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Matinees With Moriarty! Wrestles Naked With Cronenberg’s EASTERN PROMISES And Boards The 3:10 TO YUMA!

i was first.. by Internet Thug	Sep 20th, 2007 07:11:02 AM
to fuck your mother
second by Delusion	Sep 20th, 2007 07:14:26 AM
I agree. I kinda wanted more in the end. Oh well..
Eastern Promises sounds interesting... by just pillow talk	Sep 20th, 2007 07:21:54 AM
and since I liked History of Violence, I'll have to check this one out at some point. I think Aragorn is good in these type of movies.
Can't wait to see Yuma by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	Sep 20th, 2007 07:23:39 AM
Crowe AND Bale. Fuckin reason to see it right there!
Looking forward to the JESSE JAMES review by kwisatzhaderach	Sep 20th, 2007 07:24:44 AM
in the meantime, Cronenberg rules. One of the most under-appreciated filmmakers of the last thirty years.
kwisatzhaderach by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	Sep 20th, 2007 07:26:38 AM
agreed about Cronenberg. The man furkin rules.The Fly especially is my fave.
The Fly by kwisatzhaderach	Sep 20th, 2007 07:29:57 AM
Yup, pretty amazing movie, endlessly rewatchable. Also Videodrome is a corker and The Dead Zone is very underrated. "The ice...is gonna break!!"
Ladies and gentlemen the missiles are flying by kwisatzhaderach	Sep 20th, 2007 07:30:48 AM
Hallelujah
The Dead Zone by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	Sep 20th, 2007 07:38:23 AM
is my equal fave King adaption with Shawshank.
By Far Cronenberg’s Best Work Was In... by Internet Thug	Sep 20th, 2007 07:44:40 AM
Nightbreed..he knocked that shit right outta the park!! God I miss Craig Sheffer
Cronenberg + Viggo = Mucho Bitchin! by Dr Uwe Boll	Sep 20th, 2007 08:02:31 AM
Videodrome, The Fly, Crash with Arquette's boobies and Spader all cool as ice (Koteas and Hunter were the shit too), Scanners - gotta love the Cronen'man. Looking forward to the Fessenden review.
3:10 To Yuma was terrible by Spandau Belly	Sep 20th, 2007 08:04:11 AM
Mori is making a bit of an understatement calling the last twenty minutes "silly", as soon as they arrive in the town where the train to Yuma is the whole thing just starts getting purposterous and such a rapid rate you won't believe your eyes. The rest of the movie was fine, but hot damn, I don't know who thought up that final third.
I saw Videodrome too late in life. by Nice Marmot	Sep 20th, 2007 08:09:44 AM
I was expecting this terribly scary mind fuck and was kind of let down. Not saying it was bad or anything. The Brood, on the other had, is one of Cronenberg's older films that still gives me the willies. I rewatch it all the time.
Nightbreed by Dr Uwe Boll	Sep 20th, 2007 08:16:15 AM
I remember thinking Cronenberg was a badass on screen as well as off. He popped up in Jason X all too briefly (best thing about it of course apart from the holographic teen-girl campers) and he has a brilliant guest role on the Canadian series The Newsroom (first season) where he takes the piss out of himself (chat's up a girl by telling her how they did the exploding heads in Scanners - really funny, well worth checking out). I still rewatch the end of Videodrome, love Debbie Harry's soothing voice and James Woods putting the gun to his temple - it's encoded in my childhood brain. Long live the new flesh.
I was told there would be punch and pie here... by theonecalledshoe	Sep 20th, 2007 08:17:01 AM
no... okay. Eastern Promises trailer looks wrong on so many egos and the backdrop. Granted the History of Violence actor can act but I don't see the proper casting. As for Jesse James, limited release. (blast it all.) my associates and I are waiting for the 3:10 to Yuma to hit dvd release.
