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Monki Takes On The DOA: DEAD OR ALIVE Movie!! It Has Hot Chicks Fighting & Eric (insert expletive here) Roberts!!

might be worth a rental by Banshee7	Sep 12th, 2007 08:09:11 PM
maybe
"Ride him like a toilet seat!" by BoggyCreekBeast	Sep 12th, 2007 08:11:13 PM
I miss Chris Penn...
Are we STILL getting reviews for this? by mefrog	Sep 12th, 2007 08:21:00 PM
Like... seriously?
CLOSEST WE'LL GET TO FOX FORCE FIVE by Pound Sand	Sep 12th, 2007 08:21:04 PM
QT, you just got served girlfriend.
Eric Fucking Roberts! by warp11	Sep 12th, 2007 08:26:54 PM
That made me laugh my ass off. Good one Monki.
"Not sure exactly how I missed this one in theaters" by Big Dumb Ape	Sep 12th, 2007 08:27:31 PM
I swear, this always seemed like it would be the perfect kind of ultra doofy movie to see during the height of the summer to get out of the heat and into a cool theater for even a short while...yet I never saw it anywhere either. So when Monki says, "I'm not sure how I missed this one in theaters" he's not alone. When I saw this article I thought "What the hell? Did they just decide on a straight to DVD approach?" But in checking out IMDB, this thing apparently did unspool on 505 screens where its opening weekend it made...a whopping $260,713. Of course, where those 505 theaters were, you got me!
Hurray, a studio plant pimping a stupid movie to... by Warcraft	Sep 12th, 2007 08:27:36 PM
...aicn readers, hoping the stupid ones will bite.
Monki is just joking around. by warp11	Sep 12th, 2007 08:27:38 PM
That's why he posted. He's not really into the movie. Duh.
Monki?? A Studio plant??? by Kraken	Sep 12th, 2007 08:30:52 PM
Son of a bitch, he's been keeping that secret from all of us. I'll have to ask him how long he's been working for the studio at the next poker night. What a sneaky monki.
Yeah Fox Force Five! by tylerzero	Sep 12th, 2007 08:31:48 PM
You hear that, Quentin? Make the mu'fucken movie already!
Wish QT had made Fox Force 5 instead of Death Proof by Big Dumb Ape	Sep 12th, 2007 08:37:41 PM
This may be just wishful thinking from the files of "What if?", but I bet if Tarantino had let loose and made FOX FORCE 5 instead of DEATH PROOF it would've made for a far more kick ass and enjoyable second half to GRINDHOUSE. And I bet it would've helped its box office a helluva lot more...
Jeezus guys... way to be on the ball? by LargoJr	Sep 12th, 2007 08:40:57 PM
this was out on DVD... A FUCKING YEAR AGO... Christ on a frigging pogostick
Death Proof by gudge	Sep 12th, 2007 09:04:22 PM
happens to be an excellent film though.
Wrong Director? by Higga	Sep 12th, 2007 09:27:56 PM
Maybe there's conflicting movie names, but I'm pretty sure Louis Letterier directed both Transporter movies, not Corey Yuen. I could be missing something obvious, but I don't think I'm that mentally bereft.
This movie was fuck'n awful over a year ago... by Scorecard	Sep 12th, 2007 09:33:20 PM
And it's still fuck'n awful now... Bloody hell, this sure aint cool news...
It's a perfect movie... by Gil Brooks	Sep 12th, 2007 09:54:58 PM
...for "Bad Movie Night", if any of you guys with friends do that sort of thing. My crew and I watched it last night, and had a ball.
Kind of like Moulin Rouge by not_feeling_the_love	Sep 12th, 2007 10:14:25 PM
Sure MR had a required taste to 'get into it', but it's light years ahead in terms of quality than this mess. Direct to DVD bargain bins if you ask me. This kind of movie may appeal to a very select few film nerds (just like MR), but I thought it was at best boring and unimaginative. Just like the recent 'Shoot em Up' - another example of film excess with no redeeming qualities other than a mildly interesting villain - where the artistry of the violence is supposed to mean something.
