Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news.

More join up with GI JOE!

FIRST!!! YAY!!!! by captain_kirk	Dec 20th, 2007 01:10:36 AM
So who plays Sargeant Slaughter?
damn! in my 8 year tenure i've never made first! by Lt. Kaffee	Dec 20th, 2007 01:11:54 AM
go joe!
Heath Ledger is JOKER by BrightEyes	Dec 20th, 2007 01:16:26 AM
FUCK YEAH
what's so comfy about Stuart Beattie? by hktelemacher	Dec 20th, 2007 01:18:46 AM
As far as I can tell he didn't actually have too much to do with the movies his rep (and price tag) stems from - like Collateral (Darabont and Mann rewrote that) and Pirates. Jury's still kind of out.
Adawale FTW! by Sledge Hammer	Dec 20th, 2007 01:23:49 AM
That's the only piece of casting so far that actually excites me, though the rest of the cast so far is certainly interesting. Not sure if it's a good interesting or a bad interesting yet, but it's interesting all the same. This is a weird project though. I mean I have a certain level of faith in what Stuart Beattie is capable of, but must admit that director Summers has me worried, especially given how with each film he actually seems to get worse, not better. I mean Deep Rising was a hell of a lot of dumb fun, and follow up The Mummy was reasonably entertaining, but The Mummy Returns (with featured Adawale) was pretty poor, and Van Helsing was downright awful. Yep, Summers is the biggest danger here. And I still say that they should have hired Larry Hama as a script and character advisor. Still kinda curious to see how this develops, but my hopes aren't riding too high.
The Mummy Returns GI Joe Toys by Flaggg	Dec 20th, 2007 01:26:55 AM
This movie has fucking lame written all over it.
I HAVE A GI JONER by Kurzinski Valentine	Dec 20th, 2007 01:33:19 AM
Get it? SEE IT RHYMES WITH BONER.
I never cared much for G.I.Joe as a kid. by TattooedBillionaire	Dec 20th, 2007 01:41:19 AM
I'll still probably see this anyway, despite my faint dislike for the director.
Does HeavY Duty = Road block by Phategod1	Dec 20th, 2007 01:44:30 AM
If they change the name to road block or Stalker I'd be fine with his casting.
I Wonder..... by redfist	Dec 20th, 2007 01:51:18 AM
Will abyone ever get really shot in the movie...or will they fly out of the tank or plane when it explodes like on the show?
Ray Park by Phenom	Dec 20th, 2007 02:04:55 AM
Isn't he playing Snake Eyes?
BODY MASSAGE by whatyoufear	Dec 20th, 2007 02:06:01 AM
who wants a body massage?
Taghmaoui is now slumming by Mullah Omar	Dec 20th, 2007 02:23:10 AM
This guy has had a lot of great roles in films, but this will not be one of them. However, I'm glad that he can cash his fat check and live high on the hog for a bit before getting back to doing good films.
All grown up and made what? by sdaydream1	Dec 20th, 2007 02:24:58 AM
So let's see...no one in all of Hollywood can come up with anything that resembles an original idea. Kids who grew up playing with these toys are now in the power position and are greenlighting this stuff? What a crutch. It is very disappointing. The rape of my childhood continues.
Quint, it's Stephen Sommers, with an 'o' by BadMrWonka	Dec 20th, 2007 02:42:57 AM
although I admit, some random guy with a similar name could probably direct a better film...
although props for choosing 'farther' over 'further'!! by BadMrWonka	Dec 20th, 2007 02:44:21 AM
Quint's attention to obscure grammatical rules is what keeps me coming back!
Pork Chop Sandwiches? Man, those were gonna be good. by Stereotypical Evil Archer	Dec 20th, 2007 03:03:36 AM
people gonna die. people gonna kill. people gonna commit suicide after they kill Summers. No, this will happen. Some crazy fan will hate the movie that "actually" rapes his childhood and he'll shoot Summers in the face 3 times and then kill himself. Fuck, I hate predicting the future....too much death and bad movies.
Heavy duty? by Rufferto	Dec 20th, 2007 03:47:47 AM
Why put such a lame Joe in the movie? The hell? he was just a replacement Roadblock!
Storm shadow and Scarlett look the part by Rufferto	Dec 20th, 2007 03:54:23 AM
Dont know about the actors. I don't know much about Breaker as a Joe. I think he was the one who was always blowing bubble gum. One of the first Joes but not in the book not the toon.
in the book not the toon by Rufferto	Dec 20th, 2007 03:54:45 AM
pardon
It's gonna be hard... by Orionsangels	Dec 20th, 2007 04:16:04 AM
Not making this movie look like Street Fighter The Movie, with all those cheesy GIJOE costumes, that work well in animation form, but in real life look like those cosplay nerds.
SNAKE EYES by sonnyfern	Dec 20th, 2007 04:20:44 AM
Read the comics, watched the cartoons, was a great big GI*Joe nerd...I don't see this turning out good at all, I keep envisioning that damn Street Fighter movie. BUT...Ray Park as Snake Eyes? That's pretty badass I gotta say... but who's playing Storm Shadow?
Make TREK + JOE + JLA into one movie by Lenny8	Dec 20th, 2007 04:37:15 AM
And get it all over with in one shot. Then we can move on, and the studios will have gotten these shit storms out of their system. Guaranteed, ALL WILL SUCK.
no one dies in this movie by darwinwins	Dec 20th, 2007 04:41:00 AM
everyone has parachutes and preternatural jumping-out-of-vehicles-at-the -last-moment prowess.
Nice catch, Blanco Nino... by Catnip_Thieves	Dec 20th, 2007 04:49:05 AM
But too bad your ass got saaaaaacked. Will this movie be as good as those GI Joe public safety parodies that went viral few years back? The Cloverfield Hamster says: "No."
rastamanridedebuss-now rastama nsmokedeweednow by ironic_name	Dec 20th, 2007 05:14:07 AM
geeee eeyyyyyyeeeeee joooo oooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
your childhood was asking for it by ironic_name	Dec 20th, 2007 05:21:20 AM
blond men, with crewcuts! in the army!
maybe they'll fight in the street in gi joe by ironic_name	Dec 20th, 2007 05:26:41 AM
just like they were in a camp army led by a blonde general in streetfighter. first pitt is in the tree of life, after dropping out of the fountain, now this. in soviet russia, street fighter has street fights! gi joe is about army! Vadda country!
Stephen Summers by palewook	Dec 20th, 2007 05:37:16 AM
has done what?
My Little Pony by FILMFUNK	Dec 20th, 2007 05:40:49 AM
starring Sarah Jessica Parker
Pee Wee's playhouse and TMNT was more fantastic than GIJoe? by Stalkeye	Dec 20th, 2007 06:12:54 AM
F@g!
Okay, that settles it... by Anna Valerious	Dec 20th, 2007 06:30:00 AM
I'm cosplaying as Scarlett. Sienna can go get hit by a bus. Anyway, this is a guy who likes to work with people that aren't quite well known most of the time. But where is Kevin J. O'Connor?!
The producers are gluttons for punishment by Yeti	Dec 20th, 2007 06:30:03 AM
Sienna Miller and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje in the same film? Neither is known to be easy to work with. I pity the cast and crew.
Kevin J. O'Connor for Cobra Commander by Darth Busey	Dec 20th, 2007 06:32:42 AM
Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
My only worry... by BizarroJerry	Dec 20th, 2007 06:44:03 AM
Hollywood Reporter just says: "Akinnuoye-Agbaje will play an ordnance expert, and Taghmaoui the team's communications specialist". Are their actual character names revealed somewhere, as well, or is AICN just assuming based on the descriptions? Though HR also uses that global Brussels crap description again, which I think we've established has been changed. But my only worry is that these two casting decisions seem awfully "international" to me. Damn their reimaginings. Incidentally, the latest photo of Rachel Nichols on IMDB is dated just about a week ago and shows her hair is died red. I'd have to guess she did so to try out for the Scarlett role.
I want a POPPLES movie by Spandau Belly	Dec 20th, 2007 06:54:22 AM
Those things looked liked alien scrotum. I loved them.
You forgot to mention.. by Varakor	Dec 20th, 2007 06:58:07 AM
Shawn Wayans as Heavy Duty, so sayeth IGN. As a huge of G.I. Joe (when I was a kid) I want to love this film as it's been a long time coming. So I'll save any judgement until a trailer and pics come out. But I really want this to be a fun flick.
Shitty thing about the cartoon... by Cruel_Kingdom	Dec 20th, 2007 06:59:54 AM
No one ever died. Ever. Not in the entire fucking war. In the comic they died, sure, but not the cartoon. They would shoot a plane in the sky (with their ridiculous laser-looking guns) and there would be an explosion, then, about two seconds later, you would see the parachutes. It will be nice to hopefully see some real Joe/Cobra death.
Shitty thing about the animated movie... by Cruel_Kingdom	Dec 20th, 2007 07:00:44 AM
The whacked out decision to make Cobra Commander have a snake head beneath his helmet. WTF? "Cobra-la-la-la!"
No Battleforce 2000,Slaughter's Marauders or Tiger Force? by Stalkeye	Dec 20th, 2007 07:02:52 AM
I'm pretty psyched but still pissed off that the concept has somewhat changed. (An international strike force based in Brussels?)Hollywood needs to have some balls and call it Real American Hero, fuck this political correctness bullshit. Now the remaining question would be who's gonna be cast as Zartan or Destro?
More Hollyweird militaryporn gun fetish wubbish. by wowsah156	Dec 20th, 2007 07:04:39 AM
Again Hollyweird shows that it doesnt have anything to say about the world.Ever since the early 80's when Hollywood was hijacked by propagandists seeking to make war and violence photogenic (First Blood pt 2, Commando, Red Dawn, etc) Hollyweird has becom a propaganda machine presenting violence against foreginers has a fun thing to do. Whichever movie executve put this forward should be made to watch Wim Wenders "The End of violence until his eyes hurt.
And of course they'll be an upgrade of the costumes by Orionsangels	Dec 20th, 2007 07:08:59 AM
Because it would be too simple to follow the costumes from the cartoon series. So Cobra has reptile skin all over his costume. It'll be the new flames on optimus rant around here, plus cobra wears armor now. Destro has missles on his shoulders. Storm Shadow is red for no reason at all. Duke is black and played by Sam Jackson. It's important for the suits to fuck it up as much as possible, because everything remade needs an upgrade. It's the law! Screw staying true to what we all know and love. US! The fans who watched this beloved series as kids. We don't matter. What matters is selling action fucking figures and the Cobra helmet ala Optimus prime that changes your voice. Oh you know that's coming and you'll eat it up.
Gi Joe by Silent have	Dec 20th, 2007 07:13:35 AM
As long as they cast someone as Flint ill be there in the theaters. Best joe ever hands down.
Joe Dante covered the need for this film with.. by seppukudkurosawa	Dec 20th, 2007 07:21:16 AM
Small Soldiers.
Twenty to one by lovecraftian	Dec 20th, 2007 07:21:36 AM
Jackson goes with Andy Serkis for Cobra Commander.
Is SNAKE EYES white? by Demode	Dec 20th, 2007 07:22:41 AM
Just confused about that. I know he wears a mask all the time. Since him and Storm Shadow I believe are brothers, I'm curious what the deal is with that.
Ooooorrrr... by lovecraftian	Dec 20th, 2007 07:25:07 AM
Major Bludd
Aint it Two Days Old News by Abominable Snowcone	Dec 20th, 2007 07:28:20 AM
It's gonna be hard for anyone to pull off Scarlett. This is gonna sound really bad, but I just don't find an attractive female martial arts expert in an elite government military response group to be even remotely credible. I mean, she'd kick the shit out of me, and I'd be smiling with a boner the whole time.
Yes Snake Eyes is a white dude by Abominable Snowcone	Dec 20th, 2007 07:29:50 AM
I stopped reading the comics in the mid-80s, and even back then when they had him partially unmasked in some early issues, it was clear he was of the caucasian persuasion.
Well guess what?! by Anna Valerious	Dec 20th, 2007 07:30:57 AM
Adewale IS part of Sommers' stable, as he was the evil Lock-Nah in "The Mummy Returns"!
Breaker was a country boy from Tennessee... by tile_mcgillus	Dec 20th, 2007 07:30:59 AM
Why not make him middle eastern. I guess of all the characters to turn into the rainbow coalition character why not him? He is the communications expert and speaks a bunch of languages sooooooo... sure I buy it.
Demode, Snake Eyes is white- by sonnyfern	Dec 20th, 2007 07:32:49 AM
-but he got his face burned off in an explosion...which is AWESOME (when he was carrying Scarlett out of the wreck of the crashed helicopter, his head was actually on fire!) Him and Storm Shadow aren't brothers, they're sword brothers, which is even cooler, none of this craziness will make it into the movie I'm sure, but there was a hell of a back story in the comics.
Demode, you are definitely not an 80s child by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Dec 20th, 2007 07:35:38 AM
Listen up everyone. Snake Eyes is white. Storm Shadow is his "brother" in that he joined his family's clan. Stalker, Snake Eyes, and Storm Shadow were in Nam together. After Nam, Snake Eyes family was killed on his way to pick him up from the airport. The car was driven by Cobra Commander's brother. With no family left, Snake Eyes went to Storm Shadow, and began training in the family way, and became a ninja. They both have the Arishikage family tattoo on their arm. They are brothers in that respect.
Dogphart you insolent FOOL by lovecraftian	Dec 20th, 2007 07:36:15 AM
How dare you question the fearful greatness of Cobra?!!! What "Red" Threat has ever usurped positions of the highest leaders in our military as had the simluloids? What Nazi had the forsight and esoteric knowledge to create the Pyramid of Darkness? And what kamikazi pilot had the sheer, "unafraid-to-die" ferocity of the Phantom Brigade? NOT A ONE! SO BLOW!!!--And they used a laser to scar Cobra Commander's face in the moon.
I wonder if they are gonna have the typical GI Joe style battles by Rogue_Leader	Dec 20th, 2007 07:37:05 AM
By that I mean, have every weapon (no matter what it is) fire a blue or red laser.
sonnyfern by Abominable Snowcone	Dec 20th, 2007 07:39:51 AM
By the time I'd stopped reading the comics, they hadn't gotten to that backstory yet. When did that accident occur, relative to their joining GI Joe? Or did it occur early in their Joe years? Were Snake Eyes and Scarlett ever romantically involved, or was she gettin' boned by Hawk or Duke or what? Flint's girl was always Lady Jay, right? Or was Lady a leh-leh-lesbian? School me.
Rogue_Leader by Abominable Snowcone	Dec 20th, 2007 07:42:12 AM
Yeah, red and blue lasers...and nobody ever gets hit with them. Just a bunch of "Bee-yew! Bee-yew! Bee-yew!" And even Roadblock's big-ass M50 machine gun or whatever it was shoots red lasers. And the climactic final battle will be under water, in a tube worm colony, with everyone shooting red and blue lasers that go "bee-yew! bee-yew! bee-yew!"
I believe they lost the trights to the name "Roadblock". by Shermdawg	Dec 20th, 2007 07:43:36 AM
That's why the "Heavy Duty" codename was used in later versions of Joe.
Yes, I said they lost the "trights" to Roadblock. by Shermdawg	Dec 20th, 2007 07:44:28 AM

