 AM
he has no problem describing the creature, saying it looks "like the love child of a giant bat and that wussy 'Newborn' from Alien Resurrection."
It has character that you care about? The audience will hate it!
by DerLanghaarige
Jan 16th, 2008
09:20:58 AM
They always did in the last few years :P
Up there with Jaws, Alien, Blade Runner
by la_sith
Jan 16th, 2008
09:21:59 AM
SEEK HELP.
it isn't the effects or the action or the mayhem that dominates
by Trazadone
Jan 16th, 2008
09:22:27 AM
Greeeeeeat. That's a nice way of saying that Cloverfield is boring?
Your Opening Paragraph
by Mazzer
Jan 16th, 2008
09:23:05 AM
Massawyrm, I have to hand it to you: only on this site can you read an opening to a review that compares a movie to girlfriend's first nakedness. You had me LOL. Nice review. Now, I just hope the whole damned movie isn't jerky-cam with MTV cuts.
There's numerous snippets of the monster after about 20 minutes
by Altered_Carbon
Jan 16th, 2008
09:23:44 AM
but you can't get a proper sense of it until later. But frankly, the monster design isn't really the most interesting thing about the film anyway. It could have been uglier for my liking, but the havoc it wreaks is pretty impressive.
Prepare for the tsunami of bile...
by Sledge Hammer
Jan 16th, 2008
09:25:29 AM
...because this thing is unfortunately rather mediocre at best, and when it doesn't live up to the ungodly levels of hype that have been stacked upon it things are gonna get mighty ugly methinks. Saw it a few hours ago, and honestly, while I'll give it points for trying a somewhat new approach to films like this, the story is wafer thin, and the characters are mostly complete fuckbags who are written as stereotypical paper thin archetypes rather than as real believable people, and as such overall mean nothing emotionally to the audience at all, thus their fates mean very little either, or at least that was certainly the case for this audience member. It's kind of a hard film to write about without spoiling things (because I know a lot of folks are really looking forward to this, so I don't want to be the fuckwad that ruins that), but honestly, lower your expectations folks, you'll probably have a better chance of having a passable time if you do. It really is a 21st century Blair Witch Project, in more ways than one. Oh, and the whole "it's just like 9/11" thing is such a crock of shit. Yeah, and Godzilla was just like Pearl Harbor too! I swear, ultimately the hype is going to do more harm than good once the masses get their chance to see it...
Altered_Carbon
by Damien Chowder
Jan 16th, 2008
09:28:54 AM
Well I will still watch it, I'm just dissapointed about Clovey's screentime is all. So basically we get a glimpse of Clovey not even a minute! Jeez....
I think it's gonna be cool.
by EvilGeek1
Jan 16th, 2008
09:31:42 AM
I don't know about a revolution in cinema. If you're walking into the theater with a biased stand-point or hatred just because you hate JJ Abrams, then you're bound to say it's shit. Also I'm fairly certain there are some people just spiting it for the fun of it. It's a monster movie! You can't take this shit too seriously.
Brad Renfro is dead?
by Sledge Hammer
Jan 16th, 2008
09:31:46 AM
What the fuck happened? Another 'young hollywood' suicide or O.D.? Tragic accident? Something else? Damn.
The cloverfield monster looks like a Lion...with inverted nipple
by Stupendous Man
Jan 16th, 2008
09:33:22 AM
Don't lie to us Massawyrm!!!!we know its true!
"very clear and deliberate parallels to 9/11...
by half vader
Jan 16th, 2008
09:35:28 AM
... that lends the film power and profound imagery"

What, you mean just like Hiroshima and Nagasaki influenced Godzilla (not to mention the insulting idea of capitalising on it for the sake of a new monster movie, which IS actually different than Godzilla's organic symbolism)? Yes, so original and thought-provoking...

Node...
by Vamp-AICNchat
Jan 16th, 2008
09:35:38 AM
...he isn't cool like Eli Roth :roll eyes:
See, by rights I should be the perfect audience...
by Sledge Hammer
Jan 16th, 2008
09:35:51 AM
...for something like this, I generally enjoy Abrams stuff, I love monster movies, but I just walked out with an overwhelming feeling of "was that it?". I dunno, maybe I'll be way off base and most people will love it, but I just found it terribly...average. At best. It just felt like one of those films that thinks it far cooler and cleverer and more cutting edge than it actually is, you know? Hope other people enjoy it, me, yeah, not so much. But, unless I'm way off base, I really do sense a big ol' backlash coming for this...
Tsunami of bile?
by Altered_Carbon
Jan 16th, 2008
09:36:30 AM
People will hate it, sure, and it's hardly like 9/11 (except for one scene which steals imagery from the event), but calling it mediocre and criticising the 'paper thin characters' (which I did while watching it, admittedly) detracts from the real achievement - which is the uncompromised and successful execution of a clear concept from start to finish, while simultaneously revitalising a tired genre. Reading back that sounds like small praise, but it isn't. This film, against all my expectations (and I really thought it would be shit) actually works.
Brad Renfro
by EvilGeek1
Jan 16th, 2008
09:37:07 AM
No known cause of death yet. Aw fuck man. I loved The Client.
"Rob, I saw it. It's Godzooky."
by classyfredblassy
Jan 16th, 2008
09:37:17 AM
So it that still funny now? Maybe if this does well we can finally get the Varan remake we deserver. Varan owns all man in suit monsters, even Gappa.
Also whats with The Blair Witch love on a whole?
by Damien Chowder
Jan 16th, 2008
09:37:20 AM
I remember my mates and I walking out of the cinema gut wrenched with underwelmazment. And when it came out on DVD it didn't take long to reach the bargain bin and to this day... I don't know anybody that owns it. One thing I'm reassured about though is the destruction at least there is that in Clovey
Not Hype. Just truth
by messi
Jan 16th, 2008
09:38:55 AM
This movie fucking rules.
The allusions to 9/11 are fucking stupid
by messi
Jan 16th, 2008
09:41:36 AM
I never saw it, I just saw realism. The dust? that's because there is debris and not an allusion to 9/11. overanalyzing it. maybe they did, but that doesn't mean it's better because someone goes 'hey let's allude to it, because we have, it means it's smart'. nothing like that.
I think the tsunami of bile will come...
by Sledge Hammer
Jan 16th, 2008
09:42:33 AM
...simply because it's not "the greatest thing ever", and that is what the hype was leading people to seemingly expect. Sure, some people will love it, some will hate it, and a whole bunch will land somewhere in between, but we're in fanboy land here, and any level of unfulfilled hype leads to backlash here, so that's why I think that we're going to see a huge level of backlash on this one. Deserved has nothing to do with it, just the fact that it's nowhere near God-like in it's awesomeness will be enough to start the hate train rolling. Still, I could be wrong. We'll see.
so, are inverted nipples...
by BigTexas42
Jan 16th, 2008
09:42:35 AM
the ones on a bad boob job that point straight up at the sky, or the ones that hang low on a pair of saggy ones that point right down at the floor?
Here's the monster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!
by Vamp-AICNchat
Jan 16th, 2008
09:42:40 AM
http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtm l?pk=3389
Seriously, it is
by Vamp-AICNchat
Jan 16th, 2008
09:43:20 AM
Looks cool.
Sledge Hammer
by half vader
Jan 16th, 2008
09:43:44 AM
Pearl Harbour??
Can anyone confirm that this IS the monster?
by Vamp-AICNchat
Jan 16th, 2008
09:44:07 AM
http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtm l?pk=3389
If you look up 'overselling' in the dictionary...
by Darkman
Jan 16th, 2008
09:44:12 AM
...you'll find the definition of the word 'overselling', and damned if that's not what people are doing for CLOVERFIELD. (BTW, what is the significance of the title, if any?)

