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First Five Minutes of TEETH for you to sink yours into!

This was not a good film by AnimalStructure	Jan 14th, 2008 04:11:13 PM
Saw it at Sundance. Embarrassing.
first by Scorpio1031	Jan 14th, 2008 04:11:23 PM
I'm not a virgin anymore hahaha
damn not first by Scorpio1031	Jan 14th, 2008 04:11:52 PM

First............ by Legend67	Jan 14th, 2008 04:12:09 PM
or so I thought. Damn, you guys are quick. Shit.
All sad cunts by LordPorkington	Jan 14th, 2008 04:22:26 PM
Except for the person who was ironically 'first' and made a genuine contribution, and the person right before me. The rest? Cunts.
Why is AICN pushing this piece of shit? by LargoJr	Jan 14th, 2008 04:30:41 PM
I don't get it... when did AICN become Access Hollycrap?
The acting of the Girl giving the speech is really.. by travis-dane	Jan 14th, 2008 04:36:19 PM
BAD!oh my god!And the opening music is funny.And the DP`s name is WOLFGANG!Should be FUN!(in a bad-good way)
Why AICN is pushing this shit by zacdilone	Jan 14th, 2008 04:52:06 PM
Because this film think of itself as "edgy," and it's also about a vagina, meaning the powers that be get a chance to do their two favorite things: 1) come off as true "film" people, and 2) talk about pussy.
I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH A VAGINA DENTATA by Pound Sand	Jan 14th, 2008 04:52:32 PM
And believe me, Kurt Russell was definitely not laughing.
so this is really a movie about.. by liljuniorbrown	Jan 14th, 2008 04:57:24 PM
A chick with teeth in her crotch? Wow, I am truly shocked and amazed. I guess next we'l have to sit through Eli Roth's Hook's, in which a guy has hooks coming out of his dick which he use to torture women with. I'm sure he's already had an idea (His Thanksgiving trailer did have a cheerleader getting a knife up her pussy) and i'm positive it would be championed by this site. What the fuck man? I mean seriously, a movie about a bitch with teeth in her twat, really? The Oscars have a new contender this year.
This years Little Miss Pussy Teeth by liljuniorbrown	Jan 14th, 2008 04:57:56 PM
It had to be said
Women haters by AnimalStructure	Jan 14th, 2008 04:59:04 PM
Where's Mori to denounce this film as misogynistic women hating?
Indiana Jones and the Fanged Poon by liljuniorbrown	Jan 14th, 2008 05:00:12 PM
George Lucas you've been surpassed.
I saw it at Sitges Film Festival by Bodenland Unbound	Jan 14th, 2008 05:09:41 PM
and is a fun (and singular) teen comedy. Oh, and it has some genital amputations, too! :-P
John Bobbit swears by Crest Vagina Paste by MasterShake	Jan 14th, 2008 05:16:15 PM
Keeps your cock glistening so you can find it later.
Meh? by orryn	Jan 14th, 2008 05:20:57 PM
Any real dude in that speech crowd would have said "hell ya" when she asked if they wanted to pork some slut.
this is the one where she has teeth by frankenfickle	Jan 14th, 2008 05:21:26 PM
in her hoo-haa. why in the name of cute little baby jesus would i watch this?
Can Someone Knock That Kid's Tooth Out? by Read and Shut Up	Jan 14th, 2008 05:36:08 PM
Friggin' uni-tooth punk kid. "C'mon, show your terrible actor dad the finger you use to stroke your 'roid." Wow, now THOSE were some exciting credits.
liljuniorbrown by jfp2007	Jan 14th, 2008 06:32:33 PM
Shut yer prude bitch mouth.
by themidnighter23	Jan 14th, 2008 07:40:12 PM
why didnt anyone tell me not to click play? thanks for wasting my time jackoffs
i was watching... Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends last night by seekshelter	Jan 14th, 2008 08:14:45 PM
and they showed the trailer for this during one of the commercial breaks..haha clearly a mistake was made.
"fanged poon"'s new album is great. by ironic_name	Jan 14th, 2008 08:25:00 PM

My thoughts in near order by Neosamurai85	Jan 14th, 2008 08:49:59 PM
1. (start of video) "THUUUUH SIIIIMMMMPSONS!" 2. It's been a long time since I saw a monster's zipper. 3. Have the sexual undertones of firsters' comments ever been so funny. How quick you guys are indeed. 4. Holy crap! After all this time that I've mostly been away, liljuniorbrown is STILL bitching about Roth. Dude, at this point the best thing to do is ignore the guy if you hate his movies. He lives off controversy and as much as I'd like to see him make a good horror film, he's not living up to his hype. 5. Heh... whip it... whip it good. 6. I would have loved to seen a Rabid era Cronenberg tackle this subject. Instead, it looks like a follow up to Corn. Ah, Corn... what wonders wait on the straight-to-DVD-shelf! Peace.
Sounds like Pillow Pants by Calihoma	Jan 14th, 2008 09:24:35 PM
from Clerks 2. If gap-teeth is the villain, then who is the hero?
What do you get when you turn a blonde upsidedown? by otm shank	Jan 14th, 2008 09:53:18 PM
A brunette with bad breath. And acting.
Coming soon - Dentures by skywalkerfamily	Jan 14th, 2008 10:17:16 PM
the sequel.
Electric Dreams by Chanoc	Jan 14th, 2008 10:22:15 PM
Hey, the boys father is the computer guy from the 1984 ultra cheese computer movie Electric Dreams. I loved it!
touch-a touch-a by Madame_Silky	Jan 14th, 2008 11:52:18 PM
Bet that little boy grew up to be gay...
electric dreams.... classic by irrelevntelefant	Jan 15th, 2008 12:04:56 AM

