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A couple more 10,000 BC reviews come roaring in!!!

COLLOX! by FILMFUNK	Sep 17th, 2007 03:12:53 AM
?
Making caveman.. by Wired Earp	Sep 17th, 2007 03:20:11 AM
Look good ? Ouch, This´ll pull some teeth
Making caveman.. by Wired Earp	Sep 17th, 2007 03:20:13 AM
Look good ? Ouch, This´ll pull some teeth
Cameo by Ringo Starr by Mullah Omar	Sep 17th, 2007 03:20:29 AM
...would have made this worth at least one laugh. Sounds like we won't even get that many.
Apocalypto for dummies... by blue1622	Sep 17th, 2007 03:28:00 AM
fuck this tripe, vote Giuliani!
PULP! by CuervoJones	Sep 17th, 2007 03:39:52 AM
Viva el sabertooth!
Mammoth Dung ! by BankyEdwards2309	Sep 17th, 2007 04:28:37 AM
Looks like sweet Roland has done it again. I re-watched ID4 the other night. Yes, visually it stands up there - but that dialogue!! Jeez wept. Yes we all know that when the 'action' begins in Emmerich movies the plot/ acting and dialogue are quickly forgotten. But after the universal ass kicking he got for the second half of "Day after tomorrow" and Godzilla you'd think he'd of learnt his lesson by now. It's almost like some directors get into a coke frenzy and just run ahead of themselves so much that their movies lose all cohesion and attraction. It's now sadly become a matter of a seeing a film directed by him knowing that for the first half of the movie is going to be all shock and awe and the second half is going to be either insulting to your intelligence or for eight year old children.
Sorry but LOTR ROTK ruined special effects for me by Orionsangels	Sep 17th, 2007 04:48:23 AM
It was so over the top that I got such a joygasm that I creamed...wait that's not where I wanna go with this. What I mean is, it's like that Beatles song from the Yellow Submarine movie. "It's all time much for me" to take. I got so full, that now nothing in CG effects impresses me anymore. ROTK will never be outdone. It's the peak in movie special effects for mankind.
Bah. Bring me a decent Sumarian movie by DOGSOUP	Sep 17th, 2007 04:49:07 AM
Directed by someone with balls.
The Great EMMERICH! will not tolerate disrespect! by Knuckleduster	Sep 17th, 2007 04:57:20 AM
HE gave us Universal Soldier! You gave us nothing, film geeks! HE is the one that speaks the truth! HE is the one that says I AM!
Orionsangels by NachoNegro	Sep 17th, 2007 05:08:07 AM
If you think that ROTK is "the peak in movie special effects" you really need to watch it again - preferably after a visit to the opticians. There were some very nice effects in there (i.e. Gollum), but there was also some appalling work. Check out Gandalf on the horse when Denethor throws himself on the pyre. The quality of ROTKs effects were seriously inconsistent. Anyway, this is a disappointment. I have a lot of time for Roland Emmerich, even though (like a poor marksman) he keeps missing the target... ID4 was great fun, and Stargate was top notch (and kicked off one of the best sci-fi TV shows ever - at least until it jumped the shark). I wanted this to be good. But Emmerich has screwed up so many seemingly failsafe premises I sort of knew how it was going to turn out.
Emmerich has never by papabendi	Sep 17th, 2007 05:29:46 AM
made a decent film in his life. He makes popcorn cheese of the lowest calibre. Expectations on an Emmerich movie called "10,000 BC" cannot be that high at all.
First reviewer should seek help about that death fetish by Drath	Sep 17th, 2007 07:20:21 AM
Anyone who puts the cold blooded death of characters in a movie on such a high pedistal has got problems and should seek professional psychiatric help. The Patriot was crap for doing what that reviewer enjoyed, and those other movies were not made cool by killing off characters like they're insects. If that were the mark of a good movie, those crap monster movies on the Sci-Fi Channel would be in theaters.
Is anyone surprised that it's shit? by obi12kenobi	Sep 17th, 2007 07:36:04 AM
seriously. i watched independence day the other day and i couldn't believe how unbelievably shit that film it. i mean seriously, watch that film then think about the decisions that were made and the brain behind those decisions. tis not a good brain, me thinks...
When Women Had Tails! by johnnyangel	Sep 17th, 2007 08:46:56 AM
Now that's a great caveman movie.
Keep the reviews for this coming! by Reynard Muldrake	Sep 17th, 2007 09:01:14 AM