WILLEM DAFOE AS COBRA COMMANDER PLEASE!!! by Shermdawg	Dec 20th, 2007 07:45:07 AM
DO IT!!!
Oh, and... by Shermdawg	Dec 20th, 2007 07:46:19 AM
I kinda wish they got that smokin' redhead from Dexter for Scarlett. (But oh well.)
Best commercial (jingle) ever! by Stalkeye	Dec 20th, 2007 07:47:16 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =hQ_RQbSrb4c
Shermdog by Abominable Snowcone	Dec 20th, 2007 07:48:51 AM
Seriously? How the hell do you lose--or gain--rights to a name like that? It's a generic word.
Nevermind...I wikied Roadblock by Abominable Snowcone	Dec 20th, 2007 07:52:22 AM
and learned that Hasbro used the Roadblock toy mold to make another character called Double Blast, which apparently scared kids. The article suggests that this caused them to lose the rights, but I don't buy that explanation. Heavy Duty is Roadblock's cousin. The article also reminded me that Roadblock spoke only in rhyme. Get it? Having the most prominent black guy on the show speak in rhyme? Get it? Ha! Lame 1980s bid for cartoon hipness! Have the black guy talk in rap.
Abominable Snowcone by ironic_name	Dec 20th, 2007 07:55:21 AM
fuckin' cobra, man. snatched up the rights AND the TRIGHTS!
Indiana Jones Crystal Skull Movie Spoilers by kenichi tanaka	Dec 20th, 2007 07:58:00 AM
* Indy, played once again by Harrison Ford, and the Soviet army are both searching for a priceless skull made of crystal in the jungles of South America. * The Russians take Indy hostage and then blackmail him by threatening to kill his ex-girlfriend and mother of his son, Marion Ravenwood, portrayed by Karen Allen. Cast as the son is Shia LaBeouf. * Cate Blanchett plays an evil Russian who grills Indy. "I saw Harrison Ford strapped to a chair and being interrogated," Nelson told the paper.
sinaed O'Connor for Cobra Commander by ironic_name	Dec 20th, 2007 07:58:04 AM
COBRALALLAALLALALALALLALALALLA LALALA!
Shermdawg... by lovecraftian	Dec 20th, 2007 07:58:53 AM
You are absolutely spot on. That would've been cool to have Jennifer "Emily Rose" Carpenter play her. But they should've also cast someone else from Dexter... Jaime Murray, who played this season's most intriguing female, Lila as the Baroness.
Sgt. Slaughter by Dr. Stanley Goodspeed	Dec 20th, 2007 07:58:57 AM
played by... well either himself, so we'd end up with a fat old guy, or have Christopher Meloni grow a wicked moustache.
kenichi tanaka by ironic_name	Dec 20th, 2007 07:59:29 AM
two weeks ago called, it wants it's scoop back.
The Baroness... by That 70s Venom	Dec 20th, 2007 08:08:11 AM
... is clearly a role meant for Heidi Klum, not Sienna Miller.
lindze for baroness by ironic_name	Dec 20th, 2007 08:09:09 AM

