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One spy gives you an expansive look at 20 of tomorrow's classic horror flicks!!!

Expansive Write-Up by James Westfall	Aug 31st, 2007 05:50:53 PM
Nice work! Probably won't see any of these until DVD though.
I must be a sick bastard... by DarthTarter	Aug 31st, 2007 05:58:10 PM
Because I really wanna get drunk and watch Postal and Seed back to back. Add in Bloodrayne 2 and we have a whole new level of Hell!
Uwe? by JackPumpkinhead	Aug 31st, 2007 06:09:14 PM
I'd say it's Boll, praising himself, but he's (mildly) more coherent than Uwe...
Highest Grossing King Adaptation... by kuguy3000	Aug 31st, 2007 06:09:28 PM
...I suppose "Green Mile" doesn't count now?
Highest Grossing... by Han Ol' Buddy	Aug 31st, 2007 06:33:50 PM
Yeah, GM has 1408 beat by at least double - 136M. I would have thought Shawshank Redemption was up there but it wasn't. Anyways...
Is Jack Ketchum... by spaceworlder	Aug 31st, 2007 06:54:49 PM
...related to Ash Ketchum?
7th by RokurGepta	Aug 31st, 2007 07:05:47 PM
nice list
Black Sheep sucked ass! by Mr. Moe	Aug 31st, 2007 07:22:23 PM
Uwe Boll quality, I shit you not. Good effects though. Hardly worth wasting your time to see.
THE GIRL NEXT DOOR was doomed from the start. by MaxTheSilent	Aug 31st, 2007 07:55:54 PM
I don't know whether to praise the people who made this movie for giving it a go, or to bitch-slap them for thinking that the movie would ever measure up to the devastating book.
Black Sheep by RokurGepta	Aug 31st, 2007 07:59:58 PM
was like a mixture of "Bad Taste" and "Dead Alive"
But how much torture porn was there? by BMacSmith	Aug 31st, 2007 10:22:20 PM
Lot of horny sickos need to renew their spank bank.
That was actually an interesting read... by Alonzo Mosely	Aug 31st, 2007 10:26:43 PM
Well done...
Y'all could learn a thing or two from this reviewer by ScienceMan	Aug 31st, 2007 10:51:02 PM
Wow, a bunch of reviews that cut to the chase with minimum bullshit. Very nicely done, Calm. My hat's off to you.
Excellent Reviews by Bald Evil	Aug 31st, 2007 11:13:31 PM
Thank you for these concise and informative reviews! I'd like to see more reviews like this on AICN. Less filler, folks, more reviewing! Great job, Major Calm.
Enjoyed this by darrenspool	Aug 31st, 2007 11:40:24 PM
Nice write up.
Black Sheep is Awesome! by TheNorthlander	Aug 31st, 2007 11:44:50 PM
"You'll turn into one of them!" "What, a hippie?!" Priceless! =D
Postal by Jarek	Sep 1st, 2007 12:00:42 AM
Is actually a lot of fun. Saw it a couple of weeks ago. Boll is pretty terrible, but I'll forgive him Postal... the man has balls, and a decent sense of comic timing.
teeth is in no way subtle. by s0nicdeathmonkey	Sep 1st, 2007 01:52:17 AM
it's commentary is broad as the side of a barn and it seems to view all men as rapists, and all women as incapable of enjoying sex.
I thought Black Sheep was shite... by Sledge Hammer	Sep 1st, 2007 03:42:35 AM
...every single beat of that film, every gag, every movement is not only painfully obvious, but it's porly delivered without even a hint of true fun or panache. It's one of those things that sounds funny on paper, and could have been a lot of fun, but sadly was utterly bungled and the end result is just plain shit. I mean seriously, it's like watching a student film made by people you don't know...you soon start wondering why the fuck you're wasting your time watching this crap. My opinion anyhow.
this festivel is great and all by irc-Hollywood	Sep 1st, 2007 04:16:00 AM
but it cost $300, that's the UK for you.
"but it cost" by Shoegeezer	Sep 1st, 2007 04:46:47 AM
Are you kidding? It was £140 (a shade under $300) for 26 movies, all of which were either UK or World premiere's with guests present. To give you some idea, it can cost between £13 and £17 just to see a regular flick in central London. Frightfest was excellent value, it was worth £140 just to be in the first public screening (second screening anywhere) of The Orphanage. Heck, it was worth it just to see the Edgar Wright's extended Don't trailer. It's not about cost, it's about value.
Black Sheep is fun by CuervoJones	Sep 1st, 2007 06:23:38 AM
A very well done movie. But...great?
