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Vern Calls URBAN JUSTICE A Masterpiece!

First by Doctor Zoidberg	Oct 20th, 2007 06:38:39 AM
ha ha
damn you, you ashkenazi crustacean by ironic_name	Oct 20th, 2007 06:41:53 AM
nearly had a hat-trick.
Seagal still runs like a girl by Doctor Zoidberg	Oct 20th, 2007 06:43:00 AM
Seriously he runs like a little prissy girl. Plus he has breasts.
I won't tolerate any semiticrustacianism by Doctor Zoidberg	Oct 20th, 2007 06:43:36 AM

or rather ANTI-semitcrustacianism...who can spell that? by Doctor Zoidberg	Oct 20th, 2007 06:44:19 AM

he should pop out of a cake by ironic_name	Oct 20th, 2007 06:44:55 AM
and rub his moobs. but he has a dojo, and has japaneese ladies who call him 'master'.
quiet you! hits with rolled up newspaper by ironic_name	Oct 20th, 2007 06:49:47 AM
I got to see billy west a week ago, in melbourne. I had no idae he did ziodberg's voice, fry and zap, obviously, but i thought john dimaggio did bender and zoidberg. ... scuttles off WOOPWOOBWOOBWOOB!!!
hooray for spelling mistakes! by ironic_name	Oct 20th, 2007 06:51:11 AM

But what does this have to do with . . . by Nice Marmot	Oct 20th, 2007 06:53:56 AM
. . . Dumbledore being gay?
its got EVERYTHING to do with that! by ironic_name	Oct 20th, 2007 06:58:31 AM
"we're through the looking glass here, people."
Dumbledore is gay? by buffywrestling	Oct 20th, 2007 07:10:11 AM
That is so weird. Almost as weird as a Steven Seagal book.
Although.... by buffywrestling	Oct 20th, 2007 07:19:38 AM
Dumbledore and Seagal have "alot" in common. Both wore robes. Like pony tails. And have mad skillz.
This will be a day long remembered, Vern! by SpencerTrilby	Oct 20th, 2007 07:42:41 AM
I'm buying SEAGALOGY right now. And can't wait to see URBAN JUSTICE (even if the shitty cover ain't that appealling I admit - albeit fucking hilarious), I'd love to see him go back to the OUT FOR JUSTICE roots.
Did someone else write this review in post-production?? by TomBodet	Oct 20th, 2007 07:54:36 AM
Vern old Son-this was about the best thing you've written, and you even dropped the 'Vern da tough guy' routine throughout most of it. Interesting. I like the stuff about "Aliens in sub" or "mutants in the Oval Office"--movie's done, they're seeing a rough cut or editing away--STOP THE PRESS-this IS A P.O.S.! That X-files shit is so 1996! C'mon...make it about Al Qaeda Mutants in the SUB! Shit! So they spend the next 4 days getting everyone they know to loop in the dialogue, wherever Segal sez 'Mutant' or 'Sub', you know it's Fred from Crafts Services(TM) saying that, instead, mid-sentence. That's a scream, that part made the review for me right there. No really. Good luck on book. Make on camera interview for same.
I recommend by buffywrestling	Oct 20th, 2007 07:55:26 AM
all the freakos and weirdos buy this book.
A film called URBAN JUSTICE... by Shady Drifter	Oct 20th, 2007 07:55:30 AM
... without a rapper? What's the world coming to? Oh well, it sounds cool! I can't wait to see Seagal kicking more dudes in the nads...
Happy days! by TELF	Oct 20th, 2007 07:58:07 AM
Well done Vern. I always imagined Seagalogy as being like the mammoth second novel Michael Douglas was trying to write in Wonder Boys. Glad it is now complete, it'll be my birthday present to myself. I haven't rented a Seagal movie this decade(usually I read your review and look out for them on cable) but this business of 11 nut-kicks obviously deserves my immediate attention.
Vern do you make as much if I download it? by eggart	Oct 20th, 2007 07:58:38 AM
Because that's what I'm doing...