Destro casting by Ghoti	Dec 20th, 2007 08:10:09 AM
I'd be happy to take on the task: http://blogs.sfweekly.com/thes nitch/Destro.jpg
Mr. Eko by kafka07	Dec 20th, 2007 08:13:11 AM
the fact that this guy, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, will be Heavy Duty (whoever the fuck character that is), is the only worthy news and should have been your headline. If they don't let him play Heavy Duty all dark and ominous like he did Adebisi then I won't see the movie. And they should have a waterboarding/rendition type scene as well, with a little prison rape thrown in to lively things up and make it more realistic.
"...And knowing is half the battle!" by TheGhostWhoLurks	Dec 20th, 2007 08:15:34 AM
This phrase had BETTER be said in the movie, or I'm asking for a refund.
Rosa Sanchez for Baroness by Abominable Snowcone	Dec 20th, 2007 08:16:05 AM
Here's your Baroness: http://tinyurl.com/27pccj
Action Force by palewook	Dec 20th, 2007 08:22:36 AM
is what GI Joe was called in most of Europe during the 80s..
Holy shit, man... by Phimseto	Dec 20th, 2007 08:31:40 AM
This whole "international force" thing really pisses me off. It's a slap in the face to the "GI Joe" origin (and look it up if you don't know what I'm talking about) and talking polar bears and ringwraiths are more likely in this world than any kind of competent Brussels-lead international force.
Interesting History by Aquatarkusman	Dec 20th, 2007 08:32:29 AM
Why was Joe still tearing into nips and krauts in the 60s? I'm pretty sure they were our allies by then. And Nicole Kidman needs to play the Baroness. She's done a red-headed Russkie before, right? Birthday Girl?
F-Rod from grindhouse as SHIPWRECK by JeanLuc Dickhard	Dec 20th, 2007 08:33:27 AM
im just saying
The whole movie should be like... by cornloaf	Dec 20th, 2007 08:36:17 AM
Fensler Films! Porkchop Sandwiches! Oh shit, get the fuck out of here! What are you doing? Go, get the fuck out of here, you stupid idiots! Fuck, we're all dead!
This is gonna be a bigger piece of shit than Street Fighter by miss_marples	Dec 20th, 2007 08:37:45 AM
...Quint is fat.
Fensler by Green Arrow	Dec 20th, 2007 08:47:16 AM
"Give him the stick....Don't give him the stick!!!" Fucking hilarious. Mmmmm. Monica Belluci.
Who's playing Destro? by KillDozer	Dec 20th, 2007 08:50:40 AM
That's the question whose answer will get me in the theater or not. Also, if Clutch is in the movie he better still call the women "chicks"...
Hey, Wowsah... by BizarroJerry	Dec 20th, 2007 08:52:31 AM
"presenting violence against foreginers has a fun thing to do". I know I'm mmissing your point, but for the record, Cobra is not aligned with any country, and Cobra Commander is an American. And -- as far as the comics are concerned -- Cobra was based in America for much of the time.
There was some serious violence . . . by Nice Marmot	Dec 20th, 2007 08:54:22 AM
. . . in the cartoon. I distinctly remember a Cobra soldier hit a mountain in a hang glider, hung there for a second, then fell. You can only imagine the carnage when he landed. I also remember a Cobra soldier was shot in the arm. He clutched his wound in pain and I bet it hurt really bad.
Roadblock's name... by BizarroJerry	Dec 20th, 2007 08:54:31 AM
Apparently, in the toyline, Hasbro lost the rights to the Roadblock name. But the name can still be used for the comic book character. BUT, they of course have to be concerned about action figures that go with the movie.
Wayans by jsm1978	Dec 20th, 2007 09:03:19 AM
I'd read the Wayans thing too, but I thought it was supposed to be Marlon Wayans playing Heavy Duty. This sounds like a much better choice, if it be true.
But The US Are The Bad Guys Now by LaserPants	Dec 20th, 2007 09:11:37 AM
Haven't you heard? Pretty much the only people who see us as the good guys are the Bush Family's Oil Baron partners, and the sucker / patsy religious freak middle american types who voted against their own self-interest in order to perpetuate the erroneous claim that somehow the US has some kind of moral superiority owing to the endless chanting of the brand name Jeebus. In short, the only way to do this movie is as a satire of fascism ala STARSHIP TROOPERS. Paul Verhoven and Ed Neumeier should hook up to make it. Anything else will just be more propaganda / shit.
All joking aside, please don't make this movie by Chutch	Dec 20th, 2007 09:33:09 AM
this is a worse idea than JLA, which is already a horrible idea. just because transformers did well doesn't mean this total shipwreck would ever work.
Take your "Bow to the UN" GI Joe and shove it... by uss cygnus	Dec 20th, 2007 09:38:16 AM
What part of a real AMERICAN hero fails to compute with these assholes?
Good ol' GI Joe... by Ghostball	Dec 20th, 2007 09:54:37 AM
still fighting for our TRIGHTS after all these years...
Mark Hamil for voice of Cobra Commander by Samuel Fulmer	Dec 20th, 2007 09:55:30 AM
Yep. And with this Wayons news, expect another "minstrel character" in a big budget action movie based on an old toy line.
What the fuck are you kids doing on my fucking lake? by Garbageman33	Dec 20th, 2007 09:56:04 AM
I'm sorry, I can't even hear the words G.I. Joe comics anymore without laughing. Those things are forever tainted (in a good way). I think they should slip some nod to that into the movie. Like maybe Adebisi could be making pork chop sandwiches.
Jeff Foxworthy for Wild Bill by Samuel Fulmer	Dec 20th, 2007 09:57:59 AM
Russel Crowe as Zartan and John Travolta in drag as Zarana.
Duke was supposed to die in the GI:JOE movie... by Tacom	Dec 20th, 2007 10:02:19 AM
but because kids were so upset about Optimus Prime dying in the TRANSFORMERS movie, they had him be in a coma instead. Node32774, I think the "Bayou Douche" you're referring to was Zartan. I never got why the Dreadnoks were from the swamps in the US but had Cockney accents! I liked the actress they have as Scarlett when she was on the last season of AIias, so I'm happy about that casting.
Gotta question AICN writer's childhoods by Samuel Fulmer	Dec 20th, 2007 10:05:00 AM
I guess either you guys were too old or too young when both Transformers and G.I. Joe came out. These were the biggest kids shows/toys of the 80's, yet the writers on this sight seem to have never really watched or got into these. Oddly they spent their childhoods with Pee Wee??? I watched Pee Wee too, but there's no way I would've thought Pee Wee was better. But I guess it's all the age thing. The writers must either be close to or at 40, or under 24, because if you are now in the 25-33 age bracket, you were watching G.I. Joe or Transformers back in the 80's.
JUST CALL HIM ROADBLOCK!! by fractureJonze	Dec 20th, 2007 10:05:03 AM
If they wanna base it off of that lame ass playskool Sigma Six crap, then count me out.
G.I. Joe the Movie makes Transfomers by Samuel Fulmer	Dec 20th, 2007 10:06:35 AM
the Movie look like a masterpiece. Talk about burying a franchise. Probably the cartoon equivalent of Batman & Robin.
Comics by BLWiseass	Dec 20th, 2007 10:13:36 AM
where can one find collections of the old GI Joe comics without having to donate a kidney
The cartoon movie... by Ghostball	Dec 20th, 2007 10:19:36 AM
...was quite easily the worst cartoon and/or movie I've personally ever seen - it made Batman and Robin look hardcore.
Forced diversity always looks stupid by Abominable Snowcone	Dec 20th, 2007 10:19:57 AM
It's like, "Oh look, we've got the bag with assorted flavors and colors!" Meh! Give me Michael Beihn as Flint.
Get ready to come! by Abominable Snowcone	Dec 20th, 2007 10:29:04 AM
http://tinyurl.com/ywroeb
Two Words: by parallax_r	Dec 20th, 2007 10:45:45 AM
BODY MASSAGE.
body massage by supermarch	Dec 20th, 2007 10:54:00 AM
im just a body massage machine
RE: Gotta question AICN writer's childhoods by IAmLegolas	Dec 20th, 2007 10:57:07 AM
great post, Samuel Fulmer.
Love how we're using 80's cartoons as film ideas... by Bong	Dec 20th, 2007 10:59:28 AM
I guess if you're bereft of any creative thought what better thing to do than look to 20 year old cartoons made for kids...
Street Fighter by calnorso	Dec 20th, 2007 11:03:47 AM
This has Street Fighter written ALL over it. This is gonna SUCK big time, Sommers has the worst choice of costume design out there, and he's goona cram it with too much stuff, like I said it'll be Street Fighter all over again
mega-force by FalconJones	Dec 20th, 2007 11:06:38 AM
didnt they already make this as 'mega-force' back in the day? we all know this movie will suck. and knowing is half the battle.
I'd like it to be realistic by Abominable Snowcone	Dec 20th, 2007 11:08:43 AM
But you can only get so "real" when your antagonist is a guy in a blue hood named Cobra Commander, who hangs around with a metalheaded guy named Destro. And you shoot guns that have lasers instead of bullets and go, "bee-yew bee-yew bee-yew!"
the hard part about casting by Bloo	Dec 20th, 2007 11:13:06 AM
is that everyone has their favorite Joes. Some like Duke, others Flint, some like Roadblock/Heavy Duty other Gung Ho, Beach Head or Stalker. My two favorites were Shipwreck and Wild Bill (who should be played by Matthew McChoughy in full Reign of Fire or whatever that Dragon movie he did with Bale was called mode), so naturally I'll be disappointed if I don't see them on the screen. and you know the more I think about it, the less the "UN" type force bothers me less and less because Cobra was yes usually based out of America or their weird Cobra Island but they always seemed intent on World domination. as for casting only Mr Eko is the only one I'm familar with but I think it's a great choice. As I mentioned MM as Wild Bill, Behin as Flint is someone I would never have thought of, but wouldn't that screw up the dynamics, it looks like they are going younger one this (probably for the sequels) and Behin is much older which would obviously make flint older then Duke...maybe Behin as Duke?
Will the end credits have Linkin Park too??? by calnorso	Dec 20th, 2007 11:14:21 AM

