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That DALLAS Movie Is Churning Again!! A New Director!! A New Writer!! The Same Travolta!!

FOURTH!! by RockLobster800	Aug 24th, 2007 12:09:04 PM
?
Damn, I couldnt even get that right... by RockLobster800	Aug 24th, 2007 12:09:39 PM
Dallas movie-could not give a toss....
What a stellar news day. by Stuntcock Mike	Aug 24th, 2007 12:10:17 PM
This'll make 200 mill easy. Meh.
following the oh-so-successful formula by Charlie Murphy	Aug 24th, 2007 12:10:17 PM
of re-inventing old shows as comedies. because they've all been successful thus far... dumb cocksuckers. although pam brady makes this project... interesting. she's a funny bitch
Travolta was good in Wild Hogs by liljuniorbrown	Aug 24th, 2007 12:10:40 PM
I like Travolta,this movie seems doomed though
Oh wow, old drama show reimagined as a comedy. by modlight	Aug 24th, 2007 12:12:00 PM
That always works. I mean when you think about it there is no possible way you could maybe update on the drama and maybe make it less kitschy. In today's world where would someone possibly draw inspiration from to write a drama about a Texas family empire involved in the oil industry slowly gaining and transferring political and industrial power from generation to generation.
If they go straight comedy..... by liljuniorbrown	Aug 24th, 2007 12:13:35 PM
Why not have Will Ferell as Bobby? All he would have to do is a slight reprise on his President Bush, "Daddy ,daddy, watch me kill that thing" I would be in line opening night for that. I doubt any "fans" of Dallas would be pissed.
Dallas? Really? by Abin Sur	Aug 24th, 2007 12:17:12 PM
This is the ONLY site now NOT mentioning the JLA happenings - and you're posting Dallas news in lieu of it? This has been a bizarro week for AICN.
Spork- by Charlie Murphy	Aug 24th, 2007 12:31:37 PM
don't forget Punisher
Pam Brady... by El Scorcho	Aug 24th, 2007 12:43:37 PM
wrote the best South Park episode of all time. "Gnomes." She used to be a producer of the show, too, but has since moved onto to shit like "Hot Rod," which is unfortunate.
Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? by skimn	Aug 24th, 2007 12:49:03 PM
The only thing that Betty Thomas did successfully as a director is cast Gary Cole for Mike Brady, and Paul Giamatti for Pig Vomit. And I will admit that Brady Bunch and Private Parts were better than they deserved to be. Let me repeat though, Who cares? Who cares? Who cares?
Should be a disaster by Jor-El23	Aug 24th, 2007 01:04:59 PM
Can't wait!
Is he related to cousin Oliver? by s0nicdeathmonkey	Aug 24th, 2007 01:05:43 PM
hmm?
You mean Travolta's NOT playing... by Kid Z	Aug 24th, 2007 01:07:37 PM
... Sue Ellen?
*she by s0nicdeathmonkey	Aug 24th, 2007 01:10:51 PM
is she related to cousin oliver?
Terrible by Cliff Barnes	Aug 24th, 2007 01:14:28 PM
This will be a horrible movie, and not just because Travolta is playing J.R. A comedy? It might have worked for "The Brady Bunch," but that's because the original show was a comedy. Dallas was a drama last I checked. Wow, this might actually be worse than a Steven Sommers G.I. Joe movie.
Will anybody see this? by Mattyboy122	Aug 24th, 2007 01:28:54 PM
These corporate hacks are so hell-bent on making films without a shred of originality that they're mining absolutely ridiculous properties to find the next big hit. NOBODY WILL SEE A MOVIE BASED ON DALLAS. Jesus, if this was 20 years ago, then yes, people would check it out, but for fuck's sake let's move on and get something original out there.
Cinematic apocalypse by kwisatzhaderach	Aug 24th, 2007 01:51:00 PM
It's exactly this kind of trash that is destroying mainstream American cinema. I'd love to sit in on the board that greenlights cinematic abortions such as this.
Merrick, do you still have that shirt? by brokentusk	Aug 24th, 2007 01:51:45 PM
Cause I want one. Walking around with that T-shirt today... fucking hilarious.
Thomas and Brady by The Real MiraJeff	Aug 24th, 2007 02:02:58 PM
I could give a shit about a Dallas movie but I wanted to weigh in on two points. First, Betty Thomas is a very nice choice as director. I thoroughly enjoyed the Brady Bunch movie as a kid and Private Parts is hysterical. As for Pam Brady, I'm not much of a fan. I know she worked on the South Park movie but I've read a couple of her scripts, including one called Genius, and they've all been very blah. No ringing endorsement here, but like I said, who cares about a Dallas movie? Isn't Travolta veering into self-parody these days? How about a Face/Off sequel, bro? You've got the juice, Johnny. Make it happen!