"he gives a sandwich to a homeless guy in one part" by Bobo_Vision	Oct 20th, 2007 07:58:58 AM
I love how many Steven Seagal pictures include him doing a contrived, random act of kindness to emphasize to the audience that he's a good guy, like in "Out for Justice" where some guy throws a puppy out of his car window while driving, and Seagal rescues the puppy, and then kicks that guy's ass in the end. It doesn't get more contrived than that. It wouldn't surprise me if his DTV films have scenes where he helps old ladies across the street, or rescues kittens from a tree. And congrats on the book, Vern.
At least I would by eggart	Oct 20th, 2007 08:02:48 AM
if the fucking site worked.
There was a politician named "Alot". by JackPumpkinhead	Oct 20th, 2007 08:25:12 AM
But there still is no such word. And there never will be.
I sometimes use the word "alot" to honor Vern. by Bronx Cheer	Oct 20th, 2007 08:46:09 AM
And yes, I realize a kitten is set afire every time I do this, but damn it, sometimes you just have to make some sacrifices.
2 B's IN PROBABLY, VERN!!!!! by BringingSexyBack	Oct 20th, 2007 08:49:39 AM
Now I'll read the rest of the review.
DOES ANDRE FUCKING BRAUGHER GET OFFED IN THIS? by BringingSexyBack	Oct 20th, 2007 08:51:39 AM
He does great death scenes I heard.
I THINK SEAGAL SHOULD GO ON CELEBRITY FAT CLUB LIKE KELLY LEBROC by BringingSexyBack	Oct 20th, 2007 08:56:30 AM
She lost a lot of weight
"What does it take to change the essence of a man?" by Osmosis Jones	Oct 20th, 2007 09:04:34 AM
"The plankton are dying."
I'll be getting the new Vern book by johnnyangel	Oct 20th, 2007 09:25:03 AM
And I would recommend Vern's first book, "5 On the Outside" to any talkbackers who can read or at least get their moms to read it to them.
to Eggart by Vern	Oct 20th, 2007 09:29:04 AM
I don't get as much if you download it but I do get a good chunk. I don't really understand downloading a book myself but I thought more people would read it if there was a cheaper option. So thanks for trying to download it. Let me know if it doesn't get straightened out, I'll throw somebody through a window or something.
Jesus Christ Vern by buffywrestling	Oct 20th, 2007 09:39:03 AM
Don't over react until you can suss it out. Knee a guy in the nuts in the mean time or something.
His voice... by Jack Bauer	Oct 20th, 2007 09:40:56 AM
It isn't him unless his voice has changed A LOT.
Did you draw the cover too? by ButtfuckZydeco	Oct 20th, 2007 09:48:17 AM
At first I thought Seagal was standing behind some glass that'd been shot out, then I clicked on it and it was helicopters, but I bet if I clicked on the helicopters, it'd turn out their windshields had been shot out.
And fuck it, Vern by ButtfuckZydeco	Oct 20th, 2007 09:49:44 AM
You got my money. Buying the hard copy. I hope you give the speeded-up spinning back fist from Under Siege 2 a chapter of its own. Defining moment.
dammit Vern, this better be as good as you say by kafka07	Oct 20th, 2007 10:21:09 AM
I am going to break my own code and see a direct-to-video Segal movie. If it sucks then I will kick you in the nuts 11 times. Oh yeah and throw down a flight of stairs. And then kick your puppy.
Niel Cumpston would have done a better review. by Teh Suk	Oct 20th, 2007 10:50:03 AM
It would have kicked me in the balls 22 times and thrown me down an elevator shaft.
Vern is the best reviewer why?: I enjoy reading his reviews by Stormwatcher	Oct 20th, 2007 10:51:15 AM
More than the movies themselves. Mostly. Damn. Fine. Writer. Should have a syndicated column that gets referenced on movie jackets and press releases. You are my movie hero Vern. Alot.
Dubbing lines by DeadPanWalking	Oct 20th, 2007 10:53:23 AM
I don't understand why they don't just hire Will Sasso to overdub the lines when Segal isn't available ... oh, wait, he's probably too expensive. Vern, does your book go into the possible connections between Segal's sheer volume of work lately and the possiblility that he's doing it to pay off depts to the mafia? That would be an interesting tie-in.
Vern you lovely motherfucker. by Grando	Oct 20th, 2007 11:37:16 AM
I ordered a copy, enjoy my cash. I'm sure the book will be the tits. When it finally crawls across the Atlantic to my doormat in Scotland!
