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New Conan?
by Longfellow X
Jan 11th, 2008
04:08:49 AM
Who in the world will be the new Conan? My vote is for Jaime Bell.
Arnie-itus
by Thall_Joben
Jan 11th, 2008
04:15:00 AM
Hope they stay away from getting a guy that looks like the govenor. Didn't Conan have black hair and blue eyes in the books? It would be nice if they managed to get some of that pulp feel back, hidden kingdoms, trapped monsters etc.
Written by the guys behind SAHARA...ugh!
by Messiahman
Jan 11th, 2008
04:23:59 AM
Yikes, these two writers have a pretty abysmal track record -- not only did they pen the horrid SAHARA, they're also the guys behind the script for A SOUND OF THUNDER. This is...not promising.
Other notable motion pictures from this company
by Vern
Jan 11th, 2008
04:28:28 AM
Day of the Dead remake, Mad Money, Unstoppable, Alien Hunter, Replicant. This is not exactly a company that has ever made a great movie, and most of their stuff is straight to video. They've done three Seagal DTVs (including Mercenary For Justice, one of his weaker ones), some Van Dammes, some Dolph Lundgren, some Wesley Snipes. Even some of their movies intended for theatrical release end up getting shelved and eventually dumped to video (Edison Force, Prozac Nation, Blonde Ambition) or are infamous fiascos (The Wicker Man, The Black Dahlia).

Still gonna see Rambo though. And one of these days I'm gonna rent Undisputed II. But I get nervous every time I see that logo on a big screen. It's just not natural.

Great News, Just as long as they're faithful to Howard's vision
by KillaKane
Jan 11th, 2008
04:29:21 AM
The Script and Casting of Conan is critical, but plowing that kind of money into the project suggests the producers are treating this seriously. They should hire Ron Cobb and Bill Stout to do the conceptual stuff again, Milius's Conan still holds up visually because of it's superb art direction. Would love to hear Poledouris themes worked into the score too, I'd get an A-list composer like Powell, Newton Howard or Silvestri to score. And of course a Mako sound a like to narrate the "Time of High Adventuuuuure!" ;-)
Could be amazing-
by sonnyfern
Jan 11th, 2008
04:31:46 AM
-IF they don't make it PG-13 and stick to the violent hard-core nature of the stories. I've always thought Hour Of The Dragon would make a marvelous adaption to the screen. It's got HUGE wars, Conan trying to reclaim his crown, monsters and magic...it'd be downright EPIC. I hope they treat this with the respect it deserves...a hundred million dollar budget isn't a bad place to start.
Bollox!
by judge dredds fresh undies
Jan 11th, 2008
04:43:42 AM
Give me Milius' King Conan. This film will be shit no doubt about it.
I smell PG-13 Crap.
by Redfive!
Jan 11th, 2008
04:51:09 AM
$100 mill needs to fill seats and a Hard R Rated bad ass Conan will limit that ..Why do I smell The Destroyer?
Let me get this straight
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
Jan 11th, 2008
05:07:25 AM
no Arnie, no Milius. Written by the guys who scripted Sahara and made by a company who brought us the Wicker Man remake. You can almost here the looney sound effect for when Conan slips in camel shit.
this is just the worst news of this century
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
Jan 11th, 2008
05:12:23 AM
No one but Arnie is Conan, Its everything about him in the role, from his amazing physique, to the fact that its the only other role other than Terminator that suits his accent. I mean his dialect is exactly how I want my Barbarian, brutal and raw. The first Conan is a perfect, perfect film.
My top Fantasy films(for no apparent reason)
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
Jan 11th, 2008
05:14:53 AM
1. Excalibur 2. Conan the Barbarian 3. LadyHawke. They better not screw with the other two.
by the way King Arthur doesn't count
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
Jan 11th, 2008
05:15:39 AM
its galaxies away from Excalibur.
No Faith
by Bald Evil
Jan 11th, 2008
05:16:34 AM
I have no faith that anyone in Hollywood is willing to make a Conan film that does justice to the original stories. There are plenty of Howard's original stories that would make great films without tacking on a love interest or comedic sidekick, but the chances of avoiding one or both of those cliches is near zero. I just hope it doesn't suck so bad that it kills Conan at the box office for another 25 years.
red nails in 2008, solomon kane 2009
by palewook
Jan 11th, 2008
05:40:06 AM
looking forward to red nails in 2008 and solomon kane in 2009. both howard properties should be better than new line's 100 million conan written by 2 guys that couldn't handle a lifetime movie of the week..
Brian Tyler should score this
by Musicballs
Jan 11th, 2008
05:41:54 AM
Hope they one day get KING CONAN made
by ABking
Jan 11th, 2008
06:07:26 AM
Hope if this new CONAN is a box-office flop, Lionsgate and Avi Lerner signs a deal with the WB, Milius and Schwarzenegger to make KING CONAN. The good news is that Arnie can be 68 years old and still play OLD Conan!
Vern
by Munro Kelly
Jan 11th, 2008
06:13:05 AM
I'm a big fan of your articles and I like many of the same movies you do. Trust me on this. Rent "Undisputed II" with the quickness. You will not be disapointed.
Vern II
by Munro Kelly
Jan 11th, 2008
06:17:28 AM
Oh yeah, after you see it I, and I'm sure others, cant wait to read what you thought about it.
Arnie as Conan...
by R H S C
Jan 11th, 2008
06:17:33 AM
...is not the Conan that Robert E. Howard created. Read some of the original stories, or either of the Marvel and Dark Horse comic series. "Conan the Barbarian" is a great movie, but not a true, faithful adaptation of Howard's work.
I just can't picture anyone else as Conan
by Han Cholo
Jan 11th, 2008
06:23:45 AM
Not even when I look at the comics. The way they draw him like a cro-magnon looking dude, it just doesn't work for me. Remember when Ralph Moeller was playing him on the short lived TV show? He was totally channeling Schwarzenegger. Then I heard they were trying to cast Triple H from WWE. Sorry, that dude is as white bread as they come and looks nothing like Arnold. Looks more like a hawk. I just don't see any Conan movie done without Arnold as having any chance of success.
R H S C
by palewook
Jan 11th, 2008
06:26:13 AM
you speak the truth. dino's bastardized version is serviceable at best.

but the average person in here won't know the difference between camp, carter, howard, or the dino movie.

When is the RED NAIL'S cartoon coming out?
by HarryBlackPotter
Jan 11th, 2008
06:29:00 AM
I've seen the website and the animation looks pretty decent, but they're only stills. Ron Pearlman is doing Conan's voice which is cool & Mark Hamill is playing an evil overlord / zombie thing. I just wonder if it'll be a DVD only release? Back to the movie...Casting Conan is THE most important thing, but I'm not sure who I'd go for. I don't think I want to see a WWE or bodybuilder in the role. I want to see an actor, a quality actor, maybe...Gerard Butler - sure, he's not as big as Arnie, but he could beef up a bit more, and he was tremendous in 300!
Don't get your hopes up kids.
by rbatty024
Jan 11th, 2008
06:35:10 AM
As already mentioned, this is Lion's Gate after all, a studio more concerned with money than quality, and unaware that they can actually converge if given the right care.
RHSC & palewook
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
Jan 11th, 2008
06:38:08 AM
actually I am quite the Howard fan, I understand how different Milius' was from the source, but ya know what, I don't fuckin care. No other Conan movie made will match the pure filmmaking that is Conan the Barbarian. After I saw that flick I can only imagine Arnie in the role. Milius created a fantasy steeped in realism and mythos.
No, not Gerard Butler
by IAmMrMonkey!
Jan 11th, 2008
06:41:11 AM
I can't see him as a barbarian and i don't think he has enough presence. Not that i have a better suggestion!
WHO cares who has the rights
by Bedlamite
Jan 11th, 2008
06:54:47 AM
Conan is in the public domain. So, go out, read the damn stories, and make some damn movies. FORGET the first two movies, and make an actual CONAN movie.
Flash Gordon/Conan
by DeckardBladeRunner
Jan 11th, 2008
07:14:17 AM
Lets just hope that we dont get another "re-imagining" of something classic like the abortion known as "faux gordon" on the SCI FI Network. Conan is now an angry teen with a talking animal, and doesn't like to fight. The villains are misunderstood and wear old outfits from Xena. Hopeful on this if they actually adapt an REH Story, Scared if they decide to try to "fix" what isnt broken...
Deckard...
by just pillow talk
Jan 11th, 2008
07:22:43 AM
There's only one who talks to animals...and his name is....Beastmaster!