Chris Tucker as Destro by ChrisTuckersOnlyFan	Dec 20th, 2007 11:15:43 AM
..would be the best choice.
Michael Biehn needs to be in this... by Sledge Hammer	Dec 20th, 2007 11:33:43 AM
...I mean who plays "modern military guy" better than the Biehn. And just for a bit of the old school military man throw in Tom Berenger as well.
I loved Transformers and GI JOE by HEADGEEK	Dec 20th, 2007 11:34:11 AM
I watched them! A lot! And DUNGEONS & DRAGONS and SPIDER-MAN & HIS AMAZING FRIENDS & lots of others.
for anyone not getting the 'body massage' and 'rastaman' referen by smackfu	Dec 20th, 2007 11:35:50 AM
do a youtube search for 'fensler joe'
I wanna see Kwinn and Dr. Venom! by durhay	Dec 20th, 2007 11:37:56 AM
nm
GI:JOE movie Statue of Liberty intro was awesome, the rest sucke by Tacom	Dec 20th, 2007 11:42:41 AM
That opening three minutes of the Joes battling Cobra around the Statue of Liberty was the best but the movie that came after sucked balls. It's like Rocky V. The opening credits with Rocky fighting Drago with Bill Conti's music instead of the Rocky IV synth stuff was great, but the rest of Rocky V was a huge letdown.
The Nostalgia-vanity flicks HAVE TO END! by ZeroCorpse	Dec 20th, 2007 11:43:30 AM
I liked G.I. Joe. I'm thirty-six years old, and it was popular when I was a younger person. It's fun seeing the old characters every once in a while, to remember what I liked when I was a kid. HOWEVER, I have zero interest in watching these old-ass Marvel/Hasbro interpretations of characters being re-interpreted as live-action soldiers in a movie that will likely be forced into a PG or PG-13 rating in some effort to make the new line of toys popular with today's kids. I mean-- We all know that this will be a 90-minute advert, don't we? Stop with the nostalgia thing. I mean it! Stop putting these old-ass cartoons on your t-shirts, or making movies out of them. ESPECIALLY if you weren't even around when they were on in the first place! The 80s are over and depressing as it may be, they're never coming back! DEAL WITH IT. I have. STOP USING NOSTALGIA TO SELL SHIT.
I remember lamenting as a kid that the villains... by rbatty024	Dec 20th, 2007 12:15:25 PM
always looked cooler than the good guys. It's true. It thought the Stormtroopers looked awesome as well. It's a wonder I didn't turn out to be a little fascists.
ZeroCorpse by systemsbroom	Dec 20th, 2007 12:21:57 PM
The reason studios are turning out stuff from the 1980s is because that way, a lot of the heavy lifting of marketing the movie is already done for them. Makes promotion a lot cheaper, and betters the odds on the $100 million gamble that is making a major movie. Why spend an insane amount of money on a new story that nobody's heard about (and might not like at all) when you can spend a less-insane amount of money on an old story your target audience already knows and more likely than not has fond memories of?
rbatty024 by systemsbroom	Dec 20th, 2007 12:25:52 PM
Agreed. The villains were far cooler than the good guys. Metal faces, androids, human chameleons who for some reason hate sunlight, psychic twins, and a shirtless mad scientist who nonetheless wears both a cape AND metal suspenders? Compare that to what the Joes had: a cowboy, a sailor, a dumb guy with a bazooka (who was named "bazooka"). The Joes were a team of character actors; Cobra was a league of freaks. No comparison.
testricals by Dr. Stanley Goodspeed	Dec 20th, 2007 12:32:23 PM
i almost punched a baby after reading that.
G.I. Joe Teaser Trailer by IAmLegolas	Dec 20th, 2007 12:33:07 PM
http://tinyurl.com/38hj5p
Yeaahh... by lovecraftian	Dec 20th, 2007 12:37:44 PM
That Youtube thing was fucktarded and I want the few seconds I wasted of my life watching that back.
Rachel Nichols from ESPN by Heckles	Dec 20th, 2007 12:52:27 PM
She would be a better Scarlett. Cute chick, long red hair, sounds good to me.
Well said, ZeroCorpse by Abominable Snowcone	Dec 20th, 2007 12:54:39 PM
Like Harry, I watched Joe and the Transformers cartoons on TV when I got home from school. Not all the time, but most, especially when they had those four-part specials, like when Joe had to battle Cobra all over the world to stop them from assembling the DNA parts to make Serpentor. I read the comic from like 82-84. I was at that age where it was just barely uncool to be playing with the toys. You could still watch the cartoon at home without anyone knowing, but you didn't want your friends coming over, and you've got a room full of Joe figures and you're 13. I think ZeroCorpse is correct when he says that all the things people our age want to see in a Joe movie will be distilled to win a PG, or at best PG-13 rating that appeals to tweenies. You'd think after 911 people, even kids, would not accept a portrayal of a supposed-super elite fighting military force that uses bee-yew bee-yew lasers instead of fuckin' live rounds, and even then nobody ever hits and kills their target. Then again, I suppose the movie could work THAT way, but only if it were a joke. Like Hot Shots.
Need a "silent Issue" style chase w/ Snake and Stormy by nerosday	Dec 20th, 2007 12:54:51 PM
Put that in and I'm there, chasing after eachother all through NYC throwing statr and swords and uzi blazing, 5 minutes of that and it'll make that movie. God that was a great issue.
I am Legalos by Abominable Snowcone	Dec 20th, 2007 12:58:35 PM
That's hilarious. But some of the choreography of the fighting actually SHOULD look that way in the movie. Naturally, my favorite part was the chicks unzipping. The song was maximus crappus, tho.
to be honest by nerosday	Dec 20th, 2007 01:03:18 PM
I was a GI Joe freak as a kid, to this day I still cruise E-Bay for a USS Flagg under $500, don't know where I'd put the bitch, but I still hope. Lets be honest, if they follow the comics this could be a pretty decent thing. If they go campy/cartoony... meh. I know its going to have to be PG-13 but if they can make a Die Hard PG-13, and then there's hope. Remember the sensors don't care about horrible unspeakable violence, just so long as no one says "fuck" while commiting it. Now you know. And knowing is half the battle. Keep hope alive.
Cobra Commander's Day Off by slone13	Dec 20th, 2007 01:04:26 PM
Way better than the movie can ever hope to be: http://tinyurl.com/246bab
Wow! A lot of hype for potential real disaster! by HellKing	Dec 20th, 2007 01:04:42 PM
I loved watching the show when I was a kid but really a live action version could potentially look really cheesy. It's going to be aimed at kids today not you "adults" that watched it as a kid. Yeah if they made it really violent for those that watched it as a kid, that would be different but they're marketing this for today's kids. It's not like Transformers where you can violently destroy robots all you want.
Worst comes to Worst, people will still love Snake-eyes... Spino by nerosday	Dec 20th, 2007 01:05:33 PM