Into The Sun was actually very entertaining by GravyAkira	Oct 20th, 2007 12:45:42 PM
I did my first and last 3 days in jail last week, and Into The Sun really helped pass the time. Where the hell did Eddie George come from? Seagal is still the fucking man though. Loved seeing him with a samurai sword! Thanks for the heads up though Vern. Im gonna give this one a chance.
There we go! by eggart	Oct 20th, 2007 01:07:04 PM
I had to sign up before I put it in the cart. It wouldn't work when I tried to sign up as I checked out. There's one digital sale for ya.
5 by 5 by 5 by 5	Oct 20th, 2007 01:33:34 PM
And now I know why arsehole's slow down traffic looking at car accidents on the other side of the road.
I hear Seagulls Hair is spray on these days! by FILMFUNK	Oct 20th, 2007 01:34:09 PM
Never really had a big interest in the big, squinty eyed lunk before but watched him a wee while ago hosting the Friday Night Experiance here in the UK and it was a hoot!
Will Sasso Vs. Steven Segal by Uncapie	Oct 20th, 2007 01:53:33 PM
Sasso does a great impersonation of him! You could have bad Segal vs. good Segal. Pee Wee Herman as the mad scientist that creates the evil twin with Brooke Shields as "The Mayor."
Seagal as The Punisher by messi	Oct 20th, 2007 02:16:36 PM
In a decent world.
SEAGAL AS SHIA LAEBOOF SR! by Pennsy	Oct 20th, 2007 02:32:46 PM
You know you want that to happen,
Urban Justice League by Forestal	Oct 20th, 2007 02:38:30 PM
Starring 50 Cent as Superman, Ice Cube as Batman, Eddie Griffin as the Green Lantern, and Damon Wayans as the Flash.
2 Bits of Good News in One Post! by sonofbronson	Oct 20th, 2007 02:54:02 PM
My to do list now reads buy Seagalogy and rent or buy Urban Justice at earliest convenience.
Vern, I love ya but... by doctorfreudstein	Oct 20th, 2007 03:05:17 PM
...how could you go the whole review without mentioning the bizarre “ghetto” affectations that Seagal keeps slipping in and out of? “Muthafuckin’ thang” and what not? One more pleasure in a picture of many. Looking forward to your book, of course. Keep the faith.
Lulu rocks by ButtfuckZydeco	Oct 20th, 2007 03:24:07 PM
I now have popped my vanity-press cherry. There's a gal where I work who publishes romance and erotica under a similar imprint. I love that they have a 100 buck overnight delivery option (I downgraded to media mail) and that they offer a sixth motherfucking star on their reviews. Normally, that might seem a little wasteful, but I have a hunch Vern turned this fucker up to 11 and I'll need all the stars I can get.
Seagalogy by Burton Radons	Oct 20th, 2007 04:24:55 PM
Vern, I've never understood your ... complex regarding Seagal, but you haven't written anything that hasn't at least been interesting yet (and your article about Seagal's blues band is one of my favourites), so I'm going to buy it. I'd like to know - and excuse me if you think this is a personal question now - how goes your walk with Christ these days. Everybody in America's being polarised these days but it must be particularly hard for a good Christian who's being told that Christ's way is to act like the Romans - to enslave, forcibly convert, execute, and hate. If you are still a Christian - I don't think you've referenced it in years - I hope you put your thoughts about that in a Tell's It Like It Is sometime.
Remember-voting for Mitt puts an Osmond in the White House. by TomBodet	Oct 20th, 2007 04:42:23 PM
You know it to be so.
Re: What the fuck is this talk about christ? by Burton Radons	Oct 20th, 2007 04:45:56 PM
I'm an atheist, and can see nothing of what I said in the phrase "the practice of attempting to convert people to another opinion".
A LOT is two words. by Tal111	Oct 20th, 2007 04:54:34 PM
I have A LOT of things. Would you ever say I have acar? No, a car! GODDAMN!! TWO WORDS- IS that so hard to comprehend? Especially for a guy writing reviews?
Lulu continued by ButtfuckZydeco	Oct 20th, 2007 05:00:39 PM
I also fucking love that when you click on their best sellers it gives you the all-time list, but then when you click on "this week" and "this month" you get nothing. Have they not sold any this month, yet. If so, I have singlehandedly put Seagalogy at #1.