Travolta is fast disappearing into a cloud of campness by palimpsest	Aug 24th, 2007 02:12:22 PM
More an observation than a criticism, but there you go. I'll never see this movie unless it's on TV at two in the morning and I seriously have nothing else to do. That said, Betty Thomas is perhaps underrated: PRIVATE PARTS is funny (a much better movie than it has any right to be, as someone observed above), and the BRADY BUNCH films weren't terrible, though as a Brit (where BRADY never really played, and certainly not in syndication) the joke was perhaps a little lost on me. The whole 'remake-an-old-TV-drama-as-com edy-movie' thing has runs its course by now, surely. Unless in 2027 we get slapstick remakes of OZ, DEADWOOD and THE SHIELD...
You know what? by Anna Valerious	Aug 24th, 2007 02:33:00 PM
This is going to be more bearable to watch than the unnatural Edna Turnblad sounding like Janice from the muppets. Plus, I still think "Miami Vice" should've been a comedy. Think of all the '80s jokes...I would've gladly paid $7 to see Colin Farrell in pastels.
Whoo-hooo! Yeah! by Snookeroo	Aug 24th, 2007 02:35:10 PM
I can't wait to miss this.
palimpsest by zacdilone	Aug 24th, 2007 02:49:22 PM
I remember when the Brady movies came out in the UK. As an American living overseas, I laughed my ass off. Unfortunately, everyone else in the cinema thought I was nuts.
Zacdilone by palimpsest	Aug 24th, 2007 03:07:16 PM
That's exactly what it was like when I saw it. I thought it was a bit funny cos I knew the series vaguely and could sort of see the jokes. Rest of cinema? Puzzlement. As an American living overseas, I'd imagine you get that a lot...
Re: Brady Bunch movies in the UK... by Kid Z	Aug 24th, 2007 03:35:16 PM
... Us yanks feel the same way watching the Mr. Bean movies
Gimme a break by Toby___Wong	Aug 24th, 2007 03:37:56 PM
Dallas should not be remade. No one can play JR Ewing.
Watched Dallas when it aired but I don't see the point by Big Jim	Aug 24th, 2007 03:39:31 PM
of a movie. The PG13 crowd never saw this and have no connection to it. Forget them, make it a hard R and it might be worth it. And get rid of Travolta. I'd rather see Colin Farell as JR. Or even Will Farell. Matthew Mcconaughey as Bobby. Clint Eastwood as Jock. Maybe Kevin Costner as Gary. Hilary Duff or Mandy Moore as Lucy Carla Gugino as either Pam or Sue Ellen. Ellen Burstyn as Miss Ellie. Paul Giamatti as Cliff. And Peter O'Toole as Digger Barnes. and they need to get Derek McGrath to reprise his role as the sleezy lingerie shop-owner, Oswald Valentine. Then maybe I'll go see it.
Is there a market for this? by KillaKane	Aug 24th, 2007 03:48:14 PM
Remember the show with and the 'who shot Jr?' hype when I was a kid, it was as cheesy as hell and pretty funny because of it, I suppose they'll be riffing on the archetypes of the original (hopefully in 'Police Squad' style) played straight, but goofy! Could go over with the nostalgics and the comedy crowd.
I shot J.R. then Killed Laura Palmer and Kenny by psychedelic	Aug 24th, 2007 03:53:07 PM
My evil knows no bounds. Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wonder what the 2027 remake of The Sopranos will be like. Do you think they'll do it as a slap stick comedy?
Psychedelic, at the Sopranos movie premiere by Big Jim	Aug 24th, 2007 04:00:56 PM
the film will break 3/4 of the way through the last reel. People will sit and look at the blank screen for 3 minutes before getting up to leave, proclaiming it to be a brilliant film.