However, no amount of overselling is getting my ass in a theater to see this movie. Yep, I'm gonna be that guy. It doesn't look terrible, but...it just doesn't look that interesting.

Oh, and to any fanatics thinking 'Well, maybe MEET THE SPARTANS would be more interesting to you', allow me to respond with a preemptive 'Get fucked!'.
How do you approach this movie?
by EvilGeek1
Jan 16th, 2008
09:44:38 AM
Watching movies is all about switching off and losing yourself to a world and set of circumstances a step out of reality. It seems like the arguments against it are pedantic to say the least. And then you get spiteful people saying mean things because the review didn't meet their standards. Cheap shots!
that review makes me want to see it now...
by just pillow talk
Jan 16th, 2008
09:44:45 AM
Good review.

So Messi, this movie got some balls or what?

I think the monster is a Bear, Pillow
by Kloipy
Jan 16th, 2008
09:46:58 AM
or The Bates
People being paid to keep the hype going?
by performingmonkey
Jan 16th, 2008
09:48:01 AM
I'm sorry but saying it compares to Aliens, Matrix etc in terms of what it does for the genre sounds almost like studio talk. If it weren't for the inverted nipples (lol) I'd say this was written by a suit.
Comparing ANY film to "United 93" is BLASPHEMY
by uss cygnus
Jan 16th, 2008
09:48:03 AM
I seriously doubt this "Blair Witch" ripoff ends with the group charging the monster and the coward at the controls of the monster intentionally crashing the monster into the ground while screaming "God is great" in Arabic, saving untold lives in Washington, D.C..
Food companies commence Cloverfield advertising camaign!
by EvilGeek1
Jan 16th, 2008
09:48:54 AM
Starting with I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT VOLTRON
Darkman man you are stupid
by messi
Jan 16th, 2008
09:49:40 AM
when you were a kid did you think 'gee that movie doesn't look interesting' you watch movies for entertainment. you enjoy them. this is in that category.
H.P. Lovecraft has chosen inverted nipples, here's why...
by gridbug
Jan 16th, 2008
09:49:43 AM
Cthulhu f'thagn!
DISASTER PORN = Cloverfield, I Am Legend, ...Etc.
by uss cygnus
Jan 16th, 2008
09:50:38 AM
You could classify this as a fetish. People get off on watching NYC get blown up. Sickness.
Alright, let's do this already!!!
by calnorso
Jan 16th, 2008
09:51:00 AM
Friday can't come fast enough
Hey Darkman, I think you might like Meet the Spartans
by Kloipy
Jan 16th, 2008
09:51:41 AM
Vamp-AICNchat
by messi
Jan 16th, 2008
09:51:55 AM
that pretty much is the monster, at least the anatomical design, but it's not spiky and looks more softer, think that monster but the with the skin and smoothness(no bumps) of a stingray. by the way you hardly ever get to see a full still shot of the monster in all it's glory.
But Cloverfied is as fictional as United 93
by performingmonkey
Jan 16th, 2008
09:52:36 AM
In fact, U93 is perhaps MORE of a fiction because it's masquerading as truth. At least no-one's watching Cloverfield wondering if it really happened.
just pillow talk alot of balls
by messi
Jan 16th, 2008
09:53:45 AM
it's just filmed so damn well, I mean the story of what is happening to these characters but also the editing and framing and how every scene unfolds. plus some serious fucking shit, the way the military comes in and out in certain parts is just awesome.
viral marketing spam campaign
by CuervoJones
Jan 16th, 2008
09:54:26 AM
I`don´t give a shit about that. If the movie is good, i will say "the movie is good". Marketing is irrelevant.
Messi...
by Vamp-AICNchat
Jan 16th, 2008
09:54:35 AM
...why is the monster here?
It's just a good movie guys
by messi
Jan 16th, 2008
09:56:49 AM
remember when you were a kid and you didn't complain and you watched movies because they entertained you etc. You remember that? you just have a good time and enjoy what you are watching, that's this movie.

by box
Jan 16th, 2008
09:56:55 AM
dunk my oreo's in some chocolate milk bitch!
"United 93=Fiction?" Ah, Another Ron Paul Supporter!
by uss cygnus
Jan 16th, 2008
09:57:26 AM
Go ahead, waste your vote.
Even if you don't like it, at least it is better than
by Kloipy
Jan 16th, 2008
09:58:14 AM
another Saw movie
I only counted 4 different kinds of Apeshit. 3 were repeats.
by Pound Sand
Jan 16th, 2008
10:00:29 AM
"Zodiac=Fiction". And I'm a Ron Paul supporter.
by Ashok0
Jan 16th, 2008
10:01:32 AM
Just kidding.
Vamp-AICNchat
by messi
Jan 16th, 2008
10:01:40 AM
they never explain anything, which is awesome, a monster just attacks NY and they deal with it as it happens, the main players try to survive and the military does it's thing. It is awesome, no need for explanations or to know what the military is planning or where they heard it. it's just from the point of view of the partygoers.
“Every moment in this film is carefully planned”
by TheLastCleric
Jan 16th, 2008
10:01:43 AM
I’m pulling this quote out of your review because frankly, it seems contradictory. “What you also haven't seen is a found footage film told with this level of sophistication. I'm not talking about the budget, I mean the attention to detail, pacing and cinematography. Every moment in this film is carefully planned, wonderfully crafted and perfectly executed.” A “found” film really shouldn’t contain any of these elements, should it? One of the reasons Blair Witch worked (at least in terms of selling the idea that the footage was genuine) is that it was often sloppy, unorganized and generally shot like a legitimate documentary that went wrong. If Cloverfield is everything you claim, wouldn’t those elements detract from the type of film it is supposed to be? I’m not trying to hate on this film because I’m actually pretty excited to see it come Friday but your comments don’t mesh with what the filmmakers are supposedly trying to accomplish.
Lofty praise...
by Lost Skeleton
Jan 16th, 2008
10:02:53 AM
...let's hope it holds up. Can't wait to see it
found footage argument
by astro1
Jan 16th, 2008
10:03:47 AM
unlike Blair Witch, I don't remember Cloverfield trying to position this as "Authentic" footage. So having some attention to detail isn't a bad thing. Then again, everyone on this board nitpicks shit to death. I'll be there friday in line waiting to see the monster vag in all it's glory.
TheLastCleric
by messi
Jan 16th, 2008
10:04:32 AM
not really. it's carefully planned but it still seems realistic like it's just happening. what the filmmakers are trying to accomplish is a monster movie shot from the pov of partygoers, it's crazy but still you need to plan the shots that show the monster, you need to plan to show the military comes out of the street for impact etc.
performingmonkey
by classyfredblassy
Jan 16th, 2008
10:06:41 AM
Do you have a tin foil hat I can borrow?
C vAvP: Requiem^H^H^H ested.
by Diagnostic
Jan 16th, 2008
10:07:26 AM
Now thats a summer blockbuster.
In Brooklyn holding 3 tickets to see the earliest screening..
by worldofwarcraft
Jan 16th, 2008
10:09:55 AM
... the earliest screening and I can't wait. Overhyped? A movie.. no, an EVENT like this deserves as much hype as possible, because you just know it's gonna live up to all expectations, and possibly exceed whatever hopes we have for it. THIS IS WHY WE COME TO AICN, for flicks like this. Fuck No Country, and all that other Oscar worthy shit. This is it, right here, and I for one, am going out of my mind with anticipation to see THE event of the year... Meet the Spartans! And I know I might be setting myself up for disappointment, but this looks even better than Scary Movie 2, right?
It is up there with Godzilla?
by newc0253
Jan 16th, 2008
10:12:31 AM
Dude, i hope you don't mean the shitty hollywood version from the late 90s because that is no way to raise my expectations. Other than that, good review.
we need MNG in here now
by Kloipy
Jan 16th, 2008
10:18:54 AM
someone said "Cthulhu"
So it IS Cthulhu!
by Abin Sur
Jan 16th, 2008
10:18:58 AM
I feel vindicated. Suck it, Voltron!
"one of the most wildly unique, well constructed viral campaigns
by noiretblanc
Jan 16th, 2008
10:20:07 AM
that quote is why i personally cannot like the rest of the article's perspective
Confirmed: Douchebag Alert...
by gridbug
Jan 16th, 2008
10:24:20 AM
Looks like the NeoCon Buttfuck Brigade is gearing up again... can't you assholes just leave well enough alone whenever someone posits a conflicting THEORETICAL OPINION that counters your thumb sucking warm fuzzy view of Noble America Beseiged By Evil "Izzlammo-Fashists"? Get a fucking life you rah rah retards. And please, feel free to expel as much vitriol as you want. It's always a joy seeing you get all wound up and spouting your usual tired old bullshit. :)
i also wonder how a regular douche with a cam
by noiretblanc
Jan 16th, 2008
10:24:50 AM
can shoot such prime movie-worthy footage amidst a life and death situation. that's probably the toughest sell the movie's got going against it
I hope they never make a voltron movie
by Kloipy
Jan 16th, 2008
10:27:53 AM
in your face "it's a lion" people!
Viral Marketing
by Super Rabbi
Jan 16th, 2008
10:28:36 AM
I like The Dark Knight marketing better, I mean how awesome is it to have a bunch of faux-Jokers running around San Diego.
Harry says that Cloverfield tastes like Strawberry Flavored anal
by Kloipy
Jan 16th, 2008
10:29:54 AM
coming from Estelle Getty
good to hear messi
by just pillow talk
Jan 16th, 2008
10:29:59 AM
and I wouldn't want them to explain why the monster is here.