Seagal had me ... by johnnyjlawless	Oct 20th, 2007 05:28:50 PM
when he mercilessly beat the shit out of what was clearly a 70 year old man in 'On Deadly Ground'. I've been waiting for this book a long time. yours, a level 6 Seagalogist
URBAN JUSTICE = VERY GOOD SURPRISE by Fenrisulfr	Oct 20th, 2007 05:43:18 PM
I saw it too, and it is indeed a good surprise from Steven Seagal. Of course this low-budget direct-to-video feature doesn’t equal the brutal vigilante movies of his early days, but still it’s a nice return to form for Steven. The fights are clumsily shot, still too close and often in dark places... but they're still much better than in his other DTVs. They are fortunately numerous enough and most importantly deliver in the brutality department. His merciless attitude is reminiscent of the good old times (Marked For Death, Out For Justice). Steven breaks necks and arms once again, delivers some solid Aikido moves on stupid gangbangers and I loved that. He bruises them, slams them, breaks them, kills them, shoot their ears off. There is even a scene where Steven kicks a crooked cop in the balls repeatedly around a dozen times! The shootings were not realistic at all, but ridiculously over-the-top and fun when it comes to the amount of blood spraying all over the place. I’m talking about blood-covered walls and fountains of blood ! Urban Justice is without a doubt his most violent flick since The Glimmer Man. Maybe even Out For Justice. Of course that’s a huge plus! Another thing is that I hate gangs. They’re just a bunch of heartless cowards and brainless monkeys. And I just love watching them suffer the most possible. I always wanted to see Seagal beat the shit out of those west-coast rapping niggas, and the film gave me exactly that. With the whole LA gangsta theme it also reminded me of Dark Blue, and the Early Nineties in LA, the riots and all... The good old times !… man I really miss the nineties. The acting… well who really gives a fuck about it? Seagal plays Seagal. Yes he is still fat and gross but at least here he fights and kicks ass once again. There's some decent acting in the rest of the cast. Eddie Griffin plays perfectly the gang leader, swearing to the extreme, shooting a lot. The rest is a bunch of unknown actors, apart from a short cameo by the always cool Danny Trejo. Overall the film is the best Seagal movie in years and the most entertaining Seagal flick since his last theatrical release, Exit Wounds.
Seagal Is Back! Tripple Hard Style. by Alex Trevelyan	Oct 20th, 2007 06:11:57 PM
Just watched 'Urban Justice'. Its brutally violent. Old school Seagal. Great fun. Its not the recent crap like Submerged etc.. Its his hardcore early 1990's brand of justice. I was surprised!
Seagulls are flying jerks! by Womb2dooM	Oct 20th, 2007 06:30:39 PM
But that has nothing to do with this book. I look forward to reading it and learning about this "Steven Seagal". Just so y'all know - "Glimmer Man" is great!
Seagal was a childhood hero by SoylentMean	Oct 20th, 2007 07:03:56 PM
I remember watching Seagal movies and getting really pumped up and hyper. I started breaking things, screaming, and willing my hair to grow extra long. I also developed an Erika Eleniak obsession. Thank you Under Siege. Every time I see a new Seagal DTV movie is coming out it makes me sad, like I just fell down a well and no one knows it. I'm seriously considering putting this movie in my Netflix queue, just to support the pony-tailed one's return to glory. Why the fuck has Tarantino not put Seagal in any of his movies?
Awesome Cover by Guy Who Got A Headache And Accidentally Saves The World	Oct 20th, 2007 08:16:37 PM
If you drew that vern maybe you should throw a picture in a review every once in a while.
to Dr. Freudstein by Vern	Oct 20th, 2007 08:24:18 PM
You're right - he does that in alot of his movies actually, picking up a southern twang or a little ebonics or whatever he wants. I think his possibly Cajun but I'm not sure accent in SUBMERGED is the weirdest. He's always adopting cultures (most notably Japanese culture including Aikido and samurai swords) and he does the same with accents. There's an URBAN JUSTICE chapter in the book and I talk about that a little bit. I forget how many times he said motherfucker but I have a count in the book.