How was Spider? by ButtfuckZydeco	Sep 20th, 2007 08:25:08 AM
I somehow missed that one.
same goes for Existenz by Internet Thug	Sep 20th, 2007 08:27:54 AM
total miss
Right on, Boll. Holographic teen-age campers by ButtfuckZydeco	Sep 20th, 2007 08:28:04 AM
..Ow.....Ooof.......ouch right up there with 3-d eye-on-a-stick and Savini head-sliding-down-a-machete for best moments in the series.
Existenz was overshadowed by The Matrix by Flipao	Sep 20th, 2007 08:34:14 AM
Not an easy watch, I'll give you that, but far from a total miss.
The thing about watching Cronenberg today is... by FILMFUNK	Sep 20th, 2007 08:35:17 AM
He's always been way ahead of his time. His concepts and movies have been too far out there for FX technology to propperly do em justice Like trying to put LoveCraft and the creatures of the ID on film or sort of like the ambition of George Lucas space obsession although thank fuck he's managed to refrain from 'touching up' his old films with CG! Kids watching stuff like VideoDrome today are too clued up on Photorealistic CG so they probably won't be able to get past the rubbery effects. I love all that practical in camera effects because im of that era when the Thing and Alien looked real to me and I much prefer when an actor is emoting to a real situation rather than a blue screen. Imagine how horrifying though Cronenbergs back catologue would be if done today by say ILM or Weta! that would be some fucked up, probably unwatchably horrific shit! Come to think of it does he or has he ever used CG!? Anyway I've no point to make I guess other than I'm old and like stuff like this because when I were a skid that wasnt a melon getting blasted wid a shotgun! It was a Guy gettin his noggin mashed by a Scanner!!!
Spider IMHO (No Spoilers) by Dr Uwe Boll	Sep 20th, 2007 09:07:08 AM
Spider has a great central performance by Ralph Fiennes, he totally lives the life of a man who is schizophrenic, his actions and emotions on screen are the most captivating part of the film (IMHO) - it's in the way Cronenberg presents it to us (all very intimate) - his camera lovingly records all the detail - the way Spider secretly scribbles notes only he can understand in his journal/notebook, his nicotine tarred fingers - right down to the layer after layer of clothes he wears when he shuffles about aimlessley (or does it just appear to be aimless? Yee'll have to watch to find out). For me if Spider had been a twenty minute character study it'd have been awesome (and here's where I'll piss off many Cronen-fans, who I know love this film) but I felt that the dramatic story surrounding this mans condition wasn't as compelling as just watching him, observing him (as if you were sitting back and looking in through someones window seeing how they live their lives out). I know Cannes loved it in 2002(?) critics loved it and fans did too but it didn't do too much for me. Cronen-fans, of course should check it out even if only because you can probably rent it cheap nowadays. How can I have forgotten Existenz??? Got my copy on DVD, kind of reaffirmed faith I'd lost in Jennifer Jason Leigh (she's a supple lass t'be sure) - there's some great stuff in there, William Dafoe is great in his little bit part. Some "straight for laughs" Cronenmoments too (eating that shit in the chinese restaurant for example). Yeah ButtfuckZydeco I remember the eye all too well lol - I use to own a VHS copy of 3 (great disco-themed Friday intro music) gotta love the way the old man jiggles the eye all meaty in front of the camera lens (look at this y'er fuckers!) - but haven't seen the machette slide in a while - both great Friday moments. And just to round out a very long post I'm an oldie too Filmfunk, I'll never forget being a little kid sitting on a swing after having seen Scanners (a film my brother let me watch when I wasn't supposed to see it) and being frightened to fuck of I didn't know what - all I knew was I'd just seen something that took me to a place I'd never been before and nothing, not anything was ever going to erase the fucked-up memory of that experience from my mind for the rest of my life - ahhhh (says with pleasure) now that's what I call a beautiful childhood memory.