Kloipy, it could be a bear with THE BATES face. Oh the humanity!

nah, Harry says it tastes like peanut butter
by just pillow talk
Jan 16th, 2008
10:31:06 AM
that's been sitting in someone's ass crack for days.
Pillow, that's 'grizzly' , man
by Kloipy
Jan 16th, 2008
10:31:24 AM
I was really hoping that Cloverfield was going to be
by Kloipy
Jan 16th, 2008
10:36:00 AM
a new Leprechaun movie
DID SOMEBODY SAY CTHULHU?
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Jan 16th, 2008
10:41:25 AM
Awww yeah! Still hanging in there at #1 on the Billboard "What The Hell Was That?" Chart, biznooches! Cue it up and watch me tear it down!

C, c, c, c
T, t, t, t
H, h, h, h
U, u, u, u
L, l, l, l
H, h, h, h
U, u, u, u

CTHULHU!!!

We can dance like Cthulhu
We can answer to his call
Watch him kick Lady Liberty's head
down the road like a soccer ball

Say, we can dance like Cthulhu
Live it up while the livin's good
Cause once he awakens, the world starts shakin'
and there goes the neighborhood

Say, we can dance, we can dance
Great Old Ones are in control
We can dance, we can dance
Hear them callin' the call
We can dance, we can dance
Terror makes you go in a trance
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody's shitting their p-a-a-nts

The Cthulhu Dance
The Cthulhu Dance
The Cthulhu Dance
Yeah!

It's the CTHULHU DANCE!!!

It IS a Leprechaun movie...
by turketron
Jan 16th, 2008
10:42:34 AM
Leprechaun is inside of his mobile suit of course.
and yet another AICNer tries to be Neill Cumpston
by ArcadianDS
Jan 16th, 2008
10:43:26 AM
The scatalogical references are a crutch for writers who have no confidence in their ability to captivate a reader with what they have to say and how they are trying to say it. Its the empty calorie, high fructose corn syrup of literature, and I'm disappointed each and every time I see a writer with any measure of talent resort to this childhood security blanket.

Your writing stands on its own legs, Mass. You dont need to put up these facades of 'edgy shock' to get people to read and dig your writing. Writers are like garage rock bands. Some of them are just so good, that people notice, and they tell others, and next thing you know, a producer shows up at one of their hole-in-the-wall truck stop saloon gigs, and they become the next big success. Other bands unfortunately, just do not have what it takes - they lack the soul and the sound. So what do they do? They hire hookers and strippers to cavort themselves all over the stage in the hopes that people won't notice how bad their music stinks, and how uncoordinated their drummer actually is.

You dont need the hookers on your stage, Mass. Your sound is good enough without it - stop selling yourself short.

Soylent, the cover up the "fucks" with
by Kloipy
Jan 16th, 2008
10:43:49 AM
monster growls.
Node32774 please don't turn this talkback...
by classyfredblassy
Jan 16th, 2008
10:43:53 AM
into another political hissy fit here. We are talking about Giant Monsters here, and Godzooky, and the Cthulhu Dance.
thank you MNG
by Kloipy
Jan 16th, 2008
10:45:22 AM
I just left my friends behind in Arkham
gridbug
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Jan 16th, 2008
10:46:13 AM
Why so serious?
Another MONSTER sketch...
by Ebixby
Jan 16th, 2008
10:49:32 AM
is it even close? http://i63.photobucket.com/alb ums/h145/Eroybixby/c lfsketch2.jpg take out space
NICE GAIUS!
by messi
Jan 16th, 2008
10:49:33 AM
You're back. back from the future.
Cloverfield is a documentary from 2012A.D.
by turketron
Jan 16th, 2008
10:50:22 AM
What are you waiting for, a certain shade of green?
messi
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Jan 16th, 2008
10:53:46 AM
Back indeed. Tanned. Rested. Ready.
Looks like all you haters who "knew"...
by DoctorWho?
Jan 16th, 2008
10:57:15 AM
...what this movie was all about,typing away in certainty without having seen it may have some recanting to do.
if you read the negative review
by noiretblanc
Jan 16th, 2008
11:02:08 AM
you might see that there might not be any recanting after all
Fair Enough
by TheLastCleric
Jan 16th, 2008
11:03:34 AM
Again, I'm actually looking forward to this so my comments were not intended to slam the film, I'm just curious how this differs from other movies in this subgenre. From what I'm reading and hearing, it's really about a grander scale so as long as we get some real, clear shots of the best, I'll be satisfied. That said, I think the original trailer was very well done but overall I think the viral marketing for The Dark Knight has been better.
"United 93" is slightly speculative, granted...BUT....
by uss cygnus
Jan 16th, 2008
11:03:42 AM
We know what happened on United 93 through recorded cellphone calls between the passengers and people on the ground. We have air traffic control radio tapes. We have the cockpit voice recorder, the flight data recorder. Khalid Sheikh Mohmammed, the logistical planner of the attacks, admitted in interrogation @ Club Git'mo that Flight 93's target *was* the U.S. Capitol. We know the identity of the hijackers, the identity of every passenger, we have eyewitness testimony of the actual plane crash. I'm not a conspiracy nut. I laugh at those who *are* conspiracy nuts. And Ron Paul supporters. But, we won't get into that any further right now. I just can't stand Americans who hate America.
Yes, I mentioned Cthulhu!
by Abin Sur
Jan 16th, 2008
11:06:01 AM
And I see that it was not wasted! Thank you as always, Gaius.
god bless americans' america
by noiretblanc
Jan 16th, 2008
11:11:55 AM
yeehaw
And for no reason: FLORIDA - AMERICA'S WANG
by Abin Sur
Jan 16th, 2008
11:14:00 AM
They prefer "The Sunshine State."
What, I'm really the only person in the free world...
by Darkman
Jan 16th, 2008
11:14:45 AM
...who won't be seeing this movie?