a special Seagal moment by me by Spandau Belly	Oct 20th, 2007 08:41:53 PM
Okay, so by some wierd fluke I never saw a Steven Seagal film in my life. It was really wierd. He was big when I was a kid, and I remember seeing a couple Van Damme movies as a child and thinking they were okay but just assumed Seagal would be kinda more of the same and never bothered to see his movies. My brother-in-law is a huge Seagal fan. Seagal is his favortie action actor. I've exposed this guy to so many classic action movies that he now loves that his jaw hit the floor when he found out I'd never seen any of Seagal's films. So I browsed his collection and found one called FIRE DOWN BELOW that looked pretty funny. The jacket Seagal was wearing and the rustic setting made me hope he was playing a Native Indian getting revenge on whitey and I thought that would be pretty funny and so we watched it together a few weeks ago. I have to say, I was blown away. This film was hysterical. Seagal is not an Indian, but he's an FBI agent trying to infiltrate a small town by pretending to be a labourer who happens to wear the hottest most expensive city clothes least suited to any kind of physical activity or even standing in the sun if you're a sweaty type. But what blew me away was that even though Seagal couldn't make his character look and act more ridiculously out of place, he actually wrote the entire soundtrack full of totally authentic hillbilly sounding banjo music. After laughing at the whole movie when the credits wound up at the song list and all of them were creditted to Seagal even my brother-in-law, Mr. Seagalist, was speechless. I'm pretty sure Vern's book will be my Christmas gift to my brother-in-law and I know I'll see another Seagal film now. Good night you kings of New England, you princes of Maine.
Has to be a BoSox mention. by TomBodet	Oct 20th, 2007 09:07:17 PM
Being from Maine myself originally, trust me--there aren't that many of Royal stock there, though a few here and there that might be mistaken for Prince if yer half drunk and in Lewiston at the wrong time of night. I always liked Under Seige II myself. Bogosian as a baddie. PRetty cool.
Wow by ryandowneyjr	Oct 20th, 2007 09:14:30 PM
I love you for the 'alot' comment. I am by no means a grammar nazi, but that annoys the shit out of me when I see people spelling it as one word.
you guys worried about "alot" by johnnyangel	Oct 20th, 2007 09:22:36 PM
need to get laid more.
and don't we all by johnnyangel	Oct 20th, 2007 09:22:57 PM

Spandau by Vern	Oct 20th, 2007 09:58:52 PM
Thanks for sharing that story. I think FIRE DOWN BELOW is the most underrated Seagal movie. It mixes the environmental preachiness in a little more organically than ON DEADLY GROUND did (he's not actually an FBI agent - he's EPA - but for some reason he's armed!), it has some good action (the truck chase is great), it has Kris Kristofferson as the bad guy, it has glowing green "toxic waste," it has Seagal playing a guitar, and it even has Harry Dean Stanton. My favorite scene in that one is when he walks into church, tells everyone to be seated and starts lecturing them. It's so funny that he does that but what he's talking about in the speech (selling out the future of their children for a satellite dish) is pretty accurate. I would definitely recommend you check out ON DEADLY GROUND, from what you said I think you will be even more blown away by that one. Also Seagal directed it so it's his definitive statement.
What Exactly Were The Good Steven Segal Movies? by skoobyx	Oct 21st, 2007 01:40:46 AM
Even with Van Damme I have a vague recollection of a time when he made reasonably entertaining movies that were popular and profitable. The career of Steven Segal seems more nebulous, almost as if we all agreed to believe he was star at one point without having any proof.
skoobyx by Guy Who Got A Headache And Accidentally Saves The World	Oct 21st, 2007 02:33:04 AM
Everything from his first movie up to Under Siege is probably what you're looking for. The "Golden Age" as vern calls it.
“Who killed my son?!?” by doctorfreudstein	Oct 21st, 2007 03:01:54 AM
Just might become the next “Anybody seen Ritchie?!? Anyone know why Ritchie did Bobby Lupo?!?” Not because it’s as memorable a piece of dialogue, but because Seagal gives it something of the same gusto and delivers it ALOT (sans space just to spite some of you). Vern, you’re absolutely right about Seagal’s career-spanning affection for curious accents -- of course I would expect nothing less from the world’s foremost Seagalogist -- which I first remember popping up in the all-time Seagal classic OUT FOR JUSTICE. I know you'll correct me if I'm wrong. With Motherfucker Counts, I don’t see how your book can miss. Congratulations, sir.