Sorry this wont work... by Mr. Profit	Aug 24th, 2007 04:08:28 PM
I am catching up on Dallas re-runs on SoapNet (yup mutherfucking SoapNet, and?). Anyhow, this could only work as a movie if it's taken a bit more seriously than a comedy. No one wants to see a comedic version of "Dallas" (they should give the show a bit more respect) eventhough the plotlines went a little crazy at times, like when Ray Krebbs was revealed to be a Ewing but he was banging Lucy Ewing in season 1. But the fact remains, Dallas is probably the best night time soap that ever graced the TV screen. It's ratings were ridiculously good and it helped form many of the modern soap opera cliches. Travolta is WRONG for JR as JR was damn near evil and I don't care to see Travolta acting like the villain he played in Face Off, Broken Arrow and Swordfish but this time with a Texan accent. Meg Ryan will be god awful as Sue Ellen, because Sue Ellen was actually pretty and Meg Ryan is not. The JR part will be really hard to cast. But everyone else will be easy. Hayden P. from Heroes should play Lucy since Charlene Tilton is 4'11 they kinda look like each other. Angie Harmon could be a good Sue Ellen. Patrick Dempsey could play Bobby. Kristen Davis could probably play Pam. Notice how I only chose TV actors? Because movie actors wouldn't do a remake of Dallas. They should just leave this alone and revist it as a TV remake 10 years from now. Dynasty would lend itself better to a comedic film remake better than Dallas since that show was a fucking mess.
isn't betty thomas the old ladt from golden girls by Automation Overlord	Aug 24th, 2007 04:18:46 PM
no sorry that won't work, she was pretty cool in lake placid, but not as a director
If their going to go the Comedy route - Pam Ewing = by Yeti	Aug 24th, 2007 04:29:46 PM
Miss Piggy.
1. Underpants. 2.... by Christopher3	Aug 24th, 2007 04:46:30 PM
3. Dallas!
Remakes and prequels by kwisatzhaderach	Aug 24th, 2007 04:51:44 PM
suck. Most sequels suck. Make some goddamn original movies for a change people!!!
They're too late, 80s nostalgia is on the way out... by Flim Springfield	Aug 24th, 2007 05:12:56 PM
Switch to a "Full House" movie or something...
Ideal geek casting? by palimpsest	Aug 24th, 2007 05:46:27 PM
Kurtwood Smith as JR Ewing. Jeff Bridges as Bobby Ewing. Kurt Russell as Cliff Barnes. You get the idea...
We all know... by Vamp-AICNchat	Aug 24th, 2007 07:07:23 PM
...it's gonna suck anyway. I've never watched DALLAS, I can remember it as a kid, but why take on such a legendery tv show? What they gonna do, make a trilogy? In the cliffhanger at the end is Travolta gonna get shot and we have to wait 2 years to see who shot him? Or the third film right at the end it;s gonna be someones dream? This as got turkey plastered all over it. I really hope i'm wrong though because i've got a lot of respect to some of the names linked, especially Vincent Vega himself or should I say Danny Zuko?
"Who Shot JR?" not as compelling...????? by DS9Sisko	Aug 24th, 2007 08:16:06 PM
...."As Who Shot Mr. Burns?," a cliffhanger that was inspired by "Who Shot, JR?".....Are you out of your goddamn fucking mind?...Seriously...I mean SERIOUSLY....."Burns" might have been incredible fun, but apparently you don't recall the INTERNATIONAL mania that afflicted the US when Jon Ross Ewing Jr. when down in his darkened office! That whole series of episodes leading up to the shooting was melodramatic gold, well-written acted and paced. The virtual insanity that gripped the nation was off the charts and I haven't seen quite that level of hysteria for a TV since, with the possible exception of the Sopranos ending and that comes in a distant second. Of course, "Who Shot, Mr. Burns?" is a classic (and one of my favorites) and its own genius cannot be denied. But sorry, Merrick, your sense of tele-historical perspective is seriously off.
Ideal casting: by TheNorthlander	Aug 24th, 2007 08:20:02 PM
Eddie Murphy should play all roles himself.
A comedy? WTF?? by BetaRayBill07	Aug 24th, 2007 08:53:08 PM
J.R. has a plan to screw his brother Bobby out of something involving oil. Hilarious stuff. Hi-jinks and misunderstandings between the good natured Ewing clan are sure to follow!!
Correction... by DS9Sisko	Aug 24th, 2007 09:04:30 PM
I wrote "apparently you don't recall the INTERNATIONAL mania that afflicted the US"....which should have read "apparently you don't recall the INTERNATIONAL mania that afflicted the world, as well as the US..."...dammit
Larry Hagman is rolling over in his grave... by Alonzo Mosely	Aug 24th, 2007 09:15:58 PM
What do you mean he is not dead? Are you sure? Damn... Anyway, yeah, let me join the millions of people who have no desire to see this... Does Hollywood not realize whatever fanbase it still has (and I am sure there are plenty of people who still pine for their night-time soap of choice) wants to celebrate it, not have a comedy poking fun at it... And those who are not fans (the rest of us) don't care enough to pay $9 to see a parody of something that was on the air 20 years ago... You want an idea Hollywood? This one is free, you'll have to call my $4.95 a minute hotline for more... Cast Scarlett Johansson in an R rated sizzling update of I dream of Jeannie... You'll make more money than Belgium's GNP for the entire 1990s...