This movie looks like a fantasmic ballsucker, but the reviews have been quite entertaining so far...looking for one to take it Neil Cumpston over the top now...
Eegah-shakka, Eegah-shakka, Eegah-shakka... by Osmosis Jones	Sep 17th, 2007 09:17:17 AM
...I can't fight this feeling...!
It sucks? You're joking! by jawsfan	Sep 17th, 2007 09:23:13 AM
No way it sucks. Well, "ID4" sucked. "Godzilla" sucked. "Stargate" sucked. Okay, I guess I'm wrong. This one CAN suck. Emmerich makes the most expensive B movies in history. Nifty effects, lousy script and storytelling. INSULTINGLY lousy. I almost walked out of "ID4", that's how much I was offended by it.
A completely new language with no subtitles! Do it! by Spandau Belly	Sep 17th, 2007 10:00:56 AM
Like Quest For Fire! Hell, I'd love to see a Woody Allen movie done that way.
What? Me worry? by BillyPilgrim	Sep 17th, 2007 10:17:17 AM
I wonder if this will make as much money as Transformers...
Sumarian or Cimmerian? ( as in Conan ) by Ninja Nerd	Sep 17th, 2007 11:33:14 AM
Sumarian movie? Nah..... Conan Of Cimmeria, oh yes indeed!
pyramids by berserkrl	Sep 17th, 2007 11:48:23 AM
I've seen several reviews of this movie that a) assume these are supposed to be the Egyptian movies, and then b) complain that for one reason or another they can't be the Egytpian pyramids. But why assume in the first place that they're the Egyptian pyramids? This film takes place (one assumes) in the year 10,000 BC. The Egyptian pyramids are thought to have been built between 2000 and 3000 BC. So presumably this film's pyramid-builders are supposed to be not Egyptians but a predecessor culture to the Egyptians.
duh by berserkrl	Sep 17th, 2007 11:49:12 AM
In the previous post "assume these are supposed to be the Egyptian movies" should be "assume these are supposed to be the Egyptian pyramids."
"Turkey things"? Would those by diatrymae? by Stalin vs Predator	Sep 17th, 2007 12:00:06 PM
I'm guessing so (still haven't seen any stills or footage from this film, and I don't particularly want to), although, if anything, they should resemble ostriches. However, a turkey is certainly a more fitting symbol for Roland Emmerich.
Camilla Belle by Black And Gold	Sep 17th, 2007 03:10:15 PM
Anyone else think she looks like Tom Cruise?
Kill Whitey, damn. by Doc_Strange	Sep 17th, 2007 03:37:33 PM
I'm sorry, but having pretty much every modern American film with the token blonde hair, blue eyed hero or heroine is utter shit. Fact is, Caucasians are now the minorty so tell me, how are they ALWAYS the motherfuckin' saviors of humanity? Will Smith doesn't count as being black either.
Please let this movie shrivel up and die!!! by football	Sep 17th, 2007 05:48:45 PM
No more reviews from our AICN spies. No more unwarranted media coverage. No one discuss this movie ever again. When it shows up at your local multiplex buy a ticket for any other movie so long as it's not this one. Avoid it at all costs. It's an offence to anyone with a love of good movies. Let this pile of vomit dry out and be washed away into the gutter where it belongs.
Well NachoNegro... by Orionsangels	Sep 17th, 2007 07:36:19 PM
It's moslty the entire Oliphant sequence from ROTK I'm talking about. It was over the top and unlike most special effects in movies today. It went on forever. Usually money shots are short sequences, this was the gran daddy of special effects. It was overload!
Noway Emmerich is Chasing Bay by mrdinky	Sep 17th, 2007 09:34:58 PM
there's just no way. they both make studio action movies. and the devlin/emmerich connection is a copyright infringement every time out. but emmerich still has a way to go to catch michael fucking bay. emmerich is unoriginal and safe. everything he's done (in hollywood) is superior to ARMAGEDDON, PEARL HARBOR, and TRANSFORMERS. everything. so either 10,000 BC is really really really bad (given the retarded date - pyramids were built c. 2,000 BCE - that's not out of the question), or there's a shitload of hyperbole going on in that second review. btw: ID4 was not fun. it was too damn long with too little action. one note pony ripping off War of the Worlds and V.
Orionsangels by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks	Sep 18th, 2007 07:38:22 AM
I agree completely. That sequence will be hard to top.

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A couple more 10,000 BC reviews come roaring in!!!

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