Seagal the Bluesman by Mundungus	Oct 21st, 2007 04:05:15 AM
Dude had a gig playing his guitar and singing at the humble little restaurant where my ma hostesses. Like 100 seats on a beachside wooden deck in Anna Mairia Florida. The spot is usually reserved for chumps who strum along to their Casio rhythm maker and sing Margaritaville and Brown Eyed Girl for tips in a goldfish tank. Got to hand it to Seagal for the workman attitude that he shows. Same with the DTV films I guess. He keeps on working even if the crowd has become smaller, no complaints. There’s no shame in that. That being said, I’m pretty surprised that so many of the posters here actually like his films. Dear God. I mean, Damn! Those movies were bad, and so much fond reminiscence going on in here. I’ve always grouped Seagal with bad Hair Bands, Acid washed Jeans, and all manner of tasteless dreck excreted during the 80’s. But I guess one man’s junk is another man’s treasure. This is especially true in gay relationships.
Vern, a minor princeling by palimpsest	Oct 21st, 2007 05:10:47 AM
Long may he live...
As for Seagal directing ON DEADLY GROUND by palimpsest	Oct 21st, 2007 05:13:42 AM
Didn't Irvin Kershner hold Big Steve's hand throughout?
under siege by ironic_name	Oct 21st, 2007 06:11:17 AM
had fantastic boobies
Kershner was Lucas's tutor at UCLA by palimpsest	Oct 21st, 2007 06:14:15 AM
Notwithstanding that, Kersh was the director on ON DEADLY GROUND, and Seagal got the credit, due solely to his early 90s success. That's not defending Kersher as a director, that's just the way it was...
How many interesting shirts in Urban justice. by wowsah156	Oct 21st, 2007 06:53:33 AM
I love Stevens taste in shirts. Is he wearing any Native Indian type shirts in Urban justice?
Hello, my name is AICN JUSTICE. by Proman1984	Oct 21st, 2007 07:35:40 AM
I'm not gonna pretend to be whatever crap what you stupid morons like in the post-TELETUBBIES age. I am a movie where Steven Seagal kicks BringingSexyBack 50 times in the balls and then throws him down a flight of stairs. If you have a problem with that, I will kick YOU 50 times in the balls and then throw you down a flight of stairs. Because that's just who I am. I'm AICN JUSTICE.
Memories, spot on, almost by SoylentMean	Oct 21st, 2007 09:04:46 AM
I started to beat your wife.
first Tobe Hooper and now this? by Vern	Oct 21st, 2007 09:35:02 AM
I never heard anybody giving somebody else credit for ON DEADLY GROUND. Irvin Kershner does have a cameo (playing the director of a PSA) but even in his scene his star (Michael Caine) takes over and won't let him direct. I've never heard that claim before, but I have heard stories about Seagal's directing. Who was the talkbacker who was an extra in that movie? He told a great story about the stunt director giving a big speech to all the extras about how they don't have to get too close to the explosion if they don't feel safe and after he's done Seagal takes the megaphone and says "But if you do what he just said you're a pussy." I'd like to see Irvin Kershner do that.
Just placed my order by CeefaxTheCat	Oct 21st, 2007 10:13:53 AM
paid cash for the paperback, downloading is for pussys.
Review by rxse7en	Oct 21st, 2007 10:44:16 AM
That review was longer than the screenplay.
Thought S.S. only made 3-word movies... by tHeGRinGoGenTiLE	Oct 21st, 2007 02:24:31 PM
He's really changing his style!
Seagal Title Trick by ConcreteParakeet	Oct 21st, 2007 04:40:55 PM
A friend pointed out years ago that every Seagal title forms a proper sentence with the word "is" inserted between his name and the title.I hope you cover this in the book Vern and congrats on the book in general.I hope it sells more than the Maltin guide.