If you really believe that, I have a bridge to sell you.
AMERICAAA FUCK YEAH!
by turketron
Jan 16th, 2008
11:15:03 AM
CTHULHU YOUR GAME IS THROUGH

NOW YOU HAVE TO ANSWER TO

AMERICAAA!!! FUCK YEAH!!!

COMIN AGAIN TO SAVE THE MOTHERFUCKIN DAY YEAH!

And like the Blair Witch...
by Stuntman Shaun
Jan 16th, 2008
11:15:07 AM
This flick is suffering from serious overhype. Blair Witch was, and Cloverfield is becoming, pop culture leeches that cannot possibly live up to the hype and media bombardment the average person is presented with on a daily basis. It's Episode 1 hype in a nutshell. Eventually people are going to be sick of this movie because if it's successful, again like Blair W, some of the most prominent images of this film are going to be parodied on Saturday Night Live, Mad TV, Scary Movie/Date Movie/Epic Movie et cetera, until it becomes a sore in the proverbial pop culture eye. I enjoyed the Blair Witch and had only seen one or two commercials for it going in, and having no expectations it exceeded them. I only wish I had the same opportunity with Cloverfield.
I've never seen Blair Witch
by turketron
Jan 16th, 2008
11:16:38 AM
Nor do I ever plan to. I do plan to see Cloverfield though. Different strokes.
wtf? hype?
by turketron
Jan 16th, 2008
11:20:42 AM
Isn't every movie trailer that has a voiceover basically full of hype? What the fuck?
and by voiceover i mean
by turketron
Jan 16th, 2008
11:22:41 AM
any one that says something like "Rolling Stone says 'You'll shit bricks'"... "'5 stars' says joe nutsack". Not the voiceovers that say "In a world where yadda yadda yadda".
********** STAR TREK TEASER **********
by PRESIDENT BALTAR
Jan 16th, 2008
11:36:44 AM
************************DESCRI PTION SPOILERS********************** ******* Slow Paramount logo. Bad Robot logo. Black, suddenly some sparks (very saturated [with] Michael Bay-looking cinematography). We hear an old NASA radio countdown: “30 seconds and counting.” Close up of a timeless guy with goggles leaning down doing some wielding and sparks flying around. He lifts his googles. Slightly futuristic head covering. It’s not a space suit, by the way. The dude leans down and wields some more. He’s standing on big metal. “From director J.J. Abrams” (blue font with a nice lens flare). Some Kennedy speech about space flight: “The eyes of the world now look to space.” People walking around the saucer section. The wielders are everywhere – showing size. We hear: “The eagle has landed.” Huge overhead shot pans across [and] suddenly [shows] what looks like miles of scaffolding underneath. Title: “The future begins”. Really impressive shot from … people all over the ship and you can see a huge industrialized city or shipyard in the background. It’s being built on Earth [rather than] in space. Neil Armstrong: “One small step for man…” Camera slowly cranes up over the whole saucer section. Then we hear Leonard Nimoy’s line: “Space. The final frontier…” and the familiar “Star Trek” theme horns. The shot continues [and reveals] the writing on the top of the saucer – “U.S.S. Enterprise” – and these huge aircraft-like warp engines in the background. Technically, the first reveal of what we’re seeing. Just the Starfleet logo (no title). Title card: “Under construction”. “Christmas 2008”
Only three minutes of monster and shakycam?
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Jan 16th, 2008
11:39:51 AM
I'm not going to see this unless any of the geeks I know personally recommend this. I'm not spending ten bucks trying not to have an epileptic seizure because someone went to the Tony/Ridley Scott Shakycam School for Aspiring Filmakers.
DID SOMEBODY SAY LION?
by 'Cholera's Ghost
Jan 16th, 2008
11:50:30 AM
Now you broke it and you can't fix it, muthafuckas! No goin' back now...

B b b b
I i i i
G g g g
L l l l
I i i i
O o o o
N n n n

LION!

We can dance like a lion
He is the king of beasts
And when he starts growin'
Destruction he’s sowin'
Takes down buildings like a wildebeest

Say, we can dance like a lion
We can take part in the hunt
Predatory cat will own your ass
Now everybody’s on the run

We can dance like a lion
New York City is now his jungle
Watch him eat yo’ peeps up and down the street
Kill your main dude and your uncle

Say, we can dance, we can dance
And I doth quote “[It is] huge”
We can dance, we can dance
Lookin’ for a bridge to chew
We can dance, we can dance
He’s breakin the convenience store glass
We can dance, we can dance
Blood fillin' all your safari pants

It’s the Lion Dance
The Lion Dance
The Lion
Yeah!

It's the LION DANCE!!!


by jonnynyc
Jan 16th, 2008
11:57:46 AM
did that review really have to open with that sexist garbage?
"the monster is a BEAR pillow"
by PROF IKAMONO
Jan 16th, 2008
12:06:08 PM
... that made me laugh...

... does that mean that Rob and the others are "pursued by bear"?

... a little inside joke for all of us who have nothing to do until Heroes comes back on the air...

Anyone who has ever dated a girl with inverted nipples knows exa
by The_Bat
Jan 16th, 2008
12:10:31 PM
As a girl with 38 DD's with inverted nipples I HAVE NEVER HAD ANY COMPLAINTS. Kiss my inverted nippled ass! Looking forward to Cloverfield.
Turketron...
by Stuntman Shaun
Jan 16th, 2008
12:11:26 PM
I don't know if you were referring to my post on hype or not...hype is a general media outpour and overall buzz of a film that is not bound to the selling points of a trailer. Loads of purchased air time, blietzkrieg internet marketing and overly enthusiastic reviews constitute, to me, as over hyping. The Matrix had no real hype and a less than 30 million opening weekend, nothing pointing to a phenomenon. Word of the film spread and we all no the rest. Mostly that doesn't happen, as enough money invested into marketing a studio can pretty much ensure itself a strong opening weekend. This movie may be good, even great, but unless Cloverfield is the breathtaking revolution it has been made out to be it will have one or two number one weekends, make it's money back and be forgotten a few years from now. The last movie I can remember living up to expectations like this was T2.
I didn't whether to keep reading
by Abominable Snowcone
Jan 16th, 2008
12:12:01 PM
the review, or pull out my johnson and commence masturbation. So I did both. Thanks, AiCN!
eeeww you have inverted nipples!!!
by Kloipy
Jan 16th, 2008
12:12:10 PM
just wanted to be the first to complain
nice Prof....
by just pillow talk
Jan 16th, 2008
12:19:47 PM
Abom, I'm sending Summer Glau over to read the article to you and 'help' you with your masturbation. She'll be in full terminator mode, so be prepared for "judgment day".
Kloipy...Why eeeww?
by The_Bat
Jan 16th, 2008
12:20:49 PM
Why is there a reason to complain. Just becuase a girl's nipples are not out when it's warm doesn't mean they are not nice when they are cold. Is her play going to be sabotaged by her recessive genes? I think not. I can still get it on just fine thank you.
The_Bat, i was just kidding
by Kloipy
Jan 16th, 2008
12:24:17 PM
it's better to be inverted than National Geographic long
... not abear, not exactly a lion...
by PROF IKAMONO
Jan 16th, 2008
12:27:17 PM
... behold now the true terror...

http://i194.photobucket.com /albums/z276/Kingoffunny_2007/ lolcloverfieldor9.jpg

...please to fill in the gaps... I still can't get the TinyUrl to work...