Mr. Eko by SlickyVonBoner	Dec 20th, 2007 01:07:31 PM
..rocks. I'd watch him in anything. CAn't pernounce or spell his name worth a shit though. Mr. Eko is much easier.
Nerosday by Abominable Snowcone	Dec 20th, 2007 01:07:39 PM
This was the first (and only) 'silent issue' Joe comic that I recall having before I stopped collecting. It was terrific. Just a simple but cool story, great art and no words mucking it up. http://tinyurl.com/2t9axr
A real international joke by jamawalk	Dec 20th, 2007 01:14:36 PM
the only way this film won't be the worst movie of all time is if Justice League actually ends up making it to theaters in which case GiJoe will have to settle for number two. Which is no doubt fine, as it is going to be a steaming big pile of the same. They're not an American Team? WTF? Roadblock's brother Heavy Duty? Come on. Come ON! Poop Sandwich.
true story re: my GI Joe collection by Bloo	Dec 20th, 2007 01:16:05 PM
my mother still has some of my old 80's GI Joes, back sometime when I was a kid I thought it would be cool to hang some of my GI Joes from the Christmas tree since I always got GI Joes for Chirstmas my mom kept up tht tradition and to this day we have at least one GI Joe (I think it's one of the retarded ones like Computer Hacker Joe or something) hanging from the Christmas tree, I'll try and get a picture of it and post it on the next Joe TB, but yeah
Said Taghmaoui by mullymt	Dec 20th, 2007 01:19:06 PM
was great in Three Kings.
That as the very one I was thinking of Snowcone! by nerosday	Dec 20th, 2007 01:24:04 PM
Lol, I think I may be cobbling the story with another issue that Had Snake being kicked off and L-Train by Storm Shadow on the cover. Man, good look-up.
true story by BigTexas42	Dec 20th, 2007 01:29:05 PM
when I was a wee lad, back during the second Reagan administration, I buried my Destro action figure in the sandbox at my parents house and almost completely forgot about it. this past summer, my 3-year-old son dug it up. Damn. I don't have a point, just thought it was neat joe-related story.
Oh man, I hope they... by fractureJonze	Dec 20th, 2007 01:31:03 PM
...put a damn Nickelback song in there somewhere. And while their at it they can get Jessica Alba to play Duke. Idiots.
yep, this one. by nerosday	Dec 20th, 2007 01:34:14 PM
http://www.yojoe.com/comics/jo e/joe27.shtml
Don't get your hopes up. by rbatty024	Dec 20th, 2007 01:41:32 PM
This is going to suck just like all the other nostalgia retreads. I can hear the hope in your voice, and I just want to make it easy on you by reminding you that they're going to have lines like "we're the real American heroes, you're the terrorist zeroes" and then GI Joe will take a piss on Cobra Commander's head or something, because, hey, it worked in Transformers. The only way this film will work is if you manage to sneak a flask of vodka into the theater.
Stephen Sommers? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! by WesReviews	Dec 20th, 2007 01:42:48 PM
This must have slipped by under the radar, but it's HORRIBLE NEWS. :( Major buzzkill for this project.
I liked this movie when it was called... by letsfightinglove	Dec 20th, 2007 01:55:34 PM
TEAM AMERICA COLON WORLD POLICE
Roablock rights... by Kthakkar	Dec 20th, 2007 02:03:53 PM
Considering that Hasbro currently has "Roadblock" on the shelves of your local Target right now (unless the 25th Anniversary Toys are sold out in your town too... darn it!) I would think they should still have sufficient rights to that charicters name.
don't play with them, they'll never heal by nerosday	Dec 20th, 2007 02:10:02 PM
No I don't play with them, but I still have them. My home office has alot of comics and toy stuff new and old. My son, (six yrs) has a ball with them though. Kind of fun to see your kids play with things you had a ball with as a kid. The hard part ir repainting the skuffs and replacing the "o-rings," let's face it they are 25 yr old toys, some of them.
Sienna Miller as Baroness? WTF?! by finky089	Dec 20th, 2007 02:14:14 PM
That better be JUST a rumor. Could they pick anyone less fitting? Hell, give me the Bates before her! (Actually, that could be quite an interesting take on Baroness.)
durhay, Kwinn and Dr. Venom are both dead by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Dec 20th, 2007 02:14:57 PM
Died in the same issue. Funny how I never got the joke Kwinn the Eskimo, until I got older. Inside joke - one of the artists or editors was in a bar band called the K-otics. Clutch was in an issue wearing a K-otics world tour shirt. Or maybe it was Rock N Roll. If Clutch still calls girls chicks, then he must be played by Jack Black. I mean he sits on his butt and drives so that would explain the weight.
Slone13 - CC's Day Off by finky089	Dec 20th, 2007 02:16:15 PM
I love those. Cobraaaaaaaaaa!
Billy Zane for Nemesis Enforcer! by finky089	Dec 20th, 2007 02:18:49 PM
that is all
Damn this is a chummy talkback by nerosday	Dec 20th, 2007 02:28:04 PM
Quick someone start calling people cock knockers and 'tards, threatening to hit them in the face so hard it'll cause cancer, something! I don't feel like I'm on AICN. But seriously this is nice. Like a peach, mango, vodka, and valium smoothie with a twist of denial.
Screw you nerosday by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Dec 20th, 2007 02:40:26 PM
like that?
Yeah, it's like the anti I Am Legend talkback by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Dec 20th, 2007 02:41:33 PM
C'mon people now, smile on your brother......
Yo Joe! by Abominable Snowcone	Dec 20th, 2007 02:45:50 PM
Fuck yeah! Comin' your way to save the motherfuckin' day now! Terrorist, your game is through...cuz now you'll have to answer too...Yo Joe! So lick my butt, and suck on my balls!
Nerosday by Abominable Snowcone	Dec 20th, 2007 02:48:12 PM
Cocknockers! And while I'm at it, go to hell, ClericBinks! You both probably liked The Rock and the first AvP and have Jar Jar posters on your walls. Is that better?
and screw you too binks!... ahhh home by nerosday	Dec 20th, 2007 02:49:40 PM
no really, I love you man.
oh yeah... Damn you Michael Bay! Ruined my childhood! by nerosday	Dec 20th, 2007 02:52:10 PM

M-o-M, it's not the toys or tv show by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Dec 20th, 2007 02:53:09 PM
that we still love, although they bring back memories, but it's the comics. The comics were great because well for one people actually died. I mean when DC and Marvel were still just about the only choices we rarely had deaths in comics. Does it translate to the graphic novels of today, or course not, and I think a lot of people will agree they got over ninjafied, but all in all the comics were great, adding in the new Hasbro toys aside. The silent castle comic is classic. I wish I still had that one. And that was issue, what 23, of a comic that went to over a hundred issues. Okay, towards the end it was 80 percent Snake Eyes centered, but I think that was a good thing. Think back of the story and art of issue 23. Had anything like that ever been done before? If so I'm not aware of it. Still playing with toys and watching the show, okay I'll say that's gayish, but this is still a fanboy site, and we love the comics.
Node32774, hey it happened in the comics by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Dec 20th, 2007 02:54:29 PM
why not? Oh yeah, two words: Micael Bay. Don't let him near Joe.
Forced diversity sucks by Abominable Snowcone	Dec 20th, 2007 02:54:39 PM
It's GI Joe. Not GI Juan. If characters were hispanic in the comic, then make 'em hispanic. If they weren't, then leave them as they were. GI Joe had enough multi-ethnicity on its own. Whites, blacks, indians, orientals, eskimos, etc. And they all had laser guns that went BEE-YEW BEE-YEW BEE-YEW!!!
Abominable Snowcone, it's actually a by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Dec 20th, 2007 02:56:56 PM
Scrappy Doo poster.
"Said! Fuck The Police" - LA HAINE by Harry Weinstein	Dec 20th, 2007 03:02:50 PM
KITE RUNNER?!? I got your KITE RUNNER right here, he was fucking SAID in LA HAINE with Vincent Cassel and he got to torture Marky Mark in THREE KINGS. What's up with GI JOE, of all things, getting such an intriguing cast?
Cool by maichi	Dec 20th, 2007 03:19:35 PM
Hey, that's cool. marleen@paradiso.be
OK if their going with Miller as Baroness... by nerosday	Dec 20th, 2007 03:25:54 PM
They need to have Destro be an older regal guy, and her be the naive radical that idolizes him and their relationship needs to have an edge of May/December creepiness to it. Just enough to make you see her gleefully tongue the metal mask and go.... ew. And God help me I think of a live-action Destro and I see the Masked Klytus from the Flash Gordon movie. see: http://www.whiterose.org/pete/ blog/images/klytus.jpg not saying I like that vision, but I see it
someone forgot to take their P.C. pill this morning by nerosday	Dec 20th, 2007 03:30:04 PM

