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UPDATED!! ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK Remake Director Swap!! Who Could Be Worse Than Wiseman?? Oh...Wait...

First! by MetiphisLabs	Oct 4th, 2007 09:27:33 AM
My penis is large!
ugh by ultragoregrind	Oct 4th, 2007 09:28:16 AM
sorry - zero interest in a EFNY remake - good script or not. this will either be bad - or really bad.
Ugh. by BanAllFIRSTPosters	Oct 4th, 2007 09:29:01 AM
Ugh.
Die remakes Die! by Randall Flagg	Oct 4th, 2007 09:29:21 AM
Ya know... they could just re-release the original in to theaters and I bet 80-90% of theater goers wouldn't know the difference. "Wow, Kurt Russell's plastic surgeon must be in league with Satan!" Would save the studio a whole lot of time and money too.
LEAVE IT ALONE! by MetiphisLabs	Oct 4th, 2007 09:29:33 AM
Goddamn the remakes.
He can imitate another person's style just fine. by NinjaRap	Oct 4th, 2007 09:31:03 AM
See: Red Dragon. As such, I have no problem with this. Let him copy John Carpenter's style, and I'll be a happy camper.
Hell F'N YEAH!! by SkidMarkedUndies	Oct 4th, 2007 09:32:21 AM
Ratner KICKS ASS!!! No sarcasm necessary!
This is my most hated of all the remakes going around by Lost Jarv	Oct 4th, 2007 09:33:59 AM
Ratner? well, he is a mimic, so.... fucking hell, who am I kidding. Hope in this shit plummets by the second.
Wiseman vs Ratner by Midnightxpress	Oct 4th, 2007 09:34:57 AM
it's like comparing Dan Brown with Kelly Armstrong....both are bland, mainstream goons who don't have 1/10th of the talent the people they ape did...
It's official . . . by Nice Marmot	Oct 4th, 2007 09:39:44 AM
. . . Hollywood has a new focus other than money. They are actually striving to piss off fanboys. They want #1 at the box office and as many angry fans of the original as possible. Two birds, one stone.
x3 by PotSmokinAlien	Oct 4th, 2007 09:40:05 AM
that piece of trash should be enough for this jackass to never be let near an action movie again. and i don't even give a flying shit about the xmen.
What difference does it make? by Boba Fat	Oct 4th, 2007 09:41:43 AM
It's a very small and unique list of directors that could get me excited about this film and there's no chance of any of them doing it.
Relax, people...Ratner will be fine by SpyGuy	Oct 4th, 2007 09:43:20 AM
Time to cash in the reality check...John Carpenter is a director who made cheesy flicks interesting and fun to watch, that's all. He's no Spielberg, no Scorcese, or even no David Lynch. And as such, his films are definitely remakable, even by a mediocre mimic like Ratner. As long as the director is halfway competent, which Ratner has proven is his target potential, any remakes should be just fine. If the director isn't halfway competent, however, you get things like the new HALLOWEEN.
Hardly call Halloween a cheesy flick by DannyOcean01	Oct 4th, 2007 09:45:48 AM
.......
Why don't they get Wiseman AND Ratner by kwisatzhaderach	Oct 4th, 2007 09:46:11 AM
to each shoot a remake of EFNY and see who can make the worst version? They're both shocking directors.
It's been some week for the Hack Pack by Lost Jarv	Oct 4th, 2007 09:47:02 AM
Ratner gets EFNY, McG gets T4, Emmerich somehow still has a career, phenomenal, theres really no other word for it
I wouldn't call The Thing a cheesy film by Lost Jarv	Oct 4th, 2007 09:47:41 AM
WTF?
RE: Die Reamkes Die!!! by ZoeFan	Oct 4th, 2007 09:48:37 AM
I totally agree. I really don't understand even when films do get rereleased, why they don't get a bigger release. Who wouldn't want to see Blade Runner, Shawshank, the Godfather or Escape from New York? Especially if they didn't get a chance to see it when it was in the theater.
I hope it's PG-13! by Reload	Oct 4th, 2007 09:49:18 AM
I mean, if Wiseman were to direct it, we could get a bunch of 'darns' and 'shoots', along with plenty of bad lipsynching. But then again, Ratner evokes that line from Shakespeare. 'Full of Sound and Fury, Signifying Nothing'. Ratner's movies are too pop. They're pretty to look at, but are absolute crap films. What a waste of a franchise.
Why?! by Spango	Oct 4th, 2007 09:49:25 AM
Why remake this movie? What a waste of money...
Leave Ratner Alone! You want EFNY or the Godfather??? by mtoppi1975	Oct 4th, 2007 09:51:56 AM
...look, the guy makes decently entertaining popcorn fare and he comes in under or on-budget when he makes his films. Studios like directors like Ratner, Merrick, because he's profitable - and nobody has proved them otherwise yet. And, for what its worth, Nothing he's made has been so god-awful terrible that he doesn't deserve to remake Escape From New York... We're not handing him the reigns to "high art." EFNY is guns, explosions, and angry dudes in leather. Brett Ratner is perfect for the job!
Carpenter by kwisatzhaderach	Oct 4th, 2007 09:52:14 AM
may very well have been a journeyman director but he was an INSPIRED journeyman director that brought his own distinct GOOD viusal style to the projects he did. There's no way Ratner or Wiseman can be put in the same class as Carpenter. Assault on Precint 13, Halloween, The Fog, Escape From New York, The Thing are all amazing genre filcks. Hell, I even like Starman, Big Trouble in Little China, Prince of Darkness, They Live and In The Mouth of Madness. Carpenter was given a few bucks and knew how to use them to maximum effect. Ratner and Wiseman are given mega-money and don't have the creativity or imagination to do anything with the money. Sad.
Bad to worse, how true by Faust_8	Oct 4th, 2007 09:53:25 AM
next
I was hoping for Paul Anderson. by Some Dude	Oct 4th, 2007 09:56:16 AM
That would have been a great choice. Plus it would have made so many fanboys cry.
Has to be a wind up by Madines Sideshed	Oct 4th, 2007 09:58:06 AM
If there's one name that would make the fanboys howl it is Ratner. No way is this real. Wish the full remake idea wasn't either. Where's all the new ideas?
WILL THERE BE A PIMP CAR WITH CHANDELEIRS by gride9000	Oct 4th, 2007 09:58:53 AM
I will watch it just for that. I think a retard could get the trashy gritty style right. Who could beat the campy acting with Chef vs. Stuntman Mike Bliskin.