WHAT NEXT, SHIA AS GUY WITH ANAL DENTATA? by BringingSexyBack	Jan 15th, 2008 12:19:11 AM
This movie will make more guys squirm than Brokeback Mountain.
Loved the Trailer by Aquatarkusman	Jan 15th, 2008 12:45:27 AM
Rosemary's Baby... The Exorcist... The Shining... The Blair Witch Project... TEETH! Seems like a perfectly logical progression, doesn't it? (where are the fucking sarcasm tags?)
I dated a girl with teeth in her minge once... by DimensionsPlural	Jan 15th, 2008 02:07:30 AM
...it bit.
Not if you paid me by 5 by 5	Jan 15th, 2008 02:11:45 AM
would I see this stupid idea for a movie.
FIRST FIVE MINUTES OF ME TAKING A SHIT... by leobloom	Jan 15th, 2008 02:18:01 AM
Shouldn't have eaten all that fiber.
Nice Danny Elfman rip-off by Musicballs	Jan 15th, 2008 02:31:30 AM

First, twat, was it? by noncents	Jan 15th, 2008 02:53:49 AM
Can the children stop the infantile habit of commenting on commenting as well as the premature primary grade effort to post the irrelevant first. -rhetorical so don't get a boner, nebulous newbsters. Oh, shiggas, I'm an hypocritical biznitch myself, so STOP IT!
Madame_Silky by Bodenland Unbound	Jan 15th, 2008 03:26:38 AM
That little boy grew up to be the assf**ker villain of this movie lol
people who say 'meh'.. by blackshuck	Jan 15th, 2008 06:22:46 AM
..need to stop now.
Why...did you LIE...to ME?!?!?!?!? by Darth Macchio	Jan 15th, 2008 10:31:46 AM
MOLES! MOLES! MOLES! MOLES! MOLES!!!! Bud Cort is a genius!!!
jfp2007, are you fucking kidding? by liljuniorbrown	Jan 15th, 2008 10:48:03 AM
A prude? Why cause I think a movie like this is scrapping the barrell of good idea's? Well that's me and the rest of the talkbackers so far. Have fun on opening night,you'll have the place to yourself.
teeth on a vagina=flames on optimus by BigTexas42	Jan 15th, 2008 10:55:54 AM
am i right or am i right? i'm right, right? right.
Neosamurai85, maybe your right sir by liljuniorbrown	Jan 15th, 2008 10:58:50 AM
The last post i mentioned him before this was months ago at best, but still in all I have let this sites once championing of a waste of space get the best of me.To clear up my above posts since fuckwads like jfp2007 might be confused, My opinion was that this movie just sounds retarted on all levels and looks to be almost unwatchable. The idea is a funny one, just looks to be poorly executed. So there you go.
BREAKING NEWS: Teen Boys release shot-for-shot remake of Teeth by ArcadianDS	Jan 15th, 2008 11:16:04 AM
What these stalwart teens lacked in big hollywood blockbuster money they made up for with passion, determination, and a little bit of luck. Over a span of two weekends, during which 8 additional sequels to Teeth were released Directly to Video and Comcast On-Demand services, these two teen boys accomplished what most can only dream of: a shot-for-shot tribute remake of the dark comedy movie "Teeth". According to the director of the movie, they're not going to sue these boys because their movie might actually be BETTER than the original. Also, they wanted to once again remind everyone that their movie wasn't a comedy. "It started out as just a goof for Youtube but when we were at Walgreens last October and saw a platic package of fake vamipire teeth in the toy aisle, we knew this was going to become something bigger." The boys were often discouraged by adults who felt that such an amibitious project might eventually interfere with normal teenage development. One of the mothers even expressed concerns that the only vagina his son had ever seen by his 23rd birthday was a paper mache prop fitted with plastic toy vampire teeth from Walgreens. "I mean, I love my son like any mother, but he didn't even make it VERTICAL. Who ever heard of a horizontal vagina?!" Despite having to omit certain action scenes due to real world limitations (they were too young to buy rubber penises at the local adult store), the movie was shown at a regional film expo in Austin Texas. "It was the surprise hit of Butt-Numb-A-Thon Forty-Seven, says Mrs Knowles who was awarded ownership of the event and its companion website after a drawn out divorce over 'marital differences'. "It completely overshadowed our other mainstream showings of Hostel XVII, Shaun of the Diary of the Dead, and four other films by the surviving members of Broken Lizard. It even had more of a crowd reaction than Cloverfield: The Animated Muppet Musical Adventure. Because they didn't pay us to talk about their tribute project, we naturally didn't hype the bejeesus out of it on AICN.com - so we're kinda puzzled that it did so well. I mean, we REALLY pumped the hell out of Hostel XVII and i dont think anyone even stayed to watch it. Rumors are circulating that the boy's next project will be a shot for shot remake of Harry' Knowles angioplasty surgery video. "We're too young to buy a real heart, but thats okay - Mr. Knowles didn't have one either."