I've never read the books, but I've heard enough people on this site say that it's completely different from the Conan we got on screen. I think no matter which way they end up going (following books or follow established movie canon), it'll probably miss the target. I would like to be wrong on this, but who will they get to play Conan? I realize they made Arnie a dumbass who didn't actively fight for his freedom, and that's not who Conan was, but like he did have presence. Who would be perfect to play that role?

Make of it what you will...
by DocPazuzu
Jan 11th, 2008
07:23:08 AM
...but the Swedish guy whose company owns the rights to Howard's properties has been interviewed in at least two Swedish publications over the last year or so and spoken about the project in what I would call encouraging terms.

He said they're aiming for a trilogy of films with Conan starting out as a thief and ending up as king of Aquilonia in the third film. Also, he insisted that they were going with an unknown in the title role, since they basically want the guy to BE Conan, not some other guy with celebrity baggage playing Conan. Finally, and most importantly, he emphasized that they wanted to make a movie true to Howard's vision.

I should add that I love Milius's film, but Howard's Conan it ain't. The lumbering fathead Arnie plays is NOTHING like Howard's character. If you changed the names and places in Milius's film, there is virtually nothing which indicates it's a Conan film.

Lionsgate, where action stars go to die....
by jae683
Jan 11th, 2008
07:23:16 AM
NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Jan 11th, 2008
07:28:12 AM
Yes, Excalibur was awesome. Sword, sorcery, blood, guts, and a wonderful script with a great cast of actors. At the time most were unknown: Patrick Stewart, Gabriel Byrne, Liam Neeson, and none of us geeks knew who Helen Mirren was at that point. I loved it how Percival goes from a nothing, but honorable wuss to one of Arthurs most loyal and trusted. King Arhur pales by comparison.
Howard's Conan...
by DocPazuzu
Jan 11th, 2008
07:29:55 AM
...is a black-haired, blue-eyed, savage, steel-thewed, lightning-quick, ferocious, cunning, stone-cold killer.

He may have a "barbarous accent", but he's also well-spoken, multi-lingual and highly intelligent if uncultured and uneducated.

All of these qualities are either born to him or acquired by his own strength and effort.

Arnie's Conan is a feeble-minded putz who, if he hadn't been freed, would have happily been a drooling gladiator slave for the rest of his life.

Howard's Conan would have reduced Arnie's version to a steaming, bloody, ribbonous pile of offal in about two seconds.

Excalibur
by Zozma
Jan 11th, 2008
07:38:40 AM
that movie was trippy as shit with superman's layer thrown in and that whole, "fuck me brother" thing going on. Oh, and I have no hope for this movie. It will be rambo, sans original actor, heart, and script.
a frustrated studio known for DTV...
by birdy birdman
Jan 11th, 2008
07:56:03 AM
might be the perfect fit for the re-imaginings of rambo and conan. there was an exploitative feel to the red band rambo trailer that i hadn't seen (authentically) produced in years
Um Zozma, if you are going to criticize a
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Jan 11th, 2008
07:57:43 AM
movie first I suggest you learn to spell. They didn't throw in Superman's seven-layer cake. Merlin was stuck in the pseudo-Fortress of Solitude or LAIR.
Or maybe you meant they threw in
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Jan 11th, 2008
07:59:07 AM
Lois Lane. Looking back though I could be wrong. I thought you meant trippy in a bad way, and maybe you did, but I guess you could have meant it in a good way.
WHAT'S BEST IN LIFE!?!?
by rev_skarekroe
Jan 11th, 2008
08:02:05 AM
A warm bed, a cup of cocoa, and a good book!
CROM LAUGHS AT YOUR FOUR WINDS!
by DoctorWho?
Jan 11th, 2008
08:06:35 AM
BY CROM I loves me some CONAN! Lets hope we get something faithful to the classic Howard stories!
the Milius/Wachowski King Conan would have been epic!
by Live.
Jan 11th, 2008
08:07:02 AM
I weep for what could have been. It was one of my most anticipated movies ever.
Vern's Right, Their Track Record Sucks
by cowboyone
Jan 11th, 2008
08:11:38 AM
Hope they don't blow it, it's a GREAT property. Sounds like they're willing to through some dough at it which is a good sign. I'd get the Rock ... but "ugly" him up with some scars and prosthetics like Mickey Rourke in Sin City.
Kull it up, ha ha ha
by kafka07
Jan 11th, 2008
08:13:13 AM
Kull it up, defense, Kull it up!
There will still be that audience for KING CONAN
by ABking
Jan 11th, 2008
08:13:25 AM
Even though the producers might ignore it; even though some of you might say Arnie and Milius' CONAN was not faithful, there will ALWAYS be that audience that wants to see KING CONAN starring an older Schwarzenegger and directed by John Milius. If there was a role fans want Arnie to finish, it was Conan. Just finish off the damm trilogy from the Arnie era. If there is what thing RAMBO & INDY 4 will prove, is that producers should keep open the option to buy the Milius script from the WB and make KING CONAN when Arnie is out of office in 2011.
If by "hope they dont Kull it up..."
by Phimseto
Jan 11th, 2008
08:18:02 AM
...you mean they are absolutely going to Kull it up, you're right. 100mil means it'll come in at PG-13 with meaningless footage cut that will be put back in for a dubiously lame "unrated special edition". Sadly, it's the death of Basil Poledouris that kills all my interest in anything Conan. "King Conan" not happening when it should have was a huge loss.
Right on DocP....
by Damned if I can login
Jan 11th, 2008
08:19:30 AM
Well said...and ya even said it with a little of the ol' Stan Lee delivery...! Good stuff.

I discovered the character in 1977, and Howard's Conan was repeatedly touted not only for his prowess as a warrior, but for his intelligence as well as his abilities as a linguist.

But it was also written that he was *highly* superstitious (and one could say tremendously frightened) in relation to all things supernatural.

It would be interesting to actually see the character Howard created, rather than the cheesy watered-down "this issue Conan faces the beast with the Platypus face and Skunk's ass" guy....

Milius did not invent king conan.
by palewook
Jan 11th, 2008
08:24:45 AM
howard, camp, and carter wrote numerous stories about king conan. howard's only conan novel, even occurs during his reign as king.

if you think milius and dino are there is concerning conan, go watched your dvd's. enjoy yourself some red sonja and conan the destroyer while you're at it.

if you like quality stick with the original works of ReH.