I've never seen a Cronenberg I didn't like... by Sledge Hammer	Sep 20th, 2007 09:13:09 AM
...and I've seen them all. Okay, maybe Fast Company was little more than a curiosity in the man's career, and I wasn't quite as blown away by History Of Violence as many were (despite some superb performances), but even so I don't think there's another director working who manages to ride the fine line between being both an interesting and unique directorial voice, and making endlessly watchable and original takes on both familiar and unconventional themes. As long as Cronenberg makes films I'll be watching them. Now if they'd finally release M. Butterfly on dvd my Cronenberg dvd collection would be complete...
it took me by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet	Sep 20th, 2007 09:13:59 AM
way too long to read that.
Yuma's A Good Summer Flick by Aquatarkusman	Sep 20th, 2007 09:15:34 AM
There's nothing all that interesting about it and you won't remember anything but the stray Russell Crowe one-liner a few minutes after having seen it, but it's O.K... except for the gaping plot holes and 180 degree character turns. On second thought, fuck this movie.
Oh, and speaking of Cronenberg... by Sledge Hammer	Sep 20th, 2007 09:19:04 AM
...I got kicked out of a local film school for being a Cronenberg fan, because the tutor hates his work and I dared argue the opposite by citing Cronenberg when we were all asked about directors we admired. True story. It was a shit school anyway, run by an ex-pat Canadian fuck whose ego far eclipsed his talent or anything he had to teach anyone.
I agree completely about Yuma by Rupee88	Sep 20th, 2007 09:24:38 AM
It could have been a great film with a slightly better script. Crowe and Bale are excellent, but the plot holes and character motivitations (or lack thereof) are pretty glaring. But it was fun to watch for the most part, so it is good, but far from graet.
Yuma was the best flick of the year. by Saluki	Sep 20th, 2007 09:32:17 AM
... So far. After another viewing, the quiet Crowe character comes off as someone who doesn't enjoy being around his men at all. The character turn could be seen coming miles away in this light.
No mention of Ben Foster? by raw_bean	Sep 20th, 2007 09:48:14 AM
Charlie Prince was what impressed me most about 3:10 to Yuma, though like Mori, I wasn't as blown away as some people have been. Good film, not great.
As for Easter Promises, can't wait. by raw_bean	Sep 20th, 2007 09:51:01 AM
My Cronenberg education is sadly lacking (liked The Fly when I was younger), but I tried buying A History of Violence on a whim and really liked it. Viggo rocks, and I really like the sound of Eastern Promises.
If you're fighting naked, shit on your opponent by BringingSexyBack	Sep 20th, 2007 10:21:17 AM
and if you've got diarrhea, all the better. Thanks for the review, Mori - gonna go see this ASAP.
Two great scenes in search of a better movie by Garbageman33	Sep 20th, 2007 10:46:44 AM
I wish I could jump on the Eastern Promises bandwagon/circle jerk, but if you take away the opening scene and the fight scene, you're basically left with a bunch of mob cliches and an unnecessary twist that raises more questions than it answers.
I always enjoy it when a director and actor... by rbatty024	Sep 20th, 2007 10:59:06 AM
feed off each others creativity so much that they have to do multiple films together. I think Dicaprio, who before Scorsese had one decent role as a kid, has really improved as an actor thanks to his work with the seminal director. I really enjoyed A History of Violence so I'll catch this when I can.
Crowe killing his gang was a real dick move! by HamiltonGeyser	Sep 20th, 2007 11:11:12 AM
how mean! they come to save him and they die for their trouble
Spoiling the ending is an even bigger dick move! by Garbageman33	Sep 20th, 2007 11:14:03 AM
I'm just sayin'.
EASTERN was terrific; 3:10 was also very good by Film Whisperer	Sep 20th, 2007 11:17:22 AM
Good review, Moriarty. I agree with most of what you say, though I think I liked the movie even more than you did, mostly because I didn't find Mueller-Stahl to be too hammy. In fact, I found him to be quietly menacing. I also enjoyed 3:10, though for the life of me I couldn't figure out why they didn't tie the Crowe character's hands BEHIND his back.