Consigned to the shitter... by KillaKane	Oct 4th, 2007 10:03:34 AM
At least Wiseman had a semblance of visual flair and his OTT approach to action would have made for some decent stunt set-ups in in this rehash. Ratner is just another rung down the ladder. 'They' need to make a bolder choice than that.
STOP remaking classics damnit! by Sulla	Oct 4th, 2007 10:03:56 AM
Has all originality been drained from the world? Can no one come up with an original idea anymore. Fucking assholes, juts go ahead and ruin everything for a quick buck. You should all be shot.
STARRING AS SNAKE: FRED WILLARD by gride9000	Oct 4th, 2007 10:04:50 AM
That dude's a straight up "G".
Just get Carpenter to do a new one by kwisatzhaderach	Oct 4th, 2007 10:06:58 AM
Kurt Russell showed in Death Proof that he could still do Snake no problem. Note for Carpenter: make it better than Escape From LA.
mtoppi1975 by ZoeFan	Oct 4th, 2007 10:08:30 AM
I agree...again. Yes, the guy makes the ULTIMATE in popcorn. But guess what, he makes LOADS of cash for the studios. And that's exactly what the studios are looking for.
There isn't a fucking prayer of Escape From Earth by Lost Jarv	Oct 4th, 2007 10:09:09 AM
ever surfacing with Kurt returning as Snake. And that makes me sad- especially when tools like Ratner keep ruining the originals.
STARRING AS SNAKE: ICE CUBE by gride9000	Oct 4th, 2007 10:09:58 AM
and Henry Rollins as "The Duke". Make it a rap/rock musical.
mtoppi1975 by kwisatzhaderach	Oct 4th, 2007 10:10:09 AM
Presumably you haven't seen X3 or the Rush Hour films...
Please somebody... by montimer	Oct 4th, 2007 10:11:07 AM
kill Brett Ratner. Do it now!!!
LostJarv by kwisatzhaderach	Oct 4th, 2007 10:12:11 AM
True, it's down to the ignorance of youth, all those 'suits' barely in their 30s with no clue about the movies. When we are all dead and buried people will wonder what the fuck was going on in Hollywood from the year 2000 onwards...
hahahahahha by ironic_name	Oct 4th, 2007 10:13:30 AM
mcg, rat-jew and bay are still working. time for north korea to "liberate" america.
and JAMIE KENNEDY as "CABBIE" by gride9000	Oct 4th, 2007 10:15:06 AM
excruciatingly great casting on my part. I heard he does his own stunts.
SAMULE L JACKSON as The Duke of New York by kwisatzhaderach	Oct 4th, 2007 10:16:22 AM
You know it's true.
MALCOLM MCDOWELL as The President by kwisatzhaderach	Oct 4th, 2007 10:17:18 AM
"You are The Duke!!!!! You are A Number 1!!!!!!!!"
I can't believe this by Bloo	Oct 4th, 2007 10:17:23 AM
no, I REFUSE to believe this. I'm going to pull and Alec Baldwin here and say that if the studios make EFNY with Ratner, I'm moving to Canada or India or somewhere wait...noone cares, they only care about the money well shit, we're in trouble because people will see this and I'll be sad
kwisatz- by Lost Jarv	Oct 4th, 2007 10:17:27 AM
This shit winds me up something chronic. I think it is in Foundation (but I could be wrong) where one character argues that the Empire is at an end (and due for collapse) because nobody creates anything new- they just rehash the same old shit over and over again. Ring any Bells?
I worked on the original "EFNY..." by Uncapie	Oct 4th, 2007 10:23:18 AM
...and it was one of my favorite experiences working on a film! I rememember every detail like it was yesterday. Great times and it was shot on $7 million dollars! Ratner is the wrong director for this film.
Uncapie by kwisatzhaderach	Oct 4th, 2007 10:24:58 AM
Who was Lowmoan Spectacular? He's one of the matte painters or SFX artists listed in the end credits. His name has always cracked me up.
oh yeah? well I'm kurt russel by ironic_name	Oct 4th, 2007 10:25:44 AM
I laugh.
Lost Jarv by kwisatzhaderach	Oct 4th, 2007 10:26:56 AM
Sounds familiar...haven't read the Foundation books since my school days though. Spot on though, exactly what is happening. Perhaps if the BO for Avatar is stellar the suits will realise it's sometimes worth backing a new idea?
Ratner's coke Tab runs higher than $7m by Lost Jarv	Oct 4th, 2007 10:27:05 AM
The whole thing's a fucking joke.
Kwiz by Lost Jarv	Oct 4th, 2007 10:29:02 AM
That's about when I last read them so I am unsure. The conversation came up in the pub the other night when I was whining about Halloween- so it is doubly uncertain. Please god, Avatar has to be both a good film and one that makes shit loads of cash- It's almost the last hope.
First posters............... by VERY METAL	Oct 4th, 2007 10:33:28 AM
Are closet homosexuals, seriously!
No pressure Jimbo by kwisatzhaderach	Oct 4th, 2007 10:35:16 AM
If anyone can pull it off, it's Cameron. In the meantime there's the new Jones and Batman flicks, which should be good, but still old ideas. Where is the next great franchise (hate that word) going to come from?
So that means Kate Beckinsale will not be Snake by kabong	Oct 4th, 2007 10:36:41 AM
But Hollyweird is not nearly finished messin' wit' ya yet.
Crap. by The Chosen	Oct 4th, 2007 10:39:45 AM
I remember seeing the making of "Red Dragon" and noticing the lack of creativety and just plain "let's get it done anyway we can" spirit of the director. Bad choice.
It should have been Serenity- but they fucked that up by Lost Jarv	Oct 4th, 2007 10:40:15 AM
It also could very easily have been Resident Evil, but they gave that to Andersen (ditto Alien), Tomb Raider should have been a gimme (Indiana Jones with tits- how could you fuck that up?), Which pretty much leaves Avatar. COME ON JAMES SAVE US ALL!!
At least they didn't hire... by tme2nsb	Oct 4th, 2007 10:40:32 AM
Paul WS Anderson or Uwe Boll, but yeah, this is going to be painful.