With all these re-launch and re-tellings of films today...
by ABking
Jan 11th, 2008
08:25:24 AM
There should still be an option for the KING CONAN film with Arnie and Milius to exist even if there is a new 100 million Conan film with a younger actor. HANNIBAL did it, BATMAN did it, so is SUPERMAN with JUSTICE LEAGUE. Why not make Arnie's Conan as a seperate entity to finish off what they started in 1982. Why not have KING CONAN out after this new younger Conan film is made???
ALl you Howard Conan fans who don't like Arnies' version
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
Jan 11th, 2008
08:27:39 AM
Get ready guys because in about two years its gonna look a helluva lot better than what these guys come up with.
also you guys, only the most pigheaded writers
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
Jan 11th, 2008
08:30:38 AM
refuse to change anything for the screen. Sure it would have been great to have an intelligent agile Conan but who the fuck would have played him?
Ahh who cares?
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
Jan 11th, 2008
08:32:10 AM
I have both Conan's in my life, Howards and Milius'. Suck it to those who only have one.
comics anyone?
by BodhiM4S
Jan 11th, 2008
08:34:59 AM
I hope they look at at the current incarnation of the Cary Nord comics that have been produced for the last few years. Nord perfectly captures the stoic hero. He gives him the right look which IS NOT! Arnold in any way, shape, or form.
Undesputed II was Better than the Original
by DarfurOnTheRocks
Jan 11th, 2008
08:42:20 AM
It is true...
Don't you know the Dewey Decimal System?!?
by Mattapooh
Jan 11th, 2008
08:46:35 AM
Barbarian was ridiculously fun, Destroyer and Red Sonya were cheesy crap, Kull looks like garbage (I've never had any interest in seeing it, sorry). I'd be stoked about another Milius flick because Milius is awesome, but that's about it.
bodes ill
by Darth Scourge
Jan 11th, 2008
08:50:29 AM
Howard's true vision of Conan has yet to be portrayed 100% accurately in any form, either movie or comic. However, sometimes they get closer than others. Milius's movie was a good, brooding interpretation, and some of the Marvel and Dark Horse comics have also been very good. But will this company now make a good Conan movie? NO FUCKING WAY. PREPARE FOR A TOTAL AND SHAMEFUL FUCKING ABOMINATION.
NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
by palewook
Jan 11th, 2008
08:55:19 AM
nobody is saying arnie sucks or milius is a hack.

if you have to pick between the original conan or the interpreted 80s version, it's not a difficult choice. provided you have read some of ReH's original stories.

and the day a studio, successfully brings a truer ReH adaption to the the screen, is the day, most audiences and critics will step back to take a moment. knowing they've experienced something that hasn't been on the screen before.

Perhaps the Riddick character is the closest screen interpretation of ReH's alpha warrior, more so than Arnold's Conan. And Riddick doesn't even compare to the ReH Conan. So far that character has never jumped from the written page.

you are happy with the silliness of conan the destroyer or red sonja? more power to you. as for the 1st conan movie, its ok, but ReH fans know it for what the movie is, a shadow of what it could have been.

GNARLY FRAZETTA CONAN!
by -888
Jan 11th, 2008
08:56:30 AM
Stick to the source material! Read the original R. E. Howard stories! Conan's not an idiot! He's shrewd and kinda scary! Super-brutal, super-dirty R Rating! Beheadings and T&A! Freaky occult! Terrifying battle scenes! Don't cop out! Or we will boycott!
Mr Saxon
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
Jan 11th, 2008
08:56:32 AM
That pointy star thing = The Glaive. The greatest weapon imaginable outside of Tommy Lee's dick.
Sahara?
by Omar B
Jan 11th, 2008
08:58:44 AM
They are letting the dumb-asses who adapted Clussler's Sahara to film? That script sucked balls! I want Conan to work, I'm a huge fan of REH and the authors who followed him, I hope they can get one adaptation right.
Shia Labeouf for Conan 1, Ryan Reynold for Conan 2 &...
by HarryBlackPotter
Jan 11th, 2008
08:58:45 AM
Bruce Campbell as King Conan in Conan 3D. Hail to the king, baby!
Howards work vs KING CONAN
by ABking
Jan 11th, 2008
08:59:24 AM
I think more fans want KING CONAN with Arnie/Milius/Wachowski's more than a young agile PG-13 Conan. Fuck a PG-13 Conan!!! We want a 60 million bare bones VIOLENT as hell old Arnie with an axe Conan. I hope for the best with this new 100 million film but expect the worst!!! Sly is RAMBO and Arnie is CONAN!
Conan should NOT...
by DocPazuzu
Jan 11th, 2008
09:02:59 AM
...be played by some wrestler or shriveldicked bodybuilder who can't even reach over and scratch his other arm. There are plenty of huge muscular guys who also are agile enough to be believable fighters.

He's not supposed to look like one of those posing, mulleted, beefcake losers so often seen in Vallejo hackworks or on bad metal albums.

palewook conan the destroyer or red sonja do not exist in this d
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
Jan 11th, 2008
09:04:19 AM
but to call the 1st a shadow of what it could have been shows no respect to what was actually achieved with that movie. It kickstarted the barbarian genre, made fantasy respectable(with its cast, director and Composer) and has never been beaten. what else is there? Kull, the Scorpion King? I know you will never get your Conan that you want. Ever. I also know that you will look far more fondly on that first attempt than what will be spoonfed to us soon. I feel for you Howard fans, but at the same time how lucky were we that the first was even made?
by -888 your dreamin mate
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
Jan 11th, 2008
09:09:08 AM
In a perfect world that would happen, and in this world G.W Bush is president.(that oughta piss someone off he he he.)
read and watched
by harold_maude
Jan 11th, 2008
09:14:41 AM
and I love both, the movie(barbarian only) gives Conan a much more internal struggle then we see in the stories. The film is perfect, not a perfect translation but a perfect movie.He is capable of mistakes and not invincible. And Conan may not say much but he is smart in the movie, he has been taught to read and write and read all the poets and philosophers. I the end he uses his knowledge to choose a path into the future... if you have seen the uncut DVD. They could make a King Conan movie with Arnie that is more like the books now even though the first takes many liberties. he could be old but tired of sitting day and night on his throne making executive descisions longing for the times of High Adventure!!! but we will probably end up with some greased up turd swinging his ridiculous blade around into 3d unscary monsters, bouncing l ike gumby all around the frame, then giving us a direct smirk into the camera... ugh
harold_maude
by DocPazuzu
Jan 11th, 2008
09:20:07 AM
What you say about the character in the Milius film is true and interesting, but it's just not Howard's Conan. Why even call him Conan if it's a completely different character in almost every way? Milius himself said he only used the Conan property as an excuse to make the "viking picture" he always wanted to make.
The Glaive is the greatest weapon imaginable?
by Abin Sur
Jan 11th, 2008
09:20:19 AM
Dude, you can't even catch the thing without losing a finger. Best weapon ever: a Ghostbusters proton pack.
REH purists...
by judge dredds fresh undies
Jan 11th, 2008
09:21:55 AM
I love the original stories but no one will ever make a faithful adaptation of Howards Conan, and if they did it probably wouldn't work. Milius' Conan is a wonderful piece of Cinema and I seriously doubt anyone will ever make a better film baring the Conan name. But hey enjoy this piece of shit when it comes out rather than support Milius' King Conan which could reinvent the fantasy genre again.
palewook
by DocPazuzu
Jan 11th, 2008
09:22:49 AM
Funny you should mention Riddick. While watching the second flick, specifically the hand-to-hand combat scenes, I remember thinking that THIS is how the fighting in a Conan movie should look. Also, while I think Diesel would be wrong for the part in virtually every single way, his physique does approach what a big, muscular and agile Hyborian warrior should look like.
King Conan
by Omar B
Jan 11th, 2008
09:25:11 AM
I keep hearing that in this thread, but really what's the fun in the old Conan? My favorite version is when he's a pirate in many of of the DeCamp books or the mercenary traveling on his black warhorse. I don't wanna see an elderly Conan on the throne when we were not even given a faithful young Conan to begin with.
judge dredds fresh undies
by DocPazuzu
Jan 11th, 2008
09:26:52 AM
I'd love to see a Milius King Conan film, but I'd much rather have a somewhat faithful adaptation of the stories. Howard was nothing if not a "cinematic" writer and the imagery simply leaps off the pages as one's reading the stories. There is no reason except studio incompetence, greed or disinterest that a true version could be made. Mind you, those things are rife in the industry but there is nothing inherent in the stories themselves which makes them unfilmable.
No Arnold, No movie
by Bobo_Vision
Jan 11th, 2008
09:32:22 AM
This is the 3rd of a trilogy, and a glimpse of it was shown at the end of "Conan the Barbarian" where Arnold is sitting in his throne with a full beard, while Mako narrated some foreshadowing for the coming tale. If they replace him with some random muscleman, I'm sure the meatheads who salivate over muscles will be happy, but the discontinuity from the first two films will be a leap too large to follow, and this will fall on the Straight-to-video dung heap, or cater to the white trash wrestling crowd, or the geeky fantasy fanboy douchebags, or the angry white male crowd who like to see musclemen kill people while thrash metal screams "let the bodies hit the floor" in the background.
King Conan - where to read it?
by 9970
Jan 11th, 2008
09:32:52 AM
Anybody know how/where I could read Milius' King Conan script? I'd rather pay to read that, than to watch the new Lionsgate version.
DOCPOO POO...
by ABking
Jan 11th, 2008
09:39:38 AM
Doc, give it a fucking rest. Ok, you keep stating the Milius film is not a faithful Conan film, ok!!! But get over it dipshit! It is a CONAN film and Arnie plays...get this...CONAN THE BARBARIAN. Unless his name is Sam or Billy or somtheing else, it's CONAN you are watching! Faithful? Maybe not! Is it a movie called CONAN with Arnie playing that character! FUCK YES!
is it wrong...
by sith_rising
Jan 11th, 2008
09:48:11 AM
that I prefer Red Sonja to Conan the Destroyer? and a new Conan film better have a hard R rating, lots of tits and fucking, and an incredible soundtrack.
Sahara had one of the worst scripts in ages.
by Batutta
Jan 11th, 2008
09:59:25 AM
First, they find the hidden map that points them in the direction of their treasure when a soccer ball ACCIDENTLY rolls into a cave. Then they end up finding what they all have been looking for when a shell explosion ACCIDENTLY uncovers it from the desert floor. Horrible, lazy writing of the lowest order.
don't you mean KRULL it up?
by FleshMachine
Jan 11th, 2008
10:03:40 AM
A world light-years beyond your imagination.
9970
by palewook
Jan 11th, 2008
10:20:08 AM
google "Milius King Conan"