"Overhyped" is probably the lamest criticism ever used
by ebonic_plague
Jan 16th, 2008
12:27:21 PM
Of course it's overhyped, everything is fucking overhyped these days, from car insurance to snake-oil boner pills. You motherfuckers are the only ones that go out of your way to binge on pre-release viral marketing gimmicks and overanalyze the shit by dissecting the trailer frame-by-frame, and by the time the movie shows up on the mainstream's radar, you're more than ready to write it off as "overhyped" to show off indie geek movie cred. Well boo hoo for you. If hype is a problem for you when it comes to movies, I'd suggest you step away from the computer for a minute or two and give yourself a break.
'Cholera's Ghost
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Jan 16th, 2008
12:29:10 PM
Aww man! Don't make me come over there...and...and...

DJ DANCE-OFF!

GO!!!

"seeing your girlfriend naked for the very first time"
by leobloom
Jan 16th, 2008
12:31:46 PM
Gotta get the girlfriend before you can see her naked. Perhaps a better simile would have been to say it's like seeing that hot girl undress in a porn video.
I know...
by The_Bat
Jan 16th, 2008
12:33:02 PM
I was too. hehe
Han Solo saw Cloverfield
by Abominable Snowcone
Jan 16th, 2008
12:33:05 PM
and says the monster is a "slimy piece of worm-ridden filth."
Xiphos
by messi
Jan 16th, 2008
12:38:03 PM
I know what you mean but I say that in respect to people in this site who forget why they watched movies in the first place as kids. I doubt any of them went into movies looking for ideas on the human psyche or how modern politics influence the world. understand what i'm saying.
Ebonic
by Stuntman Shaun
Jan 16th, 2008
12:39:56 PM
Who exactly were you addressing with your post? I'd like to be sure before exchanging a war or words, because I saw no detailed analysis of trailers scenes or a proclaimed love for indie flicks in my post. I was pointing the finger at the media and studios and in no way revealed my thoughts on the movie itself.
Not enthused yet
by Messyjoe
Jan 16th, 2008
12:40:03 PM
Ok I am willing to admit I am not really big with most monsters. Generally they are ugly to look at, right? Also, some sappy love story? You are making me want to see Transformers again so I can look at Megan Fox. Anyway it's a good review, except for the nipple thing. And he sort of guarantees it to be good.
First thing I'm going to do after I get home from work...
by turketron
Jan 16th, 2008
12:56:40 PM
google "inverted nipples"

giggety giggety gig-ge-tee

The ONLY thing worse than inverted nipples...
by cornponious
Jan 16th, 2008
12:56:40 PM
would be a cock.
no, the only thing worse than inverted nipples
by turketron
Jan 16th, 2008
12:57:25 PM
Shitting dicknipples. Look it up.
We get what we desrve
by Winterkdv
Jan 16th, 2008
12:59:49 PM
It is a sorry state of affairs when a film like cloverfield garners such good reviews then again as in politics so entertainment...we get what we deserve...crap... and thats what is delivered. We as fans of genere films need to stand up and vote with our dollars to hold directors and producers to task to make the very best they can. If you drive the point home to the banks who fund the studios then it will work. Vote with your dollars, and preserve the most precious thing you have ...time... To think that we now put Blade runner (a required viewing film) in the same league as Cloverfield is disheartening at best and a sure sign of the proliferation of lowest common denominator film making at worst. i am saddened at the state of fandom, of the review sites online and of the pandering hacks in Hollywood who are getting your dollars and your time. we really do live in Rome...and we really do get what we deserve
DID SOMEBODY SAY INVERTED NIPPLE???
by BringingSexyBack
Jan 16th, 2008
01:02:09 PM
I, i, i, i, i ... N, n, n, n, n ... V, v, v, v, v ... Never mind, I gotta go pee.
Comparing this to films like JAWS and BLadeRunner will inevitabl
by TheLastCleric
Jan 16th, 2008
01:16:01 PM
Comparing this to films like JAWS and Bladerunner will inevitably blow up in your face. The problem with extolling Cloverfield as equal to seminal films like JAWS and Aliens is that those films, along with being the template for just about everything that followed, have also benefitted from years of analysis and cultural reaction spanning two generations of moviegoers and critics. Even if Cloverfield is as good as some are professing, comparing it to these groundbreaking films is a mistake. Also, the Matrix doesn’t even deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as something like Bladerunner or Aliens, pop culture notwithstanding.
Node32774, did you just call me "Chief"?
by classyfredblassy
Jan 16th, 2008
01:17:20 PM
How did you know I am 1/26 Woodbe Indian? just like Ward Churchill. In other words, I woodbe and Indian is I was a kraut.
Inverted Nipples
by mprose
Jan 16th, 2008
01:18:19 PM
Wow, every fifth poster is touching on the inverted nipples comment. Allow me to weigh in with my own 2 cents. You see when you finally get to see your first pair of tits up close, assuming that you're in typical "highschool teen comedy" mode with the absolute A+ girl that you thought you'd never have a shot with... you picture some perfect mammary based off your rapidly spiking hormones, some plastic girl you saw in a porn, and imagination. This king-breast, you think, is going to be the 9th wonder of the world and will ultimately solve global warming and famine across the globe. The anticipation, wonder, and delight are sometimes worth more than the price of admission (ie if Lost turns out to be a huuge flop with a horrible ending, all the fun I had conversing about it and theorizing wouldn't have been any less enjoyable). Now the bra comes off- whammo. Inverted nipple. Now, don't get me wrong, it's still great. It just falls short of the Platonic Ideal chesticle that you had pictures, and the disappointment is profound.
Oh yeah
by mprose
Jan 16th, 2008
01:19:58 PM
Darkman, you may want to try "Meet the Spartans". I hear that's right up your alley
JUST SQUEEZE THE TIT UNTIL THE NIP POPS OUT
by BringingSexyBack
Jan 16th, 2008
01:23:19 PM
and ice it til it's stiff. Done.
AS FOR CLOVERFIELD, I'M GONNA WAIT FOR SOME TBers' REACTIONS
by BringingSexyBack
Jan 16th, 2008
01:26:50 PM
Not that that wasn't a great review, Massa, but sounds too good to be true. I don't mind a captivating story told against a backdrop of giant monster mayhem, and in fact welcome it, but no viral marketing campaign can compensate for the opinions of one's peers. And for this movie I need some consensus view. Plenty of great movies I haven't even seen yet, like No Country, There Will Be Blood, Orphanage ...
Inverted Nipples ans Profound Disappointment
by The_Bat
Jan 16th, 2008
01:29:52 PM
Sounds the young film geeks of this site have to many porn mags and teen sex comedies at home to whakc off too. Instead disappoinment you should be thankful that you are looking at real ones instead of daydreming as you pop your zits and choke the chicken. The next time I see an uncircumcised male I will remind myself I should be disppointed that they don't look like John Holmes or even Ron Jeremy.
AND MESSI, I RESPECT YOUR OPINION
by BringingSexyBack
Jan 16th, 2008
01:31:14 PM
but you also liked Transformers so ...
golden
by ballsxcrew
Jan 16th, 2008
01:48:29 PM
"Now I know. Because this isn't for the summer blockbuster crowd. This film is too heavy for them. It is the summer blockbuster for people who fucking hate summer blockbusters." wow some of the best shit ive ever heard. cant wait till tommorow.
Nice Gaius
by gridbug
Jan 16th, 2008
01:57:27 PM
Probably because I have a super low tolerance for willfull stupidity... hey, I dropped a Cthulhu inverted nipple comment first though, which has to count for something? :D
Americans are "jingoistic"
by classyfredblassy
Jan 16th, 2008
01:59:06 PM
But when the Tailiban targets restaurant works because they are "foreigners" = Silence of the Moonbats. They need to work on the diversity sensitivity don't you think?
"Blue Demon" remake now!!
by classyfredblassy
Jan 16th, 2008
02:01:09 PM
I know its only 4 years old, but what the hell. Mutant Sharks = box office gold.
Sounds more like a cross between Signs, Godzilla and Blair Witch
by theycallmemrglass
Jan 16th, 2008
02:11:00 PM
Signs mostly because, the bigger picture was in the background until the riveting climaxes as the background finally comes face to face with our protagonists. I cant Friggn wait to see this in UK. I am so psyched up for this.
Stuntman Shaun
by ebonic_plague
Jan 16th, 2008
02:12:03 PM
I wasn't replying to anyone in particular, and I'm not (particularly) trying to flamebait anybody, but I still think that if someone is "overhyped" on this movie it's their own doing. Maybe with a franchise like Star Wars, or Harry Potter, or LOTR, you could make a case for the hype setting some unrealistic expectations (or at least setting up a backlash against non-stop media bombardment), but until I'm groaning at omnipresent cross-marketed, product placement advertising and Burger King toy tie-ins, the marketing should not interfere with the enjoyment of a movie, unless you're the kind of person that seeks out and naively believes the hype (which I suspect is the problem for most people here.) I can see how AICN might be over-hyping this movie, but shit, if ridiculously gushing hyperbole is a problem for you, why are you on a site like AICN run by a guy like Harry? OF COURSE Harry's gonna say it's the greatest thing ever, and OF COURSE the marketing campaign is going to go on TRL and Access Hollywood to build it up as even greater than that... but if that ruins the movie-going experience for you, you should really stop mainlining this pre-production/insider/teaser shit and you might find yourself less disappointed in future films.
Inverted chocolate-coated nipples
by Abominable Snowcone
Jan 16th, 2008
02:20:20 PM
Slather them in your face, enjoy
mprose
by Abominable Snowcone
Jan 16th, 2008
02:24:57 PM
Good analysis. I get the same reaction from the ladies when they meet Mr. Johnson. They think he's gonna be some, you know, "normal" thing they can easily accomodate. But without fail, they see the size of this monster kelbasi and they get scared, and it's always comments like, "Um, I don't know if I can handle this..."