Corey Yuen & Transporter by Enishi	Sep 12th, 2007 10:15:53 PM
I believe in a commentary somewhere Leterrier said that Yuen got most of the credit for directing the first Transporter, whereas Leterrier was credited as something like "artistic director". In truth Leterrier did most of the non-action shooting. I know it lists them both as directors on IMDB but that was a change that happened long after the movie was released. Leterrier did get full credit for Transporter 2, which Yuen choreographed.
Bad movie... by The_Fredo	Sep 12th, 2007 10:22:46 PM
...but it doesn't mean it can't be fun, right? Oh well, I'm a bit beyond 12-15 years old (the target demographic for this movie), so I think I'll pass. In any case, Kill Bill gave me better women fighting one another action. But I would be interested in a Ninja Gaiden live action movie. That would be epic!
you forgot that the plot revolves around evil sunglasse by s0nicdeathmonkey	Sep 12th, 2007 10:23:35 PM
s...Transformers is a total rip off of this!
Kevin Nash Gotta Eat... by TerraRyzing	Sep 12th, 2007 10:50:30 PM
Gotta love that Diesel is still getting acting jobs too, no less doing an impression of his ol' WCW NWO buddy Hulk Hogan. Seriously though never played the games so much before and I'm a gamer, but the movie wasn't too bad. One of those so bad it's good kinda flicks. And duh hot chicks. I totally agree with Monki's observation that Aoki is the asian Drew Barrymore. I couldn't stop thinking that evey time she was on screen.
if its on skinemax i might see it by HamiltonGeyser	Sep 12th, 2007 11:14:17 PM
no tits?
That is a fasle statement. by china man	Sep 12th, 2007 11:17:26 PM
In any case, Kill Bill gave me better women fighting one another action. You all are writing this movie off for no good reason. Take off your berets and just have a good time. Not everything has to make you think or spray blood all over you. Rent DOA and double team it with Crank and you'll find one of the best double features in recent memory.
I thought it was a blast by Thick McRunFast	Sep 12th, 2007 11:30:02 PM
I love the nerds in this thread that think they're above this sort of thing but masturbated all over the dopey JOHN RAMBO trailer. I'll take tits over explosions any day, and Cory Yuen is always a blast.
DOA isn't that bad by And Nicolas Cage as Fu Manchu	Sep 12th, 2007 11:34:02 PM
if you're baked. ^^; I mean at least they didn't fuck up basic story elements that made the game cool (unlike Doom, which inexplicably removed the demons from Hell). Although I was seriously pissed off that Lei Fang was not a major character. I mean WTF, I was seriously looking forward to the black catsuit/skirt outfit. Missed opportunities...
Reviewed this back in July by Varakor	Sep 13th, 2007 12:43:03 AM
so ya its a pretty good popcorn flick. But I'd liked to have seen bigger boobs bouncin around. http://tinyurl.com/3d8z4g
It appealed to my innter troglodyte by godoffireinhell	Sep 13th, 2007 01:45:42 AM
and it makes a good troglodyte double feature with Paul W.S. Anderson's MORTAL KOMBAT. Shame there isn't at least an audio commentary or something on this DVD.
Terrible terrible movie. Almost as bad as Steet Fighter by Reelheed	Sep 13th, 2007 02:49:47 AM
but not quite.
"hot British thief Christie (Holly Valance..." by Womb2dooM	Sep 13th, 2007 03:57:42 AM
Australian. Say it with me; "Australian".
Devon Aoki horribly miscast in this film... by Monkey_King	Sep 13th, 2007 04:16:54 AM
and it should have had CGI work or prosthetics on some of the female leads boobs. This is based on a fighting game with bouncy babes, not squashed faced half-asian models/actresses who can't fill a C-cup.
wha? by HessenRoots	Sep 13th, 2007 04:39:35 AM
I must have seen a completely different movie. Not that anyone cares but I wrote up my thoughts on this a while back. http://tinyurl.com/3bgvp8
Summary of the above review: by Rei-Ginsei	Sep 13th, 2007 06:00:06 AM
"I like boobies!"
I quite liked it by photoboy	Sep 13th, 2007 07:16:23 AM
It's not going to get on anyone's best ever list, but it is pretty good fun. The casting is mostly good as well, with only Kane Kosugi (Ryu Hayabusa) and Devon Aoki (Kasumi) not looking anywhere near as cool as their game versions. On the subject of Ryu Hayabusa, Ninja Gaiden 2 is looking pretty awesome, it's going to be a long wait for 2008!