what you will find is milius lifting part of the frost giant's daughter, then making conan's king not by his own hand and not of aquilonia. growing old and fat.

the story reads more like a roman tell of debauchery and skulduggery, than the tale of conan strangling a king on his own throne and becoming the usurper.

There's already a Solomon Kane script out there.
by Uncapie
Jan 11th, 2008
10:30:58 AM
Its pretty good too.
theres already a solomon kane movie in preduction
by palewook
Jan 11th, 2008
10:33:53 AM
http://tinyurl.com/yu454n

variety and superhero hype have been all over this for awhile.

ABKing
by DocPazuzu
Jan 11th, 2008
10:45:47 AM
You don't want to get into this with me. Trust me on that. Your insta-spooge reaction to anything even remotely Arnie or Sly-related makes even fairly fanatical Arnie and and Sly fans recoil in horror. Nothing you say in these talkbacks has ever been met with anything but mild amusement (at your expense)at best and outright disdain at worst.
Conan, what is most important in cinema?
by ArcadianDS
Jan 11th, 2008
10:58:00 AM
Finding lost confederate ships hundreds of miles upstream in the African desert, and to hear the lamentations of the audience.
What if Vince McMahon is fronting the 100 mil
by The Winged Doucheman
Jan 11th, 2008
11:09:29 AM
To make this a John Cena star vehicle? By Krom, it will suck ballsack.
ArcadianDS
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
Jan 11th, 2008
11:30:44 AM
touche
Skrulls Vs. Conan-I'm so there!
by Uncapie
Jan 11th, 2008
11:35:01 AM
Both Marvel properties. What more can you ask for? Excelsior!
Maybe Conan will make a cameo in the Hulk movie
by The Winged Doucheman
Jan 11th, 2008
11:50:11 AM
What a wacky Marvel universe!
ANIMATED CONAN Movie in Production
by halsolo
Jan 11th, 2008
12:33:19 PM
RAMBO looks hot, so I'll reserve judgement. Anyways, I've been involved in the Conan Animated project, but still - has anyone seen this? www.conanrednails.com I've known about this project for about 3 years now. The artwork on display has been true to Howard's vision for the RED NAILS story, and the animation tests I saw were pretty great, so one way or another looks like we will be swimming in Conan! Personally, I feel 2d art has always done this character much better justice (Frazetta? all the artwork in the new Conan collections, Barry Windsor-Smith's Marvel run), so I'm optimistic - cast is rock solid, and the team's designs were outstanding, a lot better than the last batch of Marvel and Hellboy DTV stuff in my opinion! The boards and animatics were outstanding and brutal, so I hope these guys pull through and get this done so we are awash in a sea of Conan done right.
Talkback Form 1981
by thelordofhell
Jan 11th, 2008
01:00:52 PM
OMG they are making a CONAN movie. I can't believe they cast some nobody bodybuilder in this role. The only thing this Arnold Swor...Stuart...Swarzewhatever can do is just pose and look oily. Jesus, the only reason to see this piece of crap is the fact that Darth Vader is in it...GO JAMES EARL JONES!!!
Robert E. Howard committed suicide, so who cares?
by rbatty024
Jan 11th, 2008
01:02:24 PM
I'm going to illogically attack the art because of my disagreement with how the artist ended his life. I figured the posts about Kurt Cobain shouldn't be the only ones to have some douchebag make fun of someone for being clinically depressed. I will be that douchebag!
Arnold should be in it
by performingmonkey
Jan 11th, 2008
01:31:19 PM
And James Earl Jones somehow. If either of those don't happen I'm out.
As long as it doesn't suck
by Purgatori
Jan 11th, 2008
01:31:40 PM
like the fucking video game did. Wow, what a disappointment that was.
As long as it doesn't suck
by Purgatori
Jan 11th, 2008
01:33:30 PM
like the fucking video game did. Wow, what a disappointment that was.
'Triple HHH' (WWE) for Conan!
by Stark Industries
Jan 11th, 2008
01:46:09 PM
He already is! Batista would be a good second! -Stark
Awesome! Another Nu Image Millunium masterpiece!
by Tourist
Jan 11th, 2008
01:46:21 PM
Seriously, have these guys ever stepped wrong since leaving the DTV market? 16 Blocks, Wicker Man, Black Dahlia, other unwatchable shit. I swear, SWEAR, to god these guys must be a money laundering front, or possessed by the ghost of Cannon. Although, they don't make nearly as cool films as Invasion USA or American Ninja.
NO Arnold
by BranMakMorn
Jan 11th, 2008
01:59:04 PM
The best way to do a Conan film is not rehashing the old films. Arnold didn't make Conan who he is, just look at the way the films degraded on the sequel - that had Arnold in it. Conan is about finding the correct storytellers who can take the principles of Robert E. Howard and interpret them on film. It isn't even about making a film scene for scene from one of his books but preserving the integrity of the character. I would pick a director like David Fincher as someone who can understand the themes of Conan. What REH was trying to say, his vision and commentary on modern society. It would be a big leap for the studio to understand this because they are probably only responding to the surface qualities of the character. The action should be another level, not 300 but brutal, quick and primal. So the challenge for the studio is whether or not they will choose the creative talents to raise the bar. All this talk about Arnold isn't from Conan fans, a Conan fan would be concerned about the vision of REH not being involved instead if some old actor who will just look to cash in on his past glory.
this is depressing
by Prossor
Jan 11th, 2008
02:29:18 PM
these straight adaptations should've been done after Arnie's proper trilogy finisher.
Riddick
by HornOrSilk
Jan 11th, 2008
02:50:16 PM