I'm joking, of course. I'm Irish and the god who does not exist failed to bless me with monster size. :(

right on, Massa
by Grendy
Jan 16th, 2008
02:34:54 PM
Can't WAIT. Will be possibly wearing my Slusho shirt. Maybe not. Don't want to be 'that guy' maybe. Women have inverted nipples? As a woman I find this weird. I mean, she gets excited and her shirt gets sucked in? Weird I say...
INVERTED NIPS: THE MOVIE *
by BringingSexyBack
Jan 16th, 2008
02:51:00 PM
A remake of Face/Off starring Ken Watanabe and Gedde Watanabe.

* With apologies to all Japanese talkbackers. I apologize on behalf of Hollywood, as usual.

TALIBAN AREN'T JINGOISTIC
by BringingSexyBack
Jan 16th, 2008
02:52:31 PM
They're cwazy.
BSB
by ebonic_plague
Jan 16th, 2008
02:55:05 PM
That, sir, is comedy gold.
A few caveats about Cloverfield (no spoilers)
by v1
Jan 16th, 2008
02:56:05 PM
After seeing Cloverfield, I thought I might throw some warnings your way. Things that may prevent someone from liking the movie. No spoilers in this comment... Take from it what you will.

Caveat 1) If you can’t handle “Shaky Cam,” this is probably not the movie for you.

Caveat 2) If you don’t lime movies that have vague, open endings, where everything is not wrapped up in a tidy little package at the end of the day, this is probably not the movie for you.

Caveat 3) If you are incensed by the idea of any movie having footage and situations that are reminiscent of 9/11, this is probably not the movie for you.

Caveat 4) If you don’t like movies that kick ass, defy Hollywood conventions, reinvigorate genres, this is probably not the movie for you.

Caveat 5) If you don’t like movies that deliver true suspense, not edge of the seat suspense, I mean the kind of suspense that keeps you literally pushing away from the screen, trying to bury yourself into your seat because the suspense was so taut and ruthless, ala Alien, Jaws, etc, this may not be the movie for you.

This WAS the movie for me. I flat out Loved it.

Caveat 2) should read "like" not
by v1
Jan 16th, 2008
02:57:16 PM
lime
by v1
Jan 16th, 2008
02:57:54 PM
I hate not being able to edit posts... I'm just saying...
THANKS EBONIC
by BringingSexyBack
Jan 16th, 2008
02:58:17 PM
You must not be Japanese ...
V1 - CAVEAT #3 PRETTY MUCH KILLS IT FOR ME
by BringingSexyBack
Jan 16th, 2008
03:02:30 PM
Thanks for the warning. Been there, seen that shit live and in person.
Yeah but was it as good as "Mansquito"?
by classyfredblassy
Jan 16th, 2008
03:05:45 PM
SCI-FI channels gold standard of monster movies. I know, that's a high bar.
Have a screening tomorrow evening
by Novaman5000
Jan 16th, 2008
03:25:06 PM
and I'm fucking psyched.
the line is...
by emeraldboy
Jan 16th, 2008
03:28:59 PM
I saw it. its alive and its huge. There is no lion. Go and check out the new years eve trailer. its on youtube......
Bringingsexyback...
by v1
Jan 16th, 2008
03:34:01 PM
Sorry to hear that you had to see that live and in person. I can only imagine what that must have felt like.

There is one main sequence that pretty much feels like it could have been footage of 9/11 at night. It's a small scene but the parallels are obvious.

For me it did not detract from the mvoie. I feel post 9/11 any movie with buildings coming down will have a similar look. Americans now have that experiance as a frame of reference, and anything else will feel fake.

Hopefully you'll be able to watch the movie at some point without having that as a distraction for you.