Blah blah blah by DigitalDong	Oct 4th, 2007 10:40:44 AM
according to this site there should only be 5 people directing...EVERYTHING!! And I find it funny how Cameron is brought up all the time. btw X3 was awesome, Ratner did it just like Singer would've. In other words he's a tool, "godly" directors end up getting all the control they want and turn out shit cough Sups Returns cough
Underworld? by Lost Jarv	Oct 4th, 2007 10:41:22 AM
Fucking hell, I am reaching now
kwisatzhaderach by mtoppi1975	Oct 4th, 2007 10:42:59 AM
Yes, I have seen X3 and the Rush Hour films. They held my attention for a while and I was entertained. I'm not expecting much from a movie starring Jackie Chan and a Chris Rock rip-off, nor was I ever expecting much from an X-Men comic book film Adaptation. (We got lucky with Singer's films... He spoiled us and I think our expectations were too high. X-Men films shouldn't have been much better than these Fantastic Four movies have been.) But I digress. There are some genuinely horrible filmmakers in this generation of cinema - I'm sure you can agree with me on that - I just don't think that Brett Ratner deserves as much of the ire as he has received. I wish him luck and can't wait to see his vision of Escape From New York starring that guy from 300. :-)
NEW LINE...WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!! by Sinisterjim	Oct 4th, 2007 10:43:09 AM
I can think of plenty Directors-for-hire that would be FAR FUCKING BETTER than either of those 2...the problem is, the really talented and cool ones won't touch a remake, especially of a Carpenter classic! So, we're left with the film whores! One hopes New Line wises up and shit cans Wiseman, doesn't even THINK about RATner and get's someone with a little more edge...gasp! Maybe an unknown who shows a lot of promise? GASP GASP!!!!
DigitalDong by kwisatzhaderach	Oct 4th, 2007 10:44:03 AM
Cameron is brought up all the time for a reason. He made great films. Unlike X3 which was a pile of tat. Although admittedly better than Superman Returns.
Lost Jarv by mtoppi1975	Oct 4th, 2007 10:44:06 AM
"Ratner's coke Tab runs higher than $7m"... You owe me a new keyboard! lol...
Hang on... by The Duke Of Madness	Oct 4th, 2007 10:46:57 AM
gride9000...I am not Henry Rollins. "Hi, I'm Henry Rollins, I've put out my 12th rock album and my 37th spoken word cd this week alone. I am a once interesting, now destroyed icon of rage that got punked out by David Fucking Duchovny. I mean, Mr. Tea "Five seconds of Hotness on Naked Truth where in actuality Holland Taylor was hotter than me" Leoni outdid Henry "Black Flag Rage" Rollins. Oh, and Bret Ratner couldn't do a worse job than Singer did on Superman Gets His Balls Cut Off. Could he?
ratner got blown by a tranny by ironic_name	Oct 4th, 2007 10:47:44 AM
so the movie could wind up being great.
Knew it! The minute I saw that heading. by Yeti	Oct 4th, 2007 10:48:27 AM
Ratner is like a Hollywood cockroach hard to kill and just when you think thats that out he comes crawling out of the woodwork.
tme2nsb by mtoppi1975	Oct 4th, 2007 10:49:31 AM
Amen on that, brother. Paul W.S. Anderson and Uwe Boll... who are they blowing that they still get to make movies? The only thing I can figure is that they'vegotten lucky making genre films that already have a built in fan base who couldn't care less about quality product.
X3 is always bought up when Ratner is mentioned by Lost Jarv	Oct 4th, 2007 10:53:05 AM
and rightly so. It was shit. It was, however, far better than SR. I was talking about this the other day, and if it has (and I mean absolutely has) to be done- give it to Neil Marshall. But I nominate him for everything
Lost Jarv by kwisatzhaderach	Oct 4th, 2007 10:53:59 AM
Good choice. His new project is very much like EFNY.
hoe 'bout penny marshall by ironic_name	Oct 4th, 2007 10:55:45 AM
she was laverne, wasn't she?
HOW 'bout penny marshall by ironic_name	Oct 4th, 2007 10:56:34 AM
hehehehe, "hoe."
Better Ratner than ... by thepentaveret	Oct 4th, 2007 10:56:35 AM
Renny Harlin, McG, or Joel Schumacher. But not much better.
There are a few other candidates by Lost Jarv	Oct 4th, 2007 10:56:59 AM
Despite what that review of Doomsaday said I'm still shelling out for it. Neil Marshall is the great white hope. There are a few other candidates (Danny Boyle) but I like to believe that none of them (Marshall included)would touch this shit with a bargepole. But then I thought no-one would have the fucking TEMERITY to remake Halloween,
rush hour was passable by ironic_name	Oct 4th, 2007 10:58:18 AM
rh 2 wasn't. rat-face seems to be getting worse.
I guess you dont like the Halloween remake Jarv? by kwisatzhaderach	Oct 4th, 2007 10:59:14 AM
I'll never even watch it, as soon as I saw that trailer I knew I never had to see that 'film' in my life. Marshall is a terrific director, The Descent was an awesome flick, a prime example of what can be done with a little money and a lot of imagination.
...just one more point: by mtoppi1975	Oct 4th, 2007 11:00:11 AM
... as much as we would all love for some fantastic visionary filmmaker to come out of the wood works to bring his brilliance to one of our dream projects, that's just not the way Hollywood thinks. Hell, look at how easily New Line would have tossed the Hobbit into the lap of another director other than Peter Jackson! Every once in a while, one of our dreams come true: Lexi Alexander is inspiring as the director of the new Punisher film, Sam Raimi made a brilliant pair of Spider Man films (and a lackluster third, but whatever), and someone from Universal had the bals to give Geroge Romero some money to follow up Day of the Dead after all those years. But for everything that we dream for, we get disappointed, too. I say give Ratner a chance. I can't imagine that he would be so far off the mark as to make people walk out of a movie theater. There's brilliance there - between the (coke) lines and when he's not sniffing up Paris Hilton's ass trying as hard as he can to get some of that no-personality having pussy, there's brilliance...
Could be worse, could be Paul W S Anderson! by HarryBlackPotter	Oct 4th, 2007 11:00:18 AM
Or Uwe Boll, or McG, or Joel Shitmacher...goddamn, never realised before how many shit directors there are!
Quick Trivia Question: by Aquatarkusman	Oct 4th, 2007 11:00:45 AM
In which year was the original Escape from New York set? 1997! So I'll bet Ratner will use the same year and call it a historicamagraphical recreationing. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF THIS COMMENT?