CoR was, I think, one of the most under-rated sci-fi epics of the decade. It was great fun. While it had many imperfections, it was the closest to a Conan story EVER. Arnold wishes he could have had a character as close to Conan as that. And for this reason alone, I think the scriptwriter for CoR should be involved with any Conan film. I also don't think they should do the trilogy in "normal" order. It should start with King Conan in Hour of the Dragon. Then a second story, a flashback story, before the third and last one. In medias res folks. It works. Howard didn't write Conan stories in chronological order, either!
Riddick
by HornOrSilk
Jan 11th, 2008
02:51:26 PM
CoR was, I think, one of the most under-rated sci-fi epics of the decade. It was great fun. While it had many imperfections, it was the closest to a Conan story EVER. Arnold wishes he could have had a character as close to Conan as that. And for this reason alone, I think the scriptwriter for CoR should be involved with any Conan film. I also don't think they should do the trilogy in "normal" order. It should start with King Conan in Hour of the Dragon. Then a second story, a flashback story, before the third and last one. In medias res folks. It works. Howard didn't write Conan stories in chronological order, either!
Riddick
by HornOrSilk
Jan 11th, 2008
02:51:26 PM
CoR was, I think, one of the most under-rated sci-fi epics of the decade. It was great fun. While it had many imperfections, it was the closest to a Conan story EVER. Arnold wishes he could have had a character as close to Conan as that. And for this reason alone, I think the scriptwriter for CoR should be involved with any Conan film. I also don't think they should do the trilogy in "normal" order. It should start with King Conan in Hour of the Dragon. Then a second story, a flashback story, before the third and last one. In medias res folks. It works. Howard didn't write Conan stories in chronological order, either!
CONAN THE MEHMARIAN
by BringingSexyBack
Jan 11th, 2008
02:59:39 PM
Never been a Conan fan so this is meh to me, but good for you guys who love this character. I'd rather see a movie about Arak or Warlord, maybe Beastmaster II?.
By Crom and Mitra!
by Clarence Boddicker
Jan 11th, 2008
03:08:31 PM
I swear I'll raise of host of Turanian mercenaries and raze the offices of Lionsgate to the ground! Stygian whores and Pictish dogs the lot of them! What say them of "movie rights" and "100 million dollars"...pffft. Words for civilized men. I'll SEIZE the rights and TAKE their money, then storm south...to HBO where a ROME sized story can be told over two seasons...a story of a 19 year old Cimmerian thief, struggling to survive in the barrens and cities of Zamora. A man who in time, will become the greatest living warrior in all of Hyboria! Thief, swashbuckler, pirate, tribal chief, general...King. Conan becomes all of these things and more! With a liver of diamond, loins of steel and spending habits that would make a sultan blush...hedonism is taken to a new level. Let us witness Conan's world as it was meant to be seen...from the frozen wastes of Vanaheim to the sands of Iranistan, the golden beachs of Zingara to snow capped peaks of Vendhya. 30 years of adventure can't be summed up in a 2 hour movie...or even a 6 hour trilogy. Crom!
Anyone who does not know the difference
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Jan 11th, 2008
03:15:14 PM
between Krull and Kull is banished from talbacks for 30 days so they can educate their thick heads.
Conan
by Prossor
Jan 11th, 2008
03:28:57 PM
I doubt they would get the grim and somber yet wonderfully pulp tone of those stories. Even with Milius calling it his viking picture (even with no water?) it still had that same sexist, raunchy, and unbelievable brutaliy of the tales, and that certain atmosphere even if turning it into an origin story of a more oafish slave who breaks free instead of the cunning panther of the stories. If this is a heavily commercialized movie trying to cash in on the LOTR-fantasy wave right now it will be a joke, if it actually has balls for such a production than i'll eat my words, but the type of stuff that went on in the books like a sea of blood lapping at the ankles after a battle
whoops
by Clarence Boddicker
Jan 11th, 2008
03:34:55 PM
errr...that's "I swear I'll raise A host.." Maybe I'll get an Aquilonian sage to proof read next time...
BringingSexyBack, Beastmaster 2 already exists!
by pokadoo
Jan 11th, 2008
03:41:49 PM
As does this piss awfull 'Beastmaster 3: The Eye of Braxis'(Donovan travels through time to modern day L.A. to save eternia or something). There could even be more Beastmasters by now! 'Beastmaster Vs Hawk The Slayer'? 'Beastmaster in Space'?
BringingSexyBack, Beastmaster 2 already exists!
by pokadoo
Jan 11th, 2008
03:43:56 PM
As does this piss awfull 'Beastmaster 3: The Eye of Braxis'(Donovan travels through time to modern day L.A. to save eternia or something). There could even be more Beastmasters by now! 'Beastmaster Vs Hawk The Slayer'? 'Beastmaster in Space'?
CROM!!
by pokadoo
Jan 11th, 2008
03:45:38 PM
Double posting!
I want a Frank Frazetta Style Conan
by birdy birdman
Jan 11th, 2008
06:44:59 PM
too
I want a Bill Watterson style Conan
by birdy birdman
Jan 11th, 2008
06:45:44 PM
I want a Roald Dahl style Conan
by birdy birdman
Jan 11th, 2008
06:46:41 PM
CONAN WITHOUT ARNOLD SIMPLYWONT BE THE SAME...
by Playkins
Jan 11th, 2008
07:02:18 PM
Doesn't anyone remember that godawful syndicated "Conan the Adventurer" show with Rolf Sundthemsdbnxoicnwnmn (or whatever)?
...Hell, a sequel WITH Arnold wasn't even the same...
by Playkins
Jan 11th, 2008
07:05:39 PM
...awful mess that Conan the Destroyer was. Face it, John Milius captured a special magic with the first. Perfect cast, crew, music and locations.