"Who was J.R."? by JackPumpkinhead	Aug 24th, 2007 09:53:45 PM
...is a t-shirt I feel like putting on now.
The last thing that Betty Thomas did that was... by Sledge Hammer	Aug 25th, 2007 12:10:21 AM
...of any value whatsoever was back in her acting days when she was part of the ensemble in Hill Street Blues. Okay, maybe Private Parts was watchable enough, but still...her track record as a director is far from good.
Play it Again, Pam by teammember8	Aug 25th, 2007 03:13:30 AM
Pam Brady rocks the sauce out of my nuts, splashingly. She's the voice and inspiration for Ms. Pam in the hilaaaaaaarious "Mr. Wong" shorts. But since this site didn't spoon-feed that factoid to you, most of you are ignorant of the fact.
Oliver Stone should do Dallas by chien_sale	Aug 25th, 2007 03:35:00 AM
It should be a trilogy about not only how the Ewing family came to be but Texas and Oil with a lot of spit and vinegar, murders, tragedies and good-looking people. Clooney as Jr, Russel Crow as Ray, Tom Hanks as Bobby, Charlton Heston as Jock. Maybe Billy Bob Thornton as Cliff Barnes.
Dallas was a serious drama. This is a serious mistake. by BringingSexyBack	Aug 25th, 2007 08:32:31 AM
Either way I don't care.
Have to agree with DS9Siko and DarkHawke by tailhook	Aug 25th, 2007 10:52:38 AM
The "Who Shot JR" was an international media sensation. The episode that resolved the mystery still remains one of the highest rated shows ever. That one episode had more people watching then Veronica Mars would get for every episode combined during its entire first-run. Now is it in a context you 90's kids that pilfer this site with stupid ass comments that need to be corrected understand? Here.. try this link. http://www.ultimatedallas.com/ episodeguide/shot.htm
Real Mirajeff by tailhook	Aug 25th, 2007 11:01:29 AM
... Enjoyed Brady Bunch movie as a kid? Once again... freaking 90's kids. There are dumbasses, huge dumbasses, enormous giant dumbass idiots, and 90's kids.
DALLAS was not a 70's show by Sepulchrave	Aug 25th, 2007 12:17:14 PM
It was an icon of the 80's. And isn't this 'ho ho chortling' remakes of shows that were half way to the land of camp on a pink broomstick already a bit well, PASSE?! They fucked Bewitched in the ass (we need a pretty, charming woman...how about... NICOLE KIDMAN!), Do we have to reduce entire decades to their worst, most facile pop-cultural products? Consider Zodiac, a masterpiece of period ambiance in my humble opinion, consider how it showed us the California of the 1970's without reducing it to lapels and platforms and Quaaludes. Consider how it portrayed the slow, aching passage of time; all those hours and days and weeks and years that go to make up a decade. And compare that to a remake of Three's Company starring...oh, just throw a stone and grab the first three kids you can think of...uh, Ashton Kutcher...oh, is he..y'know...still HOT? No? well, that Shia la Boef kid then. And some chicks, and get Nora Ephron to direct and make the fag jokes all modern and a commentray on how fags are cool and shit. Woo hoo. We're off!
Why don't they just flush the money down the drain? by TinkerTIW	Aug 25th, 2007 01:32:59 PM
This is absolutely the holy shit stupidest idea I have heard in years. Does Hollywood really think anyone would pay 10 bucks to see this? Does Hollywood think anyone cares? Older audiences that once watched DALLAS will probably have no interest in it as a comedy (assuming they'd even go out to a theater) and younger audiences could care less about DALLAS. (Or DYNASTY. Or FALCON CREST.) After McHALE'S NAVY, THE HONEYMOONERS, BEWITCHED, etc etc etc, don't the suits get it? The old "pre-sold" titles mean shit. Audiences want originality, they want something entertaining.