I refuse to watch it by Lost Jarv	Oct 4th, 2007 11:00:54 AM
I saw a stupid programme on ITV about it and nearly vomited on my new table. that was more than enough footage of that shit.
That's bollocks by RobFromBackEast	Oct 4th, 2007 11:03:40 AM
Don't believe it for a second. And quit with the Wiseman bashing - it's fuckin old man
RobFromBackEast by kwisatzhaderach	Oct 4th, 2007 11:05:01 AM
Are you Kate Beckinsale?
Rob by Lost Jarv	Oct 4th, 2007 11:07:00 AM
I hope you're right man.
Its 9am by Turd Furgeson	Oct 4th, 2007 11:08:54 AM
and I am going to start drinking heavily after reading this... I am speachless....
Hollywood's Mission Statement by Turd Furgeson	Oct 4th, 2007 11:09:45 AM
Why strive for excellence when you can settle for mediocrity??
Oh my Buddha! by The Duke Of Madness	Oct 4th, 2007 11:14:13 AM
I read this, went into a coma and woke up weeping for Sam Fuller. God I miss that man's talent.
Turd Furgeson by kwisatzhaderach	Oct 4th, 2007 11:14:23 AM
Excellent, spot on!
yes, but they aren't settling for mediocrity by Lost Jarv	Oct 4th, 2007 11:16:34 AM
Their actively fucking aiming at it. Why strive for excellence (which could be costly) when we can cynically bang out mediocrity and the cretins that flock to shit like Rush Hour 3 (3! for fucks sake) won't care about the difference. I blame the rise of marketing for this.
Fucking hell by Lost Jarv	Oct 4th, 2007 11:19:04 AM
I came over al Memories of Murder then. Sorry.
even eli roth by palewook	Oct 4th, 2007 11:21:48 AM
would be a better choice.
Wow...could this get worse?? by TedSallis	Oct 4th, 2007 11:46:11 AM
It's worse! Mebbe we'll get Duke rapping now (Rappin Duke?? Ha Ha Ha) Ohh man...
Hi. Kwiz.... by Uncapie	Oct 4th, 2007 11:56:50 AM
Wow, Even I don't know that one. Although, the matte paintings were actually done by this nice woman who later died of cancer. I worked with the Skotek brothers(Incredibly talented.) creating the city of New York in the Black Hole(A sound stage down at Corman's lumber yard studio.) out of pasted xeroxes on wood and shoe boxes to create the buildings. The Gulfstream cockpit was created with black duabtine hung over a plastic shell that was part of a helicopter windshield, two lights covered with gels and a joystick that I found out in Keltonville(A junkyard we had on the lot named after a carpenter, Roger Kelton who busted his ass off and organized the place.) We also shot a lot of second unit close ups on Station 19. Kurt was very cool on the set, as was Dean Cundy and Carpenter. I remember Cundy walked in with this Macy's bag and produced the .357 that Snake uses. I asked him when Macy's started selling those and if I could get one. He called me a punk. I called him "Dirty Dean." It was one big family. Dean asked me if there were any good movies to watch. I said, "Check out 'Scanners.' Its pretty good(It had just come out and they knew I was a film geek.)." Kurt said, "In thirty seconds, you'll turn into John Carpenter(A version of the tag line for the film.)" and started shaking. Everyone laughed. Later, after everything was shot, Carpenter treated us to dinner at Buffallo Chips(A burger place that doesn't exist anymore.). Just a bunch of guys hanging out after work. My pacheck was $160.00 a week(Before taxes.). Long hours and hard work, but I do it all again. It was the best of times and sadly, there isn't anything that will be like it again. Studios have become too corporate and have sucked the soul out of the creative culture that makes films like this endearing like a vampire. When I applied for a job on the sequel( I knew Debra Hill very well who gave me an oustanding reference.) I didn't get hired because I was too old by some pencil pushing prick that didn't know an F stop from a bus stop. taht fact that I could have run circles around those idiots because I had a ton of experience didn't matter and neither did loyalty. I had a feeling that the sequel would suck with those kind of people surrounding Carpenter and Debra and I was right. The creative, family atmosphere was gone and it was just about money and profit from the studio bigwigs. Sadly, that's what will happen to the remake.
Zack Snyder or Pete Berg by McGsStepson	Oct 4th, 2007 12:03:01 PM
Over the top action style and grittiness indicative of each of these directors could actually be right for this project.
Ratner- Grade C director by Darth Sicilian	Oct 4th, 2007 12:04:16 PM
If you look at Brett Ratner's resume you don't see one film that that shows greatness or creativity. What you see are bland “increase corporate bottom line” products. If you want an incredibly average film (that will probably turn a small profit but will get a lukewarm reception) pick Ratner. This project seems right up Robert Rodriguez's alley. I wonder if he passed on it.
does it even matter anymore? by MC-909	Oct 4th, 2007 12:12:51 PM
Not to be so glib, but bitching about remakes is getting us nowhere. Hollywood will do whatever it wants. They thrive on the bottom dollar more than ever so why even fight it? I say from here on out, us geeks should not associate any remake with the original material. We should hold originals (like EFNY) close and simply disregard any remakes. In other words, remakes don't count as real movies and therefore aren't worth the time and effort put into bitching about them. Oh, and fuck Brett Ratner, the pudgy motherfucker.
I'D RATHER HAVE PENNY MARSHALL THAN BRETT RATNER by BringingSexyBack	Oct 4th, 2007 12:13:49 PM
direct this thing. What a joke these fucking remakes are.
I was hoping you'd say the remake itself was a RUMOR by ye olde shiza	Oct 4th, 2007 12:14:30 PM
Damn it all to Hell.
You know you're getting old when... by googamooga	Oct 4th, 2007 12:17:59 PM
The endless remakes do not interest you in the least. Now I know how my Dad felt when he didn't want to see the 1981 version of The Thing (even though it WAS better than the original, lol...)
IF BRETT RATNER... by WISEBLOOD	Oct 4th, 2007 12:32:54 PM
Directs this flick, I wont see it in the theaters, and I'll burn a copy of the dvd. I wont put a fucking NICKLE in that no talent piece of shits pockets, or the studios that insist on hiring him.
I'm turning the gas on now... by Kirbymanly	Oct 4th, 2007 12:38:40 PM
WHAT THE FUCK?! Who the fuck was sitting behind a large desk saying, "You know who could do this...? Brett Ratner."