I hope the Cloverfield monster has MANTITS...
by travis-dane
Jan 16th, 2008
03:42:11 PM
with BIG inverted nipples,those sweaty BIG nipples!That would get me going hard and sweaty too!OH mama,yumi.
One of the local DJs in New York saw this...
by andyny29
Jan 16th, 2008
03:44:37 PM
he said that the herky jerky camera work made him so sick he had to close his eyes.
Sounds Cool, But Does It Top THE HOST?
by LaserPants
Jan 16th, 2008
03:45:40 PM
THE HOST being, hands down, the best giant monster movie ever made, with characters I not only cared about, I just about fell in love with. Does it top that? Or is it on par with? I doubt it could top it, but on par with I could believe.
Wow, A Local New York DJ?!
by LaserPants
Jan 16th, 2008
03:48:29 PM
Dude, throw a rock in any direction and you'll hit a New York DJ. That doesn't really rate as "street cred."
A Local Wedding DJ From Hackensack NJ Saw This...
by LaserPants
Jan 16th, 2008
03:51:10 PM
He said it was pretty cool, but he wasted a night of good tips spinning at his cousin's second marriage reception in order to see it, so he's kinda bummed.
WAS THE DJ ELVIS DURAN?
by BringingSexyBack
Jan 16th, 2008
03:52:38 PM
He fucking annoys me. I hope he threw up in his mouth and ate his vomit.
V1 -
by BringingSexyBack
Jan 16th, 2008
03:56:14 PM
Actually what's bugging me more is Quint saying it got 3 minutes of the big monster. I don't know if that's worth the time considering I haven't seen other great movies yet.
A Local DJ From Cleveland, Ohio Saw This...
by LaserPants
Jan 16th, 2008
03:56:14 PM
And he said it helped distract himself from his empty, boring, meaningless life for an hour or two, so he loved it.
A Local Garbage Collector From Baltimore, MD Saw This...
by LaserPants
Jan 16th, 2008
04:00:06 PM
He said something unintelligible, took a copious swig of Mad Dog 20/20 from his spittle covered flask, and threw a giant hefty bag into the back of his truck. As the bag smacked against the cold metal, something ruptured and he was splattered with some kind of rancid mayonaise. In response to this rather gross turn of events he grunted, wiped the good off of his overalls with his goved finger, and placed said finger into his mouth. He then waddled around to the passenger side of his, jumped into the seat and drove into the faltering twilight of another decrepit day.
Local celebrity actor DJ Qualls saw this...
by gridbug
Jan 16th, 2008
04:01:56 PM
...and said it didn't deter him from trying out for the role of Gollum in the upcoming LORD OF THE RINGS ON ICE extravaganza.
A Local Garbage Collector From Baltimore, MD Saw This... REDUX
by LaserPants
Jan 16th, 2008
04:02:44 PM
He said something unintelligible, took a copious swig of Mad Dog 20/20 from his spittle covered flask, and threw a giant hefty bag into the back of his truck. As the bag smacked against the cold metal, something ruptured and he was splattered with some kind of rancid mayonaise. In response to this rather gross turn of events he grunted, wiped the goo off of his overalls with his gloved finger, and placed said finger into his mouth. He then waddled around to the passenger side of his truck, jumped into the seat and drove into the faltering twilight of another decrepit day...
Some Drunk Teenager From Anywhere USA Saw This...
by LaserPants
Jan 16th, 2008
04:05:53 PM
And he was all "'Whassssup!' ha ha!" Then he was all like "Ya know, like whatever, I'm gonna party all night long and shit". And, and, and then he was all like, "Oh shit, bro, I'm gonna be sick" and he threw up all over himself. When he got home his mom like totally grounded him for a month. Fuckin' sucks man.
A Local Priest Saw This And Said...
by LaserPants
Jan 16th, 2008
04:08:59 PM
"I don't know about CLOVERFIELD, but the line for that new kids movie with the talking animals was packed with all kinds of young, hairless, hotties. I should go to the movies more often! PRAISE JESUS!!! WOOO HOOOO!!!" Then he started praying really hard. And I mean REALLY hard.
Kickass Review Wyrm
by CasperVonSidecar
Jan 16th, 2008
04:12:10 PM
Once again, you do not disappoint. You have sold me on it. Nice work
A review for men with vaggies...
by genro
Jan 16th, 2008
04:18:07 PM
BringingSexyBack... in ref to 3 1/2 minutes of the beastie
by v1
Jan 16th, 2008
04:18:37 PM
I would certainly not let that be the reason you do not see Cloverfield. As the movie progresses there is a discover process, in which you get small glimpses, ever increasing until the more substantial final pay off. Alien would not have been very suspenseful if you saw the xenomorph from the beginning of the movie. Jaws wouldn’t have been very suspenseful if you saw Bruce right off the bat either. As you watch the movie you are learning about the monster along with the characters. I felt it made the movie very engaging. I found myself asking, “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!” at the same time as the characters.

I really feel the decision to slowly reveal more and more of the Monster was a great call. Put yourself in that situation, if you were in NYC and it was attacked by a Monster, how much would you have seen? It obviously depends on how things play out, but it’s not like a small town got attacked by a towering monster, and everyone can see it clearly. It’s moving in and around the city.

I guess I’m rambling on and trying to say this, the trailer went out of it’s way to reveal way less of the monster. The movie gives you much more, and you don’t have to wait to the end to get it. You don’t get a full clear extended shot of it until the end, but you do get more and more glimpses of it so that you know basically what it looks like, and trust me, it is one ugly mo fo.

lmao
by slkboxrman
Jan 16th, 2008
05:18:37 PM
i cant help laughing at how some dont know what "inverted" nipples are....pre pubescents ? or just never had em ? look up inverted in the dictionary.....wait ill save u the work....its one or both nipples essentially being inside out, pointng in , instead of out...but the cool thing is, when u suck on em, they pop out, like the timer on a turkey in the oven...a girl i was dating only had one but it was just fun to get it to pop out...ahhhh the memories
laserpants
by slkboxrman
Jan 16th, 2008
05:23:38 PM
ur obvioulsy in love with seeing ur own words on the screen, however the rest of us are not... if ur that in need of self attention....write in a diary like the girl u seem to be....wait i got one for ya A MAN IN NY SAW LASER PANTS POSTING NONSENSE OVER AND OVER...and he said "get a fucking life, loser" if u need attention that much just go ask ur daddy to beat u with his shoe again
Here's someone getting arrested for piarating it!!
by Vamp-AICNchat
Jan 16th, 2008
05:24:12 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =2i1Mdhuj4uk
bringingsexyback
by slkboxrman
Jan 16th, 2008
05:29:22 PM
are u nuts ? gonna base ur opinion on what a bunch of whiny, no sense, pampered, got no life, live in their parents basement, post on the internet all day, unrecognized masters of dialogue and special effects, self absorbed losers, say ? id sooner trust myself, at least i go to movies to enjoy them....u should go for yourself, be a man, lay out the $10 bucks and be dissapointed if u have to be.. or just watch it free online like most of these limp dick losers will do anyways and say they went with a bunch of their non existent friends....prob be sittin on their inflatable bed with their inflatable sex doll they named candy.... lol
VAMP
by slkboxrman
Jan 16th, 2008
05:32:00 PM
actually thats the perfect video for most of the losers on here.... "SHUT UP AND SLEEP WITH ME" lmao
Apparently It Entertained You Enough To Comment, slkboxman
by LaserPants
Jan 16th, 2008
05:34:59 PM
PWNED!
"Madness coalesced from the nightmares of children..."
by GreatWhiteNoise
Jan 16th, 2008
05:36:35 PM
Only three weeks into 2008, and already we have our early entry-to-beat for AICN Quote of the Year. Bravo!! Can't wait. EXCEPT....
NO MIDNIGHT SHOWS IN VANCOUVER!!! Boooooooo
by GreatWhiteNoise
Jan 16th, 2008
05:37:52 PM
A serious Colbert Wag of the Finger to the Cineplex powers-that-be on that call. Shame!!
ughh 9/11
by slkboxrman
Jan 16th, 2008
05:39:57 PM
i was up close and personal with 9/11 as well...i live in nyc....yes it was horrible, yes it was scary...do i get upset when a movie or tv show touches upon it or maybe has a scene reminiscent ? no do ya flinch when a plane flies low ? a little...each year it fades, and it fades faster when i realize how much b/s we been fed about the whole thing and who was behind it and why and the more i feel its like a movie with a whole bunch of plot holes, big gaping ones that only a blind brainless loser would ignore..but just like the JFK assasination and other stuff like that we may never know....but bush leaving office this year is a good thing for all people of the earth.....go hillary
laserpants
by slkboxrman
Jan 16th, 2008
05:43:10 PM
actually not, if i start counting how many posts a person makes and i start running out of fingers and toes to count them on its pretty lame....but be glad in the knowledge that its not just u, theyre everywhere !!! lol
V1, SLKBXRMAN
by BringingSexyBack
Jan 16th, 2008
05:48:25 PM
V1: If a big monster was attacking NYC I'd get on the ferry and watch the mayhem from Staten Island. No one goes to Staten Island, not even Mancrablizards.

Slkboxrman: I am totally in tune with your post re: 9/11. Every word of it.