Good review! by ATARI	Sep 13th, 2007 07:18:25 AM
You made me want to download a pirated copy of this. Thanks!
I think Monki as way too much drugs in his pad.. by Freefinger	Sep 13th, 2007 07:43:29 AM
I mean I saw this at a screening, and this is another one of those crappy version of fighting games that actually have no story line other than a bunch of fighting experts go to this island and fight it out. The acting is as good as ... well... Street Fighter's take at barely being a movie... I mean How much can be done with this kind of story arc... A princess leaves her throne to find a lost one, and goes to this fighting championship and she whips 90% of the people's ass. 90 pound girl hits 250 pound guys like a ton of bricks. Yeah ... ok... I believe it. Ok ok.. It's a movie based on a Video game... But.. WHY MAKE THIS CRAPFEST?!?!?! Is it to generate some extra bucks for the studio? I mean spend 30 millions on a crap shit movie, get it out there, make 7.5 millions worldwide at the box office (480K$ domestic: http://www.boxofficemojo.com/m ovies/?id=doadeadoralive.htm) and hope to generate another 23M$ with dvd sales? This is not good budgeting... I mean who the hell greenlights theses movies? Can I get that job? I think I can actually be better at that than whoever said "DOA! WOW! Great script! Let's make it!" !!!!! I think my 10 year old niece could be doing a better job, yes she'd greenlight Barbie cartoons up to the wazzoo, but they actually turn a great profit for production companies on dvd sales vs cost, unlike this movie that lost over 15 millions in a year and a half of being released. May they pray for the mighty god of dvd’s! This movie was a total crap fest. It jumps way to fast, the backstory is really shitty at best, the fight scenes are either lame, slow, or end up way too fast. Actually nothing is good in this movie, other than the bikini wearing chicks (I will exclude the weird looking Devon Aoki because she ain't that good looking, something’s just weird with her face, like someone hit her with a shovel and the shovel turned ugly). Eric Roberts, this is why his career went to the deep end of that tank. I mean at one point he was doing fine, not great movies, but good enough movies to help him develop his skills and move forward. But now... This movie just confirms that he is slipping and the only thing that can help him, are his cameos on the TV series Heroes and hopefully the much anticipated Dark Night, other than that Eric continues to baffle us by accepting shitty parts like in this movie. I'm guessing his (hopefully) ex-cocaine habit really hurt his cash flow and he just accepts anything that drops on his lap for a couple of bucks. Anyway, Monki, please stop watching movie while on high medication, it impairs judgement, prescription or not. Freefinger out...
EAT ERIC ROBERTS by redfist	Sep 13th, 2007 07:53:36 AM
you know Eric Roberts is more juicy than I thought he would be.
Eric "mutherfooking" Roberts by redfist	Sep 13th, 2007 07:57:22 AM
Had to be done.
get the fuck outta here by 40ozToFreedom	Sep 13th, 2007 09:51:44 AM
i said get the fuck outta here. a positive doa review...
This looks shit! and my 4th Xbox just died in 8 month! by FILMFUNK	Sep 13th, 2007 10:37:05 AM
I give up...
Silly Movie....Ryu Hayabusa Comes off Weak! by DarfurOnTheRocks	Sep 13th, 2007 12:13:59 PM
Ryu Hayabusa of Ninja Gaiden is a certified bad ass. Yet in this movie he is a chump. Next up: Chun Li saving Ryu and Ken's ass in Street Fighter II.
I got this quite a while ago by Darth Scourge	Sep 13th, 2007 01:30:11 PM
I got this quite a while ago on region 2 because I'm a fan of the game series. It's harmless fun with good looking women fighting eachother. But I think Kasumi's "Five Sisters" deleted scene should have been kept in.
DOA has hot chicks, but by Toby___Wong	Sep 13th, 2007 03:32:39 PM
failed miserably delivering the action. I expected to see some good fights since Corey Yuen was taking care of the choreography. I never liked Jamie Pressly but since Earl she has earned my respect. She stole the show in DOA with her humor. Sarah Carter is very cute but had a weak role. Holly Valance is intense and looked like she actually was able to do some action scenes. Devon Aoki was plain dull. Natassia Malthe looked fine but had a dumb role. This movie could have really been something else. Blame it on the script.