I looked over at Kurt Russell.....AND HE AIN`T LAUGHING by Elgyn6655321	Oct 4th, 2007 12:41:55 PM
So this is NOT okay. I hate Ratner. I would seriously rather have Paul Anderson. Seriously.
i'd personally rate ratner by misnomer	Oct 4th, 2007 12:49:58 PM
i'd personally rate ratner over wiseman. at least ratner can imitate and the whole movie wont be fucking blue filtered. still...they need someone ALOT better to do this. (even though it just shouldnt be getting made)
Merrick... by Vamp-AICNchat	Oct 4th, 2007 12:55:27 PM
...if you could do a better job than Ratner why don't you go for it? Another thing, have you seen DIE HARD 4? I think Wiseman done a great job on it.
Note to self: by Wrecks	Oct 4th, 2007 01:19:10 PM
Turn on oven, insert head.
Ratner? by jasper Stillwell	Oct 4th, 2007 01:22:44 PM
Might as well give it to that other fool, Zack Snyder...if it were me Danny Boyle would be the man for the job.
Brett Ratner? by redfang	Oct 4th, 2007 01:25:33 PM
I heard you were dead!
HarryBlackPotter by tme2nsb	Oct 4th, 2007 01:29:02 PM
I beat you to the first two, but you're right, a lot of bad directors, and that's not including the so called "big name" directors either. They should just make: Escape from Paris (Hilton) instead of "remaking" or "reimagining" movies...this is worse than Michael fucking Bay "REMAKING" F13..
Brett Ratner is the Orson Welles of our time by Amadeo Zeller	Oct 4th, 2007 01:29:16 PM
Stop your blind irrational hatred. It's tiresome.
Armadeo Zeller by kwisatzhaderach	Oct 4th, 2007 01:35:22 PM
Yup, Money Talks was sure of equivalent quality to Citizen Kane.
Escape to Playboy Mansion by Maui	Oct 4th, 2007 01:46:31 PM
No further comment.
Memories by kwisatzhaderach	Oct 4th, 2007 01:49:38 PM
I'm assuming so, but you never can tell with some of the guys on here...
Checkyr is full of shit by ATARI	Oct 4th, 2007 01:58:00 PM
there -- I said it
Wiseman is the next Micheal Bay by Agent Blue	Oct 4th, 2007 01:59:40 PM
His movies are slick, stylish, action packed, and he can't handle characters for dick. Give him Gears of War and let it be the next Transformers, because the next Transformers is going to be the next Pluto Nash.
At least it's not Rob Zombie. by oceanic86	Oct 4th, 2007 02:00:18 PM
But yeah, X3 was embarassingly, infuriatingly bland and mediocre. I really hate Ratner.
John Carpenter by antonphd	Oct 4th, 2007 02:09:38 PM
The worst thing about this... is that John Carpenter has been given the chance to remake his own films and his remakes sucked so bad that nobody is even thinking of letting him remake Escape From New York.
Escape From New York by antonphd	Oct 4th, 2007 02:13:30 PM
To bad this movie is going to just be remade into a splashy action movie. I watched it the other week and considering current politics in the US it could be remade as an action movie and political satire and it would actually be relevant. Oh well.
Snake Plissken gets a blowjob from a transvestite and by godoffireinhell	Oct 4th, 2007 02:17:24 PM
oh whatever
God, that's a scary headline. by Harry Weinstein	Oct 4th, 2007 02:19:55 PM
I was expecting Paul What Shite Anderson, or the Antichrist himself, Michael Bay. Brett Ratner actually is a teeny, tiny improvement. Not good, mind you, but not the director of LIVE FREE OR SUCK HARD either.
IESB "confirmed" this on their site. by Kal El Vis	Oct 4th, 2007 02:58:45 PM
Take that for what it's worth.
"Brett Ratner actually is a teeny, tiny improvement" by Agent Blue	Oct 4th, 2007 03:04:22 PM
Over having my ass hair seared of with Ratner's curling iron.
I'd rather have Ratner than Wiseman. by TheNorthlander	Oct 4th, 2007 03:11:19 PM
That's how much I didn't like that last Bruce Willis movie.
Memories-Of-Murder by TheNorthlander	Oct 4th, 2007 03:14:29 PM
A lot of people like Underworld and Die Hard 4. I'm not one of them, but I know a few and they're actually decent people. But hey, a lot of people like PotC and Harry Potter too.
Sounds like... by Boromir187	Oct 4th, 2007 03:40:25 PM
...bullshit to me.
Shitty news indeed. by a goonie	Oct 4th, 2007 03:43:25 PM
But then again, it's a fucking Escape from New York remake. Even if the script is good, I'd rather see another sequel or another movie that steals inspiration from it or something, rather than a remake. Nobody does Carpenter like Carpenter and remaking his movies seems a little pointless to me. But I'm a huge Carpenter fan, so you know... big surprise. But that said, if an Escape from New York remake has to happen, then I'd like to see something interesting, something to warrant a new take. Ratner is certainly not that. I'm not an all-out Ratner-hater. In fact, I've enjoyed a good amount of his movies. It's just that the guy is stunningly unoriginal and brings little more to a project than a generic visual style and an ability to churn out a product that puts smiles on studio execs' faces. Oh, and he made a crap X-Men film that shit all over the Dark Phoenix storyline and wasted newcomers Beast and Angel. Fuck, that movie pisses me off. So yeah, while I don't hate Ratner, hearing his name attached to a project gives me no excitement or hope. And while Wiseman is yet to make a truly ass-kicking picture, the guy did show some promise with Die Hard 4, so I would have been happier with him at the helm.
Does anyone know what Ratner gets per film? by I am_NOTREAL	Oct 4th, 2007 03:55:45 PM
I can only assume it must not be that much, as I've yet to see one frame of a Ratner movie that explained to me why this guy keeps getting work. It's got to be related to the bottom line.
Instead Of Remaking EVERY John Carpenter Movie.... by thelordofhell	Oct 4th, 2007 04:00:56 PM
Why don't these Hollywood dipshits just give John a bunch of money and make a NEW classic? But noooooo, instead we get this blowjob of a remake that follows the other remake abortions that came before. Dear God, stop this shit before we get "Big Trouble In Little China" the musical.