The comics vs the show by waylayer	Dec 20th, 2007 03:34:26 PM
It all depends on what you were looking for. As a child growing up in a less than comforting family environment, the escapism of Shipwreck, Quick Kick, Alpine, and the gang is what I enjoyed. The first G.I. Joe comic I ever picked up had Doc getting shot in the face and Quick Kick dying in a tank explosion...a stark difference to say the least. When you have parents screaming and smacking you around, that's not usually the type of entertainment you turn to.
Laurence Fishburne as DESTRO!!! by Nick Michalak	Dec 20th, 2007 03:37:41 PM
Plain and simple, the man can command the screen, and really bring to life someone as imposing as Destro. While the voice won't be as deep, the performance will be worth a few higher octaves.
Snowcone likes to use the non-word "meh"... by slone13	Dec 20th, 2007 03:40:40 PM
...like it was going out of style. (Which it has.) This might help explain his also dated use of the word "orientals". (Notice I used "explain" and not "excuse".)Though perhaps he was talking about rugs...
Journal of a New COBRA Recruit... by KillDozer	Dec 20th, 2007 03:42:00 PM
http://tinyurl.com/yv5sc
gi joe international thing... by robosushi	Dec 20th, 2007 03:56:49 PM
is really going to ruin it for me, and trust me, Im not the most gung ho american myself. "look at all their different color hats" whats next making Captain America, Captain International? Or killing him? oh shit
ps by robosushi	Dec 20th, 2007 04:00:06 PM
make it in the us, and so people internationally dont get too upset, make cobra a terrorist organization that bases itself in the us... like in the fake town of springfield!? but you know they'll just make them middle eastern or something
Where are they filming GI JOE??? by Demode	Dec 20th, 2007 04:11:15 PM
Europe? Canada? LA? Australia? Why has nothing been said yet about where they are filming this thing?
Sarah Jessica Parker as Junkyard.... by ChrisTuckersOnlyFan	Dec 20th, 2007 04:21:46 PM
would be good casting.
2 midgets by palpatinefuckedmydog	Dec 20th, 2007 04:24:52 PM
playing Storm shadow and Snake eyes....it'll be a short fight. HAH!
For the Joes' comic versions... by BizarroJerry	Dec 20th, 2007 04:31:33 PM
Check out this site: http://tinyurl.com/37xu6v
will Billy be in it? by sith_rising	Dec 20th, 2007 05:09:53 PM
he was my favorite character from the comics. Cobra Commander's fucked up son, taken in and trained to be a ninja by the one and only Storm Shadow. this movie will suck, by the way.
Snake Eyes and Scarlett are the only must-have characters. by CreasyBear	Dec 20th, 2007 06:03:27 PM
I ate that shit up as a kid, but let's face it, all the other G.I. Joe guys were pretty interchangeable. You could pick and choose from the rest of the roster without any real problem.
my thoughts on Shiwreck casting by Bloo	Dec 20th, 2007 06:14:45 PM
ok this has been bothering me all day but I think I've found the perfect Shipwreck... go the Robert Rodriguez method and hire a big name actor for little money to work like a week, go with Vince Vaghn as Shipwreck
Creasy by Bloo	Dec 20th, 2007 06:18:48 PM
I'm assuming you mena the only Joes, because you can't have a Joe movie without Cobra Commander, Destro, and Baronness
G.I. Joe vs. The Volcano by Heckles	Dec 20th, 2007 06:18:52 PM
Best-idea-ever.
Stephen fuckin' Summers? by thegreatwhatzit	Dec 20th, 2007 06:40:52 PM
Game over, this is really gonna blow. I've heard that Joe will be more continental than all-American (mollifying European exhibitors)--I hate compromises of this sort.
Hmm by xsi kal	Dec 20th, 2007 06:52:29 PM
Not a fan of Sienna as Baroness... please go back to the casting board, and find a brunette with actual curves. Hell, half the cosplayers out there dressing up as baroness would be better choices; they'd at least look the part, and neither sienna nor the cosplayers can act worth a damn.
Flames on Snake Eyes by Itto Ogami loses Daigoro	Dec 20th, 2007 07:32:54 PM
Do it 'cause this can't really get any worse. Can it?
I would like this movie to be good... by ebonic_plague	Dec 20th, 2007 07:39:25 PM
...but I can't imagine a possibility in which this turns out to be anything but weak propaganda bullshit. Hopefully, by saying that, I will jinx it into being actually watchable. You know what though, fuck GI Joe, if they're remaking every 80's cartoon into a movie, somebody needs to stop fucking around and greenlight a THUNDARR THE BARBARIAN movie! My life will be incomplete until the time when I can see a live-action Ookla the Mok on the big screen.
Also... by ebonic_plague	Dec 20th, 2007 07:42:13 PM
...fuck that One Missed Call ad and it's Corinthian wannabe with an excess of photoshopped nostril! No sir I don't like it!
The Ol' Switcharoo by chaddyd	Dec 20th, 2007 08:16:41 PM
did anybody else unscrew the backs of the action figures (in the 80's) and switch the heads? i did that shit on destro and sgt. slaughter and told everybody it was a special edition, 'roided out destro you could only order with 15 upc symbols from Sears. i sold that shit for like $20 bucks to some loser down the block. I repeated that for 2 years with duke/roadblock, shipwreck/quickick, cobra/commander and zartan. i basically paid my way through grad school with that shit. swear to god, better than steppin on a dime bag of crack rock and selling it to the kids in the hood. And i would always chastise the kids for not being on top of the special figures you can only order from sears. God I love me.
Kurt Russel from The Thing as Snowjob by Orionsangels	Dec 20th, 2007 08:31:13 PM

My GIJOE Collection or what's left of it. by Orionsangels	Dec 20th, 2007 08:58:07 PM
I had everything from GIJOE in the 80's. I started collecting around 82. Every vehicle, every action figure. The Headquarters. I dunno, I just decided one day. I'm gonna make it my mission to buy everything from GIJOE! I'm 35 now and I went through my closet recently and found what's left of My Gijoe collection. Sniff http://tinyurl.com/32gbwd
Worthington as Duke by alpha	Dec 20th, 2007 09:03:20 PM
Most people haven't seen much of his work so they wont know who he is but if you watch something like the recent version of Macbeth he was in (updated as a crime drama) you'll realise why he got the Avatar job and why he really is a great choice.
HANA's SERPENTOR by vershandluster	Dec 20th, 2007 09:46:13 PM
Give us Larry Hana's serpentor, not cobra commander!
Paul Blackthorne for DESTRO and RECAST Baroness!! by Drath	Dec 20th, 2007 09:57:35 PM
Sienna Miller?! Catherine Zeta Jones is the Baroness you fucking nitwits! And for God's sake, Julianne Moore is Scarlett and Robert Patrick is Duke. If they do not get Michael York to play Tamox and Xamot, and Cillian Murphy to play Zartan then this is just not happening.
Um, Drath... by BizarroJerry	Dec 20th, 2007 10:37:34 PM
While I never want these kinda movies to star a bunch of youngsters, but Duke and Scarlett shouldn't be nearly 50 years old. And Michael York's what? 60?
Said Taghmaoui is cool. by veebeeyes	Dec 20th, 2007 10:41:52 PM
Remember in Three Kings where he captured Mark Wahlberg? And then you know that Mark Wahlberg is in some serious shit. And then Said walks in the room and I'm like, "oh no!" But here's the thing. I was expecting him to just start fucking Marky Mark up. But instead he walks in all cool and calm, looks Mark Wahlberg in the eyes all serious like, and says "What is the problem with Michael Jackson?" I never imagined that that question could ever be so ominous, but Said Taghmaoui TOTALLY nailed it. Due in large part to his delivery, being asked about Michael Jackson was suddenly very very scary. Truly one of the greatest movie scenes of the 90s.
Damn what was the name of that Hawk guy? by Orionsangels	Dec 20th, 2007 10:50:13 PM
The guy in my action figure picture who had a hawk helmet. They tried to push him as the new Joe villian towards the end. Some of them are rare. like my Sgt Slaughter, William Perry the Refrigerator (Famous American Football player at the time) and Hooded Cobra Commander were only available via mail, by sending in three proofs of purchase.
There already was a live-action GI Joe... by ZeroCorpse	Dec 20th, 2007 11:12:29 PM
It was called "The A-Team" and it had the same sweeping stereotypes, the same "shoots a lot but never hits anything" gunplay, and the same dependence on selling toys. Wasn't Mr. T a GI Joe character for a while? he sure seemed like he should be one. Really-- In the 80s, the A-Team was the teenager's approved live-action alternative to GI Joe.
Stephen Sommers + G.I. Joe = Count Me Out by grievenom	Dec 20th, 2007 11:15:00 PM