AHOV - Intentional comedy? by hktelemacher	Sep 20th, 2007 11:20:34 AM
I've seen it a few times now and I consistently struggle with just how funny Cronenberg intended it to be. Which is why I've seen it multiple times. I keep going back hoping that Maria Bello vomiting, Mortensen running home on his bum leg, the son incurring the wrath of the dude at school by catching his pop up and proceeding to WB-teen-talk him to frustration, the end dinner scene and pretty much the entire movie not dealing directly with Viggo being a closet badass is done with tongue firmly in cheek. Because if that movie was attempting to be a serious, provocative drama it failed miserably. It works much better as a satire of arch, self-important how-violence-can-blah-blah-bla h-the-family-unit movies than anything else. I have no doubt that's how it was written, but if Cronenberg did it with a straight face I'd seriously question his current state of mind.
3:10 was Great! by mrjoker	Sep 20th, 2007 11:32:36 AM
Are you people EVER happy with a movie??
You left your family alone as they slept? by ImFixingtoDie	Sep 20th, 2007 11:48:24 AM
Man, you really do love movies.
hktelemacher, I think William Hurt answers your query by ImFixingtoDie	Sep 20th, 2007 11:51:55 AM
I don't think AHOV was pitched on any straight level.
mrjoker, yeah, I'm happy with Black Book by Spandau Belly	Sep 20th, 2007 11:53:19 AM
That was a damn good movie. It comes out on video on Tuesday, if you haven't seen it you should rent it. But you've got to admit that 3:10 went horribly wrong for the entire last third. I liked the stuff until they got to Convection or whatever the name of the town was where the train to Yuma was, but come on? There's no way you consider that a story that made sense. I'm not even one the talkbackers here who constantly bitch about every movie, plus I'm a sucker for a Western. But 3:10 was just overwhelmingly stupid. Maybe you're a guy that really likes the small genre of Absurdist Westerns, in which case I feel El Topo was much better than 3:10.
One point about Shoot Em Up. by CrichtonAstronut	Sep 20th, 2007 12:02:25 PM
It was friggin spoof. It wasn't trying to generate real fear or suspence. It was there to be cool and funny and bad ass and it succeeded. Of course we know nothing will happn to the baby. That's like saying I did feel genuine suspence watching Superbad. Now the lack of genuine fear and suspence in 28 Weeks Later, knowing which characers wouldn't die, that bugged me.
Yuma by Kabukiman	Sep 20th, 2007 12:20:15 PM
I know a lot of people had problems with the lat 20 minutes, but I really didn't. It could simply be me rationalizing because I enjoyed the rest so much, but I was able to understand some of the...suspect...character shifts towards the end. What I wasn't able to rationalize was the casting of Luke Wilson in the flick. It honestly took me right out of the movie for a while, seeing him there, completely out of place. As for Promises, I'm a tad on the pissed side that I haven't seen it yet. It opened on one screen around here and I've been trying to go since Saturday but can't get the scheduling down with my friends. Definitely this weekend though. And as for Shoot 'Em Up, if it was a spoof, why wasn't it funny?
Listen to AHOV director's commentary by Film Whisperer	Sep 20th, 2007 12:38:39 PM
Cronenberg specifically mentions that most of his movies have elements of satire and comedy in them, and laments he's not given much credit for it.
Me like-a Yuma! by Zardoz	Sep 20th, 2007 12:39:20 PM
I really liked that film. Some really great performances by all involved, believable characters, great writing and dialogue and some cool action and shoot-em-ups! I was surprised by how sad and touching the ending of the film was, too. Russell Crowe and Christian Bale were both great, and had a really good "bro-mance" going on in the film. I definitely recommend it, especially if you like the western genre. I'm seeing Eastern Promises this weekend; I can't wait! I loves me some Cronenberg! (and Viggo and Naomi aren't bad, either!) Oh, and Shoot-Em-Up was a kick-ass ride, too! One big live-action Bugs Bunny cartoon with lots of action and violence and humor and sex. Good stuff! Go see it, Doc!