BRETT RATNER FOR EFNY by marcomc2	Oct 4th, 2007 04:02:53 PM
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Who cares if the source is real... by Alonzo Mosely	Oct 4th, 2007 04:08:59 PM
We just want a reason to complain and a talkback to do it in, and we are happy...
Jesus, Isn't there any original ideas left??! by CloneRangerUK	Oct 4th, 2007 04:16:44 PM
Just a thought Hollywood! I would rather see a chance taken on an so-far-unfilmed script, than remake something already classic that millions of people have already seen & a modern day remake has no chance in hell of surpassing! What is the f'ing point! Or is it just me?
Never mind Escape from Earth, as a title what about.... by CloneRangerUK	Oct 4th, 2007 04:19:32 PM
Escape from the U.S.A.? Makes more sense to me after N.Y. & L.A........
Hey, you assholes bashing Brett Ratner by AlwaysThere	Oct 4th, 2007 04:51:54 PM
You're broken record act is really making a difference. He continues to get work and people still see his movies, whether it be box office receipts or DVD sales. I think all of you idiots would be better off singing the praises of an up and coming director/no name director that deserves his spot in the spotlight. If you aren't going to do something worthwhile like that, then shut the fuck up. Never post in a talkback about him, don't watch any of his movies because that will really affect him, and stop thinking about him. You're lives, if you have one will be much better because of that.
Big Trouble In Little China (the Musical) by Maui	Oct 4th, 2007 04:55:47 PM
That...I'll pay to see.
NOOOOOOO! by kafka07	Oct 4th, 2007 05:10:56 PM
I yelled that in my best Darth Vader impression.
Ratner's Red Dragon sucked by kafka07	Oct 4th, 2007 05:14:12 PM
It was a soulless turd. The book is marvelous however. And the loosely based 80's tv movie, Manhunter, rules supreme over Ratner's turdfest.
REMAKES by tme2nsb	Oct 4th, 2007 06:05:16 PM
Can someone PLEASE explain to me the purpose of remakes? They're always shittier (The Thing was NOT a a remake, it had the same source material based on the novella "Who Goes There?", and if you call it a remake of "The Thing from Another World" I'm gonna have to kill you, because you are wrong) Has Hollyweird ran out of original ideas?
Holy god. by Jack Burton	Oct 4th, 2007 06:09:05 PM
That is just wrong. I wonder when Ratner sold his soul to the devil because there is no way his "talent" has gotten him here.
Arguments, not grammar. by ironic_name	Oct 4th, 2007 06:23:58 PM
clearly. [that bite me in the ass later ONE!]
DAMN YOU HOLLYWOOD, DAMN YOU TO HELL! by Lornsorrow	Oct 4th, 2007 06:33:31 PM
Screw this remake, above all others, screw this. No respect for a classic, for the actors involved, for the sequel that could be done and everyone wants, etc. Just wait, the next thing ya know, Snake will turn out to be a chick called Starbuck. Damn you Hollywood, Damn you to hell.
So over the Ratner hate... by Paul T. Ryan	Oct 4th, 2007 07:25:03 PM
Please tell me just what is so terrible about Brett Ratner's work? And do most of you hate him just because certain columnists for this site do?
WHAT IS SO TERRIBLE ABOUT BRETT RATNER'S WORK? by BringingSexyBack	Oct 4th, 2007 07:29:59 PM
For one thing, he fucks horses. That ain't right. Not right at all.
BRETT RATNER IS THE CHESTER ARTHUR STILES OF HOLLYWOOD by BringingSexyBack	Oct 4th, 2007 07:30:40 PM
You know this to be true.
Why a remake? by Childe Roland	Oct 4th, 2007 08:03:23 PM
Why not just have a younger Snake escaping from some other city using the original Escape from LA script we go t a look at recently? That clone ending could explain why the younger Snake doesn't look quite like the Snake we get in the two later films. And if this movie's a hit, a prequel to a prequel starring the same young kid, escapinmg from yet another city (Leningrad?). The possibilities of the new far outweigh the unmined potential of the old in this case.
OMFG BRETT RATNER??? by Geek Sodomizer	Oct 4th, 2007 08:23:27 PM
Is this some kind of cruel hoax? I kinda liked the first couple Rush Hour movies but c'mon! This guy is completely wrong for this project. So WTF is this gonna be PG-13 now?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!
man oh man by BadMrWonka	Oct 4th, 2007 08:28:03 PM
it's like eating so much shitty mexican food that when you feel the rumble in your stomach, you don't know which end it's coming out of...either way, it's gonna burn...
This has been the worst week EVER! by Allfather Starr	Oct 4th, 2007 08:29:27 PM
My god, first that shitty dreadalien, then the near dark news, then the T4 story, now this. Fuck me, all our favourite movies are getting absolutely ruined. What next, an update on just how shitty that Preacher tv series is going to be?
fucked by Judge Briggs	Oct 4th, 2007 09:04:18 PM
mother fucked
This is (relatively) good news by Fixxxer	Oct 4th, 2007 09:21:01 PM
Look, I don't like what Brett Ratner did with "X-Men" either, but his "Rush Hour" films and "Red Dragon" are all far, far better than everything Len Wiseman has directed. "Live Free or Die Hard" was by far the worst of the series, and the "Underworld" movies managed to suck all the excitement out of a premise that should have been pure gold.
Maybe we can have Ratner by Reload	Oct 4th, 2007 09:23:41 PM
Maybe we can have Ratner combine movies, so we get X:MEN vs. Rush Hour 4 vs Snake Pliskin: Requiem. I, for one, can't wait to watch a barely intelligible Jackie Chan scream profanities are Magneto, all while Snake grimaces in the backround. I'd rather watch a 24 hour Gilbert Gottfried marathon than anything more by Ratner I unfortunately saw Xmen United, and sadly can't get those 2 hours of my life back.
Last! by Little Dick Wick	Oct 4th, 2007 09:49:03 PM
Brett Ratner is ballin' like dat PS Triple!!! Chad Warden all about GAMES!!!!11!one/!!shift1!1
What is Mostow doing these days? by Wed Vid Guy	Oct 4th, 2007 09:58:25 PM
T3 and Breakdown were great films and I can see his style being perfect for Escape. Totally serious here.