All credibility + window = this update by ArcadianDS	Aug 25th, 2007 02:18:28 PM
'Who Shot J.R.' is second in television history standing in line behind the whole 'one armed man' drama that The Fugitive was built upon. The only person who would dare suggest that a SIMPSONS cliff-hanger was better than Who Shot JR is a 3rd grown man-child who was clearly too fresh out of diapers to really remember and experience personally the entire Who Shot JR period. To help this person better understand how big that moment was, it was better than 'I am Locutus of Borg...' - it was better than 'You should wear more sweaters...' - It was better than 'I am your father...' (which I realize wasn't television, but you get the point). Its like when kids get together to discuss which band/artist was the greatest ever and they suggest names like Fallout Boy or Green Day. Clearly, the only people to NOT suggest a name like John Lennon or someone of his caliber, would be someone whose own life experiences are so narrow and so brief, they can't really participate in a 'greatest band/artist' debate - they lack the breadth of knowledge to really make a wise suggestion. To the author of this update: Get a few more miles under your shoes, read a bit more about telvision marketing and its history, watch some TVLand, and then come back to this update and try again.
Look who've come out of the woodwork... by oxfordruse	Aug 25th, 2007 03:04:32 PM
...in this TB. All the sarcastic nerdy little twentysomething fucktards who shit all over something because it dares to be about an era they can't remember. Show DALLAS respect, bitches.
Yeah, when I think "Texas"...I think "Travolta". by uss cygnus	Aug 25th, 2007 05:29:48 PM
Riiiight.
Betty Thomas by dasaroo	Aug 25th, 2007 06:33:43 PM
... was the horse-faced blonde cop from Hill Street Blues. She is an exceedingly mediocre film-maker.
Geriatrics and their love of nostalgia by HollywoodBob	Aug 25th, 2007 09:14:46 PM
What is it with you old farts an thinking that everything around when you were in your prime was great? Of course you remember it being great, there wasn't anything at the time to compare it to. There was only 3 networks in most homes. Home cable wasn't even a common item. So lets see, Friday nights you had a crap ABC movie, Dallas, and David Brinkley. No wonder everyone watched Dallas.
This will join the ranks of... by Bobo_Vision	Aug 26th, 2007 04:34:47 AM
The Beverly Hillbillies, ConeHeads, and other such crappy TV-based movies.
X Rated Newhart? I'm in. by Stuntcock Mike	Aug 26th, 2007 07:37:02 AM
This is my brother Daryl. And this is my other brother Daryl. Now lets fuck.
Maybe this time they'll plan to shoot in Dallas.... by Mister Man	Aug 26th, 2007 09:48:25 AM
and not Florida. There is that new incentives package. Anyway, the original series lost me with that whole "dream season" crap. It totally jumped at that point...some serious story arcs were destroyed, and I said "screw off" to a show that had done the same to me. This comedy parody sounds like a mistake, as the folks who actually watched it will be put off, and the kids who never saw the original, won't go. And in the whole "six degrees" scenario, does anybody remember that Tina Louise was in the first season????
His name's JR by smackfu	Aug 26th, 2007 10:02:40 AM
He's a real bad guy, and he lives on a farm with his mom.
And how the hell... by Bobo_Vision	Aug 26th, 2007 10:07:59 AM
...does John Travolta still have a career? He's still riding the wave of Pulp Fiction, and he's gonna ride it till it trickles down to nothing.
Wake me when they make a Manimal movie. by Dingbatty	Aug 26th, 2007 10:15:44 AM
Or Automan. Misfits of Science? The Phoenix? V!!!
30 years from now by ArcadianDS	Aug 26th, 2007 11:31:02 AM
We'll be watching a feature length comedy about the first season of Survivor. Travolta as the gay dude.
You never know. by HollywoodBob	Aug 26th, 2007 01:16:55 PM
If they cast someone like James Van Der Beek, or Casper Van Dien, it might be a good flick. :P
"Family Affair" by nolan bautista	Aug 26th, 2007 11:03:44 PM
..but with incest and a leering Mr.French..
does anybody really care? Give me the Halo Movie by Sgt Rock	Aug 27th, 2007 04:41:38 AM
I mean color me wrong here, but Dallas, a comedy, thinking Startsky & Hutch/ Dukes of Hazzard? count me out. Give me Halo!
Travolta takes more chances than any other Actor. by Smerdyakov	Aug 27th, 2007 10:49:50 AM
And even though most of them wind up being crap, you still have to admire his cast iron guts.
The Brady Bunch deserved it... by bswise	Aug 28th, 2007 12:44:28 AM
...the over-the-top camp treatment. But Dallas does not deserve it. They'd have better luck re-making The Loooove Boat in this way. This project was already taken on too much water, I just can't see it happening any more.

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That DALLAS Movie Is Churning Again!! A New Director!! A New Writer!! The Same Travolta!!

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