I'll check Spider out by ButtfuckZydeco	Sep 20th, 2007 01:43:59 PM
Thanks for the write up, Dr. Boll. I still don't know how I managed to skip that one this long.
why is it.... by drewlicious	Sep 20th, 2007 03:28:41 PM
That it's popular to spear-head westerns as gay? I don't get it, people seem to find subtext in this genre that simply isn't there. Case in point: a critic (I think he was in the Village Voice, don't hold me to it) remarked on how homo-erotic the relationship between Crowe and Bale was by noting the scene where Bale cut's his meat for him. That's reaching since Crowe was just mocking him. Then of course the writer remarks on Ben Foster's feminine nature and obvious man-crush on Crowe in the film. Both observations are true but I fail to see any hurtful context in one tried and true fact: on sub-conscious level most straight men are spooked by this sort of thing. It's how we are and it adds to Foster's menace. The whole subtext debate just pisses me off because it's nothing more than the musings of pudgy little men who seem to have a problem with a genre that portrays unapologetic (and often hamfisted) machismo. P.S. For those of you that think I'm being homophobic keep in mind one of my roommates is gay and is a very interesting and courteous person who I talk to at great lengths. But if he said or even hinted that he wanted to fuck me, it would freak me out.
Better odds... by Internet Thug	Sep 20th, 2007 04:24:44 PM
Catching the 3:10 to Yuma or Mori actually posting any of the shit he said he was going to post today?
My Cronenberg Top 10 by bswise	Sep 20th, 2007 04:49:09 PM
1. eXistenZ (1999), 2. Videodrome (1983), 3. The Dead Zone (1983), 4. The Fly (1986), 5. Scanners (1981), 6. Dead Ringers (1988), 7. The Brood (1979), 8. Rabid (1977), 9. Shivers (1975), 10. A History of Violence (2005). Didn’t like Naked Lunch so much, but it was an interesting failure. Haven’t seen Spider (2002), Crash (1996/I), M. Butterfly (1993), or Fast Company (1979).
SoylentMean... by TheRealMoriarty	Sep 20th, 2007 04:58:53 PM
... damn straight it wasn't DEADWOOD... but what is?
A primal fight that goes on longer than you think it... by Iowa Snot Client	Sep 20th, 2007 05:48:21 PM
possibly can? Like in "They Live?" Cool.
Spider, Man by Iowa Snot Client	Sep 20th, 2007 05:57:07 PM
Spider was... OK. Like Dr. Boll said. It's like watching your acting teacher leading an exercise. "OK, class, this is me being schizophrenic." Crash was... OK. And Casey Jones from TMNT 1 was in it.
Can't wait to see Viggo in THE ROAD by Film Whisperer	Sep 20th, 2007 07:45:30 PM
Thanks to Cronenberg, he's really become one of the premiere actors of his generation. Great idea to cast him in THE ROAD. Let's hope the Weinstein Bros. don't fuck with it and let John Hilcoat make a quality pic. It could be overwhelming.
The Last Winter by Bob of the Shire	Sep 20th, 2007 07:52:12 PM
The trailer took my interest level for that movie from 0 to a garillion. That movie has the potential to be super fucking amazing, I hope it pulled through.
Probably won't get to see this till DVD by theBigE	Sep 20th, 2007 07:58:35 PM
and even then, who knows, with family around, I have to watch them late at night. But always appreciate the reviews, Mori - keep the matinee stuff coming. I like hearing about the California movie-going experience.