This movie needs a savior!! by Turd Furgeson	Oct 4th, 2007 10:24:52 PM
This movie needs someone who can do dirty and gritty and moody and not be afraid to be campy when needed and throw hard core voilence in your face... This movie needs.................... David Fincher Nuf Said.
to the tune of bring back my bonnie to me... by ironburl	Oct 5th, 2007 12:15:56 AM
Ratner got blown by a tranny, and Uwe got blown by a jew, Who cares who they fuck with in private, Th' problem's they're screwin' us too! OOOOohh bring back, bring back, some other fucking direeeec-ectors!
Talentless hack by wash	Oct 5th, 2007 12:35:20 AM
Seriously. WTF.
I put the name brett ratner in a anagram generator by Mr_X	Oct 5th, 2007 01:45:15 AM
and it came up with "talentless fuck", even though its completely different letters. how wierd is that?
Worse than Wiseman? Michael Bay by CuervoJones	Oct 5th, 2007 02:04:10 AM
DAMN YOU MICHAEL BAY
Worse than Ratner? Michael Bay by CuervoJones	Oct 5th, 2007 02:07:13 AM
Bay has no cojones.
Red Dragon was an OK remake! by Jesson	Oct 5th, 2007 02:47:06 AM
Remember? The casting was absolutely brilliant and Ratner caught the atmosphere of SOTL pretty good! Why shouldn't he be able to do that again!? I'm actually against the remaking of EFNY - I love this movie... Eventhough it is VERY eighties it still holds up!! If Hollywood believes the world cannot do without this remake, Ratner is not such a piss poor choice as some of you guys are making it!
Red Dragon was NOT OK by Lost Jarv	Oct 5th, 2007 03:49:54 AM
It was a soulless, odious, cynical, trite, overproduced, shitty return to the well. Manhunter pisses all over anything Ratner is capable of doing. I'm fucking sick of idiots citing Red Dragon as some sort of justification for Ratner's utter shittiness.
Atleast it's not Uwe Boll... by Stalkeye	Oct 5th, 2007 05:35:22 AM
And as for the guy suggesting Paul Anderson...same difference as Ratner. Paul had his chance with AVP and fucked it up royally. However I second Samuel Jackson as Duke of NY "What's my name mutha fucker" President; "You are the dke of new york, you're A number 1" Duke: "shit negro, that's all you had to say.."
I already wrote one rant on how useless Ratner is by RockLobster800	Oct 5th, 2007 05:38:56 AM
like, last week....I cant get that angry about him again....but I will say that its a damn shame the standard of major hollywood directors for big projects has dropped. Yeah, we still have Nolan, Raimi, Pete Jackson and Bryan Singer despite the major recent backlash against him, but seriously I have to write off certain projects immediatly cos Hollywood will pickup a hack for hire rather than get a good director. Everyday its, "Mc G is doing this....." "Len Wiseman is...." "Brett Ratner is..." "Marcus Nispel might...." and the inevitable "Michael Bay is producing a remake of.....". I mean, why OOOHH WHy are these guys stil major players?...I know there are good nay great directors out there, but their films are small (not that I have a problem with that, I love my indie cinema as much as the next guy) but their MAJOR projects, the ones that should be teaching the majority of the public about the emotional and intellectual parts of cinema, are getting farther and farther in between....I mean look at Hollywood in the 70's for a comparison....Christ even the '80's (say what you like about Zemeckis, Joe Dante or Ivan Reitman but when they delivered major blockbusters, they fucking DELIVERED)...but MAJOR films nowadays either lack the balance between excitement, social comment and story or, for the most part, are complete crap. And this remake trend is taking the ones that got it right and ballsing them up....wow, this turned into a lot bigger rant that previosuly expected.
ratner by Fineus Fog	Oct 5th, 2007 06:18:54 AM
can fuck off!. I read an interview wit him (yeah I was fucken bored) adn he came off like a drooling fucken idiot. EFNY is one of my favs from childhood and if ratners involved my moneys going elswhere. Maybe I should 10 bucks worth of crisps, money better spent I think
Xmen 3 was class and Ratner will do a great Job by bongo123	Oct 5th, 2007 07:02:06 AM
like to see you lot do any better...
bunch of net hiding pussie wannabe directors by bongo123	Oct 5th, 2007 07:05:17 AM
the lotta ye, who gives a flying fuck what childhood film gets remade, hollywood owns your asses and at the end of the day they will get your money one way or another
This is the formula Hollywood !!! by Darth Sicilian	Oct 5th, 2007 07:11:31 AM
Dear Hollywood Suits: Brett Ratner+ EFNY Remake= A marginally profitable one time film. A talented director who can rise to the level of the source material be cause he loves the original + EFNY remake= A probable blockbuster with a great franchise potential You should burn your MBAs if you can't grasp the concept of putting out high quality product that will have customers coming back again and again versus selling a crap product for a quick onetime profit.
bongo123 by RockLobster800	Oct 5th, 2007 07:46:36 AM
exactly, the fact that theyre getting peoples money (including yours) for (re)making shite doesnt piss you off at all? Cos that the problem. and X3 was alright, it had the infinite potential to be better, but was rushed cos the studios wanted to get it out as fast as possible. and Ratner wont do a good job. See-everything he's made.
bongo123 by Lost Jarv	Oct 5th, 2007 08:09:56 AM
X3 was class? are you mad? The best thing you can say about X3 is that it pissed all over SR. That doesn't make it good. And on the like you lot could do any better shite: To paraphrase Dr. Johnson- You don't have to be a carpenter to know a bad table
after the update by Lost Jarv	Oct 5th, 2007 08:11:44 AM
Sheesh. Maybe this will get lodged in development hell
I can't wait to hear Snake say... by arrangedletters	Oct 5th, 2007 08:14:37 AM
"Can you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?"
Re-imagine THIS! by Virdon	Oct 5th, 2007 08:21:25 AM
nm
WHY Tarantino? by Blood T Cat	Oct 5th, 2007 08:31:20 AM
Are you fucking kidding? Someone seriously suggested Tarantino? Yeah, that's what I want, Snake Plissken making cracks about Jack Hill movies and talking for 45 minutes.
WHY Tarantino? by Blood T Cat	Oct 5th, 2007 08:31:25 AM
Are you fucking kidding? Someone seriously suggested Tarantino? Yeah, that's what I want, Snake Plissken making cracks about Jack Hill movies and talking for 45 minutes.