Hyperbole
by zooch
Jan 16th, 2008
05:52:36 PM
As good as Godzilla, Aliens, Dawn of the Dead, Jaws, Matrix and Blade Runner? Doubtful.
Holy Shit, slkboxrman, You Only Have 8 Fingers And Toes!
by LaserPants
Jan 16th, 2008
05:55:13 PM
Dude, I'm sorry man. Were you in an accident or something?

Btw, I lived in NYC when 9/11 happened too. I've since moved away, but that initial trailer brought those feelings back too. But it doesn't upset me, it excites me. I'm weird that way I suppose. That was a seriously fucked up emotional day; and I think a weird, sick part of me enjoyed how fucked up and depressing and terrifying it was. But then again, I didn't lose anybody on that day, so it didn't quite effect me as much as others may have been effected.
lol laserpants
by slkboxrman
Jan 16th, 2008
06:04:49 PM
wow i didnt really count how many times u posted , but that was funny.... i think in some way it was like being extremely high on 9/11, and for me the whole year following, almost lost my job, because i work for a corporate car service and a good chunk of our work came from lower manhattan..and seein smoke on the horizon for god knows how long dont help.... but as for excitement, im not sure if its just 9/11 but i tend to like monster and disaster films anyways...was just surreal actually being in a disaster movie, ya know?
Why is everyone finding it so hard to describe?
by zooch
Jan 16th, 2008
06:09:32 PM
Just say, "It looks kinda like blank mixed with blank with big blanks" and so on and so forth. It's not that hard people!
Shit guys,I just saw 9/11 on TV(germany)and it
by travis-dane
Jan 16th, 2008
06:12:24 PM
got me like somebody cut my balls off!Cant imagine how you have felt about it!Nice to see you are getting over it(not forgetting,but going on).
bringinsexyback
by slkboxrman
Jan 16th, 2008
06:12:33 PM
yea i think the same thing about staten island as well.....its like alot of the people that live their think theyre special or something..... its more like wanna be suburb white trash sewer dwellers and alot of the people that live their arent even white, but i bet they wish they were ......very snobby, uptight , and stuck up...... sound about right?
travis
by slkboxrman
Jan 16th, 2008
06:17:08 PM
yea it was bad, just imagine seein and smelling smoke for like a week or 2 and not knowin wtf ur smellin...messed up.....i dont know if bringingsexyback agrees, but lots of us NYers wanted the towers rebuilt the exact way they were...hell they rebuilt the damn pentagon exactly....but its more profitable to build something new and shiny than rebuild a nyc landmark....hate to see what theyd replace the statue of liberty with if need be ......paris hilton holding a dildo in the air ??? im scared
I hope I never have to smell that!Even after...
by travis-dane
Jan 16th, 2008
06:27:56 PM
all those years it makes my gut go weak when I think about what I saw that day!SHIT.
It's not so much me as it is Massawyrm-
by foreignerbelt
Jan 16th, 2008
06:49:06 PM
-yeah, he's good.
Why are people with imagination being attacked?
by Damien Chowder
Jan 16th, 2008
08:12:39 PM
The trailers and marketing campaign were made to create speculation and since that is the case do critics not have the right to imagine something that is actually better than what JJ thought up? If we critics are being being blamed for being overimaginative... Then people that didn't expect anything simply have no imagination.
What the F you got against INVERTED NiPs???
by Cinemajerk
Jan 16th, 2008
08:31:46 PM
A big shout out to all the gals with inverted nips out there. We love ya! :-)
finally a good pic of it!
by ironic_name
Jan 16th, 2008
08:58:23 PM
http://tinyurl.com/2c2nwc
finally a good pic of it!=man in dick suit
by tme2nsb
Jan 16th, 2008
09:05:09 PM
funny
MNG
by 'Cholera's Ghost
Jan 16th, 2008
09:07:00 PM
You just got served;-)
Okay, okay
by 'Cholera's Ghost
Jan 16th, 2008
09:08:40 PM
So it's no Cthulu dance. But we only got two days, lions need to represent.
Sheeet Negro....
by Dr Gregory House
Jan 16th, 2008
09:13:44 PM
Lovecraftian was all you had to say.
yeah
by ragingdrunklove
Jan 16th, 2008
09:53:15 PM
its a monster movie. i saw it. the monster is cuddly looking and covered in CGI sheen just like every other monster movie. it's not lovecraftian. i can easily describe it, and in fact i have. it looks like a giant alligator with the body of a gorilla and long spider arms. anyways, its a cool flick, but its soooo not that great.
I can't beleive I did a rickroll, especially as i found..
by ironic_name
Jan 16th, 2008
10:19:13 PM
..this, not a "dickroll" and not a picture, but if you have seen the movie you will know about "Operation 'Hammer Down'" and by searching hammerdown and cloverfield, to see sequel talk,

I found the "rumor control" post from aicn!

plant or coincidence?

http://tinyurl.com/3c7s2v

I can't believe i misspelled believe
by ironic_name
Jan 16th, 2008
10:25:16 PM
BringingSexyBack
by messi
Jan 16th, 2008
10:37:21 PM
cmon man you know the score in transformers was good, even you said so. anyone who can write the unwritten justice league theme gets my respect. but yeah cloverfield is awesome, i mean it's not too expensive to go watch and spend 90 minutes there. and hey it's fun, remember watching movies because it's something you enjoy doing?
people with imagination
by slkboxrman
Jan 16th, 2008
11:55:16 PM
get attacked because the average jo-schmo sitting behind his keyboard in his basement, eating cheesey poofs and watching 30second porn clips, while his parents support him, wash his clothes, make his meals and pay his bills, is an expert on how to market a movie, write a script, create CG monsters and review a movie....go figure....we should all be so talented , dont ya think ?
so...I have to ask...
by redkamel
Jan 17th, 2008
12:32:49 AM
...WAS IT AWESOME!!??!
Hm.
by The-Duke-of-New-York
Jan 17th, 2008
12:50:52 AM
http://tinyurl.com/3c7s2v It's like, the monster. Supposedly cell-cammed from a New Zealander. Or have I been TRICKED?
Oh, shit.
by The-Duke-of-New-York
Jan 17th, 2008
12:51:11 AM
Oh, shit.
by The-Duke-of-New-York
Jan 17th, 2008
12:51:28 AM
Double post. Wrong link, too. http://i13.tinypic.com/6wpalx5 .jpg is what you want.
Told ya it's VOLTRON!!!
by TheGhostWhoLurks
Jan 17th, 2008
12:59:36 AM
It's not one lion, it's FIVE!!!
here's my review written 2 minutes after
by messi
Jan 17th, 2008
02:12:50 AM
I opened my front door when I got back from the screening. it's a review by a talkbacker.

I opened my front door after the screening. guess aicn won't be using it. but it's a talkbacker review.

The whole thing is filmed from a video camera, but it's not bad, it's not a bad thing. I thought even though the trailer showed the potential in the idea of a monster movie filmed from a camcorder to make it seem realistic, that after a while it would would hurt your eyes because of crazy camera work. But not so. There is crazy camera work at places but for the most part it's steady and just when the action beats start where they are running or something crazy is happening does it go crazy and yes it does feel realistic. In fact very realistic.

This is a big movie by the way, the scale. I mean most big scale movies have certain set pieces that are choreographed to show certain destruction etc but this monster(which isn't humanoid by the way) fucks up ALL of Manhattan, there is no limit to what they intend the monster to do. Manhattan is up for grabs.

The start of the movie has it establishing the main players including that guy Rob(from the trailer) and this girl who he has a romantic connection with then people at the party. It's handled really well and you know who these people are when