CONGRATS VERN / HAS THE SS CONTACTED YOU? by TheDohDoh	Oct 21st, 2007 05:10:31 PM
Hey Vern, just wanted to say congrats on the book. That's a major accomplishment in a man's life and career and most people don't realize the lengths it takes to make it a reality even with the Internets. I was wondering if the SS has contacted you b/c I'm sure he'd sit down for an interview or at least a phoner. Obviously, the SS is nearing a theatrical comeback don't you think? I think with Rambo, a lot of these dudes will get that opportunity at least one more time. And not an Executive Decision type role either. Headlining bitches. It's sort of like porn if you think about it, once you make a movie alongside a dumb rapper your bigger windows close. I'll give the SS credit for being on that Llama shit way before Gere and right after Murray. The man rocks shawls in his sleep. Then again, if the SS stuck to wearing just black like in his Out for Justice days, my mom would probably still know who he was.
Hey Vern. by mrfan	Oct 21st, 2007 06:51:39 PM
Congratulations on the book. Cannot wait to read it. Maybe I missed but how many pages is it? When will the book signing tour begin? Again, congrats.
Mr. Fan by Vern	Oct 22nd, 2007 12:34:01 AM
It's 327 pages of pure justice, both urban justice and regular justice.
I am a student of The Seagal... by welshcakes	Oct 22nd, 2007 04:03:23 AM
...kind of. I used to study Aikido, and my sensai was actually trained by The Seagal in Japan. He said that he was the biggest asshole he has ever met but also the most brutal and devastating exponent of Aikido he has ever encountered. He said that you'd go for him, then he'd disappear and then there'd be a bit of a blur and you'd find yourself lying on your back with a sore wrist. Awesome. Anyroad, I love The Seagal. I went to see him on his Mojo Priest tour ealier this year and was lucky enough to meet The Great Man afterwards. It was the most important five seconds of my life. Jolly well looking forward to Urban Juctice (or Renegade Justice as it's being called here in Europe), it's sounds like the Seagal movie I've been waiting for. PS. I've just ordered your book by the way. Can't wait to get down to some serious revising.
Damn.... by gg	Oct 22nd, 2007 04:08:31 AM
I´d love to buy not just one copy, but one for myself, and one as a gift, but I cannot get the damn Lulu site to work! When I press the "Add to cart" button, the browser just goes white, and keeps hanging on the page loading. What to do?
That was weird by gg	Oct 22nd, 2007 04:12:42 AM
Apparently I just had to make a post complaining about it here on AICN. Now it works! Awesome! I´m looking forward to watching Urban Justice too, and love to hear that the ponytail has gotten back at least a sizeable part of his old thunder. I´m one of those freaks that think that Out for justice is probably the best action movie ever. Yes, that means better even than Die Hard. Or on par. Or something. Have to go finish my order for that book now.
If it resembles Out For Justice ... by Toby___Wong	Oct 22nd, 2007 12:46:39 PM
I will be a happy camper. Out For Justice is badass. A movie for guys. I just don't understand how Seagal doesn't get more badass roles instead of lots of weak ones. Once I would love to see a movie in which Seagal is the bad guy and takes on Jet Li, Jackie Chan and Jason Statham at once and kicks their asses. Now that would be cool.
DIGG SEAGALOGY by Bilblow	Oct 23rd, 2007 05:37:08 PM
http://www.lulu.com/content/13 07485 Get the word, muthas.
DIGG SEAGALOGY The Correct Way by Bilblow	Oct 23rd, 2007 05:38:55 PM
http://digg.com/celebrity/Seag alogy_Lulu_com In my haste and excitement, I posted the Lulu info in the post above. My bads.
I've taken Vern as my personal savior... by Master Darque	Oct 25th, 2007 03:12:57 PM
and so should the rest of you. In my opinion, his absolute funniest and most entertaining piece of writing (not to mention deadly accurate) would be his review of "The Secret". I wish that AICN would post that just to see the talkback that would ensue. It would be interesting to see just how many deluted dipshits there are that ascribe to that. But anyway, congratulations Vern. You're one of the most gifted writers currently putting pen to paper.
Seagalogy download version by wash	Nov 11th, 2007 02:46:58 PM
Vern, not sure if you knew this, but the download version doesn't include the front or back cover in the pdf. Very minor quibble, but I was wondering if you were aware.

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Vern Calls URBAN JUSTICE A Masterpiece!

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