by Half-Baked-Goggle-Box-Do-Gooder
Jan 11th, 2008
08:47:38 PM
Maybe they can call it "Conan the Octogenarian".
One thing about Milius' version:
by DoctorWho?
Jan 11th, 2008
10:03:12 PM
I'm sure you'll all agree the FX stand up extremely well. A pre-CG film pulled off pretty much flawlessly. One shot of that walled city(Zamora if I recall)in the background/or maybe Thulsa Doom's Temple...but it's just a model, a forced perspective shot...and you'd swear they had built a fucking city on a mountain top. Not to mention lopping that snake head off with that glorious, hypnotic score pulsing in the background! And the village raid in the intro which owns Gladiator by light years. Of course it's dated here and there, but a damn fine job by all involved. I'm wondering why I don't even own this on DVD! What the Hell!?
has anyone caught CONAN O'BRIENS new BEARD?
by future help
Jan 11th, 2008
10:26:54 PM
a late night great.
Explanation of why the bad writers get the jobs:
by kabong
Jan 11th, 2008
10:32:30 PM
They put their main effort into getting jobs, not doing the jobs.

It's the 80-20 rule: They spend eighty percent of their time schmoozing and only twenty percent of their time writing.

It must be Harry's time of the month again. I'm having trouble posting.

POKADOO - I JUST CHECKED NETFLIX
by BringingSexyBack
Jan 11th, 2008
10:50:57 PM
and there's no Beastmaster sequel. And if there is and it's not on Netflix, I can't imagine it being, um, good?
I WANT A 300-STYLE CONAN
by BringingSexyBack
Jan 11th, 2008
10:52:09 PM
Damn I love that movie ... (300 that is)
There is no actor
by Staldo
Jan 12th, 2008
12:21:51 AM
I don't know if there is a living actor that can do Conan justice. Attention huge hulking actors who are also very agile and good at delivering poetic monologues about not caring for gods or civilized man: Be sure to audition. I don't want to see some shitty WWE wrestler in this puppy. If that doesn't work, just get somebody like Kiefer Sutherland and do the Beowulf motion tracking thing to turn him into a muscled killing machine. Instant Conan.
PG13 I BET MY ASS
by alucardvsdracula
Jan 12th, 2008
02:51:14 AM
FUCKERS.
CHEAP AS FUCK I BET MY ASS
by alucardvsdracula
Jan 12th, 2008
02:51:35 AM
FUCKERS.
WILL PISS OFF CROM I BET MY ASS
by alucardvsdracula
Jan 12th, 2008
02:51:53 AM
FUCKERS.
Will Conan learn the riddle of steel this time?
by caruso_stalker217
Jan 12th, 2008
03:27:25 AM
Or was that crazy fuck Thulsa Doom right? Is flesh stronger? Also, will there be tits?
Welling as Conan?
by DocPazuzu
Jan 12th, 2008
04:25:55 AM
Christ, that has got to be the singularly worst casting idea I have ever heard.
KULL? Shouldn't it be KRULL?
by wackybantha
Jan 12th, 2008
04:36:56 AM
If that's a typo in your article please fix it. IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE!!!!!!!!!! Have a nice day!
He was referring to the Sorbo flick
by caruso_stalker217
Jan 12th, 2008
05:55:47 AM
It was originally supposed to be another CONAN sequel.
The Beastmaster2 thing plays in the future...
by travis-dane
Jan 12th, 2008
06:50:54 AM
or was that the first one?Are you tlking about that Marc Singer movie?I am pretty sure it has a part 2.In the begining he is in his Beastmaster world,but then a Girl with a Porsche comes along and takes him to the 90`s(really,I have seen it)where the bad dude is doing some timemagic shit.
wackybantha, if your question is serious
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Jan 12th, 2008
08:14:10 AM
You are banished. See my previous post.
Casting Conan!!
by DoctorWho?
Jan 12th, 2008
08:50:23 AM
Arnie was a perfect cast beacause A)Not a pretty boy B)His natural accent/ethnicity lended an exotic element to the role C)Not a pretty boy...OH, did I mention that? Cause you can be damn sure the powers that be will cast some GQ shmuck with a Southern California accent. Not that Conan is ugly. But CHARISMA is the key here...Howards Conan is elemental,primal. Tom Welling type good looks ain't the key. They must cast an unknown-and NOT an anglo!
Wackybantha!!
by DoctorWho?
Jan 12th, 2008
08:58:19 AM
Your GEEK MEMBERSHIP CARD has been officially revoked! You are on double secret probation!
No Goody-Goody Conan.
by Half-Baked-Goggle-Box-Do-Gooder
Jan 12th, 2008
09:48:18 AM
MUST be a grouchy, brat-slappin' kinda fella. Smart, but superstitious and self-righteous. No patience for wishy-washy. I nominate Steven Colbert. He already loves make-up.
I wish they'd never make another Conan movie.
by Gil Brooks
Jan 12th, 2008
12:17:06 PM
Barbarian is one of my al-time favs, and I'd rather they just leave it at that. I would be happy if that was the only Conan movie that was ever made. $100 mil budget (if true) = PG-13 = not a Conan movie for me.
about the animated red nails?
by firehawk_thexder
Jan 12th, 2008
12:42:36 PM
for those asking about it, I thought I had heard pretty definitively that they were shelving that (ran out of money or something..?) I don't recall now where I saw that though.
Actually, Jon Cryer as CONAN...
by TheGhostWhoLurks
Jan 12th, 2008
02:37:34 PM
Is the worst casting idea EVER. Tom Welling as the Barbarian is just silly.

As DoctorWho? said: "NO MODELS!" They look effeminate and anything BUT "barbaric."

I'm sure there're any number of "rough-n-tumble" looking musclemen out there who can act reasonably well. The studio just has to look around.

Barbarian's effects
by Prossor
Jan 12th, 2008
02:54:03 PM
gotta agree with what was said above about those effects, they look just as real as they did back then, no shitty CGI. The frozen forest opening is phenmoenally phenomenal. Damn i love that movie. In the 30s there was talk of adapting Howard's stories and using stop-motion animation like in King Kong to do those monsters, how SWEET would that have been? Ah to dream...
Just remember that whoever plays Conan
by Le Chevalier Noir
Jan 12th, 2008
06:22:41 PM
must be able to grunt AH-thentically when he's kicked and rolling downhill.

by Omar B
Jan 12th, 2008
06:36:55 PM
How about Javier Bardem for Conan? He looks pretty similar to Howard's discription here: http://www.imdb.com/gallery/gr anitz/2674/JavierBard_Grani_42 01845_400.jpg.html?path=pgalle ry&path_key=Bardem%2C%20Javier &seq=15
Actually, Panterarocks...
by DocPazuzu
Jan 12th, 2008
08:02:43 PM
...didn't you once champion Cutler as Conan in another Conan TB? Yes, I believe it was the same TB in which you bragged(!) about having had one-on-one photo sessions with that greased-up steroid monkey. I'm sure you both relaxed afterwards by whacking off to your Vallejo and Julie Bell posters.
Samuel L Jackson as the return of Thulsa Doom!
by Half-Baked-Goggle-Box-Do-Gooder
Jan 12th, 2008
10:21:17 PM
Trash it up. Why the fuck not?
Come to think of it.....
by Half-Baked-Goggle-Box-Do-Gooder
Jan 12th, 2008
10:24:15 PM
And Travolta as Conan. Now THERE's some chemistry. Puddle Of Mudd can do the score, and Brett Ratner (a GOD) can direct. You all know it's inevitable.
relaxed afterwards by whacking off to your Vallejo and Julie Bel
by DoctorWho?
Jan 12th, 2008
10:37:19 PM
LOL. Ouch.
relaxed afterwards by whacking off to your Vallejo and Julie Bel
by DoctorWho?
Jan 12th, 2008
10:37:29 PM
LOL. Ouch.
TRAVIS-DANE - THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP ON BEASTMASTER 2
by BringingSexyBack
Jan 13th, 2008
12:30:13 AM
That being the case I definitely think it's time for a proper sequel starring an oiled up Zac Efron. I won't watch it, but it will make billions.
OKAY PANTERA. YOU CALLING DOCPAZ
by BringingSexyBack
Jan 13th, 2008
12:39:13 AM
"slack jawed drooling retarded glittering jewel of colossal ignorance" is definitely an historic low in the category of pot/kettle/black moments.

Kids, this is your brain on steroids. Don't do steroids.

By the power of Greyskull!
by 'Cholera's Ghost
Jan 13th, 2008
01:39:51 AM
Alright, wrong series. Ray Park for Conan.
Panterarocks
by DocPazuzu
Jan 13th, 2008
02:55:45 AM
That's your defense? That an admin "spoofed" your name? Then why is it every time I've hounded you with that particularly hilarious item, you've defended it with great vigor and an awesome torrent of abuse like the one you just delivered?

By the way, your "j/k" was posted about 15 minutes after your first post. What happened was that you posted without reading the TB first. When you saw that I was active in the TB you panicked and tried to head off my inevitable response by posting a late "j/k".

Sorry, son, you lose.

Now go back to chemically sculpting that jawline and cro-magnon forehead. Remember, if your biceps get big enough, people will be too afraid of you to ask why you look like Alley Oop with a camel toe.

And don't forget, Pantera...
by DocPazuzu
Jan 13th, 2008
02:57:37 AM
...one-on-one photo shoots with Jay Cutler can't be gay if you don't have penises.
Reading Comics
by HornOrSilk
Jan 13th, 2008
04:26:23 AM
That sure makes you an authority on Conan! (not!) I mean, you would do better if you said, "I read all the letters of REH," but, sadly, they were never made into comic book form.
Plus anyone who thinks non REH Conan counts
by HornOrSilk
Jan 13th, 2008
04:36:55 AM
Will never be an authority on Conan. They would do be better served studying Conan O'Brien, he's more on their level.
Somebody send these fuckers...
by Sledge Hammer
Jan 13th, 2008
07:00:07 AM
...all the original R.E. Howard Conan stories, then after they're through with them send them Dark Horse's recent Conan comic series to show them how to adapt such stories into the modern medium without losing the balls and sensibilities of the original stories. Then hold a blade to their throats and make them swear it'll be r rated and fully blooded, or else their heads go to the gutter before the rest of them does.

This has huge potential if treated right, or it could be Kull or Red Sonja if treated wrong. By Crom I pray they don't fuck it up, but we'll see.