by sevadro	Dec 20th, 2007 11:56:48 PM

Anna Valerious by ironic_name	Dec 21st, 2007 01:17:40 AM
yeah, eko even says the boy will be "lost".. not only that, but terry o'quinn was in phenomenon2 where he says, we've "lost" him! the clincher though, was o'quinn in the movie "murder in a small town" where he says: "I make 'lock's, mr carter." fun.
eko even says the boy will be "lost".. by ironic_name	Dec 21st, 2007 01:18:32 AM
..in the mummy 2.
terry crews as an even bigger badder blacker roadblock by ironic_name	Dec 21st, 2007 01:22:10 AM
prezuhdent commacho himself.
the big russian guy's name? by ironic_name	Dec 21st, 2007 01:24:11 AM
part of sgt slaughter's crew, ex cobra.. hey nerds, what was his name?
Abominable Snowcone- by sonnyfern	Dec 21st, 2007 02:27:29 AM
Snake-Eyes was already recruited with G.I. Joe, and he and Scarlett were a couple, they were on a mission with Grunt and Rock ‘n Roll, the helicopter they were in started to crash and everyone had to bail, but Scarlett was stuck, and Snake-Eyes stayed to save her, a window exploded right in his face, which messed up his face and vocal cords. It’s one of my favorite moments in comic book history. Really well done stuff. Doc told him that unless he got medical help immediately he may never speak again, but Snake-Eyes, you know, because he was such a badass, convinced Hawk to let him continue on with the mission. Scarlett still loved him, and there’s a great scene where she’s touching his face, which is all bandaged up and ruined, but he removes it and walks away…because you know…again…he’s a badass. They were always off and on in the comics though. Yeah, Flints chick was Lady Jaye. Jesus, I never realized I knew so much about friggin' GI*Joe until this moment. I guess I loved those comics though...
Demode is Definitely an 80s child! by Demode	Dec 21st, 2007 03:19:48 AM
Hey "Grammaton Cleric Binks", I am definitely an 80's child. I just wasn't really into G.I. Joe, is all. My two 80's obsessions were the Transformers and He-Man. I knew everything about those two properties, and still do. In fact, the Masters of the Universe movie is the film I want to see most, out of all of these 80's toys films.
GI Joe with a Kung Fu Panda Grip by StevenScorsese	Dec 21st, 2007 04:13:17 AM
Coming Christmas '08
Uh, ruven76 by Stalkeye	Dec 21st, 2007 06:03:39 AM
Although Denis (Haybert) is one of my favorite character actors and is great in the Unit, Hawk is caucasian. Maybe he could play Stalker but I would give that role to Oz's Eamonn Walker instead (ever seen tears of the Sun?)But Strathman as Zartan is a good call. Cast Monica Belluci as the baroness and I'm so fucking there.
The Adventure Team. by Stalkeye	Dec 21st, 2007 06:23:41 AM
Yeah it's a bit before my time but I remember the ol skool GIJoe like Mike Power: The Atomic man, Bulletman and the Intruder ..Fuck yeah!Then there's also Super Joe which had some cool looking figures and conceptis simular to Captain Scarlett but the toyline only lasted a year. The RAH line is Hasbro's most sucessful line ever.
Demode, wow that really surprises me by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Dec 21st, 2007 06:58:14 AM
I mean Transformers and GI Joe go together like white on rice. I'm telling you, you were seriously deprived as a child then. So did you dig on Thundaar too, he was awesome. Blackstar was a poser compared to him. There are no more good Saturday morning cartoons today with the exception of the remakes they have of the classics; Superman, Batman, Tom and Jerry. I mentioned this is another post, but some dude at work has the same tattoo as Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow in the same place on his arm. That's some freakin' dedication, and proof that hardcore geeks truly exist.
You know what sucked about the cartoon by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Dec 21st, 2007 07:03:14 AM
I mean what really got me angry. In the comic, which is canon for all true Joe fans, Snake Eyes and Scarlett were an item. The cartoon always had Duke and Scarlett as an item. Snake Eyes should have kicked his don't ask don't tell ass.
Drath? by chaddyd	Dec 21st, 2007 08:57:50 AM
yeah Drath, let's also get Lee Majors to play Flint and David Hasseloff can play Destro. Is George Prepard still alive? He'd make a great Duke. Let's try to name some actors that aren't taking Lipitor.
Snake eyes's face by chaddyd	Dec 21st, 2007 09:00:00 AM
didn't Snake Eyes get a new face in the comic? Later on, in the mid to late 80's didn't he get his face either reconstructed or have a mask built for him? i forget the storyline, but I'm pretty sure he looked normal in the late 80's. which is total bullshit, by the way. Also, Storm Shadow is your lord god.
Wasn't OJ Simpson a special edition Joe? by Han Cholo	Dec 21st, 2007 09:30:24 AM
I think I remember you had to send in a couple proofs of purchase and you got OJ in the mail like 6 months later. He came with a football on the end of a rope so he could bop Cobra commandos around. Or was that the Fridge?
Han Cholo by Shermdawg	Dec 21st, 2007 09:54:54 AM
It was Fridge.
I was being facetious by Abominable Snowcone	Dec 21st, 2007 11:35:45 AM
With my description of ethnicity in the Joe ranks. Thus my use of over-generalized words like "eskimos" and "orientals." Guess the joke fell flat. I'm not quite that dense to not acknowledge cultural differences between koreans, chinese, japanese, phillipino, etc. Although I'm not sure what Quick Kick's heritage was.
Orionsangels by Abominable Snowcone	Dec 21st, 2007 11:41:31 AM
I think the "hawk dude" was called Rap-Tor or something. Sonnyfern, thanks for the rundown on Snake and Scarlett. Although if I were facially disfigured, and some hot chick wanted to bang me, I'd be like, let me get a paper bag and bag my face, then I'll bag you.
chaddyd, here's the screwed up part about by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Dec 21st, 2007 11:43:21 AM
the face. Early on in Joe the Baroness got fried, Bludd took her to some Swiss plastic surgeon to fix her up. He apparently pissed off Destro, and this was his only chance to make amends. Later on Snake Eyes went to the same doctor. His face was ugly, but a lot of readers were expecting him to be hideous. It was messed up, but not the see it and puke face we were expecting. Anyway, his face was fixed to normal, but he was double crossed. The Baroness thought Snake Eyes killed her brother, and I forget, but she had somehow arranged, or pointed Snake to this doctor. Sooooo, his face is now perfect only so she can mess it up again. She has the torture and burn devices all ready to go, he escapes, kicks ass, yadda yadda. Then in the process I think he gets a face full of hot coals thrown at him. I gotta dig out my comics and check. But let's assume, and I hate to, but let's assume that's what happened, later on Scarlett was in the hospital for some reason, I forget. Snake Eyes comes barging in his face is all bandaged up. He rips off the bandages, and what he has now is two smaller vertial scars over his face, so re looks 90 percent normal. He looks much better than Gibson did in XXX. It takes a few tries, but for the first time since the comic began he manages to croak out the word "Scarlett" He kept wearing the mask in the comics even though he was pretty much normal. Who knows, maybe for the fear factor. I don't think he ever spoke another word. I believe that's what happened. Corrections by anyone are welcome.
Abominable Snowcone, that's like Hank Hill by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Dec 21st, 2007 11:45:21 AM
asking Khan where he's from. "I'm from Laos,I'm Laotian." Hill - "So are you Chinese or Japanese?" Finally got my wireless up and running again. Friggin microsoft update messed it up this morning.
Grammaton by Abominable Snowcone	Dec 21st, 2007 11:58:54 AM
I get your meaning. Like I said, my attempt at lame humor via overgeneralizing fell flat. I realize you could keep breaking it down, cambodian, tailander, laotian...same way you could do for whites and blacks, or hispanic, of which there are many heritageseses hailing from a multitude of countries and continents. Again, which is why I generalized and said "whites and blacks" instead of irish, german, russian, french, italian, chilean, zimbabwain, trinidadian, jamaican, nigerian, brazilian, puerto rican, mexican, portuguese, etc la-dee-da. GI Joe was always a pack of Skittles in that regard. As long as a good cross-cut of the team is shown for a modest length of time, they have it covered. A veritable bouillabaisse of bee-yew bee-yew bee-yew.
Oh no man, I wasn't bashing on you or your by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Dec 21st, 2007 12:17:55 PM
humor,I was just thinking about the ignorance of Hank Hill. No disrespect to you intended at all. But I guess my humor fell flat too. Oh well, I guess that's why there's professional comedians, and talkbackers.
i was thinking about that ep of king of the hill on tuesday by ironic_name	Dec 21st, 2007 12:30:34 PM
they had a khan episode, that show is great, asnd i'm glad i'm not the only one who rememmbers dialog from a cartoon from yearrs ago. [i'm not fixing mr spelling, its my keybopard's fault (see?) ]
The khan thing by Abominable Snowcone	Dec 21st, 2007 01:05:30 PM
went over my head because I never watched the show. When I hear "Khan," I think Star Trek. As in, "KHHHHAAAAAAN!!" Yes I am a semi-professional TBer. I say "semi" because I don't make my living this way, but it IS what I spend lots of time doing in the office.
I'm doing this a lot more now because by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Dec 21st, 2007 01:33:18 PM
at the moment I'm am unemployed. I got fired for doing my job. Long story, but bottom line is the slackers still have jobs, and I got fired for helping a client.
idiots! idiots, all of them! by doc_atom	Dec 21st, 2007 02:18:28 PM