Vincent Cassel is the man. Sheitan and Crimson Rivers! by eggbeater	Sep 20th, 2007 08:12:03 PM
I will watch anything he is in.
history of violence SUCKED... by King Conan	Sep 20th, 2007 10:50:04 PM
plain and simple
Russell Crowe throws a phone at Viggo's balls! by MrMysteryGuest	Sep 21st, 2007 12:35:39 AM
In "3:10 to Eastern Yuma! Promise!"
3:10 to Yo Mama by Bobo_Vision	Sep 21st, 2007 05:11:07 AM
Had to get that out of the way. My problem with the movie is that Bale's character was too weak, and Crowe's much too powerful. The result was that there was no tension during the end. Crowe was always in control and pretty much pulling all the strings. It was ridiculous because (spoilers)Crowe deliberately enters the crossfire from his own men just out of pity for Bale's attempt at heroism, and this lasted for the entire last twenty minutes.
Great reviews again, thanks by Col. Tigh-Fighter	Sep 21st, 2007 06:14:19 AM
I was blown away by AHOV. My man-love for Viggo now knows no bounds. The guy is rapidly becoming my favourite actor. And I cant think of a sinlge thing I dont like the sound of about Yuma. Cant wait to get my teeth into that, as I have a long standing man-love relationship was Russell already. :)
King Conan - whaaaaaaa? by strosmer	Sep 21st, 2007 10:08:44 AM
History of Violence RULED. Plain and simple. Eastern Promises ruled. Plain and simple. Cronenberg rules. Plain and simple. I do not review blindly. I use penis as gauge for whether movie good or bad. I was erect during entire steam room fight scene. This was strange for me, but what the hell. Viggo Mortensen is atttractive fellow, no? Especially with lots of blood? Yes. I have no issues. You are all nice people. Thank you for your time.
I love Cronenberg's work EXCEPT History of Violence... by King Conan	Sep 21st, 2007 12:29:07 PM
I think it was totally over-hyped, had an unecessarily gratuitous sex scene and a lot of loose ends that were never resolved. I was thoroughly dissapointed with that movie and I also think that sex scene was "thrown" in there (the first time the 69 position was fully filmed in a mainstream movie) just like this "fight" we keep hearing about just to bring some controversy to the film.
Okay by strosmer	Sep 21st, 2007 02:19:20 PM
I highly disagree that Cronenberg "threw" that sex scene in their. He's not so glib, and deserves far more credit than that. The sex scenes in Violence are deliberate and the most important scenes in that movie, very telling of the change in the relationship between those characters and necessarily gratuitous. I'd also argue he's not stirring up controversy, he's just controversial, due mainly to the predominantly puritanical culture that still dominates American society. He is brave and frank in how he films sex and violence, but it's nothing flippant or frivolous.
great review of Eastern Promises by CherryValance	Sep 21st, 2007 05:16:48 PM
I totally mostly agree. I liked it a lot but of course I was confused when I left the theater. But I worked it out eventually. I really loved that scene in the basement between Viggo and Vincent. I think Vincent needs to use that as an awards clip. And I've always had a thing for Armin Mueller Stahl. He's so cool. And yeah somewhere in the middle of that fight scene you just immediately know that it's a classic. 3:10 Yuma I liked better than you did. I didn't think that it got silly. I thought everything that happened at the end was necessary. The cast was perfect and I thought that Russell Crowe wasn't really "acting" at all. I got the feeling that that was his true personality.
wrong King Conan by just pillow talk	Jan 17th, 2008 07:29:23 AM
The steam bath fight scene was not just "thrown in there". It served a purpose of furthering the plot and unveiling Viggo's real agenda. It enabled Viggo to "move up the ladder" and then had another effect: Krill trying to protect his papa by getting rid of the evidence against his papa. I think I prefer History of Violence, but I'm not sure.

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Matinees With Moriarty! Wrestles Naked With Cronenberg’s EASTERN PROMISES And Boards The 3:10 TO YUMA!

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