Still, until I hear some casting and director attachments I have more faith in the new James Purefoy starring Solomon Kane movie than I do in this one. There's a new Red Sonja film in the works too, which, again, has potential if they don't screw it up. We'll see.

I love Conan The Barbarian...
by Sledge Hammer
Jan 13th, 2008
07:30:39 AM
It's a great film, it really is, but the time of that Conan is well past, it's been 23 years or so since Conan The Destroyer, if the much vaunted King Conan film was ever truly going to be made it would have been done by now. But it wasn't, it's sad, I would have loved to have seen it, but there comes a point where you just have to let go. I mean Schwarzenegger is likely done with acting, certainly "action movie" acting, even when his term ends. He's a "respectable" man now, so it just aint gonna happen, any more than him going back to Bodybuilding full time after he left that to concentrate on acting. Sure, he may flirt with it to show that he still can, but for the most part he's done. Face it, it's true.

On top of that Mako is dead (may the great man rest in peace), Sandahl Bergman is all but retired, not even doing the z-grade fare that she was reduced to doing for much of her post Conan career, and John Milius, outside of being a credited producer/creator on HBO's superior Rome (which he didn't actively contribute to in any way, only helped set the project up initially), he hasn't directed a decent film in almost 20 years, and hasn't written a good (produced) script in 15. Time to let the pipe dream drift away methinks.

No, as much as I love the Milius/Arnie Conan, it's time has passed, and now is the perfect time for a proper R.E. Howard based Conan to unleash onto the screens. This isn't some crappy remake or cash in re-imagining, it's an opportunity to bring the character and universe of Howard's Conan to the screen as it was originally intended. This is akin to following the Ralph Bakshi Lord Of The Rings with Peter Jackson's Lord Of The Rings, or the 60's parody Casino Royale with the serious Daniel Craig Casino Royale from a couple years back. Not only is there room for a different, more faithful take on Conan, it could be something really great if handled correctly. Now whether it'll be handled correctly, that's the thing, but there's certainly room and huge potential for it.

Oh, and the Red Nails animated Conan movie...
by Sledge Hammer
Jan 13th, 2008
07:50:23 AM
Should be out late this year from what I've heard. Whatever financial/production problems they were having seem to have been sorted out now, and they're back to irregularly updating their website again, and, from what I've heard at least, production was full steam ahead again. I think the upcoming MMO Age of Conan game, the expansion of the Dark Horse R.E. Howard line this year (including a title name change and numbering re-start to coincide with the next chapter in Conan's life story) and the selling and setting up of new films for Conan, Solomon Kane and Red Sonja all helped sort out the animated Red Nails finance difficulties in wooing fresh investors to the project. If it turns out as good as it looks should be pretty damn cool.
I smell flop.
by Frankenblogger
Jan 13th, 2008
11:45:28 AM
Total flop.
Before there was Highlander 2 there was
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Jan 13th, 2008
12:00:57 PM
Conan the Destroyer, the sequel that never should have been made.
High Pitch Eric for Conan
by haggardatbest
Jan 13th, 2008
01:43:32 PM
How big are your balls?
jk on Park for Conan!
by 'Cholera's Ghost
Jan 13th, 2008
02:27:06 PM
Alright, so I was half-kididng. Swordfighting skills yes, but I don't know about acting chops. In any case, it was an admin spoofing my name. That's my new defense against any talkbacker harangue. I haven't read the Conan series. So he is really more John Carter than say, Gamorrean Guard?
speaking of that Solomon Kane
by Prossor
Jan 13th, 2008
04:05:34 PM
by Crom i hope they dont screw that movie up, make it respectable to the souce material, yet a director's masterpiece, without being pretentious, yet enough verve to it... and if they dont then... to hell with Crom!
Why are people still messing with DocPazuzu?
by travis-dane
Jan 13th, 2008
05:22:57 PM
In the almost two month I post here he killed em`all!And they deserved it!Thank you very much SIR!
And there could have been this...
by JackPumpkinhead
Jan 13th, 2008
05:43:04 PM
http://www.aintitcool.com/disp lay.cgi?id=10000 But nooo, there will be this. And then most likely a prequel, scripted by some other two idiots, probably the ones who shat out Transformers.
RAY STEVENSON FROM ROME
by Hellspike
Jan 13th, 2008
07:10:41 PM
Only choice for conan though i still think this will stink.
Bah! Reboot the series
by Teddy Artery
Jan 13th, 2008
08:15:14 PM
Anyone who read the Conan books when they were young knew that the films that followed much later were simply goofball action movies. None of the dark, dankness of the books survived the translation to screen. I think I could only trust one or two people to faithfully translate a Conan story these days... and one of them might be Frank Miller. :)
People still don't get it travis-dane
by 'Cholera's Ghost
Jan 13th, 2008
08:15:24 PM
Messin' with D.Paz is like Messin' with Sasquatch in those jerky commercials. Your juvenile attempts will only serve to annoy, and will inevitably end with a sorry mix of pain, pwn, and humiliation.
Is THE ROCK gonna be CONAN?
by kirttrik
Jan 13th, 2008
08:46:07 PM
That's the real question...I think he'd actually be perfect in the role.
This film won't even be as good as the Conan the Adventurer cart
by King Conan
Jan 13th, 2008
11:13:07 PM
Lionsgate is a b-movie company at best. The Conan the Adventurer cartoon was pretty faithful to alot of the original stories believe it or not.
Lionsgate movies of worth...
by Sledge Hammer
Jan 14th, 2008
01:16:36 AM
Gods & Monsters, Ghost Dog, Pi, Kids, Swimming With Sharks, Affliction, Requiem For A Dream, American Psycho, Shadow Of A Vampire, Cecil B Demented, Blair Witch Project, Lantana, Monster's Ball, The Rules Of Attraction, Bully, The Cooler, Crash, House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects, Saw, Hard Candy, 3:10 To Yuma.

In other words, while there is no doubt that they have made a lot of shit over the years, they've made a fair share of worthwhile movies too, so to act as if Lionsgate has never made anything interesting and/or worth watching is absolute bollocks.

Bringingsexyback- IMDB has a listing for them!
by pokadoo
Jan 14th, 2008
05:47:25 AM
http://tinyurl.com/38f9r5 And yeah, they are shit! I recently watched the original Beastmaster for the first time since I was a kid. I convinced a friend it was almost as good as Conan the Barbarian. It was more like a shit knockoff of Conan meets Dr Doolittle. Not as good as I remembered. Although it has got a surprising amount of boobies for a PG film!
"Boom you just combined Howards cannon...
by DocPazuzu
Jan 14th, 2008
06:51:21 AM
...with Millius movie universe."

Er, no you didn't. What you did was combine the Milius version with a bastardization of Howard's work even more severe than the first movie.

The only people even remotely happy with your idea are only the Milius movie fans. Any REH fan worth his salt would be horrified by that solution, and rightly so.

The idea of Conan being the son of royalty being visited by his dad's ghost is simply awful and goes against two of the very basic characteristics of Howard's Cimmerian.