Duke-Brad Pitt Flint-Bruce Willis Scarlett -don't care Lady Jay - that lady from Law & Order: SVU or, alternately, don't care. Roadblock-Ving Rhames Spirit- Billy from Predator Freedom - the mechanical owl from Clash of the Titans Storm Shadow - me Tomax/Xamot - The Olson Twin Snowjob - Eric Stoltz Cobra Commander - Steve Buscemi Destro (voice) - Laurence Fishburne doing Kevin Spacey doing Christopher Walken Alpine - Chris Tucker Zartan - Tom C. Reilly ...and there you have it.
Cillian Murphy is old? by Drath	Dec 21st, 2007 02:59:00 PM
And Julianne Moore is exactly right for someone like Scarlett who is supposed to be a high-ranking officer in the organization. Let Lady J and Jinx be the youngsters. Robert Patrick is no spring chicken, but he'd make a good Duke just the same. Tomax and Xamot could be as old as York--the ONLY cast member I mentioned who could be called old if you're not still a bed wetter. But no, by all means, get Shia LaBeouff and Zac Effron to star in this. But Paul Blackthorne was excellent on 24 and can pull off Destro, Scottish accent and all, much better than Laurence Fishbourne.
When GIJoe jumped the shark IMHO. by Stalkeye	Dec 21st, 2007 04:24:22 PM
(Comic)Killing off major characters like Doc,Quick kick, breaker,etc it made sense to kill BF 2000 since they were far fetched. 2. too much Snake yes till the point it was subtitled:Snake eyes and the ninja Force, isn't that a bit of overkill? 3.why are villians like Zartan,Baroness and Destro turning into "good gu" all of the sudden? Thank gawd Devil's due repaired Larry Hama's flawed suggestion. (Cartoon) GIJoe The Movie..nuff fucking said. "cobralalalalalalala" (Toylineit got silly with the Ninja force and star bridgade line otherwise known as "Joes in spaaaaacce.." aliens like lobotmax and slythor ddin't help much either. here's hoping the movie will be less of a disapointment than say Transformers. And Ruven; I see your point, regarding "Hawk Palmer" after all if Samuel J is starring in Ironman as Nick Fury... Hell I always prefered Hawk over Duke anyway.
When GIJoe jumped the shark IMHO. by Stalkeye	Dec 21st, 2007 04:24:25 PM
(Comic)Killing off major characters like Doc,Quick kick, breaker,etc it made sense to kill BF 2000 since they were far fetched. 2. too much Snake yes till the point it was subtitled:Snake eyes and the ninja Force, isn't that a bit of overkill? 3.why are villians like Zartan,Baroness and Destro turning into "good gu" all of the sudden? Thank gawd Devil's due repaired Larry Hama's flawed suggestion. (Cartoon) GIJoe The Movie..nuff fucking said. "cobralalalalalalala" (Toylineit got silly with the Ninja force and star bridgade line otherwise known as "Joes in spaaaaacce.." aliens like lobotmax and slythor ddin't help much either. here's hoping the movie will be less of a disapointment than say Transformers. And Ruven; I see your point, regarding "Hawk Palmer" after all if Samuel J is starring in Ironman as Nick Fury... Hell I always prefered Hawk over Duke anyway.
the standard disclaimer by donnarumsfeld	Dec 21st, 2007 04:44:22 PM
Why does Quint never know much about what he's writing about? And what's to know anyway... it's fucking GI Joe.
Haha thanks Abominable Snowcone by Orionsangels	Dec 21st, 2007 06:35:57 PM
It was Raptor. Somehow I should have know that. I remembered Croc Master lol.
Wasn't colin powell a special edition Joe? by Orionsangels	Dec 21st, 2007 06:37:03 PM
J/K hehe
No, there was a Colin Powell GI Joe by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Dec 21st, 2007 07:04:32 PM
Seriously, I think there may have been a Stormin Norman one too, but there was a GI Joe (I wanna say hall of fame line) that came out. This after the comice ended. These were the full size 12 inch tall ones, and yes, they did make a Colin Powell.
Don't be hating on G.I.JOE THE MOVIE. by Shermdawg	Dec 21st, 2007 07:54:38 PM
Cobra Commander turning into a snake was the best moment of the entire series. And Pythona breaking into the Terrordrome? Forget about it.
Snake Eyes Face by sonnyfern	Dec 21st, 2007 08:18:48 PM
Yeah, he wore a mask to make his face regular for a while there, but I think they gave him a bunch of surgery so he'd look allright, which I always thought was kinda lame.
Snake Eyes' face by only1	Dec 22nd, 2007 05:35:55 AM
did get the surgery in the Snake Eyes Trilogy (wanna say it was around issue #94)... but at the end of the trilogy, some jackhole takes a fucking branding iron and fucksup all that surgery OUR TAX DOLLARS paid for. Well, in a fictional way. So, yeah... face fixed... only to be taken away right away. I'd say it sucks to be Snake Eyes, but he has a fucking hot red-headed girlfriend. Maybe I need some facially deforming accident...
Shermdawg I don't think Cobra turned into a snake by Orionsangels	Dec 22nd, 2007 09:18:54 AM
They just showed what was under his mask. It was a half man/half snake dude. That's funny about Colin Powell being a GIJOE. I think subconsciously I remembered. That's why I said it.
Orion, OF COURSE he turned into a snake. by Shermdawg	Dec 22nd, 2007 02:20:32 PM
After Cobra Commander's trial, he and Roadblock manage to escape Cobra-La, and because of his sentence (exposure to the de-evolving spores), he most ertainly DID turn into a snake and slither away. "I WAS-sss Once-sss a man... Once-sss... A... MAN..."
7:20 into this vid... by Shermdawg	Dec 22nd, 2007 02:32:28 PM
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Vrd DAdJK8ZU&feature=related
"Cobra-La" = biggest fan f*ckover ever... by Boober	Dec 22nd, 2007 08:14:29 PM
Remember when this was about soldiers assaulting terrorist hideouts with guts and guns, facing the machinations of Cobra Commander,Destro, and such? I mean, who doesn't want to see giant Military Cobra-Robot gunship mechs painting the landscape as Snake and Stormshadow sh*tkick each other into oblivion. There's stupid, and then there's Cobra-la stupid. P.S. Original Snake-eyes and Stormshadow equal best preteen action figures ever. Besides Soundwave and Optimus, that is. Snicker.
Great comic cover... by BizarroJerry	Dec 22nd, 2007 10:24:57 PM
Tell me this isn't one of the coolest comic book covers ever: http://tinyurl.com/2shtf2
Niiice! by Stalkeye	Dec 23rd, 2007 04:42:39 AM
Yeah one thing i can say about GIJoe comics, they had some of the best covers thanks to Mike Zeck and Mike Golden (The Destro: search and destroy covers alone are deserving of a poster.) Oh and Sherm,I'm not hating on The GIJoe Movie I just thought it was a major letdown. Here's why: 1.The far fetched Cobra-La although Burgess meredeth did a great job as the Serpent KIng Golobulus. 2.Cobra Commander's lame origin and turning into a fucking snake?? Once again taking a backseat to the boring Serpentor. 3.WTF? all we get from Zartan and Storm Shadow is a fucking cameo? Dr. Mindbender had way more scenes and that's a bad thing.4.Rehashed music from the TV series and even to some degree the TF movie. WTF was there a muscians strike at the time? However the remixed theme song was da shit.."he never gives up, he'll never say die, walking tall with banners high to sound the battle cty...Yo Joe"! and finally 5. "Duke's in a coma" the original script had him killed but due to the overwhelming response of Optimus Prime's death scene from the TF Movie forced Sunbow and Marvel to nix the scene. I was a huge fan of Joe growing up as those lil' fuckers ass raped my wallet (and previously my parents too.)spending hundreds on the figures,vehicles,comics and playsets but there were certain things about GIJ ARAH that was hard to digest. I hope this long overdue live action film will do them justice. Still the international concept has got to go.
Tomax & Xamot Voice... by Soulofmischief	Dec 25th, 2007 10:11:49 PM
In a Tomax voice "this Movie is Gonna SUCK// How do you Know?// I KNOW !!!
{ahem} American Melting pot, not international UN by JasonPratt	Dec 26th, 2007 05:40:00 PM
The basic concept was unity in diversity, the classic American Melting Pot, bringing people from all over the world together to cooperate together. There didn't need to be a UN link per se. (If anything, it was Cobra who pulled crew from all over the world. (Now there's a thought for movie plot: Cobra turns out to be a hidden rogue operation of the United Nations which an ethnically mixed American team has to fight against to ensure world stability... {g!} Oh Lord they would never dare to be that 'edgy', or not 'edgy' in that way.) *** Also, agreed about the comics being pretty hard-core for their time, and ridiculously well-written (considering the source material was a toy-line) by Larry Hama et al. Then again, the Transformers comics could be even more disturbing, since the writers could get away with awful mangling damage to robot characters being _shown_ (not just fatalities in the course of action).
Oh, and Sgt Slaughter clearly has to be Don Frye. {g} by JasonPratt	Dec 26th, 2007 05:42:05 PM
He can obviously still do the job: his whole role in the Godzilla Final Wars movie was a direct riff on the Sgt Slaughter character, originally a _wrestling_ character. Best lines in the film, too, between him and the crazy alien leader.
Whoa! Joe! another movie fucked by Hollywood. by Violator90	Dec 26th, 2007 06:08:38 PM
WTF?!?! G.I. JOE was a favorite of mine when I was a kid. All the cool characters-from all over the world mind you-and COBRA being just so badass. But this fucked up concept is just making me want to vomit. Shit! Why can't Hollywood leave a perfect good idea and just use the source material instead of fucking shit up with stupid things, and actors that don't fit the parts! This whole "rapping my childhood" idea is actually taking on a whole new fucked up level that really leaves me wanting to see the original cartoons and comics more thatn watching some fucked up P.C. safe bullshit! FUCK YOU HOLLYWOOD!
Destro like Daffy was a black man. by BrandonGK	Jan 12th, 2008 08:25:29 PM
You know it.
baroness clothes ripped apart by lasers!!great scene by patrick2006	Jan 15th, 2008 11:39:16 AM

Talkbacks

More join up with GI JOE!

User login

Quick Talkback