Spiral by TheNorthlander	Sep 1st, 2007 08:40:30 AM
...so it's not the Japanese horror movie Spiral aka Uzumaki or the Japanese other sequel to Ringu (not Ringu 2) called Spiral after the original second book in the series?
Roar Uthaug??? by Smerdyakov	Sep 1st, 2007 09:14:25 AM
Bwah ha ha!
botched by Benway1	Sep 1st, 2007 09:42:14 AM
is an absolute guilty pleasure. Bad overacting dumb and completely hilarious from start to finish. Great after too many beers. Definately the "so bad it's actually good" category, Leslie Nielsen flicks seem like serious movies in comparison. Works when watched with the right state of mind which means totally hammered.
I agreed about 1408. by Barry Egan	Sep 1st, 2007 01:21:05 PM
Great wind-up, lousy pitch. There wasn't one scary bit in the entire film.
AICN: HIRE THIS GUY. by Gilkuliehe	Sep 1st, 2007 03:55:18 PM
Seriously, he should write reviews on a regular basis. But hire him for real, not in that Capone shameful way you people hire. Peace.
Yup by NEUR0M4NCER	Sep 1st, 2007 04:18:51 PM
I concur with the previous poster - excellent reviews. This gent should be put on the (snicker) payroll (snicker) at AICN. I worked at the cinema chain call-centre during the booking period for Fright Fest - couch psychologists take note - every call to book for Fright Fest was from the nicest, friendliest & happiest person. Also, whilst it may seem expensive, if you're an enthusiast, given that you get to chat with the film-makers, it's a pittance, and weekend passes sold out within about six hours of going live... Regards
"slyly amusing satire on religious fundamentalists" by Sir Loin	Sep 1st, 2007 08:21:44 PM
Wow, what a tough subject to satirize, huh? I'm guessing they're not satirizing muslim fundamentalists, either. When is some brave, edgy indie filmmaker going to riff on those jihadist idiots? So far only Dr. Boll has stepped up to make fun of them, which means the man has balls in light of what happened to Theo van Gogh after he made his documentary SUBMISSION. Pathetic.
sorry, that wasn't directed at the reviewer by Sir Loin	Sep 1st, 2007 08:40:28 PM
Excellent reviews, by the way, nice job. My beef is with the lack of testicular fortitude by so-called edgy indies. Sorry about that :D
Hey, thanks for the reviews! by micturatingbenjamin	Sep 1st, 2007 10:39:45 PM
Man, I loves me some horror flicks, and more and more it seems like the foreign types are doing it better and better. (Foreign, to me, that is. I'm an American...Inventors of the Missionary Position...You're Welcome.) Although, whatever happened to that Behind the Mask pseudo documentary? Also, I want to see that All the Boys Want whatever the hell it was...It sounds like some good old fashioned horror.. Again, thanks for the excellent reviews....
This guy writes REVIEWS!!! Sweet post. by Doctor_Sin	Sep 1st, 2007 10:48:53 PM
And everything here sounds a billion times better than Zombie's Hollow-wiener.
The Zombie Diaries by Mixiboi	Sep 2nd, 2007 04:18:00 AM
Sounds like something that would take off big if you mixed it with a Myspace/lonelygirl15/YouTube/O rsen Wells war of the worlds type campaign.
Good work, Major Calm! by palimpsest	Sep 2nd, 2007 04:23:54 AM
Thanks for the run-down.
And if London prices scare you off... by palimpsest	Sep 2nd, 2007 04:25:06 AM
Buy a Cineworld Unlimited card. £13.99 for unlimited movies (£10.99 outside London)...
Major, you rock (ditto WRONG TURN 2's Erica Leerhsen) by thegreatwhatzit	Sep 2nd, 2007 08:48:04 AM
Major, you're my favorite scribe on this site; your abridged reviews are extremely well written. I'm looking forward to WRONG TURN 2 for one reason: Erica Leerhsen, who made BLAIR WITCH 2 at least a bit tolerable as a result of her nudity. She was also cast in the TEXAS CHAINSAW remake but was eclipsed by Jessica Biel's sopping wet boobs. Leerhsen is quite tempestuous, I wish she was indelibly locked into the genre (a la Cerina Vincent, who survived Eli Roth and the very derivative CABIN FEVER. Vincent is also cast in RETURN TO HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL; anyone hear about the multiple endings?). At any rate, I think Leerhsen--sans surgery (all natural)--is just as hot as Ms. Biel, no question about it.
Sir Loin by Bass Bastardson	Sep 2nd, 2007 02:33:47 PM
Muslim fundamentalists ARE religious fundamentalists.
Terrific Job, Major Calm by psychedelic	Sep 8th, 2007 03:52:30 AM
I've done paragraph reviews of fistfuls of flicks at festivals. I commend your effort. Hope to read more by you.

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