I'm afraid I have to agree with DocPazuzu...
by Sledge Hammer
Jan 14th, 2008
08:41:19 AM
You clearly know nothing of Howard's Conan to think that would make a film that was anything like Howard's Conan, or that would please any fans of Howard's original character. Plus you seem to have also overlooked the fact that if your Arnie King Conan were to die then his son would then become king, so he can't exactly up and piss off and become a pirate or have adventures or anything else. Never mind that conceptually you've just gone against everything that Howard's Conan is about and created a "young Conan" character that was even further away from Howard's vision than Millius' Conan was, as DocPazuzu above said. Nope, sorry, try again.
Okay...
by Sledge Hammer
Jan 14th, 2008
08:44:12 AM
I somehow missed the bit where you made young Conan "on the run", but still, everything else I said I hold to. It might work as a story, but not as a Conan story, and definitely not as a R.E. Howard Conan story.
A Young Conan could work.........
by Andyb77
Jan 14th, 2008
10:20:00 AM
if and this is a big if, is if it starts with the sacking of Venarium. Plus the beginning would have to have Mako's intro.
whenever I see Panterarocks post
by Lost Jarv
Jan 14th, 2008
11:03:17 AM
I always picture the guy that did the voice for Jack Howitzer in GTA San Andreas.
"I heard what you said about me! You think steroids shrank my ge
by Lost Jarv
Jan 14th, 2008
11:03:48 AM
heh.
damn it. That should have read
by Lost Jarv
Jan 14th, 2008
11:04:37 AM
"I heard what you said about me! You think steroids shrank my genitals!"
DocPazuzu & Sledge Hammer...
by ABking
Jan 14th, 2008
11:09:27 AM
You two share the same limited brain of R.E. Howard and is work on Conan. FUCK A true faithful Conan story! There are enough fans--non Conan ones and Conan ones--that will support a Milius/Schwarzenegger KING CONAN. Fuck that PG-13 movie to come, compared to older Conan/Arnie doing massive epic battles in what would become a true bad ass action adventure epic. If you two want faithful, go read the Howard books and stop the crying for a agile young Conan. Doc, why don't you go dress up as Conan since you talk about him so much and then read Howards work while in costume. You seem to want to suck Howards cock big time liitle Puzuzu!!! It is obvious more people want to see KING CONAN than this new film that just got greenlit. Will a KING CONAN ever happen? Probably not...unless the producers decide they'll do Arnie's version sometime down the road because it would make buckets and buckets more money at the box-office. If new young PG-13 Conan doesn't flop and Paradox and Avi Lerner are forced to make King Conan anyways.
"limited brain of R.E. Howard and is work on Conan"
by DocPazuzu
Jan 14th, 2008
11:25:36 AM
You do know that you just anally raped yourself in front of all of talkbackdom, don't you?
Hey Jarv
by DocPazuzu
Jan 14th, 2008
11:26:16 AM
Just got my MegaForce DVD in the mail today!
Ha
by ABking
Jan 14th, 2008
11:48:15 AM
The only thing that will get rapped young padawine learner is the box-office by RAMBO on January 25th and a KING CONAN if made with Arnie directed by Milius.
ABking.....
by Andyb77
Jan 14th, 2008
12:04:52 PM
doesn't really have any idea what the original REH is. If he did he wouldn't of spewed that liquid diarhea.
Lionsgate sounds like they're doing a New Line
by Rakafraker
Jan 14th, 2008
12:30:52 PM
Wasn't it the same thing, where everyone was saying that LoTR was gonna be awful, because New Line was known for some of the schlock they put out? Wasn't PJ a bit of a NZ clone of Raimi when NL hired him? (IMHO - Dead-Alive was AWFUL) And that worked out pretty good for them, so why not Lionsgate?

I hope for a Lawrence of Arabia meets Braveheart with Excaliber overtones, but pray that it's not Herc and Xena or Kull humor-fest, with American English accents.

(DGMW-I still love Raimi despite Spiderman 3 - Avi, why couldn't you let Sam end his trilogy the way he wanted? You could have still had your Venom by #4 and started your Venom stand-alone series! You knew Sony wanted to keep it going for a while.)

Still pissed....
by How2fish
Jan 14th, 2008
01:59:40 PM
At the original handling of magantism Conan..in Howard's books Conan is the baddest of the bad and while he was a slave it was for about 20 mins not years like in the movie...also he was a cunning and clever as he was strong,powerful and the last person on the planet you wanted to have as an enemy...his raw personality with its combination of smarts..violence and unrestrained barbarism was the core of the character...Conan was no Knight on a white horse..he'd kill the knight and eat the horse if it got in his way....Arnie looked the part but they dumber him up and toned down any real story..still I'm hoping someone can handle the job of giving us a great Conan...not sold these are the guys.
Well, ruven...
by DocPazuzu
Jan 15th, 2008
01:09:25 AM
...to be honest, since I love the original Milius movie, I'd prefer alternative 3 if I can't get alternative 1.
doc,
by Lost Jarv
Jan 15th, 2008
03:10:59 AM
Pah. The Bastards are taking ages with mine. It's driving me mad.
Jarv
by DocPazuzu
Jan 15th, 2008
04:34:11 AM
I got mine through eBay (the BuyNow option). It was brand new and cost a total of £4.79 plus postage and took a week or so to get here.
cheers,
by Lost Jarv
Jan 15th, 2008
04:38:52 AM
If it doesn't turn up soon I'm going to do that.

BTW- have you seen the Stallone Q&A? there is a question from a Dr. Hffuhher (can't spell it and don't care) that stinks of Anchorite. I think his all consuming obsession with Islam is destroying his fragile little mind- he's really losing it.

also-
by Lost Jarv
Jan 15th, 2008
04:40:07 AM
have you got your Lep box set? mine came through just after I returned from Brazil.

And I'm having no luck getting hold of Pumpkinhead 3 & 4.

Yes...
by DocPazuzu
Jan 15th, 2008
05:39:19 AM
...that question does reek of anchorite. Most talkbackers who use that terminology and take that myopic stance aren't able to string a coherent sentence together. Anchorite may be a political troglodyte, but he can make his points coherently. The combination of these two things indicates that it was anchorite who wrote that question.

Nope, I haven't ordered the Big Bag o' Leppage yet. A bunch of other stuff got in the way, like buying a baby carriage, I'm afraid. It's at the top of my list right now, though. Let's hope we can find a decent TB to high(low)jack in the name of The Warwick soon!

buying a baby carriage?
by Lost Jarv
Jan 15th, 2008
05:54:49 AM
for shame. The Crock of Gore is far more important.
Don't I know it...
by DocPazuzu
Jan 15th, 2008
06:40:07 AM
ABking...
by Sledge Hammer
Jan 15th, 2008
06:40:31 AM
You of all people accusing anyone of having a 'limited brain' is probably the funniest thing I've ever read. Why don't you do us all a favour and slink off back into your cave and slobber over your endless supply of 80's bodybuilder porn, you pathetic little troglodite. I swear, you're the kind of pathetic little obsessive that almost makes me want to see Schwarzenegger and Stallone get hit by a bus. Meanwhile you can leave all that difficult talking and discussion to those who can actually string an intelligent sentence together without bursting a blood vessel. What a douche.

Oh, and ruven76, sorry man, I just can't see it. That doesn't mean it couldn't possibly work, but it's certainly not the direction I'd go, I'd far rather see either a more faithful R.E. Howard Conan or a conclusion to the Milius Conan, rather than an uneasy blending of the two. Still, with the right people you can make almost anything work, so who knows...

Sahara wasnt that bad...
by spideyed
Jan 15th, 2008
06:54:59 AM
Alot better than National Treasure, though as it didnt have the flag waving american sentiment to it, it was ignored by US audiences. IMO. Conan could be an interesting movie to revisit anyway.
sahara was woeful
by Lost Jarv
Jan 15th, 2008
06:57:21 AM
anyone pretending otherwise is lying.
ABking...
by DoctorWho?
Jan 15th, 2008
11:59:39 AM
When this many people are telling you you're 'drunk'...it's best to just sit down and shut up. All this talk of 'hybrid' storylines is a joke. Just reboot this fucker right! Get a director at the helm that will respect the source material(that includes Frazetta's vision too which is synonomous) the same way Peter Jackson honoured Tolkien's Rings trilogy. No brainer. Now will somebody tell me how get paragraph spacing on this TB?????
DocWho
by DocPazuzu
Jan 15th, 2008
01:55:11 PM
After typing a paragraph, jump down a space and type a "p" (minus the quotation marks) in between a "" (minus the quotation marks).
shit
by DocPazuzu
Jan 15th, 2008
01:55:27 PM
I mean...
by DocPazuzu
Jan 15th, 2008
01:56:23 PM
type it like this: < p > but without the spaces.
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