(You can thank me later.)

Well, happy thanksgiving to all the American TalkBackers (except Gabriel Grey) and to all the AICN staff!

Man, I used to love that film when I was a kid.

Where's my Leprechaun box set Motherfuckers? you know that it is necessary. Imagine the insane commentary possibilities from Warwick as he talks about exploding from a space marine's genitals.

The commentary would have to be in plastic oirish though.

The boards have been pleasantly clear of his loathsome presence since I had to bitch-slap him the other day. I don't want him back.

And yes, we need that Lep set forthwith.

Pirates 3 was mess!

Close Encounters is better than Tranformers... No SHit!

and the guy with the tie needs a better wig!

They're basically giving everyone around them the finger and saying, "Fuck you, you don't matter." Zardoz gets it.

There's a special place in Hell for insufferable, cockwrangling jackholes like that. Right next to M-O-M.

An 18 rating is a good thing.

This is why I will never go to another Harry Potter effort in the cinema.

Have you noticed it's always morbidly obese fuckers that get up untold times during the film and cast a fucking shadow like Hitchcock's on the fucking screen?

Other pet peeves- overly hormonal teenagers trying to ingest what their boy/girlfriend/ fuck buddy had for breakfast last week, by extracting it from their lower intestine with their tongues, hoody wearing pond scum chav vermin that hang around in the entrance- without any intention of going in to anything, getting fucked in the arse for a £10 for a shite film, carpet that both sticks to and simultaneously corrodes your shoes.

Shit I can go on for ages on this. WANKERS- ALL OF YOU

AND NO I DON'T WANT TO BUY A BAG OF "WEED" THAT LOOKS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE OREGANO OFF SOME FUCKING DIRTBAG HANGING AROUND OUTSIDE IT- YOU FUCKING SCUMBAGS. CLEAN IT UP IT DOES NOT ADD "CHARACTER" TO THE AREA IT SIMPLY SCREAMS "RUN DOWN SHIT HOLE"

aaaaaargggggghhhhh, going to the cinema has become a truly fucking horrible and expensive experience

I can't count all the times I've had to go out and ask them to correct basic things like that, and they look at me like I'm the one who should be put to the cat-nine-o-tails in public instead of them.

Fuck 'em, each and every one of those miserable, cretinous homunculi.

I think King Theoden put it best when he said:

"DEEEEEAAAAAATTH!!!"

I think you have to have a complexion that looks as if you've been maced, personal hygeine that would shame a caveman, and an attitude better suited to a career as a fucking binman to be employed.

I've lost count of the amount of time their shitey, surly demeanour and feigned deafness has reduced me to a state of utter apoplexy. THey think that by pressing a few fucking buttons and getting a ticket to come out of a machine they are doing me some kind of favour.

Why on earth should we, the already sore-bummed consumer, have to fork out for something that the greedy, useless profiteering bastards should install as standard?

and don't give me "They can't afford it"- judging by the calibre of staff they clearly are not spunking their budgets on salaries.

For example, before 12A- PG meant Parental Guidance. This, by definition, meant that kids of any age could see it but it wasn't totally kiddie safe. Then there was 12, 15 and 18. Since 12A there is effectively 2 PG ratings- so why on earth did they implement it?

Gross fucking stupidity and tinkering for tinkering's sake.

I don't have any experience when it comes to cinemas in Britain, but far too much experience when it comes to America and Sweden. The former predominately suffers from the "bring your two-year-olds to Saving Private Ryan" malady as well as the lobby-commuting wankers and talk-to-the-screeners. The latter has a HUGE problem with cell phone cunts. As soon as there is the slightest pause or contemplative moment in a film, on come the little fucking lights everywhere.

I do so hate these vermin.

Going to the cinema in Britain is really a case of pot luck- sometimes it is fine, and others just fucking horrendous. The worst thing is probably the absolute absence of anything resembling a reasonable level of hygeine. The amount of times I've sat down to find that I mistakenly took a wrong turn and have stepped out of the cinema into a dumpster is simply mindblowing. How hard is it to sweep up peoples crap between viewings?

I actually remember my watershed moment when I realised that the great unwashed are indeed a complete group of cunts. It was in Arachnophobia and the loathsome chav-ette (who will inevitably be dead from a heroin OD, having squandered her ill-educated, obnoxious, mannerless excuse for a life)sitting behind me berated her "boyfriend"/ Victim for the entire length of the film- only pausing to attempt to swallow his head. I was only about 12, but it ruined the fucking movie and probably started my misanthropy.

I think we are actually devolving as a species. It's the only explanation