@IAmMrMonkey! by Toby___Wong	Sep 13th, 2007 03:33:41 PM
Watch the Immortals with Eric Roberts. I think you will like that movie.
YES BUT DOES ERIC ROBERTS HAVE CORNROWS?! by Kurzinski Valentine	Sep 13th, 2007 03:52:21 PM
like in that movie with Teri Hatcher where you see her jumblies?
Shock the Monki! by BillyPilgrim	Sep 13th, 2007 03:55:05 PM
Eric Roberts is a bad movie GOD!
I saw this during its brief cinema run in the UK..... by knifeandfork	Sep 13th, 2007 06:04:32 PM
....and now i think about it , im not sure why. I knew it would be weak,but i saw it anyway.Strange. Anyway the only good thing about it was kevin nash as bass. Everything else including the piss poor ,over edited action was just cringe worthy.
Funny, I watched this last year at home... by DJSpoonfed	Sep 13th, 2007 06:19:53 PM
What's with the LAAAAAAAAATE reviews for this movie on this site? Get with the times guys, this movie was out on the internet a full year ago
Pfft! Bring on Resident Evil extinction instead by Stalkeye	Sep 13th, 2007 09:36:34 PM
of this cheesefest. Since when has the Tina character been popular enough to play a major role? (and overshadowing Kasumi at that). that scene between Tina and Zack was too stupid even by comedic relief standards. Ryu Hayabusa deserved just as much screen time.hopefully corey yuen will consider making a Ninja Gaiden movie....but after the reception from this movie, I doubt it will ever happen.
Could'nt they CGI the tits?? by tehDude	Sep 14th, 2007 02:50:25 AM
This film needed big breasts. I was hoping for a more Russ Meyer approach with the material. Oh well, heres hoping for a nice big breasted anime version.
Christie: British. Holly: Australian by Darth Scourge	Sep 14th, 2007 04:12:13 PM
Holly Vallance the actress is Australian. Christie, the character she plays in the movie, is British. Problem solved.
There is one thing wrong with the DVD cover by emeraldboy	Sep 16th, 2007 08:08:56 AM
Louis Leterier did not direct this movie. This a dreadful movie. but from a visual point of view, the backgrounds are stunning. but it is utter shite. and we are going to get a sequel. yes you heard me right. DOA 2 is on the way. If Dimensison did pick up the american rites it show me how far bob and harvey have fallen.
Good for what it is by ZoeFan	Sep 17th, 2007 09:43:50 AM
A T&A fest with some very good action scenes. Yes, there's a lot of senceless stuff in this movie, but did anyone expect different? If you can accept that and like girls, a lot of fun can be had with this. Also, the cinematography is quite good (really).
Devon Aoki by Chewbaccalypse Now	Sep 19th, 2007 08:35:28 AM
I'm so sick and tired of seeing her as the token asian chick. I KNOW there's thousands of young talented JAPANESE women that can speak english waiting for hollywood to get off their typecasting asses. I think MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA was the final straw for me though. Even Heroes has a Korean guy pretending to be Japanese! (Ando) They couldn't find TWO japanese guys?!?! Seriously, There are better actors out there then Devon Aoki. I wish her the best, I'm sure she's a great person, but QUIT PUTTING HER IN ROLES she doesn't fit in. Hollywood doesn't know their head from their ass. I can just imagine the 36 year old blonde female casting director who has lived in Califronia all her life comment "Oooh, Devon looks so Exotic!"
Saw it at the theater by Drunken Rage	Sep 22nd, 2007 06:36:05 AM
and it's better than either episode of "Grindhouse." Or "The Brave One," which is a real piece of shit.
The_Fredo... by Mostasteless	Sep 23rd, 2007 01:47:21 PM
"But I would be interested in a Ninja Gaiden live action movie. That would be epic!" Epic FAIL

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Monki Takes On The DOA: DEAD OR ALIVE Movie!! It Has Hot Chicks Fighting & Eric (insert expletive here) Roberts!!

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