Well by Turd Furgeson	Oct 5th, 2007 09:17:33 AM
Looks like i'll be drinking again today..... all the talented young directors in the world to make this somewhat original, and they get the corporate monkey to direct it... sigh.
coming soon to an internet torrent near you! by ironic_name	Oct 5th, 2007 09:44:18 AM
very near. wow. this movie has tanked before its gone into motion.
That cake scene in Family Man.... by TheOregonUndertaker	Oct 5th, 2007 09:47:47 AM
...Nic Cage and Tea Leoni slathering each other with chocolate cake. And then he doesn't even get to keep his family at the end. Fuckin' Don Cheadle, man.
CHEADLE! by ironic_name	Oct 5th, 2007 09:52:05 AM
RICK ROLLED!
Yes, but that means he would have to spend time by Lost Jarv	Oct 5th, 2007 10:24:48 AM
in your company. Why on Earth would anyone want to do that?
Yes, but that means he would have to spend time by Lost Jarv	Oct 5th, 2007 10:24:50 AM
in your company. Why on Earth would anyone want to do that?
fucken double post by Lost Jarv	Oct 5th, 2007 10:26:08 AM
I'm not even sure it was funny enough to warrant a single post.
DARTH SICILIAN IS RIGHT by sarajevobot	Oct 5th, 2007 10:35:48 AM
If those idiots put in a little time and care to make this an actual good movie, they will make more money and have a possible franchise on their hands. No one will give a shit in the long term about a Brett Ratner EFNY. It will make a few bucks, and then that'll be it. I'm wracking my brains to try and think of a director who could handle this properly and i'm coming up empty so far. Maybe Peter Berg?
Didn't I say this YESTERDAY? by Kal El Vis	Oct 5th, 2007 11:01:02 AM
IESB "confirmed" this on their site. by Kal El Vis Oct 4th, 2007 02:58:45 PM I guess I did.
Oh man by TattooedBillionaire	Oct 5th, 2007 01:49:37 PM
Hollywood really hates me. They know exactly what I don't want to see and go with it. I expect Ratner will initially want to tone down the coolness of Snake and make sure that Chris Tucker will be his sidekick. Hilarity will ensure!!!!!
Oh man by TattooedBillionaire	Oct 5th, 2007 01:49:51 PM
Hollywood really hates me. They know exactly what I don't want to see and go with it. I expect Ratner will initially want to tone down the coolness of Snake and make sure that Chris Tucker will be his sidekick. Hilarity will ensue!!!!!
Damn! by TattooedBillionaire	Oct 5th, 2007 01:51:11 PM
Sorry for the double-post!
idiots by mrbong	Oct 5th, 2007 02:14:12 PM
have you not worked this out yet? they are going to spend $20million making the film to generate more than double that amount on the back of sales of the original in DVD Blu Ray, HD-DVD and fucking Beta as a protest against this remake. a clever marketing strategy, and we have all been suckered into the marketing for it.
Why not give it to Russell Mulcahy? by TheNorthlander	Oct 5th, 2007 02:23:50 PM
Highlander fucking rocks.
X3 and Red Dragon are proof that.... by wackybantha	Oct 5th, 2007 03:29:04 PM
..Ratner can make an ok movie with bad to average scripts. Now, if they actually give him a good one, which Merrick says this is, then I say lets give this guy the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's ever been given a good script. I think they intentionally give him the bad ones because he has shown he can make money with bad ones. For that, I give him credit.
Not worried. by mrfan	Oct 5th, 2007 04:00:25 PM
They can remake this movie all they want. The first one is the best. Always will be. Nothing can touch it. Funny to see studios greenlight remakes. Playing it safe will get the industry nowhere. How about something original?
Please someone send a terminator back in time to kill by Judge Dredds Dirty Undies	Oct 5th, 2007 04:02:37 PM
Ratner, or just kill him in the present...
Either one would be fine by monorail77	Oct 5th, 2007 04:08:17 PM
I actually think Ratner will do, not only a very good job, but a btter one that Wiseman. Wiseman's films, so far, while fun, are a bit of a mess - lots of awkward or missed beats. Ratner doesn't have this problem. He's enthusiastic and tells good, tight stories. I'm all for this.
So Kurt Russel walks in and catches Ratner snorting by Stuntcock Mike	Oct 5th, 2007 04:21:04 PM
coke off Gerald Butler's six-pack abs? What then?
Memories-Of-Murder by TheNorthlander	Oct 5th, 2007 05:44:13 PM
Resident Evil 3 isn't badly directed. The script is bad, but it's written by the W.S. guy. I'm not a Resident Evil fan, I watched part of the first but turned it off. Not much into the games either. But RE3 was actually watchable, and the jump-scares were well choreographed, the actors did a decent job with what they had, and I think a lot of the good stuff in that we owe to Russell. As for Highlander 2, well yeah between 1991 and 1999 (when the phantom menace arrived) it was the worst sequel ever. But if you look at it as just another non-highlander sci-fi movie but with the same cast and crew, it's not half bad. They just need to remove any evidence of Highlander in it. I think he'd be a better choice than Ratner or McG, and a more likely one than say Proyas, Verhoeven, Snyder, Rodriguez or Cameron.
Fuuuucckk Thiiiisss!!!! by Knuckleduster	Oct 7th, 2007 02:24:45 PM
Jesus, I swear to god, that cunt Ratfuck is going out of his way to fuck up the entire history of cinema! Sorry, just found out...
SUNK! by metaluna	Oct 31st, 2007 07:59:57 PM
Captain, she's been holed below the water line and no amount of bailing will keep her afloat! Arrr... she was a promising ship until that no mark Ratner got his hands on her. Arrr. This ship be doomed... DOOMED I tell ye. ABANDON SHIIIIP. Glug glug glug.
Is the site on some kind of time warp by blindambition238	Oct 31st, 2007 08:05:38 PM
All of todays (Oct 31) articles have been replaced by these old ass ones
blindambition238 by slone13	Oct 31st, 2007 08:21:01 PM
I totally felt a shift in the space-time continuum. We're in the present but Aint It Cool is 3 weeks in the past. There's gotta be some way to make some fast money from this... Grey's Sports Almanac style kind of shit...
to Iammrmonkey... by DuncanDisorderly	Oct 31st, 2007 08:26:56 PM
the words "rob zombie" and "halloween" spring to mind...
It seems like a time warp... by Bobo_Vision	Oct 31st, 2007 08:28:01 PM
...because I'm just really drunk. Thats why it seems like a time warp to you guys. When I sober up, all will be normal.

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