please forgive the typos by ArcadianDS	Jan 15th, 2008 11:17:36 AM
there are some funky typos. it wasn't prepared in advance - something I like to call 'stream-of-comedy' maybe i shoulda filmed it for youtube. peace out and love you harry.
let me guess. by mthrndr	Jan 15th, 2008 11:47:55 AM
a movie about a vag with teeth, which, due to censoring, we'll never actually see. Twat did you say? Count me out.
First 5 Minutes Online . . . by kevinwillis.net	Jan 15th, 2008 12:21:42 PM
Four of which is chewing the fat and the opening credits. The rest of which is: "Huh? This is supposed to make me want to see this thing?"
CLOVERFIELD MONSTER REVEALED! by LittleDudes	Jan 15th, 2008 02:08:46 PM
TAKE A LOOK HERE http://tinyurl.com/ytg8t7 AND http://tinyurl.com/2dkn9x HERE
Do they play the "Jaws" music everytime by Borgnine JR	Jan 15th, 2008 02:30:57 PM
she takes her panties off? If they do, is there an approximation of "Quint"?
I'm sorry - but this looks very dumb by CaptainGilgore	Jan 15th, 2008 03:41:56 PM
I don't care if it's quirky and different from the mainstream. It's just a weird dumb idea. Because it was so out there I decided to watch the first five minutes. They did nothing to dispel my opinion. I won't even be renting this (and I rent everything).
Saw this one... by SkinJob69	Jan 15th, 2008 03:58:12 PM
and sat next to Owen Glieberman of EW. At least 3 penises were chomped off in the film (one even fed to the owner's pit bull). Many scenes caused the audience members (at least the males) to cover their groins reflexively Pretty fucked up. But at the end I looked over at Owen and he was smiling, so I guess it was o.k. (true story, BTW)
Another Blair Witch/ Cloverfield/ DotD type film... by SkinJob69	Jan 15th, 2008 04:17:38 PM
Except this one is supposedly pretty damn scary. Called "Paranormal Activity". Got tickets to see this at Slamdance on the 18th. Trailer's on youtube: http://tinyurl.com/289akz
Some of you guys are just weird. by raw_bean	Jan 15th, 2008 04:31:12 PM
This looks and sounds hilarious and cool. I'm amazed at how many of you guys are so against this, I would've thought it'd be just the kind of thing AICNers would latch onto. Then again, maybe a vagina dentata themed teen sex/horror film about the terrifying unknown between a woman's legs hits a bit too close to home for some of you. :^D
raw_bean by ArcadianDS	Jan 15th, 2008 04:55:01 PM
or maybe its just dumb.
This is going to be tough.... by PornKing	Jan 15th, 2008 05:06:30 PM
to find a co-star willing to have his dick bitten off. I mean, the money-shot will be totally ruined.
You are most definitely the PornKing. by SkinJob69	Jan 15th, 2008 05:15:16 PM

or maybe raw_bean by 5 by 5	Jan 15th, 2008 11:04:21 PM
for the first time in the history of the universe somebody has a different opinion about something than you do... I know hard to wrap your brain around right?
can't be any worse than "2 girls, 1 cup", right? by Zardoz	Jan 16th, 2008 12:37:33 AM
And Vagina Dentata: what small boys and immature men imagine are in a woman's "special place"...
FIRST! by Stupendous Man	Jan 16th, 2008 04:29:05 AM
ok maybe im a few hours late :)
Does this even SOUND like a good idea? by m_prevette	Jan 16th, 2008 07:29:58 AM
Nope. Sounds like some garbage some deranged teen might dream up as being "cool". And of course...Harry...who laps up all shit...laps this up too.
Winner Of The Palm De Or Prize at 'The Sigmund Freud Film Festi by skoobyx	Jan 16th, 2008 05:37:46 PM
Although personally I preferred 'Attack of the Fifty Foot Cigar'
You all talk like the writer of this thing just... by Skyway Moaters	Jan 26th, 2008 04:12:25 PM
... pulled the idea of a snizz with teeth out of his ass. When in fact the idea comes from the myth of "Vagina Dentata" that exists in almost every mythological tradition you can name. It's one of the old old stories that seem to cross all cultural and historical lines; kind of like the myth of "the virgin that gives birth to the hero". Vagina Dentata is the polar opposite of misogynistic.
It's been done by horato	Jan 27th, 2008 02:42:24 PM
THEY BITE, one of the quintessential cult films of the 80 had an unforgettable vagina dentata scene. I smell a rip-off.

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